Stock market summary in various forms of English

Stock Market summary in various forms of English:
Great Britain: “Beastly day, what?”
USA: “Things are f*cked.”
Me: “Liz Warren in spandex levels of ugly.”
France: “Vive la surrender!”
Ukraine: “At least your stock market wasn’t bombed today. Thanks for forgetting about us.”
China: “Fentanyl is down 10%. We must fix the supply chain so we can ship it faster.”
Iran: “Death to America! Now we can’t even afford to buy the materials for our nuclear bombs!”

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