Pride humor

Pride humor (updated as jokes come in):

I have decided that I am no longer fat. Please praise me for my courage. I demand the right to use the thin person bathrooms although I most likely will still use the big handicap ones with plenty of space provided that nobody else is around.

Whether you’re Trans-fats, Minnesota Fats, or just regular every day fats, America has a place for you. Now to go find a burger for lunch.

For those of you into boycotts and counter-boycotts, leave TransAmerica alone. They are a financial services company. Like me, they don’t care if you are gay or straight. Just deliver good earnings and get the stock price up. Maximize shareholder wealth.
Pride parades are tame compared to Wall Street partying in a bull market!
(Reminds me of the time the Turkish government, angry at criticism from Senator Bob Dole, organized a boycott of the Dole Pineapple company. The panicked company insisted they were apolitical and sent the Turks a lovely fruit basket. Crisis averted with pineapple diplomacy.)

Regarding the recent massive influx of illegal immigrants, many of them identify as LGBTQ. They even have their own gender-based transportation services. Therefore, we must fight back by boycotting the Transcontinental Railroad.

The song “Why are there so many songs about rainbows?” is obviously an attack on the LGBTQ Community. It is time to immediately start boycotting Kermit the Frog and all of his cousins in the frog community. To be on the safe side, stoners who get high licking frogs should make sure that any frogs they lick are on the approved Act Blue list.

Pride month across most of America:
“I am gay, hear me roar. I am proud to wear this rainbow t-shirt.”
Pride month in Detroit:
“I am football, hear me roar. For once, I’m not suffering. I’m on the verge of being proud of wearing this Lions t-shirt.”


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