From Taxachusetts to Tim Geithner to Tetley Tea with love

Outside of liberals, nobody likes April 15th. As we know, the reason they don’t mind taxes is because they often don’t pay them.

(For a list of tea parties and other events, the link below is provided and continuously updated.)

Nevertheless, April 15th is not a day when I normally rant about taxes. Besides, we should all be in a good mood now that the NFL 2009 Schedule has been released as of yesterday. I have it memorized already.

Yet the anger in America is palpable, and it is often justified.

For too long, productive people have had to rip the leeches of the less productive from their wounded chests. The giant sucking sound that Ross Perot spoke about in 1992 was not about Mexico. It was about liberals stealing from conservatives in the name of fairness.

Conservatives are fighting back in the form of tea parties around America.

I am not sure if I will attend. I have to work, and am balancing several radio interviews. Also, to quote a comedian that did a fabulous imitation of Gilbert Gottfried promoting Tetley Tea…

“I hate Tea. Tea I hate. Tea is hot water with a bag in it, and the bag is urinating dirt. Waiter, get that bag out of my hot water. Also, why T? Why not call it L? L would have been good.”

Then again, a world with less tea would be a good thing, so I might throw some in the water to protest not just against taxes, but against tea as well. I might even throw a golf club to protest my distaste for golf. I just have to find a political angle, and somebody willing to part with a club.

I could even wear a sign that reads, “apolitical, I just hate tea.”

Then again, I really am political. The sign will need work.

My bigger concerns are that I still have not found a way to blame Palestinians, feminists, or other scourges for this situation. I will connect the dots faster then somebody can toss their Tetley.

(If you work for Tetley, please do not sue me. I don’t know a Mint Medley from an Earl Grey, and never wish to learn. Your competitors are just as useless to me, only your name is the only one I know from that catchy jingle you did years ago.)

Actually, radical feminist meetings and leftover tea often contain old bags, but that can wait for another time. Thank the heavens they do not support this cause. If they burn their bras I am leaving immediately.

To me tea is a liberal drink. It is elitist and snobby. Guys drink beer, or in my case, soda.

So for those of you in Taxachusetts drinking your dirt filled cup of water, just know that I scoff at your blue state beverage.

At least by tossing stuff in the ocean, we will be ticking off the environmentalists. Some good will come out of this.

So as we curse Tim Geithner and fight back against the pillaging and plundering liberals that act like Somali pirates minus the willingness to use force, just remember that tomorrow will be April 16th, and life will continue.

For that reason, I might skip the tea parties. With all of the people I have offended, who knows how many of them want to throw me in the river?

So to those who are offended by me, take the advice of the tea companies, and adopt the new slogan I just created for them.

Stick a bag in it.


9 Responses to “From Taxachusetts to Tim Geithner to Tetley Tea with love”

  1. Laree says:


    Apparently in the age of Obama Dissent isn’t Patriotic anymore:) If you participate in a Tea Party you are a Wacko and a Hater…LOL!

  2. hauk says:

    I actually drink a lot of tea. I grew up in England, and developed quite a taste for it, black teas, green teas, and herbal teas. They have a large amount of health benefits, and are much gentler on the body than coffee or energy drinks. I wouldn’t call it a liberal drink, or an elitist drink. It has it’s own niche market.

    What I think is funny though, is that no one at the RNC bothered to check for the street meaning of “Teabagging.” This is why liberals all across America are now laughing at the Republican party. Hel, I’m laughing at them. Of course, I also have a mental image of John McCain teabagging the Pelosiraptor, and that, while a little obscene, is quite hilarious.

  3. Micky 2 says:

    Taking the tea and dropping it into the harbor is a perfect analogy to what we are doing with Obamas policies.

    After all, its Obama who is testicularly challenged.

  4. Dav Lev says:

    Let’s talk about taxes in some detail.
    In 2004, the “Tax Gap” was 300 billion dollars. That represents the
    taxes that SHOULD have been paid to the IRS (gov’t), but because
    income was underreported and expenses overreported, forms werent
    filed (5m), taxes shown on returns filed not paid, weren’t.

    The IRS’s own stats show the actual estimated tax gap was about 350 billion dollars. They collected through their efforts including estate and
    gift taxes, collections, audits, bankruptcies, 50 billion, reducing the
    net to about 300 billion.

    Now, some people who bemoan this gift to the often times liberal
    taxpayers (but not always), want more government intrusion in
    our financial affairs, better enforcement techniquest (like hiring
    more agents), and better computers to watch all of our transactions (see
    1099s). Along with the aforesaid would be a substantial increase in
    US Justice Department prosecutions for fraud, and willful failure to file.
    (About 3500 people/year are successfully prosecuted each year
    by the Feds).

    I suppose with Bernie Madoff’s upcoming sentencing..and all surrounding
    his ponzi scheme, the other prosecutions (like SEC fraud cases) are
    being shelved to some extent. And let’s not forget the drug cases that
    pre-occupy investigators time and efforts.

    Speaking of drugs..hows about Obama’s attorney telling the judges
    that it’s okay to continue to prosecute violators of those who
    sell and use MJ, despite Obama’s campaign pleges against such

    Many medical people believe that MJ does in fact relieve pain and suffering
    of those with chronic illnesses. (Cancer patient pain is difficult to relieve).

    However, sometimes liberals are correct. I would allow the sale of
    MJ by pharmacists..under strict supervision, to those who really do
    benefit by it. But then again, what would the police in upstate New York
    and the prison guards do to earn a living?

    Do we all realize that alcohol causes more deaths and injuries than many of the major illnesses combined. Yet, it is legal to manufacture, distribute and sell alcohol. Then again, the same applies to tobacco..which
    causes COPD and circulatory problems galore.

    Haven’t we all been in nursing homes seeing people bedridden and
    in wheel chairs who admitted their smoking CAUSED their legs to
    give out.

    The State of California will be increasing it’s top rate to over 10%., thanks
    to a recently passed proposition. It’s obvious that when people can vote increases (for someone else) they always come through.

    If you were to add the 90% rate that Obama wants on those over 250,000, plus the over 10% state tax, plus property taxes (which pay
    for over 55% of the California State budget, hidden taxes, gasoline
    tax (going up), the increase in LA County sales taxes, higher capital
    gains taxes and lower exemptions on real estate capital gains….hmmmmm
    does it pay to strive for success?

    I would appreciate if someone would list ALL the promises that
    Obama made during his campaign, those that were actually kept,
    those that are really similar to John McCain’s, and those that
    are going no where fast?

    I think we would then get the real picture of the greatest fourflusher
    in US history.

    Hey, speaking of promises to talk, engage and for increased diplomacy.
    Hows about No. Korea giving the finger to US..and Iran demanding
    pre-conditions for talks, like allowing them to nuke Israel at will.

    I find it most interesting that despite 17 years of Israeli compromises
    to the Palis for peace, the little country still has to beef up it’s military
    and police presence in the so-called territories as well as itself, to avoid
    Palis terrorism.

    I wonder sometimes how we would react if a 13 year old was axed to death, just minding his own business?

    Okay Obama, hows about engaging with the “Good Taliban”, you know,
    the guys who burn down girl’s schools, chop off heads in a public
    square, chop of people’s arms for minor crimes..and have their
    young memorize the Jihadist passages in the koran (calling for the
    death of Jews and Infidels (Christians)?

  5. This whole Teabagger thing is just plain hysterical. They’re protesting taxes, which have just been cut for the vast, overwhelming majority of Americans. They never protested the ridiculous spending that now requires our taxes to pay for. Most of the protesters probably don;t make enough money to have had ther taxes raised, and those that have had them raised are going to make quite the spectacle arriving at the protests in their Mercedes and holding up their bags of Earl Grey. On top of all this, we had conservatives back in the time of the original Tea Party – and they were known as British Loyalists! WHAT. A. JOKE.

    Dan Lev complains about the “tax gap” but that was created by the GOP slashing the budget at the IRS – a sleazy way to pander to the moronic base. Hey, Dan – ever hear the expression, “You get what you pay for?”

    And Dan, you seem to conveniently forget the IRA and how that situation was remediated. Mainstreaming sometimes works a lot better than endless pyrrhic bloodletting. I know conservatives, by definition, like to do the same thing over and over again even if to no avail, but that also happens to be the definition of insanity, ya’ know. ;)


  6. hauk says:

    I don’t know that it’s an accurate representation. If I recall correctly, the original tea party was to protest a British Tariff on imported goods. We’re protesting… what? That we have to pay taxes? That our money is being wasted? That Obama is a douche? That there are people who cannot provide for themselves that are being helped out by the rest of us? That millions more who probably could help themselves are also being helped?

    Hel, the older I get, the less I like or trust our government. But sending teabags to congressmen will do as little good as writing protest songs. It feels good for a few minutes, and then… nothing.

  7. I think, Hauk, you’re on to something when you question the whole purpose of these protests. A protest has to be a protest about, against, for something. Just going out and protesting vague generalities and feelings is sort of like mass organized moaning, like an incoherent and unintelligible Gregorian chant.

    I think it’s probably a good thing, though, that people distrust the government. It keeps them and us on our toes, and the fact that different people like and dislike the government for different reasons will keep our republic vibrant. If we all agreed then either we’d jump the cliffs like lemmings, or be forced off them like bison.


  8. Toma says:

    Well, I’m an enemy of the state. Obama has deemed that if a person is:

    anti abortion
    anti-gun control
    against higher taxes
    against overreaching government control and power
    anti-illegal immigration…

    So, Obama and HIS DEMOCRATS have made it clear that I am an enemy of the STATE.

    I have been telling people for years that this would happen, Democrats will maintain and usurp power and control at any and all cost.

    Welcome to the Obama’s adminsitration of change, STATISM.

    Since I have been openly and publically critical of DEMOCRATS for years I have to assume that Obama has me under surveilance. So are you iF you are conservative.

    “There is a specter haunting America”


  9. Toma,

    What makes you think anyone considers you an enemy of the state? Why didn’t you worry about “statism” when the Bush adminstration was expanding executive power and conducting domestic spying and using the justice dept as a political hit squad? Why would you worry about Obama’s surveillance but not Bush’s?

    Obama has not deemed you anything. All they’re saying, apparently rightly so, is that some rightwing expremist groups are out there trying to recruit disenchanted rightwingers to endoctrinate and radicalize them. Are you a member of a domestic terrorist group? A rightwing extremist group? Why is it okay to deem a PETA member a “domestic terrorist” but not a KKK member?

    You’re just being paranoid and easily lead.


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