The anti-tax, anti-tea morning after pill

April 15th is now in the rear view mirror.

I fought the good fight, but apparently my efforts at the anti tax tea parties failed.

Tea is still legal in America.

I showed up with my sign.

“I dislike taxes, but I hate tea. Death to Mint Medley! Death to Earl Gray! Death to Tetley!”

I tried to explain to people that this is a America, and that we do not drink sissy liberal beverages here. We drink beer, or in my case, soda. In fact, most things that rhyme with tea should be put under intense scrutiny, from trees to brie cheese.

Anyway, the bottom line is that America is simply divided on the issue. Like other complex moral issues, I never did get certain questions answered.

For one thing, when does tea actually begin?

Conservatives, who I pray never to catch drinking the stuff, insist that once it made at wherever it is, it is exists. From the moment it is conceived and put in that womb of a box that is placed on grocery shelves, it is tea.

Yet liberals argue that until it is taken out of the box, placed in a cup, and hot water is added to it, tea is unborn.

Now I know some extremist liberals will insist that until the tea actually breaks out of the tea bag and actually mixes with the water, no tea has been made. These zealots are out of control. Anybody who thinks that a tea bag sitting there ready to blend with the water, in the seconds before the water changes color, has not created tea in its full form, is insane.

Some people actually wait until after the tea is born to then throw the bag in the dumpster. This is barbaric. Every opportunity was given to throw the bag away before mixing with the water, but waiting until the tea is wholly formed and fully integrated into the society of water is clinically cruel.

I saw no discussion of this at any of the rallies. In fact, across the street from these so called protest marches, were places actually selling the stuff. What in the name of California is going on here?

I witnessed discussions, some animated, some calmer. I witnessed a diverse crowd. The disrupters claimed to be from the CCCP (Some Commie Pinko Derivative), but I think they were Tetley executives in disguise.

Yet nobody was throwing tea in the ocean. This was no revolution. This was a typical day in Santa Monica, although much colder and windier.

The police did not support the lawlessness, opting for coffee instead. While this is not much better, it is slightly better.

Does nobody drink soda any more? What has happened to America? Even the leftists wanted to join hands 20 years ago and sing about buying the world a Coke. Now it is dirt mixed with Evian.

Some young missionaries came to preach the Gospel of their Lord and Savior. They agreed with me on the anti-tea stance. They were also against drugs. We tried to get some drug addicts on the street some help, but they would not listen. One person insisted it was glaucoma medication they were taking, while another insisted that they had a prescription for the tablets that appeared to be an anti-histamine.

Well I know a thing about tablets. God gave them to Moses, and it did not sanction liberal pill popping in this land I love, especially when those drugs are mixed with beverages that change colors after being mixed.

We are losing the culture wars. I have done all I can do.

Some of the smell from the tea emanating from that vile store near the protest site wafted towards me. I contacted the Center for Disease Control, and they quickly arrived and gave me a morning after pill.

It may have looked like Pepcid AC or Pepto Bismol, but that was to keep the rest of the crowd from panicking.

I tried my best America. I let you down.

Tea still exists, and this administration will continue to allow it.

Oh yeah, and taxes are too high.


11 Responses to “The anti-tax, anti-tea morning after pill”

  1. Toma says:


    I have a title for your sequel to “Ideolodical Bigotry”.

    How about “Ideological Criminalization”.

    Obama and HIS DEMS have deemed me a “Right Wing Extremist” and enemy of HIS STATE.

    I’ve got a tea bag hanging from the rear view mirror in my truck. I have another on my mail box so the black vans won’t miss my house.

    The DEMS will justify and down play this HomeLand Security report, but this is what they are about.

    Maybe Jersy’s right, I’m just paranoid. But I see bad things coming.

    DEMS are soooo cool.


  2. Micky 2 says:

    So its not tea until it hits water ?
    I’ve seen these guys smoke tea before so what do we call it when the match hits the tip of the joint ?
    I would offer the anaology that my wife is the tea and I am the fire and when the two meat there is life.

    Toma, as expected the obligatory apology came from Napolitano this morning but its to late.
    That crap pi$$ed me off like I’ve never been pi$$ed in my life over anything political. The damage has been done, no apology will work, they only made it very clear what we are up against and what kind of minds are running things, so you go right ahead and be paranoid buddy, its okay, you’re not alone.
    At first I was wondering why Obama was so distant from that report and asking myself why he wasnt chewing Napolitanos butt off for issuing such crap. It then occured to me that the whole idea, the timing and everything could of very well been his. It oozes Obama tactics in every way.
    Which is only made more evident the longer he tries to seperate himself from it.
    I’m not one to off on paranoid conspiracies, most Christiians come after me for my feelings about some of the stories in the bible. I’m just really hard to convince unless theres something tangible to help. So when I start getting suspicious I’m usually right.
    Yes, bad things are coming and I suggest we all act accordingly but with composure.
    Lets not do what they hoped we would do yesterday by taking our anger over the report to the protests.
    I have no doubt whatsoever that the report was designed to incite emotions and then at the same time be the document that said “WE TOLD YOU SO!!”

  3. There goes Toma with his “enemy of the state” thing again. Toma, unless you actually are a member of a domestic terrorist organization, I really doubt you’re on anyone’s watchlist.

    I think our good host forgets how much southerners love their “sweet tea.” You couldn’t pry it from their cold, very extremely sweet, dead hands. ;)

    And do I understand this corectly – is our good host a pro-life Jewish person??? What the heck is that???

    And Micky, there has been an upsurge in recruitment among neo-nazi groups, the Klan, radical militias and rightwing Christian cults since Obama was elected. It should really come as no surprise. No one is lumping all righties in with extremists. No one is trying to incite these people. They are already incited. I think they put this out there more as a hazard warning for people engaged in these protests to watch out for these domestic terrorist recruiters. You wouldn’t want to be associated with people like that and no one is accusing you of doing so.


  4. Micky 2 says:

    I’m only responding to you because you’re a part of this evil movement that tries to paint any dissenter as a radical. After this wyou and I are done as I said so last week because of your lying, just like in this case, but I’ll allow myself this because you along with the rest of the (redacted) that put this POS out need to be stopped in your tracks.

    You said;
    “there has been an upsurge in recruitment among neo-nazi groups, the Klan, radical militias and rightwing Christian cults since Obama was elected”

    No there has not, you (as usual) and them have nothing to prove it as they admit themselves.
    Its all speculation and suspicion, maybe not even that, just an attempt to counter the tea parties

    This is the very first paragraph in the report.

    “The DHS/Office of intelligence and Analysis (I&A) has no specific information that domestic rightwing terrorists are currently planning acts of violence, but rightwing extremists may be gaining recruits by playing on their fears about several emerging issues”

    You’re wrong.
    Stop spreading lies.

  5. “I’m only responding to you because you’re a part of this evil movement that tries to paint any dissenter as a radical.”

    I was wondering about that. Are you mad at me or something?

    I’m not trying to paint anyone as anything. I think most of the protesters, for example, are just regular people expressing themselves. I even agree with many of them to one degree or another. I think most of them are a little disillusioned. They’re hearing a lot of scary hyperbolic rhetoric on Fox News and AM talk radio, and they’re genuinely concerned – even if it’s about ingenuine problems. To be hinest, I think most of them are a little dim. They see things very simplistically, and they identify with people with whom they have little in common – they imagine themselves having the same sorts of concerns a wealthy person has. They don’t really, but it honestly concerns nonetheless. The vast majoruty of these rightwing grassroots people are not “extremists” or “radicals” or “terrorists,” and no serious person thinks they are. They are, however, a little dumb, and therefore some small numbers of them may be suseptible to radicalization. So just giving everyone a heads-up doesn’t seem like such a bad idea.

    There’s been an upsurge in radical rightwing groups worldwide in recent years. Really, when you think about it, AL Qaeda is a radical rightwing group – an extremely conservative, religious, authoritarian, militaristic movement. That’s pretty much the definition of a radical rightwing group. If you google it, you’ll find upsurges in the Neo-Nazi movement all over America, Europe, Australia and New Zealand. Poplawski, the gun-amassing cop-killer, was a Neo-Nazi who was afraid the state was coming to take his guns, whiteness, and Christianity away. How soon we forget that it is the extreme right that is the most anti-Semitic, as was Poplawski, a man whom many of the protesters would probably find quite agreeable.

    There are no reports of any planned attacks, which is more than Bush could’ve said about 9/11, but that certainly doesn’t mean there aren’t any out there, and this despicible, irresponsible, almost treasonous rhetoric coming from many on the right – like that idiot, Rick Perry – will only up the chances of something terrible happening. If or when it does, I can gaurantee you this: the right wing in America will become persona non grata.


  6. Toma says:

    Hey all, while you’re googling, google FCC to regulate internet bloggers and tax bloggers.

    We had better enjoy each others company while we can. DEMS don’t like people that disagree with them, and they will do what ever is necessary to shut us up.

    I heard a news story today that there is a study being conducted to study the negative effects of Jack Bauer and the series 24. I don’t remember who is doing the study. I can only guess.

    Jers, your guarantee sounds a lot like a threat.


  7. Toma, attacking freedom on the internet is about as partisan as Elton John is heterosexual. Dems and Reps have been bashing the first amendment, each in their own uniquely creepy way, forever.

    As for my “threat,” I’m just pointing out something that should be obvious – if the rightwing in this country produces too many more Timothy McVeighs, the public will eventually come to hate them, and their power will be marginalizd for a long, long time to come. Me thinks you cons had better tone down the screwball rhetoric before too many more sickos take you any more seriously.


  8. Toma says:

    “These are times that try men’s souls”. Thomas Paine.

  9. Micky 2 says:

    Toma, that study on the effects of 24 is going nowhere. I heard the same story yesterday being analyzed by Megyn Kelly.
    The point is however that theres an awful lot of thinking like this going on and its nothing new. mentioned along with that story were examples of this type of intention such as Tipper Gore and her attack on the music industry which only pointed out the hypocrisy of it all as when Ozzie displays what could lead kids to violent behavior yet the rap industry gets a pass.
    Its the thought that counts and after a while of chipping away it wont be long one day before we see success in achieving the silence they want.

    The left is scared, its plain to see. Looking around after the HS report came out I keep coming to the conclusion that the only reason for that bomb was to put a lable on the protestors as extremists and radicals more than likely because they knew it wasnt going to be like any liberal protest where we see the usuall insane displays of drama and violence so they had to cook up something that would give it a negative spin.
    Its all speculation, drama with no real reference to anything but McVeigh and the history of right wing radicals for the last 10 years. It was just reminder at the the most expedient time they could think of and telling us the obvious with an intentional layer of fear mongering as the frosting.
    When they start stooping so low as to use our troops as tools to promote feigned fear by presenting them as victims instead of men with a feeling of pride and accomplishment as they come home.
    The game is on, this is not the last stunt like this were going to see, they know that Obamas screw ups and socialist grabs are growing on the moderates of each party in this country and since theres no good argument to defend his screw ups or defend impending socialism their best course of action against the dissent is to cook up what they can that will make us all look worse than the problem.
    Whats our next move folks ? I’m not waiting for Michael Steel to tell us.

  10. Micky 2 says:

    Forgot the tail end of this paragraph;

    When they start stooping so low as to use our troops as tools to promote feigned fear by presenting them as victims instead of men with a feeling of pride and accomplishment as they come home you know they’re reaching deep and running short on positive ideas that can sell themselves, instead they tear down the opposition.

  11. Laree says:

    My Week in Review the Response of the mainstream media to the Tea Party Protest.

    My Impression of the Mainstream Media’s Coverage of Tax Day, Tea Partys held across the country this past week. Predictable, Preconditioned, Conforming & Devoid of Objectivity. They reminded me of Zombies.

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