The First Blatherer In Chief Spaketh

I am promoting our President from First Gasbag in Chief to First Blatherer in Chief.

In a speech that will last forever or a few minutes, whichever comes first, President Obama gave America another teachable moment.

(I remember a skit on Conan O’Brien when Bill Clinton had to have his State of the Union on the same night as the OJ Simpson Civil Verdict. The Clinton character claimed that he was glad his speech was interrupted. “Don’t you see Conan. I’m glad it happened. I had nothing to say.”)

The lesson…when one is known as all talk and no action, continuing to talk is not the best option.

Like health care, I prefer Obama choose the private option over the public option with regards to his speeches. He should keep his thoughts private. That is what got him elected. People like him as long as he does not try to do anything. This is what happens when one is basically likable but completely wrong.

His speech was a delicate mix of 45% platitudes, 30% bromides, 25% meanderings, and 5% fine quality blatheiring. I am aware this comes out to 105%, but this is Obamaworld, so the numbers add up because it is declared so.

Hillary Clinton smiled, and I still think that she wants to leap on the stage and explain why she would handle the issue better despite the 1994 avalanche contradicting this.

As for President Obama, I looked to see if he did his 54 degree angle head tilt to convey seriousness, as pointed out in the Onion.

For those who wonder how many times he head tilted, I am sure that some enterprising college students made a drinking game out of it already. “Hope,” and “change” are the new version of “Hey Bob (Newhart).”

He really does look and talk like Dr. Spock, except with less emotion.

“I will not let up until those Americans who seek jobs can find them.”

He took credit for pulling the economy back from the brink.

I would like to take credit for landing a man on the Moon.

“We did not come here to clean up crises. We came here to create a future.”

Now that is a platitude.

“I am not the first President to take up this cause (health care,) but I am determined to be the last.”

That means he will mess it up, and no future President will want to go near it.

He then praised John DIngell for repeatedly presenting a bill that never gets passed.

I then gave myself a gold star for trying at things regardless of the results. Hey, this liberalism stuff is not half bad sometimes.

“30 million American citizens cannot get coverage.”

Notice he did not say the 45-50 million figure. He also said “American citizens” to take into account illegal aliens.

He then went into a couple of sob stories. Yes, these stories matter, and it could be me one day. However, it is also not a solution. He pointed out that rising costs are a problem. Mosquito bites are a problem. The solution is ointment. Mr. Obama would rather restate the problem.  Maybe he just likes stating and restating.

“Our health care problem is our deficit problem. Nothing else even comes close.”

Ok, fair enough.

He then, as I predicted, turned into Bill Clinton. He began triangulating.

“Build on what works, fix what doesn’t.”

Platitude! Drink a shot!

Charles Rangel paid very close attention, thrilled that health care reform was taking headlines away from his possible indictment for financial crimes.

He used the word “details” regarding “his” plan. I listened intently.

“Nothing in this plan will require you or your employer to change the doctor you have,”

He then restated this. He really does like stating and restating, as I previously stated.

“It would be against the law for insurance companies to deny you coverage in case of a preexisting condition.”

Then what happens when insurance companies go bankrupt? He is offering us the good news, but how will he pay for this?

Maybe he will bring me a chicken in every pot.

“No one should go broke because they get sick.”

Platitude alert! Drink a shot.

I mean who could disagree with this?

He then endorsed wide reaching legal reform and tort reform.

Just kidding.

“We will create a new insurance exchange…a marketplace.”

We already have this! It is called the “marketplace.”

Next Mr. Obama will invent electricity so that Al Gore can invent the internet.

“This exchange will take place in four years, so that we have time to get it right.”

(Or so we can saddle his successor with a nightmare)

He pointed out that some young people will refuse to take coverage. He called that irresponsible behavior. He is right. Yet will he mandate them or not. He says he will. What if they don’t? Are they arrested?

Also, why does he not apply this same logic to irresponsible mortage owners?

“There are significant details to be ironed out (the crowd laughed, but significant consensus exists.”

No it doesn’t. If it did we would have a bill.

As for “death panels,” he said, “it is a lie, plain and simple.”

Everything with this guy is plain and simple except the details of his plan.

He emphatically stated that illegal immigrants will not be covered. Some people booed this in the chamber. He also stated that abortion rules would not be affected. There was stone silence.

“My guiding principle has always been that Consumers do better when there is choice and competition.”

He accused companies of “cherry picking individuals,” yet he actually admitted that they did this “because it is profitable.”

Yet this is an example of him going out of his way to acknowledge opposing views in words while completely discounting them in deeds.

“I have no interest in putting insurance companies out of business. I just want to hold them accountable.”

I do not want to fire Barack Obama (ok, I do.) I just want him held accountable.

He insisted that taxpayers not be subsidizing the public option. He actually claimed that there would be less bureaucracy with the public option.

I really need to start drinking so that the pink elephants I am seeing make more sense.

“The public option is only one part of my plan.”

What is his plan?

“We should remain open to other ideas that accomplish our goal.”

Platitude alert!

“Republicans, work together so we may address any legitimate concerns you may have.”

Platitude alert!

“These are all constructive ideas that we should consider.”

Before being discarded.

If I was playing the platitude alert drinking game I would be blitzed right now.

40 minutes into the speech, he discussed that he was going to discuss how to pay for it.

“I will not sign a plan that adds one dime to our deficit now or in the future.”

He then spoke about a part of the plan that enacts spending cuts if savings don’t materialize it. These spending cuts never ever happen. It is called Congressional budgeting. Give breaks now, ignore spending cuts.

He then bashed George W. Bush for the “Iraq War and tax cuts for the wealthy.”

This is the man who wants to work with Republicans. Child, please (I saw that on a sitcom.).

He will not touch the Medicare trust fund.

He will eliminate waste and fraud.

Just because I can tell you that sugar is not in a diet soda does not mean I can tell you exactly what is in a diet soda.

Mythical savings from combatting waste and fraud will fill the gaps. That is like releasing a 300 pound linebacker and replacing him with a 150 pound backup.

“I will protect Medicare.”

(Grabbing a bullhorn:) “What is your plan?”

Maybe he does not even know.

This would be laughable if it were not so sad. I could have been watching sitcoms where the laughter is intentional.

He will charge insurance companies for their most expensive policies.

“This modest change could help…”

He alluded to Republican support for tort reform.

“I don’t believe that malpractice reform is a silver bullet.”

“I do believe that defensive medicine takes place.”

He then stated that he would direct his HHS person to begin an “initiative.” That was not the same thing as actually endorsing tort reform.

He then mentioned Iraq and Afghanistan and tax cuts for the wealthy.

This guy can’t stop campaigning.

His plan reduces the deficit by 400 trillion dollars in the long term. Of course, he is the one that is creating this ridiculous deficit.

He again created the straw man argument that his opponents want to “kill the plan rather than improve it.”

“If you misrepresent what is in this plan, wewill call you out. I will not accept the status quo as the solution.”

Call yourself out Mr. President. The issue is not doing nothing. It is saying nothing, which is what you do.

“We cannot fail because too many Americans are counting on us to succeed.”

Platitude alert!

Then came the obligatory story about Ted Kennedy.

Is the President so crass as to use Ted Kennedy to get a plan passed? No way, that would be like using children as props. Oh wait, never mind. He does that too.

“At stake are not just the details of policy, but the fundamental policies of social justice and the character of our country.”

Those words from Ted Kennedy are exactly why this plan must be killed. Social justice is code word for destroying productive people.

Mr. Obama then acknowledged Ted Kennedy’s critics before discounting their opinions in his typical polite but dismissive way.

Ted Kennedy was “concerned about the plight of others.”

Except when he was driving them over a bridge. That should never be forgotten.

He then went into the beauty of how government can get things right, such as Social Security and Medicare. He left out that they are both going bankrupt.

“Government could not and should not solve every problem, are not worth the adding constraints on our freedoms.”

Platitude alert!

He bemoaned the lack of civility in politics, forgetting that he blames his predecessor for his own personal failings on the political front.

“We did not come here to fear the future. We came here to shape it.”

Platitude alert!

“I still believe we can replace acrimony with civility.”

Start with yourself and Professor Gates, Mr. President, then work on Van Jones.

I have only one question about his plan.

What is it?

We still have no idea. The details need to be worked out.

If it was mathematically possible, had his speech been twice as long he would have said half of less than nothing.

All hail the First Blatherer in Chief. If he promises to stop talking and actually do something, I will demote him back to First Gasbag in Chief.

Louisiana Representative Charles Boustany delivered the Republican Rebuttal. He is a heart surgeon, which means he actually has something to say. He began by citing the Congressional Budget Office. He pointed out that he actually read the bill that creates “53 new bureaucracies.” This is what we call specifics.

“I performed surgeries on many people who could have been healthier had they made better choices earlier in life.”

He pointed out that real reform must include tort reform.

Mr. Boustany said more in five minutes than the president did in an hour.

Short, sweet, and to the point.

Mr. Obama can’t do it.

Let’s end this on a positive note.

His necktie is still perfect, and if it comes undone, it will be his predecessor’s fault due to Iraq and tax cuts.


2 Responses to “The First Blatherer In Chief Spaketh”

  1. Toma says:

    Good piece eric.

    I did not watch the address I cannot watch or listen to Obama speak. Heck I can’t even bring myself to call him President. I read his words and his words mean nothing, his words have never meant anything. The man speaks with a forked tongue. But his actions speak volumes. What he does defines the man.

    Thomas Sowell wrote a great piece about words. He said in effect, If you listen to the words the words can lead you to the abyss. Watch what the man does not what his words say.

    His actions so far have already defined the man as untrustworthy and conniving. He tries to sell a bill of goods and when no one buys it he tries to offer you a better deal, but it’s still the same bill of goods.

    He is absolutely unbelievable and that fact will not go away. I hope not one American bought his show.


  2. ozarkguru says:

    Agree – I would prefer the “private option.” But then again Obama would not have shared with the world what we already knew – he is an empty suit and a name calling community organizer. This morning, I posted a link to your post in a comment on Sarah Palin’s face book note GRRRR!

    America is in grave danger. Other countries are not ignorant of their potential to shift power in their favor while the United States gov’t focus is shifted off of our enemies from outside our country to making U.S citizens who love freedom and independence from govt’ control the enemy of own country. This situation could precipitate the grave single action from without that could plunge us into chaos .

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