Liberals, Palestinians, and other warm fuzzy moonbats

Them moonbats is such adorable lil creatures. Dontcha just wanna give ’em big hugz and candy? Ok, enough warm, fuzzy sentiments. If liberals and Palestinians and any other people with major objections to logical reasoning want to object to my writings, I suggest it be done in a civilized way. There are normal members of these groups that are embarrassed by the sentiments expressed below.

“you don’t get my point, I don’t hate jewish religion nor jewish people, I only hate Israel for the bad things that happened because of it’s existence, both to the countries
around it, to the Palestinians specificly, and to the people who nowadays live in
Israel, you are trying to convert that whole argument into a religious hate.”

What a relief. This fellow does not hate Jews, only Israel, which I believe is distinguished from other nations in the Middle East by having a large percentage of…ummm…Jews.  So does he hate the land?  The last time I checked the roads were paved.  Let’s face it,  North Dakota people just do not arise the same rage in Americans as South Dakota. It has nothing to do with the people, just that the flatness of the land may be only 97% as pretty.

So many bad things happened to the Palestinians since Israel existed. I mean Fatah and Hamas are killing each other, and Israel is on the map. Apparently the killing of Protestants and Catholics in Northern Ireland was entirely the fault of Portugal, because they exist in Europe. Why Portugal and not Italy? Why not? In further news, trees are falling all over the forest, and only Palestinians and environmental activists can hear them  as clearly as necessary.

One million Palestinians were killed by the Jordanians. That is also Israel’s fault for existing, as well as Armenians, Albanians, Bugarians, Canadians, and all other “ians” everywhere. Now I know my ABCs, Albania, Bulgaria and Canada killed thee. I went to college with a guy named Ian. It might be his fault as well.

Palestinians are the biggest blame game culture worldwide, and by Middle East standards, that is pretty bad. I suppose Israel is to blame for homicide bombings. If Palestinians value human life, why blow up your own children? A six year old Palestinian boy…let me repeat this for you supporters of those peace loving Palestinians…a six year old Palestinian boy…was equipped with a homicide vest, told to go to Jews and/or Americans, and blow himself up near them. By the grace of God, the boy did not succeed in doing this.

Only the worst people on Earth would sacrifice an innocent six year old boy for a warped version of a greater good. The moonbat then continued.

"Oh, and I'm not a Palestinian neither anywhere near Palestine, you do believe

that  the "other opinion" must either be a terrorist and/or a native Palestinian

who must be 'dealt with'? I may even be a jewish peace activist! you wouldnever know."

So this fellow is so proud of who he is that he cannot state who he is. Let me explain to him how this is done. I am a young, single, Jewish, republican male living in the United States who enjoys football, red meat, the stock market, and women who are conservative politically but liberal sexually.

There. That was not so hard.  Publishing the rantings of moonbats is a decision that has a double edged sword. On the one hand, silence is acquiescence. On the other hand, giving them a platform feeds their ego. I usually just flip a coin, and if they are as cute and intellectually cuddly as they seem, I use a loaded coin.

Believe it or not, not all Palestinians are moonbats. Heck, not even all liberals are moonbats. Then again, not all muslims are terrorists, but most terrorists are muslims, particularly young, male, sexually repressed males with no female or job prospects. So here is a warm and fuzzy liberal moonbat for your pleasure.

"21 mostly dumb questions, mostly- while you are at, why don't you ask the Jews

to "get over" the holocaust? God, I don't even know why I still read

the tripe and substandard writing on this blog."

That’s it! The solution to the Holocaust has finally been answered. We should just get over it. Wow, I can now save money on either a Tony Robbins seminar or a Landmark Forum weekend. Who knew the answers were so simplistic?

Now, I know that not all liberals are anti-semites, or for that matter, creatures of the lowest life forms known to man. I had a conversation with a liberal today that was very pleasant. He disagreed with me sharply on virtually everything I wrote, but he was overwhelmingly polite, and an absolute joy to spar with.

Intelligent debate makes for a better society. As for why anyone reads my blog, it is probably due to the fabulous baking recipes I post, or my deeply held opinions on the Letterman vs Leno debate. I am phenomenally insightful, and my brilliance has gotten people worldwide to say “This guy gets it. Now I can rearrange my stock portfolio, separate my laundry properly, get the jokes on ‘Seinfeld,’ and understand why trying to teach a pig to sing wastes my time and annoys the pig.”

The bottom line is moonbats should usually be ignored, but they are the gift that keeps on giving in terms of infotainment value. Plus, writing a whole column is not easy. Genius has its limits. Thankfully, stupidity is unlimited. So when I write an entire column about the moonbats, realize two things.

1) Yeah, I “mailed it in” with this column. You caught me.

2) Summer is a sleepy political time.

3) It’s my column, I can do whatever I d@ng well please.

4) I would rather be sleeping next to two republican Jewish brunettes right now, one on each side. That has nothing to do with this topic, but my entire blog is a ploy to find a woman who can tolerate my inanity on a long term basis.

Anyone can lob verbal grenades. The civilized among us can actually have intelligent and thought provoking discussions.

As for another fellow who referred to me and my readers as “700 pound right wing” luddites, I can only say that according to a “Saturday Night Live” skit many years ago, Saddam Hussein, Idi Amin, Adolf Hitler, and George Steinbrenner all lost weight with “Ultra Slim Fast.” I personally disliked Saddam for killing millions of people, but hey, why not make fun of his weight problem? I am sure Rush Limbaugh cries himself to sleep knowing that somewhere out there, a moonbat calls him “proportionally challenged.”

So fear not moonbats. Plenty of people love you. None of them are relevant or consequential, but they exist. Until then, warm fuzzy Tygrrrr hugz from yours truly.


12 Responses to “Liberals, Palestinians, and other warm fuzzy moonbats”

  1. BB-Idaho says:

    Well, that makes a modicum of sense. Now if we can come up with the difference between liberal and moonbat: and conservative and wingnut, us middle
    ground folk can sort it out. :)

  2. Skul says:

    They also blame the Joooz for the tiny size of their penises. The females do too.

  3. Al Gom says:

    I love it!
    Great sarcasm and biting wit.

    Keep up the good work.


  4. micky says:

    Lets put it this way.
    Lets suppose for arguements sake that America was attacked and we did absolutely nothing to provoke it.
    Who would provide the best fighting force ?
    {A{ Liberals
    {B} Ass kicking Americans

    I know why I’m still alive , do you ?

  5. micky says:

    I’ve never heard the term ” moonbats ” before. So an educated guess would be that these are Bats that have lost the ability to navigate in the dark. And rely on the moonlight to help them see where they are going.
    Problem is , they are still blind as bats. And depending on the lunar cycle and the cloud cover they might still get lost, even if they could see.
    So , “coming out” on a full moon would still be a “fruitless” effort.
    How my doin so far ?

  6. Brian says:

    O.K. those do sound like hate letters…! Big time ignorance, hate, lack of integrity, anti-semitic…I could go on and on…

  7. Daniel K. says:

    I’m getting the feeling that you’re equating your hate-mail fan base with all liberals, and that’s a little creepy. Hate-mail people are fringey by definition. Your title bothers me then; the same way it bothers me when Bill O’Reilly keeps repeating that all media is “far left secular”.

  8. mdvp says:

    Wow, you get some very interesting hate mail. Not to mention very unintelligent. Keep up the good work!

  9. micky says:

    Daniel K.
    Another form of hate is to distort the facts.
    Bill Oreilly does not say ” all media is far left secular”As a matter of fact he says that the media is mostly left or liberal and that a small portion of it is “far left “.

  10. Daniel K. says:

    Yet that portion always happens to be whichever news outlet he’s talking about at the time. Sooner or later he slots them all in the rotation.

  11. micky2 says:

    Once again Daniel.
    Bill doesnt say “all media is far left secular”
    He says “THE” far left secular media.
    That would imply that he too is far left secular, think about what you say man.

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