Snookie Saturday

Today is Snookie Saturday.

For those of you who have no idea what I am talking about, don’t worry. I am not sure I have any idea what I am talking about either.

I was watching what I thought was a news program when an entire segment was dedicated to “Snookie.”

I had no idea what, who or why a Snookie was.

Perhaps they meant Snooker. In England they call this game with balls and a felt table snooker. In the former colonies, they call it billiards, or “shooting pool” for slang.

Yet shooting Snookie would be a crime, because she is a person.

I was hoping with Valentine’s Day around the corner that the news was advocating nookie. That I can support. I like nookie with a sweet young cookie any day of the week. Apparently nookie has nothing to do with snookie, although maybe snookie has had nookie. I cannot say.

I know that on television there are constant commercials for the Snuggie. My life was doing just fine before the creation of the Snookie and the invention of the Snuggie. In my day we did not need Snuggies. We had blankets.

(If you are buying Snuggies for your cats and dogs while people worldwide starve, you need a royal @sskicking.)

I was informed that this Snookie person was punched in the face at a bar. I have no idea if she was an innocent victim, or if she mouthed off to the wrong person. Did Snookie get snarky? I know not and care even less.

A guy I went to college with wakes up in the morning, enjoys his own company, and starts the day with a morning prayer reminding him not to do that. His prayer is “Wakey Wakey, hands off Snakey.”

I don’t know if anyone has ever had their hands on Snookie. I had a cookie the other day, but not a Snookie.

At this point some of you are wondering, “why the hell is he talking about this?”

What should I talk about? The Olympics?

This is the first weekend without football, and I am ready to lose my ever loving football mind.

As for this Snookie, I checked Wiki. It only took one clickie, although the bartender made mine a double clickie.

Apparently there is a television show on MTV. MTV stands for Music Television, and when I was a kid, they actually played music. Apparently the videos I like are now on VH1.

The show is called “Jersey Shore,” which is relocating away from the Jersey Shore. As a New Yorker, I am not sure Jersey is even a state. It is more like a province.

Snookie is a “Guidette” who desires to meet a “Guido.” Italian-Americans are protesting the show, saying that it projects negative stereotypes against Italians. I think they are right, but am not an expert.

I will ask conservative comedian Nick Dipaolo for advice on this one. When some Italians complained about the Sopranos, his response was, “If you want to stop negative stereotypes of Italians, get rid of those Olive Garden commercials. I would rather me known as a mob boss who dates strippers and cheats on his wife then a guy who has a business associate 3000 miles for a meeting and takes him to dinner at the Olive Garden.”

I would rather live in a world where the news is more interested in the War on Terror, so that I do not have to lead the war on nonsense.

Then again, maybe I am part of the problem by mentioning it today.

I am declaring “Snookie” to be the new “Smurf.” It can mean whatever they say it means at any given moment. The Smurfs should not be confused with the Snorks, another cartoon show from the 1980s.

If you disagree with me, go Snookie yourself.


6 Responses to “Snookie Saturday”

  1. Jersey Shore gets up to 3.5 million viewers. In all honesty, that concerns me more than terrorism. We are truly a society in decline.


  2. Dav Lev says:

    There are more university students now than ever in the US of A.

    While TV has come a long way, some of the “entertainment” we see
    is, admittedly meant for morons, a “vast wasteland”. But some of the products (and there are thousands yealy) are pretty good, entertaining,
    uplifting, creative and intelligent.

    I like to watch most especially Charlie Rose, who I know is a liberal
    with an agenda, but I watch him anyway to learn what the “other” side
    is thinking and doing. He has shows about the brain, which I think should be must watching for everyone.

    Let’s admit that most of the sports games are a waste of idle time.
    I mean 2 years from now no one will remember the NFL campion
    and why should they? All that was accomplished were two groups
    of really big men throwing a ball up the field, while bashing and
    smashing one another, sometimes causing serious injuries.

    I recall watching the Dodgers 2 years ago, when the pitcher was hit
    on the head after he threw a pitch. He fell to the ground and had to
    have a plate put in his head. All this just for the teams to run around
    3 bases going no where.

    But it’s entertainment, a relief from the daily worries that we all have
    one way or another.

    Most movies are horrible and money losers. Yet 10 movies are up
    academy awards this year. Personally I liked Inglorious Bastards enough
    to give it a few awards. It’s a fantasy and shows Jews not being gassed or otherwise killed, but doing the killing. (In fact, many Jews, over 600,000 fought for the Allies during that war. Several of my relatives were in the Rhineland and Guam…and the Battle of the Bulge. They did some
    really nastry things to some really nasty Japs and Germans. That was war.
    A bad taste still lingers in their mouths about what they saw.
    This was no fantasy.

    But in our society (unlike Iran) we are free to read what the heck we want. I purchase book, but used to take books out of the local libraries.
    I like sci-fi and adventure..but try to keep up to date on political issues to keep informed.

    My readings have pushed me into the moderate Republican camp…whichI promote here and elsewhere. My attitude is that if I can convert one person to the RIGHT, (but not extreme) I have done my job.

    So, as far as Jersey Shore, good for them. Maybe we should have
    a program called Hollywood Shore, taping along Melrose Avenue and
    Santa Monica Blvds for more diversity.

  3. “There are more university students now than ever in the US of A.”

    That’s because there are more PEOPLE than ever. We have an educational CRISIS in this country. We have a 30% high school drop-out rate. Of those drop-outs, 50% come from our 50 biggest cities. We are neglecting our children – and our cities.

    “Let’s admit that most of the sports games are a waste of idle time.
    I mean 2 years from now no one will remember the NFL campion
    and why should they?”

    OUCH! Hey, even among the most educated nations, sports are popular. And the great thing about the NFL is that it is the headiest of all sports. You can’t be a moron and really understand football. Sports are a great release, and a great mental stimulai. I have a close friend who, while he was growing up, even though he wasn’t very educated about most things, could remember in detail that stats and stories of pretty much every team and every player in the three major US sports – baseball, football and basketball (not hockey,though – hockey really is idiotic ;). He was also a great all-round player of all three sports, though injuries kept hiom from ever taking it to the upper eschelons of sport. All grown up now, he’s doing great. That ability to absord and work hard at things he really takes interest in has paid off for him in life. That’s another great thing about sports – especially team sports: they inculcate a love of teamwork, loyalty, hard working ethic, appreciation of your fellow man, working through defeat and pain, leadership, and many other things.

    I would NEVER lump sports in with crappy “reality” TV!

    As for Jersey Shore, it is just yet more evidence of the decline of America. No, NOT “good for them.” They are trash. They didn’t “earn” anything. They’re just acting like trash and making money for it. You want to see trash? Watch Jerry Springer. At least those people aren’t getting paid mega-bucks for being trash.


  4. Micky 2 says:

    Isnt Jersey from… Jersey ? :-)

    Shouldnt this be titled “Nookie Sunday” ?

  5. Micky 2 says:

    “We have an educational CRISIS in this country. ”

    Maybe if we taught them some math and English instead of how to save a friggin tree or how to put on a condom.
    My boy only went to school 3 days this week. Teachers deserve to be paid well but at thesame time need to stop using the union to rape the taxpayers. Now we have”furlough Fridays’ and every other week some BS reason for the kids not to be there. If the state needs to save money lets not do it at the expense of our kids education. They’re gonna have to make some serious bucks in their adulthood to pay off this morons debts and deficits

  6. Well, fortunately I was born in Brooklyn, so maybe the Jersey Gene hasn’t corrupted me as much! ;) I’m used to Jersey being the butt of all jokes. I love when Fred Armisen does Governor Paterson goofing on NJ on SNL!

    I think people who think that political correctness, or sex-ed, or environmentalism are serious causes of any problems in the real world are being stupid. The biggest problem we have with education in the US is best examplified by the ridiculous stupidity of the Texas school board. Educations should NOT be a democracy. Our schools should NOT be run by idiotic, conflicted parents and pandering, unscholarly local pols. Our schools should be run by teachers and scholars. We need to get rid of this stupid, unproductive, patently proven failed, local, democratic system. IOt is yet another uniquely American failure.


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