Kukla, Fran, and Ollie Saturday

For two years I have been looking for any excuse to mention Kukla, Fran, and Ollie.



For the sake of full disclosure, while I knew it was a puppet show, I did not know exactly what it was. This was not the first time nor will it be the last time that I will have no idea what I am talking about. Some would say that goes for every column I have ever written, but then again those same people probably violate puppies and kittens.

Anyway, as a former stock trader, life can be stressful. Several years ago, one of the guys on the trading floor started screaming, “PBMMJ, Pep Boys, Manny, Moe, and Jack!”

How is a guy supposed to get some sleep on the trading floor when some other trader keeps screaming? For several minutes all I heard was “Manny, Moe and Jack, Manny Moe, and Jack! PBMMJ, Manny, Moe, and Jack!”

I thought I would have some fun and ease the tension. I began running around yelling, “KFO, KFO, Kukla, Fran, and Ollie, Kukla Fran, and Ollie, KFO, Kukla, Fran, and Ollie!”

Some of the traders began checking their research, while others began typing in the symbol KFO to check the charts. A couple of guys were so greedy that they thought they would save time by just buying the d@mn thing without any research. Whatever stock KFO was several years ago, you’re welcome. If the SEC needs to investigate any large blocks, guilty as charged.

One of the older guys was about to research the stock when he said, “Wait a minute…Kukla, Fran, and Ollie…wasn’t that a puppet show?”

I cannot repeat the expletives that were hurled at me upon this discovery.

Actually, I can, they went something like ?*!”:+&*!, also known as the word (redacted).

My dad had his own take on the matter.

“It was a stupid, moronic show.”

My mother was nicer.

“It was perfectly harmless.”

My father had his rebuttal, which resembled his original opening argument.

“It was a stupid, moronic show.”

His closing argument was equally pleasant.

Well I am bringing the show back today on Kukla, Fran, and Ollie Saturday.

Anyway, for those of you who would rather think about anything else, here are some sites that aired during the commercials of the show.

Actually, that is not true. However, consider this the commercials of my column. Check out these sites.

My Uncle Joey does business consulting. My endorsement of him does not in any way imply a reverse endorsement. However, for those that need top notch business consulting services, utilize him.


My friend Mare Mare has a cool music site. She is a brunette, and has in her life voted right of center.


My friend Laura also has a music site. Also, she is a Republican Jewish brunette.


My friend Harold is doing real estate. He is a Jewish Republican. Yes he has brown hair, but don’t go there girlfriend (I learned that from Oprah).


Ok, enough commercials. Back to the program.

Now, given that in previous columns I pointed out that C3PO was gay, and posited the question of what would happen if he got in a fistfight with Wembley from Fraggle Rock, it is time to throw Kukla, Fran, and Ollie into the mix.

Fran was a tough woman. She could take C3PO.

Kukla and Ollie together still couldn’t take Wembley. Besides, they would all end up dancing and forgetting about the fight.

So if we could just ship old tapes and tape players with copies of these shows around the globe, there would be world peace.

Ok, 22 minutes has been spent on this derailed thought train. May you all have a pleasant Kukla, Fran, and Ollie Saturday. See you next time, back in 1957.


4 Responses to “Kukla, Fran, and Ollie Saturday”

  1. hauk says:

    Awesome- I just dropped Mare Mare a line. Thanks!

    BTW- if you’re free tonight, we’ve got a free show in Tujunga with 3 other metal bands. The Steel Pit, 7279 Foothill Blvd, 91042. Show starts at 7pm, we go on around 10pm.


  2. Dav Lev says:

    KFO it is, but we have a 21 Century version on TV this afternoon.
    Okay, okay, so four teams are left to joust against one another
    to win the “March Madness” title.

    I mean who cares? Does anyone recall who won 10 or even five years
    ago? I don’t. Somehow I recall the name Duke., which has faded into
    the Carolina background this year. I guess up in them there hills?
    UCLA had a shot at one time. It’s best player retired early from the college
    and went to the Lakers. So much for loyalty. No wonder UCLA
    did so badly both in the conference and in the madness.

    About Carolina, maybe these people are fuzzy headed. I had
    a conversation prior to the disinformation being spewed to the American people about how great a President Obama would be..when he made
    the changes. This other person told me McCain was a warrior, a
    war lover..a shoot form the hip guy, using real bullets. Obama would
    bring peace to our nation and world. He would bring the boys out
    of Iraq faster than a Carolina minute. Duh, wha about Afghanistan
    and who knows, maybe Pakistan?

    Obama sort of resembles KFandO show, which I caught the tail
    end of. Like other people’s parents, I and my parents thought
    it was a jerky program. I believe that to this day. I liked
    Paul Winchell and Jerry.

    Obama, Clinton and Company are also no nothings..lots of
    ridiculous talk, hand shakes, smiles, with no substance.

    Now we learn that Obama minimized the G20 conflicts. I ask,
    who will contribute most of that 1 trillion. Will it be the Arab country?
    I mean, they have all our dollars anyway.

    NATO, an organization formed to fight the Sovietskys is sending
    5,000 men to Afghanistan..while we beef up our army by thousands.
    Their troops won’t fight the Taliban, ours will. Just a log of more
    coffins. Get it, more “Frozen boxes”.

    We are talking to the Russians about reducing the number of nuclear
    arms down below the current limits.

    Folks, these arms are hydrogen bombs..one can destroy everything
    from NY to No Carolina. Sure we have less than 1500 active bombs,
    loaded on missiles..but we have tens of thousands in storage, as do
    the Russians.

    Does anyone seriously think we would ever use them against
    Russia,, maybe China, maybe. We will never fight France, or England.
    We might nuke Pakistan, but that would anger 1.4b Muslims.
    Israel has Iran to worry about. Only one bomb over Tel Aviv and
    more Holocaust museums will be proposed. Movies will be made,
    starring Tom Cruz..mayb as an Iranian mullah?

    Hey Obama, thanks to your engage policy, New York City is now
    on alert for a terrorist bombing there, by Iranians or supporters of same.
    The concern is that if Israel takes out Tehrans nukes, they might send
    their 40,000 suicide bombers (as threatened) to take out NY.
    But a local movie studio right here might be an alternative.
    Are out cops acting similarly?

    KFandO, show. Hey guys what about Mrs Obama embracing the Queen?
    I mean, who cares? I don’t. I don’t even care who wins the final four.
    Do you?

  3. Micky 2 says:

    What a trip !, I completely forgot about those guys.
    I dont think I’ve had one thought to do with them for at least 45 years now.
    As soon as I hit the link I freaked and got all jubilent anmd went ” Oh &^*% !, yea ! I used to watch those guys !
    I rememberd sitting on the floor of our itty bitty house in Florida when I was about 6 years old watching these guys on our old black and white and cant say that I’ve thought of or seen em since.
    Was kind of a treat to be reminded of better days when I didnt even know what a democratic was. I had no idea they were the reason I was being tought to hide under my desk.
    Aint that something when rehearsing for a nuclear attack was considered the “better days” !! Ha !

  4. Dav Lev says:

    It’s Howdy Doody time, it’s Howdy Doody time, let’s give a rousing cheer,
    caus Howdy Doody’s here..it’s time to start…and so on an so forth.

    Well Obama’s first visit to Europe by the President really showed
    us again how (like Howdy Doody’s smile), can wow the audience.
    Of course with HD they were all children.

    We heard on Meet the Press today comments by the panel of pundits
    how not much was achieved, but boy oh boy did the Obama’s please
    the audience.

    They went to get trillions donated for the world’s portion of the stimulus
    plan..and got something. I guess something is better than nothing.
    I still don’t know who will be contributing what..but I guarantee most
    won’t come from the Muslim world.

    They went to get a beefed up NATO force in Afghanistan..but instead
    got 5,000 “trainers”. Thanks guys for nothing., just more GIs coming
    back in frozen boxes. (Could have told you who voted for Obama thinking we would pull back from that dysfunctional part of the world).

    Obama said if that the Sovietskys influence Iran to stop enriching uranium for atomic bombs, we (US) will not build our proposed radar and missile
    defense systems on their border. (Russia thinks they are intended to
    stop THEIR missiles, and not Iran or No. Korea).

    Does he really think Iran will go along with 3 UNSC resolutions…or that
    by going to the UN it will stop No. Korea’s goals of a missile able to
    hit Los Angeles? I mean we really do need China on board at the UNSC.
    Fat chance. Russia is preparing to send S-300 anti-aircraft and anti-missile missiles to Iran to ensure their production of fissionable material is for
    “peaceful purposes” only! Yeah, and my name is Ahmad.

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