In the 1980s, sitcom WKRP in Cincinnati began each episode with an unidentified hand flipping through the radio stations. One news station calmly stated that “the senator, while insisting he was not intoxicated, could not explain his nudity.”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/WKRP
To avoid the problem of radio static, it is best to get rentals with Sirius XM Satellite Radio. Fox News and NFL Network can get me through the longest of drives and traffic jams. Otherwise, at any moment on the AM dial, Rush Limbaugh or Sean Hannity can turn into any program of any kind in any language, eventually fading into that inevitable radio static.
Several days ago on an over four hour drive from Troy, Michigan, to Chicago, the stations melded into each other. It was late at night, so this transcription may not be entirely accurate. This is a fancy way of saying it is mostly wrong. Yet the following is what I clearly heard, unless I did not hear it at all.
(Politics) “President Obama keeps giving speeches and the problems keep getting worse. People are not seeing results. All they hear from politicians are unfulfilled promises. President Obama needs to be…
(Cooking) …stuffed with giblet gravy. For a thicker brown sauce, go with that rather than country gravy. Make sure to stir it frequently. Nothing lays it on a turkey real thick like…
(Politics) President Obama…He said we needed to take a scalpel to the budget and not a machete. He keeps scratching at the surface but does not get to the underlying cost drivers that are killing this economy. He scratches around the edges. I think President Obama…
(Pet care) has fleas. Pets are not immune from fleas and ticks in the winter. Simple dog collars are not often enough of a solution and medical remedies from veterinarians can be very expensive. Sometimes the only way to afford adequate medical care for canines and kittens is to…
(Financial) Sell China. The country as a whole is overvalued right now. The Yuan has been pegged to the dollar, and the fact is the Chinese government needs to stop manipulating their currency. If the Yuan were to reach its true value, it would be worth…
(Sports)…a third round draft pick. Also, with Peyton Manning out while recovering from neck surgery, President Bill Polian has brought Kerry Collins out of retirement and to the Indianapolis Colts. Collins has had a great career and thrown for over 40,000 yards, but at this point he is older than…
(Politics) Nancy Pelosi…she still does not get the message. The election of 2010 was crystal clear. The American people voted for…
(Cooking) Basted breast meat with thick country gravy. The stuffing is added to create an extra layer to the meal. Make sure to clean the turkey beforehand thoroughly so that you don’t taste the aftereffects of a…
(Pet care) Fine coat of hair. By using a softer roller rather than a hard brush, your dog will look happier, and not be howling in pain. You want your dog sitting next to you, not fleeing like…
(International News) Moammar Khadafi…He has vowed to fight to the death, but the rebels have even reached his Tripoli compound. With Khadafi on the ropes and in hiding, his only hope is that people will think he is…
(Music) Carlos Santana. His big hit “Smooth” goes down like…
(International News) death to the Zionist entity. Hezbollah and Hamas will ensure that Little Satan Israel shall be eliminated and replaced with…
(Cooking) a healthy heaping of scallions and a touch of cilantro for garnish. Paprika adds some coloring and voila…a delicious…
(Politics) Satan sandwich…the budget deal was a disaster. The cuts may never materialize and unrealistic growth assumptions are used. The CBO took one look at it and scored…
(International News) more cocaine than has been seen in some time. The DEA is calling this the biggest attempted heist since…
(Politics) Al Gore tried to use selective recounts to try and take the 2000 election. Now Mr. Gore has been caught on tape screaming and cursing while apparently intoxicated. Mr. Gore has had a troubled couple of years, with his divorce after four decades of marriage and accusations by a masseuse that he was a crazed sex poodle. On each of these occasions, the former Vice President and Tennessee
(WKRP in Cincinnati) Senator, while insisting he was not intoxicated, could not explain his nudity.”
That concludes the news for today. After 600 miles round trip and nine hours of driving in one day, Michigan is in the rear view mirror and the arrival back to Chicago was complete.
Random Radio Friday is now powered down, but the static still remains due to voices in my head. Channel BIZR (bizarre) keeps running the same feedback loop…viagra…mortgage refinancing…auto insurance…dear lord, please get me Sirius XM in my next rental car.
eric