THE TYGRRRR EXPRESS

If I hear Al Gore or some other braindead Hollywood celebrity (Gore’s winning an Academy Award finally puts him in this most deserving category) blather on about global warming, I am going to search the internet for professional rump-kickers, and have them delivered to their doors to perform their specialty.

I am tired of hearing about global warming. It used to be just because I did not care. That’s right, you heard me, I don’t care. One day, long after I am gone, this planet might be destroyed. I will not lose an ounce of sleep. Do I feel an obligation to help save it? No. I did not cause slavery. I did not steal land from the Indians. I did not cause the mess in Darfur. I do not care about what happens to bunny rabbits. I would wear a fur coat if I ever decide to work 125th street. I want to get from my car to my office and back to my car and back home without being confronted by every touchy feely social cause from save the mosquitoes to the starving Belgian children of South Jersey.

The bottom line is I do not deal in theories. I deal in facts. Islamofacists are trying to kill us. They did crash airplanes into the World Trade Center on 9/11. They want to do so again immediately, and are trying as we speak. Meanwhile, Hollywood celebrities and their followers in this country worry about some theory that thousands of years from now the planet might burn.

I am not willing to say that global warming is fantasy. I am not a scientist, and I consider myself totally uneducated on the subject. This separates me from Al Gore and his ilk in the sense that at least I can admit this.  Anyone who can claim certainty on a topic that is highly disputed and unresolved is getting their information from Almighty God, or in the case of many environmental obsessors, nature. I am not concerned about people talking to God. However, when he starts talking back, and issuing proclamations from the mountaintop, it is time to put the newest John Denver away and leave George Burns be.

Some scientists claim global warming is happening. Other scientists dispute this. In the 1970s it was global cooling, followed by the predicted ice age.  Now as someone who  lived through the New York blizzard of 1978, this scenario is believable. Shoveling snow was agony.  Thank the heavens my dad did it while I stayed inside. The blizzard of 1996 happened while Al Gore was Vice President. Just last week, it was 38 degrees in Chicago. As of this writing, the Mid-Atlantic and New England states are being pounded by a Nor’easter, which usually does not happen after Easter. Snow in April? Sounds blazing hot to me.

The questions involving global warming are as follows. 1) Does it exist? 2) What causes it, human beings or nature itself? 3) Can we do anything to prevent it?

The answer is we just don’t know. Many bright minds respectfully disagree with each other. Many feeble minds take those that agree with them and declare their theories irrefutable dogma.

Al Gore and his Hollywood celebrity friends could stop flying private jets, or using electricity to heat multi-home mansions. Or they could keep quiet so there would be less hot air. Or they could do something useful and find out why it is snowing in April.

I am not saying that those who believe in the doomsday predictions of global warming are wrong. I am concerned that they are so positive that they are right that they are destroying the planet with self-righteous liberal smugness.  Doubt is healthy.

The environment was here long before we arrived, and most likely will be here after we are all gone. To think we could destroy it by using the wrong kind of hair spray is the height of ridiculousness. However, it could be destroyed if Syria’s Assad and Iran’s Armageddonijad get nuclear weapons.

Some might say that the War on Terror and saving the environment are mutually exclusive, and therefore we can care about both. What many liberals do not understand is that resources are finite. When I say resources, I am not talking about trees. I am talking about time and money. Even if global warming is happening, as close as 100 years from now, Al Queda is working against us now. The USA has only so many dollars to operate with. If we have to choose between guns and butter, well then let’s make sure we have the arsenal to protect America’s citizens. Dead people cannot butter their bread.

I will explain this to liberals again. Trees and animals are important, but they are less important than human beings. Some people worry about the Spotted Owl. I worry about the hundreds of families who are hurting because a spouse is out of work due to protests against timber companies.

Some people will argue we have to make things better for the next generation. Fine. Just don’t make me responsible for what might happen to the planet 100 or 1000 years from now.  It is just as annoying as those who want to blame me for what happened 100 or 1000 years ago. It is bad enough God wants to kick my hide for Adam and Eve screwing up a couple million years ago.

So to all of you Hollywood celebrities who are worried that your swimming pool will not be a comfortable 80 degrees, I suggest you move to New York. Now. Today. As for those of you living in the Northeast…watching blue states complain about ice and hail storms while wearing whatever color ribbon is the flavor of the month to protest global warming is insufferable…in fact…dare I say it…verbally toxic.

Ok, off to wrap myself in a blanket. It is freezing. If Al Gore would turn down the heat at his multi-room mansions, he might know this. Maybe he and the rest of his Hollywood celebrity friends can remove their heads from their hides and vow to be more open-minded. Or they could look outside. Yes, it would involve looking beyond themselves, but it doesn’t take a meteorologist to tell me when it is well-diggers-hide-cold outside.

Of course I am not implying that cold weather today disputes global warming. However, when 5 day forecasts are often reduced to 2 day forecasts, asking to predict hundreds of years from now allows for theories, but more error in coming up with hard scientific facts that are completely conclusive.

There are three certainties in life…death…taxes (boy do I detest April 15th)…and uncertainty. Al Gore and his minions would be wise to develop some of the third and stop messing with the second one. Al Queda is busy trying to bring us the first one.

A world without Al Queda…now that would be a warm world I would like to see.

eric

“I’m pretty open minded and usually end up with people that I didn’t fit into a checklist.”

That was written on her Jdate profile. Since the goal of this blog is to elevate the level of discourse in society, rather than lower it, her name and profile number shall remain unidentified. I contacted her, wrote a very pleasant note, and told her that I would be happy to email her pictures of me (I do not post pics on the internet because there are alot of wackos online. It is a privacy/safety issue). I also told her she could check out my blog, where I have a picture of me posted. I woke up the next day to the following email.

“You seem like a really nice guy, but unfortunately, I can’t stand republicans and from your blog, I believe that you are one. It’s probably the ONLY dealbreaker I have.
Best of luck!”

Whether or not this woman is beyond hope is not my focus. I do hope that other people read comments like these and understand that…again…hatred of republicans is no better than hatred of blacks, gays, women, etc…it is ideological bigotry, and it is just as pernicious as racial or any other type of bigotry.

When actress Julia Roberts states that “If you look up the word republican in the dictionary, it falls between repugnant and reptilian,” I can chalk it up to a Hollywood celebrity spouting nonsense, which lately seems redundant.

NY Congressman Charles Rangel claims that conservatives are racists by simply being conservatives. “They used to wear white hoods and yell (insert the s-word for Hispanics and the n-word for blacks. I find those words offensive and choose not to say them of my own free volition). Now they wear blue suits and red ties and say let’s cut taxes.” I find it disgusting that economic theory can be connected to hatred of anyone. Supply side economics cuts the taxes of black people as well. Taxes are race neutral. I can wash away Mr. Rangel’s comments because he is a pandering politician, which again has an ounce of redundancy to it.

What makes the Jdate girl’s “republicans need not apply” attitude worse is because she is Jewish. This does not make the comments by Julia Roberts or Charles Rangel acceptable. They are contemptible remarks. However, there are so few Jewish people in this world. There are many people who want to kill us simply for being Jews. We should be united. This does not mean we have to agree on every issue. Anyone who has sat around a Jewish dinner table knows it is often a charged environment. However, it is one thing to disagree with people. It is another to say you can’t stand them without having met them.

The woman admitted that I came across as a nice guy. Yet she saw I was a republican, and automatically she had to cancel that assessment. The rationale is simple. If a republican could be a nice guy, than maybe republican ideas are not evil. If a good person thinks things, then maybe those things are not as bad as initially suspected.

People are normally not static. They are dynamic. I am a free thinking individual who is not beholden to pre-programmed rigid ideas. There are conservative democrats and liberal republicans.

I am not going to lose sleep over the fact that this woman and I will never meet. To quote rapper and actor ICE-T, “If you don’t like my lifestyle, f*ck you.” What truly concerns me is the fact that this woman represents a larger number of people than some would suspect. If a majority of Jews are liberal, than to say that a plurality might be afflicted with the cancer of ideological bigotry is not a large leap.

The Nazis in World War II did not discriminate between Jews who voted democrat and Jews who voted republican. Neither did the Islamofacists that killed us on 9/11 and then blamed us for it. With over 50% of young Jews not married, we really should not give in to the madness of limiting that pie even further. To quote an old Jewish summer camp song, “To love your fellow Jew…just the same as you…that’s the basis of our Holy Torah.”

The Torah does not tell Jews to hate republicans. Orthodox Jews spend their whole lives reading the Torah, and 70% of them vote republican. They might be on to something. More importantly, they do practice what they preach. They love all people, including all Jews.  They would even reach out to this Jdate woman, and others like her.

Someone should reach out to these people, and explain to them that 6 million of us did not die for them to be unable to stand their fellow Jews, republican or otherwise.

Hineni. Here I am…republican, Jewish and proud always…and tolerant of others.

eric

Normally I am not a fan of internet rumors, but if I start them, then it is ok. I hope these circulate the globe with the help of as many clods as possible.

1) The Academy caved into right wing pressure and decided to help boost moviegoing in red states by giving “Crash” the Oscar by trying to convince as many people in middle America and the South as possible that “Crash” was a movie about NASCAR, the Dale Earnhardt story of his tragic Daytona 500 last race.

2) February used to have 31 days, but then the Republicans made a deal with NAACP to provide for Black History Month provided that the month was shortened to 28 days, with a 29th day in Presidential years to give them an extra day to register voters before the March 1st deadline.

Perhaps I have too much free time, or work has fried my brain, but if enough liberals repeat this stuff as fact, this is where it started.

eric

As someone who is NOT voting for Barack Obama, I am continually amazed at how we build people up and then tear them down. It is no wonder why many do not run.

The problem with Obama is that he has no record of accomplishment. The democrats are so desperate for anybody that can wake people up after the catatonic performances of Al Gore and John Kerry, that they will settle for a nobody like Obama. Yes, his speech at the 2004 convention was incredible. That is not a record of actually doing anything.

Democrats fall into 3 groups:

1) The Bill Clinton group–People who stand for nothing, have no discernible core beliefs, and simply crave power for power’s sake. Bill Clinton was popular because he would wake up, read the polls, and whatever 60% of the people favored, he was for that. It is easy to be liked when you do not try to say or do anything controversial. After the 1994 elections, his remaining 6 years should be known as the “Seinfeld Presidency.” He was peripheral, and thankfully, the country ran itself, with help from Wall St.

2) The Hillary Clinton group—-People who have deep core beliefs, but are scared to death of expressing them for fear the American people will not agree. These people are characterized by Hillary Clinton, Al Gore, John Kerry, and others that simply will not have the guts to say what they are…soulmates of Ted Kennedy. What is the point of winning an election if you have to lie about who you are? Express who you are proudly, and let the chips fall.

An irony to this group is that while so many liberals pretend to be moderates, Howard Dean, who actually governed Vermont like a moderate, ran as a raging lefty because noone else who actually held liberal beliefs was willing to do so.

3) The truthful group–These people stick to their principles, whether they be liberal like Russ Feingold, or moderate like Joe Lieberman. Feingold and Lieberman could not be more different, but at least they take strong positions and stick to them.

Republicans, especially conservative republicans, have it figured out. Even Bush’s fiercest critics know where he stands. He looks you in the eye and says “This is who I am, this is what I believe, this is what I am going to do.”

2008 is already beginning, and the Republicans offer giants like Rudy Giuliani and John McCain. While Mitt Romney did not rescue NY City or spend years as a POW, his saving of the Olympics at Salt Lake City was impressive.

The democrats offer a bunch of liliputians. Hillary is female. Obama is black and speaks well. Edwards is a handsome southern boy. What have they actually done?

Rather than build up nobodies like Obama, the democrats might want to consider somebody like Bill Richardson. He has executive experience, and is not a member of the lunatic wing of the democratic party. The Latino aspect is gravy. He has actual real accomplishments.

Then again, democrats would rather create a myth as they repeat the same desperate game they play every 4 years. John Kerry was a war hero, not an anti-war protester. Al Gore was…well, he was Al Gore…’nuff said. Hillary Clinton is the champion of women everywhere, not the vicious woman who will destroy Obama as she has anyone else who has stood in her way.

If Democrats want to win the White House, they have to get beyond hatred of George W. Bush. If Bush were against killing innocent puppies and kittens, liberals would be in favor of it. This is not a plan for governing. They need to nominate someone who is proud of who they are, be it liberal or moderate. They need to clearly state what they believe, and how they plan to make their beliefs policy achievements, and then they need to fiercely defend their achievements even if there is criticism.

Or they can be empty shells pining for the next Obama while President McCain and/or Giuliani run America until 2016.

Here are some core principles…1) Free Trade works, isolationism does not.

2) Al Queda, Iran and Syria should be b*tchslapped, and there is no political solution to dealing with lunatics. The question is when to militarily break them in half, not if.

3) Big business is not evil, it employs people and drives the American economic engine.

4) Low taxes benefit society, high taxes and regulation do not.

Whether you agree or not, until democrats can take 3 or 4 beliefs and express them, despite this last election, they will remain drugged and irrelevant, chasing the Obama dragon.

eric

While every presidential candidate at some point talks about uniting people, divisions occur because different people have different needs, and candidates have scarce resources that they must use wisely to get elected. Turning out the party faithful and persuading those on the fence becomes more important than trying to win over those who are on the opposite side. Reaching 50.1% and 270 electoral votes means ignoring large swaths of people. Metrics becomes more important than human beings.

James A. Baker III is supposed to have once said “F*ck the Jews. They don’t vote for us anyway.” Apparently he did not notice that in 1992, Republican Senator Alfonse Damato won his reelection 51-49% by capturing 40% of the Jewish vote against a Jewish democratic opponent. This may seem astounding, but the democrat stood up and announced he was Jewish. The Italian Damato was not Jewish, but he was fantastic on Jewish issues. That was, as Jews say on Passover, Dayenu (sufficient).

This brings us to the black community. There is a segment of republicans who believe that talking to black Americans is a waste of time. Why waste time and money on people who will not listen? The answer is because 1) it is the right thing to do…2) Maybe some of them will listen. Doing the right thing does not guarantee success, but doing the wrong thing does guarantee failure.

I have often thought about what I would say to a black church congregation if I were running for President. I would start out by telling them two very hard truths. As a republican, I don’t need them to get elected. Republicans have been getting elected without them. However, I do need them to govern effectively. If people feel they are not being represented, the whole system can collapse. I would then tell them that they have every right to be suspicious, followed by a startling admission.

The republican party screwed up on the biggest issue of the 20th century. Yes, Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves, and the republican party was rewarded for it with large shares of the black vote for a long time. Then we changed…and for the worse. We were wrong on civil rights. Richard Nixon’s 1972 “Southern Strategy,” was successful in the short run, but it breeded a suspicion among blacks towards republicans that exists 35 years later. I can say that the republicans might be right on so many things, but you have to get the big things right. My party didn’t.

I would then tell the audience that while I do not expect them to agree with me or even trust me, at least hear me out. Give me a chance. I would tell them that right now republicans do not talk to blacks, and democrats take them for granted because they have no other alternatives. I would tell them that if the black community was split 50/50, every politician in America would be fighting for their votes. It is starting to happen in the Jewish community. Although Jews are 75% democrats, it used to be 85%. The Jewish vote, especially among young people, is starting to be fought over. Every voter should be fought over. Then I would drop a bombshell on the audience.

I would tell them that rather than give them a stump speech, I would devote 90% of the time to questions. Nothing was out of bounds. They could ask anything they wanted, and be given honest answers. I would also tell them that unlike guilty white liberals, I would not tell them what they wanted to hear. Some of my responses would make them angry. However, some of my responses might pleasantly surprise them.

The room might not be happy that I do not like Al Sharpton or Jesse Jackson. They would be happy that I would not get rid of affirmative action because we are not where we need to be. I would make the argument that things are getting better, that there has been progress. Some people say everything is fine. It isn’t. Others say nothing has changed. Yes, it has. The truth is alot of good has happened, and we have more work to do to make it better.

We could talk about police brutality, racial profiling, welfare reform, education reform, the response to Katrina…everything would be on the table. I would ask them about examples of programs they have seen in their communities that have worked, and more importantly, what has not worked.

Then I would tell them that they are bigger kingmakers than they realize. President Bush got reelected in 2004 because of black America. This may seem shocking, but Ohio decided the election. President Bush’s share of the black vote increased from 9% to 16%. This may not seem like much, but it decided the election. In the black communities, churches hold alot of power. Several influential ministers who voted for Clinton and Gore liked Bush’s faith based initiatives.

The bottom line is that it might take another 30-40 years to undo the damage of Richard Nixon’s Southern Strategy, not to mention the anger in black communities over Katrina. Republicans can either give up, which will only reinforce these perceptions of uncaring, or fight for every vote.

If we win elections but face a large number of Americans who hate their government, we have won the battle but lost the war. The goal is to improve society, which happens when everybody has a shot to be better off.

Some black Americans look at republicans and say “why should we listen?” Some republicans look at blacks and say “why should we talk to them?”

The answer is because those who talk to each other and listen learn, grow and understand more. They are better off. We cannot walk a mile in another’s shoes, but we can hear their stories and find common ground.

The betterment of society is worth fighting for. Republicans need to go into every community. We will have to take our medicine. The democrats took theirs from the 1860s through the 1960s. Change takes time and requires patience. When some black Americans question if we care, at least we can say “We are here.” It is not enough just to show up, but it is a much better starting point than giving up.

We have much work to do. Let’s roll up our sleeves, get to work, and start having honest conversations, with anything and everything open for discussion.

eric

As Al Queda plots our demise, we worry about Don Imus. While this will hopefully become a non-story in a short amount of time, it seems everyone except those connected to Anna Nicole Smith and Natalee Holloway have an opinion.

What led to Don Imus’s downfall was not that his words were filled with invective. It is that he attacked specific people who were not what society would consider “fair game.”

When John Edwards went after Dick Cheney in the 2004 Vice Presidential debate, it was standard politics. The same was true for when John Kerry did the same. When Kerry and Edwards went after his daughter Mary Cheney, they crossed the line. Whether or not it was a cheap political stunt or a genuine attempt to show how Mr. Cheney loves his daughter (I believe the former), many voters were turned off. Mary Cheney was not fair game. She was not in the political arena. She was a private citizen who was entitled to be left alone.

Rush Limbaugh (who I admit to admiring, although I have not heard his program in years since I only have a 10 minute morning commute) fiercely went after Bill and Hillary Clinton with regards to their policies. I supported him in this case. When he made fun of Chelsea Clinton’s physical appearance, he crossed the line. Chelsea was a kid, and from what I observed, a pretty good kid who has blossomed into a lovely woman. This does not make me like the politics of her parents one bit. However, unless she enters the political arena, she should be left alone.

This brings us to Imus, and the comparison to Snoop Dogg (in my day he was Snoop Doggy Dogg, but I am not an expert on that issue). Yes, there are times when I need an interpreter or subtitles to understand Snoop Dogg. In addition, I confess to liking him. I can’t help it. The guy is funny and personable. His commercial where he golfs with Lee Iacocca is hilarious (Fo-Shizzle Ikeazizzle). Yet beneath the humor is a guy who makes a very valid point. His music may be misogynistic, but he does not target specific individuals. I am not endorsing misogyny, but it is significantly less harmful than attacking specific individuals. In addition, attacking celebrities is less bad than attacking private citizens. Hollywood celebrities give up a certain amount of privacy. In exchange for fortune, fame and the platform to make endless moronic comments, the public has a right to respond.

These basketball players did not do anything that would put them in the public arena. They were college female athletes living anonymous lives. When private citizens, such as the “9/11 Widows” made campaign commercials, they entered the public arena (Whether or not Ann Coulter crossed the line is not the issue. The women became public). These college basketball players never did that.

It is one thing to question whether or not our government performed well in the wake of tragedies such as 9/11 and Katrina. It is another to attack the victims of 9/11 as “Little Eichmanns,” as Ward Churchhill did. Innocent victims are exactly that…innocent.

Al Sharpton has made a career out of defaming people. As awful as his anti-semitic comments over the years have been (As a conservative republican, I can call Sharpton and Jesse Jackson racists and anti-semites without living in fear as guilty white liberals would), his biggest transgression was defaming Steven Pagones. Mr. Pagones was a private citizen who had no desire to be famous, nor any desire to be slandered.

When Rosie O’Donnell attacked Donald Trump, a media war was born. We took sides (Trump was right, she was Rosie Queen of Morona). When Rosie O’Donnell blamed the U.S. for knowing about 9/11 in advance, she crossed the line. While President Bush is absolutely fair game (although one cannot begin to count the number of times the democrats have gone overboard in defaming him), to dishonor the memories of those who died is an attack on their families, whether intended or not. I doubt Rosie wanted to hurt their families, but intent is not the issue. Imus probably did not intend to hurt those women…but he did.

Asking people not to attack anybody or anything is asking too much. Some people deserve to be attacked, such as the Catholic Priests molesting little boys (although blaming all of Catholicism is way beyond the bounds of decency). Value judgments require that sometimes we stand up and criticize bad behavior, which can be subjective (although defending NAMBLA would by most normal standards be highly appropriate).

In addition, people should not laugh at others if they do not have the ability to laugh at themselves. Don Rickles, Chris Tucker, Ronald Reagan (rest his soul), David Letterman, and the guys at Blue Collar TV are masters at poking fun at themselves. Self-deprecation is humanizing. Howard Stern has crossed many lines, but one reason he is not in the same position as Don Imus is because he is ruthless on himself, attacking his own many foibles and insecurities. Stern is perceived as “tough but fair.” Imus is in this instance perceived as “mean.”

What we need to do is keep our comments to those who enter what Rush Limbaugh calls the “Arena of Ideas.” If people choose to stay outside of the arena, leave them be. I think Al Gore is an inviting target for so many reasons. The drunk driving episode involving his son is not one of them. The Bush twins should not pay for their father’s transgressions as a youth. John Edwards is a pretty boy model and a trial lawyer ambulance chaser, but he has suffered two tragedies no one should ever have to go through (the death of his son and the cancer of his wife…we all pray for Elizabeth).

If we do not draw lines, then good people will stay out of the spotlight. Colin Powell declined to run for President, in part because stories of his wife Alma’s depression were starting to surface. Alma zealously guarded her privacy, and was absolute right to do so.

I worry about blogging, because if my blog becomes popular, I might become a popular figure. Given that I have had very few good hair days since 1985, I would rather stay a lovable person adored by a precious few, and hopefully reviled by even fewer.

Then again, if I get rich, attack me all you want. As Bill Murray said in Kingpin “I’m rich. What the hell do I care?” Ok, time to watch BET and check out Bizzatches and Hos. Ok, who am I kidding? None of these women would go out with me. One day I will golf with Snoop Doggy Dogg. I better by a “Blinglish to English” dictionary so I can understand him.

Until then, Good-Bizzle Imusizzle (I have no idea what I just said). Down with Player Haters everywhere.

eric

Many of you over the last couple years have gone onto the internet or turned on the television and typed or heard the following words…

Natalie Holloway. Scott Peterson. Anna Nicole Smith. Don Imus. Rosie O’Donnell. Michael Richards. Al Sharpton. Jesse Jackson. Simon Cowell. Duke Lacrosse Players.  Michael Jackson. Madonna’s adoption. Bennifer. Brangelina. Tomkat. Vinnifer Vaughniston. Inside Edition. Access Hollywood. Entertainment Tonight. Barbra Streisand. Tim Robbins. Susan Sarandon. Sean Penn. Whoopi Goldberg. J Lo. K-Fed. Britney Spears. Mel Gibson. Mike Nifong. Joy Behar. Joe Wilson. Valerie Plame. Paris Hilton. Sasha Borat Cohen. Tara Reid. Lindsay Lohan’s dad. Howard K. Stern.

Now that I have your attention, if any of you care about any 3 of the items mentioned above, you are an imbecile. You are contributing to the decline of society. We are in the middle of World War III with Islamofacists, and you want to waste time with nonsense.

I am not concerned with Sanjaya. I am concerned with Bashar Assad and Armageddonijad. I am not concerned with Barack Obama in a bathing suit. Personally, I am not concerned with Barack Obama in any suit, because until he talks about what to do about Osama Bin Laden and hot pursuit he is Barack Obama the empty suit. I do not care about the View. With apologies to Winston Churchhill, never have so many…especially women…cared so much…about stuff that mattered so little. Even Fox News is dumbing down its brand with “Redeye,” where the main comedy gag is a correspondent talking to his mother, which was hilarious when David Letterman did it ages ago. I am so disgusted that nonsense like Redeye is on the air that I cannot even overlook the fact that Julia Allison and Rachel Marsden are drop dead gorgeous. How these two bright women force themselves to lower their intellect to do the topics they are given…but it’s not their fault.

Barbara Walters once interviewed Menachem Begin. Now she is fascinated by Paris Hilton.  Greta Van Susteren has an intelligent outlook on issues that mean zero. I can only imagine how great she would be if she did hard news. Heck, even Geraldo gets it, for crying out loud. Once ridiculed as the idiot behind Al Capone’s vaults and the victim of a Bobby Knight style chair throw, he now reports from Iraq. It is never to late to be taken seriously, or at least to try.

While it is tempting to blame many of the above topics, some are blameless. Natalie Holloway did not deserve to go missing, nor did the Duke lacrosse players deserve to be tried and convicted without going to court. Nevertheless, these people are not as important as Stephen Harper, Angela Merkel, or Nicholas Sarkozy. If you have no idea who they are, please leave this Earth because you are using up valuable air, and in some cases, television or internet air time.

The American public has got to stop lowering itself. We can become intelligent human beings again. George W. Bush is waging a Global War on Terror. We cannot do anything to help if we spend our time worrying about the fact that some Hollywood Celebrity who won some award because he almost became President except he lost his home state of Tennessee tells us that in thousands of years after we are all dead it might become warm outside (It is currently 38 degrees in April in Chicago).

Some people say that escapism is a good way to unwind, that we cannot focus on hard news all the time. This is a copout. People who spend their time on soft news usually know nothing else. I can watch Eva Longoria traipse around in her underclothing, but I would be embarrassed to see that reported as a news story while Nancy Pelosi is trying to undermine our government in a time of war.

There is a medical procedure that I will refer to as “cranial-glutial extraction surgery.” It is a procedure where people have their heads removed from their hides.

Some will say it is good that after 9/11 we have gotten back to normal. Worrying about possible hijinks on American Idol is not getting back to normal. It is complacency.

I enjoyed seeing Will Ferrell in “Blades of Glory.” I loved “Old School.” I liked “Anchorman.” Going to a movie is escapism. When I come home after a hard day’s work, I want to know if the world I live in is about to be blown to kingdom come. I do not want Anchorman’s Ron Burgundy telling me about how a space alien and a baby panda mated and produced Al Sharpton, who by the way is related to Strom Thurmond, which is about as important to society as me being the 164,000th cousin of Adam by birth and Eve by marriage.

Rather than start a debate about eugenics, I will ask my fellow Americans to either stop spending time focusing on nonsense, or voluntarily promise not to reproduce. It is important you learn where babies come from so that you can keep this promise. Otherwise, your children will be worse because stupidity is exponential.

We are at war. Iran is plotting to destroy the world, and bringing Anna Nicole back from the dead will not prevent this.

If we are to win the War on Terror, we must declare a war on nonsense. We cannot kill every Al Queda terrorist if our citizens are busy killing their brain cells.

Americans are can do people. We have the ability to be intelligent again. There is a place for nonsense, but it should be the exception, not the rule.

As I pray to God at night, I pray for America to win the war on nonsense, so that Americans can focus on how to help win the War on Terror.

eric

Ideological Bigotry has got to stop. Now. This instant. 6 million Jews died in the Holocaust, and many of their descendants resort to the same dehumanizing hate speech that led to those glorious summer camps of concentration.

What many Jewish liberals fail to understand is that dehumanizing anyone is bigotry. These “enlightened” and “tolerant” people would cringe if bad words were said about gays, blacks, women, or other “accepted” groups. Disaparaging remarks about conservatives are said without the slightest regard for those people, who, shockingly enough, medical science has discovered, are actual human beings with feelings and emotions.

Yes, I am one ticked off conservative. Trying to make the world a better place can be trying indeed. Suggesting I just “let things go” is like telling a black man to just ignore the remarks that the Klan make. They can continue with their lives, but silence is acquiescence. Ignoring bigotry is tolerating it.

A woman said to me yesterday that “the reason there are very few Jewish Republican women, because Jewish women are charitable, giving, loving, accepting, and believe in freedom of speech, equal rights, abortion rights, gay rights, etc. The GOP represents none of the things we hold dear. Sorry.”

Who is this “we,” Kimosabe? So only democrats are accepting, loving, and charitable? Are you kidding me? As for “accepting,” this woman does not seem to have much acceptance for republicans. The word “accepting,” is apparently like the word “unilaterally,” or “is” is. It means whatever the liberal wants it to mean, at any given moment.

As for the things “we” hold dear, I hold dear that we are fighting World War III against Islamofacists. I care more about that than any other issue.  Republicans are, according to this woman, against equal rights and freedom of speech. If we were, President Bush would have the publisher of the NY Times thrown in jail (not a bad idea, but that is for another column).

So let me now teach Jewish liberals some manners (at this point they will go and find examples of conservative bad behavior since that is easier than taking an introspective look inside themselves and making actual human improvements). It is ok to ask someone “Why are you a republican?” or “Why did you vote for President Bush?” It is NOT ok to ask someone “How in good conscience can you be a republican or Vote for President Bush?” It is not ok to ask “How can you justify being a republican or voting for President Bush?”

This is where I want to rip their liberal throats out to simply stop them from speaking this nonsense. Where does anyone get off questioning what is in someone else’s heart? How in good conscience? Because my conscience is just as pure as yours. How can I justify? I do not have to justify.

Conservatives do not do this, especially not Jewish conservatives. We “disagree” with liberals, often fiercely and passionately. We do not despise them. We do not call them evil. 

A Rabbi of mine, who I consider a dear friend, will sometimes introduce me as his “republican friend.” On more than one occasion at dinner parties he has said to people sitting next to me “This is Eric. He is a republican, but he is a good guy.” Those qualities are not mutually exclusive. Replace the word “republican” with the word “gay,” or “Mormon,” and the point becomes clear. Now this Rabbi is not in any way a bigot. He is a very good person. Yet those types of remarks are insensitive.

Some people I know will introduce me to someone by stating my political views. This is either to warn the other person, or start a conflict. This turns a potential friendship into potential acrimony. 

So let me describe who I am clearly. First and foremost I am a human being, a creature of God. After that I am an American and a Jew. Way down the list I am a republican, of which I am proud, as with being American and Jewish. I am also a football fan, a lover of rock music, and a stock market lover.

The point is I am many things, and to define me by one element is shortsighted, and yes, dehumanizing. If a homosexual likes football, does that make him less valid to watch the NFL on my couch on a Sunday? Of course not.

What Jewish liberals need to do is admit they have biases. Admit that they are often insensitive, myopic, and sometimes, downright vicious. They have to promise to change.    

The reason I continue to verbally club liberals over the head is because I cannot and will not sit back and allow 1930s German behavior to infect my religion. We have a museum of tolerance. It is does not describe exceptions. It does not say “tolerance of those who are politically liberal.”

So how can Jewish liberals change? SImple. Look in the mirror, think of how you view conservatives, and picture me knocking you upside the head saying “knock it off!” This would be the best way to deal with klansmen, terrorists, and hatemongers everywhere.

So dear Jewish liberals…I don’t want to get to the root causes of why you hate conservatives. I could care less. Just stop being hateful. Now. As for you liberals, especially Jewish liberals, who are honestly not ideological bigots…when you hear your friends being bigoted…tell them to stop.

Martin Luther King Jr. stated that when good people do nothing, evil is allowed to flourish. He was right then, and his words are right now. All forms of bigotry must stop. Ideological bigotry must be defeated. It is my hope that the descendants of Holocaust survivors will change their ways and become better people.

I am a human being, and I expect to be treated as one…especially by my own people. I will not give an inch on this. It defines me. It is the core of who I am. Hineni. Here I am…Jewish, conservative, proud…and here to stay.     

eric