Archive for February, 2013

John Kerry and other Predator Drones

Thursday, February 21st, 2013

Game of Drones

When President Barack Obama and CIA nominee John Brennan decided to employ the use of drones, the resulting kerfuffle seemed odd. If they want to deploy John Kerry around the world, why should we care? If Kerry successfully bores our enemy to death, diplomacy for once would be useful.

Enough fun. “Game of Drones” is serious.


The next Jewish Pope?

Wednesday, February 20th, 2013

My application to be Pope

Dear Pope selectors:

I hope you will consider my resume in your search for the next Pope.


Obama’s unprecedented life

Tuesday, February 19th, 2013

Obama, Hagel, and unprecedented GOP obstructionism

When Republicans temporarily blocked the nomination of Senator Chuck Hagel to become Secretary of Defense, Obama defenders including Harry Reid immediately labeled the GOP action “unprecedented” obstruction. As with many liberal accusations against conservatives during the Obama presidency, the words unprecedented  and “historic” are the latest terms to be turned on their heads.


Obama, Woods, golf, and other boring stories

Monday, February 18th, 2013

President Obama golfs with Tiger Woods

This past weekend President Obama played golf with Tiger Woods. White House reporter Ed Henry expressed frustration at the lack of access and transparency about the weekend. This is one of those rarest of occasions where President Obama is right and his critics are wrong. Here is why.


Dr. Benjamin Carson–Let the liberal attacks begin

Monday, February 18th, 2013

Dr. Benjamin Carson will soon get Palined

Dr. Benjamin Carson created a stir by challenging President Barack Obama’s class warfare at the National Prayer Breakfast. Carson is a black conservative, and every ounce of hostility and ideological bigotry will be directed at this man until he is ground into dust.


Valentine’s Day Hate Mail

Monday, February 18th, 2013

Valentine’s Day Hate Mail

Nothing says love and Valentine’s Day like anti-love mail, normally referred to as hate mail. While some of my responses have been offered many times before, it is because most liberals are not that creative. They say the same things over and over again, usually off of a teleprompter. Until they put in the effort to write better hate mail, I will continue to treat them like the public school products that they are.

With that, here is a batch of my Valentine’s Day anti-love mail.

“Richard Marvin
How did you end up being such a total moron?”

Analysis: Public school. Liberals got ahold of me early.

“j lavin
mr golub: poor attempt at real satire. pretty much high school–ish.”

Analysis: What this lazy slob means is he disagrees with me but cannot say why.

“Nathan Ring
Are you really this stupid or are you just keeping the propaganda machine rolling? You are obviously on dope and you look like a queer.”

Analysis: This is one of those “enlightened” liberals who thinks it is cool to make anti-gay slurs. Apparently all of those Wanda Sykes “That is so gay” commercials are not working.

“Joe Johnson
Here's a question…you're totally lame!”

Analysis: Even by liberals and public school standards, this is pretty bad.

“Tom Jordan
Eric..Do you sleep with a obama blow up doll? I bet you do and your'e on the bottom face down. I bet you get all wet and grab the vaseline whenever chris matthews in on MSNBC taking about obama and his tingle.”

Analysis: This man is a conservative who read my headline and did not realize it was satire. He thought I was a liberal. I admonished him to stop acting like one, and to never ever criticize another column again unless he reads it in full. I expect nonsense from liberals. From conservatives, it is unacceptable. We are held to higher standards, that being above zero.

“Marty Perry
How did you get your head so far up your ass?”

Analysis: Yoga. I learned it from liberals. They seem to love Yoga, veganism, and high speed rail. If I learn from them and practice hard, I can get my head up there in lightning fast speed and be more environmentally conscious doing it.

Re: Your failed attempt at humor in your self-serving SOTU report

Wow. What a douche you are. Please note that I intentionally left the “bag” off of the slur, since someone so petty really doesn’t warrant an entire insult.

I read the NYT. I read the Washington Post. I read the LA Times. I read the Chicago Tribune. I have read the Rocky Mountain News for decades, and many other quality papers. Your article on the SOTU, complete with its juvenile sarcasm evident from paragraph one, is prima facie evidence why educated people should avoid that rag of a newspaper (Washington Times) at all costs. I guess that, when you can’t break news, you are left with a staff of second-rate hacks like yourself that throw feces at better men. I understand. Really, I do.

To quote our fascist former Vice-President, Dick Cheney:
“Go fuck yourself”.

I can’t imagine anyone wanting to do it for you.”

Analysis: I wish New York Times owner Arthur “Pinch” Sulzberger would stop emailing me pretending to be one of his own readers. Everybody knows he no longer has readers. Nevertheless, at least his vocabulary has improved slightly.

Say it with me everybody. These are liberals. This is how they behave.


NFL 2012–May it never be remembered

Sunday, February 17th, 2013

NFL 2012–Good riddance

The end of NFL 2012 brings two words that should never be associated with the game of football: Good riddance.

It is a relief that NFL 2012 will never be played again. One of the best Super Bowl games cannot paper over the worst season in the history of the National Football League.


Jesse Jackson Jr. being treated for Chicago corruption

Saturday, February 16th, 2013

Jesse Jackson Jr. pleads guilty: Barack Obama and Rahm Emanuel still at large

In a stunning development that shocked everybody except for everybody, Chicago Democratic Congressman Jesse Jackson Jr. pled guilty to being a typical Chicago Democrat.

While Jesse Jackson Jr. will be joining former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich in prison, many other Chicago Democrats continue to roam free. As of now President Barack Obama, Mayor Rahm Emanuel, Reverend Jesse Jackson Sr. and every member of the Daley clan are still at large enjoying wealth and power as their city burns to the ground.





Marco Rubio gets Palined

Friday, February 15th, 2013

Marco Rubio: Why “Watergate” matters

After President Barack Obama gave his 2013 State of the Union address, Florida Senator Marco Rubio delivered the Republican response. Obama offered government activism. Rubio extolled free enterprise. This is a worthy “national conversation.” The liberal Obama media instead obsessed over Rubio reaching for a cup of water during his speech.

As much as conservatives wish to change the subject, “Watergate” does matter.


Valentine’s Day 2013

Thursday, February 14th, 2013

Valentine’s Day: Staying home is fine

As women prepare for Valentine’s Day, men dating those women will fake enthusiasm. Women will insist that “their” man would never do this. Women have actually convinced themselves that their man enjoys going to the opera as well. Trust me. He wants to hang himself during intermission. So here is how Valentine’s Day can be enjoyable for both parties.