Original ideas will take a back seat to some shameless plugs for people simply because I like them. I am currently in the Bay Area attending a Republican Jewish Coalition conference, and I am speaking on a panel. While I expect people to drop what they are doing, get to Northern California, and revel in all that is me, below are some links to check out as an alternative.
My first recommendation is for Shira Lazar. When I was single, she was a deeply flawed woman because she had a boyfriend. Now that I am in a relationship, Shira is a lovely woman with a pleasant personality, and I wish her much success in her career as an entertainment reporter.
She has two programs on television today, and I hope her star rises in meteoric fashion. She is to beauty and talent what I am to bad analogies.
http://www.knbc.com/station/15773091/detail.html
I had the pleasure of interviewing her in the past, and she was delightful. Oh, and there is a picture of her included.
https://tygrrrrexpress.com/2007/08/my-interview-with-shira-lazar/
As for her website, it remains:
The next person I want to recognize today is a fellow named Nelson Lee Walker. He forwarded me a lengthy email. At some point I will publish the whole thing, but the main thrust was about the 545 people that affect America.
“One hundred senators, 435 congressmen, one president and nine Supreme Court justices – 545 human beings out of the 300 million – are directly, legally, morally and individually responsible for the domestic problems that plague this country.”
I would replace the word “plague” with the word “affect.” Then I need to add to the list.
Mr. Walker is a bright guy, but he left out some people.
# 546–Ben Bernanke. The Chairman of the Federal Reserve Board is the second most powerful person in the world behind the President. Mr. Bernanke cannot bomb a nation, but he can blow the world economy to kingdom come. He has an earnest look about him, similar to Papa Smurf. Sometimes he seems to have as much control over situations as the leader of the adorable blue clan. Nevertheless, he is vital.
# 547–Alan Greenspan. Rarely has an ex employee been so relevant. Many Presidents are less important (Jimmy Carter for one). Sure, he could retire and enjoy wild passionate nights with Andrea Mitchell. Then again, power is an aphrodisiac, and he must secretly enjoy knowing he can screw up financial markets with phrases that only he can understand. Irrational exuberance? Gotta love it.
# 548–Dick Cheney. There was a time when the Vice President was an overglorified dignitary whose primary job ranged from attending funerals of people we did not like to cutting ribbons at corporate supermalls that were bankrolled by campaign contributors. Love him or love him even more, either way Dick Cheney has gravitas.
# 549–Roger Goodell. The Commissioner of the National Football League sets the agenda for the only hobby worth talking about. If Football did not matter so much, then Dr. Condoleeza Rice would not be willing to leave the State Department if the NFL Commissioner job opened up.
# 550–Laura Bush. Jihadists had better pray that President Bush has a happy and healthy love life. I know when I go a few days without it, I want to kill people. Bill Clinton dropped indiscriminate bombs over Bin Laden in 1998 because Hillary was ticked off at him for the Lewinsky mess. Never get a powerful man’s wife angry.
As for political issues, the scene seems to be dominated by the concept of the 3am phone call. It’s 3am…the phone rings…there is a crisis.
If I am in a music studio, the first song I start singing, “Baby…it’s 3am I must be lonely.” Then I sing a 15-20 year old dance song by KLF from the album “Last train to transcentral.” The song is called “3am eternal.” For those who do not get these references, it’s ok. You’re old and uncool.
Now back to the 3am phone call. Here are several versions.
“It’s 3am…the phone rings. A woman answers. The caller screams at the woman who picked up the phone to tell her husband to get home right now or she will kill them both. The woman insists that the caller is mistaken, and that she misdialed. The sounds of panicked Arkansas State Troopers hustling Bill Clinton out of his girlfriend’s house are overshadowed by his wife screaming.”
“It’s 3am…the phone rings. President (eric of the Tygrrrr Express) calmly answers and screams at the caller for waking him up. He tells him that unless war is breaking out, any calls before noon on the weekend will incur his wrath. When told there is a war, he amends the time to 11am.”
“It’s 3am…the phone rings. Former President Clinton (and eric from the Tygrrrr Express come to think of it) answer the phone in a state of shortened breath. This was either because they were in the midst of a compromising situation, or because they were just getting in from a night of carousing. Ted Kennedy’s pants are on the floor, and both men combined can still fit in them.”
“It’s 3am…the phone rings. Our hero, still at the Tygrrrr Express, knocks it off the hook to quiet it. The noise continues. He beats up the snooze alarm on the alarm clock, but the noise will not stop. The Chicago Cannonball informs him that the sound is coming from his pager. He swats at the pager, which shatters into several pieces, yet the beeping continues. The pager is black, making the piece containing the sound impossible to locate.”
“It’s 3am…the phone rings. Yet because of daylight savings time, it could very well be 2am or 4am. When factoring in different time zones, lord knows what time it could actually be. To paraphrase those that like to drink, it is 3am somewhere.”
Well all, it is only 5 months until NFL Kickoff 2008. The schedule comes out this week. Now that is something worth reading.
eric
I like your 3:00am campaign ads much better than either Hillary’s or Obama’s! LOL!
As for Dick Cheney, yes, he certainly does have gravitas, and I like him muchly. :)
I get up at 3 am every morning 365 days a year hoping to save the free world.
So far its been working.
It’s 3 AM. The phone rings. Hillary Clinton answers the phone. “What is it?” she says calmly, expectantly. The voice on the other line says, “Holy crap, Mrs. President. Are you in full make-up, sitting next to the phone again? Get some sleep so you’re not bitchy at the Cabinet meeting again!”
Oh sweetness… I promise I am most certainly not First Lady material…
I don’t reckon there has been a first lady with language quite so crass as mine. Nor has there been one with a PhD… unless you count Condi. Oh, wait, I’m not supposed to make those cracks here, am I? ;)
Besides, about the time I make the assessment of where the beeping is coming from, if it involves technology, I know better than to let you handle it, no matter the hour.
I think I am #973, but I am quickly moving up the list.
Ignore me at your peril.
Clearly, the opening of Summer Training Camp is more interesting that watch two sets of nine guys running around in pajamas. I must admit to a certain joy at knowing that my NY Giants will be, at least for the first few weeks, actually defending their Super Bowl Championship. After the first few weeks, we’ll see just how real they’ll be.