THE TYGRRRR EXPRESS

Throughout Hanukkah, my goal is to honor the military tradition of this holiday by taking on the  enemies of Jews and Israel. This third night of Hanukkah has me taking on the terrorist sleeper cell at the University of Crooked Lying Arabists (UCLA) located in their CNES.

The UCLA Center for Near Eastern Studies (CNES) recently held a lecture by UCLA History Professor James Gelvin.

The lecture was entitled “Enemies and Mistaken Identities: Political Islam in a Post-9/11 World.”

Translated, this means “those poor murderous Islamofascist fuzzballs sit around inbetween bombings singing the 1960s hit by the Animals, “I’m just a soul whose intentions are good…Oh Allah please don’t let me be misunderstood.”

The UCLA CNES Department has been renamed the 4H Club, which stands for Hamas, Hezbollah, Hearts, and Hugs.

About 35 people attended, and what differentiated this lecture from most other ones on this topic was that an event for students was actually attended by…shockingly enough…students. It did not end until 9pm, so the typical aging baby boomer revolutionaries were most likely at home sleeping.

As for the lecture itself, the basic message behind the thin veneer of jargon was that one man’s terrorist is another man’s freedom fighter, and that everything is subjective.

“I am unhappy with the way movements like Al Qaeda have been portrayed. I want to put them in a social science context.”

“Some groups certainly are America’s enemies. Others are not but they get caught in crossfire. Others we do not like, but we should reach detente.”

It is tough to hold hands with people when they are trying to chop hands off and blow them up. He then turned the blame on America, who has never had a president commit genocide.

“The Armed Islamic Group (GIA) was approached by Osama Bin Laden to attack the West. The GIA told Bin Laden, ‘we are interested in just Algeria.’

The GIA became the Salafist Group for Preaching and Combat (GSPC). After 9/11, President George W. Bush began going after the GSBC. They then contacted Al Qaeda and began targeting Westerners.”

I was worried that the professor would fail to blame Republicans for the actions of foreign terrorists. Luckily he had his script with him.

“There is a problem of labeling. An April of 2008 Department of Homeland Security memo told agents not to characterize them as religious figures.  Banned words ranged from Islamofascist to violent extremist.”

“The Dali Llama is a pacifist extremist”

The joke bombed, prompting Professor Gelvin to say “I usually do better with that line.”

He then went back to being an apologist. Some people make up facts. He makes up words in a manner that would make everybody from Dr. Seuss to Don King proud.

“We need to move from religion to terrorology, the science of terror.”

I spent two hours majoring in garbagology, the science of studying UCLA CNES professors in their artificial habitat.

“I commend the Department of Homeland Security for dropping the term ‘Jihadi’ with regards to Bin Laden since it blames all Muslims.”

No it does not. Jihadists are killers.

“Al Qaeda equates Jihad with armed struggle. Most Islamic scholars do not equate the two.”

This is another reason why nobody listens to scholars except their equally obtuse colleagues.

“Identifying Bin Laden with Jihad bolsters his religious credentials.”

Identifying anti-American, anti-Semitic professors bolsters their academic credentials at liberal arts colleges. So what? If this is preventable it would have been prevented.

“Important is the Department of Homeland Security also dropping the term ‘Salafi.’ Salafi means ‘Muslim scholars reaching truth.'”

“Al Qaeda are Salafis, but so are the Taliban. Modernist Salafis want to bring Islam in line with the modern world. Koran and Hadith matched to modern ideals. Democracy, women’s rights, and human rights are in the Koran and Hadith.”

Left out of the discussion were such modern and civilized actions such as stonings and honor killings.

So how does a left-wing professor reconcile such leftism with admiration for Islam? By declaring Islam to be progressive and everybody else backward.

“Reformation of Islam is what modern Westernists are so patronizingly demanding. There is an audacity of outsiders demanding Islamic reformation. Islam is a reformation.”

“God gave the exact reformation to Jews and Christians but they screwed it up.”

Osama Bin Laden is similar to the Protestant reformation.”

“Calling them terrorists and violent extremists, these terms are too vague to use.”

“There are plenty of terrorists in that case. There is Osama Bin Laden, the Unabomber, the Red Brigades of Italy, and at least three Prime Ministers of Israel.”

“Violence can be for various purposes. Osama Bin Laden kills people. So do shark attacks.”

Is he comparing Muslims to fish? This could be grounds for a Fatwa.

Gelvin then lamented the way most people insist on labeling terrorists as such while giving non-terrorist democracies a free pass

“It’s never us, always them.”

“Osama Bin Laden pointed out that any nation that would drop nuclear bombs on Nagasaki and Hiroshima nation has no right to call him a terrorist. Any nations supporting Jews enslaving Palestinians has no right to call him a terrorist.”

Does Jeff Foxworthy have the right to call Gelvin a redneck?

Either way, any professor who even bothers to cite Osama Bin Laden without the necessary condemnation afterward is an apologist and enabler.

“The Zionist Crusader Alliance is the main enemy of Islam.”

Radical Islam has murdered hundreds of thousands of fellow Muslims in places where Jews do not exist.

Gelvin then sought to distinguish bad guys such as Al Qaeda from warm fuzzy huggable entities such as Hamas and Hezbollah.

“Hamas is not a natural ally of Al Qaeda. Both might be called Jihadi, Salafi, Islamists, terrorists. Hamas has been condemned for reaching agreements with secularists, participating in the Palestinian parliament, and honoring old agreements with Israel.”

No, they have honored commitments against Israel. At least they are dedicated.

“With Hamas, the liberation of Palestine is the goal, not an entire Caliphate.”

They only want to eliminate Little Satan, so the Great Satan should see them as comparatively lovable.

“Reformists are those advocating incremental change. They provide social services and charity. This includes Hamas and Hezbollah.”

Gelvin was offering excremental nonsense, although perhaps giving him a platform is the educational equivalent of chairty.

“Islamonationalists seek to control instruments of the state, and engage in a war of national liberation. This also includes Hamas and Hezbollah.

Gelvin then offered evidence of why he most likely snorts more than Gummy Bears in his leisure time.

“The Zionist Crusader Alliance created United Nations, which created Israel, which was created to subjugate Islam.”

He then began singing about how the hip bone is connected to the leg bone.

“Islam a universal religion. Other religions are based on territorial nationalism such as Irish nationalists and Zionists.”

“Both reformists and Islamonationalists work within the nation-state system.”

Al Qaeda is closer to an Arabist network than to Hamas or Hezbollah. It is a deformed twin of Marxism.”

No, that would be the UCLA CNES Department. It is easy to get confused.

Gelvin then tried to explain Bin Laden’s rationale, which Gelvin did not condemn.

“The Zionist Crusader Alliance aggression against the global Islamic community and the right to self defense justifies Al Qaeda’s actions. We must defend against Russian atrocities in Afghanistan, the struggle for Kashmir, and Jewish aggression in Palestine and Lebanon.”

Perhaps the professor meant a struggle for Cashmere. When living in a cave, life is miserable without a warm furry coat. Given that Bin Laden’s minions have resulted in many bunny rabbits and other animals being collateral damage, it is safe to assume he would not mind wearing the blood of the Western critter enemy, be it Cashmere or Sable.

“Zionist Crusader Alliance aggression instilled nationalism in Muslims to divide and subjugate them, and installed the nation-state system for same reason.”

“Too much has been made of Al Qaeda’s desire to spread the Caliphate. The Caliphate reeks of exoticism, so the United States likes it.”

Ground Zero reeks of burnt bodies, making Al Qaeda more hated in New York City than the Red Sox.

“Hezbollah is reformist because it provides social services.”

“Twenty-eight groups are waging an intra-national struggles, some are thugs for hire, and some are just plain weird.”

The weirdest ones teach at UCLA.

“There is a political wing of Hezbollah. Barack Obama is willing to talk to reasonable members of the Taliban. Yet Obama has launched more drone attacks than entire Bush Administration. Groups should be compared by aims, not lumped together by tactics.”

“Why is Obama not willing to work with political groups and recognize them?”

Because unlike lifetime tenured professors, where quality and merit are often job zero, presidents do not have absolute power. They have to answer to voters.

“We have been responsible for more dictatorships than any outside power.”

“You cannot read an Al Qaeda document and believe it comes from Al Qaeda. Americans and Saudis have access to the web, take it as a grain of salt.”

Gelvin then channeled his inner Bill Ayers, blurring the line between academia and hobbies.

“I learned how to make a bomb on the internet. Some bombs are effective, other bombs you will blow your head off. I did this as a lark. This is my tip to the FBI.”

“In the modern period, the concept of politics was invented.”

I wonder if UCLA teaches Greco-Roman civilization classes.

“Some people have 19 reasons to to be scared.”

The students did not understand.

“I will give you a second to meditate on that.”

The students remained non-plussed as Gelvin gave up his comedy attempts.

“The hijackers.”

“Our obsession with Afghanistan is dragging on.”

Not really. As soon as we kill every Al Qaeda terrorist worldwide we will go back to watching sports and holding bake sales. Al Qaeda interferes with that from time to time.

“Al Qaeda should be killed, but the Soviets, we reached an agreement and did not blow each other up. We should handle each group on a case by case basis. We made mistakes with Hezbollah and Hamas. We erred in dragging the United Nations into the Quartet. Hamas has moved halfway, and gotten nothing in return. They said they will not accept Israel, but will abide by them. They will not have peace, but they will have a truce. The European Union, United States, and Russia are dishonest brokers. As soon as the Palestinian Authority was governed by Hamas, the Quartet embargoed them. This is pretty d@mn harsh, not thinking efficiently or wisely.”

Just because Hezbollah sings “Meet me halfway” while killing people does not mean Kenny Loggins would be spared. He married a Jewish woman. As for dishonest brokers, Yassir Arafat can blame Goldman Sachs all he wants, but they did not help him funnel money to his wife in France. He used a dishonest Hamas broker.

“The Egyptian Muslim Brotherhood should be given a chance. It pledged itself to moderation.”

“The rise of religious Islam in the 1970s is because secular governments failed. With Iran, the Mullahs are not the only group involved. Communists helped overthrow the Shah as well.”

An academic just blamed the Communists. It is one thing to criticize the Jews, but criticizing his fellow Trotskeyites could get him sent to bed without a Halal sanctioned supper.

“The secular-religious line invented by the Enlightenment movement did not like religion. We still do not have a vocabulary to talk about religious faith.”

Actually, the Old Testament is written using vocabulary words. Those words are just banned on secular campuses.

“Zach Lochman is a little to the left. I am influenced by him. He resonated with me.”

“I don’t think we have the tools to take this out of social science. Regarding beliefs, I don’t think we have the tools for that.”

By “we,” he means he and is his fellow intellectual invalids. Most people do have the tools.

“There is no them and us. It is all us. People all think in the same way. We think like Osama Bin Laden, he thinks like we do. There is no thinking outside that box.”

How dare he slander Mr. Bin Laden! Mr. Bin Laden would never advocate shutting down American universities, especially since they do his bidding.

“El Fadl is not a Salafist. He has a wonderful article about tolerance and Islam, social justice and humanism.”

“Why does the Koran text have so much authority? Many Muslims do not go to the text.”

“There was a wonderful article in Inspire magazine. It shows exactly how you do make a bomb in your mom’s kitchen.”

“The Global War On Terror was exactly what Osama Bin Laden wanted, and we gave it to him in spades.”

Of course, because most people who inherit 300 million dollars want to live on the run without cable television. He cannot even find somebody to Tivo “Desperate Mullah Housewives” or “Dancing with the Salafis” for him.

“We overestimated these guys. 9/11 was a horrible act, but we overstated them.”

I overestimated Gelvin. I thought he had half a coherent thought.

“Pancho Villa is hiding with Osama Bin Laden. A country does not wage war on an individual. We came to their level.”

“Every terrorist group is different. The IRA, the Zionists, they are different. Others like Hamas and Hezbollah want to join the system and issue their own postage stamps. They can succeed.”

So in summation, not only does Gelvin spend his spare time researching how to make bombs online, he wants to encourage us to allow Hamas and Hezbollah to enter the postage industry.

We know what gets mailed in those packages, as Islamofascists continue to get help from enablers in the academic community.

This is why the only thing that should be blown up in America is the tenure system.

eric

As the second night of Hanukkah approaches, a war of words has broken out between those supporting Jews and Israel and those condemning both. As expected, liberal Jews fail to grasp that this split on Israel divides along ideological lines.

The anti-Semitism in America and worldwide is coming from the left. Those supporting Jews and Israel are on the right. Exceptions in both cases are statistical aberrations.

Anti-Semitism on the right has not had any serious traction or credibility since the 1950s, before William Buckley led the purge of it from conservative ranks. The occasional “conservative” anti-Semite is a political gadfly nobody takes seriously. The left holds them up to demonize everyone on the right.

Yet in the days leading up to Hanukkah, charges and counter-charges exploded between supporters of Glenn Beck and George Soros.

Glenn Beck has been trying to bring down (thank God for this) George Soros. Mr. Beck’s motive is because Soros despises the United States, and is actively seeking to destroy America through economic terrorism.

He is already a convicted insider trader in France, and he singlehandedly broke the bank of England and wrecked the British Pound. His leftist supporters are too busy worshiping faulty science to notice that Soros profiteers off of human misery. He has wrecked third world currencies and starved already poor people.

Mr. Beck has never claimed altruism. He thinks Mr. Soros is evil, and wants him stopped.

Mr. Beck has shown extended video clips of Mr. Soros that are completely in context. They are not spliced.

Critics of Mr. Beck and supporters of Mr. Soros have attacked Mr. Beck, but never given concrete evidence of why Mr. Beck is wrong.

The internet has billions of people ready to pounce on factual mistakes. Not one individual has disproved Mr. Beck’s accusations. They attack Mr. Beck personally.

Mr. Beck showed clips of Mr. Soros bragging about how much he enjoyed living under Nazi occupation. Mr. Soros stated how he could not stand Israel.

What Mr. Soros did as a teenager is help send his fellow Jews to the gas chambers. As the son of a Holocaust survivor myself, there might not be a worse living entity than George Soros. He has blood all over his hands, and no money will wash the stain away.

Mr. Soros has spent his life funding Anti-Israel causes, in addition to anti-American causes as well.

Mr. Soros even blames Jews and Republicans for worldwide anti-Semitism.

http://judaism.about.com/library/2_americanjewry/bl_soros.htm

“There is a resurgence of anti-Semitism in Europe. The policies of the Bush administration and the Sharon administration contribute to that,” Soros said. “If we change that direction, then anti-Semitism also will diminish.”

George W. Bush and Ariel Sharon are out of power. Did anti-Semitism diminish? Not at all. It never will as long as Soros funds leftist and anti-Israel groups that spread virulent strains of Jew-hatred.

The solution of Soros supporters was to play the bigotry card and call Mr. Beck an anti-Semite.

This is insane.

The train of thought is simple.

Step 1: Mr. Beck calls out Mr. Soros for being a greedy crooked financier who exploits people for his own gain. He funds organizations meant to destabilize the world.

Step 2: One way to falsely attack Jews is by calling them crooked in business. Anti-Semites worldwide babble about a Zionist conspiracy to take over the world. Alan Greenspan, Ben Bernanke, Hank Paulson, Paul Wolfowitz, and other Jews are evidence of this conspiracy.

Step 3: George Soros (while self-loathing and disavowing) is born to a Jewish family.

Step 4, the inaccurate conclusion: Any attack on George Soros is because he is Jewish, and an attack on all Jews. Therefore, Glenn Beck is an anti-Semite.

Yet leftists cannot get their attacks against Glenn Beck straight. On the one hand he is attacking Soros for reasons of anti-Semitism. Yet conversely, some leftists say that Mr. Beck is only attacking Soros for being a leftist, and that the Jewish angle is irrelevant. So therefore Mr. Beck is anti-Semitic for not truly caring.

He is attacked either way, for the Jewish issue being irrelevant or vital. That is nuts.

Soros is an evil guy who is a leftist bent on destroying the American economy through an “orderly managed decline in the dollar.” The fact that he happily aided in the genocide of his own people is just another example of his evil.

Is it Glenn Beck’s responsibility to catch every Jewish killer, or can we just let Simon Wiesenthal handle that? Simon has his job and Glenn has his.

The real fakery is being done by Mr. Beck’s critics.

They have zero interest in Jews or Judaism with regards to him. They despise him because he is a threat to leftism. If anybody is “using” the Jewish cause to further an agenda, it is the left.

This is what the left does. Criticize a black president, be called a racist. Object to the congenital liars who run the NOW, be called a sexist. Criticize any leftist with any mention of something Jewish, be labeled an anti-Semite.

(Left-wing sycophant Abe Foxman at the Anti-Defamation League had to apologize for calling Mr. Beck an anti-Semite. As I have said many times, liberal Jews need cranial-glutial extraction surgery. Mr. Foxman is no exception.)

When Cindy Sheehan attacked George W. Bush, Maureen Dowd at the Jayson Blair Times said that a “grieving mother’s words were absolute.”

Well I am invoking the Maureen Dowd standard and deciding that my status as the son of a Holocaust survivor renders me qualified to analyze anti-Semitism and Jew-hatred when I see it.

(As a non-liberal, I am incapable of being arrogant enough to consider my opinion absolute.)

I am not tainted by conservative bias. I have called out conservative anti-Semites by name and will continue to do so.

The only issue that matters is the truth. Glenn beck played videotapes of George Soros in his own words.

George Soros has never denied the videos or stated that they were taken out of context.

If somebody called me an aider and abettor to genocide, I would not rely on leftist bloggers to defend me. I would forcefully condemn the accusations myself. I would sue the accuser for defamation. If he had a television show, I would sue the station until he was removed.

Mr. Soros is never silent about anything. He brags about his God complex to anyone who will listen. Yet he is silent in the face of being accused of horrendous evils.

The allegations about him are true. SIlence absolutely is acquiescence in this case.

Liberal Jews attacking Glenn Beck simply hate him for being conservative, effective, existing, and breathing air. Glenn Beck is as pro-Israel as it gets. One of his frequent guests is Rabbi Daniel Lapin.

I have encountered many liberal Jews who freely admit they don’t watch the show. They get information about him from left-wing hate sites.

I have zero problems defending Glenn Beck. I am mystified as to how any decent human being on this Earth could defend a miserable spreader of poison like George Soros.

Glenn Beck worships Jesus. George Soros worships himself. Both of these men are on video stating this.

Glenn Beck wants a healthy American economy. George Soros wants to destroy it.

Glenn Beck is pro-Israel. George Soros is anti-Israel.

Glenn Beck loves America. George Soros despises it.

Most importantly, Glenn Beck has made serious allegations.

George Soros is terrified of Glenn Beck.

If Glenn Beck were blowing smoke, Soros would crush him.

Leftists want to support a man who destroys world economies, helped send his fellow Jews to their deaths, and wants to destroy the American economy feeding, clothing, protecting, and defending the world.

Conservatives want to support the television host trying to stop the billionaire butcher.

I sleep well at night, and so does Glenn Beck.

The left is spreading hatred and lies so they can defend a self-loathing Jew engaging in hatred and lies.

George Soros is the bad guy. Glenn Beck is the good guy.

I know evil when I see it.

All the false charges of anti-Semitism against Glenn Beck will not change the truth.

All the money in the world will not save George Soros from the evil he sees when looking in the mirror.

One of my Hanukkah wishes is for Glenn Beck to help save the American people and the Jewish people (even those to dumb to save themselves) by educating us all. Judah Macabee used swords against Gorgias and Nicanor. Glenn Beck uses words, which are very powerful. Even Soros understands this.

Happy Hanukkah Mr. Beck. You are a better human being of any religion and country than George Soros will ever be.

eric

I had the pleasure yesterday of starting in Los Angeles, having lunch in Las Vegas, dinner in Atlanta, and a nice 2am arrival this morning in Miami. Such is the hub and spoke system of air travel.

Yet all is right with the world, as Hanukkah in Miami begins tonight.

Tomorrow I will be back with my own warped view of the world on my favorite holiday, but for today I am outsourcing my column.

Hanukkah is a celebration of victory in war. If Jews learn anything, it is that wars end when one side gets crushed. Israel is at war now, and the enemy must be crushed. With that, I shall let a man wiser than me ask the question…

“Is the world just plain stupid? Palestine was NEVER a country or a nation.”

Those words arrived in my inbox, with the original source attributed to a Japanese individual named Yashiko Sagamori. While rumors have it that this is a pen name, and the person may or may not be Japanese, the questions Sagamori asks are absolutely relevant.

I rarely get enthused about Facebook groups, but for obvious reasons an exception was warranted in this case.

http://www.facebook.com/search.php?q=yashiko%20sagamori&init=quick&tas=0.262719578307384#!/group.php?gid=96551157190&v=info

I have outsourced every word today from this site, and hope that everybody on Earth does likewise. If ever anything was worth disseminating at a rapid clip, this was it. First I repeat a joke that hould be taken seriously, and then the questions of Sagamori.

“The Israeli Ambassador at the U.N. began, ‘Ladies and gentlemen before I commence with my speech, I want to relay an old Passover story.

When Moses was leading the Jews out of Egypt toward the Promised Land, he had to go through the nearly endless Sinai desert.

When they reached the Promised Land, the people had become very thirsty and needed water. So Moses struck the side of a mountain with his staff and a pond appeared with crystal clean, cool water. The people rejoiced and drank to their hearts’ content.

Moses put down his staff and went to a solitary corner of the pond to drink, and meditate in prayer. But once Moses returned, he found that his staff had been stolen.

‘I have reason to believe ladies and gentlemen that the Palestinians stole the staff of our great Prophet Moses.’

The Palestinian delegate to the UN, hearing this accusation, jumps from his seat and screams out, ‘This is a travesty. It is widely known that there were no such thing as ‘Palestinians’ at that time!”

‘And with that in mind,’ said the Israeli Ambassador, ‘let me now begin my speech.'”

Now for the brilliant Socratic method employed by Sagamori.

“Is the world just plain stupid?

An interesting questionnaire for Palestinian Advocates

By Yashiko Sagamori

If you are so sure Palestine , the country, ‘goes back through most of recorded history,’ I expect you to be able to answer a basic questions about that country of Palestine :

1. When was it founded and by whom?

2. What were its borders?

3. What was its capital?

4. What were its major cities?

5. What constituted the basis of its economy?

6. What was its form of government?

7. Can you name at least one Palestinian leader before Arafat?

8. Was Palestine ever recognized by a country whose existence, at that time or now, leaves no room for interpretation?

9. What was the language of the country of Palestine ?

10. What was the prevalent religion of the country of Palestine ?

11. What was the name of its currency? Choose any date in history and tell what was the approximate exchange rate of the Palestinian monetary unit against the US dollar, German mark, GB pound, Japanese yen, or Chinese Yuan on that date.

12. And, finally, since there is no such country today, what caused its demise and when did it occur?
You are lamenting the ‘low sinking’ of a ‘once proud’ nation.

Please tell me, when exactly was that ‘nation’ proud and what was it so proud of?

Here is the least sarcastic question of all: If the people that are mistakenly called ‘Palestinians’ are anything but generic Arabs collected from all over — or throw outs of — the Arab world, if they really have a genuine ethnic identity that gives them right for self-determination, why did they never try to become independent until Arabs suffered their devastating defeat in the Six Day War?

The truth: these people are Illegal squatters on the land in the Country of Israel.”

Let us all say “Amen,” and a heart “Amen!” to Sagamori.

Happy Hanukkah to the Jews of the world and the people of Israel.

Israel forever, alone, one, and indivisible.

eric