Archive for June, 2012

Supreme Court–Taxing Garbleschnizzle

Saturday, June 30th, 2012


As part of C-Span’s “Road to the White House” series, we covered President Obama’s most recent press conference since the Supreme Court’s decision on the Affordable Care Act. We present you President Obama explaining why a tax is not really a tax. He consulted with Snoop Dogg and Bill Cosby before speaking.


Eric Holder, Meet Liar Liar Jim Carrey

Friday, June 29th, 2012

Eric Holder, Meet Liar Liar  Jim Carrey

Congress has held Attorney General Eric Holder in contempt of Congress for, among other things, being Eric Holder. The political theatre played out the moment the vote was concluded


Obamacare upheld as a tax

Thursday, June 28th, 2012

SCOTUS Shocker: Obamacare upheld

Once again, the United States Supreme Court has shown the American people never to jump to conclusions.

The conventional wisdom was that the Affordable Care Act, known as Obamacare, would be struck down partially or completely. At the very least, the individual mandate requiring Americans to purchase health care would be deemed unconstitutional. Instead, the Supreme Court upheld the law entirely.


Supreme Court rulings and conservative behavior

Wednesday, June 27th, 2012

The SCOTUS Arizona Immigration Decision–The unsaid hidden truths

While the nation braced for the Supreme Court ruling on Obamacare, a pair of other decisions came down from Mount Olympus.

Yet what was said and done should take a back seat to everything unsaid and not done. Many events did not occur in the wake of these decisions.


How to clean up the Paulbots Part II

Tuesday, June 26th, 2012

How to clean up the Paulbots Part II

PART II: This is the second in a two part series analyzing Ron Paul supporters and what the rest of us should do about them. The first part dealt with their propensity to use profanity, vulgarity, and bigotry in expressing themselves in the name of liberty and tolerance. They respond to this charge with hostility in the form of more of the same. The idea of expressing policy views politely is lost on many of them. Yet while the first part dealt with how they expressed their beliefs, the second part deals with the very heart of what they believe. This is about policy, and only policy.

The conclusion of this series deals with the 2012 GOP Convention in Tampa.


Andrea Mitchell, Eric Holder, and selective truth

Monday, June 25th, 2012

Andrea Mitchell, Eric Holder, and selective truth

Andrea Mitchell, Mitt Romney, and more selectively edited footage.

Andrea Mitchell of MNSBC recently became embroiled in a case involving selective editing of video footage. While most networks would consider this to be unethical if not illegal, at NBC News the solution is to double down. MSNBC personalities recently engaged in a contest to see who could creatively manipulate the news best. Here are their submissions, along with responses from the victims of the manipulated footage. The responses were aired on other networks but not MSNBC.


Advice for the Los Angeles Kings

Sunday, June 24th, 2012

Congratulations to the Los Angeles Kings, Miami Heat, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. The month of June brought them true glory.

Yet in winning it all, these teams also had one other thing in common. That quality may be almost as important as the victories.


Nancy Pelosi: Queen of Dingbatistan

Saturday, June 23rd, 2012

Nancy Pelosi: Queen of Dingbatistan

House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi represents her San Francisco district very well. Yet even by San Francisco standards, her newest utterance crossed the line.

Only a couple of days after saying she could have personally arrested Karl Rove, Sheriff Pelosi continued her quest to steal the Barney Fife position from Vice President Joe Biden.

The scandal itself is Fast and Furious, which has engulfed Attorney General Eric Holder and led to President Obama exerting Executive Privilege to protect his ideological soulmate. Congressman Darrell Issa is trying to get to the truth. He wants Mr. Holder to turn over documents.

Yet Ms. Pelosi has her own theory as to the real motives behind the push to force Mr. Holder to obey the very laws he is supposed to be upholding.

The Pelosiraptor has determined that the real scandal is Republicans purposely targeting Mr. Holder so they can engage in voter suppression.

For those unable to connect the dots, Pelosiraptor synapses do not work in typical fashion. Cutting through the liberal fog reveals the same tired race warfare.

Mr. Holder happens to be black. Therefore, any attempt to silence him is an attempt to prevent black people in America from voting.

“Voter suppression” refers to minorities. This is because the suppression of white voters under Mr. Holder has long been tolerated, as evidenced by the refusal to deal with the New Black Panther Party.

The only way Ms. Pelosi could top herself is if she figured out a way to blame Mitt and Ann Romney for the Jerry Sandusky crimes. After all, they are all Caucasian parents, what Barack Obama would call “typical white people.”

Ms. Pelosi does not have a shred of evidence to back up her theory. While Democrats have a habit in recent years of spreading racial poison, this accusation is so far beyond the bounds of normalcy that even liberal Democrats are hesitant to jump on the hyperbole train.

Therefore, there is another explanation for Ms. Pelosi’s utterances.

She very well could be a complete and total dingbat.

While describing her as the illiterate cousin of a dolt may not be nice, accuracy in reporting requires analyzing the reincarnation of Jean Stapleton’s Edith Bunker. The “All in the Family” actress drove Carroll O’Connor’s Archie Bunker crazy with her odd commentary that made sense only to her.

This reached its zenith when Archie pointed out that Jews changed their last names to blend into Christian society. He cited Morris Smith, Izzy Watson, and others. When son-in-law Mike Stivic tried to disprove the theory by mentioning President Abraham Lincoln, Edith replied, “I didn’t know Lincoln was Jewish.”

There ws only one thing Archie could say, and he said it many times over the years.

“Stifle yourself, Edith.”

What else can one say when confronted with idiocy? Telling people to “shut up” may not be polite, but sometimes it is downright necessary. Wanting people to pipe down is based on subjective criteria, but at some point their have to be universal standards, no matter how low the television sound-bite era has sunk.

Nancy Pelosi was the woman who said of Obamacare that “We have to pass the bill to find out what’s in it.”

This is the woman who flew to Syria and put on a burka to sip tea with murderer Bashar Assad.

This is the woman who became Speaker of the House and lost the Democratic Majority in only four years. Republicans nationalized the 2010 elections largely around making her the face of the Democratic Party.

Now she wants Americans to believe that Republicans want to force the Attorney General to cooperate with a legitimate investigation of a dead border agent out of racism.

South Carolina Congressman Trey Gowdy called Ms. Pelosi’s remarks “mind-numbingly stupid.”

While Mr. Gowdy is right, maybe Ms. Pelosi simply is unable to help herself. Maybe the water in San Francisco truly does have higher lead contents than the law allows.

Maybe she really is just the Queen of Dingbatistan.

Republicans must not be intimidated by false racism accusations. Mr. Issa must continue his investigation. If Mr. Holder is held in contempt, so be it. Had he cooperated and turned over documents over one year ago, this could have been settled long before voters were to go to the presidential polls.

The goal is to get to the truth. The truth is Mr. Holder and President Obama are acting like they are hiding something.

The truth is that Ms. Pelosi, as usual, has no idea what she is talking about.

The truth is that America in 2012 is smarter and better than the nonsensical racial politics Ms. Pelosi espouses.

So to the Pelosiraptor, only one message should be delivered.

Nancy, go stifle yourself.


Karen Klein–What next?

Friday, June 22nd, 2012


By now the entire world has heard of Karen Klein and the savage treatment she received from some teenagers.

Ms. Klein was sitting on a school bus fulfilling her responsibilities as a monitor when the students began verbally abusing her. They ridiculed her weight, and suggested that she was alone because her relatives killed themselves. Sadly, she did lose a child to suicide a decade earlier.

The only good that came out of this horrible situation was that in this digital age, a videotape of the occurrence surfaced. The outrage at the student bullies was swift and severe. They have received death threats.

A wellspring of sympathy came for the 68 year old Klein. A website attempted to raise $5,000 to send her on a nice vacation from her busing duties. Within one day, $400,000 had been raised. Now Mrs. Klein has a nice retirement nest egg. Southwest Airlines has offered to fly her and nine friends for free to Disney World.

There are many good people in this world, and the outpouring of affection for a complete stranger has shown the best of the human condition. Yet one question remains.

What do we do about the worst of the human condition? Can we do anything?

When the initial bloodlust wears off, cooler heads will realize that taking the students and physically beating the daylights out of them is not the appropriate solution. Mrs. Klein is refusing to press charges against them, showing significantly more restraint than most people.

Some hard questions need to be asked. Are these kids salvageable? Or is society delaying the inevitable by not locking them up and throwing the key away? Of all the sins that seem beyond redemption, the capacity to engage in unprovoked deliberate cruelty would seem to top the list.

It might even be fun to assume that most childhood bullies grow up to Hitler, Stalin, or Pol Pot, but the truth is that most people mature over time. Life can be very humbling. The toughest teenager can be knocked down hard long before they turn thirty.

My own experiences came flooding back to me this past February. While sitting with my parents in Florida, an ordinary day saw my jaw drop when a Facebook message left me stunned.

“If I rcvd a friend request from me would say no. I was so mean to you and I am sorry. It sounds like your doing great. Congrats on the book. (name redacted)”

I had not thought about this girl in about 25 years. Yet I needed less than the blink of an eye to remember her as the girl who tortured me in junior high school. I never understood why she did it.

Some people never recover from childhood bullying. The schools cannot stop it. Parents cannot stop it. Students are taught not to fight back, but I finally successfully fought back and put a stop to it.

Yet the only reason I survived in life was because I left the dreary Long Island town I grew up in, landed in Los Angeles, and built a good life for myself. This girl from junior high school stayed in that town.

For a few minutes, I sat staring at my computer. I write for a living, yet getting this response right was much tougher than a normal homework assignment. Pretty soon the answer came, and there would be no edits, rewrites, or agonizing.

“(name redacted),

Of course I remember you. We were kids back then. We’re adults now. None of us are who we were in junior high school.

Thank you for the kind note. What made you contact me after all this time? I am surprised anyone from (town redacted) even remembers me.

eric aka the Tygrrrr Express”

Her response was very telling.

“The reason why I contacted you is because I wanted you to know I was sorry and I was curious what you did with your life. I will never forget our (redacted) incident. HaHa. I would love to read your book. I am going to get it. I always remember my classmates. You were different and very smart. I still will never understand why I was so mean. I am so happy my daughter is not like I was. I am so glad you forgive me. We should keep in touch. Hows California living? I hear its beautiful over there. Ciao for now. (name redacted)”

I responded again.

“(name redacted),

Your email to me shows much decency and character and I respect you for that. Of course I forgive you. We all need to be more forgiving of others, myself included.

I hope life brings you bliss, happiness, and inner peace.

eric aka the Tygrrrr Express”

She thanked me, and that was that. We have not spoken since that one conversation four months ago. There is no animosity. We are just both busy people. I work endless hours, and she has a child to raise. Plus, I am a pretty boring guy with narrow interests. The whole point of Facebook is for people to reach out to others from the past, have a great conversation catching up, and then realize they have little in common and lose touch again until the official reunions.

The fact that this woman at age forty spent even one minute of her existence fretting over some guy she bullied in the 1980s is stunning to me.

Four months later, I can safely say that the woman did not grow up to be a genocidal killer or terrorist. She went from a junior high school bully to a loving wife and mother with a depth many adults do not possess.

This is why the Karen Klein story cannot be wrapped up in a nice little bow. This is why, despite wanting to take her tormentors and rip their tongues out, cooler heads have to prevail.

They should be punished. Yet punishment should be about justice, not vengeance. Destroying the rest of their lives prevents them from possibly contributing to society. They should face suspensions and be forced to walk to school when the suspensions are lifted. They should be forced to speak at other schools about the pain that bullying can cause. Then the slate should be wiped clean after they have served their sentence.

Maybe one day this story will truly have a happy ending when these children truly learn and understand the horror and pain they inflicted.

Besides, if they act out again in the future, at some point it will be toward somebody who fights back. At that point the beating they receive will be more severe, and hopefully videotaped for their friends and enemies to see.


The Top 120 Political Yummy Bouncies of 2012

Thursday, June 21st, 2012

The Top 120 Political Yummy Bouncies of 2012

Welcome to the first day of Summer, June 21st. That can only mean one thing. It is time for the 2012 list of the Top 120 Political Yummy Bouncies.

Warning: Parental advisory: Explicit lyrics and pics.

For those who want the clean, sanitized version, The Top 30 Political Women of 2012, here it is.

Now for the in the raw, uncensored version.

When high finance meets high society, we get finance movies such as “Stocks and Blondes,” where the woman is covered only in the ticker tape. Yet even more powerful than the cocktail of sex and Wall Street comes in the mixture of sex and politics.

It is in that spirit that I have compiled the list of the Top 120 Political Yummy Bouncies.

Technically this is not much different from listing the top 30 hottest political women, except that the focus is on their T and A.

From the front, I dream of playing sexual volleyball, bouncing them vigorously. From the backside, I hope to play Sir Mixalot’s “Baby Got Back,” while giving them the ketchup bottle treatment.

For those wondering why the girl I like is not on the list, the answer is simple. I value my existence. There is not a woman on earth that compares to her in my opinion. Her body is a temple, and I hope to enjoy worshiping at her altar. Yep, her holy grail is quite holy indeed.

Nevertheless, I had a life before encountering her, which basically consisted of uncontrollable sobbing knowing that the women on this list were not mine. To the best of my knowledge, I have had sex with none of them.

Compiling the list was more difficult than I expected. I thought the trouble would be narrowing the list. The reverse was the case. To even find that many women that caught my attention were rare. Politics is mostly powerful bald white guys, and I have never been attracted to the cue ball look.

The list has been divided into the top 10 liberals, centrists, and conservatives. Given that they were all anatomically correct, this added up to 20 breasts and 20 hides per all three political denominations.

Pictures of all of the women are included, but because they were all fully dressed in the pictures, some would say that makes the exercise pointless.

Several of these women are over 40, and even in some cases over 50. So what? Hot is hot.

Some women were left off of the list because they are so hot that it keeps others from having a chance. Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann winning the presidency or even the nomination would have merited the top spot. They are great ladies, and will absolutely return very soon to this list.

Michelle Malkin remains off of the list because I am still afraid of her.

Mary Katherine Ham has kept a lower profile, but could easily return next year. Andrea Tantaros is forever stunning but her Fox News co-hosts deserved their turn. Plus, there was an overload of Greek goddesses this year.

Ann Romney was left off of the list because I do not want to have President Mitt Romney sending predator drones up my rumpus. Ann Romney is a great lady and an inspiring woman who should be admired by all. Call off the dogs and the Secret Service, Governor Romney.

Shannon Doherty has a lifetime beauty award. The moment she gets back into politics, she rockets to the top because she is Shannon Doherty.

With that, here are the lists from 2008, 2009, 2010, and 2011.





Now, without further delay I bring the Top 120 Political Yummy Bouncies of 2012.


10.) The New Media Goddesses–Social networking has brought a bey of new beauties onto the scene.

Tabitha Hale is on the Freedomworks circuit.

Bettina Inclan is the RNC Director of Hispanic Outreach.

Dana Loesch works for the Breitbart entities.

Amanda Read writes for the Communities at the Washington Times.

9.) A pair of youthful Republican ladies are all grown up.

Dee Dee Benkie is the former President of the National Federation of Young Republicans. Now she is the National Committeewoman from Indiana.

Julia Hurley is a former Hooters waitress who is now a member of the Tennessee Legislature.

8.) Fox News Legal Bombshells: There are so many Fox News lovelies, but this the year where a couple of prosecutors get their due after being incorrectly overlooked in the past.

Megyn Kelly lays down the law during the day.

Kimberly Guilfoyle is a co-host of The 5. She bounces in her chair to the music, which she knows drives the male audience insane.

7.) Kelly Ayotte–The United States Senator from New Hampshire is a rising star from a political and beauty standpoint.

6.) Sethrida Greagea–This rabid right winger is the head of the Lebanon Forces Party. Her husband spent time in jail, and she is a determined warrior.

5.) Pam Bondi–The Florida Attorney General is a tough as nails prosecutor who simply looks stunning. She is the lead plaintiff in the fight to derail Obamacare. If the Supreme Court overturns the law, she will rocket up this list next year.

4.) Lisa Roper–The National Federation of Republican Women is the only reason the GOP ever wins anything as long as we live. Many of these ladies refer to themselves as “blue hairs,” but Lisa Roper is proof that the NFRW is getting younger and hotter. She is a member of the leadership, which the NFRW and men everywhere should be happy about.

3.) Victoria Delaguerra Seaman–She just ran for the Nevada Assembly. She lost by exactly nine votes, and now there is a recount. If only men could vote she would win by a landslide.

2.) Mara Carfagna–This former topless dancer entered politics. So who brought her to power? Who else? Bunga Bunga Sex Partier Silvio Berlusconi. Ms. Carfagna is the Italian Minister for Equal Opportunity. Do not be fooled by the title. Most people have zero opportunity to date her or have her job. She is one of the most beautiful women on Earth, and missed out on the top spot due to a very unique situation.

1.)  Rebecca Kleefisch–The Lieutenant Governor of Wisconsin faced a recall election with Governor Scott Walker. A loss would have hurt her on this list, but the decisive victory merits the top spot. The crush most men have on her is nothing compared to the crushing blow her win did to the public sector unions. They are as hellacious as she is heavenly. A top enemy of the left deserves to be the top of any list of loveliness.


10.) Angela Gerekou–She is a member of the Greek Parliament and is also their Tourism Minister. The country would not be broke if more people knew about her.

9.) Christa Markwalder–This Switzerland Liberal is actually a centrist, since Switzerland liberals are actually Libertarians.

8.) Yuri Fujikawa is a Japanese City Councilwoman. She had a life before politics, and the pictures show it to be a fascinating one.

7.) Nicole Petallides is a Fox Business beauty who gets paid to distract people from all of their market losses. With that look, she succeeds.

6.) Lauren Simonetti is another Fox Business beauty. The function is the same, and just as effective. The Doublemint Twins are now brunettes working for Fox Business. No wonder business is good.

5.) Joanna Mucha is a member of the Polish Lower House. Poland does get overlooked from time to time, but now we know why it was so important for the Berlin Wall to come down.

4.) Emma Kiernan is a young politico in Ireland. For some reason images of bangers and mash keep occurring, but that could be related to England only and not Ireland. Either way, rumors of the conflict in Northern Ireland being fought over her may or may not be true.

3.) Kendra Carter is a rabid Ron Paul supporter who is one of the young guns helping to seize the GOP from the establishment. In her 20s and with several tattoos, she somehow comes across as different from so many of the other Paul supporters who face criticism. It could be her body. She is the Secretary of the Yellowstone County Republican Central Committee, the largest such group of its kind in Montana. She could storm the Mountain West just by flashing her eyes at people. Yet an extreme situation kept her out of the top spot.

2.) Erin Burnett works for CNN, which is why many people have not heard of her. If she left CNN their audience would approach absolute zero. She is a goddess of beauty and the only thing left at the last place Cable News Network worth focusing on.

1.) Colombian Call Girls–The Secret Service Scandal that rocked the White House is just another example of why women control this world. To prevent this scandal from happening again, the only solution is to ban men from becoming Secret Service agents. The whole point of having access to power is to gain access to sizzling South American women.


10.) A pair of new media feminists. Not all feminists are hideously ugly.

Jill Filipovic is the woman behind the Feministe site.

Jessica Valenti started an in your face site entitled Feministing. Draw your own conclusions. Be afraid of these women. Be very afraid.

9.) Julia Bonk–This Germany legislator entered the political arena at age 18. Now she is 24 and her career is blossoming, among other things.

8.) A pair of Kirstens.

Kirsten Gillibrand is the junior Senator from New York. Any woman looks lovely compared to Chuck Schumer, but she is a beauty in her own right.

Kirsten Powers used to date Anthony Weiner. Now she that rare breed, a liberal Democrat who actually calls out her own side when they cross the line. Integrity is a very hot quality.*ariJrL-nyG4IG8rKA8kpgeHTcDIri7pvjrHju4ArT9QYT1V604*gfKS/kirstenpowers.jpg

7.) Julie Roginsky–There are plenty of Democratic strategists, but she is one of the most tenacious. She looks hot when she does her righteous indignation pose, which is frequently.

6.) Stephanie Miller is the founder of the Sexy Liberal Comedy Tour. While it may be just a bunch of anti-Palin and anti-Bush jokes, perhaps she is better than most liberal comedians. To call oneself sexy requires backing it up. She does.

5.) Margie Omero is another Democratic strategist. She takes a more pleasant approach, but still gets her points across effectively. Her looks do not hurt in this regard.

4.) Tamara Holder is a bleeding heart defense attorney who actually cares for the people she represents. Her unpretentiousness and lack of phoniness makes her a rare breed in the legal arena. She is also quite easy on the eyes.

3.) Leslie Marshall is a liberal radio host. She may be the hottest liberal radio host, but with competition from Ed Schultz and Alan Colmes that is not too tough. She is a fierce debater. Her verbal combat skills are matched only by her pleasant nature and warm smile.

2.) Alina Kabaeva has lit up Russia. In 2011 she was rumored to be romantically involved with Vladimir Putin. Now she is a member of the Russian legislature. She belongs to…what else? Of course, the pro-Putin party. Her eyes could kill, but people should fear her alleged boyfriend even more.

1.) A pair of Evas reign supreme.

Eva Longoria rocketed to stardom on Desperate Housewives. The entire first season of the show was about her frolicking around in her underwear. Yet this Latin sex goddess played Gabriele Solis, a vapid woman who got by on her looks. She announced after the show ended that she would dedicate the next few months solely to helping reelect President Obama. Sadly, art may be imitating life.

Eva Kaili is a Greek member of Parliament. The country is going down in flames, but she is a raging beauty among the financial carnage. Greece is known for the Acropolis and the Olympics. Now it is know for her.

Staring at all of these women can be exhausting. A nap is now in order. Time to count sheep, or in my case, a certain brunette’s apolitical yummy bouncies. 4…8…12…zzzzzzzzzz