THE TYGRRRR EXPRESS

Before getting to New Hampshire…

TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY! YAY ME! LONG LIVE JANUARY 9TH!

Ok, so once a year I am entitled to a little irrational exuberance.

I am now 36. 18 is a lucky number in Jewish culture, and multiples of 18 are blessed. So I am twice lucky.

I am in New York right now, and technically I am 35 in Los Angeles for 3 more hours, but I am born and raised in New York. I celebrate New Years Eve at 9pm in LA instead of midnight. So therefore, I am 36. If I were to use the birth minute, I would actually have another 18 hours, but that is too complicated, and growing older gracefully is the order of the day. Plus, I am still stunningly smart and handsome.

I am also cut off from much of civilization, given that parts of Brooklyn near Coney Island make Afghanistan seem modern. I am twice as lucky to be separated from the madness.

As awful as events in the United States have been in the last 24 hours, what is scary is how dependent all people are on the outside world. So many things have happened, and I have missed them by a country mile.

Out of nowhere, I was instructed to go to New York on business. When in New York, I stay with my 99 year old grandmother. I love her dearly, and am thrilled that she has her faculties. She has her vision and her hearing, knows who I am, and I enjoy spending time with her, knowing that most people do not have the luck of having family for that long.

I heard that the stock market dropped over 250 points yesterday, but I did not have a chance to catch the business channel. My grandmother only gets 5 or 6 channels. She has never had cable, much less satellite. She and I were watching Wheel of Fortune for a few minutes, and then switched to some movie with Barry Bostwick. His wife was cheating on him, and then she killed him…I think. I have my grandmother’s gift for falling asleep while watching television. We had group nap time. We also both woke up around the same time, around 10pm. She went back to bed, and I stayed up to blog.

I wanted to follow the New Hampshire Primary returns, but without Fox News, CNN, or even that vast wasteland MSNBC, I had to try and find local news coverage that looked better than snow on her massive 13 inch set. After watching the equivalent of Ron Burgundy in “Anchorman,” eventually the local yokels reported some actual news.

Forget the republicans. It will all be forgotten about with minutes. The news, not that I can watch it, will now be all Hillary all the time.

I am glad I missed the coverage. Rooting against Hillary is like rooting against the New England Patriots. It is pointless. I have said from the very beginning that she would win no matter what. Ed Muskie fights back tears, he is seen as a crybaby, and his campaign implodes. Hillary does the same, and women flock to her. I mean she showed a human side…let’s reward her. After all, there is no way that a cold, calculating, scripted woman could have coldly calculated such a scripted heartwarming moment.

Are women that stupid that they will fall for such a ploy? Of course they are. Ask any woman that forgives a cheating husband. Anybody that says women are smarter than men need to have their heads removed from their hides and examined.

Women have book smarts. Men have street smarts. Unfortunately, women make up 55% of America, so a person with no personality, a tin ear, and a few placed crocodile tears can bamboozle just enough people.

Men are not fooled by Hillary. It doesn’t matter. When Hillary cried, you would think that she was Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Lucretia Mott, rather than an enabler who has done more to hurt women as she and her husband have stepped over them to get to the top. Hillary is not a crusader for all women. She is a crusader for herself. Yes, an entire gender vaccilates between stupidity and willful blindness.

As for Obama, I deliberately kept my hopes down because I somehow have myself convinced that the Clintons will not lose. They can’t. I don’t know how they do it, but every time they seem down for the count, they pull out another political miracle.

True, the democrats of New Hampshire are a bunch of dipsticks, but that does not matter. Hillary will wrap herself in the mantle of a fighter and a comeback kid, and four years from now candidates will grovel at the feet of 32 imbeciles from Dix Hills Notch. Thousands of reporters will report about it. The only thing that could make the event any more pathetic would be if the New Hampshire Primary was moved to Groundhog Day so that the reporters can choose which act of nonsense they can fawn over, Punxatawney Phil or Punxatawney Hill.

I said from the very beginning that the media wanted to create fake excitement, but when all was said and done, the favorites would win. Obama, you are a nice kid, but even Oprah can’t help you on this one. All the polls had Hillary down. It did not matter. All it did was embolden her supporters.

This was not just a chance to drive a stake through the heart of Vampiress Clinton. It was a chance to eliminate New Hampshire, or at least reduce it to no more than a place with second rate chowder. Yeah, I said it, the red Manhattan style tastes better. Hillary would have won the nomination anyway, but at least then people would have said that Iowa and New Hampshire are irrelevant. Now we will not be able to be free of her or that useless state.

Some will hold out hopes that since women flocked to Hillary, black America will flock to Obama in South Carolina. To quote New Englander Steven Tyler of Aerosmith, “Dream On.” Between Bill Clinton and John Edwards, black America already has two champions. Obama is the candidate of guilty white liberals, and they are not as powerful in South Carolina.

The reason why this is so important to me, is because with Obama it is political. I disagree with him on issues. With Hillary, it is more personal. I find her and her husband, but especially her, to simply be awful individuals. She disgusts me. Her election would be poison for this country because she would use the White House to settle scores. People are her friend or enemy. There is no middle ground. She could not govern, because too many people despise her. She would blame them, but at some point she has to acknowledge that her image as an unlikable person is not entirely undeserved.

https://tygrrrrexpress.com/2007/08/hillaryplease-god-no/

She cannot and will not ever do this. She was so close to being humbled. She was so close to acknowledging that she was wrong. Now…that is a pipe dream. She was right all along, and everybody who bet against her has learned their lesson.

Obama will be pressured to drop out at some point for the sake of unity. Edwards will rail, and nobody will listen.

As for me, I am relieved I did not watch the returns. It would have sickened me before the one day I want to be in a good mood. The last awful birthday I had was when I turned 24. Ironically, that was the last time I was in New York for my birthday. I had planned to stay for one week, and be back in LA for my birthday, but the blizzard of 1996 kept me there an extra week. All of Brooklyn was closed except for one theatre showing only the movie “Waiting to Exhale.” I now know more about middle class black women living in Phoenix than I ever needed to know.

Every birthday since then has been good. At least the weather here is balmy by wretched New York standards, so I will be able to fly home in time before my party on Saturday night.

The birthday itself tonight will be dinner with some friends in New York, so at least it will not just be me and Whitney Houston.

The licking of Hillary’s appendages by every member of the press will be unbearable for me, so I will be grateful that I will not see it. Besides, I have it on good authority from my grandmother that Wheel of Fortune will be a good episode tomorrow.

The whole point is to make the world a better place, but it means nothing if we get so caught up in the means that we forget the end. Hillary is a disaster as a politician and as a human being, but she cannot hurt my family directly. What would be a disaster is if I spent time watching politics instead of sitting with my grandmother.

After all, no matter who is in the White House, she is just happy that her grandson is visiting.

For that reason alone, turning 36 is pretty cool.

eric

This entry was posted on Tuesday, January 8th, 2008 at 10:02 pm and is filed under POLITICS, Uncategorized, WOMEN. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.