The French Presidential Election–Head vs Tail

There are those in America who could care less about who becomes the next President of France. If somebody flipped a coin in the air, we would yell “heads” or “tails,” and have a 50/50 shot of being right unless the coin lands on its side against the crack in the wall, which means a 3rd party candidate with no shot of winning but enough votes to upset the apple cart of sanity. This crackpot against the wall in 2002 was Pepe Le Pen.

For the first time in a long time, the French presidential election is relevant. If the French make the correct choice, they themselves might actually become relevant again as well. It will all depend if they go heads or tails.

The conservative candidate, aka the head in this race, is Nicolas Sarkozy. He is unabashaedly, unashamedly Pro-American. Stop rubbing your eyes. This is not a misprint. He is completely proud to be the P-R-O-A-M-E-R-I-C-A-N candidate. I checked the internet to see if this was illegal in France, and apprently it is not. He has told the French people to stop blaming America for all of France’s problems. Some have criticized him for being “George W. Bush’s French Poodle,” but he continues undaunted. He has criticized the French for only being willing to work a 35 hour work week. A famous joke about France is that “the 7th largest city in France is London.” People go to England because that is where the jobs are.

His most controversial speeches have been about immigration. When the LA riots hapened, liberal politicians called them “rebellions,” “insurrections,” and other namby pamby feel good terms, rather than insult actual criminals and thugs. Sarkozy refers to the rioters in his country as “scum.” He is right. They are scum. Scum needs to be removed. He is prepared to do so.

So in short, he wants to get the French to stop being arrogant, and thinking they are superior, when their nation as a whole is failing. In short, he is asking French people to stop acting French, and for France to stop acting like France. The fact that this is not hurting him in the polls shows that most French people are tired of being mired in mediocrity, and they know they have to change. America is not the problem. France is. No amount of carping about the USA has given France a better quality of life. Becoming better friends with the USA will help both nations. If French people use their heads, they will support Nicolas Sarkozy. He is the head, aka, the brain, in this race.

His socialist opponent is Segolene Royal. She makes gaffes on the campaign trail, leading many to question her competence. She is rabidly Anti-American, and she offers the same failed leftist policies that have never worked anywhere in the world at any time in history (At this point leftists are running to the internet to find a nation somewhere with 12 people where at least 7 of them are happy with a socialist government. It isn’t there).  

So what does Segolene Royal bring to the table, besides wrongheaded policy prescriptions and a clueless nature of the world? What are her positives? Well, for one, she has a smoking hot body and a gorgeous face. Yes, she is the tail in this race because she is a hot piece of one. I haven’t wanted to see a woman over 40 prancing around in her undies in an underclothing commerical since Terri Garr. Women over 40 can be sexy. Joan Collins was stunning on Dynasty. The woman’s last name is Royal. That even sounds regal. Hugh Hefner should be on the phone with her immediately. So basically, she is portrayed as an attractive airhead, which is adorable in junior high school, less so (slightly for some men) as maturity sets in (if it does).

So she should get the women’s vote because women want to make history, and Ms. Royal would be the first female president of France. Folks, she is no Margaret Thatcher, or even Angela Merkel. Yes, she is prettier than both of them, but they are tough women, aka the female versions of Sarkozy. Lady Thatcher was dignified and classy. Segolene Royal’s main talent in her interviews seems to be her long, flowing hair (since interviewers bring it up constantly).

Beauty does not automatically disqualify someone. John Edwards and Mitt Romney are glamour-boy handsome. However, if that is all they offer (John Edwards), the trail becomes difficult.

Some might find my analysis to be sexist, and insulting to women everywhere. It is supposedly wrong to sexually objectify women. No it isn’t. We admire many things in life for their outer beauty, from paintings to perfectly prepared dishes of food to fancy cars to runway models. What would be wrong would be to give favoritism to something solely for its outer beauty. If the painting was made on inferior canvas, it would not be bought. Fancy cars with broken down parts inside can sit in the garage but not be driven.

It is perfectly fine for people to admire Segolene Royal for having a great style, even if their is no substance. Playboy is not about substance. I could care less if the centerfold has an ounce of brains.

However, substance does matter when voting for a president. This is why Al Gore and John Kerry were not elected. John Kerry was ridiculed on the campaign trail as “looking French.” He even speaks fluent French, but when reporters asked him questions in French, he ignored them, lest he be seen as an accurate caricature of who he was and is.

Nicolas Sarkozy, unlike John Kerry, is not backing down. He is Pro-American, Pro-Israel, and anti-homicide bombers, whether they be Muslims or anyone else.

If French voters truly want to improve their lot, they should stop bashing Americans and start acting like us. We are not perfect, but we do alot of things right. They do alot of things wrong. If they ask for our help, they might be surprised at how receptive we are.

The French vote on May 6th. They hopefully will choose the brains inside the head of conservative Nicolas Sarkozy, rather than the incompetent socialism (redundant, I know) of the Anti-American Segolene Royal….even if she is a hot piece of tail.


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