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The Top 120 Political Yummy Bouncies of 2022

Tuesday, June 21st, 2022

The Top 120 Political Yummy Bouncies of 2022

Welcome to Summer. Every June 21st, I release my list of the Top 30 women in politics. This list was originally known as the Top 120 political yummy bouncies. Anyway, this is a bare bones list. You can goggle the photos yourself. The top 10 liberals, centrists and conservatives are listed for your viewing pleasure. I threw in one major curveball due to the changing times. 

Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson did not make the list. For one thing, she does not know what a woman is. She is not a biologist. More importantly, she is not on the Supreme Court until October. Depending on her level of influence, she very well could make the 2023 list. 

Kamala Harris is not on the list. Normally she is, but she has managed to unite the nation against her. Liberals and conservatives both find her annoying. She coasted through life on her looks and charms and even giggled her way to the vice presidency. Yet her act as worn thin. Her looks no longer outmatch her tendency to quickly wear out her welcome wherever she speaks. 

With that, here are the Top 30 Hottest Political Women in 2022.


10.) Jessica Tarlov — This Fox News personality is a liberal, but she has legitimate moments of sanity and lucidity. She is concerned that the Democrat Party she belongs to is going off the rails. She is right. She is also pretty.


9.) Kim Foxx — The Cook County, Illinois State’s Attorney is basically the Chicago District Attorney. With encouragement from Michelle Obama, Foxx helped rig the Jussie Smollett situation in favor of him. Her scheme to undercut her own office unraveled, but it takes much more than corruption to imprison a Chicago Democrat. She recently beat up her husband, but do not expect her to face consequences. 

8.) Taylor Lorenz — Her job is described as a Washington Post tech reporter. She is a domestic terrorist who stalks young people, bullies them into submission, and then cries on cue when she is caught. She has mastered the art of passive-aggressive hyper-feminism, replacing empowerment with helplessness. She was recently caught fabricating her sources in the grand tradition of Jayson Blair. Although her twin rageaholic Felicia Sonmez was fired, don’t expect Lorenz to go anywhere. The bosses are terrified of her. Sonmez only sent angry Tweets. Lorenz might boil a boss’s bunny rabbit. 

7.) Gavin Newsom — Technically, the Governor of California is not female. However, he might not know this. He primps and preens to look pretty for the cameras. He believes there are 156 genders. He is rich, pretty, and uber-liberal. He has national ambitions.He is related to Nancy Pelosi, which means access to money and power. Given his lack of principles, he would be happy to declare himself any gender that would poll well. 

6.) Shalanda Young — The Biden Administration’s Office of Management and Budget Director is supposed to be a number-cruncher. While she is not supposed to make the numbers dance, she was hired to parrot the president’s figures. She is camera-friendly, and most people would not blame her for the sins of her boss. She has job security given that most people have no idea what the OMB actually does. 

5.) Alina Abaeva — Vladimir Putin’s girlfriend clearly supports Mother Russia and Daddy Vlady. Even after sanctions were placed on her, she still managed to live high on the hog…or the Russian Bear. Given that her boyfriend will kill people at will for sport, most people tend not to mess with her.


4.) Kathy Hochul — The Governor of New York rules with an iron fist despite nobody voting for her. She was the Lieutenant Governor who stumbled into the top job when Andrew Cuomo resigned after playing grab-@ss. Despite helping destroy her own state, she is expected to coast to reelection. People who would vote against her have moved to Florida. 

3.) Stephanie Ruhle — This MSNBC host is a raving lunatic, but she manages to pull off the scary hot look while yelling at people. There is a video of her inadvertantly imitating the famous Sharon Stone scene in “Basic Instinct.” Unlike Stone, Ruhle was wearing underwear. Was her flashing the audience accidental or a play for ratings? That was one story that would actually make MSNBC watchable. 

2.) Tulsi Gabbard — The former Hawaii Congresswoman and Democrat presidential contender has been everywhere on Fox News programs. She has become a darling of conservative hosts for being willing to attack her own party. Conservatives should not be fooled. Gabbard is very smart and polished, but beneath her calm veneer is a radical leftist. She hides it better. 

1.) Kirsten Sinema — This Arizona Senator has her fellow Democrats spitting blood. The newest poll-tested Democrat slogan is that everything Democrats disagree with is a threat to democracy. Voting Democrat is necessary to “save Democracy.” Sinema responded by voting down the key parts of the Biden agenda. Given how awful those bills were, she may have saved democracy. She also repeatedly ignores any semblance of a business dress code, opting for miniskirts hiked sky high up her thighs. The male senators have not complained. 


10.) Shereen Bhan — This Indian journalist is the Managing Editor of CNBC-TV18. Her specialty is business journalism, but she has kept political and business leaders of India on their toes. She tweeted at Indian Prime Minister Modi over the issue of lockdowns. 

9.) Susanna Reid — This British journalist co-hosted “Good Morning Britain” with Piers Morgan. For her 50th birthday, she was encouraged by Morgan to pose naked. She declined, wishing not to embarrass her children. 

8.) Gigi Stone — This NBC and MSNBC contributing reporter focuses mainly on business. She also coaches people in communications. First rule of communications: Be hot. Television is a visual medium. 

7.) Zain Asher — This British Nigerian news anchor works for CNN International. She is Oxford educated. She has covered some major international stories including the murder of Nigerian girls by Boko Haram. 

6.) Melissa Theuriau — This French journalist works for M6, the most profitable TV news entity in France. As beautiful as she is, her stories often get overlooked due to a global apathy toward the irrelevant nation of France. President Emanuel Macron suffering severe legislative election losses may cause a ripple if she reports on it. If she covered any other nation, she would be an even bigger superstar. 

5.) Anna Kasterova — She is a wealthy Russian journalist. One way to wealthy..and alive…in Russia is to not rock the boat. She is as sympathetic to Vladimir Putin regime and Mother Russia as American journalists are to their American leftist leaders. She is married to an NHL hockey player. 

4. Susan Li — She was born in China and raised in Toronto, Canada. Now she is a Fox Business correspondent. She has interviewed top political and business leaders in Canada and the United States. 

3.) Julie Banderas — This Colombian Fox News host who covers serious stories with humor. As a frequent “Gutfeld!” panelist, she covers non-serious topics with equal humor. She frequently jokes about coping with motherhood by being a daytime drunk. Banderas is a stage name. Her real name is Julie Bidwell. 

2.) Robin Meade — This lead morning news anchor for Headline News was once Miss Ohio. In 2021 she even released a country music album. She is an example of drop-dead gorgeous and multi-talented women who deserve to be taken seriously. 

1.) Abby Huntsman — The daughter of former Utah Governor Jon Huntsman does not fit neatly into any political box. She bounced around several networks, from Fox News to MSNBC. She is no longer an active member of The Church of jesus christ of Latter-day Saints. She came out in favor of gay marriage long before may others did. Yet despite working with some of the ugliest women in politics on “The View,” she has managed to stay sane, reasonable, and blindingly beautiful.    


10.) Rebecca Kleefisch — The former Wisconsin Lieutenant Governor lost her job in the 2018 election when she and Governor Scott Walker were swept out. Due to the utter failure of the current Democrat Governor, Kleefisch is making a comeback. This time she is aiming for the top job in Wisconsin. She has an uphill climb, but if she wins she could rocket to the top spot on this list in 2023. She is as conservative as she is stunning. 

9.) Amy Coney Barrett — This United States Supreme Court justice is everything her supporters could have hoped for. She is superwoman. A mother to seven children including a racially diverse mixture of adopted children, she went through her entire SCOTUS hearing without needing to take notes. She has sided with the conservative bloc on almost every issue, but the biggest decisions regarding abortion and guns are a few days away. 

8.) Dagen McDowell — This Fox Business correspondent oozes Southern charm. A tough, sultry woman who plays the Georgia redneck role to perfection, McDowell is whip smart. Her expertise is financial markets, but she also offers biting political commentary. Her sense of humor is terrific. She said that Joe Biden thinks Elon Musk is a type of male perfume. 

7.) Sarah Palin/Sarah Huckabee Sanders — This pair of Sarahs are both making a political comeback. The former Alaska Governor leads the runoff to become the state’s only congressperson. Don Young held the seat for about 50 years before his recent death. Sanders was Donald Trump’s first White House press secretary. Now she is the heavy favorite to become the next Arkansas Governor. Her father previously held that job when Bill Clinton’s successor Jim Guy Tucker resigned due to the whitewater scandal. Both of these women held political office and battled critics while raising several children. 

6. Yesli Vega — This tough Latina is a law enforcement officer who is running on a security platform to replace Virginia Congresswoman Abigail Spamberger. Vega has a very good shot of winning this swing district only one year after electing a black lieutenant governor and a Cuban attorney general. She is the new Virginia. One year after playing a vital role in organizing Latinos for Governor Glenn Youngkin, she is seeking to join him in public office. 

5.) Katie Britt — This Southern bombshell was on the road to being an afterthought when Donald Trump’s endorsement provided rocket fuel to her campaign. She trounced Congressman Mo Brooks in the runoff and is the heavy favorite to replace retiring Alabama Senator Richard Shelby. She is the former President and CEO of the Business Council of Alabama. 

4.) Ashley Ramos — This gorgeous Illinois congressional candidate has an uphill climb in a district that favors Democrat. Yet win or lose, she is the new face of the GOP. This Latina knows how to market herself. She showed up at CPAC wearing a white dress with red writing that mocked AOC’s political stunt at the Met Gala. Ramos is a conservative with a legitimate shot to win her primary in several days. If she wins the general election, she will rocket up this list in 2023. 

3.) Judge Kathryn Mizelle — She was appointed by President Trump to be a federal judge at the ripe young age of 33. She was his youngest judicial appointment, and she quickly became a conservative hero. She struck down the Biden Administration’s federal mask mandate. Although the administration has made rumblings about appealing her decision, the midterm elections have made that decision untenable. Judge Mizelle restored sanity to a country reeling from the hated mask mandate. 

2.) Winsome Sears — The Lieutenant Governor of Virginia is a rock star. She is a proud black woman who served her country in the United States Marines. In her citizen life, she ran a homeless shelter. She has broken plenty of barriers in Virginia politics, which would make her a media darling if she were a Democrat. She has to settle for being loved by Republican voters nationwide. The Governor of Virginia is limited to one term, making her the logical successor ro Governor Glenn Youngkin in 2025. 

1.) Mayra Flores — This Texas border Latina shocked the political establishment. She won a special election for an open congressional seat held by Democrats for about 150 years. She is married to a Border Security guard and ran on a law and order platform. She is part of a new wave of Latinas abandoning the Democrats in droves due to their lack of ability to provide border safety and security. Her district is 85% Hispanic. She needs to immediately run for reelection in November, but she has already smashed what little hold that Democrats had on Hispanic Texans. For that alone, she is the most beautiful political conservative of 2022. 

Kender MacGowan: America’s Garden Gnome

Friday, June 17th, 2022
Dear God almighty. Kender MacGowan is gone.
He was my friend and one of the best warriors I have ever known. He was 53 years old but had been in bad health since the day he was born. He fought his whole life.
He loved his family, horses, and Renaissance festivals. On May 1st, he went to a Renaissance festival. Later that day he went into the hospital and did not make it out. He knew. On his last day of living before entering the hospital, he did what he loved most.
He had a terrific sense of humor, a ZZ-Top beard, and a proud self-declared reputation as “America’s Garden Gnome.”
His commitment to political combat stemmed from his desire to forego everything he had for his “sacred honor.” To say he was proud to be American would be an understatement.
Although his real name was Michael Groomes, many of us knew him as Kender Macgowan. Now Mark Zuckerberg can finally stop banning him. He will no longer be commenting on Facebook or anywhere else.
Now Kender is with God. I know he is in heaven, but he will probably still be raising a little hell.
Goodbye, Kender. You’ll never be forgotten. Ever.

DJIA crashes below 30,000

Thursday, June 16th, 2022

DJIA crashes below 30,000

I have been posting a lot about stocks lately because I know some of you are worried. I hope these posts help. 
Quick stock market wrapup thoughts:
Although the Dow finally fell below 30,000 and hit a new low for the year, it is NOT in a bear market yet. A bear market is not a feeling. It is an actual specific term that refers to a 20% drop from the high. The NASDAQ is down over 33% and the S&P 500 is down over 22%. However, the Dow is still down less than 20% from its all time high of 36,952. That was January 5, 2022. Only 5 months ago.
A 20% drop would be 29,562. The Dow bottomed out today at 29,740. It stubbornly refused to go lower. Now if it falls below 29,562, all heck could break loose.
However, during the pandemic of 2020, the Dow dropped 40%. So there could be plenty of pain ahead.
On the other hand, if the Dow can get back above 31,000, it would be a positive sign. It really needs to get back above 33,300 for me to feel better. That is 10% from the high.
We are not in a recession yet. A recession is not a feeling. It is also a specific term referring to 2 consecutive quarters of negative economic growth. We had negative growth last quarter. If this quarter that ends June 30th turns out to be negative, then in July we will officially be in a recession. However, that might not happen.
I want all my friends to lead a better life, and that starts with healthier finances. For those of you who can ride out miserable economic times, you will be much better off in a few years.

Stock market summary in various forms of English

Monday, June 13th, 2022
Stock Market summary in various forms of English:
Great Britain: “Beastly day, what?”
USA: “Things are f*cked.”
Me: “Liz Warren in spandex levels of ugly.”
France: “Vive la surrender!”
Ukraine: “At least your stock market wasn’t bombed today. Thanks for forgetting about us.”
China: “Fentanyl is down 10%. We must fix the supply chain so we can ship it faster.”
Iran: “Death to America! Now we can’t even afford to buy the materials for our nuclear bombs!”

Stock Market 2022 Capitulation Day

Monday, June 13th, 2022
There is something in the stock market known as “capitulation day.”
Capitulation day is the day when stocks are down so much that everyday investors give up. They say, “This is not for me, I’m done.” Then they sell everything.
Unless you need the money right away, do NOT sell everything on capitulation day. Capitulation day is when the the big investors get back in and start buying. They make their money based on your panicking.
I have no idea if today is capitulation day. I suspect it is not. However, with stocks, everything is based on your “time horizon.”
If you have 10-15 years left to invest, then stay in the market and ride it out. I did some buying today. It could go lower, but passing up good companies that are 50% off in the hopes they are 60 or 70% off is not what I’m about.
Again, if you are nearing the end of your working life, that is one thing. If you have over a decade of working life left, do not panic.
I’ve been doing this since 1994. The U.S. stock market always bounces back in the long run. This is because America always bounces back in the long run.
I believe in the U.S. stock market because I believe in the USA. I believe in American ingenuity, American corporate creativity, and American exceptionalism. Every time we have faced tough times, we have bounced back.
Are these tough times? Sure. However, this is not Pearl Harbor or 9/11. It’s not even the 2008 financial crash. Not yet anyway.
I am a rah-rah cheerleader for America, but not just because of a sense of duty and patriotism. I believe in America because the evidence tells me that betting against America and Americans is a fool’s errand.
Do what is best for your personal life, health, wealth and those you love. Do not have rose-colored glasses. There could be plenty of short-term pain ahead.
In the long run, I still believe U.S. equities are the best place to put your money.
1) Buy good companies.
2) Roll over the dividends.
3) Don’t sell.
4) Don’t die.
Also remember the words that are on my bedroom wall.
(Not the stuff about getting paddled by Mistress Evil. The other words.)
Investing (like life) requires character, guts, and the knowledge that at the heights of ebullience and the depths of despair, this too shall pass.
If you have a reasonable time horizon and you own good companies, do not let panic drive you out of the stock market.
Keep your cash ready. When everyone else is ready to give up, be bold and brave.
Capitulation day will come. When it does, be buying, not selling.
Like every trader/investor, I get plenty of things wrong. Yet in the long run, I turn out to be right. That is my story because it is the story of the stock market. It is also the story of the USA. We get some things wrong, but in the long run on the big things, we get it right.
Stay calm.


Friday, March 11th, 2022
15 years ago today on March 11, 2007, the TYGRRRR EXPRESS was born. I chose March 11 because it was the 3 year anniversary of the Madrid bombing and the midpoint of 9/11.
I never thought people would care what I had to say. Yet somehow a tiny blog turned into 6 books, over 200 t-shirt designs, and a national professional speaking career that has taken me to all 50 states.
On March 11, 2022, I thank almighty God and anyone who has ever supported the TYGRRRR EXPRESS.
God bless you all.

1/21/22 stock market musings

Friday, January 21st, 2022
For those of you watching the stock market go blood red, a little perspective is necessary.
A correction is defined as a 10% drop from the high.
A bear market is defined as a 20% drop from the high.
The DOW (DJIA) peaked intraday at 36,952. Let’s say 37,000 for simplicity sake. That was on January 5, 2022. The all time high was only 2 weeks ago. A 10% drop would take it down 3,700 points to 33,300. Since January 5, we have fallen to an intraday low today of 34,230. The DOW would have to drop another 1,000 points to enter correction territory. So while the DOW has shed a lot of points in the last few days, it is still less than 10% off its all time high.
The NASDAQ is another matter entirely. The NASDAQ is very tech heavy, and tech stocks tend to be more volatile than the blue chip stocks in the DOW. The NASDAQ hit an intraday high of 16,212 on November 22. That was 2 months ago, a longer period of time. Let’s say 16,200 again for simplicity. The NASDAQ closed today at 13,769 at the low of the day. The NASDAQ is 15% off of the all-time high.
In the 2000 crash that led to the bear market, the NASDAQ started collapsing in March of 2000. The DOW did not fall apart until November of 2000. Again, tech stocks are more volatile. Bear markets normally last 12 to 18 months. This was a nasty bear market that lasted 3 years. On the flip side, the March 2020 bear market was the opposite extreme. Stocks dropped 40%, but one month later were back to normal.
Other things to think about: In a bull market, stocks do not go straight up. They go up in a jagged edge. Yet in a bear market, stocks can go straight down. The reason for this is that financial markets are motivated by 2 things: 1) Fear 2) Greed.
Fear is ALWAYS more powerful than greed. When things are going up, the big boys say “enough of this” and knock it down in the short run. Yet when things are dropping like a rock, the big boys are sitting in the same scared fetal position as everyone else, just with more money. Buying at the low seems smart, but when it comes to real money the big boys are like “I’m not touching this.” The expression is “Never try to catch a falling knife.”
There are always opportunities to get in and out of the stock market. Those who try to time the market often get clocked. Those who are patient frequently end up ok provided they invested in solid companies rather than speculative gambles.
Things are still too high for me to consider buying. I’d like to see a larger drop before doing any more buying. Yet I do not feel comfortable selling either. I could take profits, but I am in this for the long term. If something of mine drops tremendously, I’ll add to my positions.
For now I am in a holding pattern. In life, I am one of the least patient people you will ever meet. With my investing, I am incredibly patient. It is the only thing I am patient about.
I can afford to be patient because of my “time horizon.” As long as someone has at least 10-15 more years until retirement, they can afford to be patient. At 50, to quote the Rolling Stones, “Time is on my side.”
People over 70 should consider taking some profits off the table. People under 30 should just shut up and let it ride, again provided they are in sensible stocks to begin with.
There is no better long-term investment than the United States stock market. That has been proven for over a century. Rule 1 as a stock trader is to obey the pattern. Do what the stock tells you to do. Don’t argue with the market. Until the pattern changes, stick with the pattern. The trend is your friend. There is zero evidence that any other nation is in position to supplant the United States as the dominant global power any time soon.
America works. The stock market works. The optimists know that brighter days are ahead because we Americans will make it so. The pessimists grudgingly concede that we have the worst situation except for every other nation in worse shape. So even when things are awful we are the best by default.
Do not panic sell or panic buy. There will always be another opportunity. Now to hold my positions, check my portfolio thoroughly, and most likely make zero changes for now. When the evidence and data changes, I will change as well.
My overall philosophy remains the same:
1) Buy good companies
2) Roll over the dividends (unless you need the income)
3) Don’t sell (unless absolutely necessary)
4) Don’t die (don’t take crazy risks like bungee jumping)

My birthday: 50 happy memories upon turning 50

Sunday, January 9th, 2022

My Birthday: Grateful for 50 Happy Memories upon turning 50

2022: We…can…do…this.

Saturday, January 1st, 2022

2022: We…can…do…this

What the heck is that beeping sound?

(Knocks the phone off the hook, keeps banging the snooze alarm)

A voice tells me it’s my pager. My pager is black, so finding it in the dark is the needle in the haystack equivalent. A lucky smack knocks it against the wall, where it may or may not have shattered. The beeping continues. Why does anyone need a pager anymore anyway?

Who the heck is texting me at this ungodly hour of…(either 7 a.m., 1 p.m., or 1 a.m. …it looks blurry)?

Oh, no. It is 5 a.m., and my first radio interview of the New Year is with the morning man of an East Coast station. Time to pretend to sound coherent and go back to sleep. Oh no, wait, that radio interview was several years ago.

Great, happy wishes for the new year. Thanks. Whoever you are, it is too early to talk to you.

One year the person on the telephone insisted it was 1 p.m. After explaining to them that they were on the East Coast, and that 1 p.m. EST is 10 a.m. in Los Angeles, they grew impatient. They knew how to tell time, and that it was 4 p.m. EST, hence 1 p.m. my time.

Sure, getting up and writing my column is an option. It’s a new year, and starting the year off with a flurry of brilliance might be helpful. Forget it. This column is recycled from years ago. It’s also hours late. That is what happens when people sleep in because of New Year’s Eve revelry.

The first person to talk politics gets blistered in my column … tomorrow.

Bowl games? There is DVR. Besides, does anybody care who wins the Poulan Weed Eater Bowl, the Lack of Bowl, the Fishbowl, the RU486 Morning After Bowl, The California Metrosexual Pride Bowl, or any other game that may or may not be made up?

Speaking of the morning after, does anybody remember the David Byrne Talking Heads song from the movie “Less than Zero?  The song is called “Once In A Lifetime.”

“This is not my beautiful house. This is not my beautiful wife. What have I done? How did I get here?”

It then occurs to me that the beeping sounds are the voices in my head telling me I am too old, even at 49, to stay out this late. Even without alcohol, exhaustion has set in.

Get out of bed? Work calls in (whenever) hours. Better rest up before my tyrant of a boss complains. Such is the life of the self-employed.

Get up now? Somehow stagger to the shower, get dressed, make it out of my condo to go … where?

The stores are closed. Maybe they are open. Too tired to find out.

My birthday is in just over a week. Time to pace myself.

Work on my website? All that takes is staggering to my couch. Oh, no. My IT guy has not finished it yet. Oh, wait, he did years ago. I clicked on the wrong site.

Go on Jdate and search for women? Not a bad idea, except it is too tiring to check their Adams Apples. This is not the year for a boyfriend, and am not sure that my eyes can tell the difference right now. Besides, Jdate is so 2014. Now it is Tinder, JSwipe and JCrush. No, wait. Those are so 2019.

Shop on eBay? No. bad idea. Buying stuff when not at full capacity is problematic. Who needs another mountain goat? Dang creature gets his horns in my hide. Not a comfy way to wake up. Calm down boy, you’ll get some straw to graze on upon my waking up.

Work on my record album? Although again, world, just because my hair is long, that does not mean my band exists. The best instrument is the triangle, because that tells me lunch is ready. I could work on growing my hair even longer, although I didn’t do much to start. I sat. It grew.

Ahh, yes, lunch. Get up and eat something. My microwave is slow, and a five minute microwave dinner takes almost 15 minutes. Read the paper? It is cold outside my building where the stand is, and it only takes coins. Reading the paper online is tiring, and my printer is not working. At least the lifestyle section makes a great placemat for eating. Oh, wait. That stand does not exist anymore. Reading the paper online it is.

Staying in bed for only a couple more hours until (whatever the big and little hands say) would allow me to stay up all night and be totally exhausted for work tomorrow. Again, my boss is a tyrant.

Running errands … not gonna happen.

Every morning, a four word prayer starts my day. My elbows are used to try and leverage them against my bed to prop me up. Placing my alarm clock on the other side of the room failed, since ripping the cord out of the wall solved that problem.

As for the Jewish brunette who stole the covers, her voice was not a problem last night, although if she opens her trap today she will receive a more caustic reception than usual.

Oh wait, she already left. Here is a note. “Tried to wake you, but that was a losing battle. By the way, you have nothing but soda in your fridge. Talk to you soon.” oh, wait, I think that happened over a decade ago. This is 2022, not 2005.

She is a liar. There are potato chips in my fridge as well. Why they are there remains a mystery, but it saves having to remember which cabinet they are in. One-stop shopping  is the way to go.

Besides, combing my hair for her was enough. Not doing it this morning, proud “retrosexual” that is me.

At least having the decency to say some morning prayers would be appropriate.

“Hey God…those people I pray for every night…yeah those people, the same ones…look after them again.”

Back to sleep, despite every attempt to wake up. The home phone is turned off, the cell is off as well, and the pager is still shattered, in addition to being disconnected years ago.

There may have been a car crash outside my building followed by 911 calls and sirens, but telling everybody to “keep it down,” solved that problem. A brief nightmare of me being late for work was averted when I realized my location to me was known if necessary.

Four televisions in the living room, and none in the bedroom. Who thought that up? Oh yeah, a television in the bedroom would promote laziness. Besides, trying to figure out which remote to use would cause me to break them all as if they were my pager.

Ok, here it is. Come on, elbows, do your stuff. Rise, young lad, rise! Awaken thy exhausted tired eyes!

Why is God shouting? Oh wait, that is my over-dramatization of God.

Time to set the alarm now to avoid missing work tomorrow. Where was it thrown? Threw it? Oh, screw it.

Ok, time for my four word prayer. It has gotten me this incredibly terribly far. Time to contemplate getting out of bed.


Happy 2022 all. Except for the person who woke me up earlier. Whoever you are, I still can’t stand you, even though you are doing me a favor.

Ten hours and 16 bowl games later, there is only one thing left to do.

Time for a nap. Good riddance to Pandemic 2021. Happy 2022.



NYE 2021 With Lil Jon & Brian Schatz

Friday, December 31st, 2021

Celebrate New Year’s Eve with Lil Jon and Senator Brian Schatz, Hawaii