Hal Levine 2011

Today is the Jewish holiday of Hal Levine, or as the non-Jews call it, Halloween.

The name Hal Levine was created by my former Jewish university where I attended college. They called it Hal Levine because they thought the Jewish students would be too dumb to know that made it ok to celebrate a pagan holiday. Actually most of them were.

Last year Halloween was a true nightmare. My girlfriend and I got in a fight and broke up that night. It was an acrimonious hostile breakup, and we were both better off going in different directions. Yet she used to quote the Dalai Llama and say that “the purpose of our lives is to be happy.” So I hope this Hal Levine finds her in a state of happiness.

For me, happiness means being with my friends. I drove yesterday from Des Moines, Iowa to Chicago, Illinois, a 6 hour drive, or in my case (allegedly) about 4 hours.

Today has me flying from Chicago to my home in Los Angeles, driving to see my friends, and attending the freak show in West Hollywood. Normally I have a girlfriend and we do matching costumes. This year I am flying solo, and I honestly do not know what costume I will break out. After sleeping in my own bed tonight the next day is a plane to Florida.

So a precious few hours in Los Angeles is just enough time to enjoy Halloween.

The whole point of Halloween is for men to enjoy young, attractive women of legal age and higher dressed as salaciously as possible. The trick is to get these French maids, lady cops, and Playboy bunnies to wear those costumes throughout the year and not just October 31st. In that sense women are a work in progress.

Anyway, here are some musings from Hal Levine’s past.





For those who choose to dress up like Occupy Wall Street protesters, just understand that the Monster Mash is more than a traditional Halloween song. Some monsters deserve to get mashed.

See you in November.

Happy Halloween, Hal Levine, and Hobgoblin hunting.


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