NFL 2023 Week 18 Prequel

January 2nd, 2024

THIS. IS. WHEN. THE. BIG. DOGS. COME. OUT.

NFL 2023 Week 18 Prequel

Saturday, January 6, 2023, 4:30pm

Pittsburgh Steelers (-4) at Baltimore Ravens — The Ravens have locked up home field throughout the playoffs and will be resting their starters. The Steelers will be fighting for survival, needing to win and get help to make the playoffs. Yet even against backups, the spread is too high for a road team struggling. Steelers win but fail to cover

8pm

Houston Texans at Indianapolis Colts (-1) — The winner of this battle of 8-7 teams is in the playoffs and the loser is out. CJ Stroud will be starting for the Texans, but Jonathan Taylor has been running well for the Colts. This is one where the home field should be the decider. Colts cover

Sunday, January 7, 1pm

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (-5 1/2) at Carolina Panthers — If the 8-8 Buccaneers win, they win the NFC South. If they lose, they are out of the playoffs. The Panthers are the worst team in football, but they have not been getting blown out. They compete hard. The spread is too high for an inconsistent road team against a team with a defense that fights hard. Buccaneers win but fail to cover 

Cleveland Browns at Cincinnati Bengals (-5) — This was supposed to be a brawl, but instead it’s a meaningless game. The Browns are locked into the five seed and will rest some starters. The Bengals after consecutive trips to the AFC Title Game are out of the playoffs altogether. Jake Browning is not Joe Burrow, but he has played well in stretches. Go with the home crowd and starters against backups. Bengals cover

Minnesota Vikings at Detroit Lions (-4) — The Lions are enraged after having a win at Dallas stolen from them by miserable officiating. The Vikings are technically alive for the playoffs at 7-9 but need a ton of help. The Vikings looked lifeless last week at home against Green Bay. The Lions can still with some help move up from the three seed to the two seed. God with the angry team at home. Lions cover

New York Jets at New England Patriots (-2) — Both teams are out of the playoffs. This could be Bill Belichick’s final game in New England after 24 years, so expect the Patriots to rally around their embattled leader. Both teams have good defenses and bad quarterback play. Go with the emotional home crowd to send the Evil Hoodie out on top of the team he hates the most. Patriots cover

Atlanta Falcons at New Orleans Saints (-3 1/2) — Whoever wins this battle between the 7-9 Falcons and 8-8 Saints has a shot at the playoffs if other results break right. The loser us automatically eliminated from playoff contention. If Tampa Bay loses, the winner of this game wins the NFC South division and would be the four seed hosting a playoff game. The Saints can make the playoffs as a seven seed Wildcard but the Falcons cannot. The Saints went into Tampa Bay last week and humiliated them. The Saints have the better quarterback in Derek Carr, the better running back in Alvin Kamara, the better defense, and the home field. The Falcons looked pathetic in a loss at Chicago. Saints cover

Jacksonville Jaguars (-3 1/2) at Tennessee Titans — The 9-7 Jaguars snapped a four game losing streak last week. The stakes are simple. If the Jaguars win, they win the AFC South and are the four seed hosting a Wildcard playoff game. If they lose, they are out. The Titans are done for the year but their defense fights hard. The Titans are injury-riddled, especially at quarterback. The spread is too high to trust a Jaguars team spiraling downward. Jaguars win but fail to cover

4pm

Seattle Seahawks (-3) at Arizona Cardinals — For the second straight year, the 8-8 Seahawks make the playoffs if they win and Green Bay loses. The Cardinals are done for the year but have been vastly improved since Kyler Murray returned. The Cardinals shocked Philadelphia last week. The Seahawks failed to handle business last week at home against an average Pittsburgh team. The Cardinals could very well with this game, but go with the desperate team with everything to play for. Seahawks cover

Chicago Bears at Green Bay Packers (-3) — For the second straight year, the 8-8 Packers need only to win their regular season finale at home to make the playoffs. Last year they failed in spectacular fashion. Yet that loss in hindsight was to a vastly improved Detroit team. The Bears are done for the year and very uninspiring outside of quarterback Justin Fields. Jordan Love is improving. At home with everything to play for, trust the Packers to get it done. Packers cover

Kansas City Chiefs at Los Angeles Chargers (-1 1/2) — The Chiefs won the AFC West for the eighth straight year and are locked into the three seed. The Chargers are done for the year. This game will test whether the Chargers starters can beat the Chiefs backups. If not, their next step is a coed touch football game in the park. Chargers cover

Denver Broncos at Las Vegas Raiders (-2 1/2) — The 8-8 Broncos and 7-9 Raiders are both done for the year. The Raiders lost a heartbreaker at Indianapolis last week to kill their season. The Raiders won by one point at Denver in the season opener, but both teams are significantly better than they were earlier in the year. Russell Wilson is benched for good, so Jarrett Stidham will start again against the team he started for as a replacement last year. The Broncos have a good defense and the Raiders defense is vastly improved. The Raiders pound the rock now. That should be the difference despite a lack of home field advantage. Most importantly, the players desperately want interim coach Antonio Pierce to get the job permanently. The players will fight hard for him. Raiders cover

Philadelphia Eagles (-5 1/2) at New York Giants — The Eagles started 10-1 but have been reeling since. They have gone 1-4 down the stretch, with the only win against the Giants two weeks ago in Philadelphia. In that game the Eagles barely survived on the final play. The 11-5 Eagles with a win and a Dallas loss will win the NFC East and be the two seed. Otherwise they fall to the five seed. The Giants are done for the year but their defense has fought hard. Tyrod Taylor can play. Although the Eagles have everything to play for, they have not been good enough in recent weeks to trust, especially on the road. Upset special, Giants win outright

Los Angeles Rams at San Francisco 49ers (-4 1/2) — The Rams after a 3-6 start have gone 6-1 since to clinch a playoff spot. The Rams have struggled in recent years against the 49ers, but this time the 49ers will be playing backups. The 49ers have clinched home field throughout the playoffs and will probably rest dome starters. The Rams can still drop from the six seed to the seven seed, but that might not be much of an incentive for the Rams to play their starters for long if at all. In a battle of backups, go with the 49ers. 49ers cover

Dallas Cowboys (-13 1/2) at Washington Commanders — This could be Riverboat Ron Rivera’s final game in DC. Rumors have him being fired after the regular season. The Commanders are done for the year. The 11-5 Cowboys with a win will win the NFC East and the two seed. If they lose and Philadelphia wins, the Cowboys drop to the five seed and would start the playoffs on the road rather than at home. The Cowboys have everything to play for and the Commanders have nothing to play for. Yet the spread is way too high for a road team that has struggled on the road all year. The players may rally around Rivera. Their quarterback and defense are unspectacular but not horrendous either. A garbage touchdown is certainly possible. Cowboys win but fail to cover

8pm

Buffalo Bills at Miami Dolphins — The 10-6 Bills take on the 11-5 Dolphins in a critical AFC East showdown. The winner of this game wins the AFC East. The Bills are a surprising 3 point road favorite. Yes, the Bills have won 4 straight. Yes, the Dolphins got carpet bombed 56-19 at Baltimore. Yes, the Bills crushed the Dolphins 48-20 in Buffalo. The spread still seems ridiculous. The Dolphins have a ton of speed. As long as Tua Tagovailoa and Tyreek Hillare playing, the Dolphins should be favored. If the Dolphins lose, they are still the six seed Wildcard. If the Bills lose, they are most likely out altogether. The hot streak favors the Bills, Josh Allen is playing well, and Buffalo has a defense. Yet this is one where the home field mattes tremendously. In the relatively warm Miami sun rather than the Buffalo snow, go with the speed on offense. Upset special, Dolphins win outright   

FINALLY: Claudine Gay Lesbian Bi Trans Queer is out

January 2nd, 2024
FINALLY! The completely unqualified token hire Claudine Gay is stepping down.
Ivy league academia just became 1/1000th less racist, sexist, antisemitic and ideologically bigoted.
Harvard is now eagerly searching for another totally unqualified black female leftist who can pretend to be against genocide.
No word on whether Harvard is pleading with Vice President Kamala Harris to replace Gay.
Just to be clear. Claudine Gay is not being criticized because of her race or gender. She’s being criticized because she sucked.
Ms. Gay is not qualified to do anything, so she is most likely to remain in academia. Hamas University may need new professors soon. Otherwise, she can become CNN or MSNBC’s ethics consultant.
No word on whether Claudine Gay will change her name to Claudine LGBTQ.
As for the white male leftists who run Harvard’s Board of Trustees, they may pretend to be true believer socialists, but they become capitalists in a heartbeat when their own financial bottom lines are affected.
If Harvard wants to truly fix the damage, make the next President a conservative Republican. That way there is a better chance they will have done real work.
Sally Kornbluth at MIT needs to join Gay and UPenn’s Liz Magill on the unemployment line.
Lastly, Claudine Gay is a tiny part of the problem. DEI must DIE.
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NFL 2023 Black Monday Coach Firings Predictions

January 2nd, 2024

NFL 2023 Black Monday Coach Firings Predictions

Happy New Year. You’re history. Happy Hanukkah. Clean out your desk. Merry Christmas. You’re fired. The NFL coaching carousel is about to spin like a dreidel. The NFL is a cold place in losing environments. The annual ritual of firing coaches on Black Monday is a long-established NFL tradition. As retired coach Jerry Glanville used to say, the NFL stands for “Not For Long.”

Thankfully, Black Monday now comes past the holiday season, allowing coaches to enjoy time with their families. The pink-slips come afterward.

This season’s NFL 2023 Black Monday Coach Firing Carousel

The 2023 regular season coaching carousel saw three coaches fired during the season. The Carolina Panthers fired Frank Reich midway through his first season with the team 1-10. Chris Tabor is the interim coach. The Los Angeles Chargers fired Brandon Staley after less than three years. He was dismissed with the team 5-10. Giff Smith is the interim coach. The Chargers also fired General Manager Tom Telesco. The Raiders fired Coach Josh McDaniels and General Manager Dave Ziegler at the midpoint of their second season with the team 3-5. Antonio Pierce is the interim coach. 

More changes will come Black Monday. 

A time to fire: Rules of the Black Monday coach firing ritual

Owners can fire any employee they want whenever they want, but that does not mean they should. There are certain unwritten rules that owners should consider before firing (or not) NFL coaches on Black Monday.

  • Never fire a coach after a winning season. No matter how badly the team underachieves, some teams would kill to go 9-8.
  • Do not fire a coach unless it is absolutely definite that a better replacement option exists.
  • Do not fire a coach after one season unless there is zero hope for improvement. Bill Parcells won only three games in his first season as an NFL head coach. Jimmy Johnson won one game. Tom Landry won zero games and tied one.
  • Do not fire a coach after two losing seasons if they had four or five winning seasons prior. Allow two or even three bad seasons if the coach has the ability to turn things around.
  • If a coach has won a Super Bowl for you, leave him alone for a few years.
  • If he has won two Super Bowls for you in non-consecutive years, give him a lifetime contract.
  • Lastly, if it is a close call, give the coach one more year.

With that, here are the NFL 2023 Black Monday Coach Firing predictions.

Black Monday firings that are necessary:

Los Angeles Chargers: 

What should happen:

Giff Smith is just a placeholder. The Chargers have a stud quarterback in Justin Herbert. Ownership is notoriously cheap, but the team needs a quarterback whisperer who will unleash Herbert and build around him. 

What will happen:

Smith is gone through no fault of his own. 

Carolina Panthers: 

What should happen: Chris Tabor is also just a placeholder. The Panthers need to develop rookie quarterback Bryce Young. This team also needs a quarterback whisperer, but they have an often side guru already in the building who too many teams need to stop overlooking. Jim Caldwell deserves the job.

What will happen: Tabor is gone, also through no fault of his own. The question is if owner David Tepper will be bright enough to hire Caldwell. 

Tampa Bay Buccaneers:

What should happen:

Todd Bowles is a very good defensive coordinator. He is not a good head coach. He had a losing record in four years with the Jets. He took a playoff team under Bruce Arians and saw the offense regress badly even with Tom Brady. It took a couple of Brady miracles to will this team to an 8-9 record, the worst in Brady’s 23 seasons. Brady remarkably had not regressed. The problem is Bowles does not know offense. Now in 2023, he has an 8-8 team that could again win the horrendous NFC South. Also, firing him would be a powder keg given the NFL’s struggle to hire minority coaches. If Bowles makes the playoffs, he is safe. If he loses to 2-14 Carolina and missed the playoffs, his seat should be white hot. Bowles is an admirable man. He has refused to make his race an issue. The problem is that he was selected for the job by Arians because of his race. Arians was determined to hire a minority head coach. The goal is admirable but Bowles is not the best minority candidate. 

What will happen:

Bowles stays if the Buccaneers should eke into the playoffs. This will earn Bowles one more year. He may be gone next year unless he can finally make a deep playoff run with a talented roster. If the Buccaneers miss the playoffs, Bowles should and could be gone. 

New Orleans Saints:

What should happen:

Dennis Allen is a terrific defensive coordinator who is not a head coach. He had a terrible record coaching the Raiders, although to be fair that roster was being deconstructed and reconstructed. Yet Jack Del Rio came in the next year and turned things around. Allen brought in Derek Carr and was supposed to win the NFC South easily. Instead the Saints are on the brink of playoff elimination at 8-8. If the Saints make the playoffs, that could save Allen. Right now they are on the outside looking in.

What will happen:

Allen was given a reprieve last year due to plenty of injuries. This year Allen is out of excuses. He is good guy and a great defensive coordinator. He is not a head coach. There are too many attractive options available for the Saints to settle. Allen is fired, but should be given the option to stay on as defensive coordinator. 

Deserve to stay but will be fired: 

New England Patriots: Bill Belichick

After 24 years and 6 Super Bowls, The Evil Hoodie might be fired by Robert Kraft. Yes, the Patriots are bad, but the idea that the Patriots dynasty was all Tom Brady is contradicted by important evidence. Belichick won two Super Bowls as the defensive coordinator of the Giants before Brady ever stepped on an NFL field. Belichick devised the defensive game plan for two of the greatest upsets in Super bowl history, the 1990 Giants defeating the Bills and the 2001 Patriots defeating the Rams were because his defenses stopped previously unstoppable offenses. In the 2008 season when Brady was out injured, Belichick took a team led by Matt Cassel to an 11-5 record. This Patriots team has a good defense and terrible quarterback play. Maybe Belichick should bring back Josh McDaniels as offensive coordinator. Belichick deserves a lifetime contract and the right to retire on his own terms. If Belichick really wants to torture Kraft, he could take a year off and then finally become the coach of the Jets. That would turn the NFL on its head and make the Bill Parcells feud with Kraft seem like child’s play. Kraft may have had enough of Belichick’s ego, but Belichick deserves the chance to try and turn things around. Kraft will likely try to create as amicable a parting as possible, a move he will regret. Belichick is going. It will be a mistake. 

Washington Commanders: Ron Rivera

This should not be a close call at all. Rivera is a very good coach and a fine leader of men. He is well respected in the community. He represents everything that is right about football. He even led the team last year while battling cancer. He does have to figure out the quarterback situation. Owner Dan Snyder finally sold the team, and a new owner might want a new coach. Rivera is the only thing respectable about management in DC. If he gets thrown under the bus, he will have other teams immediately trying to snap him up. He deserves on more year but will not get it.  

Deserve to be fired but will stay:

Chicago Bears: Matt Eberflus

A few weeks ago Eburflus was uber-flustered and a dead coach walking. After starting 0-4 and 3-8, the Bears have gone 4-1 down the stretch to get to a respectable 7-9. During that span the Bears beat a very good Detroit team and whipped Atlanta by 20 points. If the Bears go into Green Bay and knock the Packers out of the playoffs, Eberlfus is safe. If they lose without getting blown out, he may still get one more year. The Bears have the top pick in the 2024 NFL Draft. No evidence exists that Eberflus can coach, but the strong finish should give him breathing room until next year. 

Deserve to stay and will stay:

Las Vegas Raiders: Antonio Pierce:

What should happen:

Josh McDaniels was an unmitigated disaster. Antonio Pierce has changed the culture of the Raiders. The defense was a mess. Now with Patrick Graham as defensive coordinator, th defense is vastly improved. The secondary is even improved. McDaniels refused to run the ball in obvious running situations, such as in the fourth quarter with a lead. He preferred finesse to smash mouth and failed. Pierce pounds the rock. The Raiders scored a franchise record 63 points in one game. They lost a heart-breaker 3-0 but went into Kansas City and belted them 20-14. Pierce absolutely deserves to have the interim tag removed and become the permanent head coach. 

What will happen:

Mark Davis has to know that the players and the fans love Pierce. He has to know that getting rid of Rich Bisaccia was a mistake. If Jim Harbaugh or Jon Gruden are available, Davis has to grab them. Yet barring those extreme situations, Pierce will rightly be given the full chance Bisaccia never got. Pierce stays.

Tennessee Titans: Mike Vrabel: 

What should happen: Despite consecutive losing seasons, Vrabel should not be in any serious danger. The Titans have been devastated by injuries the last couple of years. Two years ago they were the top seed in the AFC. Last year they started 7-3 before the roof caved in. As tough as this year was, he should be given the chance to turn things around. 

What will happen: Vrabel may be eyeing the New England job if it becomes available. Barring a surprising turn of events, Vrabel is going to stay. He is in a small market with a patient ownership group that allowed Jeff Fisher to stay for 16 years. 

Green Bay Packers: Matt LaFleur

What should happen: As of now LaFleur seems safe as can be, but for the second year in a row the Packers have a do-or-die game at home. Last year in shocking fashion they were knocked out of the playoff race. For the second straight year they face a supposedly inferior team. If LaFleur misses the playoffs again under the same circumstances, he may face some chatter about next year. As long as Jordan Love continues to develop, LaFleur is safe. 

What will happen: Jordan Love has not been spectacular, but he has been good enough. The Packers tend to be a patient organization. As long as Love does not regress, LaFleur is safe. 

New York Jets: Robert Saleh: 

What should happen: Can someone get this man a quarterback? He has a great defense and a horrendous quarterback. Aaron Rodgers lasted four snaps. Not four games…four snaps. Saleh deserves to be given the chance to see what he can do with a healthy Rodgers. 

What will happen: This one is anti-climactic because owner Woody Johnson has already told Saleh that he is coming back next year. Yet if the team does not make the playoffs with a healthy Rodgers under center, then Saleh deserves to be put int he category of great defensive coordinators not able to succeed at the head coaching level. Next year is Saleh’s last chance. 

Lifetime contract to silence the critics:

Pittsburgh Steelers: Mike Tomlin

Tomlin is not on any list of coaches being fired. However, in the past, he has been. That speculation needs to end permanently. In 17 years, Tomlin never had a losing season. Yet with Ben Roethlisberger retired and Kenny Pickett a rookie, the 2022 Steelers started 2-6 and 3-7. Again, Tomlin turned them around. He wins with hard-nosed running and defense. The Rooney family should let him stay as long as he wants. At this point, they probably will. They are smart, patient owners, and their loyalty has been rewarded. Tomlin is as good as they get on and off the field. He is another guy who represents the best of football. 

New England Patriots: Bill Belichick

For all the reasons listed above, firing Belichick would be one of the truly idiotic moves in all of sports. 

Seattle Seahawks: Pete Carroll

The oldest coach in the NFL runs around like he is the youngest. He is a positive upbeat cheerleader and the players respond well. He gets more out of less, as his revitalizing Geno Smith has proven. His 8-8 Seahawks may or may not make the playoffs this year, but Carroll has a great working relationship with General Manager John Schneider. He wants to stay and should be allowed to leave on his terms when he is ready to retire.

eric

NFL 2023-2024 NFC Playoff Permutations and Combinations

January 1st, 2024

NFL 2023-2024 NFC Playoff Permutations and Combinations

LOS ANGELES, January 4, 2023 — The first 17 weeks of the 2023 NFL regular season are in the history books. Week 18 is here. 

This week football jargon not used for 51 weeks is said over and over. We learn who controls their own destiny and who needs help making the playoffs. Some years it seems almost everybody has a shot at the playoffs. This year the AFC playoff picture has several possibilities. Only one playoff spot remains for three teams. Everything else is a fight for seeding among teams that have already clinched playoff berths.

This brings my assessment of the 2023-2024 NFC playoff permutations and combinations.

Only the top seed with home-field advantage throughout the playoffs gets the first-round bye.

The AFC Playoff picture is far more straightforward. 

All eight NFC Week 18 games have playoff implications. Only two of the four NFC Divisions have been clinched.

Now for the NFC Playoff picture. 

1.) San Francisco 49ers (12-4): The 49ers have clinched the NFC West. They also locked up the top seed in the NFC, home field advantage throughout the playoffs, and a first round bye. 

2.) Dallas Cowboys (11-5): The Cowboys are tied atop the NFC East and they hold the tie-breaker. They are currently the two seed. If they win next week or Philadelphia loses, the Cowboys clinch the NFC East and remain the two seed. They would host a Wildcard game. If the Cowboys lose and Philadelphia wins, the Cowboys move all the way down to the  five seed Wildcard. The Cowboys would play a road Wildcard playoff game. 

3.) Detroit Lions (11-5): The Lions have clinched the NFC North. Right now they are the three seed. They can finish no lower than the three seed. If they win next against Minnesota and Dallas and Philadelphia both lose, the Lions can move up to the two seed but no higher. The Lions will be hosting a game on Wildcard Weekend. 

4.) Tampa Bay Buccaneers (8-8): The Buccaneers are tied atop the NFC South and they hold the tie-breaker, but they have not have clinched anything. They control their own destiny. Their situation is do-or-die. If the Buccaneers win their Week 18 finale at Carolina, the Buccaneers win the NFC South and are locked into the four seed. They would host a Wildcard playoff game. If the Buccaneers lose, they are out. 

5.) Philadelphia Eagles (11-5): The Eagles are tied atop the NFC East but they do not hold the tie-breaker. They are currently the five seed Wildcard. If they lose next week or Dallas wins, the Eagles remain the five seed. They would play a road Wildcard game. If the Eagles win and Dallas loses, the Eagles clinch the NFC East. The Eagles move all the way up to the two seed. The Eagles would host a Wildcard Weekend playoff game. 

6.) Los Angeles Rams (9-7): The Rams have clinched a Wildcard and cannot finish higher than the six seed. If they lose and Green Bay wins, the Rams fall to the seven seed. They might rest their starters in the regular season finale.  

7:) Green Bay Packers (8-8): The Packers are currently the seven seed. They have not clinched anything. They can only make the playoffs as a Wildcard. Yet they control their own destiny. If they win next week, they clinch the seven seed. If the Packers win and the Rams lose, the Packers move up to the six seed. They can be no higher. Any Wildcard game they play would be on the road. If the Packers lose, they are out.

On the outside looking in:

8:) Seattle Seahawks (8-8): The Seahawks are on the outside looking in. They can only make the playoffs as a Wildcard. Their only hope is to win next week and have Green Bay lose. If that happens, the Seahawks clinch the seven seed. They can be no higher. Any Wildcard game they play would be on the road. If they lose or the Packers win, the Seahawks are out.

9.) New Orleans Saints (8-8): The Saints are on the outside looking in. They are tied for the NFC South lead but do not hold the tie-breaker. If the Saints win their finale against Atlanta and Tampa Bay loses, The Saints would win the NFC West outright. They would be the four seed and host a Wildcard playoff game. If the Saints win but Tampa also wins, the Saints would lose the division tie-breaker but could still make the playoffs if Seattle and Green Bay both lose. In that situation the saints would be the seven seed Wildcard with all their playoff games on the road. If the Saints win, Tampa wins, and either Green Bay or Seattle win, the Saints are out. If the Saints lose, they are out. 

10.)  Atlanta Falcons (7-9): The Falcons are on the outside looking in. They only have one path to the playoffs. If they win their finale against New Orleans and Tampa loses, all three teams would be 8-9. The Falcons would win the tie-breaker and win the NFC South. They would be the four seed and host a Wildcard playoff game. The Falcons cannot make the playoffs as a Wildcard. If the Falcons lose, they are out. 

11.) Minnesota Vikings (7-9): The Vikings are on the outside looking in. They have the longest odds. If they win and Green Bay, New Orleans and Seattle all lose, the Vikings get the seven seed and a road Wildcard game. Otherwise, the Vikings are out.

Here are all eight NFC games with playoff implications:

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (8-8) at Carolina Panthers (2-14)

Dallas Cowboys (11-5) at Washington Commanders (4-12)

Seattle Seahawks (8-8) at Arizona Cardinals (4-12) 

Los Angeles Rams (9-7) at San Francisco 49ers (12-4) 

Philadelphia Eagles (11-5) at New York Giants (5-11) 

Minnesota Vikings (7-9) at Detroit Lions (11-5) 

Atlanta Falcons (7-9) at New Orleans Saints (8-8)

Chicago Bears (7-9) at Green Bay Packers (8-8)

Predictions:

1.) 49ers 12-5 (The 49ers may rest their starters)

2.) Cowboys 12-5

3.) Lions 12-5

4.) Buccaneers 9-8 

5.) Eagles 11-6

6.) Rams 10-7 (assuming the 49ers rest their starters) 

7.) Packers 9-8 

Out: Saints 9-8, Seahawks 8-9, Falcons 7-10

Wildcard Round: 

7.) Packers at 2.) Cowboys

6.) Rams at 3.) Lions

5.) Eagles at 4.) Buccaneers

Divisional Round:

4.) Buccaneers at 1.) 49ers

3.) Lions at 2.) Cowboys

NFC Title Game: 2.) Cowboys at 1.) 49ers

The 49ers have the most complete team in the NFC because of their nasty defense. The Cowboys have an explosive offense but at San Francisco, the 49ers defense will be the difference. They blasted the Cowboys once and will again.

Because of that defense the 49ers will host the George Halas NFC Championship Trophy and reach the Super Bowl. Bringing home the Vince Lombardi Trophy will be very tough. The Baltimore Ravens beat them easily. A rematch would be tougher, but Baltimore would be favored to win it all. 

eric

NFL 2023-2024 AFC Playoff Permutations and Combinations

January 1st, 2024

NFL 2023-2024 AFC Playoff Permutations and Combinations

LOS ANGELES, January 2, 2024 — The first 17 weeks of the 2023 NFL regular season are in the history books. Week 18 is here. 

This week football jargon not used for 51 weeks is said over and over. We learn who controls their own destiny and who needs help making the playoffs. Some years it seems almost everybody has a shot at the playoffs. This year the AFC playoff picture has plenty of possibilities. 

That’s our assessment of the 2023-2024 AFC playoff permutations and combinations.

Only the top seed with home-field advantage throughout the playoffs gets the first-round bye.

The NFC playoff picture has several possibilities. The AFC Playoff picture thankfully is not the total mess it was last year due to reasons far bigger than football. Buffalo Bills defender Damar Hamlin had a heart attack one year ago today when the Bills played the Cincinnati Bengals. He was in a hospital fighting for his life. We all prayed for Mr. Hamlin to get better. quickly. Thankfully, he did. His first written question to doctors was “Did we win the game?” Unaware the game was canceled, the doctor smartly and beautifully replied, “You won the game of life.”vMr. Hamlin had a GoFundMe page set up to raise funds to buy toys for underprivileged children. His goal was to raise $2,500. In the 3 days after his life-threatening injury, over $7 million was raised. 

https://www.gofundme.com/f/mxksc-the-chasing-ms-foundation-community-toy-drive

This staggering show of love was also in addition to a very classy display by the home fans in Cincinnati. Bengals fans joined with Bills fans outside the hospital to pray for him.

While nothing is more important than life and death, this is a column about football. While Mr. Hamlin miraculously made it back to the football field this season, he has played very little football. So this year let us be thankful that the playoffs are normal, and only about football. With all respect to Mr. Hamlin, this is a football column. The rest of this column will be devoted to the football games themselves. 


Only four of the eight AFC Week 18 games have playoff implications. Only two of the four AFC Divisions have been clinched.

Now for the AFC Playoff picture.  

1.) Baltimore Ravens (13-3): The Ravens have clinched the AFC North. They have also locked up the top seed with home field advantage throughout the playoffs and the first round bye.

2.) Miami Dolphins: 11-5): The Dolphins lead the AFC East by one game but have not clinched their division. They have clinched a playoff spot. The Dolphins have a Week 18 division showdown with Buffalo. If the Dolphins win, they clinch the AFC East and are the two seed hosting a Wildcard game. If they lose, they fall to the six seed and would be on road during Wildcard weekend.  

3.) Kansas City Chiefs (10-6): The Chiefs clinched the AFC West for the eighth straight season and are locked into the three seed. They will host a Wildcard playoff game. 

4.) Jacksonville Jaguars (9-7): The Jaguars are in a three way tie atop the AFC South but have not clinched anything. They control their own destiny. If they beat Tennessee in the regular season finale, they win their division. They would be the four seed and host a Wildcard Weekend playoff game. If they lose to Tennessee, they lose the division. With a loss they could still make the playoffs as the seven seed Wildcard but would some help. Denver and Pittsburgh would both have to lose. If the Jaguars lose and either one of those two teams wins, the Jaguars are out.

5.) Cleveland Browns (11-5): The Browns are locked into the five seed Wildcard and will play a road playoff game on Wildcard weekend.  

6.) Buffalo Bills (10-6): The Bills are one game back in the AFC East. They have officially clinched nothing, but they are “all but in.” Right now they are the six seed and would play a road game on Wildcard weekend. They have a Week 18 AFC East showdown at Miami. If the Bills win, they are AFC East Champions and vault up to the two seed. They would host a game on Wildcard weekend. If they lose, they would fall from the six seed to the seven seed. The only way they would miss the playoffs is if they lose, Pittsburgh and Jacksonville both win, and Houston and Indianapolis play to a tie. Barring that incredibly unlikely last scenario, the Bills are in. 

7.) Indianapolis Colts (9-7): The Colts have not clinched anything but they control their own destiny. They have a do-or-die Week 18 showdown against Houston. If the Colts win, they clinch the seven seed Wildcard and play a road playoff game on Wildcard Weekend. If they win and Jacksonville loses, the Colts win the AFC South and move up to the four seed. They would host a game on Wildcard weekend. If the Colts lose, they are out.

Outside looking in: 

8.) Houston Texans (9-7): The Texans have not clinched anything but they control their own destiny. IThey have a do-or-die week 18 showdown against Indianapolis. If the Texans win, they clinch the seven seed Wildcard and play a road playoff game on Wildcard Weekend. If they win and Jacksonville loses, the Texans win the AFC South and move up to the four seed. They would host a game on Wildcard weekend. If the Texans lose, they are out.

9.) Pittsburgh Steelers (9-7): The Steelers have the longest shot. They can make the playoffs as the seven seed Wildcard if they win their regular season finale and either Buffalo or Jacksonville loses. If the Steelers win but Buffalo and Jacksonville both win, the Steelers would need the Houston-Indianapolis game to end in a tie. If Buffalo and Jacksonville both win and the Houston-Indianapolis game is not a tie, the Steelers are out. If the Steelers lose, they are out.

Here are the AFC games with playoff implications:

Pittsburgh Steelers (9-7) at Baltimore Ravens (13-3)

Houston Texans (9-7) at Indianapolis Colts (9-7) 

Jacksonville Jaguars (9-7) at Tennessee Titans (5-11)

Buffalo Bills (9-7) at Miami Dolphins (10-6)

Predictions:

1.) Ravens 13-4

2.) Dolphins 12-5

3.) Chiefs 11-6

4.) Jaguars 10-7

5.) Browns 11-6

6.) Bills 10-7

7.) Colts 10-7

Out — Pittsburgh 9-8, Houston 9-8

Wildcard Round:

7.) Colts at 2.) Dolphins

6.) Bills at 3.) Chiefs

5.) Browns at 4.) Jaguars

Divisional Round:

6.) Bills at 1.) Ravens

5.) Browns at 2.) Dolphins 

AFC Title Game: 2.) Dolphins vs 1.) Ravens

The Baltimore Ravens are a wrecking machine. They will hold the Lamar Hunt Trophy as the AFC Champion. Then they will hoist the Vince Lombardi Trophy as Super Bowl LVIII Champions.

We…can…do…this…2024

January 1st, 2024

2024…We…can…do…this

What the heck is that beeping sound?

(Knocks the phone off the hook, keeps banging the snooze alarm)

A voice tells me it’s my pager. My pager is black, so finding it in the dark is the needle in the haystack equivalent. A lucky smack knocks it against the wall, where it may or may not have shattered. The beeping continues. Why does anyone need a pager anymore anyway?

Who the heck is texting me at this ungodly hour of…(either 7 a.m., 1 p.m., or 1 a.m. …it looks blurry)?

Oh, no. It is 5 a.m., and my first radio interview of the New Year is with the morning man of an East Coast station. Time to pretend to sound coherent and go back to sleep. Oh no, wait, that radio interview was several years ago.

Great, happy wishes for the new year. Thanks. Whoever you are, it is too early to talk to you.

One year the person on the telephone insisted it was 1 p.m. After explaining to them that they were on the East Coast, and that 1 p.m. EST is 10 a.m. in Los Angeles, they grew impatient. They knew how to tell time, and that it was 4 p.m. EST, hence 1 p.m. my time.

Sure, getting up and writing my column is an option. It’s a new year, and starting the year off with a flurry of brilliance might be helpful. Forget it. This column is recycled from years ago. It’s also hours late. That is what happens when people get no sleep because of stressful December football games followed by New Year’s Eve revelry.

Election 2024? The first person to talk politics gets blistered in my column … tomorrow.

Bowl games? There is DVR. Besides, does anybody care who wins the Poulan Weed Eater Bowl, the Lack of Insight.com Bowl, the Fishbowl, the RU486 Morning After Bowl, The California Metrosexual Pride Bowl, or any other game that may or may not be made up?

Speaking of the morning after, does anybody remember the David Byrne Talking Heads song from the movie “Less than Zero? (which the temperature feels like right now in some parts of the country. No wonder I live in this insane city of LA)” The song is called “Once In A Lifetime.”

“This is not my beautiful house. This is not my beautiful wife. What have I done? How did I get here?”

It then occurs to me that the beeping sounds are the voices in my head telling me I am too old, even at 51, to stay out this late. Even without alcohol, exhaustion has set in.

Get out of bed? Work calls in (whenever) hours. Better rest up before my tyrant of a boss complains. Such is the life of the self-employed.

Get up now? Somehow stagger to the shower, get dressed, make it out of my condo to go … where?

The stores are closed. Maybe they are open. Too tired to find out.

My birthday is in just over a week. Time to pace myself.

Work on my website? All that takes is staggering to my couch. Oh, no. My IT guy has not finished it yet. Oh, wait, he did years ago. I clicked on the wrong site.

Go on Jdate and search for women? Not a bad idea, except it is too tiring to check their Adams Apples. This is not the year for a boyfriend, and am not sure that my eyes can tell the difference right now. Besides, Jdate is so 2014. Now it is Tinder, JSwipe and JCrush. Oh, wait. I’m married. No more Internet dating.

Shop on eBay? No. bad idea. Buying stuff when not at full capacity is problematic. Who needs another mountain goat? Dang creature gets his horns in my hide. Not a comfy way to wake up. Calm down boy, you’ll get some straw to graze on upon my waking up.

Work on my record album? Although again, world, just because my hair is long, that does not mean my band exists. The best instrument is the triangle, because that tells me lunch is ready. Oh wait, my hair is not even that long anymore. I could work on that, although I didn’t do much. I sat. It grew.

Ahh, yes, lunch. Get up and eat something. My microwave is slow, and a five minute microwave dinner takes almost 15 minutes. Read the paper? It is cold outside my building where the stand is, and it only takes coins. Reading the paper online is tiring, and my printer is not working. At least the lifestyle section makes a great placemat for eating. Oh, wait. That stand does not exist anymore. Reading the paper online it is.

Staying in bed for only a couple more hours until (whatever the big and little hands say) would allow me to stay up all night and be totally exhausted for work tomorrow. Again, my boss is a tyrant.

Running errands … not gonna happen.

Every morning, a four word prayer starts my day. My elbows are used to try and leverage them against my bed to prop me up. Placing my alarm clock on the other side of the room failed, since ripping the cord out of the wall solved that problem.

As for the Jewish brunette who stole the covers, her voice was not a problem last night, although if she opens her trap today she will receive a more caustic reception than usual.

Oh wait, she already left. Here is a note. “Tried to wake you, but that was a losing battle. By the way, you have nothing but soda in your fridge. Talk to you soon.” oh, wait, I think that happened over a decade ago. My wife stocked the fridge. 

There are also potato chips in my fridge as well. Why they are there remains a mystery, but it saves having to remember which cabinet they are in. One-stop shopping  is the way to go.

Besides, combing my hair for her was enough. Not doing it this morning, proud “retrosexual” that is me.

At least having the decency to say some morning prayers would be appropriate.

“Hey God…those people I pray for every night…yeah those people, the same ones…look after them again.”

Back to sleep, despite every attempt to wake up. The home phone is turned off, the cell is off as well, and the pager is still shattered, in addition to being disconnected years ago.

There may have been a car crash outside my building followed by 911 calls and sirens, but telling everybody to “keep it down,” solved that problem. A brief nightmare of me being late for work was averted when I realized my location to me was known if necessary.

Four televisions in the living room, and none in the bedroom. Who thought that up? Oh yeah, a television in the bedroom would promote laziness. Besides, trying to figure out which remote to use would cause me to break them all as if they were my pager.

Ok, here it is. Come on, elbows, do your stuff. Rise, young lad, rise! Awaken thy exhausted tired eyes!

Why is God shouting? Oh wait, that is my over-dramatization of God.

Time to set the alarm now to avoid missing work tomorrow. Where was it thrown? Threw it? Oh, screw it.

Ok, time for my four word prayer. It has gotten me this incredibly terribly far. Time to contemplate getting out of bed.

“We…can…do…this.”

Happy 2024 all. Except for the person who woke me up earlier. Whoever you are, I still can’t stand you, even though you are doing me a favor.

Ten hours and 16 bowl games later, there is only one thing left to do.

Time for a nap. Happy 2024.

Zzzzz.

eric

New Years Eve 2023 with Lil Jon and Senator Schatz

December 31st, 2023

December 31, 2023:

LOS ANGELES:  New Year’s Eve is a truly magical night. On this one night, many of Earth’s seven billion inhabitants temporarily cast aside religion, politics, and even sports rivalries.

Peace on Earth briefly breaks out. We bid farewell to a tough year and in this case. We pray that the incoming new year will be better, perhaps even peaceful.

We pray for peace, love, and a better world.

After almost three years of parties being canceled, the parties in 2023 are back on like Donkey Kong!

On January 15, America will honor the late Martin Luther King Jr. We will vow to honor his legacy of peaceful non-violent civic activism. MLK is universally beloved because he believed in fighting for change peacefully.

New politicians will take office on Wednesday, January 3.

Yet the hours leading into January 1 are not about the Republican Party or the Democrat Party.

It is about house parties, club parties, rooftop parties, and the party for the sake of partying parties.

This is before getting to the after-party.

We eat and drink to excess, dance badly, and upload pictures to social media that should never be uploaded.

For one night, much of the entire civilized world is a happy, peaceful, global family united in sheer joy and revelry.

In Gotham City, 2024 commences, and peaceful behavior erodes.

All hell breaks loose with the dropping of the ball in Times Square. People kiss, sing, and then try to escape the freezing weather they have been standing in for the last ten hours.

Of all the global celebrations welcoming the end of 2023, nothing says New Year’s Eve like the convergence of a rap star and an unknown politico.

The rapper is a long-haired, gold-toothed entrepreneur and former Trump Celebrity Apprentice semi-finalist Lil Jon. Dave Chapelle lampooned him as the guy who only says “what” and “ok.”

Lil Jon brought the world one of the greatest party songs, “Shots.”

A celebration of alcohol and fun, plenty of shots will be consumed as 2023 ticks down.

While Lil Jon’s celebrity is established, the senior United States Senator from Hawaii is still barely known on the mainland.

The Senator’s name is spelled “Schatz,” although his last name is pronounced “shots.”

The U.S. Senate has long been about partying, alcohol, and law-breaking in between occasional bouts of governing.

Therefore, the upper chamber of Congress should treat Schatz as a celebrity.

Let Lil Jon do the swearing-in ceremony as the Republican Party and the Democrat Party continue to spend like drunken sailors

at a never-ending New Year’s Eve Party.

Happy New Year Schatzie! Party time!

“When I arrive on the Hill, all eyes on me.
Congressional bender, all drinks are free.
We’re drunken spenders, we’re so far gone.
It’s free money time, so come on down!
Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz Schatz,
Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz,
Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz,
Schatz, everybody!
Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz,
Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz Schatz,
Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz,
Schatz, everybody!
The ladies love us, when we give free stuff,
We spend your money, on needless fluff,
We’re drunk on power, how ‘bout you?
Bottoms up, let’s go round two!
Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz,
Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz Schatz,
Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz,
Schatz, everybody!
Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz,
Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz Schatz,
Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz,
Schatz, everybody!
If you ain’t drunk on power, get out of Congress now!
If you ain’t drunk on power, get out of the White House now!
If you ain’t drunk on power, get out of government now!
Now where are my spendaholics? Printing presses go!
Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, Schatz,
Schatz, everybody!”

Party hearty, Senator Schatz! Greece, California, and Detroit are only a few trillion wasted dollars away!

To everyone else, may 2024 be a year of peace, love, and most importantly for revelers, fun!

Also, in honor of the junior Hawaii Senator Mazie Hirono, do not hit on strangers after getting drunk. Friends don’t let friends beer-goggle. This is the Hirono rule, when a guy wakes up the next day, realizes what he has done, and yells, “Her? Oh, no!”

Let’s party! What??????

Happy 2024! Ok!!!!!!!!

eric

NFL 2023 Week 17 Recap

December 31st, 2023

NFL 2023 Week 17 Recap

New York Jets at Cleveland Browns was the Thursday night game. The 10-5 Browns looked to take down the lowly Jets. The Browns began facing 3rd and 15 at their own 20. Joe Flacco went to David Njoku for 36. Ford ran for 10. Flacco went back to Njoku for 28. Flacco went to Ford for a 7 yard touchdown to make it 7-0 Browns. After a touchback, Trevor Siemian went to Wilson for 22. Breece Hall ran for 26. On 3rd and 5 from the Cleveland 21, Siemian went to Hall for the touchdown and a 7-7 game. After a touchback, Ford ran for 16 and 11. On 3rd and 12 from midfield, Flacco went to Njoku for 43. Kareem Hunt ran for a 7 yard touchdown to make it 13-7 Browns. Riley Patterson missed the extra point. The Jets fumbled the ensuing kickoff but the Browns after recovering water the chance. On 4th and 4 from the Jets 6, Kevin Stefanski inexplicably went for it rather than take the easy field goal. Flacco threw incomplete. It didn’t matter/ Siemian was soon intercepted by Hickman, who returned the pick 30 yards for a defensive touchdown to make it 20-7 Browns. In the second quarter the Browns faced 3rd and 3 at their own 28. Flacco went to Moore for 24 and Akins for 28. On 3rd and 1 from the Jets 11, Flacco gained 3. On 3rd and goal at the 8, Flacco went to Moore for the touchdown to make it 27-7 Browns.

With 2 minutes left in the half, Flacco was intercepted by Johnson, who returned the pick 37 yards as 4th teams now had a defensive touchdown. The Jets were within 27-14, but not for long. After a touchback, Flacco went to Moore for 22 and to Ford for a 50 yard touchdown to make it 34-14 Browns with 1:25 left in the half. The Jets managed a field goal before the half but this game was not a contest. Zuerlein’s third quarter field goal try was blocked. Zuerlein hit from 44 to get the Jets within 34-20 with 9 minutes remaining in regulation. The Jets got it back with 5 1/2 minutes left but turned it over on downs in their own territory. Riley Patterson hit a 33 yard field goal with 3 minutes left to officially put the game on ice. The 11-5 Browns are marching toward the playoffs. 37-20 Browns

Detroit Lions at Dallas Cowboys was the Saturday night game. The 11-4 Lions had already clinched their division. They and the 10-5 Dallas Cowboys were now fighting over seeding as both teams had a shot at the top seed, home field advantage throughout the playoffs, and a first round bye. Both teams were unbeaten at home but quite mortal on the road. After an opening touchback, the Lions drove to a 1st and 10 at the Dallas 23. Jared Goff threw a pair of incompletions and a completion for no gain. Mike Badly hit the 41 yard field goal to make it 3-0 Lions. The Cowboys after a touchback moved to a 2nd and 4 at the Detroit 32. Dak Prescott threw incomplete and then was intercepted by Melifonwu, who returned the pick 24 yards to his own 43. The Lions moved to a 2nd and 4 at the Dallas 36. Then a run lost 4 yards and Goff was sacked to push the Lions out of field goal range. Then came a play for the ages. The Cowboys faced 3rd and 13 at their own 8 yard line. Prescott was nearly sacked in the end zone for a safety. He somehow escaped and heaved a desperation ball to a wide open CeeDee Lamb The defender fell down and Lamb coasted his way to a 92 yard touchdown and a 7-3 Cowboys lead. 

The scoreless second quarter saw both teams blow scoring opportunities. From the Dallas 38, Goff was the victim of a diving interception by Lewis. The Cowboys moved to a 1st and goal at the 5. Prescott went to Lamb for 4 but he fumbled the ball through the back of the end zone. Instead of 14-3, it was a touchback. The Lions from their own 20 moved to a 1st and goal at the 2. A run lost 3 yards, Goff threw incomplete, and another run gained only one yard. On 4th and goal at the 4, the decision to kick a field goal was obvious. Yet Dan Campbell decided to go for it. Campbell has been very aggressive on 4th down and gets a lot of things right, but this seemed to cross the line from bold to reckless. Good threw incomplete as the Lions again came away with nothing.

The Lions in the third quarter took over at their own 26. David Montgomery ran for 3, 22, 4 and 4. On 3rd and 2 from the Dallas 41, Gibbs got stopped for no gain. Campbell went for it again. On 4th and 2, Goff hit Sam LaPorta for 4 and again for 7. Gibbs ran for 9. Goff hit Reynolds for 13. Montgomery did the rest, running for 6, 2, and on 3rd and 2 from the Dallas 3, the touchdown. The 13 play, 74 yard, 7 1/2 minute drive had the Lions up 10-7. After a touchback the Cowboys moved to a 2nd and 8 at the Detroit 33. Prescott threw incomplete twice. Aubrey nailed a 51 yard field goal for a 10-10 game as the third quarter was ending. After a touchback, the Lions moved to a 3rd and 3 at the Dallas 7. Goff threw incomplete. Dan Campbell decided to go for it again but this time it was just brinksmanship. The Lions tried to get the Cowboys to jump offside, but the defense didn’t bite. Badly hit from 30 as the Lions led 13-10 with 12 minutes left in the game.

After a touchback, Prescott hit Lamb for 11 and 5. On 3rd and 5 from his own 41, Prescott went to Brandin Cooks for 21. Prescott hit Tolbert for 9. Tony Pollard ran for 10 and 6. Prescott went to Cooks for the 8 yard touchdown. Midway through the fourth quarter, the Cowboys led 17-13. The Lions appeared all but dead when Goff was intercepted in his own territory with only 2:05 to play. Yet the Lions got a break when an offensive tripping penalty pushed the Cowboys back to 1st and 25. The Lions got another break when Mike McCarthy kept passing and an incompletion stopped the clock and saved Detroit a timeout. On 3rd and 14, a completion gained only 8. The Lions took their last timeout with 1:45 left. The incompletion saved the Lions 45 seconds. Aubrey hit the 43 yard field goal and the Cowboys led 20-13, but the Lions were very much alive with a chance to win. Then came the finish that will be debated for months to come if not longer.

After a touchback with 1:41 left, Goff put on a passing clinic. He hit LaPorta for gains of 10 and 25. He hit Amra St. Brown for 14. On 3rd and 10 from the Dallas 26, Goff hit Laporta for 15. Goff went to St. Brown for the 11 yard touchdown. With 23 seconds left, the Lions were an extra point from tying the game and possibly forcing overtime. Instead, Dan Campbell was going for it all with the 2 point conversion. A brilliant play call on a tackle eligible was completed as the Lions celebrated their 21-20 lead. Yet officials through a flag and ruled that the tackle was not eligible because he failed to report. Campbell went ballistic, insisting that the player did report. The 2 points were taken off the board. This will be debated forever, but what happened next should not be. With the ball back at the 7 yard line, now the extra point to tie the game was the only sane move. Perhaps Campbell let his emotions get the better of him, but he went for 2 again. 

This time Goff threw incomplete but the Cowboys jumped offside. Now the ball was on the 3 1/2 yard line. Campbell had a 3rd chance to kick the extra point. Again, he went for it. This time Goff threw a pass in the flat that was low and dropped. Even had it been caught, the receiver would have been tackled well short of the end zone. It was a bitter defeat for the Lions, but both teams are 11-5. The Lions are still guaranteed at least one home playoff game while the Cowboys right now would be going on the road as a wildcard. Both teams still have an outside shot at home at the top seed. They could even meet in the playoffs, and in this case the game would be in Detroit. A rematch would be well worth watching. 20-19 Cowboys

Miami Dolphins at Baltimore Ravens — The 12-3 Ravens with a win would clinch the top seed, home field throughout the playoffs, and a the first round bye. The 11-4 Dolphins with a win and a win next week would rule the AFC. The Ravens went on the road and thrashed top seed san Francisco last week. After a touchback, Tua Tagovailoa went to Achane for 23, to Tyreek Hill for 12, and to Alec Ingold for 18. Achane ran for 13. On 3rd and goal at the 8, Tagovailoa went to Wilson for the touchdown to make it 7-0 Dolphins. The Ravens soon faced 3rd and 16 at their own 19. Lamar Jackson hit Justice Hill for 18. Zee Flowers for 25, Bateman for 14, and Hill again for a 20 yard touchdown to make it 7-7. The Dolphins quickly moved from their own 27 to a 3rd and 6 at the Baltimore 8. Tagovailoa threw incomplete. Jason Sanders hit a 27 yard field goal to make it 10-7 Dolphins. In the second quarter the Ravens took over at their own 11. Gud Edwards ran for 4 and 6. Jackson hit Nelson Agholor for 14. Edwards gained 6 and 12. Jackson went to O’Del Beckham Jr. for 33 down to the one. Edwards got the last yard to make it 14-10 Ravens. The Dolphins moved from their own 31 to a 4th and 5 at the Baltimore 45. Mike McDaniel went for it and Tagovailoa hit Hill for 25. Yet the Dolphins got nothing else. Sanders hit from 38 as the Dolphins were only down 14-13 with 3 minutes left in the half. Then this heavyweight fight changed.

On the first play after a touchback, Jackson went bombs away to Zee Flowers for a 75 yard touchdown to make it 21-13 Ravens. An interception of Tagovailoa gave the Ravens a short field at the Miami 38 with 1:50 left in the half. On 4th and 7, John Harbaugh decided to go for it rather than have Justin Tucker try a very makable 53 yard field goal. Jackson went to Isaiah Likely for the first down and the 35 yard touchdown as the Ravens led 28-13. The Dolphins after a touchback raced to a 4th and 1 at the Baltimore 48 With 15 seconds left. Tagovailoa went to Hill for 7 but offensive pass interference instead meant 4th and 11. The Ravens broke the game open when Justice Hill returned the second half kickoff 78 yards to the Miami 18. Jackson hit Likely for a 7 yard touchdown to make it 35-13 Ravens. 

The Dolphins managed one more touchdown early in the fourth quarter but the Ravens just carpet-bombed them. A 3rd and goal at the 4 touchdown pass from Jackson to Ricard capped a 75 yard drive and made it 42-19 Ravens. The Dolphins turned it over on downs at their own 32. Melvin Gordon ran for a 7 yard touchdown to make it 49-19 Ravens. One play after a touchback the Dolphins fumbled and the Ravens took over at the Miami 8 yard line. Jackson was done for the day and backup Tyler Huntley came in. After moving backward on 3rd and goal at the 19, Huntley went to Kolar for the touchdown. The Ravens are the best team in football. In successive weeks they dismantled their closest competition in both conferences. The dolphins need to win next week to lock up their division. If they lose, they are a wildcard. The 13-3 Ravens locked up home field throughout the playoffs and the top seed first round bye. 56-19 Ravens

New England Patriots at Buffalo Bills — The 9-6 Bills were looking to make the playoffs. Yet 12 seconds into the game the Patriots led 7-0 when Jalen Reagor returned the opening kickoff 98b yards for a touchdown. Yet when the Patriots got it back at their own 18, their first play from scrimmage saw Bailey Zappe get intercepted. The Bills took over at the New England 21 and wasted the opportunity. On 2nd and 6, Josh Allen threw incomplete. Tyler Bass hit the 35 yard field goal to get the Bills within 7-3. Zappe was intercepted again and the 10 yard return had the Bills with gift field position again Allen ran for a one yard touchdown to make it 10-7 Bills. The Patriots then fumbled the ball to give the Bills yet another short field at the New England 30. On 3rd and goal at the 6, Allen threw incomplete. Bass hit the 24 yard field goal. Despite recovering 3 first quarter turnovers, the Bills only led 13-7. That changed when Zappe threw his 3rd interception. The 4th New England turnover of the half was a killer as Douglas returned the pick 40 yards for a defensive touchdown and a 20-7 Bills lead. No word on whether Bill Belichick contemplated retirement right on the spot.

The Patriots soon faced 3rd and 6 at his own 29. Zappe hit Harris for just enough. Zappe connected with Harris again for a 48 yard gain. Zappe ran for a 17 yard touchdown as the Patriots only trailed 20-14. An interception of Allen gave the Patriots a chance to take the lead. They moved from their own 11 to a 4th and 7 at the Buffalo 29. Ryland 47 yard field goal try was no good. The third quarter began with the Bills facing 2nd and 14 at their own 21. Allen went to Gabriel Davis for 15. Allen then went deep to Kincaid for 51. On 3rd and 1 from the 4, Allen gained 2. Allen ran for the one yard touchdown to make it 27-14 Bills. The Patriots began the fourth quarter facing 3rd and 1 at their own 25. Ezekiel Elliott gained 6. Zappe went deep to Reagor for 39. Zappe hit Douglas for 17 with unnecessary roughness adding 7 more. Elliott ran for a 6 yard touchdown. With 11 minutes left in regulation the Patriots were right back in it down 6 points. With 5 minute left the Patriots punted on 4th and 2 at their own 11. With 3 1/2 minutes left on 3rd and 7 from the New England 46, Allen hit Shakir for 11. With 2:41 left on 3rd and 1 from the New England 26, Allen gained 3. At the 2 minute warning on 3rd and 3 from the New England 16, Allen gained 4. The Patriots never got the ball back. With the win, the 10-6 Bills have a showdown with Miami next week. If the Bills win, they win the AFC East. A loss could knock them out of the playoffs altogether. 27-21 Bills

Atlanta Falcons at Chicago Bears — The 7-8 Falcons actually had a chance to win their awful division but they were one game back. Early on Younghoe Koo missed a 50 yard field goal try for the Falcons. The Bears took over at their own 40 and Justin Fields hit Moore for 32. On 3rd and 9 from the Atlanta 27, Fields hit Johnson for 24. On 3rd and goal at the 7, Fields hit Moore for the touchdown to make it 7-0 Bears. Koo then had a 42 yard field goal try that doinked off the upright no good. The Bears soon faced 3rd and 7 at their own 35. Fields went deep to Moore for 32. Fields ran for 9. The second quarter began with Fields hitting Robert Tonyan for 10. Fields ran for a 9 yard touchdown to make it 14-0 Bears. Yet one play and 14 seconds after a touchback, the Falcons were right back in it. Taylor Heinecke hit Tyler Allgeier on a swing pass, and Allgeier broke free down the sideline for a 75 yard touchdown to get the Falcons within 14-7. The Bears soon faced 3rd and 8 at their own 27. Fields went to Moore for 9. Khalil Herbert gained 12. Fields went to Scott for 16 and Tonyan for 24. On 4th and 1 from the Atlanta 3, Matt Eberflus went for it. Fields got the yard. Johnson ran for the 2 yard touchdown to make it 21-7 Bears. 

Cairo Santos missed a 55 yard field goal try on the last play of the half that would have extended the lead. Santos did hit from 22 in the third quarter to make it 24-7 Bears. Koo hit from 38 but Santo hit from 42 to have the bears up comfortably 27-10 after three quarters. The Falcons began the fourth quarter at their own 36. Robinson ran for 12 and 3. On 3rd and 7 just past midfield, Heinecke hit Jefferson for only 5 but defensive unnecessary roughness added 15 more. On 3rd and 5 from the Chicago 24, Heinecke ran for the touchdown to get the Falcons within 27-17 with 12 1/2 minutes left in regulation. A 15 yard punt return would give the Bears a short field at the Atlanta 44. Santos hit from 42 to make it 30-17 Bears. An interception of Heinecke meant another short field at the Atlanta 41. Herbert ran for 2, then ripped off a 38 yard gain, and then got the final yard to complete the scoring. Heinecke threw in one more interception. Both teams are 7-9 but the Falcons still have an outside shot of winning their awful division next week. 37-17 Bears

Las Vegas Raiders at Indianapolis Colts — The 7-8 Raiders and 8-7 Colts were both fighting for their playoff lives. The Colts were tied for the AFC South lead but did not hold the tie-breaker. The Raiders were coming off an emotional win at Kansas City where Aidan O’Connell completed 0 passes for 0 yards over the final 3 quarters. These teams met for the 6th straight year, with the road team winning the previous 5. The Colts made it look super easy early on. On 3rd and 5 from their own 30, Gardner Minshew went deep to Downs for a 50 yard gain. Jonathan Taylor did the rest, running for 5, 10, and the 5 yard touchdown to make it 7-0 Colts less than 3 minutes into the game. After a touchback, to the surprise of everyone, O’Connell came out throwing. After a touchback, the Raiders drove to a 3rd and 9 at the Indianapolis 21. O’Connell threw incomplete. Daniel Carlson hit a 40 yard field goal to get the Raiders within 7-3. 

The defenses dug in for awhile and in the second quarter the Colts took over at their own 10. Minshew hit Pittman for 11 and Jonathan Taylor for 8. With 4 minutes left in the half of a tight game, the key play came with the Colts facing 3rd and 1 at their own 42. Minshew escaped the  pressure and went bombs away to Pierce for a 58 yard touchdown and a 14-3 Colts lead. After a third quarter touchback, the Raiders played power football. Zamir White ran for 4 and 6. Aidan O’Connell hit Davante Adams for 11. White gained 9. On 3rd and 1 from the Indianapolis 45, a run lost a yard. After taking a delay of game penalty, on 4th and 7 the Raiders punted, but a roughing the kicker penalty meant 15 yards and a new set of downs. O’Connell went to Austin Hooper for 8 and 13. On 3rd and 3 from the Indy 6, Bolden gained 4. On 3rd and goal at the 4, O’Connell went to Adams for the touchdown. The 15 play, 75 yard drive took 8 1/2 minutes off the clock. The Raiders were right back in it down 14-10. 

Yet the Raiders could not get the stops when necessary. Matt Gay nailed a 38 yard field goal late in the third quarter and a 33 yarder midway through the fourth quarter to make it 20-10 Colts. The Raiders after a touchback moved to a 2nd and 6 at the Indy 15 with 4 1/2 minutes left. Yet O’Connell threw incomplete twice. Needing 2 scores, Carlson hit a 33 yard field goal to get the Raiders within 20-13. Yet after a touchback, the Raiders could not get a defensive stop. On 3rd and 8 from their own 38, Minshew threw incomplete but defensive pass interference on Jack Jones meant a 26 yard gain. With 3:20 to play the Raiders took their last timeout on defense with the Colts facing 4th and 5 at the Raiders 31. Gay was coming in for a 50 yard try to ice the game. The kick was no good. The Raiders had life. Yet they didn’t. Jack Jones was the hero the past 2 weeks. This week he was the goat. He jumped offside on the field goal try. Now Gay had a second chance from 45 yards out. This time he was good. The Colts led 23-13. The Raiders eventually scored, but it took a 4th and goal at the one miracle catch by Adams from O’Connell with only 43 seconds left. The onside kick failed and the Raiders were out of miracles. The Colts at 9-7 are still alive for the playoffs. The 7-9 Raiders were eliminated in gut-wrenching fashion. 23-20 Colts

Carolina Panthers at Jacksonville Jaguars — The 8-7 Jaguars came in having lost 4 straight. They were in a 3 way tie for their division lead and they held the tie-breaker. All they had to do was beat the worst team in the NFL. Sometimes a really bad team can go on the road and shock a better team. This was not that game. The Jaguars moved the ball up and down the field in the first half but could not reach the end zone. Brandon McManus hit field goals of 35 in the first quarter and 26 and 24 in the second quarter for a 9-0 Jaguars lead at halftime. In the third quarter, Travis Etienne broke free for a 62 yard touchdown run to make it 16-0 Jaguars. McManus hit his 4th field goal from 34 to make it 19-0 Jaguars. In the fourth quarter after the Panthers turned it over at their own 15, Etienne ran for a one yard touchdown. This is not why they play the games. The 9-7 Jaguars with a win next week win the NFC South. A loss could knock them out of the playoffs altogether. The Panthers are still on pace at 2-14 for the top pick in the 2024 NFL Draft, but they already traded the pick away to Chicago. 26-0 Jaguars

Tennessee Titans at Houston Texans — The 8-7 Texans were in the thick of the playoff race. They were tied atop their division but did not hold the tie-breaker. CJ Stroud returned from injury, sparking the team. The Texans moved from their own 32 to a 1st and goal at the 10. Stroud completed a pass for nothing and then threw incomplete twice. Kaimi Fairbairn hit a 28 yard field goal for a 3-0 Texans lead. The Texans got it back at their own 6 and soon faced 4th and 5 at their own 11. The Texans punted but a running into the kicker penalty meant 5 yards and the Texans keep the ball. The second quarter began with the Texans facing 2nd and 5 at their own 32. Singletary ran for 24. Collins ran for7 and caught a pass from Stroud for 10. On 3rd and 8 from the Tennessee 25, Stroud went to Collins for 13 and to Jordan for  12 yard touchdown to cap the 13 play, 94 yard, 7 1/2 minute drive and make it 10-0 Texans. After a touchback, disaster struck the Titans. Will Levis was sacked and fumbled. Rankin returned the fumble 13 yards for a defensive touchdown to make it 17-0 Texans. Levis was injured on the play as Ryan Tannehill came in for the second straight week. The Texans got it back at their own 36 and moved to a 3rd and 10 at the Tennessee 24. Stroud only gained 4. Fairbairn hit from 38 as the Texans were winning 20-0. Nick Folk managed a 53 yard field goal on the last play of the half but that is all the Titans got. The second half was a defensive slog. Fairbairn hit field goals of 27 in the third quarter and 51 in the fourth quarter. The 9-7 Texans with a win next week could make the playoffs . The division is in reach but they do not hold the tie-breaker. A loss next week could knock them out altogether. 26-3 Texans

Los Angeles Rams at New York Giants — The Rams started 3-6 but have gone 5-1 since and at 8-7 were very much alive in the playoff race. The Rams after a touchback moved to a 4th and 3 at the Giants 21. Sean McVay passed up a 39 yard field goal try to go for it. Matthew Stafford threw incomplete. The Rams got it back at their own 28. Stafford hit Williams for 5 and Robinson for 9. Stafford went to Tyler Higbee for 14. Williams ran for 10 and 8. Stafford went to Higbee for 18. Williams ran for a 4 yard touchdown to make it 7-0 Rams. After a touchback, Tyrod Taylor hit Saquon Barkley for 6 and Barkley ran for 10. On 3rd and 4 from the Giants 47, Taylor went to Robinson for 7. The second quarter had the Rams facing 3rd and 6 at the Rams 42. Taylor went to Hyatt for 18. Robinson ran for a 24 yard touchdown to  make it 7-7. Stafford threw an interception but Brian Daboll went for it on 4th and 1 from his own 47 and Taylor fumbled the ball away.  

The Rams rook over at the Giants 46. Stafford went to Higbee and Williams for a pair of 9 yard gains. Stafford hit Nacua for 13. Stafford found Cooper Kupp for a 5 yard touchdown to make it 14-7 Rams. Taylor was intercepted and the Rams fumbled the ball right back. The Giants took over at the Rams 43 with one minute left in the half. With 4 seconds left, a 45 yard field goal try by Mason Crosby was blocked. Yet a defensive leaping penalty gave Crosby another chance from 31. This time he was good as the Giants trailed 14-10 at the break. 

In the third quarter the Rams faced 3rd and 4 from their own 18. Stafford connected with Nacua on a short pass that went fo an 80 yard gain. On the next play Kyren Williams ran for a 2 yard touchdown. The extra point was no good as the Rams led 20-10. The Giants got it back and faced 3rd and 10 at their own 9. Taylor went o Darren Waller for 11. on the next play a short pass from Taylor to Darrius Slayton saw Slayton outrace everyone for an 80 yard touchdown. Another awful day for kickers saw another missed extra point as the Giants trailed 20-16. An interception of Stafford saw Belton return the pick 20 yards to the Rams 34. On 1st and goal at the 10 early in the fourth quarter, offensive holding killed the drive. Crosby hit a 32 yard field goal 90 seconds into the fourth quarter as the Giants trailed 20-19. 

The Rams after a touchback struck quickly. Stafford went to Robinson for 37. Williams ran for a 28 yard touchdown. Lucas Havrisisk missed his 2nd consecutive extra point on the day as the Rams led 26-19. The Giants after touchback moved to a 4th and 1 at the Rams 33 with 8 1/2 minutes left in regulation. Brian Daboll went for it and a completion by Taylor lost a yard. With 3 1/2 minutes left the Rams punted on 4th and 17 from their own 36. The home crowd at Metlife Stadium exploded when Olszewski returned the punt 94 yards for a touchdown. In a game where neither kicker was able to make extra points, Daboll decided to go for the lead rather than the tie. Taylor threw incomplete and the Giants trailed by one. The Rams went 3 and out and the Giants got the ball back with 1:08 to play at their own 35. There was plenty of time to pull off the upset. Taylor ripped off a 31 yard gain to the Rams 34 and spiked the ball with 42 seconds left. Yet a run lost 2 yards and Taylor threw incomplete. With 34 seconds left, Crosby came in for the 54 yard field goal try to win it. Crosby was no good. As Paul Maguire said, “I hate kickers. They should be paid $50 per game.” The Rams survived to get to 9-7. With a win next week, they make the playoffs. With a loss, they are most likely out. 26-25 Rams

Arizona Cardinals at Philadelphia Eagles — The Eagles barely survived last week to snap a 3 game losing streak. At 11-5 they still had a realistic chance at the top seed and home field throughout the playoffs. A win would put them in the driver’s seat to lock up their division with a win next week. All they had to do was beat the awful Cardinals at home. The Cardinals from their own 26 moved 64 yards in 14 plays and nearly 8 minutes. On 1st and goal at the 3, a run by Murray lost 9 yards to kill the drive. Matt Prater hit a 28 yard field goal to make it 3-0 Cardinals. After a touchback, Jalen Hurts went to AJ Brown for 16. On 3rd and 3 from their own 48, Hurts hit Dallas Goedert for 23. On 4th and 1 from the Arizona 20, Hurts gained 2 and the defense jumping offside added 5. Hurts hit Jones for a 12 yard touchdown to make it 7-3 Eagles. The Cardinals moved from their own 33 in the second quarter to a 3rd and 7 at the Philadelphia 24. Murray went for it all and was intercepted by Brown. Brown then electrified the home Philadelphia crowd by returning the interception 99 yards the other way. The defensive touchdown made it 14-3 Eagles. 

The Cardinals after a touchback embarked on a mind-numbing drive that took 16 plays, went 59 yards, and consumed 10 minutes off the clock. Yet on 3rd and 7 from the Philadelphia 21, a false start killed the drive. Prater hit from 34 as the Cardinals trailed 14-6. After a touchback, the Eagles had 1:50 to work with. Hurts went to Smith for 8 and Brown for 9 and 10. On 3rd and 1 from the Arizona 39, Nick Sirianni went to the bag of tricks. Gainwell threw the halfback option to Smith for 17. Hurts then went to Jones for a 22 yard touchdown with 16 seconds left. The Eagles were winning a laugher 21-6 at the break. 

The Cardinals began the third quarter facing 3rd and 1 at their own 34. Conner had already run for 4 and 5 and now he got the 10th yard. Carter ripped off a 16 yard run. Murray hit Wilson for 11 and 6. Carter ran for 21 more. Murray hit Carter for a 6 yard touchdown. The 10 play, 75 yard, 6 1/2 minute drive had the Cardinals within 21-13. The Eagles went 3 and out and the Cardinals got it back at their own 23. Conner ran for 4. Then Conner ripped off a 22 yard gain. Murray went to Dortch for 12 and Wilson for 13. Conner ran for 7. Murray went to Conner for a 5 yard touchdown. Jonathan Gannon went for a 2 point conversion. Murray hit Wilson successfully. All of a sudden, this game was tied 21-21 after three quarters. 

After a touchback, Hurts ran for 9. Deandre Swift added 4, 16 and 10 to end the third quarter and 5 more to star the fourth quarter.   Swift added 6 and 3 more. On 3rd and 1 from the Arizona 16, Hurts got stopped short. Nick sirianni went for it and on 4th and 1 Hurts got the yard. On 3rd and 4 from the Arizona 9, Hurts went to Dallas Goedert for the touchdown. With 10 minutes left in regulation, the Eagles led 28-21. The Cardinals took over at their own 23. Defensive pass interference added 29. Carter ran for 3, 18 and 2. Murray added 14. On 4th and 4 from the Philly 5 after an incompletion, there was still 5 1/2 minutes left in regulation. Jonathan Gannon went for it. Murray hit Wilson for the touchdown and the game was tied 28-28.

In a shocking turn of events, Jonathan Gannon put new meaning into the phrase nothing left to lose. The Cardinals are one of the worst teams in the league, but this game was tied. Gannon tried a surprise onside kick that did not work. The Eagles took over at the Arizona 39. On 1st and 10 from the Arizona 20, offensive holding killed the drive. Jake Elliott hit a 43 yard field goal to give the Eagles the 31-28 with 2 1/2 minutes left in regulation. The Cardinals took over at their own 30. Murray went to Moore for 12. Murray hit Dortch for 10 and again for 36. Conner ran for a 2 yard touchdown as the Cardinals and the 4 point lead in front of a shellshocked home crowd with 32 seconds left. After a touchback, the Eagles moved just shy of midfield with 14 seconds left. After Hurts threw deep incomplete, 7 seconds remained. Hurts’s Hail Mary reached the end zone and was intercepted. The Eagles with the loss are eliminated from the top seed. They fell back into a tie for the NFC East lead and they do not hold the tie-breaker. If they win next week and Dallas loses, the Eagles win the division and the first round bye most likely as the two seed. If the Eagles lose next week or Dallas wins, the Eagles drop all the way to the five seed wildcard. For the Cardinals, it was a stunner to build on. As ESPN uber-announcer Chris Berman reminds us: “THAT’s why they PLAY the GAMES!” 35-31 Cardinals 

New Orleans Saints at Tampa Bay Buccaneers — The 7-8 Saints and 8-7 Buccaneers battled for the NFC South and playoff survival. The Buccaneers with a win would lock up the division. The Saints began at their own 27. Although Derek Carr started, on the second play Taysom Hill hit Johnson for 11. Aviv Kamara ran for 13. On 3rd and 7 from the Tampa 42, Carr went to Chris Olave for 11. Williams ran for 4 and 7. On 3rd and goal at the 4, Carr went to Johnson for the touchdown. The 14 play, 73 yard, 8 minute drive made it 7-0 Saints. In the second quarter the Saints took over at their own 40. Carr went to Johnson for 12 and to Foster Moreau for 13. On 3rd and 7 from the Tampa Bay 29, Carr hit Johnson for just enough. Carr went to Hill for a 22 yard touchdown to make it 14-0 Saints. Dennis Allen’s defense unleashed for three quarters. Blake Grupe hit field goals of 45 to end the half and from 28 after a third quarter fumble to make it 20-0 Saints. The Buccaneers managed a touchdown midway through the fourth quarter, but Grupe hit another field goal from 38 to make it 23-7 Saints with only 4 minutes left. The Buccaneers got another garbage touchdown with 1:37 left but the 2 point conversion try and onside kick both failed. Both teams are 8-8. If the Buccaneers win next week, they still win the division. If they lose and the Saints win, the Saints win the division. If both teams lose, 7-9 Atlanta with a losing record would win the 3 way tie-breaker and win the division. 23-13 Saints

San Francisco 49ers at Washington Commanders — Despite getting blown out last week at home by Baltimore, the 11-4 49ers with a win would lock up home field throughout the NFC playoffs. After an opening touchback, the 49ers moved to a 2nd and 6 at the Washington 15. A short pass lost 5 yards, killing the drive. Moody hit a 38 yard field goal to make it 10-0 49ers. The 49ers got it back at their own 37. Christian McCaffrey ran for 7 and Deebo Samuel added 10. On 3rd and 9 from the Washington 45, Brock Purdy went to Brandon Aiyuk for 17 and samuel for 16. McCaffrey ran for 10. Purdy hit Samuel for a 2 yard touchdown to make it 10-0 49ers. After a touchback, the Commanders moved to a 2nd and 8 at the San Francisco 28. A run lost a yard and Sam Howell then threw incomplete. Joey Slye hit a 47 yard field goal to get the Commanders within 10-3. The Commanders got it back at their own 16. Howell went to Terry McLaurin for 11. On 3rd and 2 from his own 40, Howell went deep to McLaurin for 42. Robinson gained 4, 8 and 3. On 3rd and goal at the 3, Howell went to McLaurin for the touchdown. With 4 1/2 minutes left in the half, the game was tied 10-10.

After that, reality set in. After a touchback, the 49ers moved to 1st and goal at the one. A run lost 3 yards and Purdy threw incomplete twice. Moody hit from 22 to end the half with the 49ers up 13-10. The second half belonged to the San Francisco defense. The 49ers in the third quarter took over at their own 17. Purdy hit McCaffrey for 10. Mitchell gained 7, 11 and 6. Purdy hit Aiyuk for 9 and Mitchell added 7. A defensive facemark added 15. On 3rd and 1 from the Washington 9, Mitchell ran for 4, 3 and the 2 yard touchdown. The 12 play, 83 yard, 7 1/2 minute drive made it 20-10 49ers. After a touchback, the Commanders moved to a 1st and goal at the 2 to start the fourth quarter. They were ready tog et right back in the game. Then Howell was intercepted by Ward. The 49ers took over at their own 5. Mitchell ran for 15 and 6. Purdy went to Kyle Juszczyk for 7 and 9. Purdy then went deep to Aiyuk for 38. On 3rd and 9 from the Washington 17, Purdy went to Aiyuk for the touchdown to lock up the win. The Commanders put up a fight, but the 49ers at 12-4 are the top seed in the NFC with home field advantage throughout the playoffs and a first round bye. 27-10 49ers

Pittsburgh Steelers at Seattle Seahawks — Both teams came in 8-7 and fighting for their playoff lives. The Steelers early on faced 3rd and 1 at their own 45. Mason Rudolph got stopped. Mike Tomlin went for it and this time Rudolph got the yard. Najee Harris ran for 8 and 5. Rudolph hit George Pickens for 10. Jaylen Warren ran for an 18 yard touchdown to make it 7-0 Steelers. The Seahawks soon faced 3rd and 3 at their own 32. Geno Smith hit Noah Fant for 7. The second quarter began with Smith hitting DK Metcalf for 33. Walker ran for 11 and again for a 13 yard touchdown to make it 7-7. After a touchback, Warren ran for 23. Rudolph went to Pickens for 37. Yet on 3rd and 8 at the Seattle 13, Rudolph was sacked. Chris Boswell hit from 39 to make it 10-7 Steelers. 

After a touchback, Smith hit Walker for 11 and Fant for 21. Walker ran for 7 and 9. Smith went to Metcalf for 21. On 3rd and 11 from the Pittsburgh 12, Smith went to Smith-Nigba for the touchdown and a 14-10 Seahawks lead. The Steelers soon faced 3rd and 4 at their own 31. Rudolph went to Pat Freiermuth for 25. Harris ran for 23. On 3rd and 4 from the Seattle 15, Rudolph went to Johnson for 5. Harris ran for a 9 yard touchdown to put the Steelers up 17-14 with 1:36 left in the half. The Seahawks began the third quarter at their own 35 and moved to a 3rd and 4 at the Pittsburgh 24. Smith threw incomplete. Jason Myers hit from 43 as this well-played game was tied 17-17. 

The Steelers took over at their own 29. Rudolph went to Freiermuth for 14. Harris gained 5 and 7. Rudolph went to Johnson for 42. Harris ran for a 4 yard touchdown to make it 24-17 Steelers. The Seahakwd moved atom their own 14 to a 4th and 5 at the Pittsburgh 24 only 90 seconds into the fourth quarter. Myers hit the 42 yard field goal to get the Seahawks within 24-20. The Steelers moved from their own 27 to a 4th and 7 at the Seattle 8. Boswell hit from 26 to put the Steelers up 27-20 midway through the fourth quarter. One play after a touchback came the play of the game. Smith was sacked and fumbled. The Steelers took over at the Seattle 16. They settled for a 21 yard Boswell field goal, but the Steelers led 30-20 with only 4 1/2 minutes left. Needing 2 scores, the Seahawk moved to a 1st and goal at the 5. Yet Smith threw 3 straight incompletions. Pete Carroll opted for the field goal. Myers hit from 24 with 2:01 left. Yet the onside kick failed. At the 2 minute warning, Rudolph hit Pickens for 24. On 3rd and 7 from the Seattle 17, Harris gained 12 and slid to the ground as the Steelers ran out the clock. Both the 9-7 Steelers and 8-8 Seahawks need to win next week and get help to make the playoffs. 30-23 Steelers

Cincinnati Bengals at Kansas City Chiefs — For the last 2 years, this was the AFC Title Game. This time the 8-7 Bengals were fighting for playoff survival against a vulnerable 9-6 Chiefs team. After a touchback, the Bengals moved to a 4th and 7 at the Kansas City 16. Evan McPherson hit from 34 to make it 3-0 Bengals. After a touchback, Isaiah Pacheco ran for 9. Mahomes went to Rice for 18. Pacheco ran for 35. On 3rd and goal at the 8, Mahomes hit Pacheco for the touchdown to make it 7-3 Chiefs. The Bengals soon faced 3rd and 2 at their own 33. Jake Browning went deep to JaMarr Chase for 24. The second quarter began with Browning hitting Sample for 11 and Joe Mixon for 10.  Browning hit Mixon for a 7 yard touchdown to make it 10-7 Bengals. The Chiefs soon faced 3rd and 7 at their own 28. Mahomes was sacked and fumbled. The Bengals recovered at the Kansas City 24. On 3rd and 2, Browning hit Hudson for 9. On 3rd and goal at the 6, Browning threw incomplete but defensive pass interference meant 1st and goal at the one. On 3rd and goal, Browning got the yard for the touchdown with 6 1/2 minutes left in the half. For the second straight week, the Chiefs were losing at home by double digits by the exact same score as the Bengals led 17-7. 

Yet after that the entire rest of the game belonged to the Kansas City defense and kicker Harrison Butker. Butker hit from 54 and 43 in the second quarter to get the Chiefs within 17-13. The Bengals moved to a 4th and 1 at the Kansas City 6 midway through the third quarter. Zac Taylor went for it and Mixon got blasted for a 3 yard loss. Butker hit a 27 yard field goal to have the Chiefs within 17-16 after three quarters. In the fourth quarter Butker hit field goals of 24, 48 and 46. Butker’s 6 field goals had the Chiefs up by 8 with 3 minutes left in regulation. The Bengals after a touchback faced 4th and 18 at their own 32. Browning hit Boyd for 23. Yet consecutive sacks of Browning had the Bengals facing 3rd and 27 at their own 38 with 1:19 to play. Browning threw deep incomplete twice and the Chiefs survived. At 8-8, the Bengals after 2 consecutive trips to the AFC Title Game including one Super Bowl appearance were out of the playoffs. Browning played admirably, but he is not Joe Burrow. As for the Chiefs, nothing came easy this year. Yet they at 10-6 are locked into the three seed and an rest their players next week if they choose. The Chiefs hung on to win the AFC West for the 8th straight year, making Andy Reid a most happy walrus indeed. 25-17 Chiefs 

Los Angeles Chargers at Denver Broncos — The 7-8 Broncos came into this game with slim playoff hopes against a Chargers team that was done for the year. Yet the controversial decision by Sean Payton to bench Russell Wilson for Jarrett Stidham sent shock waves through the Rocky Mountains. A hideous game became a battle of field goals. Wil Lutz hit from 32 in the first quarter for a 3-0 Broncos lead. Cameron Dicker hit from 36 in the second quarter to make it 3-3. The Broncos soon faced 3rd and 2 at their own 33. McLaughlin gained 11. On 3rd and 8 from their own 46, Stidham threw a short pass that Humphrey took for a 54 yard touchdown. The Broncos led 10-3, but that was the game’s only touchdown. The Chargers gambled on 4th and 1 from their own 44 but fumbled the snap and the Broncos recovered. Lutz hit from 43 to make it 13–3 Broncos. On the last play of the half, Lutz missed from 48. In the third quarter Dicker hit from 50 to get the Chargers within 13-6. The Chargers got it back and fumbled the ball away as the Broncos took over at the Chargers 38 to start the fourth quarter. Despite reaching 1st and goal at the one, the Broncos got stopped and Payton was not in a gambling mood. Lutz hit from 20 to make it 16-6 Broncos with 11 minutes left in regulation. With 6 1/2 minutes left from 50 yards out, Dicker was no good. Dicker did hit from 52 to get the Chargers within 7, but by then only 1:17 remained. The onside kick failed as the game’s only touchdown was the difference. The 8-8 Broncos despite the win were eliminated from playoff contention based on other games. 16-9 Broncos

Green Bay Packers at Minnesota Vikings is the Sunday night game. Both teams came in 7-8 and fighting for their playoff lives. Yet with everything on the line, only one team showed up. The Packers moved from their own 20 and moved to a 2nd and 8 at the Minnesota 16. Jordan Love threw incomplete twice. Anders Carlson hit from 34 to make it 3-0 Packers. With Kirk Cousins injured and neither Joshua Dobbs or Nick Mullens getting it done, it was 4th string quarterback Hall who got the start. Hall was quickly intercepted to set up the Packers at the Minnesota 33. From that spot, Love went to Reed for the touchdown and the 10-0 Packers advantage. Greg Joseph did hit a 54 yard field goal for the Vikings in the second quarter, but the Packers after a touchback broke the game open. Love went to Reed for 15 and Kraft for 13. On 3rd and 1 from the Minnesota 24, Aaron Jones gained 8. Love ran for a 2 yard touchdown to make it 17-3 Packers with 4 minutes left in the half. With 30 seconds left in the half, Hall was sacked and fumbled. The Packers took over at the Minnesota 37.

Love went to Jayden Reed for a 25 yard touchdown with 8 seconds left in the half. The extra point was no good but the Packers led 23-3. The Bikings began the third quarter at their own 43 and moved to a 3rd and 3 at the Green Bay 8. A run lost a yard. Kevin O’Connell went for it on 4th and 4. Mullins, who took over after halftime for a floundering Hall, threw incomplete. From his own 10, Jones ran for 25. On 3rd and 8 from his own 37, Love went to Heath for 13. Love hit Kraft and Jones for 10 apiece. Love hit Melton for a 9 yard touchdown to cap the 90 yard drive and make it 30-3 Packers. An irrelevant fourth quarter saw the Vikings get a garbage touchdown and the Packers tack on one more field goal. The 8-8 Packers and 7-9 Vikings both need to win next week and get help to make the playoffs. 33-10 Packers

 

The Top 10 Powerful Bald White Guys (PBWGs) of 2023

December 29th, 2023

Top 10 Powerful Bald White Guys of 2023

This list is dedicated to the late radio host Austin Hill. He was a great guy who left us far too soon. He loved this list and gave it more attention than it ever deserved. May he never be forgotten.

This list was inspired by Dann Florek, who played Police Captain Donald Cragen on the “Law & Order” franchises for a couple decades.

A lot of people did not make the list. Joe Biden is ineligible until he admits his baldness and stops hiding behind hair plugs. Vladimir Putin is ineligible because he is a ruthless killer and I do not wish to die. If he asks, I think he has lovely hair. 

Jeff Bezos is the richest man in the world, but he is no longer the CEO of Amazon. Being rich is not the same as being powerful. Bring powerful requires doing things. He seems either bored or retired. Rupert Murdoch seems to be retired as well. 

Virginia Congressman Bob Good will almost certainly make the list in 2024. He is the incoming Chair of the House Freedom Caucus. He does not take over until after the New Year begins, rendering him ineligible for 2023.

With that, here are the 2023 Austin Hill Awards dedicated to the Top 10 PBWGs of 2023.

10.) Chip Roy:  This Congressman from Texas is a member of the House Freedom Caucus. He says what he means and vice versa. He has spent the year dragging other politicians kicking and screaming into fiscal restraint. He would rank higher on the list except that he has had few successes on this front. It is tough to govern when you barely hold one of three branches of government. If and only if Republicans increase their majorities in 2024, expect Congressman Roy to have significantly more influence.  

9.) John Stanley: The CEO of A T & T is on the front lines of the newest tranche of the digital revolution. While this company has a reputation for nickeling and timing their customers, that also makes a terrible company a great stock over the long term. After destroying DirecTV, Mr. Stanley came in and spun it off. Mr. Stanley according to surveys of various companies ranks near the bottom in likability, with less than 5% of his employees approving of his job performance. To be fair, employees have gotten terribly worse, especially among young people. Mr. Stanley would rank higher, but A T& T is one of the most mind-numbingly boring companies in America. If they somehow catch the AI wave, his standing on this list might improve. 

8.) Kevin O’Leary: Shark Tank’s “Mr. Wonderful” is one of the sharpest investors around. He speaks plainly and with common sense. He actually ran to be the leader of Canada’s Conservative Party in 2017. He should have been on this list for years but 2023 was his breakout year in terms of exposure. He went from being almost everywhere to everywhere. His insights are valuable. He would rank higher except sometimes it is hard to figure out exactly what it is he does. 

7.) Dave Calhoun: The CEO of Boeing is more influential than ever. Just when it looked like Russia and Ukraine were headed toward stalemate and possible ceasefire, Islamists in Gaza waged war on Israel. World War III may be bad for society, but it is great for defense contractors. with the Middle East on the verge of exploding into flames, Mr. Calhoun will make sure to crank out the necessary weapons.  More importantly, he seems to be a very competent CEO. Boeing stock recently hit an annual high. 

6.) Warren Buffett: On a personal level, the Berkshire Hathaway CEO suffered the loss of his Vice Chairman Charles Minger at age 99. By contrast, the Oracle of Omaha is a spry 93. Buffett is the epitome of a value investor. He avoided the dot com boom and bust a couple decades ago. Now he is warning anyone who will listen that Bitcoin and other cryptocurrencies are a scam. Buffett is also against woke investing despite being a lifelong Democrat. He refuses to bring his personal politics into his investing, which is why people across the spectrum trust him. He is often wrong in calling for higher taxes, but after all these decades, there is still nobody more respected when it comes to picking a stock. 

5.) Bob Casey Jr.: Like his father, Senator Casey the younger is that rarest of creatures, a pro-life Democrat. A staunch Catholic, Casey is an accurate representation of the heavily Catholic, blue collar Pennsylvania voters. Normally a reliable Democrat vote, Casey often confounds his own party. He has a brutally tough 2024 race against conservative David McCormack. If Casey can survive that race, his influence will grow if Democrats hold the Senate.    

 

4.) Jared Polis: The Colorado Governor is more than just the leader of one of the first states to allow recreational marijuana. Now he oversees the first state to suspend the rule of law and ban a major party presidential candidate from running for office. While it was the Colorado Supreme Court that made the decision to ban Trump based on an insurrection he was never charged with, Polis gets to have it both ways. He can pretend to be above the fray while privately maneuvering to be the 2024 Democrat nominee if President Biden resigns. Polis is not known for ever taking a brave stand, so his rise or fall on this list will be determined by how he navigates this Constitutional time bomb. Polis benefits if the U.S. Supreme Court renders the issue moot. 

3.) Gary Gensler: The Chairman of the Securities and Exchange Commission is a political activist with a thirst for regulating everything in sight. With the stock market hitting all time highs, he is expected to throw cold water on the party. Gensler is fine with woke DEI at the expense of corporate profits but heaven forbid a good CEO not have enough diversity. With calls to regulate cryptocurrencies, Gensler will have even more power. He is a former Goldman Sachs guy, which propelled his access to power. Republicans are trying to have him fired, but Goldman Sachs power brokers are usually above the law.  

2.) John Fetterman: This rich white leftist spent his entire life doing hard drugs and leeching off of his parents. Like most failures, he became a hardcore leftist virtue-signaler. Despite suffering a stroke during the campaign, he still got elected as a U.S. Senator from Pennsylvania. He was expected to vote leftist down the line. Then he shocked the political world by offering startlingly lucid thoughts that broke from leftist Orthodoxy. He came out as a staunch supporter of Israel in a party with an increasingly influential and militant anti-Israel left wing. He also called for more border security. He even declared that he was not a progressive. When he was verbally accosted by an angry leftist who accused him of betrayal, he showed a surprising sense of humor. He pointed out his recent stroke and claimed that this left him unable to understand what the angry protester was saying. Senator Fetterman is less than one year into his term, and he has already angered people across the political spectrum. He has at least five more years to confound people without consequences. That is power. Yet for the second year in a row, Fetterman comes up one spot short. 

1.) David Solomon — Normally the Head Sled at Golden Sachs is the top PBWG because Goldman Sachs runs the world. Goldman Sachs has a history of flitting in between corporate power and government power. Jon Corzine, Hank Paulson, and Lloyd Blankfein are all former Goldman Sachs PBWG top dogs. Solomon has missed out on the top spot in recent years due to tough economic times, war raging across the world, and an anti-Wall Street climate. Yet in 2023, happy days are here again. The stock market hit an all time high. Goldman Sachs now has its usual level of undue influence over the government. The company that is too big to fail with executives who are too big to jail escaped scrutiny during financial meltdowns. They are not going to lose power when Wall Street is making money hand over fist. 

For being the most powerful guy at the most powerful company, David Solomon is the Top Powerful Bald White Guy of 2023.  

The Top 10 B*mbos of 2023

December 28th, 2023

Top 10 Bimbos of 2023

Dedicated to Barack Obama and Taylor Swift, the Top 10 Bimbos of 2023 highlight shallow, vapid individuals who do well in life without having an ounce of substance. Through their words, Obama and Swift represent overprivileged spoiled brats who complain about anyone and everyone they perceive to have done them wrong. They are both airheads and terrible role models who are held up in high esteem by their equally shallow and vapid supporters. 

The term “bimbo” is gender neutral. This is to keep the nose-ringed, blue-haired Gen Z social media censors from screaming bloody rage about sexism and every other ism. They are bimbos themselves. If you do not know your own gender, you should not comment on any issues committed by any human beings, much less censor anyone. 

Too many of these young people claiming to belong to 200 different genders are taking drugs that could turn out to be every bit as dangerous as heroin and cocaine. In at least one case, a trans person who took dangerous hormones went into a homicidal rage against innocent young Christian children. Nashville school shooter and radical trans activist Audrey Hale can very close to making the list, but her horrific story is incomplete. Portions of Hale’s manifesto have been released, but until the entire manifesto is released, this story will not get the attention it deserves. 

Sam Bankman-Fried did not make the list. As awful as he is, his arrest and conviction in 2023 is not the beginning or end of the story. His crypto exchange FTX went bankrupt in 2022. What happens to these cryptocurrency firms in 2024 is a bigger story than SBF himself. He is not the first scammer who took advantage of suckers by peddling a fake product that does nothing. 

With that, here are the Top 10 Bimbos of 2023.

10.) WeWork customers:  WeWork, according to WeWork, was a revolutionary company that forever changed the concept of office space. In reality, WeWork was a company that did nothing, made nothing, and produced nothing. It was the Bitcoin of furniture. Its business model was catering to narcissistic young people who also in many cases did nothing but wanted to give the appearance of doing something. WeWork rented small office spaces to young dreamers who wanted to convince potential clients that they had an office. People living beyond their means wanted to appear hip and cool, and the best way to do that is waste money on totally unnecessary expenditures. When the COVID pandemic hit, people stopped going into offices. Many people did not return. Young people returned to their parents’ basements. Some of these people tried to get rich by becoming “content” creators only to find out that nobody cared what they had to say. At this point it became even more unnecessary for people to pay for office space when they did not offer a product or service. People who could afford nice big office spaces did not need WeWork. People who needed to just keep up appearances could not afford WeWork. 

9.) Josh McDaniels and Brandon Staley — The Raiders and the Chargers have been AFC West rivals since 1960. Both of them have recently suffered under terrible coaches. Yet there are plenty of bad coaches throughout the many sports in America. McDaniels and Staley are special cases. Their aloof nature and constant arrogance without the results to back it up caused them to take talented teams and drive those teams into the ground. They both had “my way or the highway” systems. McDaniels got rid of the heart and soul of his team, Derek Carr. All Carr did was lead the Raiders to the playoffs the year before. Staley would repeatedly go for it fourth down deep in his own territory with disastrous results. Both of these teams would be on the verge of winning games until their coaches found ways to help their teams lose.  The Raiders set a record for most blown double digit leads in one season in 2021. McDaniels doubled down and became more defiant. The Chargers blew a 27-0 lead in a playoff game only to lose 31-30. The Chargers even lost a game this year where they gave up 63 points…ironically to the Raiders. This would rank higher except both of these teams fired their coaches.  The owners admitted they got it wrong, something the coaches they fired could and would never do. The worst people are people with power who are bad at everything and blame everyone else for their own incompetence.

8.) Brittany Mahomes & Jackson Mahomes — While the Raiders and Chargers flounder, the Kansas City Chiefs are on the verge of winning the AFC West for the eighth straight year. The defending Super Bowl champions have a great coach in Walrus Andy Reid and a 25th century Buck Rodgers freak of nature in quarterback Patrick Mahomes. Mahomes has won two Super Bowls and has the potential to be the greatest quarterback to ever play the game. Yet he also has hanger-ons who have no skills of their own while exploiting his fame to their benefit. His wife Brittany Mahomes is constantly throwing temper tantrums and mouthing off to the media. Now she hangs out in a luxury suite with Taylor Swift and acts even more insufferable. Swift is annoying herself, but at least she built a majorly successful career as a singer. Brittany Mahomes simply married a talented guy and confused fame with accomplishments. Jackson Mahomes is even worse. Patrick’s brother is a TikTok star, which means he does goofy dances and demands to be given money and fame for them. If he had another last name, nobody would care. He is banned from at least one eating establishment in Kansas City for forcibly trying to kiss the owner. Off the field, he faced sexual battery charges. On the field, he has danced on opposing team logos and provoked fans of opposing teams. Jackson and Brittany both attack the referees and behave badly during games. Patrick is famous for his earned successes. Brittany and Jackson are famous for being famous. People who get ahead based on the hard work of others and then complain about life are truly among the most narcissistic people on earth.

7.) Kamala Harris and Anthony Blinken: The entire Biden administration is one big bag of third tier untalented people. The only qualification seems to be to check various identity politics boxes and be bad at everyone. Yet two administration officials stand out for their utter uselessness. Vice President Kamala Harris is unable to complete a full sentence. Her numerous “word salads” are the way she tries to hide not studying for the tests and not knowing the answers. She is fooling nobody. She was socially promoted because of her race, gender and ideology. Her supporters keep demanding that Americans see her race as an accomplishment. She is a fairly dumb woman who romantically dated t the correct people and got pushed upward. Secretary of State Anthony Blinken was hired specifically because his approach to foreign policy is unilateral American surrender. He shuttles to and from various world locations without anything resembling an accomplishment. No matter how badly Harris and Blinken fail, they cannot be fired. President Joe Biden needs them to placate his far left wing. Normally John Kerry would top a list of useless administration officials, but at least he runs a department that nobody cares about. With the war on Israel raging, Harris and Blinken are both openly calling for actions akin to Israel surrender and suicide. That is also their approach to the United States, but luckily for those who value global civilization, the Israelis have told them both to go pound sand. Their constant attacks on Israel Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu while his army faces off against genocidal Islamist terrorists would be shocking if it weren’t so expected. The world burns, and Harris and Blinken babble about diversity, multiculturalism and other causes of American failure. They are failure. The world knows it, yet they march on as if they have an ounce of competence and respect anywhere. They confuse power with worth. 

6.) Alissa Heinerscheid: It takes a lifetime to build a reputation, but it can all be destroyed at the speed of (Bud) light. 2023 was the year where two of the most respected institutions in America destroyed their once platinum reputations. Anheiser Busch was one of the best companies in the history of American business. They did everything right. They wrapped themselves in the American flag. Their Super Bowl ads made us laugh with frogs and lizards and tugged at our patriotic heartstrings with noble Clydesdale horses and fire rescue dogs. Budweiser was America, the King of Beers. Then a political activist named Alissa Heinerscheid joined the Anheiser Busch marketing department in a senior role. She came up with the worst marketing campaign in advertising history. She hired transgender social media personality Dylan Mulvaney to be a spokesperson for Bud Light.  The backlash was swift and severe. Making matters worse, Heinerscheid attacked her company’s own customer base as “fratty” and “out of touch.” Sales plummeted as customers flocked to Miller and other beer companies. Anheiser Busch dropped as low as 14th, and has yet to recover. Naturally, in typical Gen Z activist fashion, Heinerscheid doubled down rather than apologize. Arrogance and certitude of being right while completely failing is truly awful behavior. 

5.) Ivy League Presidents:  Claudine Gay is one of far too many Ivy League professors who range from openly tolerating antisemitism to openly being antisemitic. Just before Hanukkah and only two months after a terrorist attack against Israel, Ivy League university presidents imploded at a House committee hearing. Congresswoman Elise Stefanik asked three university presidents what should have been an easy question. Would calling for the genocide of Jews be against the rules and laws of their universities? Harvard President Claudine Gay, University of Pennsylvania President Liz Magill, and Massachusetts Institute of Technology President Sally Kornbluth all tried to whitewash antisemitic calls for genocide. They babbled about how such remarks had to be taken “in context,” as if there was ever was a justifiable context for murdering Jews in cold blood. Large donors immediately began canceling planned future gifts. Prestigious law firms and other companies vowed to no longer hire graduating students from these institutions. Three days after her disastrous congressional testimony, Magill resigned under pressure of being fired. The other two have survived for now. Former President Barack Obama personally lobbied behind the scenes to protect Gay, given their shared status as DEI cheerleaders and token hires under DEI themselves. 

4.) Claudine Gay: On the education front, Harvard was the top of the top. Then they socially promoted an unqualified woman named Claudine Gay to the elite institution’s presidency solely because she is a black woman and hardcore activist for the Diversity, Equity and Inclusion movement. Gay came under fire during a disastrous House committee hearing where she refused to condemn calls on her campus for genocide against Jews. Matters got worse for her when it was discovered that she is a serial plagiarizer She has been in open violation of rules that would get her own students expelled. She is now refusing to provide the data for the very few papers she published, leading to charges that her data was completely fabricated. She is threatening to sue Harvard if she is fired. Yet there are people at Harvard far worse than her who deserve b*mbo recognition.

3.) Harvard Board of Trustees: Harvard’s Board of Trustees cannot fire President Claudine Gay even though she is corrupt and incompetent. Firing her would require admitting that they were duped by the twin frauds of DEI and Ms. Gay herself. 20 years after the New York Times was humiliated for socially promoting Jason Blair, Harvard has learned nothing. For the first time in school history, students are rejecting early entry into the school. Harvard’s selling point was that it was the ultimate meritocracy. Only the very best and brightest got to go there. This has been exposed as a lie. There is nothing about Claudine Gay that screams merit. The Harvard Board of Trustees, like many bimbos, would rather double and triple down rather than just admit error. Keep in mind that these people all range on the political scale of liberal to leftist. Arrogance and a refusal to ever admit being wrong are trademarks are rich white liberals. The Board of Trustees would rather lose donors and let their reputation burn in flames than admit that being a black woman by itself is not an accomplishment. Gay is a leftist, and the Board has to publicly declare that being a black female leftist automatically makes a person superior in intelligence. This has never been true. Supposedly bright people have been exposed as dumb, and they are helpless in correcting the error. They went woke and are paying the price. 

2.) Greeniac rioters: All around the world, upper class leftists are committing ecoterrorism based on some pseudo-scientific claptrap about “climate change.” For people, on the left course of course, who believe the ends justify the means, violence is always on the answer. Young leftist climate activists are gluing themselves to expensive paintings, vandalizing office buildings, and getting away with it. These radicals have now infected America’s government. Interior Secretary Deb Haaland’s daughter Somah Haaland committed a ct of domestic eco-terrorism and got away with it because of her mother’s power. Try Googling Somah Haaland. Her incident has been scrubbed from search engines. She was arrested. She was guilty. Yet she is free as can be. Many of these young thugs are airheads who riot for the sake of rioting. They move from cause to cause without knowing or caring about the facts of what and why they are rioting. So as people get bored of climate change, they are forced to shift to another cause. Unfortunately for America and the world, Greta Thunberg and the rest of the eco-terrorists have found their new cause. 

1.) Anti-Israel rioters: After the Holocaust, it was taken for granted that America was the one place besides Israel where Jews could feel comfortable. When the most recent war between Israel and her Arab neighbors broke out, carefully organized anti-Israel protests broke out all over America. Virulent antisemitism bubbling below the surface exploded out into the open on college campuses. America’s most “progressive” cities held rallies where people chanted genocidal claims such as “From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free.” Even New York and Los Angeles, home to the largest Jewish populations outside of Israel, felt the wrath of violent anti-Jewish mobs. These were not free speech rallies. They were pogroms. In Los Angeles, an Arab man assaulted and killed a Jewish man named Paul Kessler in broad daylight. The Arab killer is being tried for a lesser homicide charge but not murder. Pictures of Jewish hostages are being ripped down by anti-Jewish mobs. Jews are having their stores vandalized with Nazi symbols. Chants of “Go back to the ovens,” once unthinkable in America, are openly being said without consequences. The antisemitic mobs are claiming the right to free speech, but there is no constitutional right to violently riot. Jews are taking extra safety measures and buying more guns than ever for protection. The federal government has issued meaningless platitudes condemning all forms of hate including Islamophobia. Yet Jews are the ones explicitly being attacked, often with impunity. Despite efforts to blame everything on “MAGA,” this antisemitism is clearly coming from the left. Many of the rioters have rioted for other leftist causes including radical climate action and radical gay and transgender actions. “Queers for Palestine” marches loudly and proudly without a hint of self-awareness. Many young people on TikTok are openly supporting Hamas and even Osama bin Laden. Jews are attempting to fight back, but the battle is an uphill one. Many of these protesters are idiots, claiming they care about “Palestinians” without being able to articulate where “Palestinians” came from. The rioters also cannot tell you which river and which sea they want the Jews free from. For combining evil Jew-hatred with utter stupidity, these leftist rioters, many on Ivy League universities, are the top bimbos of 2023. 

These are the Top 10 Bimbos of 2023. May they go away in 2024 and stay away.

eric