Yummy Bouncie Medical Saturday

There comes a time when a man has to do the right thing for the wrong reasons.

I have decided to become a champion of women’s rights.

The Democratic party, which for decades has been pretending that it cares about women, has decided to take them back to the dark ages of…well, whenever that was.

A liberal wack job in Florida got elected to Congress by claiming what most liberals claim, that most Republicans simply want people to die.

At least the Democrats are now willing to tell women that they can go ahead and drop dead.

The issue deals with those phenomenal God made creations known as yummy bouncies. When not thinking of hamburgers and football, my attention turns to one of the loveliest aspects of the human female.

(The woman below is as titillating as she is married. How unfair. She is a Republican Jewish brunette. Also, it is impossible to discuss this topic without the word titillating.)

http://www.fitsnews.com/2009/10/30/drunk-sluts-get-breast-cancer/

Breast cancer kills women. Early detection saves lives. In the first sign of rationing health care and death panels, women are being told, with regards to prevention, in the immortal words of Gilda Radner as Roseanne Rosannadanna, “Never mind.”

What possible reason could the government have for telling women to forget about breast cancer before age 50 and to get tested every other year instead of every year?

(Harry Reid said something in a press conference that I am deliberately and completely taking out of context because it sounds hilarious.

“We have plenty of provisions for women. We are going to make them better on the floor.”

Wow, who knew that C-Span was turning into the Playboy Channel?)

What is it about saving lives that is so objectionable?

More importantly, why should I care?

Because I like yummy bouncies, and if women shouted out that they loved my (redacted) and wanted them to be preserved and healthy, I would be appreciative.

Some guys take yummy bouncies for granted. I don’t. The bottom line is we do not appreciate what we have, or are allowed to temporarily have, if it is taken away from us.

I recently got to play with a girl’s yummy bouncies. They were awesome. Even though we did not make it as a couple, I thanked her for the recreational game of volleyball.

Now could I do this if she no longer had them? Of course not.

Now some women will think I am a male chauvinist oinker looking for an excuse to talk about women’s yummy bouncies.

To these women, they should shut up and be grateful that I am talking about this subject, because beneath all the sophomoric lusting is the fact that women will die if they do not get educated on the facts.

Tom Green once wrote a song dedicated to men called, “Play with your balls, or else you’ll get cancer.” If that gets people to spend intimate moments with themselves in the name of medicine, I say keep singing.

So, ladies, even if I never reap the benefits of getting to see, touch, or taste, make sure to rub and bounce those things for your own sake.

Do it for yourselves. You want to live.

If you won’t do it for yourselves, do it for me.

For those of you who will be on Spring Break in Florida, I look forward to seeing you happy, jiggly, bouncy…and most importantly, alive and healthy.

No need to thank me for this public service announcement. The pleasure is all mine.

Happy Yummy Bouncie Medical Saturday

eric

Miami Dolphins at Carolina Panthers

Washington Redskins at Dallas Cowboys

Cleveland Browns at Detroit Lions

San Francisco 49ers at Green Bay Packers

Pittsburgh Steelers at Kansas City Chiefs

Atlanta Falcons at NY Giants

New Orleans Saints at Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Buffalo Bills at Jacksonville Jaguars

Indianapolis Colts at Baltimore Ravens

Seattle Seahawks at Minnesota Vikings

Arizona Cardinals at St. Louis Rams

NY Jets at New England Patriots

Cincinnati Bengals at Oakland Raiders

San Diego Chargers at Denver Broncos

Philadelphia Eagles  at Chicago Bears

eric

9 Responses to “Yummy Bouncie Medical Saturday”

  1. The USPSTF recommends guidelines for preventative medicine. Their study – involving health cost/benefit, not money in any way – showed that healthy women at low risk for breast cancer should probably wait until 50 instead of 40 to begin annual or biannual mammograms. Teabaggers and the rest of screaming loony Right began shouting “RATIONING!!! AAAAAAA!!!” Never mind that private insurers ration all the time – and most certainly not with the best interest of the people’s health in mind. Just the same, to placate the hypocritical screaming loonies, HHS Secretary Sebelius announced that they would ignore the study and keep the prior guidelines in place. Private insurers have promised to keep to the old guidelines as well, as it is currently in their political interest. So, the whole thing is moot for now, and adolescent misogynists have nothing to fear for cougar boobs. If only they really cared. All this phony complaining about this study, from a bunch of hypocrites who don’t give a rats @$$ about the millions of women who do without insurance and can’t afford regular mammography. Amazing.

    JMJ

  2. Micky 2 says:

    “Secretary Sebelius announced that they would ignore the study and keep the prior guidelines in place.”

    Anyone with an ounce of honesty knows that this was only after the uproar that made it obvious how freeking stupid an idea it was.

    “the millions of women who do without insurance and can’t afford regular mammography. Amazing.”

    Its called medicade or medicare.
    Its not moot.

    Be nice if someone could explain the compassion we see on the left for choice when it comes to mammorgams and pap smears.
    The majority are more worried about their abortions than anything.

    If anything it just goes to show what a lousy sense of timing this administration has. To announce something like this at this time was about as dumb as gets. If you dont want to look like you’re rationing then dont mention what sounds like rationing right in the middle of the heaviest debate on healthcare ever.
    Idiots.

    Besides, almost all doctors will tell you they dont go by these guidelines. They go on a case by case basis depending on many factors.
    Fed manged healthcare will eliminate that relationship between the patient and the doctor as the fed paying the doctor will be required to adhere to the guidelines.
    Theres been a huge surgeance in veneral warts among our teens in the last 10 years. One of the main couses of cancer in womesn reproductive organs. I have a feeling someone knows this is going to be eating up a huge amount of resources in the future so why not set up some walls now ?

    “If only they really cared. All this phony complaining about this study, from a bunch of hypocrites who don’t give a rats @$$ about the millions of women who do without insurance and can’t afford regular mammography. Amazing.”

    If you knew what you were talking about you’d realize that a major and significant portion of those complaints came from the left.
    But as I said, when their abortions are threatened to not be paid for by everyone boy do they ever scream loud.

    And by the way, if you’re going to continue professing to be such an advocate for highbrow rhetoric on the left stop calling us “teabaggers”.
    It just makes you sound like a hypocrite.
    We all like to label people but in a political debate that label should be of a political nature.
    Not some sex act.
    Unless it comes to abortions where its clearly the irresponsible sex act that got you there.
    Or thinking because you fancy a mans rump you’ve got extra rights

    🙂

  3. Dav Lev says:

    Breast cancer is a serious matter, even among males.

    I relative told me that he had discovered a lump..and it was removed.
    I never knew men had lumps there?

    I wonder what the thinking is about men examing themselves. Should
    they be examined every two years, after 40 or 50 or when regularly?
    What if they don’t have insurance?

    A friend had a high PSA count. He had several bi-ops…and then another
    type of test. A high PSA indicates something may be wrong, but not
    necessarily cancer. The 2nd test is just the opposite..one wants a high
    total. If low, that doesn’t mean cancer however.

    Then there is the problem with what if, what if, one does have cancer
    in the gland? I read two alternatives..do nothing..and hope it is
    slow moving, or do one of several remedies..including a full removal.
    That can create additional problems.

    Years ago, a relative noticed I was waking up during the night.
    He advised me that I had to remove the gland. He also
    said it would not interfere with any other normal functions.

    I learned that I had an infection..that’s all. A few Cipros and it
    went away, no surgery needed for that, fur sure. As far as his
    prognosis (his diagnosis was way off) that also was incorrect.
    Removal of the gland can cause other maladies..which interfere
    with one’s sex life, unless you are the liberal Bill Clinton and his
    whore, Monica.

    So be careful about diagnosis and prognosis fellow posters and readers.

    As far as breast cancer..I know of 3 cases wherein the females, after
    discovering same, all died, terrible deaths. Two were in their early 50s,
    the other about 29.

    Perhaps it’s good to be overly cautious whether one is a Democrat,
    Republican, Independent or non-affilated.

    As far as some women who don’t have insurance…there are clinics..
    also one should check in at UCLA..I understand they will treat anyone
    w/o insurance who cannot afford the high doctor fees.

    Please confirm for me someone.

    I do know this, I am way beyond the age of having testicular cancer and
    since I never have smoked..my chances of lung cancer are much less.

    BTW, I have a friend who has COPD, from smoking….don’t. It gets
    worse with age. He is constantly running to the nearest hospital when
    he cannot breath. (We all warned him to stop smoking to no avail).

    Off the subject…a brilliant (Jewish) scientist whose parents were Polish immigrants, died at the age of 75. He was born in the USA. He was employed at UCLA and famous
    for his work on how the body’s immune system fights it’s own tissues.
    He worked on proteins and the immune system. He was affiliated with the Geffen School of Medicine there.

    Two things struck me immediately. First, his parents were Polish Jews who
    left Poland prior to WW2, unlike 3.5m others..most of whom perished in Auschwitz, and Treblinka. 1.5m little Jewish children were gassed, shot, thrown into fire pits while still alive, and experimented upon..those that didn’t die of starvation.

    Had his parents remained in Poland..well it’s not difficult to know the
    result..and effect on our immune systems.

    Secondly, he was affiliated with the Geffen School. Geffen is Jewish,
    as far as I know. Isn’t he connected to Spielberg’s enterprises?

    BTW, anyone see Saving Private Ryan the other night..? It shows
    war in its gory reality. (My uncle was part of that operation..invading
    France, then onto Belgium and finally the German Rhineland. He tells
    me, both the GIs and Germans were animals.

    My uncle was a very proud Jew, who evened the score with more than one
    NAZI. ( Shades of Inglorious Bastards ). I mean he was tougher than
    nails., unlike some of the liberals today who condone Palestinian Jihad.

    Which brings me to another point, why are Jews apologizing for
    Palestinian war crimes? Why is a Jew named Goldstone ready
    to indict Israel for daring to defend itself against the history of
    12,000 rockets fired by Hamas and others?

    Are we our own worst enemies?

    I mean, what Arab would indict his (her) own Volk? Name one, can anybody?

    Funny, but I have yet to learn of one Arab who emulated that (above mentioned) Jewish scientist in immunology?

    Can anyone tell me?

    Hey guys, the latest news from Congress is that at least
    one leading Congressman is considering opening an investigation
    whether Hasan acted alone, or whether he had links to 911 and
    that radical cleric now living abroad.

    This is one to follow folks.

    What the heck, who cares about the 13 shot for wanting
    to help their fellow GIs with psychiatric problems by an Islamic-fascist.

    Am I mad, yu betcha.

  4. Micky, there are millions of women who do not qualify for Medicare or Medicaid, work or are unemployed, and can not afford regular mammograms. The fact that you don’t know that shows just how utterly ignorant the Right is of the plight of millions of their fellow Americans. I have a theory – a conservative is a person who takes a conservative position on everything they’ve never experienced.

    And for some more ignorance?

    “Besides, almost all doctors will tell you they dont go by these guidelines. They go on a case by case basis depending on many factors.”

    Yeah, right. I’ll tell you what factor they go by: WHAT INSURANCE WILL PAY FOR.

    We have rationing NOW. It’s called PRIVATE HEALTH INSURANCE.

    The greatest irony in this whol recent flap is that the public outcry held the public authorities accountable and got their way. In other words, if healthcare was truly universal and public, the PEOPLE, and not the insurance companies, would truly have their say in matters of their health. Yet again more proof that universal “single-payer” healthcare is the best system for all. (And then Dan Lev can spend all his time researching the Holocaust and Islamic conspiracy theories and never have to worry about his premiums…)

    JMJ

  5. Micky 2 says:

    “Micky, there are millions of women who do not qualify for Medicare or Medicaid, work or are unemployed, and can not afford regular mammograms.”

    If they dont qualify then they are most likely not US citizens bro.
    I’m not ignorant at all bro. I just went thru my own bout with cancer and can tell you most assuredly what the deal is. I’ve spoken to many people in the last half year, all in many different predicaments but still getting the care they need.

    “We have rationing NOW. It’s called PRIVATE HEALTH INSURANCE.”

    Medicare and medicaid reject 40 to 50% more claims than private insurance.
    FACT.

    “Yeah, right. I’ll tell you what factor they go by: WHAT INSURANCE WILL PAY FOR.”

    No, on the contrary its you whos ignorance is astounding as you dont know that medicaid and medicare reject twice as many claims as private insurers.
    Sooooo… you’re right, we do have rationing.
    The fact is that any doctor will tell you, regardless of what the insurance companies policies are the case with the patient must come under consideration before any claim is submitted to the insurance company.
    First you diagnose the patient, then you submit to the insurance company your claim for procedure.
    Its at that point the insurance company will let you know if its a go or no go.
    As in the case with the fed, the guidelins prevent you from even getting that far.
    As I mentioned we have an outbreak of venerial warts among our adolescents and young adults. These are the same warts that gave me my cancer. This is why I’s so knowledgable to the isue. So now with the surgence of this epidemic the fed conveniently says that those women under 21 dont need pap smears or uteral exams ?
    Gimme a break.
    They’re trying to scrounge up buck at every opportunity. Its only obvious.
    The American cancer society has already come out saying these guidelines are ridiculous.

    ” a conservative is a person who takes a conservative position on everything they’ve never experienced.”

    I have a better theory thats been put to fact.

    The left will keep repeating the same mantra as a form of mental masturbation in order to make themselves feel good about theselves. It truly does make one blind becuase how can you say that knowing I just went thru cancer myself ?

    I’ve had plenty of say so in the way my care has gone. I’ve been given many options by my insurance company with very few limitations.
    If you had a freeking clue you’d realize that whether or not its private insurance or public there will always be costs to maintain.
    I’d much rather have a company behind me thats incentivised by actually having to be responsible for the dollars they take in and to make more out of them.
    The fed has no obligation to running anything with any sense of frugality as all they have to do is TAX us some more when things start getting a little rough. Well guess what ?
    Unlike you who said thats the big answer in your previous post the general public is letting these liberal jerks know that NO ! They cannot tax us anymore than they already are so what are they doing ?
    Feeling their way thru the rationing process to see what will fly with the general public and what wont.
    Looks like mammograms and pap smears are off the list buddy.

    Wise up.

    “The fact that you don’t know that shows just how utterly ignorant the Right is of the plight of millions of their fellow Americans. ”

    Hmm, ignorance ?

    How bout the ignorance of the left that doesnt seem to want to accept the fact that the majority of the country does not want the public option.

    How bout the ignorance of the left that thinks we will pay for their abortions.

    How bout the ignorance that says the right has no solutions ? If you cant see the many solutions offered by the critics then one might begin to wonder what liberals consider “plausible” or “fact” for that matter.
    This crap that the right has no alternative solutions is just that… crap.
    A load concocted by the moonbats that the liberal media is only too happy to reinforce by omitting whats really going on.
    All one had to do to put this bull to rest today was to watch the healthcare debates on C-Span today. Theres good counters to the dems propositions and many great solutions coming from conservatives if you just listen up.
    Just dont count on the MSM to let you know what they are.

    How bout the ignorance of the left that thinks after medicade and medicare came in ten years later at 7 to 800 times over budget ( 9 billion turned into 900 billion) they are actually trying to convince us guys that this senate version of the healthcare bill will be deficit and debt nuetral.
    Hahahahahahaha !
    I swear, thats the best one of all.

    How bout the ignorance of the left that says we have 37 million without healthcare so we need to insure the whole damn country…go figure.

    How bout the ignorance of the left that wants to tax the everloving crap out of us for 5 years before the program is even available.

    How bout the ignorance of the left that claims to care so much about its fellow man but wants to cut half a trillion dollars from seniors medicade to pay for this.

    How bout your ignorant president that said its better to take the pain meds instead of wasting money on keeping granma alive ?

    Try again buddy.
    And this time try submitting something of substance containing some kind of respectful relativity besides your flatulated opinions and assertions.
    You guys are lose either way with this bill. You never should of brought it up.
    If it does become law the backlash from the right, moderates and conservative dems will kill you guys for a long time to come. If you dont pass it you’ll lose so much of you base your party wont even be recognizable.

  6. Micky, you, my friend, are cold. Frigid, freezing, cold.

    JMJ

  7. blacktygrrrr says:

    I hate it when a discussion about yummy bouncies turns into a political discussion. What is this, a political blog?

    Also, I added a link from a blogger much more ruthless than me.

    eric 🙂

  8. Micky 2 says:

    No Jersey.
    I’m actually very compassionate for the majority of this country and not using just a few misfortunates for my escalation to power.
    From my experience when one attacks his opponents level of compassion it usually means his argument aint worth a damn.

    For the sake of the entire country seeing the position were in now any bill of this size that goes to doing so much damage and costs so much that we cant afford is quite possibly the dumbest damn thing weve ever done.
    Even if the bill could work we just cant afford to do it right now. So what you should do is focus on those 37 million you’re all belly aching about and not worry about this huge boondogle of insuring the entire country.
    Its insane, the people dont want it, the numbers dont jive no matter how you present them. Its all BS and anyone with half a brain and any sense of honesty could tell you that.

  9. Micky 2 says:

    “I hate it when a discussion about yummy bouncies turns into a political discussion. What is this, a political blog?”

    If bouncies were presented to my face in the middle of any political debate you can rest assured I would concede, forfeit and step away from the keyboard for theres far greater peace of mind in having a piece of your mind between the two instead of wrestling with one.

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