Short Shrift Saturday

Today is Short Shrift Saturday.

How is it different from Slapchop Saturday?

Well for one it is spelled differently. Secondly, I am writing from a different city. Third, this keyboard could be better, so let the d@mn spelling mistakes go.

Given that so many things have been happening this week, I hav received several emails about why I am not covering certain topics. The answer is a lack of time. Pre-written columns work better when there are no actual world events. D@mn life for happening and rendering my thoughts less consequential.

With that, here are some brief thoughts on world events, which will obviously show that I am giving them all short shrift rather than worthy analysis. I will also be forgetting some events, and going back and adding them to this column with some equally average words that will not be mistaken for the Gettysburg Address.

Now onto non-sequitor news that would make an MTV attention span seem long and a Larry King column seem coherent.   

In Iranian election news, shockingly enough, Armageddonijad won. Although listed on the ballot as Ahmadinejad, the world’ craziest Mahmoudian won a landslide victory. Is Jimmy Carter calling for election monitors? Of course not. Are human rights activists howling? Of course they are, but only at America and Israel. The left is useless, the United Nations is a joke, and this election was a farce. No further discussion is necessary.

North Korea seems to believe that Barack Obama is a complete wimp. They already know the United Nations, as previously stated, is better at posturing than anything resembling an actual action. If President Obama wants to be remembered as the first woman President, he will be setting back women’s rights for decades. I hope somebody gives this guy a gonads transplant in a hurry. Man up, Mr. President. These people don’t like you or us. Grow a pair, and make them knock it off. I want those two women Noth Korea kidnapped returned home. Let’s see some of your magic diplomacy. Otherwise, the only other explanation for your inaction is that you just don’t care. In that case, your aloofness belies an insensitivity.

Speaking of useless women, I think we can now declare the feminist movement to be a bunch of worthless hags. David Letterman is beating Sarah Palin like a rented mule, and the feminists are just enjoying it. Either they like seeing their sisters abused, or they are too gutless to speak up. Either way, the wicked witchs of the left should just put a sock in it.

As for Mr. Letterman, after 20 years of watching his program, I am done. He has turned into an angry, bitter leftist. I truly did find him funny for a very long time, but enough is enough. Is it possible that he confused Palin’s 18 year old with her 14 year old? Sure. It also doesn’t matter. These girls are private citizens.

Thre is a pattern of Democrats going after families. John Kerry and John Edwards went after Mary Cheney. Letterman is just continuing that vile tradition of trying to destroy people he disagrees with. He is also a hypocrite because he also brought a child into this world without being married.

Those who think that Sarah Palin is a hypocrite for supporting family values while her daughter gets pregnant are insane. Sarah Palin is not forcing her life on anybody else. Leftists simply want religious people to fail so that they can justify their own irresponsible lives. The goal should be for all people to raise standards, not celebrate those that fall short.

Regardless, the abuse of the Palin family is pathological, and it shows how empty the left truly is in this country.

An 88 year old anti-Semite went into a Holocaust museum and murdered a Jew. The story is as horrific as it is simplistic. Yes, the left wants to blame the man for having supposedly “right-wing ties,” but the left enjoys exploiting tragedies for personal gain. A madman and hatemonger murdered a man. That’s it.

Speaking of anti-Semitism, Reverend Jeremiah Wright is as awful as ever. He blames the Jews for keeping him from Barack Obama. Well I have been unable to meet with Sir Charles of Krauthammer, because he lacks the time from a scheduling standpoint. He does not have time to meet with me because he is too busy writing about the lunatic rantings of Reverend Wright. A meeting with Charles Krauthammer might lead to a positive review for my book. Therefore, I blame black America for my lack of spectacular financial success.

President Obama spent 20 years listening to this racist. True, he does want the Reverend to stop talking, but only for political convenience.

Ok, enough Black Liberation Theology.  

Veering far away into sports, I am handling the last couple of days like a man. I am almost done crying. In hockey, I wanted the Detroit Red Wings to win. Instead the Pittsburgh Penguins did. I rarely make guarantees, but I would have bet everything I owned on the Red Wings had I actually owned anything.

Whoever won, the loser was the National Hockey League. An epic seven game series in the finals should not come to a conclusion on a Friday night. People have lives. Many people such as myself would have watched the game had it been on the weekend. Wise up, hockey.

As for basketball, I simply detest the Los Angeles Lakers. Kobe Bryant makes me ill. Yes, he through an elbow to the face of an opponent in game 4, but that does not change the fact that Dwight Howard turned into the second coming of Nick Anderson. From 1995 to 2009, the Orlando Magic find ways to lose games. Also, why was Derek Fish allowed to shoot the game tying shot? Foul the man! Tackle him if you have to. The Magic should be up 3 games to 1. Instead, the Lakers will be hoisting the trophy.

Hopefully Phil Jackson, having surpassed Red Auerbach, will retire, and Kobe can go back to blaming everybody else the minute it goes wrong. Almost as classless as Kobe is Pau Gasol, who celebrated the basket that iced the game by chest bumping an opposing player. I also wish Pau would add an “L” to the end of his name and call himself “Paul,” but that is my problem, not his.

Football season starts in 3 months. I can’t take it anymore. Each offseason gets tougher for me.      

Shifting to news that I cannot even categorize, Miss California Carrie Prejean is no longer Miss California. However, she still legally is Carrie Prejean. I hope she continues speaking out for what she believes in, and hope she fights back against the savage baboons on the left that want to treat her the way they treat Sarah Palin. 

As for all the other stories I left out, just pretend I covered them brilliantly. I might have.

I am not a fan of the city of Chicago. I miss my own bed on Los Angeles. Soon enough I will be in that bed, with my own shets, which were definitely not given short shrift.


9 Responses to “Short Shrift Saturday”

  1. Hey, Palin paraded her unwed child-mother around while championing “family values” and sexual abstinence. You reap what you sow. If you think Letterman was tough on the Palin’s, you should hear what some lesser known comedians and bloggers and such are saying. And if you think the Left os more or less guilty of this sort of political family bashing, you obviously haven’t paid any attention whatsoever to the Right in the country! They’ve been doing it for years! Do you thnk Chelsea Clinton or Amy Carter wasn’t game for the low-brow comedic stylings of the Right? Really? Wanna buy a bridge?

    As usual, the Right forgets to check it’s facts. The Carter Center has had plenty to say about Iran, and quite critically. But with the election just over, and Carter unable to monitor them, it will be a while before they can make a definitive statement, if they even can. Iran is very insular. That said, Carter did say that he was disappointed but expected Ahmedinejad would moderate some of his rhetoric now that the electorate has shown some pretty pointed distaste for it. Let’s hope he’s right. But let’s also stop pretending Ahmedinejad is running that country – let alone it’s alleged nuclear threat. You’d have to be utterly ignorant of Iranian government to believe that.


  2. Micky 2 says:

    Yeah well for those who say Palin desereved what she got for parading her kids around then maybe they should suck it up and go after Obamas kids also. Or provide an example where they were treated the same as Bristol, Willow, and Sarah herself.

    hey did you guys see michelle obama’s new look …

    what a slutty wookie …

    (oh it was just a joke … that is not disrespectful at all)

    “Speaking of useless women, I think we can now declare the feminist movement to be a bunch of worthless hags. David Letterman is beating Sarah Palin like a rented mule, and the feminists are just enjoying it. Either they like seeing their sisters abused, or they are too gutless to speak up. Either way, the wicked witchs of the left should just put a sock in it.”

    NOW did speak out against Letterman but you wont hear the liberal media bringing that to our attention

  3. Go after the Obama’s kids for what? For playing rough in the sandbox? They’re barely out of diapers!

    Look guys, you’re going to have to face a reality here: “Social Conservatism” is dying – and it’s dying a hysterically ironic death. Every time the “Social Conservatives” open their mouths, either they or a member of their family immediately does exactly the opposite of what they preach. Sarah Palin preaches tradtional family values? Her 17 year old daughter gets pregnant out of wedlock – under her own roof! Bob Livingston and Newt Gingrich impeach Bill Clinton for lying about infidelity? Both get caught lying about infidelity. Vitter – hookers. Larry Craig – bathroom stall. Mark Foley – teenaged boys. George Bush – two infamous party-girl twins. It goes on and on and on and on.

    The plain and stark reality is that norms change over time. “Social Conservatism” is an impossible dream. Society, like everything else, evolves – it changes over time. Few educated people – and I do include myself in their ranks – thought Obama could win the presidency. Not because he is all that “liberal,” which he’s really not. Not because of whatever dubious associations he’s had over his political career, which all politicians have anyway. We thought he would lose because we thought Americans were still too backwards and racist to elect a black man president of the United States. We were wrong. Times really do change.

    Recently, I’ve read a series of various conservative columnists lately, and if there’s one thing that stands out it’s that they realize that many of the old maxims of social conservatism just are flying with younger voters as they get older and vote only more. Another thing I’ve noticed – and warned about while posting here, as a matter of fact – is that the over-the-top right-wing rabble-rousing rhetoric is going to create some serious incidents out there and the general public is going to get seriously turned-off on the Right if these things keep happening – and sure enough, just as I predicted, they are. I’m not always wrong.

    It’s time the GOP lighten up – and get with the times.


  4. Micky 2 says:

    “Sarah Palin preaches tradtional family values? Her 17 year old daughter gets pregnant out of wedlock -”

    I’ll oblige you this once only because its such a piece of cake.

    My kid screwed up in school the other day and told the teacher in a very disrespectful way not to cram any global warming moonbat crap down his throat.
    he wasa not representing me when he did that as much as I’ve told him not to talk to his teacher that way.
    Does that mean I’m a bad role model ? And that I cant go on to assert that everyone be civil without being called a hypocrite bause of something my son did out of my presence ?
    Hell, at least she kept the kid and didnt cut it out and toss it into a dumpster right ? Abortion will really take a chunk out of any family, never mind the values. As a result , guess what ”


    What do you think would of happened if she hadnt introduced her family to the country in the first few days of the campaign ? Most candidates do as a matter of fact travel with their families during campaigns only a means to show their constituents that they’re not so entrenched that they dont or cant relate to everyday Americans. Their saying “look, I have a family too, I understand your concerns and feelings”
    Did Obama and Michelle not expose their kids just as much ?
    Does that presentation automatically give the media the right to drag them thru the mud ? Or cast unsavory jokes about them. You mentioned cater and Clintons dughters. Where ? Show me examples of Chelsea being focused on like Bristol, or Trig ? Would it not create more apprehension and unwarranted rumors if they kept their families in hiding ?
    As far as us getting some humor goes. I seem to remember an awful lot of liberal feathers getting ruffled over just about any humor directed at them also. You guys dont like it when its pointed at you, we dont like it when its pointed at us, its no big secret.
    To act like we are the ones hypersensative to every damn thing around is just stoooopid. You guys play heartstrings for freaking everything. What We should do is leave family and kids alone.

    Please, Bill was the POTUS lying in the face of the whole damn country whom by the way cant keep count of all his affairs. pfft.

    See ya in a couple months if you keep the baseless accusations to a limit

  5. Of course your kid was representing you! Where else would he get such an idea? On the other hand, it really doesn’t matter for him, in the short-term, anyway.

    Humor, “comedy,” is IRONY – it is reality meeting what we want, what we think should be. If it offends you, then perhaps you should look at what you take to be reality, not what everyone else does.


  6. By the way – are you planning on visiting me? I’d LOVE it! When would it be? How shall I prepare???


  7. Micky 2 says:

    “Of course your kid was representing you! ”

    See, thats why I dont debate you anymore.
    You dont know my kid. He can listen to a song once and play it back (drums) exactly the way he heard it. Hes slightly autistic, a bit of a savante if I might say, could join Mensa if he wanted but figured he didnt need to pay a membership to be told what he already knows and said he wants to be surrounded by people who are dumber than him so he could lead them, hes quite a handful, to say the least.
    Just like you or me hes capable of individual thought, well, maybe not you.
    Hes a conservative 14 year old who marches to no ones drummer, is one year head of his class, and is hell bent on being his own man. I’ve told him to make his own choices. He represents himself proudly, just needs to fine tune his social graces a little better.

    But I did laugh my ass off when the teacher told me what he said

    “Where else would he get such an idea? ”

    From any number of influences around him. Friends, the internet, TV, ya know ? Its not a low blow, but you’ve never raised kids.
    They become individuals who usually develope their own beliefs. As you can see, he rejects the psuedo indoctrination going on at public schools.
    In short, the teacher more or less said theres no debate over man made global warming anymore. And my son told him “bullsh*t”. :-)

    “On the other hand, it really doesn’t matter for him, in the short-term, anyway.”

    Humor, “comedy,” is IRONY – it is reality meeting what we want, what we think should be. If it offends you,” then perhaps you should look at what you take to be reality, not what everyone else does.”

    Thats just your opinion, AGAIN ! (of humor) Some peole find snuff flicks to be humorous. Its about concept, not irony.

    And you should wise up and stop telling everyone as you always have that your reality is the epitome of reality.

    “How shall I prepare???”

    Stock up on some anti depressants, keep a shrink handy

  8. Toma says:

    Social conservatism’s hysterical ironic death. My father was a democrat and a union man, but he never belonged to a union because the company he worked for was and is non-union. The private ballot failed when in the late 50’s a union tried to organize the company. He was an active union advocate. After the vote failed he went to work every day and did his job as before. He never talked much about it that I can remember. He work for the company for over 35 years and retired in 1975. He passed away in ’78. The company has been in business for about 120 years and is still in business today. I worked for the company for a stretch when I was between oil field jobs and worked part-time when I was in college. The company always seemed to have something for anyone who was willing to work.

    I tell this story because I was taught to respect the people around me and conduct myself in a responsible manner. As I said my father was a democrat, but not a democrat of today. He would be disgusted and angry at what is happening today. His union organizing efforts failed and he accepted the decision of his co-workers without complaint and continued to do his job and provide for his family. He was not chastised nor punished for his organizing efforts. It seems that the company also had respect for its workers and acted in a responsible manner.

    Respect, responsibility, and common good manners is what is dying. If that is the hysterical ironic death of conservatism, it is a very sad thing indeed.


  9. Well, Toma, your father sounds like he was a great man. But you make a very telling point: You don’t have to be a conservative to be respectful and responsible. Conservatives do not own the rights on class and dignity, values and ethics. You can be a liberal, you can be a Democrat, you can be gay, you can be a comedian, you can be an actor, a poet, a musician – you can be anything you want as long as it doesn’t infringe on the rights of others. “Social Conservatism” is just that – infringement on the rights of others to do and be and say and think as they please. It is crass and base, low-brow and fascistic, authoritarian and anti-American. Yes, I too am saddened by the coursening of our society, but I delighted by the death of Social Conservatism. It was a blight on this great republic.


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