What Republicans have already won

In one week the 2010 Elections will take place, and the conventional wisdom has the Republicans cleaning the Democrats clocks. Liberals are scurrying like little rats jumping ship to get away from the failed unpopular president and the even less popular Pelosiraptor.

This could be a bigger Republican wave than 1994, with over 100 house seats in play.

Republicans are energized, Democrats are demoralized, and the left is resorting to their typical hysteria.

Some are saying that Republicans have already won.

Let me announce to the world what Republicans have already won.

(Grabbing a megaphone and screaming loudly into it.)


Absolutely nothing!

Let me reiterate…nothing!

Every right of center American voter had better be prepared to fight like a lion in a steel cage. This election is far from over. If we get complacent, we will get our hides kicked.

George Soros is pouring millions into this election through various front groups.

The liberal money laundering (Democrats do it, yet claim conservatives do it) will make the Mafia blush.

The left is about to spend the final 7 days in the worst search and destroy politics of destruction known to man. They will scorch the Earth.

What they did to George W. Bush, Sarah Palin, and Christine O’Donnell was child’s play compared to what they have coming.

Republicans had better be prepared to be have their faces super-imposed with Hitler, Stalin, and Pol Pot.

The Wikileaks papers were released to have the media talking about President Bush, Vice President Cheney, and Iraq instead of failed liberal policies.

Al Gore broke the Bush drunk driving scandal 4 days before the 2000 election when George W. Bush had a 5 point lead. In 2004 President Bush was pulling away from John Kerry when fake but accurate memos thankfully backfired on Dan Rather, Mary Mapes, and the Jayon Blair Times.

Nothing is safe until the election is over, and even then nothing is safe.

Liberal Democrat Christine Gregoire stole the Washington Governor’s race.

Liberal Democrat Al Franken stole the Minnesota Senate race.

Liberal Democrat Al Gore tried and almost succeeded in stealing the 2000 Presidency.

100,000 lawyers will be dispatched throughout this country to disqualify military ballots and include liberal votes by felons and illegal aliens, as well as children and dead people.

The toxically liberal 9th Circuit Court of Appeals has overturned an Arizona law requiring proof of citizenship for voting.


The left will lie, cheat, and steal.

Black Panther Malik Shabazz will have his baseball bat prepared to intimidate conservative voters, as Eric Holder and Barack Obama turn a blind eye. Voter intimidation used to be done by whites toward minorities. This return vengeance will be seen as justified, since helping liberals is always a greater good.

Republicans need to win every race by at least 5 points to have a chance of winning those races.

Republicans with 30 point leads are up by 5 points. Republicans with 5 point leads are down by 20. We must have that attitude.

We have won nothing so far.

The left will have the media. They will complain about Fox News, but they have every other television news outlet on Earth. They will complain about talk radio while National Palestinian Radio shills for them.

Some people will say I am paranoid. I would rather be paranoid than foolhardy. Also, it is not paranoia when they really are out to get you, and the left really does want to destroy conservatives and grind them into dust clouds.

There are 435 Republicans running for house seats. At least 1 of them is right now carrying on an adulterous affair, most likely with somebody under age. If you are that person, your best friend needs to take you in a  back alley, beat the daylights out of you, and make sure you knock it off so as not to ruin things for everybody else.

There are still 7 days for Republicans to blow this. We could screw it up from within.

So for those Tea Party supporters and other conservatives stuck with moderate Republican candidates…Fall into line!

For those moderates stuck with candidates more conservative than they are…Fall into line!

Everybody on the right get to the polls. I don’t care if it is 0 degrees. It is your fault for living in that climate. Go vote, and drag your conservative friends to the polling places.

The National Federation of Republican Women is making thousands of phone calls. Help them.

Tea Party groups are holding rallies all across America. Join them.

Conservative bloggers need to be on red (state) alert. We can sleep next week.

We still have time to lose this election.

We cannot let that happen.

Everything is at stake.

We can also still win this election, perhaps by a big margin.

As of this moment, we have won absolutely nothing.

Until we win, we are losing. We can be confident, but never cocky.

We have been arrogant and gotten full of ourselves. We have been ruthlessly punished for it.

Whatever happens next Tuesday, we will deserve it.

So Republicans, conservatives, and Tea Party people had better keep fighting to the finish.

Be prepared for a gutter street fight. It will be ugly.

Liberal bullies do not go away until they are forced to leave.

They will not go quietly. They will unleash rage the likes civilization has never seen.

They will resort to violence, keying cars, stealing lawn signs, and shoving conservatives to the ground and beating them. They will then accuse 80 year old conservative ladies in wheelchairs of the violence.

Conservatives had better be prepared to be dehumanized.

It is going to get vicious and ugly, even by liberal standards, an oxymoron if there ever was one.

They will burn the entire village. We had better be ready.

7 days to go.

Let’s get to work conservatives.

We have won nothing yet, but if we work our guts out, we will win, and win big.


One Response to “What Republicans have already won”

  1. Jeez, I hope you really don’t believe all that stuff – for the sake of your mental health!


    538, the most accurate prognosticator of American elections, has the GOP ending up with 48 Senate seats, 230 House seats, and 30 governorships. A majority state Houses and Senates will be in GOP hands as well.

    That’s a pretty big victory no matter how you parse it.

    The relentless attacks on the President over the past two years have worked. The GOP base is highly energized (with fear and hate, as usual). The Democratic base is demoralized, once again disappointed that a Dem majority couldn’t get anough done. Independents, the key to any election, have largely been won over by the Right.

    So, be happy, guys. Stop frothing at the mouth for once, will ya’?


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