Archive for June, 2010

GOP Convention 2010–Idaho

Wednesday, June 30th, 2010

I recently had the thorough enjoyment of speaking at the Idaho GOP 2010 State Convention.

For those who have never been to Idaho, go immediately. While it is deathly cold in the winter, it is beyond gorgeous in the Summer.

I went to Pocatello, Idaho, once a decade ago. It was time to go back. My second and third trips to Idaho came one week apart.

One week before the convention, Michael Steele spoke in Sun Valley, Idaho. I was the undercard on that event. A neutral column described the event simply and succinctly.

After the event, one wretched liberal media reporter (redundant, I know) ran a hit piece on the event that was a combination of lies, distortions, and fabrications wrapped in a falsehood cannoli.

Normally I do not link to garbage, but I will have plenty to say about the writer since he went after me personally. That will wait for another day since I do not want anything to detract from what was a pair of phenomenal experiences. Chairman Steele was magnificent in Sun Valley.

Speaking at this event was not easy. I went through a thorough vetting process. Idaho GOP organizer Anabel Manchester gave me the first once-over.

(Anabel is getting married in a few days. The groom is a Republican. Well done Anabel!)

Then the state party chairman Norm Semanko reviewed by credentials.

Before going any further, liberals on the coasts who have their vision of Idaho can put it back in the drawer and be quiet. It is so easy to be snobbish toward people one will never meet if one spends their life in a liberal bubble. The people of Idaho are good people. So for that reason I have to dispel a pair of myths because if I don’t, liberals will just bring them up because they are…well, themselves.

First of all, Idaho is not a “hate state.” It is a great state. Yes, I am aware that members of the Aryan Nation holed up in Northern Idaho, and that Randy Weaver and Ruby Ridge represent the entire state to the uninformed.

The people I met were as friendly as any people I have ever met, and they are the people who represent this state. Dayna Anderson took the pictures to prove it. Jacqui and David Shurtleff helped me find my way back to the highway, while Yvonne and Ralph Perez welcomed me into their circle of friends. Ralph is running for Idaho’s District 16.

Everybody knew I was Jewish, and it was a non-issue. Most of the attendees were either indifferent, or very supportive of Israel and the Jewish state. The joke about meeting the Jewish community by me looking in the mirror is not true. Eastern Idaho has a synagogue that is thriving, in addition to a Chabad House in Boise. I sadly did not get to meet these communities due to time constraints, but I will at some point. As a proud Jew I would feel totally comfortable being in Idaho (except in winter. I hate cold weather).

The second Idaho issue concerns ex-Senator Larry Craig. Liberals loved what he went through because liberals take delight in the suffering of conservatives. It is a blood sport for them. I would match Larry Craig up against Bill Clinton, John Edwards, Barney Frank, (and maybe even Al Gore) any day. Senator Craig is retired. He should be left alone. Enough already.

Senator Craig was not at these events, and I did not meet him. However, I know that the left sums up the entire state with snide remarks about him and Klansmen. The real Idaho is what I saw, and it is beautiful.

The Michael Steele event featured some very poignant moments. Bowe Bergdahl is a POW being held in Afghanistan. His father gave stirring remarks. The yellow bracelet of Bowe Bergdahl sits on my nightstand, where it will remain until he comes home safely to his family.

Dennis Prager appeared by satellite to promote his new movie satirizing the French and baseball.

I did offer some remarks, and I stand by every word I said.

“The Boise State Broncos look good on offense, but they need help on defense. I recommend the defense pick up Janet Napolitano.”

“Actually, let me apologize for that remark. I should never say Janet Napolitano in the same sentence as the word defense. She can’t defend anything.”

“I know why we lost the 2008 election. Republicans are the party of Rudy Giuliani, John McCain, Fred Thompson, and Michael Steele at the RNC. Democrats offered Christopher Dodd, Barack Obama, and John Edwards. It is obvious why we lost. Americans are bigoted against the follically challenged.”

Idaho Senator Jim Risch was in the audience, and his lack of follicles is matched only by his passionate oratory.

“Senator Risch and Chairman Steele are preparing to have me waterboarded for that last remark.”

“The next time a liberal comes up to you and asks you to be proud that America elected a black man to lead the free world, just look at them and say, ‘Yes I know. We all love Michael Steele.'”

I did recommend that General Petraeus “stop being so polite.” However, this was specifically directed at congress, not the president. Only a liberal writer could fail to distinguish Barack Obama from Barbara Boxer.

As for Senator Risch, I confess that until this event, I did not know who he was. I do not watch C-Span, and I could not one time remember seeing him or his Idaho Senate counterpart Mike Crapo on one Fox News or CNN television program. This told me that the reason I did not see them is because they are not camera hounds. They quietly do their jobs. The other 98 senators may wish to learn this skill.

Senator Risch is a calm, quiet, friendly individual. He is also passionate about advancing conservatism. His speaking manner is steady, stern, and delivered in a meaningful way.

As for Chairman Steele, his style went over flawlessly with the crowd. We were comfortable with him from beginning to end. He is a threat to liberal America (and phony black “leaders”) because he calls Barack Obama on the carpet for being all style and no substance.

One great line Steele said was “Barack Obama had everybody chanting ‘Yes, We Can.’

Can what?”

Barack Obama has style. Michael Steele offers substance.

Michael Steele was a fabulous beginning to my Idaho experience, but I was only half done. I had flown into Pocatello, driven West to Sun Valley, driven back East all the way to Etna, Wyoming, and then West back to Pocatello.

(The local football team is the Idaho State Bengal Tigers. Go Tigers!)

For those who have never been to the Pocatello airport, it is fantastic. They have one gate. The only flight out of Pocatello goes to Salt Lake City, Utah. That is it. Every day security clears anywhere from 50 to 100 people. It is a different and much better world than LAX. I did not even know the airport closed, but after the last flight the security guard and the janitor shut things down for the night. Thanks to a cool convenience shop, I now own a piece of Idaho potato merchandise, a Star Wars style t-shirt of “Darth Tater.”

After flying back home for less than a week, I had to fly back to Idaho for the convention itself. This time I flew into Idaho Falls. That airport is twice as complex as Pocatello. There are two gates.

The Idaho Convention may seem pointless to uninformed outside observers. After all, isn’t the entire state Republican?

No. One of the two congressmen is a Democrat. The Republicans are trying to take back the seat, and they have a strong candidate in Raul Labrador.

An amusing moment happened when I confused Mr. Labrador with the Superintendent of Public Instruction, Mr. Luna.

I was autographing a book for Mr. Luna when I accidentally autographed it to Mr. Labrador. As I tried to figure out how to change it without leaving a horrible scribble, Mr. Luna let me off the hook by buying a second book. He gave one of the books as a gift to Mr. Labrador, although throughout the weekend I was good-naturedly teased as the ugly Californian. No, they do not look alike. I am just blind. They are both nice guys, so hopefully that absolves me.

At the convention I got to meet Senator Mike Crapo, who got the crowd fired up.

I was wearing a Crapo campaign t-shirt I was given, and it was nice to meet him while wearing it. I let him know that I would do the very best from my home in the People’s Republic of California to fire Barbara Boxer.

A pair of ladies who took good care of me were Marty Orwig and Ruthie Johnson. Marty was kind enough to introduce me to plenty of Idaho politicos.

As for Ruthie Johnson, don’t tell my girlfriend, but she and I took a nice walk while holding hands. She is one of the feistiest octogenarians I have ever met. Like many older Republican women, Mrs. Johnson is made of steel. Yet she is also one of the most pleasant ladies I have ever met. The GOP is lucky to have her dedication.

Yet while there were plenty of debates over platforms, credentials, motions, amendments, and motions to amend original amendment motions as previously motioned and amended, there was a ton of fun as well. Government is not sexy. It is nuts and bolts and minutiae. It can be boring, but it is important. Yet so is having fun after a tough day of work.

The evening dinner event took place at a Riverbend Ranch, owned by Frank VanderSloot.

(For those expecting Natalee Holloway jokes, look somewhere else. Mr. VanderSloot did not work hard his whole life to face ridicule for something some teenager worlds away did. My surname faced ridicule when somebody unrelated to me with the same surname murdered somebody, hence my sympathy for Mr. Van Der Sloot.)

Mr. Vandersloot gave impassioned remarks about ethics in business and politics. He told a story about how he was the largest single donor to a politician during one election cycle. He called the politician to discuss a certain issue of importance to him. The call was not returned. Days went by, and still no returned call. There was not even a message left. At first Mr. Vandersloot felt betrayed. He was the largest single contributor to the politician, and did not even get is phone call returned. Then weeks later after the issue had become irrelevant, Mr. Vandersloot received a message on his machine.

The politician had finally called back. His message said that he was well aware that Mr. Vandersloot was the largest contributor, and that was the precise reason the call was not returned. Any call would have seemed improper. Mr. Vandersloot listened to the message, thought very deeply, and realized what he had to do. He let the politician know that he had Mr. Vandersloot’s support from now on. This politician had integrity, which was more valuable that any potential business dealings.

That was the message Mr. Vandersloot gave is that night. No matter how much money and power a person achieves, they must play by the same rules we all do. Mr. Vandersloot was a breath of fresh air.

Former GOPAC Chair Rich Galen gave a smart analysis of the 2010 elections. Since he followed me, he made it clear that he was in an unusual position. He is used to following Miss Idaho runner-ups. Yet despite his modesty, he provided a sobering assessment of what the GOP needs to do to reclaim the house and senate.

As for me, this was no ordinary speech. Governor CL. “Butch” Otter and his wife were in attendance.

So was congressional candidate Labrador. While this was less pressure than performing in front of Chairman Steele, it is important to do a good job in front of a governor. In the short time I interacted with him, I came to admire him and his state.

You see, the best part politically about Idaho…it works. Idaho works. Idaho is functional. The people I saw liked their elected officials. Idaho is not bankrupt like California is. It is a friendly place to do business. It has far fewer environmental regulations, yet the environment there is breathtakingly gorgeous and clean.

Some will say that California has so many more people, making it tougher to govern. Many more people should mean much more wealth. It was once that way. Yet the Golden State is now a lead weight dragging us all down.

Idaho has a part-time citizen legislature. They make $18,000 per year plus another $10,000 in expenses. They have full-time jobs the rest of the year, since the legislative session is only 90 days. This past year they got the job done in 78 days.

If California politicians want to fix the state (debatable), they need to learn from Idaho. They have fewer people, but those people believe in common sense, and a values system known as the “Code of the West.” Governor Otter believes in this code, and his state is thriving.

I went through some of my standard remarks before going way off script.

“The Idaho police are looking for me. I found out the hard way that just because your leadership has an Otter and a Labrador, it is not ok to pet them without permission.”

“The Otter and the Labrador are both noble creatures. They both take care of vermin. I wish we could bring the Otter and the Labrador to California to take care of our political vermin, that being Barbara Boxer.”

“We lost the 2008 election because Americans are bigoted against the follically challenged. Senator Risch is not happy with me right now.”

(Mr. Vandersloot is also bald, but I had not spoken a word to him and did not want to take liberties. So I creatively worked him in.)

“Mr. Vandersloot, I am leaving you out of this. Your ranch has a woodshed out back and I don’t want to be taken to it.”

“So given this bigotry against the follically challenged, we need a leader who is tall with perfect hair. Governor Otter, we need to send you to Iowa and New Hampshire right away.”

“Governor Otter, if you refuse to run for President, the next Republican president will appoint you the head of Homeland Security. You have the most important qualification. You are a Butch.”

After my remarks, I humbly accepted a vigorous handshake from the governor. My routine went over well, and I found a quiet place to breathe again.

The next morning the Idaho Federation of Republican Women held a breakfast. Idaho FRW President Donna Montgomery found a couple of great speakers, including Idaho First Lady Lori Otter.

The people of Idaho were yet my millionth reminder that politics is more than just legislation. It is about people, most of them good, decent, noble, and caring. Otherwise, they would show zero interest in a total stranger from California who could not vote for any of them.

I do know this much. When we give, we get back so much more I plan to put money into the Idaho economy from time to time.

A beautiful cabin in the woods with green trees and grass, blue sky, and beauty as far as eyes can see…if my girlfriend is up to it, I think I found the perfect vacation spot.


GOP Convention 2010–Texas

Tuesday, June 29th, 2010

There is plenty of hard news happening, but it will have to wait until later in the week.

I recently had the pleasure of attending the Texas Republican Party State Convention in Dallas.

About 14,000 people descended on Dallas. The Texas GOP Convention often gets a larger crowd than national Republican Conventions. Texans like to brag about how everything they do is bigger, but they back it up.

The expression I hear often is “American by birth, Texan by the grace of God.”

I went to this event as a vendor, not sure if I would have a speaking engagement. Yet before I even hit the ground, I had five events scheduled before the convention even started.

Every state that opens up to me does so because one person decides to take a chance on me.

In Texas, the lady who did so was Toni Anne Dashiell, the former President of the Texas Federation of Republican Women.

Normally I speak to local chapters in a state, and work my way up to a state gig. I called her out of the blue and asked to speak at their state convention in Galveston. She said yes, and my life changed for the better. I spoke in front of about 800 women, and these ladies are tough. They are also awesome.

(I innocently inquired as to what some TFRW ladies were asking Governor Rick Perry at one function. One of the ladies smiled and said, “They’re not asking the governor anything. They’re telling the governor.” I knew my place in a hurry.)

My remarks to the ladies at the state convention led all the local chapters asking me to speak at their annual fundraisers, with more still to come. Here are a couple of my remarks.

“The Dallas Cowboys are like Christian America. They wrap themselves in the American flag, have guys like Tom Landry and Roger Staubach, and represent righteousness. The Houston Texans are like the Jews of the National Football League.”

“The Texans were minding their own business as Oilers when they were driven from their homeland by an evil warlord named Bud Adams who moved them to Nashville.”

“When the Titans came back to play the Texans, Bud Adams had problems getting a good seat. This is because whether your name is Bud Adams or Yassir Arafat, there is no right of return.”

“I don’t mean to be critical of your fellow Texans, but as a Jewish guy I was real nervous driving through Palestine, Texas. I kept the windows up and did not stop driving.”

“The next time I hear that Palestinians want a homeland in Israel, I will tell them to shut up and be happy with their slice of land on the way from Houston to Tyler.”

All of this started thanks to Toni Anne Dashiell.

While Mrs. Dashiell opened up the entire state for me, one woman that saw me at the TFRW convention helped me go national.

I was lucky enough to be befriended by Borah Van Dormolen. Borah used to be the TFRW president right before Toni Anne. She asked me if I wanted to speak at an NFRW conference. Of course I did! Thanks to her, I was able to speak at the NFRW Winter Conference in Oklahoma City.

A few weeks ago I got to see Borah again when I spoke to her Republican Women’s chapter in Salado, which is not terribly far from Austin.

At that event I had the honor of meeting Ellen Staples, the club’s First Vice President. She and her husband Stan are awesome.

Other friends I made that treated me with a ridiculous amount of warmth include Rita and Jim Huggler. Their grandson is a cool little fella, and very well mannered. John and Sophia LeCour are also two of the best people I have ever met. Anita Bargas showed me around parts of Texas. She was the nicest tour guide I had ever met.

Other people I met while touring Texas included Scott O’Grady. He is an American hero, and it was humbling being in his presence.

My adventure in Dallas began the moment my plane landed. I called David Bitterman, who runs the Coppell Republican Club.

I was only calling to confirm my speaking to his club. He asked me if I was at the airport, and I confirmed that I was. By sheer coincidence, he was already on his way to the airport to pick up his wife, who was on the same flight as me. We did not know this until he arrived and the woman wondered why a stranger was getting in her husband’s car.

My first night in town was supposed to be quiet, but I ended up speaking to Mickey McGuire’s Dallas Pachyderm Club and the Dallas Young Republicans. Kat Rice is the YR club president, and accomplished well beyond her years. She recently finished her first book entitled, “The Internet is Blue.”

(My current relationship prevents me from elaborating on the fact that Kat Rice is quite hot. Then again, she is a Republican brunette. Hot Republican brunette is redundant.)

(I often decide long after my columns are written to throw in one totally inappropriate gratuitous comment that has nothing to do with anything. So let me say today that the internet is not the only thing that is blue. I really wish my girlfriend was here with me. She arrives Thursday, and that is way too far away. For those who think that “blue” means sadness, go with that and think I am sweet.)

(Ok, one more gratuitous dumb comment. “Blue” was my favorite character in the movie “Old School.” RIP Joseph Blue Pulaski. Ok, now back to politics.)

The first new friends I made at the convention were Carolee and Bob Blumin. They are Jewish Republicans. Carolee deserves a very honorable mention because at the end of the convention, my new girlfriend and I decided to give it a serious try. Carolee reminded me that the best way to focus on this lovely girl was to not focus on any others. Partying with the lovely female Dallas Young Republicans is how guys get into trouble. I partied with the Republican Women’s Federated ladies instead. So thank you Carolee for keeping me on the straight and narrow!

As for the convention itself, it was unbelievable. 14,000 people ready to get down to business and pleasure, which seemed to be sympatico.

My vendor table was flooded with people who had either seen me speak in the past, heard about me, or were just stopping by. Business was brisk, as the people of Texas embraced my book trilogy. I could barely leave my booth for a break because the traffic was high. It was a welcome problem to have.

The only downside of the entire weekend was that I did not get to meet Haley Barbour. I have met so many politicos, but never Haley. He spoke in Las Vegas at the Republican Jewish Coalition Silver anniversary bash, but I was speaking at the CRA 75th anniversary convention in Orange County. This time Haley was on the stage. All I had to do was walk over and say hello. I didn’t do it because my booth was flooded with potential customers. So yes, I chose money. I hope to meet Haley at some point. I know he lit things up because I heard the applause.

One person I did get to meet was Senator John Cornyn. I let him know that he gets my award for the funniest political commercial in history, with him riding a horse to the tune of Big Bad John.

On Friday night I did leave the convention briefly to attend a religious service, as I had done a week earlier in another state at another GOP convention. Yet this service in Dallas was different. The service was still at a Synagogue that practices a liberal strain of Judaism, but the Rabbi himself left his politics out of the speech. I was in shock. The sermon was about…Judaism. How incredibly novel. Even the liberal Jews in Texas are able to shut it long enough to focus on actual religion. Then again, in Texas, even the liberal Jews are not that liberal. It was a fabulous apolitical service.

I high-tailed it back to the convention because the late Friday night speaker was Congresswoman Michele Bachmann. She is a goddess of brains, beauty, and brunette-ness.

(Again, a stunning Republican brunette…so redundant. I would say more but Carolee Blumin would remind me about getting into trouble. She is right.)

Michele Bachmann has a background as a tax attorney. When she speaks on tax law, she actually knows what she is talking about. She brought the crowd to its feet with a message that I have preached many times, less eloquently than her. Republicans need to stop being so polite. The left has brass knuckles. We need to stop being gracious to those who wish to rip our guts out. She offered a heaping of political red meat to go along with the literal beef on our plates.

(This was Texas. They don’t serve tofurkey. Vegans can go somewhere else. They eat meat here.)

There were plenty of political events, with the biggest action being the fight for the leadership of the Texas Republican Party. Chairwoman Cathy Adams was up for reelection, and she represented the conservative wing of the party. She faced a pair of challengers from more moderate elements of the party.

(Keep in mind that in Texas, moderate Republicans are still pretty conservative.)

It was a tough fight that lasted several hours, but the new chairman of the Texas GOP is Mr. Munisteri. Cathie Adams has been nice to me personally, but many people felt that she was just too conservative. That is the explanation I was given for her defeat.

(Every time she came on stage, the song “Eye of the Tiger” blared. I was disappointed to find out that the music and cheering was not for me. That is my theme song.)

There was action everywhere, and passions ran high. A group named Texans for Israel warmed my heart.

A Republican who happens to be black, Apostle Clayver, inspired the crowd with a talk about the real racism coming from the left. His website Raging Elephants is fabulous.

Everybody from Texas Tea Party attendees to gun owners to national politicos made the 2010 Texas GOP Convention an amazing experience. 14,000 Americans got together in a larger than life fashion.

President George W. Bush and First Lady Laura Bush were not in attendance. The again, no convention is perfect. Virtually perfect will have to do.

As I left Dallas, I left behind all the cowboy hats, belt buckles, and thick steaks. It was back to California. It may be a mess, but it is still my home.

Yet wanderlust takes me where great people are. I have several trips to Texas planned in the future.

I have seen the Texas GOP, and it is strong.

Besides, the new chairman is a man. If he messes anything up the TFRW ladies will slap him silly.


GOP Convention 2010–North Carolina

Monday, June 28th, 2010

I recently had the honor and privilege of speaking at the North Carolina GOP 2010 State Convention.

For those who have never been to North Carolina, spend a few days there. Drive up and down the Carolina coast. It is the most beautiful greenery in the nation.

The NCGOP 2010 Convention took place in Winston-Salem, an hour away form the Greensboro airport.

While I had been blogging for some time and spoken in many places, I was not well known in North Carolina. Yet as has been the case throughout this great country, the state opened up for me because one kind person decided to take a chance on me.

I began emailing with Bob Pruett in the wild world of the blogosphere. He was easygoing and friendly, yet very serious about conservatism and electing Republicans to office. In 2009 I sent him an email saying that I was coming to North Carolina. I had speaking engagements lined up in Virginia, Maryland, and DC, and wanted to develop a presence in his state.

Bob took time out of his busy schedule to email other people about a complete stranger. I ended up getting a speaking gig at the Duplin County GOP Barbecue. I met Judy and Adrain Arnett, who were beyond kind to me. Also, Carolina Barbecue is d@ng tasty.

The highlight of that speaking event was meeting Stevie Rae Rivenbark, the 2009 Miss Wilmington pageant winner and finalist in the Miss North Carolina pageant. Somebody asked if I would buy her dinner. my response was that I was willing to buy her a third world nation.

The Arnetts reported back to Bob Pruett that they enjoyed my performance. Yet my arrival at the NCGOP Convention was not complete until I met him. I decided to purchase a booth at the convention as a vendor. He saw my booth, came up to me, and gave me a big bear hug. This is why I attend these events. I make friends I will have for life.

Yet I also need to make a living, and most people will not buy my book until they have heard me speak. The problem is that the NCGOP already had a fantastic set of speakers lined up. Highly regarded NCGOP Chairman Tom Fetzer had his lineup in place. The main dinner event featured the inspirational speaker Herman Cain.

Since speaking at the convention itself was not looking promising, I managed to arrange a speech the night before the convention to a chapter of the Republican Women’s Federated. Bonnie Tamrack runs the Catawba County group. They met the same night and place as the men’s GOP group. I addressed both groups together and had a great time.

The convention itself was expected to be uneventful for me from a speaking standpoint.

Yet Bob Pruett found time for me. A breakfast event had Congressman Howard Coble as the main speaker. While many Americans favor term limits for members of congress, the people at that breakfast were more than happy to keep Mr. Coble for as long as he wanted to serve. His conservatism was matched only by his pleasantness.

Bob told me the night before the breakfast that he may have a few minutes for me, but did not make any promises. I genuinely appreciated his honesty. I am not a morning person, but I was there slightly early. To my surprise, Bob decided to mention me in his opening remarks. He wanted to make sure that even if there was not time for me to speak, at least people would know who I was.

Due to what seemed like luck but was more likely an opportunity engineered by Bob, I was able to speak for 5 minutes. This may not seem like much, but it is more than enough time to make an impression. Think of it as the elevator conversation. I made the most of my chance with some fun remarks, all the while keeping in mind that Congressman Coble was right next to me.

“I am going to start today with a couple of sports updates. North Carolina is very different from California. North Carolina brought the world the great Dale Earnhardt, who left us way too soon in a tragic car wreck. California unfortunately brought the world Barbara Boxer and Nancy Pelosi, who are themselves a couple of tragic car wrecks.”

“The Carolina Panthers look good on offense but face severe trouble on defense with the loss of Julius Peppers. They need some beef on the defensive line. I am recommending that Coach Jon Fox add Janet Napolitano.”

“Actually, I am going to apologize for that last remark. I should never mention Janet Napolitano’s name in the same sentence as the word defense. She can’t defend anything.”

“I don’t mind a woman president, even an effeminate one. I just don’t want to talk about John Edwards right now.”

The room was pleased, and Congressman Coble stopped by my booth later that day. He even invited me to his office to do a blogger interview the next time I am in DC.

The Republican Women had their booth right near mine. They had heard of me speaking in Oklahoma City at the National Federation of Republican Women Winter Conference. They were also aware of my Catawba County speech. The ladies were having a party in the hospitality sweet at night. The current and former presidents, Dena Barnes and Valerie White, gave me the chance to speak at their party.

As that party was winding down, out of nowhere, Joe the Plumber walked in. Joe Wurzelbacher is a nice guy and a fun guy. Like me, he was a guy that got thrust into the spotlight out of nowhere. He is two years younger than me, but has many more responsibilities. Joe is also a loyal guy. He likes the Cincinnati Bengals. That is enough proof for me.

As for speaking to the ladies, these opportunities have opened up the state for me. I also had the wonderful fortune of meeting people that I had corresponded with through telephone and email. Republican Women including Marlynn Burns and Carla Harper embraced me as one of their own. One county chairman Dave Ruden greeted me warmly. Naturally Adrain Barnett was a great sight to see since he was the very first North Carolinian to have speak to his group way back when.

Conventions are more than just politics, and politics is more than just legislation. It is about people. Long after debates about platforms and credentials have concluded, the people that impacted me will be the real story.

When in a strange town, I try to do more than Republican politics. I try to meet the Jewish community. Winston-Salem has only one Synagogue, and a very liberal one at that. While the Rabbi’s sermon was typical hard leftist drivel, the people were friendly. Besides, there were plenty of Republicans everywhere else but this temple.

I also managed to find out that the party scene in Winston-Salem, normally tame, was even less lively with Wake Forest being out for the Summer. I made my way to Downtown Charlotte, where the party scene was very lively.

One point of confusion for me was that when I tried to get directions, everybody kept telling me to “go to Billy Graham.” I kept thinking that maybe the liberals were right, and that the Christians were trying to convert to Christianity from my Jewish faith. I mean what the heck does the Reverend Billy Graham have to do with driving on the highway?

Apparently everything. Billy Graham was the name of the highway. I wonder if the Reverend knows that he was named after a highway. Either way, not one Christian in North Carolina tried to proseltyze to me even though they all tried to steer me in the right direction.

Before leaving the state, I paid homage by leaving the highway at exit 60, named after Dale Earnhardt. They have a Bojangles there, with food fit for an Intimidator.

I will be coming back to North Carolina many times. With people like Bob Pruett running things, the GOP will be just fine there for some time to come.

I look forward to the next North Carolina GOP Convention.


Nothing Sunday

Sunday, June 27th, 2010

Ole, Ole Ole Ole…Ole…Ole!

This concludes the soccer report.

Look, I know I am supposed to get all angry, hope that Donald Rumsfeld gets back in power and orders the bombing of Ghana, but I just can’t get worked up enough to care. America is the greatest nation on Earth, but if we can’t find 11 people to play soccer that is our problem. The other team had a wicked googly, although perhaps I am mixing sports metaphors.

Now the rest of you can join me and go back to not caring about soccer.

Today I am thinking about the Al Gore sex scandal. Again, to be honest I really don’t care, but today is nothing Sunday.

Personally I think the woman’s story reeks to high heaven.

The only thing in her favor is that the National Enquirer broke the story. I know that sounds crazy, but the Enquirer broke the John Edwards story, and they always had the scoop on what was going to happen on Dallas and Knots Landing when I was growing up. They are not like the Jayson Blair Times. They get the story right, although when they cover who the alien is going to vote for, they are talking about martians and not Mexicans.

Despite the Enquirer having a good track record, I am not sure Al Gore is guilty. For one thing, I never pictured him as a guy who had sex with anybody. I always wondered how he became a father. He is just so d@mn boring that I can’t (nor do I want to) picture him doing anything remotely fun, much less something enjoyable like sex.

That argument in defense of Gore went out the window with Tiger Woods. After all, Woods is just as (if not more) boring as Gore. If he was having sex, everybody is.

The reason I think Gore is innocent is going to anger people, but I have never let that get in the way of my musings. Gore is being accused of bad behavior by a 54 year old masseuse.

54? Are you kidding me? What masseuse is 54?

First of all, the woman expresses shock that a man would think a massage came with something more. Why would she be shocked? Many masseuses offer that (so I have heard).

Secondly, Al Gore is a billionaire. Like Tiger Woods, billionaires can be selective. If Al Gore is going to get x-rated massages, he is going to get them from 20 year olds that call him “poppy.”

(It’s more like aayyyyeeee, poppppeeeeee…again, so I’ve heard)

Look, there are plenty of attractive older women out there. There are just so many more hot young things.

When you are the former United States Vice President, you do not have to troll on Craigslist for masseuses. I am sure he has a rolodex of people from his Bill Clinton days who can procure hot young women at all hours of the night.

This woman waited years to file a claim. I have my doubts. If Gore really wanted 54 years, he could have had 3 different 18 year olds visit his room. Guys with his power can get triplets.

Maybe Gore really does have taste as bad as his boss. Outside of Gennifer Flowers (former Miss America Elizabeth Ward Gracen has denied sleeping with him, removing her from consideration since she did not save a dress), Clinton’s women ranged from average to homely.

Look, if news of a Janet sandwich between Reno and Napolitano occurs, I am all over that (awful choice of words) story.

Yet if I am reduced to thinking about soccer, golf, or irrelevant politicians, then I truly have spent 600 words saying nothing.

I might even go outside today and do something.

Trying not to lose my marbles…10 weeks until NFL Kickoff 2010.

This concludes Nothing Sunday.


The Otter Picnic

Saturday, June 26th, 2010

While attending the Idaho State GOP Convention, I was invited to partake in what seemed like a very strange ritual. As somebody who has only lived in metropolises like New York and Los Angeles, I am quite unfamiliar with the rituals in the Mountain West.

Yet even I was not prepared for what seemed like something different for a lover of animals like myself. I was invited to the 2010 Idaho Otter picnic.

While I have dined on elk, buffalo, and venison, I had never eaten otter before. It did not seem right. It actually seemed a tad barbaric. Maybe living in progressive (translation: screwed up beyond recognition) areas made me snobbish to those who have different fine dining tastes.

I did not see the otters running around before the picnic, which made me wonder where they would be obtained.

Oh, no. I hope I was not being invited to participate in an otter hunt. Kill it and grill it is a great slogan but I prefer my animals served to me already dead. I dont care how the cow is slaughtered as long as I get a steak. I wondered what otter steak tastes like. I bet people would say chicken, since everything including chicken tastes like chicken.

I wondered what the dietary laws would be on this issue being of the Jewish faith. Is otter meat even kosher?

Also, I did not want to go otter hunting. I staunchly support the Second Amendment right to keep and bear arms, but I am not an otter hunter. Like Dennis Leary, I prefer we kill only the ugly animals. Dont get me wrong, I dont mind clubbing baby seals or nuking the whales, but I draw the line at blasting baby otters to smithereens.

These Idaho people seem barbaric, not like enlightened coastal people such as me.

I do like meat and potatoes, and Idaho is the potato capital. So maybe they know their meat as well. I did once receive some delicious Idaho steaks in the mail. Maybe otter meat was a secret delicacy that those far away from Idaho had yet to experience.

The whole thing made me queasy. I could barely pick up my knife and fork. Then somebody brought me the sandwich. It tasted like ordinary cold cuts. Come to think of it, it was cold cuts.  Who knew that otter tasted like salami?

It turns out that was just salami. Otter was the main course.

I looked around for a warm furry creature, but instead a tall man with perfect hair that would make Mitt Romney envious walked in. People starting calling him over and shaking his hand.

Good to see you Governor Otter.

Governor Otter? The state of Idaho is led by an Otter?

Actually, apparently yes. He seemed quite human, and rather pleasant.

Apparently the Otter Picnic focused on the governor speaking about low taxes and creating a better business climate, without any shooting or eating of adorable little animals.

Ok, so it seems I jumped the judgmental gun like too many coastal elites tend to do. The sandwiches were as normal as anything I have tasted in California, although thankfully this picnic had no tofu. I would sooner eat otter.

After the meal I was prepared for them to call in the dogs, but the only thing resembling a canine came in the form of a Labrador.

The Labrador is their congressional candidate.

They also have Bengal Tigers running around, which either means that Idaho state has a cool mascot or the state has lousy hunters and dangerous game running wild.

Otters, Labradors, and tigers, oh my!

Hey, it beats the political vermin in California.

Long live Idaho, home of the Labrador and the Otter!


My Father’s Letter to Jon Voight

Friday, June 25th, 2010

I am on a plane to Idaho today. Tonight I am speaking at the Idaho GOP State Convention as the undercard to former RNC Chair Rich Galen.

Idaho is a mostly Christian state. There are Jews in Idaho, but not too many. Yet I was treated very warmly there, and look forward to making more lifelong friends.

This brings me to the notion of Christian support for the Jews. Many liberals have this nonsensical notion that they just want to convert us all. No. They love us because they believe God, and God tells them to love us. This is positive, not negative.

During the worst atrocities Jews have faced, Christians have risen to our defense like the big brother protecting the little brother.

One such good Christian man is actor Jon Voight. I have met him many times in various places. I saw him at Hannity’s Freedom Concert and at a Rudy Giuliani fundraiser. At the 2008 GOP Convention in Minneapolis, he and I sat next to each other in a suite and handed out tissues to misty eyed ladies when Sarah Palin spoke. I have even met him through his wonderful support of the religious Jewish organization Chabad.

He laughed when I told him that I admired his work, especially as the football coach in “Varsity Blues.”

He was also great on “24.”

Yet his acting is an afterthought with me. The man himself is what impresses me.

My dad expressed these sentiments in a better manner than I would. Here is his letter to Mr. Voight, with only my dad’s name redacted.

“Dear Mr. Voight,

As a Holocaust survivor, your unwavering support for the Jewish people and the state of Israel has touched a deep nerve within me. I know first-hand of what it felt like to experience the horrors of a world gone mad, when the world did not even want to bother with the plight of the Jews. Yet, even then, there were ‘Righteous Gentiles’ who took principled and moral stands at great personal risk to themselves and their families to save hapless Jews from slaughter.

I am here today because such Righteous Gentiles aided my family and me to survive. There is a place in Israel called Yad Vashem where such people are honored. G-d says, ‘I will bless those who bless my people, and curse those who curse my people.’ I am sure you will be among the blessed.

In an age when moral equivalence is made between terrorists, suicide bombers, and people who only wish to live in peace in the land of their forefathers, from which they were driven 2000 years ago in the Diaspora, it is refreshing to see a man such as yourself support with clarity what is moral and right.

I have always been a fan of yours, and a great admirer of your work, because of your acting skill and talent. I am an even greater admirer of yours, because you can be described as a true ‘Mensch’.

May G-d bless you with a long and healthy life, prosperity, and peace of mind.


(My dad’s name–redacted)”

Without the love and support of Christian America, there would be no Jews and no Israel.

I thank Jon Voight and all the Christians like him, and pray that my own Jewish community realizes how special…and positive…this support is.


Obama Fires McChrystal

Thursday, June 24th, 2010

In a move that may reverberate for decades to come, President Obama has fired General Stanley McChrystal.

(One very lighthearted note before getting ultra-serious: Bill Schulz of Redeye said that Obama removed the Stan from Afghanistan.)

The only thing I know about my reaction is that I still don’t completely know. Conservative minds have disagreed on this one. Glenn Beck and Newt Gingrich felt the firing was appropriate, while Hugh Hewitt vigorously dissented. Bill O’Reilly split the difference.

I waited 24 hours to dive into this story because I wanted to put speed over accuracy. Also,  as suspected, my thinking on the subject benefited from the chance to clear out the fog and cut through the brush (while still apparently mixing metaphors. It also gave me a chance to correct the spelling of the general’s name).

My scorn toward the disgusting slobs at Rolling Stone has not changed. The liberal media exists to lose American wars, a tradition they began in Vietnam. Free speech comes with responsibility, something the liberal media has either never learned or willfully ignored.

Rolling Stone was willing to help disrupt a war effort to sell a few magazines. The Jayson Blair Times would be proud.

This does not excuse the actions of General McChrystal. Some have posited the idea that this was not an accident, that McChrystal acted deliberately. If this was the case, he should have immediately been fired, and an investigation conducted for possible illegal behavior. There is no evidence that this is the case. It appears to be an honest mistake.

The comments themselves were not that awful. They certainly do not rise to the same level as what caused Harry Truman to (rightly) fire General Douglas MacArthur. Both Obama and McChrystal said they agreed on policy.

This is irrelevant in terms of defending McChrystal. The actions of him and his subordinates were stupid and reckless.

I have said over and over again that military personnel cannot ever publicly criticize the president. His administration is an extension of him, so going after the vice president is no less out of line.

I am a private citizen. I can criticize the president, and when he deserves it (subjective, such is life), I absolutely will. However, for America to remain the beacon it is, the military must remain totally under civilian control. If military men don’t like it, they can resign. This is non-negotiable.

Another strike against Mr. McChrystal is that this was his second breach, not his first. His appearance on 60 Minutes was inappropriate. I totally agreed with his sentiments, but he still should not have addressed them publicly. I said he was right on substance and wrong on style. The fact that he had a second offense is another strike against him.

McChrystal offered to resign, which was the honorable thing to do. Yet that does not mean the resignation had to be accepted.

The president absolutely had every right to call him into the Oval Office to verbally beat the tar out of him until paint peeled off of the wall. I can say from personal experience that on many occasions I have (often passionately) disagreed with the boss in his private office with the door closed. Yet when debate was cut off, and a public meeting was held, I did everything but develop neck strain from nodding my head up and down in agreement when the boss spoke. As long as the boss is not doing anything illegal, employees had better learn to do this. Barack Obama is the boss, and I totally support him putting his steel toe in McChrystal’s hide to remind him of the chain of command. If you don’t want the verbal equivalent of rectal bleeding, don’t contradict the boss in public.

The fact that the comments were “not that bad” is irrelevant. McChrystal screwed up. He should have known better.

Hamid Karzai wanted McChrystal to stay. So did NATO. This is completely irrelevant. McChrystal is not their employee. That should have played zero role in the president’s decision. I mention this because the president acted unilaterally, and liberals worship at the altar of multilateralism. Had Mr. Obama’s predecessor done this, he would be pilloried for disrespecting our allies. President Obama has every right to fire his employees for any reason, without interference from outsiders with their own agendas.

(I am sure if he fires some U.S. Attorneys, nary a peep will be heard from leftist sycophants.)

Having said that, President Obama had an opportunity to contradict the prevailing opinion that he is thin skinned. He could have been merciful, and decided that while the general messed up from a public relations standpoint, he has been a loyal and effective soldier in the field.

Mr. Obama emphasized that policy disputes were not occurring.

(He could have stated that the soldiers were in open revolt over McChrsytal’s “rules of engagement.” Things would have gotten ugly, but that is policy based.)

He then said that this had nothing to do with him being personally insulted.

Of course it did. It had everything to do with this. Mr. Obama can claim a loss of confidence in his general, but the bottom line is that this president does not accept criticism from anybody in any situation. I keep saying how thin skinned he and his supporters are. They then rush to his defense and try to destroy anybody daring to critique him. This does not dispute the charge. Quite the opposite, it loudly reinforces it.

There is a time for a reprimand and a time for the verbal equivalent of the death penalty. Mr. Obama put his own ego above the mission. He was wrong. McChrystal should have been allowed one more chance.

(McChrystal can leave the military altogether, and begin publicly blasting the president as any private citizen can. He should absolutely not do this, unless he has hard evidence of presidential malfeasance. Otherwise he looks like a bitter guy harping at the guy who fired him. It also disputes his comments about being on the same page, and increases the justification for his firing.)

What Mr. Obama got right was replacing McChrystal with General Petraeus, one of the greatest military leaders in history.

Some consider the job a demotion, but Afghanistan is the most important hot spot right now. General Petraeus seemed happy at Central Command, but when the president asks you to serve in the way he needs, you do it. General Petraeus is an American patriot, and his honor and duty to America takes him out of his CentCom desk and back into a war zone.

Afghanistan is very different from Iraq, but Petraeus is the right man for the job.

Some will say that Mr. Obama chose him for political cover, but that is also irrelevant. If he does the right things for the wrong reasons (which is speculative in this case anyway), he is still doing the right things. If I am going to bash liberals for putting intentions over actions and words over deeds, I have to ignore Mr. Obama’s potential motives on this one. His action in choosing Petraeus was sound.

(For those wondering how he heard about Petraeus, let’s give a round of applause to Mr. Obama’s predecessor, who selected him to begin with. That man won Iraq.)

So Mr. Obama was wrong to fire McChrystal, but right in bringing in Petraeus.

So what is his overall grade?

The answer…


The key issue now is if Petraeus will be window dressing or if Mr. Obama is truly committed to letting the general do what he needs to do.

Most everybody agrees that General Petraeus has the ability to get the job done. He is the epitome of the best and brightest regarding military matters.

The issue is not the general. The issue is the boss. Mr. Obama has political considerations. Is he more interested in ending the war or winning it? Does he want to cave in to leftist basket cases or let the majority of sane Americans see justice done?

President Obama has been a disaster on so many levels. Yet if he gets this right, he can turn his presidency around. I have said many times that one cannot give credit to Tommy Franks and David Petraeus without praising the president who stuck with them. If David Petraeus succeeds in Iran, it will be because our current president got out of the way, let the general do his job, and for once listened to somebody besides himself. Yes, that absolutely will be enough for him to get some credit, deservedly so.

“Growing” in the job according to the media means moving leftward. If Barack Obama moves rightward on the war and sees the mission through to victory, he will have moved rightward and grown in the office.

I totally disagree with the firing of McChrystal. Yet that is now in the past. Mr. Obama should be judged on what happens in Afghanistan. It is his war now.

I am not convinced he is “all in.” Yet he has not cut and run yet either.

He has the best general he could ask for leading the effort. General Petraeus is tough, smart, and incorruptible. The general knows that if we do not fight the bad guys in Afghanistan, we will be fighting them here in America.

If the president listens to his general, the world could be a better place.

If Petraeus being hired was just another photo op, the world will burn and Mr. Obama will be the culprit.

I am standing with my president on this one and giving him the benefit of the doubt, despite plenty of skepticism.

We shall see.


All Sides Wednesday

Wednesday, June 23rd, 2010

Some say it is impossible to run a nation or win a war when one is getting it from all sides.

I know it is impossible to run a blog when everything comes out so fast and furious.

Sure, I could spend all day blogging, but I like having a roof over my head and food on my table. One story a day is what you get.

Yet lately all fronts are being invaded.

I will hold off on the General McCrystal story until tomorrow. I think it would show significant growth on the president’s part if after he gave the general a (well deserved) tongue lashing, he refused his resignation.

One aspect of that story still surprises me.

People read Rolling Stone?

Rolling Stone reminds me of an aging rocker that refuses to accept that the audience long ago lost interest.

(This is not the case with the Rolling Stones, who still seem to be as great as ever.)

Rolling Stone still believes that it is hip, cool, and edgy, and that it actually matters. Like the Jayson Blair Times and Newsweek, Rolling Stone is another liberal rag trying to relive the glory days of the 1960s when there were not other outlets to explain how pathetic these soon to be dinosaurs were.

(Memo to Jon Stewart: You are next. You may have a few years left, but your snarky brand of leftism has already peaked and is receding.)

In celebrity news, Lady Blah Blah said…blah blah…if you care, you are an imbecile. Read something else.

The oil spill and the McCrystal situation have overshadowed some serious news on the judicial front. Judges made several decisions, all of them positive.

The first decision came from the Supreme Court. In a 6-3 ruling, the justices concluded that providing help to terrorists, even if the help itself is legal, is illegal. This fits in perfectly with the sensible notion aiding, financing, enabling, or supporting terrorists is just as vile as blowing things up.

Some will say this is a limit on free speech. Nonsense. Some people and nations are on banned lists. It is illegal to do business with them. Therefore, helping Hezbollah, for example, use our courts would be illegal because we cannot do business with them at all. It would be illegal to sell a Jihadist a pizza.

Lost in this story by the typically disgusting liberal media is that the vote was 6-3 and not 5-4. Plenty of focus was given to the dissenting justices, yet zero attention was paid to the fact that liberal lion John Paul Stephens sided with the conservatives. When one conservative sides with united liberals, the media calls that bipartisanship. Those conservatives are praised as having “grown.” Well this decision was bipartisan, and it is nice to know that Justice Stephens had the courage to put partisanship aside in favor of defeating third world savage Islamofascist barbarians.

Another correct decision came down from the court, and this one was a 9-0 ruling. A police officer used his company cellphone to text his wife and his girlfriend. The company publicized his texts, and he argued a right to privacy. Since the texts were not aborted, female privacy advocates refused to care.

The guy was a dope. Company property is exactly that. He could have used his own personal cellphone.

Look, I send salacious texts to my girlfriend. I plan to keep doing that as long as she is ok with it. It’s not my fault. She is hot. Guys like to send messages to hot girls. It also helps their lives if only one girl is receiving the messages.

Perhaps the liberal female justices on the court got this one right because they took delight in humiliating a cheating husband. Maybe the clock was blinking 12:00. Nevertheless, Sotomayor and Ginsburg actually got this one right. Statistical aberrations happen.

Before moving on, one note to my relatives (my girlfriend can ignore this, as can a couple of very close friends and important business people).

I hate texting.

When I receive a text from you, I want to beat the living daylights out of you. I want to rip that phone out of your hand, and smash it into little pieces. You think everything is important, and not one single text has ever reached that category. If I wanted to hear from you, I would have picked up the phone. I don’t, so I don’t.

Abusive texters are every bit as harmful to society as abusive drunks and drug addicts.

Ok, I am veering off track. I should not text and type. Back to politics.

Another judicial decision with potentially far reaching implications is the judge who blocked President Obama’s moratorium on offshore drilling.

The left will howl that the judge was appointed by President Reagan, therefore making his decision sinister and politically motivated. After all, it is not like the left has been using the courts for decades to screw up society and thwart the will of the people. Oh wait, never mind. Yes it is.

(The left can shut up about civil rights. They got that one right, and have not gotten anything right since. In that sense they are like Rolling Stone magazine, living off the glory days of relevance.)

I am wondering if the incredibly thin skinned current president will bash the court, or for once accept that somebody can disagree with him without being evil.

This was not judicial activism. It was judicial restraint on executive activism and overreach. The president will appeal the decision, but in the mean time drilling is allowed. Drilling should commence this second before the Obama administration successfully court shops for a favorable appeals court.

With all of these rulings coming down, it is important that the Elana Kagan confirmation hearings not get lost in the shuffle. I spoke to Utah Senator Orrin Hatch the other day, and he stated that there as no way the hearings would be delayed.

The War in Afghanistan is important. So is cleaning up the oil spill. Yet 30 to 40 years from now, the country we want to be will be shaped by whether John Roberts is still in the majority or Elana Kagan and her liberal cohorts hijack the rule of law.

Remember, Elana Kagan has compared the KKK to the NRA. This is to be expected from a woman with no judicial experience, nominated by a faltering executive with no executive experience. Elana KKKagan will coast to confirmation if Republicans don’t scream at the top of their lungs for restraint and patience. Ms. KKKagan feels that the Robert Bork hearings were ideal. Time to turn the tables. Republicans will most likely be too gutless to take her on. Perhaps gun owners can remind her that the Second Amendment to the Constitution does not endorse lynchings or any other Klan hobbies.

I would say more, but so much is happening so fast. I am getting it from all sides.

Like the rest of you, I will sit back, wait, and report when appropriate.


Back to Business Tuesday

Tuesday, June 22nd, 2010

Enough Fun. Today is back to business Tuesday.

For those concerned I might become warm and fuzzy due to recent pleasant events, please think again.

Actually, just think again. Please is too pleasant.

On Saturday I disclosed my new romance. Sunday was devoted to dad. Yesterday was the first day of Summer, a celebration of hot women.

This is primarily a political blog, so let’s get back to politics.

Tomorrow I will go back to my daily topic du jour, which is French for something that I think is eaten with brisket.

Today there are so many things going on that I will analyze (translate: steal) from the many who are wiser than me.

Mark Steyn remains brilliant. His column analyzing Barack Obama’s most recent speech dealing with the Gulf oil spill should be mandatory reading. Many on the left were surprised that the speech was mediocre, and that Barack Obama was being seen as mediocre. Mark Steyn points out what he, I, and most conservatives have known from the beginning. Barack Obama was always mediocre.

Barack Obama is an academic. The left worships academics, and sees them as all knowing. The problem with academics is that they possess keen wisdom on specific topics (that ordinary Americans rightfully don’t care about) at the expense of a basic rudimentary knowledge of everything else. This is how a PhD in 18th century Russian footwear can insist on being called “doctor” and demand the same respect as a heart surgeon.

Mr. Obama’s predecessor was (falsely) seen as intellectually incurious. He was just more of a workhorse than a show horse. He did not have time to regale us with tales of yore or dazzle us with arcane knowledge. He was busy doing his job.

I know this because I have an MBA, and yet am seen as intellectually incurious by those professors who find it odd that 19th century French literature (translation: anti-American drivel, excepting Alex de Tocqueville, who the academics conveniently ignore) would not help me be a better Wall Street Stockbroker.

Somebody needs to tell academics the truth. They are not worldly. They are not sophisticated. They are not erudite. They are boring.

While Mr. Obama waxes poetic about a fictional green society, ordinary Americans just want the d@mn oil spill cleaned up.

This is so simple. Everybody outside of academics can grasp this.

While Barack Obama promised to make the oceans rise and let the waters then recede as if they were his vice president’s hairline, another useless liberal former vice president named Al Gore promised us that the flood waters would literally drown us all before we burned to death.

Forget that Al Gore is pompous, insufferable, and likable only to academics (I know it is hard, but try).

The real story is that Al Gore is repeatedly wrong. Rather than man up and say he was wrong, he just doubles down and insists that he really is right, just in a different way. Even Bill Clinton would be proud of his former veep’s verbal chicanery.

Australia has been leading the charge of global warming skeptics. Ian Plimer is now the new guy to go to for information.

The left then resorts to comparing global warming deniers to Holocaust deniers. When the facts are against you, hurl bile. Liberal is as liberal does.

There is a difference between being a global warming denier and a global warming skeptic. Skepticism is healthy. If the left was accurate, they would not need to cook the books, manipulate the numbers, and alter the term global warming to “climate change.”

Calling it “body beef stew” does not make it any less cr@pola.

Speaking of cr@pola, back to Gore (his argument, not the man himself). His Australian counterpart was ripped to shreds in a radio interview by a host who did nothing more than present unsubstantiated claims that turned out to be completely wrong.

Thank you Andrew Bolt and Tom Minchkin.

Turning to Radical Islam and winning the war on terror, I have some more thoughts on suicide bomber Helen Thomas.

Rabbi David Nesenoff was the one who asked the fateful question that revealed Helen Thomas to be as hideously ghastly inside as her rather atrocious outside.

This was no right-wing set up by some Neocon cabal, despite the protests from the left (what a shock, leftists protesting wrongly about nonsense). Rabbi Nesenoff is a liberal New York Rabbi and Obama lover.

Helen Thomas for years was defended by those who asserted that one can be critical of Israel without being an anti-Semite. While this is true, it is undeniable that many hide behind anti-Israel rhetoric to barely mask anti-Semitism. The issue is not Israel. It is a hostility to the very existence of Jews for being Jews.

Thomas finally crossed the line so blatantly that even her liberal cheerleaders had to give pause. She recommended that Jews “get out of Palestine,” and “go back to where they came from,” that being Germany, Poland, and the United States. Yet what was lost in translation was the reason she feels this way.

“I’m from Arab descent.”

As the Rabbi asks us, “that’s it?”

Yes, that’s it.

I have always referred to her as Arab sympathizer Helen Thomas.

This is important because if her being an Arab is the reason she feels this way, it makes her more than an anti-Semite. It makes her a terrible reporter.

The best journalists remove their biases, or disclose them.

(Opinion shows are not the same as hard news programs, for those who wish to bash Fox News. FNC separates the lines clearly, while MSNBC and the Jayson Blair Times blur them to the point of zero distinction.)

Helen Thoman once said, “of course I am liberal. What else would I be?” Now she is telling us that her Arab heritage is what caused her anti-Israel reporting. It was not based on facts. It was based on her emotions.

(I am still waiting for Christine Amanpour to come clean.)

Helen Thomas was a biased woman who let her biases infect her reporting. In this sense she is like most liberal reporters and journalists. She just got caught admitting it.

For those who wonder why I only target the left, they make up 90% of the journalists. The hysteria toward the statistical aberrations on the right are meant to offer a moral equivalence, the only time liberal journalists want balance.

Balance is the issue regarding politicians and vacations. Liberals are doing backflips to explain why Barack Obama playing golf while the oil spill wreaks havoc is fine, while BP executive Tony Hayward going on a yacht is not fine. Hypocrisy, thy name is liberalism.

I have zero problem with Mr. Obama playing golf. In fact, he should play more golf, not less. For one thing, every minute he spends golfing is a moment he is not passing harmful legislation. Secondly, he is the best spokesperson for golf. Golf is boring, and so is the president.

I just want the media sycophants to remember that Republicans are allowed to have vacations as well. The media gushed over Bill Clinton at Martha’s Vineyard, enthralled at how relaxed he was. Republican presidents never get to go on vacation without the media hacks talking about the timing, as if the president ever really has the time.

Tony Hayward is no longer the BP spokesman. Therefore, he can go yachting whenever he likes. Mr. Obama should shut up and golf, and stop criticizing everybody else who dares to relax and take a break from the stressful world around them.

(Unrelated but interesting point: Comedian Jay Mohr noted that it was unusual for the president and vice president to be riding on the same golf cart. For safety and security reasons, it is rare for any president and vice president to be in such close proximity in that situation. This is less a criticism than an observation, and hopefully not a trend.)

The last issue today is the oil spill itself, which brings me back to our first academic in chief. For those looking at things objectively, Sir Charles of Krauthammer knows virtually everything, while the president knows virtually nothing. This assessment may seem harsh, but harsh is not wrong.

What Sir Charles has done again, as he always does (I take the man’s brilliance for granted, which may raise the bar too high. Yet he keeps surpassing it.), is lay out a simple concept in an even simpler manner.

We all know that Mr. Obama spent too much of his most recent (lecture) speech on creating a new greeniac utopia rather than fix the oil spill.

Yet what really matters is what Mr. Krauthammer points out, that oil itself matters.

Conservatives are accused of wanting to “do nothing.” That is a straw man argument.

Wind power is a potential solution. So is replacing oil with animal waste. Ethanol through corn and sugar were seen as possibilities and now are less favored.

This is not about the “big oil lobby.” This is about the fact that oil actually works.

Of course we should look for alternatives. However, we cannot and must not give up what is currently working in the hopes that something else might work in the future.

Sir Charles says it best:

“There’s a reason petroleum is such a durable fuel. It’s not, as Obama fatuously suggested, because of oil company lobbying but because it is very portable, energy dense and easy to use.”

We should get off of foreign oil. My solution is to break Iran in half and shove the American flag up the mullahs’ hides until they go to the toilet red, white and blue. That feels good but is politically untenable. “Kick their @ss and take their gas” is a great slogan that nobody to the left of Neocons like myself will embrace.

The next step is to drill for as much domestic oil as possible.

Yes, “drill, baby drill” is the answer.

Drilling for oil does not mean ignoring new potential technologies. Yet the left falsely argues that we cannot do both.

If liberals want to restrict oil, which they do, then they should immediately give up their electricity. Go become Amish and live on a farm in Pennsylvania somewhere. It can be a wind powered farm.

(Again, liberal phony Ted Kennedy banned a wind farm in his backyard because it blocked his view of Nantucket. These people will inconvenience everyone else but protect themselves form the laws they pass.)

Oil works. Until a credible replacement exists, we must get more oil. Either we take it from foreign rogue sources (Iran is at war with us even if we refuse to be at war with them) or we drill it domestically.

Perhaps if the president would spend less time bragging about academics, Nobel prize winners, and other “scientists,” and spent more time talking to roughnecks and wildcatters, he might understand that the way to deal with an oil crisis is to deal with oil.

It is good to be back at the (virtual blogosphere) office. My sleeves are rolled up.

Let’s get to work.


The Top 120 Political Yummy Bouncies of 2010

Monday, June 21st, 2010

Today is June 21st, the first day of Summer. Every June 21st the Tygrrrr Express lets unimportant issues such as war, pestilence, and economic turmoil take a back seat until the next day.

The first day of Summer is where I reveal my annual list of the top 30 women in politics, also known as the top 120 political yummy bouncies.

Unlike the Miss America pageant, this is strictly a beauty contest.

Here are past winners and musings from the blogosphere on other nominees.

As is the case every year, finding enough liberals was difficult. Finding enough independents was next to impossible. There was an overdose of conservatives.

Here are the liberals.

10) Jennifer Turner–She is an Islamist, also known as an ACLU human rights advocate. She is the only woman on the list without a picture. This is not due to her support of Jihadists. I do not let suicide bombers get in the way of judging hot women. I simply cannot find a picture. I met her in real life, and her lack of logical reasoning is matched by her spectacular appendages. She would be shot to death if she dressed that way in the Arab nations she champions.

9) Tanya Acker–I thought she was a supermodel when I met her on a plane. She is a smart, accomplished, nice woman who is also a fierce debater.

8) Christine Pelosi–Her mother is detestable. She is delectable. Perhaps she is adopted.

7) Kirsten Gillibrand–The accidental New York Senator is prettier than Hillary Clinton and Chuck Schumer combined, even if her rump roast cannot match Hilldawgs.

6) Kirsten Powers–A pair of Kirstens made the list. This one is one of the honest liberals out there, although the bar is low. Her last name reflects what her body possesses.

5) Maria Cantwell–The Washington State Senator is gorgeous and wealthy. That is an enticing combo.

4) Sarah Silverman–Only a woman as hot as Sarah could get away with the filth that comes from her mouth. She actually told young people to threaten to boycott their grandparents unless they voted liberal.

3) Tamara Holder–She helps dead people vote and supports corruption. Translation: She is a Chicago civil rights attorney. Even community organizers can be sexy.

2) Leslie Marshall–This fiery radio host could be an underwear model. Instead she just offers scorched Earth liberalism, with a smile.

1) Contessa Brewer–This MSNBC host is your standard leftist basket case. She actually lamented when a terrorist turned out to be a Radical Islamist, as if that was a surprise. Who cares? She is hot.

Here are the independents:

10) Rachel Uchitel–Although she is not really political, she is the Ashley Dupree of this list. She was the first Tiger Woods mistress to come forward, giving her the distinction of being the first woman to ever make anybody have a reason to actually care about golf.

9) Juju Chang–This Good Morning America correspondent may not get me to watch her show or any show at that unheavenly hour, but those waking up at the crack of dawn should enjoy her.

8) Dawn Fratangelo–This NY correspondent has had a ton of pain in her life, so I will tread lightly. I hope somehow she finds inner peace to match her outer beauty.

7) Robin Meade–An attractive journalist who actually keeps her opinions to herself. hat is refreshing and admirable.

6) Anita McNaught–Her aristocratic accent combines nicely with her serious demeanor and seriously good looks.

5) Tammy Bruce–She insists that she is a lesbian, but I suspect that is a ploy to keep men away. Of course, if the women she has sex with are also hot, they will make future lists.

4)Campbell Brown–She might not make the list next year since she quit her CNN show. She is as dignified as my conducting this list is undignified.

3) Kiran Chetry–When a Fox News lady faces too much competition, she goes to CNN and wins hands and legs down.

2) Lauren Sivan–This Fox News anchor is simply smoldering.

1) Dagan McDowell/Maria Bartiromo–Dagan McDowell is Scarlett O’Hara on Wall Street.  Maria Bartiromo is the CNBC Money Honey. The financial collapse did not keep them from rocketing to the top of the list in this column.

While the conservatives are bombshells, the real bombshells come in the form of who…and who is not…on the list.

Andrea Tantaros and Mary Katharine Ham are not on the list.

No, I have not lost my marbles. This is an election year. There are so many new women that the Republican list is entirely new, with not a single name from last year.

Even Shannon Doherty, the Republican brunette goddess who will most likely win the lifetime political yummy bouncy award if I ever create one, did not make the cut. Dancing with the Stars is not political, despite the performance of Tom Delay.

Judith Regan did not make the list because she has been keeping a low profile. South Carolina Gubernatorial candidate Nikki Haley did not make the cut because the list was compiled before she lit up the screen.

With that, here are the conservatives.

10) KT McFarland–I know, people will say I am off my rocker on this one. There is just something sexy about a Neocon Reaganite at any age.

9) Harris Faulkner/Megan Kelly–These Fox News correspondents combine toughness with pleasantness. Ph yeah, and they are hot, with Faulkner being a former beauty queen winner.

8) Marsha Blackburn/Mary Bono Mack–A blonde from Tennessee and a brunette from Palm Springs. They make a great Congressional pair. I would insert a tactless remark here, but they are good Republican women who deserve better.

7) Pam Bondi–She is running for the attorney general job in Florida. She is so tough and hot that she should change her name to Pam Bondage. I could picture her in charge of the penal code any day of the week.

6) Elizabeth Halseth/Mande Wilkes–They are running for the state legislature in Nevada and South Carolina respectively. Elizabeth is adorable, while Mande says inappropriate things ina  way that makes me proud.

5) Stevie Rae Rivenbark–Miss Wilmington nearly became Miss North Carolina.

4) Mary Smith–This Denver political consultant has a non-descript name but as descriptively lovely as it gets.

3) Melissa Goodwin/Laurie Ingram–These ladies are both politicos in Bastrop, Texas. One is running for judge, the other treasurer. A hot judge and a hot money lady makes for Bastrop being the best county in Texas, if not America.

2) Mattie Fein–She is a Republican Jewish brunette who is tough on Iran. That alone makes her worthy of a good paddling. She will be the hottest woman in the history of Congress if she can overthrow the mullahs by batting her eyelashes.

1) Samantha Cameron–The Carla Bruni/Segolene Royal role this year goes to the wife of British Prime Minister David Cameron. Shockingly enough, powerful men have hot wives. The last thing Britain needs is another sex scandal, but with this woman an exception must be made.

When all is said and done, only one set of political yummy bouncies truly captivates me, and a picture will not be provided. The Miami Shark is the most stunning Republican Jewish brunette on Earth, with her liking football only enhancing everything else.

When I sleep at night, I do not count sheep. I count her yummy bouncies.