Today is John Kerry Belmont Saturday.
For those who would rather be outside doing things tonight, I question you. Tonight is a good time to be in a sportsbar.
For those who like hot female Russian tennis players, Maria Sharapova did what Anna Kournikova did not. Sharapova won grand slam matches. The grand slam is more than just a delicious meal at Denny’s. Ms. Sharapova won the French Open.
Hockey fans brings Game 5 of the Stanley Cup Finals. The Los Angeles Kings will have another chance to close out the New Jersey Devils for their very first championship. With the Lakers eliminated, it will be interesting to see which Hollywood celebrities pretend to have been Kings fans their whole lives.
Basketball offers Game 7 of the Eastern Conference Finals. The Celtics are led by Kevin Garnett. Mr. Garnett may be collecting social security checks, but he has a ton of heart. Yet the Heat are at home, and LeBron James wants to silence the doubters. If the Heat lose the team will be blown up. As for the Celtics, a pre-game nap would help the old men.
The Western Conference Finals saw the Oklahoma City Thunder defeat the San Antonio Spurs. The Thunder feature a black man named Harden who has a beard resembling that of an Orthodox Jew. As one fan pointed out, “fear the beard.” Black Jews everywhere should rally around Mr. Harden.
Yet for some it is all about horse racing. The Belmont Stakes are today, and sadly few will care. “I’ll Have Another” will not be having another. The triple crown will not be attempted. Despite winning the Kentucky Derby and the Preakness in thrilling fashion over “Bodiemeister,” both horses are scratched from the Belmont. Bodiemeister never entered the race while I’ll Have Another developed tendinitis and is now retired.
This makes John Kerry the favorite to win the Belmont, as he has been every year since 2004.
It all started when John Kerry walked into a bar and the bartender asked him “Why the long face?”
The Belmont is like a John Kerry speech. There is two hours of commentary with only two minutes of actual action.
That could also be a commentary on a Jimmie Johnson Enzyte commercial, but today is not about football or auto racing.
This concludes John Kerry Belmont Saturday.
Now get to a sportsbar and enjoy the action!
eric