More Fun With Al-Sonja Schmidt

I had the pleasure recently of again seeing Al-Sonja Schmidt perform as part of the Right to Laugh comedy tour put on by Evan Sayet at the Laugh Factory in Hollywood.

Ms. Schmidt is a Republican who happens to be a black woman. This gives her latitude to say things that I would not go anywhere near. Her hilarity is below.

“I just got braces. I got them because of the Obama health care plan. I don’t even need braces, I’m just getting it all done now. I’m getting braces on my legs next week.”

“Well we now have a new black and white water dog. He is not well trained. He cr@ps on people. In fact this week he bought a dog named Bo.”

“Some people are thrilled that we have a black man in the White House. With a 70% out of wedlock birth rate in the black community, I could care less about a black man in the White House. I want a black man in his own d@mn house.”

“People think that electing Barack Obama will raise every black person’s spirit. Barack Obama did not have a typical black experience. He lived in Hawaii. If we want a black man representing the king of cr@ppy lives, we should have elected Gary Coleman, not Barack Obama.”

“Israel is set to release a set of bombs this summer. So is Hollywood.”

“I am waiting for the Michelle Obama movie. She will need someone to make her look softer, somebody black…Jim Brown.”

“Joy Behar can play the role of Barney Frank.”

“The tea parties around the country led to different reactions. White people had signs that said ‘Taxed Enough Already.’ The Jews had signs that said ‘Enough Already.’ Black people had signs that said ‘Tax This Fool!'”

“Some people were critical that there were no blacks at the tea parties. Well Barack Obama went to Germany to speak, and there are no black people in Germany.”

“We gave the liberals Dick Cheney. They gave us a dic-tator.”

“There is a toxic substance destroying the environment…but enough about Janeane Garofalo.”

“Barack Obama messed up without his teleprompter. He was talking about the pirates. Instead of saying that we were fighting piracy, he said that we were ‘fighting privacy.’ This did happen. This could lead to a porn movie, ‘Privates of the Caribbean.’ Bill Clinton got nervous. He was scared when he asked ‘is there a war on privates?””

Like many people that enjoy razor sharp wit, I look forward to more comedy in the future from Al-Sonja Schmidt.


One Response to “More Fun With Al-Sonja Schmidt”

  1. Michelle Obama needs to look softer? This lady ought to look in the mirror! I’ve seen softer blocks of granite!


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