THE TYGRRRR EXPRESS

All Hail Stephanie Weiss, My 1000th Twitter Follower

April 20, 2015, is more than just the day we celebrate the release of the NFL Schedule. Virtually nothing is as important as football, but exceptions do exist. Tonight is also a night to celebrate meaningless metrics of artificial social acceptance.

I now have my 1,000th Twitter follower (I only follow 5 people).

Sure, spiteful people can now unfollow me and drop me down to 999, but think of a car odometer. The odometer hit 1,000. Driving backward does not change the historical nature of the moment.

Twitter follower number 1,000 is Stephanie Weiss. May you all celebrate her now and forever.

A lifelong Texan, Ms. Weiss lives in Texas with her husband and child. She is active politically, a staunch libertarian. Unlike some libertarians, she is not crazy.

She is trained in human resources management, which means she gets to make employees cry for something that was probably their fault anyway.

Raised in San Antonio, she is a big fan of the Spurs, and was before they began winning championships every other year. In 1999 she rooted for the Spyrs, but that could have been a keyboard error.

She now resides in Dallas. Despite being a Texan, she says “oil” rather than “awl” the way J.R. Ewing used to pronounce it.

When she gives you a quizzical look, she has furrowed eye brows, which she denies.

She is a nice, kind, smart person.

She is also now the owner of this fantastic legacy. People like round numbers, so they should like her. She is forever Twitter follower #1000.

All Hail Stephanie Weiss!