My 2011 State of the Blog Address

Last year I rang in an entirely new decade by bringing the world my 2010 State of the Blog Address.

Given that these decade thingies only happen every 8-12 years or so, this year I shall underwhelm even the most underwhelmed with the uncreatively titled 2011 State of the Blog Address.

My fellow Americans, you have all seen the state of the TYGRRRR EXPRESS, and I shall now speak slowly using ellipses (them funny 3 dot thingies) for extra powerful emphasis.

The state of the TYGRRRR…EXPRESS…is…strong!

(No piped in clapping noises or artificial enthusiasm…budget cuts.)

While 2010 has been a tough year for many, I give you my solemn vow that if you trust me to lead you, 2010 by tomorrow will be nothing but a memory!

I will not promise to create a job, but I will bring you Jib-Jab! So long to you 2010!

For those tired of my 38 year old attitude, fear not. In a little over a week I turn 39.

The best present you can give me with perhaps the exception of actual real expensive presents is your presence and your friendship.

I will now be announcing that I am not running for President in 2012. The job is a pay cut and a loss of prestige.

I shall continue to blog.

I shall continue to be often wrong, but never in doubt.

I shall continue to go through life like a Roman Empire hedonist, although with Hebrew leanings.

I shall remain politically conservative, morally liberal, and totally and completely off kilter.

I shall now recognize people in the audience who nobody could possibly dislike to score points with the crowd. All of you, stand up. Now sit down.

My teleprompter is working fine, I just refuse to pay attention to it.

I shall now get to the point in every speech where even the worst speakers gain the gratitude of the sleeping audience.

In conclusion, blah blah blah, better, stronger, smarter, tougher, kinder, gentler, something-er or other-er.

This concludes my 2011 State of the Blog Address.

God Bless you, God bless America, God bless the TYGRRRR EXPRESS, God bless the National Football league, God bless eating establishments serving dead cows with various potato derivatives, and God bless scantily clad Republican Jewish brunettes everywhere.

Bring it on 2011! I can handle it, although I may get a late start and sleep in to save my strength. The rest of you get to work.

Happy New Year all!

eric   :)

3 Responses to “My 2011 State of the Blog Address”

  1. Micky 2 says:

    right backatcha, and Happy Birthday !

  2. Happy New Years to all!!!


Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.