The Top 10 PBWGs of 2012

The Top 10 PBWGs of 2012

Powerful Bald White Guys run the world, bringing the list of the Top 10 PBWGs of 2012.

As another year ends, there is one truism that has stood the test of time. When a political crisis gets out of hand, find a PBWG.

Powerful Bald White Guys (PBWGs) run the world, bringing the list of the Top 10 PBWGs of 2012.

For the uninitiated, PBWGs can often be found on the various “Law and Order” franchises. The seriousness of the crime is determined by the number of PBWGs barking orders.

PBWG Level 1 has the police chief yelling “One Police Plaza is all over my @ss!”

PBWG Level 2 has the top police guy showing up with all of his medals pinned to his chest yelling “The Mayor is all over my @ss,” and other authoritative phrases like “If you screw the pooch on this one, just remember that the cr@p rolls down hill!”

PBWG 3 means all heck is breaking loose, and it gets kicked up to either Fred Thompson (DA Arthur Branch) or Tom Everett Scott (Governor Donald Shalvoy, an Eliot Spitzer clone).

People trust PBWGs because they look like people who handle things. They have a reassuring nature. The original PBWG as reassurer-in-chief would probably be President Dwight Eisenhower.

President George W. Bush had low approval ratings in his final year in office. He needed to convince America why a 787 billion stimulus package was necessary. He did not have the political capital to push the plan. Enter Hank Paulson.

President Obama has seen his presidency spiral out of control. The oil spill that began with an explosion aboard a BP ship proved unmanageable. So many things had to get done. Somebody was needed to handle all of the claims.

When you need somebody to handle claims, you find somebody who looks like an insurance claims adjuster. Enter Ken Feinberg.

With that, here are the lists of the Top 10 PBWGs of 2009 , 2010, 2011,  as well as of the previous entire decade.

For 2012, several deserving nominees did not make the list.

Steven Barnes/Blair Hendrix (Managing Dir, Bain Capital Private Equity)

Larry Hagman

Brian Gould (Master Sgt, Special Forces)

Richard H. Anderson–CEO Delta Airlines

With that, America finally has the list of the Top 10 PBWGs of 20112.

10) Francois Hollande (Pres of France)

9) Randal O’Toole (Cato Senior Fellow)/Daniel Hannan

8) William Dunkelberg (National Federation of Independent Businesses)

7) Rick Scott/Jerry Brown

6) Dan Cathy (COO Chick-fil-A)/Frank Van Der Sloot

5) Malcolm Hoenline (Conf of Jewish Organizations)

4) Ben Bernanke

3) The Goldman Sachs Cabal–Paulson, Corzine, Blankfein, Gensler

2) James Clapper (FBI Director)

1) David Axelrod


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