THE TYGRRRR EXPRESS

At the Ronald Reagan Library in Simi Valley, California, I had the pleasure of hearing Dennis Prager speak.

While I have met and heard Prager speak several times in the last few weeks alone, I am impressed with his ability to bring new material to his audiences. He does not have a standard stump speech. Sometimes he is completely off the rails. Between that and our Hebrew heritage, we have two things in common.

Given how Prager is a master at expounding, I shall offer brevity and let Prager do the talking. He would not have it any other way.

With that, I bring even more wit, wisdom, and passion from Dennis Prager.

“First of all, I am not going to speak briefly. I don’t want any of you to complain. You’ve already eaten.”

“Raise your hand if you are not a distinguished guest. I personally thank you.”

“I know what you are thinking. Dennis looks like a very large phone booth. Well the Republican Jewish Coalition membership started in a phone booth, expanded into a living room, and now can fill up the Rose Bowl.”

“A President Obama would shut down talk radio.”

“Dennis Prager, Hugh Hewitt, Michael Medved, and Mike Gallagher make up an all star team of conservative radio hosts.”

“This battle is for the heart and soul of America.”

“Any time I meet a republican Rabbi, I know I am meeting a courageous Jew. His congregation thinks he is at an Obama fundraiser.”

“Mississippi Senator Wicker (who spoke earlier), in the same way the North saved the Union in the 19th Century, the South will Save America in the 21st Century.”

“The New York Times has no idea. There is no comparison between a 21 year old soldier here and a regular 21 year old at home.”

“Insurance Commissioner Steve Poizner (who also spoke earlier) said that he needs his black belt in karate to be Insurance Commissioner. He needs artillery.”

“Clarity is a mixed blessing. It comes with pain. You see wrongs clearly.”

“Democrats are hurting our country. I wish it was merely two different visions of the world. The collective efforts of democrats are destructive.”

“People are leaving California. When will democrats realize the damage that democrats have done to this state? People are leaving for Nevada. I have spoken there. I have visited there for other reasons. Nobody moves to Nevada from California for the weather.They are driven away.”

“Now, I would like to recite some Romanian Jewish poetry. No, not really.”

“There are three things I want to talk about tonight. First, I want to discuss the battle within Jewish life. Second, I want to talk about progress. Third, I will talk about the 2008 election.”

“Everything I learned in Yeshiva was a conservative value. Nothing I learned in 3500 years of Judaism corresponds with liberalism or pacifism.”

“Rashi says that ‘If somebody comes to kill you, get up earlier, and kill the.’ This is what I call the gospel truth.”

“There is a time for plowshares, a time for swords, and never a time for pacifism, where all killing is wrong.”

“The Torah says ‘Thou shalt not murder.’ It does not say ‘Thou shalt not kill.'”

“Pacifism increases evil on Earth.”

“How can a Jew support this? Non-violent resistance in the form of Ghandi or Martin Luther King is ok when dealing with governments. It is not ok with terrorists.”

“If every Jewish home had had a gun, the Holocaust would never have happened. Only liberal Jews post-Holocaust could be anti-gun. The Warsaw Ghetto had guns, allowing it to survive much longer.”

“Social Justice is not equal to an all powerful state. Conservative Americans give more to charity than liberal Americans.”

“Aid to Africa goes to corrupt governments.”

“Even Clinton signed welfare reform. Government is not a husband.”

“What ruined black cities were democratic mayors.”

“The Torah has a law that one cannot show favoritism towards the poor in court. Justice Earl Warren said that the purpose of justice is to help the poor. No. It is to be just. Politicians, welfare workers, and private citizens should help the poor.”

“Earl Warren, on the day JFK was shot, said, ‘This is a symbol of bigotry and hate.’ JFK was shot by a communist. College kids today think JFK was shot by a right winger.”

“In the USSR, they say that ‘The future is known. It is the past that is always changing.'”

“If you love God, you must hate evil. This is a Mitzvah (good deed) in Judaism. The GOP hates evil. The democrats hate carbon dioxide emissions and DDT.”

“Banning DDT killed Africans through increased cases of malaria. Environmentalists committed mass murder in Africa.”

“Being on the left means never having to say you’re sorry.”

“Being married means always having to say you’re sorry, especially when married to a woman.”

“Deuteronomy states that Jews are to choose life. There is nothing in Judaism that allows for an abortion unless it is to save a life. Jews can be pro-choice, but anti-abortion.”

“We are all pro-choice on adultery, because otherwise many people would go to jail.”

“Pro-choicers cannot say that abortion is immoral. Rabbis won’t say it. Jewish souls are hurting.”

“Christians who founded America were Judeo-based Christians. American Christians founded the best nation for Jews in world history. Removing Christianity is an act of self destruction. The United States is a second chosen nation.”

“The one verse on the Liberty Bell is from the Torah. It is not from Locke, Voltaire, the Enlightenment, or the New Testament.”

“Samuel Morse, in telegraph, asked, ‘What hath God wrought, oh Israel and Jacob?”

“You could not graduate from Harvard in the 1800s without knowing Hebrew. The slogan for Yale is from the Torah.”

“Christians founded Los Angeles. That is why it is called Los Angeles, not Los Secularistes. Then we would have a blank seal. Somehow Corpus Christi has survived. Maybe the ACLU will make them change their name, but maybe they can’t find it on a map.”

“Why are liberal Jews so angry that Saddam was overthrown? He paid $25,000 to the families of suicide bombers.”

“Reform Judaism passed an anti-overthrow resolution. This will go down in history right along with their shrimp and lobster banquet.”

“Reform Rabbis honor the choice of women to wear veils. What choice? This is coercion. There is a sickness in some Jewish souls.”

“Morally, religiously, and fundamentally wrong…that is the American left.”

“How can Jews lament the overthrow of Saddam?”

“Conservative governments are always more Pro-Israel and pro-America.”

“It is a lie that the world hates America. The world’s left hates America.”

“As Jews leave Judaism and become secular, they still want to save the world.”

“Whether liberalism, secularism, or any other ism, Jews founded isms.”

“The Italians gave us opera. The Jews gave us the beauty of Judaism.”

“Last week, a conservative magazine reported that I would not vote for John McCain for president. The magazine based its claim on a column I had written in May 2007 about why I could not support John McCain for the Republican presidential nomination. The magazine was wrong. Though I did not support Sen. McCain in the Republican primaries, the moment he became the presumptive Republican candidate I endorsed him wholeheartedly for president of the United States.”

“I disagree with McCain on ANWR and campaign finance reform, but if I wanted someone I agree with all the time, I would run.”

“Having not been a supporter from the outset, perhaps my endorsement of John McCain will carry more weight among conservatives who are still undecided about whether to vote for John McCain.”

“There is a notion of a leftist taking over, followed by a backlash. My bottom line is this: The gulf between John McCain and conservatives is miniscule compared to the gulf between John McCain and Barack Obama. This is true regarding virtually every issue of significance to America. The America that a President Barack Obama would shape, with the help of a Democratic Congress and a liberal Supreme Court, would be very dissimilar from the America shaped by a President John McCain.”

“Conservatives who will not vote for McCain are well-intentioned utopians. They are comparing McCain to a consistently conservative candidate. The reality, however, is that McCain is not running against a consistently conservative candidate. He is running against a consistently left-wing candidate. And America cannot afford to have its first leftist president ever. It can afford liberal presidents — such as Bill Clinton, or Jimmy Carter (who governed as a liberal but became a leftist after leaving the White House), or John F. Kennedy, or Lyndon Johnson, or Harry Truman — i.e., all the Democrats who have been president since World War II. But the Democratic Party has moved well to the left of liberalism. And Barack Obama is at the left of that left-wing party.”

“Furthermore, given the strong possibility of a Democratic House, a Democratic Senate, and a liberal Supreme Court for decades to come, given the number of Supreme Court appointments a Democratic president will be able to make, an Obama victory will move America more radically leftward than ever in its history. The backlash theory is flawed because Supreme Court appointments cannot be undone.”

That is why the argument that an Obama administration will be so destructive that Americans will reject the left and then elect a real conservative to undo the damage done in an Obama presidency is deeply flawed.

“First of all, other than impeachment, there is no way to undo Supreme Court appointments, two or three of which a President Obama would likely make. And given how active most liberal judges are, it won’t matter much if the country has some conservative epiphany and then elects a Republican president and Congress. Because even if the Congress and the president will not pass liberal legislation, a liberal Supreme Court will. On almost any social issue that matters — the right to bear arms, late-term abortion, the definition of marriage, capital punishment, and many others — a liberal Supreme Court will rule on these issues, and there will be nothing that a post-Obama Republican president, even with a Republican congress, will be able to do about them.”

“Moreover, the argument that Americans will have a conservative epiphany after four years of an Obama presidency is predicated on America being greatly damaged by his policies. What kind of mindset welcomes such damage to the country it loves for the sake of potentially gaining politically after the damage is done? Is it, for example, really worth a considerably weakened economy (which Barack Obama’s tax and other economic policies would likely lead to), with its widespread suffering and unforeseeable social and political consequences, just to — hopefully — get a conservative into the White House four or eight years later? Is it worth a widespread depression?”

“The damage won’t necessarily be undone. Even Ronald Reagan, the most popular conservative to ever serve as president, could not roll back most liberal creations. He never could get rid of the useless Department of Education, for example. Nor could a then-popular President George W. Bush do a thing about Social Security even when he had a Republican House and Senate. And how will Barack Obama’s successor undo the damage done to Iraq, the Middle East, the War on Islamic Terror, and the credibility of America’s assurances to allies once Iraq slides into chaos as a result of America’s precipitous withdrawal from Iraq?”

“If we lose in Iraq, who in Iraq will trust us as Iraqis are being tortured? The New York Times ignored the Holocaust. They will ignored Iraqis being tortured.”

“You leave when you win!”

“John McCain understand that if we lose in Iraq, it’s over.”

“I now understand how the liberal media can lose a war when we are winning on every level.”

“Therefore, as well meaning and sincere as many conservatives are, this mode of thinking — let the country suffer under a left-wing president, Congress, and Supreme Court and then it will come to its conservative senses — will likely lead to a downward spiral from which it is hard to see the country escaping for a generation, if it is lucky.”

“There is one person who can prevent this unhappy future — John McCain.”

“He will not raise taxes, the last thing we should be doing in a weakened economy. Even Europeans understand this.”

“He will reduce government spending, and thereby prevent the state from controlling even more of American life.”

“He will ensure that America wins in Iraq. That will make one of the biggest and richest Arab states the freest of the Arab states. And it will hand Islamic terrorists the biggest defeat they have ever suffered. It will teach potential enemies not to attack America (whether Iraq did so directly is irrelevant to the point). And it will reassure America’s allies around the world, many of whom, as in Iraq, risk their lives for America and liberty, that America will never abandon them.”

“He will appoint conservatives to the Supreme Court and to federal benches, thereby depriving the left of its most powerful weapon in reshaping America in its image.”

“One California Justice decided that even though they were for same sex marriage, it was not for them to decide. This is an honorable and all too rare position.”

“He may attract enough Hispanic votes (while securing the borders) to prevent that critical constituency from identifying with the Democratic Party, something that would ensure left-wing victories for decades to come.”

“He will develop nuclear power, environmentalist (read leftist) opposition to which has been morally indefensible. We would all love to have a solar powered or wind powered country. However, on planet earth at this time, nuclear power may be the cleanest source of energy we have. That is why France, not heretofore known as politically conservative, relies on nuclear power for nearly 80 percent of its electricity.”

“Obama is brilliant and effective. On every issue, he is ‘for it, but…there are problems.’ From capital punishment to nuclear power, he is for it, but with reservations.”

“However noble their intentions, conservatives who do not vote for John McCain will be morally complicit in what happens to America during an Obama presidency.”

“I love AMerica too much to elect Obama.”

“Liberals say that they love the USA, and to love is to criticize. Ask a liberal if they hold that position regarding their wife. They have a strange sense of love, or no love at all. One praises as well every so often. We are not constantly criticizing what we love.”

“I love America, and I am supporting John McCain.”

There are a million things I could add, but despite what I said earlier, like Prager, brevity is shockingly enough not my forte. I will just say that when I spoke to Prager regarding interviewing him, his exact response was, “Eric, you have to keep reminding me about stuff like this. Send the questions again and again until I take care of it. I am slow with this stuff, but keep reminding me and it will get done.”

Given that Mr. Prager reads my column on a daily basis, this is his reminder.

As always, his speeches bring the crowd to its feet. This one was one of his best. Given that we were in the Ronald Reagan Library, I would have expected nothing less.

eric

Whether it is Iranian President Armageddonijad or Reverend Jesse Jackson, verbal bombthrowing seems to be all the rage.

True, Jesse “Hymietown” Jackson did apologize, but then again I am sure he will be out agitating and throwing stones from his glass house at other people any day now.

https://tygrrrrexpress.com/2007/09/jesse-jackson-lies-bill-oreilly-cries/

http://michellemalkin.com/2008/07/09/jesse-jackson-disses-obama-on-race/

At least Jesse Jackson has not threatened to wipe America and Israel off of the map, even though he has visited nations that want to do exactly that.

Iranian President Armageddonijad will at some point be assassinated, at which point Iran will need a new leader. I nominate Jesse Jackson for President of Iran. After all, the similarities are overwhelming.

Armageddonijad is a spiritual leader, although most people never actually really elected him.

Jesse Jackson is a spiritual leader, and a member of the black leadership in America. I do not know anybody that elected him.

The media fawns over both of these men as if their words were worth hearing.

Both of these men really dislike Jews.

Both of them occasionally tone down their anti-semitic rhetoric when the pressure gets too great.

Armageddonijad sabre rattles to keep people from focusing on the mullahs.

Jesse Jackson sabre rattles to keep people from focusing on Al Sharpton.

Armageddonijad was one of the hostage takers of Americans in 1979.

Jesse Jackson hurdled across a room like a linebacker to cradle Martin Luther King in his arms in front of the cameras in 1968.

Both men want Barack Obama to be President, but seem to do more harm than good.

Both men hate George W. Bush, Jews, and whitey in general.

Both men have warm relations with Syria and Libya.

Both men have income, but do not seem to have held any meaningful actual employment.

Armageddonijad blackmails Wall Street by threatening to close down the Strait of Hormuz and cause oil prices to skyrocket.

Jesse Jackson blackmails Wall Street by threatening to close down corporations that do not make donations to his parasitic organizations.

Jesse Jackson preaches religious family values, which he has extended to both of his simultaneous families.

Armageddonijad treats both of his goats equally.

Black Muslim militant groups only agree with Jesse Jackson 50% of the time, since he is not Muslim.

Black Muslim militant groups only agree with Armageddonijad 50% of the time, since he is not black.

Armageddonijad rambles in an incoherent manner that would make Ayatollah Khomeini proud.

Jesse Jackson rambles in an incoherent manner that would make Dr. Seuss proud.

Both men have looted their followers to enrich themselves.

Both men have left many in their own communities dirt poor and in a state of despair.

Both men are losing their influence because the younger generations think they are full of garbage.

In both cases, the younger generations are correct.

Armageddonijad was given a warm embrace by a Jewish anti-zionist, making many Jews want to tear their hair out.

Jesse Jackson was greeted warmly by Barbara Boxer, making many Jews want to tear their hair out.

Armageddonijad is an embarrassment to decent Muslims everywhere who insist that he does not represent them.

Jesse Jackson is an embarrassment to decent blacks everywhere who insist that he does not represent them.

Both men attack conservative Christians while perverting religion themselves.

Both men have enough money to retire, and should do so immediately.

Both men have equally worthless leaders willing to take their place.

The similarities are endless because terrible people who build a base of power based on hatred of others possess similar negative qualities.

The similarities are endless because people who gain by pitting people against each other have much in common.

Armageddonijad is a threat to world stability. He has declared war on America, and is fair game for a targeted strike.

Jesse Jackson has violated American law by traveling to countries where travel by U.S. citizens is banned. Therefore, he legally should be deported.

He could then run for President of Iran. A simple platform of anti-semitism and helping the poor should allow him to win in a landslide. Besides, Iran is not known as a place for dissent anyway.

Keep hope alive! I support Jesse Jackson as the next President of Iran.

eric

At the recent Santa Barbara retreat for the David Horowitz Freedom Center, I had the pleasure of meeting Ward Connerly.

I have long admired Mr. Connerly for his strong principled stands. He is a black conservative that truly wants all people to be treated equally. He has been vilified by liberals, being called every name in the book. As a Jewish republican, I know what it is like for simply existing, and thinking for myself.

I worked to help pass Proposition 209, which Ward Connerly promoted. Proposition 209 is just another attempt to move America towards a colorblind society.

With that, I bring the wisdom of Ward Connerly.

1) How does a black boy growing up in America when you did turn out to be not only a republican, but a passionate one advocating conservative governance?

Much of who I am is based on how I was raised by my maternal grandmother, an aunt and an uncle (by marriage). All three had very fundamental values about life – self reliance, limited government, doing unto others as you would have them do unto you, and other values typically associated with governance. What I was taught was not unusual for “black” kids. The difference is that I was able to escape the culture that betrayed what I was taught – what we commonly call “victimology.” Most blacks were unable to escape that influence, which was so prevalent in the late 60s, 70s and early 80s.

 

2) What is the status of race relations in America? Are they better than 30 years ago, worse, or the same?

“Race relations” are mixed, but mostly we have reasons to be optimistic. Society as a whole is moving inexorably toward ridding itself with its preoccupation with race – skin color and other physical attributes of race. More Americans are dating and marrying across racial lines, blacks are advancing rapidly in all sectors of American life, and other indicia of progress may be cited. On the other hand, those who have built their professional lives around the issue of race and many of those who are socially invested in race-consciousness are unable to abandon their dedication to this issue. Thus, they delay and frustrate further progress. But, their numbers are shrinking and soon only the die-hards will remain.

 

3) Americans know about racial and ethnic bigotry, but rarely does ideological bigotry get attention. Have you ever been subjected to it, and if so, in what forms?

Of course, I have. When the media characterizes me as a “black conservative,” hidden in that characterization is often a pejorative perspective. Many institutions of American life have negative views about “black conservatives.” We are presumed to be “Uncle Toms,” unable to form independent thoughts of our own and inordinantly influenced by whites. In fact, implicit in your first question was the perspective that to be “black” and conservative is a real novelty. While you seemingly have a positive view of that identity, many do not. Thus, the ideological bigotry.

 

4) What does our government do right, and what does it need to do better, and what would make it better so people can start believing in their government again?

 

 

I am not a fan of much of what our government does today. There is more being done wrong than at any time in my life. The fact that I had to think so long about this question is instructive to me. My garbage is picked up on time and the government deposits my tax payments swiftly, usually, but other than that, I am hard-pressed to mention many accomplishments of our government at any level. This is not to suggest that there is nothing done right, but that that which is being done right is often too rare to mention. The best way for the American people to start believing in their government again is to reduce its size – it is too big and too intrusive. Smaller government would enable us to focus more clearly on that which is being done and to better appreciate good service when it is found.

 

5) Our country is incredibly polarized. Outside of another 9/11, is it even possible to unite Americans? What common goals and values do we share?

 

 

There is nothing inherently wrong with “polarization.” It depends on what we are polarized about and how we handle our differences. The fundamental problem is that we are polarized about fundamental values. When that happens, it is extremely difficult to unite and to form a national consensus about anything. For example, Senator Obama offers himself as a “uniter.” Yet, I predict that our country will be more polarized than before he takes office, assuming that he does, because his fundamental views about the role of government, immigrations, affirmative action, same-sex marriage and a host of other issues are at variance with a significant slice of the American electorate. Currently, we share few civic values and that fact does not portend good things for our nation’s future.

 

 

 

6) Who are your three favorite American political leaders of all time? What about world leaders?

 

 

Ronald Reagan, Martin Luther King, Jr. (although a “movement” leader, he was nonetheless “political”) and Abraham Lincoln.

 

7) How do republicans address the affirmative action issue when the result is often accusations of bigotry? How can we win the public relations battle on this issue?

 

 

As with any other issue, do and say what is right. Equal treatment under the law is a foundational principle. With regard to such principles, it is my view that one should never be guided by public relations concerns or what others call you when defending such principles. Fear of social ostracism often triggers one’s vulnerability to such ostracism. On the other hand, when one doesn’t give a damn about criticism for one’s views, the criticism is of no moment.

 

8.) Who are rising stars in the republican party that America should be placing on their radar for the near future?

 

 

Bill Crist of Florida, Mitt Romney (although defeated in the primaries, his star has not dimmed but is shining brighter).

 

9) If you had 5 minutes to speak to President Bush or Vice President Cheney, what would you ask them or say to them?

 

 

Mr. President, I believe you are a very decent man who loves his country and had high hopes for uniting the American people. Fate dealt you a bad hand on September 11, 2001. It seems to me, however, that an opportunity to unite the American people on a longer-lasting basis was lost by not addressing the issue of race preferences and telling us what we have in common; namely, the principle of equal treatment under the law. This failure was in evidence throughout your terms in office. Addressing this issue could have left you with a significant legacy.

 

10) Without delving into your personal life, what would you want Americans to know about Ward Connerly the person? 100 years from now, what would you want people to remember about you, and what would you hope the history books say about you?

I would want them to know of my profound love for my country and my fellow Americans. I would want them to know how strongly I felt about the principle of equal treatment before the law, that I fought for that principle when others advised “cooling it,” that I consider that principle the glue that binds us all. I would hope the history books would say “he was a true warrior for freedom and equality.”

I would like to thank Ward Connerly for his time, and his thoughtfulness. With good men like him leading the way, America one day will be that colorblind society that he longs to see.

eric

A pair of debates regarding the 2008 election took place on two separate Jewish college campus environments.

Supporting Barack Obama was former Congressman Mel Levine, who is now a lawyer.

Supporting John McCain was former Naval Serviceman and current California Executive Director of the Republican Jewish Coalition, Larry Greenfield.

(Full disclosure: Larry is a friend of mine.)

These debates occurred a couple weeks apart from each other. Given the significant overlap in the dialogue, the debates have been combined.

The only major difference between the two debates was that the first debate occurred in a hyperpartisan left wing environment, while the second debate took place in a more neutral setting.

The moderator of the first debate let the audience know that for the sake of civility, there was to be no discussion of Obama being a closet Muslim, attending a Madrassa, or being a puppet of Louis Farrakhan. While I agree that all of these notions are offensive and wrong, I find it odd that civility requires that only one side disarm. Mel Levine spent a significant amount of time in both debates attacking the Republican Jewish Coalition, of which I am a proud member. Attacking the RJC was a direct way of attempting to invalidate Larry Greenfield. Naturally, Mel Levine was the one who accused the right of “Swiftboating” while hitting way below the belt in this specific manner.

There was levity at the beginning when the crowd was complimented for attending a Los Angeles political debate at the same time the Lakers were playing the Celtics in the NBA Finals (Those at the debate missed one of the great games of all time.). It was pointed out that this same Temple invited Simon Wiesenthal to speak on Superbowl Sunday, showing that they never learn.

With that, I bring the amalgamation of the two debates between Mel Levine and Larry Greenfield.

ML: “There has never been as extraordinary a candidate as Barack Obama, who is better for the U.S.-Israel relationship, who can restore America.”

“President Bush went on a European tour and could not even speak publicly.”

“Caroline Kennedy said that ‘Obama is running a dignified and honest campaign. Those around him have the highest ethical standards.'”

“My life is dedicated to Israel’s survival.”

“Obama wants a strong America and a strong Israel.”

“He has an extraordinary authenticity. He is not poll driven. He is consistent with different audiences.”

“In Ramallah, he lectured Palestinian students about the need for a secure Israel.”

“The RJC questions democrats with regard to their commitment to Israel. This is deeply offensive.”

“Obama is perfect on Israel. He has stated that a nuclear Iran is unacceptable, and that military action is on the table.”

“On Israel, Obama is no different from McCain in terms of objectives.”

“President Bush is responsible for high gas prices.”

“Obama believes that we need to fight terror the right way, not as a lone ranger. We need an international coalition.”

“He can engage Muslims. There is no harsh partisanship coming from Obama.”

“McCain is a hero. I am fond of him personally. Yet thanks to George W. Bush, we are more isolated in the world than ever. This is bad for Israel. I sreal needs a strong respected America.”

“Thomas Friedman in the New York Times supports Obama. He writes, ‘I don’t vote on Israel. I vote on America. A strong America is good for Israel. President Bush believes in Israel, but he has no energy policy, and the Middle East hates us. Forget what is in his heart. Richard Nixon had good actions. Obama will reverse Bush’s failure under Iran, which has been dangerous. Bush refused to use diplomacy. Try diplomacy first. Get cooperation from Russia and China.”

LG: “In 1992, the Jewish republican vote was 10%. It could be 50/50 in 10 years. Reasons for this include rising Anti-zionism and anti-semitism coming from the left on college campuses.”

“Why are Jews becoming more conservative today? On issues such as school choice and competition, merit pay for teachers, and breaking the monopoly on the NEA…and health care, getting lawyers out of doctors’ offices…republicans ask ‘What works?'”

“Technology, not taxes, leads to investment.”

“The GOP is a green elephant. ANWR is a 2000 acre postage stamp. New technology allows us to drill without doing any harm to any animals or the environment.”

“Politics used to stop at the water’s edge. We were unified during World War II. Since Vietnam, the left wing has launched an assault on our military. Durbin, Murtha, Reid, and Kerry have slandered our troops. Luckily, our troops have more maturity and dignity than their critics. Democratic Congressman James Clyburn admitted that good news for Iraq is bad news for the democrats.”

“The democrats opposed missile defense systems, which save Israel.”

“In the 1990s, the United States was seen by Bin Laden and others as a paper Tiger. This was due to a string of liberal retreats from Vietnam to Afghanistan after the Russians left to Blackhawk Down.”

“Democrats pushed the Armenian Genocide Resolution. While it may have been worthwhile, it angered a critical ally in Turkey at a critical time.”

“Organizations such as Moveon.org ran disgusting ads against General David Petraeus.”

“In 22 democratic debates, not once did the democrats mention Islamofacism. Radical Islam is 1400 years old. Democrats don’t understand this.”

“John McCain took his first trip to Israel in 1979, under the tutelage of Scoop Jackson. He has been grounded for 30 years in the understanding of the U.S. alliance with Israel. He went to Sderot, and saw the Qassam rockets rein down.”

“McCain is anti-earmark. Obama secured an earmarl for his wife’s employer. McCain is the reformer.”

“We will never know all of McCain’s stories. People need to know the story of Colonel Bud Day. Bud Day was captured and tortured, as was McCain. They left Day’s arms in a manner that would never allow them to grow right. Bud Day asked John McCain to break his arms, so that they could be reset properly. McCain refused because he did not want to break Day’s arms. Day insisted. McCain then broke Day’s arms, and used bamboo to reattach them properly. Colonel Bud Day is 85 years old now, and still flying. This is the man that is John McCain.”

ML: “The late Tom Lantos supported Obama, as does Congressman Howard Berman.”

“It is shameful and loonie to suggest we are respected in Europe. Why did England become anti-Israel? Because of the way this administration handles foreign policy.”

“Democrats are always being attacked for their patriotism. John Kerry was swiftboated. Dick Durbin does support the troops. It is not constructive to sling names.”

“On Iran, we need activist diplomacy.”

LG: “The notion that our relations around the world are damaged is absolutely false. South Korea, Japan, India, Australia, Mexico, Canada, Germany, and France all have governments that are Pro-America and Pro-Israel. Red Ken Livingstone was voted out as Mayor of London, while Silvio Berlusconi is back in power in Italy.”

“Foreign policy is not about being liked. We are a superpower, which automatically means we will not be liked. Dumping allies like Israel would make us more liked. We will not do that.”

“Obama wants unilateral meetings with Iran, Syria, and Venezuela. He cites Kennedy meeting with Kruschev, which was a complete disaster. Kennedy was seen as young and naive. Kennedy’s blunder led to the Cuban Missile Crisis and the Bay of Pigs. Obama cites Reagan meeting with Gorbachev. Reagan took it to Gorbachev, the same Gorbachev who kicked Ted Kennedy out of his office. Reagan had missiles pointed at Russia, and called them an Evil Empire. Only then did he meet with Gorbachev.”

“Obama wants a contiguous Palestinian state. Then he states that he wants an undivided Jerusalem.”

“Obama is surrounded by radical left wing advisors and anti-Israel activists.”

ML: “The RJC is linking Zbigniew to Obama in an attempt to swiftboat Obama.”

“David Bonior is not an anti-semite. I do not agree with everything Bonior says, but McCain is no better than Bonior on Israel. Bonior is better on Israel than McCain according to AIPAC.”

“I am a foriegn policy advisor to Obama, as are Tony Lake, Bob Wexler, Tom Daschle, and Dianne Feinstein.”

“McCain wants to drill along the coastline. His answer to everything is drill, drill, drill.”

“A contiguous Palestinian state means within the West Bank. The RJC is to the right of Israel on this issue.”

LG: “Don’t smear by association? An administration is the association. Obama’s advisors are fair game. We are told to be quiet in case Obama wins.”

“Rasheed Khalid and Edward Said raised money for Palestinian refugee camps. Then there is William Ayers…ACORN…Saul Alinksy…”

“Back in Chicago, Ali Abuminah spoke of an ‘Electronic Intifada.’ Obama told Abuminah and their mutual Palestinian friends to ‘tone it down for awhile.’ Obama did not want any rhetoric coming to light while he was trying to build his political career.”

“Obama is against the security fence. We live in a world of walls, and the fence prevents attacks.”

“Obama opposed the Kyl-Lieberman Amendment, which labeled the Iranian Revolutionary Guard a terrorist organization.”

“The Reverend Wright is fair game because it calls into question Obama’s judgment. Obama sat silently through 20 years of bigotry.”

“Robert Malley met with Hamas.”

“Obama voted against John Bolton, who overturned the UN resolution declaring that Zionism is racism.”

“Obama has made it clear on more than one occasion that, in his words, ‘It is not necessary to be Pro-Likud to be Pro-Israel.’ If Likud comes back into power, which is very likely, this raises concerns of how Obama would behave.”

ML: “Obama opposed Iraq provisions in the Kyle-Lieberman Amendment.”

“The Arab American Action Network is just a charity. Obama told them he supports Israel. To say otherwise is swiftboating.”

“AIPAC says Obama is perfect on Israel. Obama went to Idaho, where there are almost no Jews, and spoke to people about Israel.”

“The RJC has been malicious and defamatory. They have referred to him as B. Hussein Obama. Some people will stoop to any level to win.”

LG: “Lieberman was tossed out of the democratic party on military issues alone.”

“The RJC never attacked Obama on any Muslim stuff. We are into facts, not smears.”

“According to Lieberman, the top foreign policy objective of the democrats is to deny success.”

“McCain supports the F-22 fighter, which can reach Iran. Obama is against the F-22.”

“Bloomberg supports Kyl-Lieberman.”

“Tony McPeak is another advisor that condemned Israel’s strike on Syria. McPeak blames American foreign policy on powerful Jewish forces in New York and Miami.”

“George Soros is another supporter. He hates AIPAC.”

“Robert Malley did meet with Hamas, and Samantha Power did say we should end aid to Israel.”

“Obama has as an advisor former Congressman David Bonior, who has a history of being anti-Israel.”

ML: “With regards to Pastor Wright, I am not supporting Wright. I am supporting Obama.”

“Obama’s first book is inspirational. He helped the South Side of Chicago black community.”

“Obama said that he never heard Pastor Wright’s offensive words.”

(The crowd groaned at that.)

“Catholics are not leaving the Church because of the pedophilia scandal. The test for President is who he is, not who his supporters are.”

“McPeak is respected.”

“I would rather listen to the IDF than the RJC.”

LG: “I care what Israelis think. Obama is anti-Likud.”

“There is no more bipartisanship on Israel. The AAAN is anti-semitic.”

“Jimmy Carter is the head of democrats abroad. Lieberman left the party.”

“There are two types of black cultural leaders, those that want to reach across and heal, and those that want to exploit divisions. Obama threw his grandmother under the bus. He did not leave the Church. Obama’s left wing Chicago background is his ideology.”

“Left wing churches call for divestment from Israel.”

“There have been 14 attacks by Mel Levine against the RJC. He names Jewish Congressmen that support Obama. Liberals dominate conservatives 40-3 among Jews in Congress. of course they back Obama.”

“The RJC is not smearing Obama, and there is guilt in some of his associations.”

“Obama cannot be counted on to stand by Israel in a time of crisis.”

ML: “The RJC attacks Obama’s acquaintances. Obama was attacked by some in Chicago for being too close to the Jews.”

“I would not be for Obama if he was bad for Israel. Brad Sherman, Henry Waxman, and Jane Harman are all Pro-Israel. Israel needs deep bipartisanship, not the rhetoric of the RJC.”

The debate then turned to the Supreme Court.

LG: “McCain believes in Federalism. He wants quality jurists such as Roberts and Alito. The focus is not on social issues. McCain opposes a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage. He wants to let the laboratory of democracy work.”

“For those Christians in the room, thank you for supporting Israel. We can argue in 1000 years over whether the coming of Jesus will be his first or second visit.”

“McCain crossed the aisle on judges. Yet he understands that terrorists and enemy combatants are not criminal defendants. The recent Supreme Court gave them more rights than American troops.”

“Kelo vs New London was a 5-4 decision. McCain thinks Roe vs Wade was bad law, which many liberal scholars such as Lawrence Tribe agree. Obama is poorly advised to favor abortion over national security.”

ML: “McCain wants an imbalanced court. He wants Roe vs Wade overturned. He is cloaked in low key moderation. He supports all Bush nominees.”

“Obama does not believe in litmus tests. He wants pro-choice judges.”

“McCain in 2000 was a maverick. In 2008 he said that America is a Christian nation.”

“McCain aggressively sought an endorsement from Pastor Hagee.”

“The religious left can also be intolerant and hostile, but they have less impact. The religious right has credibility, and are a danger to civil rights and civil liberties. They are a threat to Jewish liberties. There should be a wall of separation between Church and State, which runs counter to Christian theology.”

The debate then turned to foreign policy and foreign oil.

ML: “The GOP’s answer is to drill everywhere. Democrats understand that the environmental impact is important. Federal spending is necessary for environmental improvement. I have no confidence that the successor to Bush and Cheney will be free of big oil. Republicans are blocking a windfall profits tax. As for Iran, Obama has said that all options are on the table. Obama supported the Israel exercise a few days ago. Iran is a major state with major goals. Only one of those goals is destroying Israel. Obama is not proposing a Kumbaya session. I want Iran to stop terror. We emboldened extremists. President Bush strengthened Iran.

LG: “The key is new technology, not new taxes. Democrats block other options. I personally am still smarting from the smear against 50-100 million Christians. There is no Israel without them. With oil, McCain is for immediate techniques, and democrats block them. There are no wind farms off of Nantucket. As for Iran, Persians saved Jews after the destruction of the First Temple. Persians are not Arabs. Persians have a deep history. They invented many things, including chess. Those who say that the NIE report about Iran stated that they stopped their WMD program in 2003 are wrong. That report remains classified. Diplomacy and sanctions failed. The EU 3 failed. Iran has been at war with us for 30 years. The clock is ticking. Israelis feel that they have cover with President Bush. When asked how far they would go to stop Iran, an Israeli General said, “1100 kilometers.”

(The crowd laughed heartily.)

“Democrats like to say that liberal Jews rescued blacks, and Ethiopian Jews as well. Yet it was republicans that truly rescued blacks. Republicans passed the 13th, 14th, and 15th amendments. It was racist white democrats that gave us Andrew Johnson, Woodrow Wilson, and the KKK. The GOP is the party of liberation. The democrats are the party of slavery.”

It was at this point that one of the debates got very ugly. A left wing activist that sponsored the first debate felt that his sponsorship gave him a right to sully the event. He said he had a question to ask, but the question just turned into a diatribe. I know the man personally, and he has been kind to me. This does not mitigate the fact that he acted like the deranged man in the town square.

“Americans are an obstacle to removing Syria. To say that Radical Islam has existed for 1400 years is an insult.”

The diatribe continued, because left wing Jews are more threatened by Jewish republicans wielding words, and Jew-loving Christians wielding a book, than Islamofacists wielding bombs and tools used to behead many, including left wing Jews.

When the man yelled that “not all Muslims are like this,” Larry Greenfield responded that, “Enough Muslims are crazy, and those are the ones in power.”

There was back and forth, when I jokingly yelled out, “Jews never argue, why start now!”

The crowd laughed, and order was restored once the left wing verbal bully was subdued.

The rules for a debate should be very simple. The only speakers should be the debaters, with careful facilitation from the moderator. Questioners should ask actual questions, not make statements. They should then sit down and be quiet, and listen to the answers.

The second debate was much calmer, with a brief allusion to the instigator of the chaos in the first debate slipped in.

ML: “Robert Malley was never an adviser. Congressman Robert Wexler supports Obama. So do other liberals. Tom Daschle does as well. It is disturbing that we object to Obama having Palestinian friends. Obama claims that he is not close to Rasheed Khalid. Tony McPeak supports Israel. Obama is standing here today due to Tikkun Olam.”

Several questions were asked, and the answers rehashed much of the debate. One pointless question asked about the candidates and their positions on abortion. The crowd groaned, knowing this was a waste of time. The candidates disagree, and their positions are well known. Mel Levine keeps referring to being pro-choice on abortion as being “consistent with Jewish values.” Nothing in the Torah mentions this. It is one thing when liberal try to make up unspoken words of the Founding Fathers. It is another when they decide that God supports the NOW.

My question of Mel Levine was about the liberal Jews supporting Obama.

“Mr. Levine, you have cited several liberal Jewish Congresspeople and a columnist for the Jayson Blair Times supporting Obama as something significant. Why should liberals supporting liberals matter? I am a conservative supporting John McCain, and I do not expect that to carry any more weight than those you cite. Why should it? Also, you spend very little time criticizing John McCain, preferring to go after President Bush and the RJC. Are you aware they are not on the ballot, because I know democrats have trouble reading ballots. Is McCain that good that you have nothing to criticize him about?

My question was sandwiched between a couple of left wing people engaging in filibusters, including one woman that tried to ask a question twice. It was the height of selfishness. Thankfully, when enough people pointed out that she had spoken once, her second turn was taken away. My question was never really answered, although this was less deliberate avoidance than time constraints brought on by other “questioners” sapping up time. People like this are another reason to support the National Rifle Association.

The closing arguments were a stark contrast.

ML: “Southern California is a wonderful window into Jewish views.”

“President Bush has done much harm. The world hates us. We need to work with the United Nations.”

“The Middle East has oil. All McCain wants to do is drill.”

“Again, Tom Friedman in the New York Times gives us his many reasons why we need to repair the damage done by President Bush.”

“Prominent GOP Senators privately like Obama.”

LG: “Jihad is a major issue, but democrats won’t say the words Islamofacism, Islamic Fundamentalism, or Radical Islam. The issue is Jihad. Democrats think these terrorists can be arrested as criminals.”

Before continuing the conclusion, a brief aside is in order. The individual that marred the first debate had an hour to himself before the second debate. He was allowed to speak unchallenged, which is how he likes it. He said that since the Israeli Government of Ehud Ohlmert is negotiating with Syria, American Jews should support that point of view. We should listen to the Israeli Government.

This led me to ask him a question. He knew who I was, but that did not stop me.

“You say that we should listen to the Israeli Prime Minister. Given that the Israeli Prime Minister is registering single digits in the polls, and is about as popular as Rush Limbaugh at a NOW conference, isn’t this peace process simply a desperate man trying to accomplish anything before being fired? Hasn’t he been discredited already?”

Many in the crowd roared with approval. The man responded.

“Ehud Ohlmert was elected on a platform of territorial concession for true peace.”

That answer is false. Ehud Ohlmert road Ariel Sharon’s coattails to power. Ariel Sharon was a warrior, known as “The Bulldozer.” People trusted him to make peace. People grieving over Sharon voted for Ohlmert in the same manner that LBJ won in America due to grief over JFK.

I bring this tangent up because while it was a separate session, those remarks of the prior speaker featured into the closing of this debate.

LG: “The previous speaker had a whole hour, and mentioned that we should listen to the Israeli Government. No. We should listen to the Israeli people, who have rejected this government. Listen to the Israelis. Accords, sanctions, and conferences have been tried. Israelis have rejected Ohlmert.”

“Obama does not hate Jews. He is just a Daily Kos democrat, not a Democratic Leadership Council democrat.”

“70% of the American people support Israel. The figure is 90% among republican men, and drifitng ever lower among democrats as the left drifts away.”

“Obama has zero history on Israel. He says different things to Jewish and Arab audiences. He opposed the security fence. He was absent on the Zionism vs racism fight, but voted against the fighter to overturn that resolution, Ambassador John Bolton.”

“John McCain is a bipartisan and a moderate. He has served on the Armed Services Committee.”

“Barack Obama is tied to Rasheed Khalid and Edward Said, not just the Palestinians.”

“John McCain is a leader. He is a hero. He is sophisticated. He is resolute.”

I spoke to Mel Levine after both debates. One of the things he likes to do is state that since his Israel credentials are beyond reproach (I agree, his career is fabulous on Israel.), any criticism of Obama would be an indictment of Mr. Levine himself because he supports Obama.

This is ridiculous. I am staunchly pro-Israel, and I support John McCain. Neither I or Mel Levine have an absolute last word, to quote Maureen Dowd fawning over Cindy Sheehan.

The left likes to use debates to claim that the right does not have the right to debate at all. Mel Levine attacked the RJC repeatedly and mercilessly. He also went after President Bush pretty hard, which is fine. He could not find much to criticize about John McCain, so he simply indicts anybody that criticizes Obama in any way.

Mel Levine requested that my conversations with him after both debates be off the record. I shall respect his wishes, even though betraying his trust could blunt his ability to be an effective Obama spokesman. I gave him my word.

Although the debates were combined for this column, the first debate was a draw, with Larry winning on substance but Mel winning on style. The harsh left wing environment was not helpful. The second debate was in a more neutral environment, and Larry won by a landslide according to the crowd.

I made it clear to Larry that if he turns in a bad performance, I will be the first to tell him. The goal is not to assuage feelings. That is for liberals. The goal is to get our message across as effectively as possible. Conservatives allow for self criticism.

As for the many reasons why Mel Levine is wrong, it will take another complete column to get into that.

As a conservative, I walked away from the debates emboldened. 15 years ago, these debates would have been pointless. Times are changing, and as Larry pointed out, the 90/10 split for Jews in favor of the democrats is headed towards a 50/50 showdown in the near future.

This makes for a stronger republican party. It forces the democrats to reevaluate where theyw ent wrong, which is healthy for their party.

This also benefits Jews. We have gone from being ignored by one party and takena dvantage of by the other to becoming a powerful voting bloc coveted by both.

Thankfully, Mel Levine and Larry Greenfield would agree that a strong Jewish voting bloc being great for the Jews is beyond debate.

eric

The Chicago Cannonball and I went to a lecture to hear author Salman Rushdie speak.

Before going any further, I will be the first person to admit that sometimes I am not the most perceptive person on the planet. Being perceptive herself, the Chicago Cannonball has noticed this.

During the movie “Life is Beautiful,” which I thought was a love story about a bumbler, at the midpoint of the movie I yelled out, “What the heck? This is a Holocaust movie!” Watching “The Sound of Music” on video gave me the same shock. I thought it was a 2 hour love story, but apparently there was a third hour that had nothing to do with happy people singing “So long, fare well.”

As for the event with Salman Rushdie, I was expecting a political event. After all, this man has had more dangerous Fatwas against him than me. Heck, unlike my hate mail from hostile members of the NOW, this man had real serious Fatwas. It has been so long since the death threats against him were issued that I forgot that he was never even a politician. He was just a guy who wrote books.

The Chicago Cannonball pointed out that we were in the Writers’ Guild Theatre, but I never made the connection. Midway through the evening, which was devoid of politics, I thought to myself, “What the heck? I am attending a literature discussion.”

Fine. I’m a pinhead. I just don’t go to literature discussions. It’s not my thing. Nevertheless, it was a pleasant evening.

While the Fatwa was lifted years ago, some extremists did not feel it was revocable. Yet while I went to see Mr. Rushdie expecting maximum security, I was shocked that there was no security. When I say none, I mean absolutely none. We just walked in. It was like going to see some guy talk about a book.

At some point during the evening I decided that I was not going to ask Mr. Rushdie to do an interview with me. I had never read any of his books, and his intellect was so far above mine that I could not ask him any literary questions worthy of his time. The only thing I would want to ask him about was his fatwa over writing the Satanic Verses, which I suspect he simply would not want to discuss.

His newest book is “Echantress of Florence.” The person asking him questions was actress Carrie Fisher. The conversation was very disjointed. It seemed very unstructured. Rather than ask questions, she would interject periodically. It was an uneven flow, but Mr. Rushdie breezed through the conversation effortlessly.

With that, I shall bring the brilliance of Salman Rushdie, who again, is a fellow who writes books.

“My book is not an epic. It is an epiquette. It is a ‘Reader’s Digest Epic.'”

“Some people are upset that I have a bibliography, like doing so is showing off. a form of bullying.”

“My book involves gardeners, except that the gardeners are royal executioners.”

“There are different strata. For condemned women, they get sacked and stoned. For condemned men, there is ritual strangulation. It is done by many men, but at least they do not know the number of them. For condemned aristocrats, they are given the option to spin and run away. If they escape, they get exiled instead of executed. However, the head gardener is chosen for his running speed, so it just delays the inevitable.”

“Who would not use Kharma Sutra as a choice? The creator of Kharma Sutra was an ornithologist. That is why during sex people make and hear bird noises.”

“Nails can be used to increase sexual pleasure, but people don’t want to know where they are placed.”

“This what I consider to be fun research.”

“In Florence, male homosexuality was rampant, which led to a decline in birth rates. The Vatican built a Red Light District to show boys in Downtown Florence that girls were cool. Only homosexual prostitutes were punished. The brothel worked, because the population is still there.”

“The Rennaissance is when witches went from being hunched and warty to being gorgeous, sucha s Cerces.”

“All women need all men less than all men think. This is why I write of an invented woman. It is easy to divorce an invented woman. One just replaces her.”

“Machiavelli has a bad rap. He was not even Machiavellian.”

“The world of the 16th century was better than any romance novel.”

“People back then believed deeply in magic. They believed in love potions and hexes, not science.”

“Who did people go to? There were people. They didn’t have signs up.”

Mr Rushdie then shifted away from his new book to himself.

“I don’t get 5 out of 10 reviews. I either get a negative one or an 11, but not inbetween.”

When asked about being compared to his previous work, Mr. Rushdie replied, “Compared to yourself? In my case, that is a terrible fate.”

“It is good to be young and hot, or dead. The critics get more generous. Chronology stops mattering, and one is excused from the competition with oneself. After one id dead they cannot be in decline.”

“When the author who wrote ‘Catch 22’ was told that he did not write anything better than this work, he replied, ‘but neither has anybody else.'”

“Good writing divides readers.”

“To quote another famous author, ‘Some books should not be put down. They should be hurled across the room with great force.'”

“I decided on lecturing at Emory because nobody else asked me.”

“My condition for doing it was that I would not do any grading. It was going to be pass or fail.”

“I would like to apologize for my past advertising career. I did an advertisement for creamcakes. I called them ‘naughty but nice.’ They make people fat.”

In a surreal moment, Mr. Rushdie then mentioned his work at Clairol on the ‘Nice and Easy’ campaign in the same story as a local police officer that was doing an impression of a character on ‘Starsky and Hutch.’

“The man desperately wanted to clear the streets, but it was not necessary. Everything was fine. Finally, he asked again, and he I told him he could. He was so happy, everybody dispersed, and then moments later went back into the streets to do what they were doing before he needlessly interrupted.”

He then told some bizarre but true stories.

“Some incompetent con artist tried to impersonate me. He called people up, and said that he needed exactly $409.34 to be brought to a Rite Aid. He had an American accent.”

“Somebody has a fake My SPace page where they are impersonating me. The page uses my name. The profile says that I have ‘been in hiding, am out now, and I need friends.'”

When Ms. Fisher asked about any fake E-Harmony accounts, he rapidly replied, “No, it’s J-Date.”

The crowd howled with delight, and The Chicago Cannonball and I took special joy in that remark.

He continued entertaining the crowd.

“With regards to critics, this may be hard to believe, but the literary world can sometimes be meanspirited.”

“Big guns require having big ammunition.”

When asked about how he enjoyed his life, he replied that “I wake up every morning, and win another prize.”

Ms. Fisher then carefully alluded to his being divorced, since apparently his wife was not comfortable having a price on her head due to her choice of spouse. When asked if he enjoyed traveling as a single man, he replied that “There are hot women everywhere.”

When Ms. Fisher asked if this was even the case in Milwaukee, Mr. Rushdie replied, “Yes…on J-Date.”

He then told more stories.

“When Christopher Hitchens and I get together, we come up with other names for various works.”

“Hamlet is the Elsinore Vacillation. Othello is the kerchief Misapprehension. There is also The Big Gatsby, Farewell to Weapons, Mr. Zhivago, For Whom the Bell Rings, and Hitch 22.”

“Hitchens went to Oxford. I was at the other place.”

“I even overlapped with Prince Charles. He gives good overlap.”

“How does England make due with only one language?”

“In America, they play football with pointy balls.”

“The trick to being hated comes down to three things. First, you have to be clever. Second, you have to be foreign. Third, you have to be bad at games. This is the triple whammy. If you only possess two of these qualities, you will be ok without the third.”

“One person I knew when I was 18 recognized me at age 60. To remove 42 years, not even a good plastic surgeon can do that. I let the fellow know that I did not like him back then, and I still don’t.”

“Since being knighted, only journalists call me ‘Sir Salman Rushdie.’ We don’t even get armor. T he ceremony is nerve wracking. The Queen is 82 years old, and she is holding a sword. There is a big backlog. They only do these ceremonies twice per year. Pop stars get knighted right away, as do theatre people. With prose, it happens rarely.”

“Making a good play or movie adaptation of a book requires being most disrespectful to the text. Fans of the book hate this, but those going in blind love it.”

“As for acting, it is difficult for me to even play Salman Rushdie. I want to be nice, not arrogant. Also, there were not enough lines.”

“I played Helen Hunt’s OBGYN. This was method acting. An ultrasound is like a spaceship.”

“‘Alice in Wonderland’ made me want to write.”

“I love ‘The Wizard of Oz,’ but I hate Toto. He is a yapping hairpiece.”

“I once received a fan letter from somebody who was featured as one of the Munchkins. In fact, he was the Muchkin coroner. He sent me a gift certificate with with my name on it instead of the Wicked Witch. So I actually have a framed Muchkin death certificate.”

Ms. Fisher then read Mr. RUshdie a passage from his own book. Mr. Rushdie replied, “I agree with him.”

He was then asked about his religiosity.

“I believe an all powerful God infantilizes us. I prefer to work it out myself. When asked how I can have an ethical life outside of religion, I respond ‘Rather easily.'”

He was then asked about how he got back to normal following his Fatwas.

“The key is to bore people back into normalcy. When you keep showing up, people lose interest.”

“India is my home. I have never lived in Pakistan, although my parents did.”

“After a few days in India, my dreams even switch languages. I become another version of myself.”

(At that point I pictured Nancy Wilson of Heart singing the song ‘These Dreams. I kept that to myself rather than disturb the room.)

Mr. Rushdie then told a fabulous story about a tough woman in a previous audience.

“The woman said, ‘I read your novel through and through. It was very long, but that is not the issue. After reading it all I have to ask…what’s your point?’

I then tried to answer her, but the woman cut me off and said, ‘I know what you are going to say. The whole book is your point. That is what you were going to say, wasn’t it?’

When I told her that she was correct, the woman replied, ‘That won’t do.'”

He then offered some fascinating insight.

“I am not didactic. I am not trying to teach you. I don’t want to be lectured. Leave space for the reader.”

“I hated having to constantly explain what I meant in the Satanic Verses. Every writer detests explaining everything. They do not like determining the text. Overdetermining a book ruins it. People should read books without knowing the author.”

“As for why I have an American version of my books, it is because I have an American publisher. It was Winston Churchill who said that the United States and Great Britain were separated by a common language.”

“In America, quite is positive. It means better than. In British English, it means adequate or average. When I got to America, and was told that my book was quite good, I was insulted.”

I had the pleasure of meeting Salman Rushdie after his lecture. The conversation lasted between one and two minutes.

“Mr. Rushdie, if I lived in a vacuum, based on this lecture only, I would think that you were the most non-controversial person on the planet. You don’t seem controversial.”

He laughed, and made it clear that he was fine with that.

I then asked him how he felt about the problem Mark Steyn is having in Canada, given what he himself went through. His reply was simple yet important.

“I am aware of what is happening in Canada, and it is vital that we have freedom of speech.”

It was an absolute pleasure meeting him and hearing him speak, even if it was a literary event and not a political one. I suspect that my disappointment in that fact was a joy for Mr. Rushdie. He now lives in a world where people can just walk into a theatre and listen to him talk about a book, free from other political nonsense that he never sought.

I cannot imagine how it could have been worse for him.

Actually I can. He could have publicly converted to Judaism.

I suspect the only conversion that night were those unfamiliar with his works becoming fans of his.

eric

While removing Roman Candle residue from my (redacted) with a spatula, I keep thinking of the song “Love Hurts.” Nevertheless, my love life has nothing to do with this column.

Barack Obama has gotten into hot water during the course of the 2008 Presidential campaign for his association with a Chicago church that traffics in bigotry.

Even in its most eloquent form, “Hate Whitey! Amen!” does not inspire everybody.

Nevertheless, here is how I would have handled the issue. While my proposed solution
will most likely offend more people than Pastor Wrong and Pastor Phlegm combined, I hope that Christian America accepts that this column was written after suffering a reverse Independence Day fireworks accident that left me with 11 fingers. Thankfully the extra one is another middle one, for when I am driving in traffic.

With that, I now do my version of a Barack Obama press conference, with my chin and nose tilted at a 54 degree angle as recommended in “The Onion.”

“My fellow Americans,

I have been asked on many occasions how I could sit in a church for 20 years, and then claim that I did not hear one offensive word that many others did hear. These are reasonable questions, and it is time that I reveal the entire truth.

Know, I am not Jesus, despite the iconic status I have reached. Nevertheless, based on my popularity, this revelation might be even more significant.

Here is the reason I heard nothing all those years in church.

America. Be honest. Church is boring.

Church is so colossally, mind numbingly dull.

Have you people seen Reverend Lovejoy on the Simpsons? That is church.

For every true believer inside a church, there are 10 or 20 people that were dragged there by the one family member that would not let them sleep in.

For those of you on the West Coast, even waiting until Noon to attend Mass means missing the fourth quarter of an exciting National Football League game. Living in Chicago, I don’t even get to see the kickoff.

Some would ask if I could have switched churches. With all respect to white America, your churches are even more insufferably boring. At least black churches have fire and brimstone. The topics are slightly less dull when the Pastor is screaming. Passion can paper over dry subject matter. White churches are more honest. The Pastor puts you to sleep, because he admits he has nothing to work with.

I am not an Atheist. I believe in God. I also understand that if God is everywhere all the time, he can be worshiped after the game is over. At least let a believer sleep in. Yet Churches all start their Sunday morning services in the morning.

For those who do not know, my home state of Illinois is home to the world headquarters of McDonalds. It would be nice if the few times I make it out of bed early enough to catch their breakfast sandwiches, I instead get dragged to church.

For those of you with no children, I have every right to be tired after a long week raising two kids. Yes, Michelle does most of the work, but they wake me up when they yell as well. Five bowls of sugar cereal do not lead to them being quiet enough for me to relax.

Sure I could take them to church, but why punish them? They are good kids. Unless they do something wrong, I see no reason to interrupt their cartoons and video games.

It is time that Christians, Jews and Muslims unite and admit that whatever your faith, you are bored out of your skulls in temple. Rumor has it that the Jews are not allowed to deal with money on their holy day. They must be the chosen people. They do not have to get woken up in the middle of a service to feed the collection plate. If you want me to donate money, stop waking me up in the middle of the service.

As for atheists, I have no use for you. You are a liability in a general election campaign, so just vote for me, and stay as far out of camera range as Muslim women wearing Burkhas. Americans like their leaders to be deeply religious without talking about it. So even though I fall asleep in church, I am deeply religious. Do not question me, or I will accuse you of criticizing my beliefs.

For those of you who are Pagans, Wiccans, Mormons, Morona, Gorgons, and other religions united by their having two syllables, I respect you all.

For those of you multisyllabic Christians, of course I know the difference between an Episcopalian and a Presbyterian. I would get bored explaining it to you. As for Southern Baptists, we should not see Northerners as intolerant even though the Northern Baptists have been wiped out of existence.

My campaign welcomes female Western Baptists as well as Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgendered Eastern Baptists.

As for Lutherans, while I personally consider myself Superman, I support your right to worship Lex Luther (I wish I knew who I stole that from. He was bald.).

Feel free to worship as you see fit, just do not talk to me about it.

Also, whether you are a Jew for Jesus, a Christian for Mohammed, a Muslim for Moses, or a Hari Krishna, all I ask is what all Americans ask.

Keep your music down and stop handing me leaflets. I want to get from my temple to my car without being handled leaflets. I refuse to accept paperwork in church, so I desire it even less outside of the holy places of worship.

So again my fellow Americans, rather than focus on reading texts, why not honor God with a more traditional method, a multi-hour moment of silence.

For those of you who see me with my nose in the air looking self important, I am really praying silently. You should do the same.

Since silence can be practiced everywhere, I prefer to practice mine at home, in my nice comfortable bed, while Michelle does whatever it is she does.

I am the greatest Orator from Cicero, but please do not consider my condescending lectures to be sermons. I would be insulted that you would find me as uninteresting as I find you.

May God Bless our troops, because all speeches require saying that. We must pull out of Iraq immediately because we support them.

Thank you, and may God Bless America.”

I have never run a winning campaign, but I know THAT such honest blunt words would be enough to put Barack Obama over the top in both Massachusetts and Washington, D.C.

eric

The Tygrrrr Express is in San Diego. Unlike Los Angeles, San Diego has a strong military presence. July 4th is a great day to be in a city that loves our heroes.

The Chicago Cannonball and I will visit the beautiful island of Coronado, with another happy couple. There was a fireworks extravanganza last night in Downtown San Diego, and the four of us will then watch the fireworks tonight in Carlsbad before making it back to the City of Angels.

I know what July 4th means to me. Independence Day is special. Before offering my own wistfulness, I would rather let some of the finest people associated with the finest military in the world offer their heartfelt sentiments. Without these brave heroes, the miracle that began in 1776 would be paler by comparison. Below are their July 4th memories, and what Independence Day means to them.

 

ADMIRAL LEIGHTON SNUFFY SMITH

A simple answer: I think of what our forefathers sacrificed so that we could be free to work, pray and socialize as we wished. I think of Bosnia, and how I saw many people die for those very same things. I think of Iraq and Afghanistan and the number of people doing the same. We are so very lucky to have what we have yet we seldom seem to understand just what we do have in comparison to the rest of the world.

SS

 

 

 

 

RETIRED SOLDIER AND CONSERVATIVE BLOGGER SNOOPER

What does the 4th of July mean to me?

It means the Spirit of American Freedom reigns supreme throughout the world and that the vast majority of Americans, when the chips are down, will do whatever it takes to remain free.

It reminds me that when facing odds seemingly stacked against us, we as a nation will always rise to the top.

Currently, I reside in the GREAT Republic of Texas as does my son who has recently returned from the War In Iraq. I am a retired DAV and have served my nation since 1976.

As Francis Scott Key was writing our National Anthem, I can only imagine the sight of which he beheld. Every time I myself returned across The Wire and caught a glimpse of our Flag flying, chills traveled up and down my spine and that experience remains with me to this day. The American Flag represents that which millions of others wish they had. Why else is it that millions try to get to the United States and millions are not trying to leave?

July 4th, to me, represents that which no other country in the world has…True Freedom. And I and millions like me are more than willing to give the ultimate sacrifice for our way of life, politics be damned.

COLONEL AL FRACKER

Our family vacation was always spent “up north” in a one-room cabin in the woods on the 4th of July. So, when someone mentions the 4th of July, my very first thought is standing next to a bonfire by Nichols Lake in mid Michigan, the smoky scent of hot dogs tantalizing my nose and irritating my eyes. The words “freedom” and “independence” were thrown around as my Dad and relatives drank beer, ate, and retreated from long days working in a factory or climbing poles for Consumer Power Company, but those words meant little to me, as I was born free.

Ten years later, and the 4th of July meant so much more. I thought of my older brother who was born on July 2nd, the day the Declaration of Independence was signed, and how proud he was at 17 to be a Marine. Some say he died a needless death attacking the city of Hue. Three days after learning of his death, we received a letter from him describing a huge beetle he found that he wanted to add to our insect collection, and as a side note, he said not to worry because he was happy promoting freedom in a different land. Naïve? Maybe so, but poignant nonetheless.

My first official day in the Army was July 2nd, 1972, and following a two day bus trip, I remember vividly the physical pain of push-ups, gorilla stomps, inverted crawls, and grass drills executed on the 4th of July. The utter frustration of being powerless on the receiving end of verbal and physical abuse highlighted the paradox, “one must lose freedom to gain freedom”… in other words, much like the song, “You don’t know what you’ve got ‘til it’s gone”.

Fast forward another 35 years, and I’m part cynic and part optimist. The cynic laments our public’s concept of freedom on this special day and latches onto cautionary excerpts sent from a friend. A Scottish History professor from University of Edinburgh in 1787 cites: “A democracy will continue to exist up until the time that voters discover they can vote themselves generous gifts from the public treasury. From that moment on the majority always vote for the candidates who promise the most benefits from the public treasury with the result that every democracy will finally collapse due to loose fiscal policy, which is always followed by dictatorship.” He describes the cycle as, “from bondage to spiritual faith…from spiritual faith to great courage…from great courage to liberty…from liberty to abundance…from abundance to complacency…from complacency to apathy…from apathy to dependence…from dependence back into bondage”.

The optimist in me suggests this 4th of July will mean the same to me now as it did almost fifty years ago. We’ll build a fire and scrounge up some hot dogs. I’ll remember the coolness of the lake, my Dad’s strong laugh, and Uncle Joe losing his false teeth while water skiing…not once, but two years running. And these innocent memories will be accompanied kindly by a depth of convictions, experience, and reality…convictions of faith and service to my God, family, and country… experience of seeing what the lack of hope and freedom does to people, and the reality that each person can and must make a difference. Being free is a daily commitment, whether home, on the road, or in some foreign country. I didn’t choose to be free – I was born free, and I am committed to die that way. I will be surrounded by Soldiers who wrote a blank check to the American people, a check payable with their lives, who are living JFK’s aged yet appropriate appeal to the public: “Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country”. With these men on the 4th of July, I will be hopeful for a free Iraq, and more importantly, a continued freedom within the United States, and we’ll pretend there’s a lake, Uncle Joe’s false teeth, and beer on the other side of the berm.

Al Fracker
COL, IN
16th Iraqi MITT
Team Chief

LANCE CORPORAL JOHN BIVONA

 

For me, the Fourth of July is not just about sparklers (but man, they’re fun) and corn on the cob (no one can eat just one.). Nor is it about hot dogs, although tofu pops and smart dogs make delicious meat free ones. Please look for them at your local retail food store. I like Whole Foods. It’s my source for all the vegan organic goodness that plumps the 140 pound community of cells I call moi.

 

Having served as a marine in Operation Desert Storm/Shield, Independence Day takes on an even greater symbolism, as is the case for most U.S. servicemen and women. Pride, honor, tradition, heritage, corn on the cob (Sorry, I guess I am hungry)…The tenacious and bold spirit that was necessary to overcome our old world oppressors is still very much alive today. The fireworks serve as a visual reminder of the beauty in finding independence from those who put unnecessary burdens on us.

 

The universe rewards bold action coupled with intelligence. We had a plan. We put it into effect. Fast forward 200 years. Wal-Marts and America Idol. It sure beats Little House on the Prairie. Well, not really. Laura Ingalls, you go girl!

 

My mission this 4^th…my plan…seek and destroy all organic corn on their cobs. Eliminate all kernels from their oppressive cobs. I will provide them independence. Fear not America. Meat free hot dogs eaten with an independent spirit my newly straightened chompers. Oohrah! Hey, where’s the relish? Go vegan. Break your chains. See what lies beyond.

 

LEE SORENSEN

 

The 4^th of July always means to me one thing: The Flag.

We all know the history of our founders and their role in building our country. We even know the history of our flag. But when I see our Flag, I stop and give thanks to all the things this country has given me and done for me. It makes me want to give back to America all I can in the spirit of the last line of our Declaration of Independence, 

“we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor”.

Most of us can not even begin to imagine the horrors our Military saw in Vietnam, World War 2 or the U.S. Civil War. The only thing I can do is honor those who fought for the people that could not help themselves, is by serving my country in the Military. To a lot of us it makes no matter if the war is in Iraq or Iowa, we just give to our country. Sometimes with our life.

One day in the far future I hope, a Flag will drape my coffin. It will be the proudest day of my life and wish all who see that flag know, it is the same exact flag that draped my father’s coffin as a WW2 vet, and my grandfathers as a WW1 vet. Although I will be there I wish I could see it, but you can bet I will be smiling.

So when you see Our Flag anywhere think of all the people that would defend you with their life, just because you are an American.

 

Lee S.

Balad, Iraq

 

 

 

As for me, I love the music. From Bruce Springsteen singing about Glory Days to John Mellencamp offering a story about Pink Houses, the music stays with me. John Fogerty reminds us that not everybody is a Fortunate Son.

Lee Greenwood singing God Bless the USA never fails to make me well up with emotion.

Yet July 4th is about America the Beautiful, and nobody sings that better than the late Ray Charles.

“America…I’m talkin’ ’bout America…God done shed grace on thee…”

I would end this by saying God Bless the USA, but based on the last 232 years, he already has.

A happy and peaceful July 4th to you all. May your fireworks shine bright, your flags wave sky high, and your loved ones be close, happy, and safe.

eric

 

Once again, a left wing columnist that reflexively dislikes President George W. Bush has decided to criticize him and his administration as supporting torture.

Once again, the Tygrrrr Express has to take on the role of being an unofficial ombudsman to prevent a liberal position from being accepted as truthful.

Below is the article.

http://www.jewishjournal.com/jewschoose2008/item/torture_what_did_we_know_and_when_did_we_know_it_20080627/

Allow me to offer the least delightful passages of the above link before ripping them to shreds in what I can only describe as a mercy killing.

“The story of torture as US government policy is one of the most shameful episodes in American history…”

No, that would be slavery, with the internment of Japanese Americans in World War II coming a close second. Both of those were enacted and enforced by democrats.

“Democrats are scared of appearing weak on terror.”

Gee, I wonder why.

“Even when it was revealed this year that a committee of top Bush administration officials went to Guantanamo to supervise torture, and when the president acknowledged that he knew of and approved of this committee’s work, we were still told by the president a few days later that it was all the responsibility of a few errant soldiers.”

Guantanamo Bay is like the Poconos (Big Bear for those of you not familiar with East Coast Culture), except with nicer weather.

“Finally, though, we have to ask: who are these people? How did a small band of fanatics get themselves into position to so pervert America’s ideals? How did they run roughshod over the protests of those in the military and law enforcement communities who protested, much more than Congress did? Do these people bear some responsibility for their actions for which they should be held to account? Do we?”

Apparently the author does not believe in elections. Then again, perhaps he was referring to Moveon.org, at which point I would completely agree with him. Nobody elected them.

“There is something about torture that is profoundly hostile to Jewish tradition. To me, torture has always gone hand in hand with superstition, the Dark Ages, ignorance, absolute authority, terror, and intolerance. I see the rack, straining horses, and the other tools of official torture. I always associate torture with the Inquisition, which in the old phrase, was not good for the Jews.”

I associated every woman who agreed to meet me for dinner as wishing to have sex with me. Thinking does not make it so.

Without offering any more words from the other column, which truly would be torture, here is some piercing logic.

The arguments made in the other column are disingenuous. Examples of “Torture” include the rack, thumbscrews, and cutting off limbs and other body parts. The United States does not behead people, nor do we burn our enemies with cigarettes. I wish our enemies were as civilized and decent as we are.

Coercive interrogation methods save lives. Stress positions, altering room temperatures, sleep deprivation, and playing loud music are not torture.

As for waterboarding, the United States has never killed anybody using this method. It has only been used on three people, one of them being 9/11 mastermind Khalid Sheik Mohammed. This broke him, and led to the disruption of other plots.

The occurrences such as Abu Gharaib were less serious than what kids suffer at various Summer camps, and college students suffer at fraternities. Our soldiers gave the prisoners the equivalent of “wet willies” or “zerberts.” Nevertheless, we conducted an investigation, and the people responsible were punished. We also apologized. I am still waiting for the murderers of Daniel Pearl to apologize.

We are nothing like our enemies. We are not even close. We do not torture. We do use coercive interrogation methods.

Personally, I think we should force the terrorists to listen to Helen Reddy sing, “I am woman, hear me roar.” On so many levels, that would be justice. Even liberals would not find this a violation of the eight amendment.

I once asked former Presidential Candidate Mitt Romney why we shouldn’t just simply have a public list of what does and does not constitute torture. Like abortion, guns, and other issues, there are shades of gray. Why not just make the issue black and white?

Mr. Romney’s answer was perfect, and it instantly swayed me.

He pointed out that my suggestion to define torture would tell our enemies exactly what we did and did not do. We have to leave the language ambiguous to keep our enemies off balance.

While this answer might not satisfy people who want clearly defined parameters, Mr. Romeny’s answer is still sensible and correct.

Besides, my father used to tell me that the music I listened to tortured him and my mother. My attitude was that if rock music was good enough to bring down Manuel Noriega, it was good enough for me to have a small amount of power in a house that was never a democracy.

One issue that is rarely discussed is the issue of turning a blind eye to the practices of our allies. If we have a captured terrorist, and he refuses to talk, could and should we turn him over to an ally, such as Pakistan, that may use harsh interrogation techniques, and perhaps, even real torture?

Sure. Absolutely. At the very least, this should be a bargaining chip. After all, once we walk out of the room, our hands are sparkling clean. Many mothers simply tell the child that things will get ugly when their father gets home. The message gets through.

Plus, liberals love a humble foreign policy. Who are we to tell other nations not to torture terrorists? Their countries have their laws. They are unconstrained by the ACLU. I wonder what that must be like.

The terrorists do not distinguish between liberal democrats and conservative republicans. They want to kill us all. It would be nice if liberals would stop helping them achieve their objectives.

Americans are good people. We do not torture. We use coercive interrogation methods, and we save lives.

As an American who wants to win the Global War on Terror, which again is Islamofacism, I accept the thanks of the world. You are more than welcome.

eric