Blame my readership

Today is a day for me to blame my readers.

While this might not be a smart growth strategy, it fits in with my tradition of doing whatever I d@mn well please whenever I d@mn well please, which is always.

The other day I wrote a lust fueled tale of my unsuccessful pursuit of the Goddess of beauty Rebecca Kleefisch. She is the Lieutenant Governor of Wisconsin and one of the hottest women in politics.

A precious few of you complained that writing sexually charged pieces lowers what is often a well written blog dealing with serious political issues in a dignified manner.

For those wondering why I throw in those gratuitous lusty pieces, the answer is very simple.

It drives blog traffic into the stratosphere.

People claim they would rather watch serious hard news. Then they spend hours focusing on useless imbeciles like the Jersey Shore, Charlie Sheen, Anna Nicole Smith, and others that contribute absolutely nothing necessary to this world.

Libya matters. Wisconsin matters. Election 2012 matters.

Lady Blah Blah Goo Goo Ga Ga does not matter. The ladies on the View do not matter.

The struggle between quality and ratings never goes away.

I did a serious interview with Fox News military analyst Ralph Peters. I also did an interview with Fox News analyst Andrea Tantaros. Guess who is still driving blog traffic?

It is not Colonel Peters, who is only discussing how to save the entire world from Islamofascism. I guess that is too boring for some of you. Yet for all of you who typed in “Andrea Tantaros breasts,” congratulations. You found my blog and there was one g-rated picture of her.

I do not have naked pictures of Sarah Palin or Michele Bachmann on my blog. I have never even tried to find naked pictures of either of these dignified political women. Yet I know that my blog traffic just went through the roof because perverts out there are typing out the words “naked Palin” or “naked Bachmann” and hitting the search button. You make me ill.

This entire week was dedicated for the most part to serious issues of domestic and foreign policy in Wisconsin and Libya respectively.

Yet the day I lusted after Lt. Governor Kleefisch was the day my blog traffic exploded.

Every June 21st I put out my beginning of Summer column dealing with the 30 hottest women in politics. Yet I call it the Top 120 political yummy bouncies because I know that yummy bouncies drives ratings.

In fact, Howard Stern made a career out of discussing lesbians because in his words “lesbians equals ratings.”

So thank you dear readers for again publicly claiming you want high brow while privately typing in low brow search items that you seem to think I don’t see.

Oh, and for those of you typing in stuff about bestiality or necrophilia, that is just vile. I have never discussed this stuff on my blog ever.

So if you want to read about Libya and Wisconsin, demand it. If you want to read about Joy Behar and Snookie in a threesome with a goat, you are leading to the dumbing down of America.

I love my readers, but I am under no illusions that too many of them say the right things publicly but search rather bizarre things privately.

I beg of you not to try and search the internet for adult videos featuring a South Dakota Congresswoman and a vertically challenged lawn ornament entitled “Kristi Noem and the Gnome.”

It doesn’t exist.

Can we please raise the dignity of everything?

If you readers give me higher blog traffic for important topics, you will be rewarded with higher quality.

Until then, between all of the serious pieces will be my fantasies about Monique from Showtime at the Apollo.

She is big, black, bouncy, beautiful, and great for ratings even larger than her spectacular (redacted).


3 Responses to “Blame my readership”

  1. Be careful with that whole “driving traffic” thing. In and of it self, it’s harmless. But you may well regret it one day. You know I get bored and disappointed with the boys’-talk “lust” stuff. I want to debate politics. I’m good at it, too. It’s a shame you do not enegage more with your Tygrrrr readers, as you do from your other venues. That’s what I would hopefully and respectfully “demand.” On the other hand, I love your take on football and the funny social commentary you do, so maybe I’m just being picky.


  2. Micky 2 says:

    Easy man, I’ve been with you since day one.
    Some guy in the service referred me to you on your first day.
    But seriously, is there not a guy out there that didn’t look up the biggest set of hooters he could find with his computer on the first day ?

    Jerseys right.
    Its pretty cool when you get in the fray with your readers
    I miss you ripping on the idiots.

  3. Micky 2 says:

    Jersey, you need a new avatar/pic.
    You look like a constipated “Weeman”

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