Today is Labor Day, so in the spirit of the working man, I am going to go gorge on red meat while leaving you all with some of my favorite quotes from a book by Glenn Liebman.
“I don’t hire anybody not brighter than I am. If they’re not brighter than I am, I don’t need them.”–Bear Bryant
“I just found out what ’emeritus’ means. It means working without pay.”–Moose Krause
“An Atheist in Alabama is one that doesn’t believe in Bear Bryant.”–Wally Butts
When asked if wanted to meet the Chicago Bears, he replied, “I always enjoy animal acts.”–Calvin Cooledge
“The Bears are so tough that when they finish sacking the quarterback, they go after his family in the stands.”–Tim Wrightman
“We didn’t have steroids. If I wanted to get pumped up, I drank a case of beer.”–Art Donovan
“I’m going to study Spanish so I can use a few expletives in my press conference next season.”–Francis Peay
“A football player is like a prostitute. Your body is only worth something for so long. When it’s no good anymore, nobody wants it.”–Larry Grantham
When asked the most profitable type of writing,he responded, “Ransom notes.”–Alex Karras
“The Rose Bowl is the only bowl that I didn’t have to clean.”–Erma Bombeck
“It’s a good thing Brian was a 3rd child, or he would have been the only one.”–Kathy Bosworth
“In the long run, the cream always rises and the crap always sinks.”–John Elway
“I left because of illness and fatigue. The fans were sick and tired of me.”–John Ralston
When asked after a bad game about the Buccaneers’ execution, he replied,” It’s a good idea. I’m in favor of it.”–John McKay
“The real make of a man is how he treats people who can never do anything for him.”–Darrell Royal
“If you’re a pro coach, NFL stands for ‘Not for long'”–Jerry Glanville
Asked if he was the best coach in the country he replied, “Absolutely. There are a 1000 better coaches in the cities, but I’m the best in the country.”–Lou Holtz.
Asked his college major, he replied, “I got a B.S. in B.S.”–Bubba Baker
“I never graduated college, but I was only there for 2 terms..Truman’s and Eisenhower’s.”–Alex Karras
“We’re as clean as any team. We wash our hands before we hit anybody.”–Nate Newton
“Al Davis is the kind of guy who would steal your eyes and then try to convince you that you looked better without them”–Sam Rutigliano
Asked what he wanted on his tombstone, he replied, “To my wife…I told you I was sick.”–Lou Holtz
“If defensive linemens’ IQs were 5 points lower, they’d be geraniums.”–Russ Francis
“Now that I’m retired, I want to say that all defensive linemen are sissies.”–Dan Fouts
“I’m a light eater. As soon as it’s light, I start to eat.”–Art Donovan
“Everyone is unhappy at times, even my wife. Only she doesn’t get interviewed about it.”–John McKay
“If I drop dead tomorrow, at least I’ll know I died in good health.”–Bum Phillips
“People say I’ll be drafted in the first round, maybe even higher.”–Craig “Ironhead” Heyward
“Asked if he ever dreamt about losing so much, he replied, “No, I dream about girls.”–Dexter Clinkscale
“Most players don’t mind drug testing once they realize they don’t have to study for it.”–Mack Brown
“My only request is that I draw my last dollar and my last breath at the exact same moment.”–Bobby Layne
“If I were a reporter, I’d want to talk to me.”–Todd Christiansen
“If you don’t have an ego, you’re a wino.”–Conrad Dobler
“If I didn’t enjoy gloating so much, I wouldn’t do so many interviews.”–Jimmy Johnson
“Emotion is overrated. There was a lot of emotion at the Alamo, and nobody survived.”–Ron Meyer
“I recruited a Czech kicker, and during the eye exam, when asked to read the bottom line, the kicker replied, ‘Read it? I know him.'”–Woody Hayes
“If ESPN had been around 18 years ago, I wouldn’t have any children.”–Gene Murphy
“If a man watches 3 football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.”–Erma Bombeck
“Football features 2 of the worst aspects of American life–violence and committee meetings.”–George Will
“The man who complains about the way the ball bounces is most likely the one who dropped it.”–Lou Holtz
When asked what he ran the 40 yard dash in, he replied, “Shorts.”–Chuck Doyle
“I normally run the 40 yard dash in 4.9, but when a 280 guy is chasing me, I run it in 4.6.”–John Elway
“I wish I could remember my halftime speech so I could forget it.”–Jerry Davitch
“When I look in the mirror in the morning, I want to take a swing at me.”–Woody Hayes
“He’s not small, he’s just short.”–Bum Phillips
“That boy don’t know the meaning of the word fear.” In fact, I just saw his grades, and that boy don’t know the meaning of a lot of words.”–Bobby Bowden
In discussing another player he said, “Physically he is a world beater. Mentally he is an egg beater.”–Matt Elliott
On another player, he said, “He has a lot of class. And all of it is 3rd.”–Conrad Dobler
“I haven’t heard from Elvis since his daughter married Michael Jackson. I think it killed him.”–Jerry Glanville
“Tom Landry is such a perfectionist that if he were married to Dolly Parton, he’d ask her to cook.”–Don Meredith
“The quality of a man’s life is in direct proportion to his commitment to excellence, regardless of his chosen field of endeavor.”–Vince Lombardi
Happy Labor Day everybody!
eric
Eric,
I remember some from the rivalry btw the Tide and the Tigers, when I was speaking to a an Auburn fan and asked them how she felt about Bear Bryant, she replied, He is so much eaiser to get along with, now that he is dead.
On the fall of Terry Bowden at Auburn, among all the rumors of him and the Dean’s wife…my sister Mary said, Those southern bells are very powerful it isn’t like he had a choice SMILE.
That was one fun read, eric. Great stuff.
But you forgot the great Sweetness!
“Most important thought, if you love someone, tell him or her, for you never know what tomorrow may have in store.”
I always tell my loved ones that I love them whenever we part, if even for a short time.
Rest in peace, Walter. We all love you.
JMJ
Bill Curry in a night game (as announcer) said, “With the way this game is going, the team that scores the most will probably win.”
I don’t remember which game, but I fell out of my chair when he said it.
Great post, Eric.
I love the Elway quote:
“I could run a 40 yard dash in 4.9, but with a 280 lbs guy chasing me, about 4.6.”
Caught the post a day late, but all as well, moving all weekend gives me today off.