Archive for 2008

2008 New Hampshire Debate–Democrats

Sunday, January 6th, 2008

The democrats had the debate they should have had ages ago, without the annoying nuisances of the smaller candidates. In the same way the republicans could not eliminate Rupaul, the democrats had to deal with Bill Richardson, although at least he is respectful.

Charlie Gibson got the debate off to a very intelligent start by bringing up the issue of nuclear terrorism. I was expecting the big 3 to blame President Bush without stating what they would do. They were asked how aggressively they would go after Al Queda.

Barack Obama reiterated that he would go into Pakistan without their permission if necessary. It was a flub then, and still is. Obama insisted that Tom Kean and Lee Hamilton, heads of the 9/11 Commission, stated the same thing. He said we could lock down loose nuclear weapons in 4 years. When the moderator told Obama he was basically supporting the Bush Doctrine, he insisted this was not the case, and then did not say why.

John Edwards would lead a long term initiative to rid the world of nuclear weapons. I believe he would click his heels together 3 times and call it 1940.

Bill Richardson stated that going into Iraq inflamed the Muslim world. He bashed President Bush and Pervez Musharraf. He stated we should ask Musharraf to step aside. This is the dumbest idea out there, which says a lot for the democrats. Going after Musharraf is irresponsible, and wrong. Richardson did not state what he would do if Musharraf decided not to fire himself.

Hillary Clinton spoke of trying to targeting Bin Laden in 1998. She is full of garbage, but at least comes across as an adult. She stated that we need more NATO troops, and Predator weapons. She stated that removing Musharraf could have consequences that could hurt America in terms of who replaces him. She then stated that President Bush walked away from Afghanistan.

Richardson continued to insist that we remove Musharraf. He was still wrong.

Obama stated that Iraq was “a distraction and a war of choice.” He stated that we have to get Pakistan’s agreement before we act, contradicting his own comments from several minutes earlier.

The candidates were asked what we would do the day after a nuclear attack, and what should have been done to prevent it.

Edwards stated that our immediate response is to find out who attacked us, and go get them. He then stated the President must react calmly.

Obama stated that retaliation is a must, but that we must rebuild the Nuclear Proliferation Treaty.

Clinton stated that there should be one person responsible for marshaling resources. She mentioned port security issues, but did not say what she would do about it. She then stated that we will go after safe havens, which makes me wonder how she can repeat the Bush Doctrine while disagreeing with him.

Richardson stated that he was responsible for securing stockpiles while he was Energy Secretary. He would immediately seek negotiations with the Soviet Union, which actually does not exist anymore. He then spoke about reducing greenhouse gases, which has nothing to do with reacting to an act of war against us. Richardson supports realism and human rights. So he would help people worldwide but not be ready for an attacking against America.

The candidates were then asked about the concept of change, and how Obama according to Hillary needs to be vetted.

Hillary had been doing well up to this point, but she blathered on this one. She then stated that Obama could have a debate with himself, especially on health care. She stated she has no problem with scrutiny towards her.

Obama stated that the AP people who made the vetting comments were quoting Hillary campaign workers. Obama explained his health care plan is different from Hillary and Edwards in that the people he meets simply cannot afford health care. Obama rejects the idea that people will refuse to cover themselves voluntarily. He is wrong, but it was a respectful disagreement. On payroll taxes are out of wack, but Obama cited Warren Buffett, who is supporting Hillary.

Hillary stated that Obama does not go far enough because there are only mandates for covering children, not all people. She stated that Obama went after Edwards for changing positions, and then listed Obama’s changes on issues such as the Patriot Act.

Obama reiterated that mandating health care for children is necessary because they have no choice. He meekly stated that Hillary was distorting his record, and that his method of reaching out is why they liked him in Iowa.

Edwards wisely stated he and Obama are agents for change, which brings out attacks from the forces of status quo, aka Hillary. Edwards hit hard by stating that Hillary did not attack when she was ahead, but is now because she is losing.

Hillary again mentioned that change is about working hard, not just talking about it. She angrily responded that she has made change for 35 years. She looked like she was on the verge of a meltdown.

Richardson stated that he has been through hostage negotiations thatw ere more civil than this. He spoke in a very conciliatory manner. He stated that experience is a good thing, and that his being a governor, giving health care to kids under 12, balancing budgets, etc, were positive things. His head was far up Hillary’s hindquarters, angling for the VP slot.

Edwards stated that they had differences on how to fight the middle class, and that entrenched special interests stand in the way of change. He stated that not all corporations are bad, that Costco and AT & T were good because they were unionizing.

Obama spoke of his helping to pass ethics reform, and that voters want transparent government, and are tired of being told falsehoods. The change he wants is for government to be more responsive.

Charlie Gibson then shocked the entire room by announcing that many signs indicate that the surge has worked. He is now the best moderator of the entire campaign, forcing candidates to deal with tough realities that conflict with their world view. He challenged the candidates to state that the surge has worked, reminding Clinton that she stated a “willful suspension of disbelief would be required for that.”

Hillary blamed the Iraqi political situation for negating the surge, stating that 23 dead Americans in December meant we should bring the troops home. She did not see any reason why they should remain beyond today. She would start bringing them home within 60 days of taking office.

Richardson called the Iraq situation a massive failure. He stated that nobody has participated in a regional solution, which is totally false. He then switched to domestic policy, stating the war should be ended within one year, leaving no troops behind.

Obama stated that we lowered the bar for success. He reiterated his opposition to the war from the beginning. He stated that all the surge did was reduce violence to levels of two years ago, but could not state it worked. He even had the audacity of (something) to state that the democrats winning in 2006 reduced the violence. He was now tied with Richardson for the stupidest debate comment.

Edwards stated that he would listen to military generals, but that we should pull out anyway. That was a head scratcher. Then again, he is a double talking trial lawyer. He would pull 40-50,000 troops immediately. They would all be out within 9-10 months, but he would listen to the generals. He said we must end the occupation.

Richardson said you had to get everybody out, before there could be political reconciliation. He kept rambled about domestic issues, when the question asked about foreign policy.

Hillary offered platitudes, but looked cerebral and sensible in doing so. She spoke about the translators and others that helped. She then stated that President Bush was not planning for withdrawal. She is right about him, and he is right for staying.

When Hillary was asked about being “double teamed” by Obama and Edwards, she cackled, which she does when she is angry. She was asked about why people like Obama and Edwards more than her.

She replied, “That hurts my feelings…but I will try to go on. I do not think I am that bad.”

Obama replied, “I think you’re likable enough.”

She then calmly laced into President Bush, and offered her 35 years of experience. She stated she liked and respected Obama and Edwards, but that she stands by her record. She states that she embodies change, and that being the first woman President is change.

Obama was then asked a softball. The republicans were asked what he thought of him, and he was asked what he thought of them.

He calmly replied that he was alternating between the republicans and football. The moderator tried to test him by asking how the Redskins did. He replied that they lost. Had he not known, he would have been caught lying, so it was a good save. It made him look human. He then stated that the republicans would all continue the policies of George W. Bush, and he disagrees with them all.

Asked about Thompson calling him a liberal, Obama stated that any democrat would face that barrage. He stated that people are losing faith in government and politicians, and he can create a working majority to actually get things done.

Richardson was asked if prior experience is necessary. Richardson stated it was important. He balanced budgets, lowered taxes, among other things. Whether this is true is irrelevant. He is the only Governor on stage. He is the only one that has negotiated with foreign governments, had the highest national security clearance, and dealt with the North Koreans.

The moderator asked if Richardson could get things done now when he couldn’t as Energy Secretary since the problems are worse now. Richardson listed his accomplishments, but they were standard work of a cabinet secretary. He then went into what we should do, glo0ssing over what he failed to do. He praised Al Gore, and stated he was glad Gore stayed out of the race. Richardson said that relative youth was not a disqualifier because JFK was young, and JFK helped us get a man to the moon.

Edwards refused to go after Obama’s youth and inexperience. He then went into his standard stump speech about corporate lobbyists. He again mentioned his father the mill worker, even though his father owned the mill. When asked about his empty Senate record, he spoke about the Patients Bill of Rights in 2002, which he shepherded right after the democrats briefly took over the Senate. He said the bill was written by him, Ted Kennedy and John McCain.

I guess he is trying to destroy the McCain campaign by praising him. Also, even if Edwards is not believable to some, he believes what he is saying, or at least looks like it.

When Obama stated that he had put restrictions on lobbyists in terms of meals, the moderator pointed out that the law said they could not eat sitting down, but could eat standing up. Obama meekly pointed out that people eat less when standing, but it was a very weak response. Edwards defended Obama, enjoying the tag team against Hillary.

Obama again emphasized the need to have a working majority.

Hillary, again angrily, stated that the evening needed a “reality break.” The bill Edwards spoke about never became law. Edwards stated that the President vetoed it, but nevertheless, it did not pass, so nothing was done. “Words are not action,” and Edwards did not get things done.

Hillary stated that Obama had a lobbyist as his New Hampshire campaign chair, which he disputed. When asked if she can do what Obama and Edwards cannot, she replied “absolutely.” She stated what she worked on, but none of it actually passed, so she was the exact same as Edwards on this issue.

Charlie Gibson stated that they all claimed change, but nothing got done. All 4 candidates tried to shout over each other to speak first.

Hillary stated that she fought with her husband to raise taxes on the wealthy and corporations.

Edwards railed about corporations strangling the middle class. He then cited Teddy Roosevelt as a trust buster.

Obama praised Bill Clinton for balancing budgets, but that it did not lead to a working majority to get things done beyond that. Words do matter, because words can inspire people, and while he does use lofty rhetoric, it does make people feel better, which does matter. The point was valid.

Richardson again did everything but recommend that the group all hug. His cabinet would be diverse, but he “would not overdo the republicans.” Richardson makes the audience laugh. He is likable. He is also irrelevant.

Edwards…again…went after moneyed special interests. These people “cannot be niced to death.” He then praised Obama and Richardson, leaving out Hillary.

Bringing up global warming, the candidates were asked if they were against a carbon tax because it was a bad idea or political suicide. AL Gore and Chris Dodd favor it.

Richardson said it was a bad idea because it was not a mandate, and gets passed on to consumers, hurting the economy. Cap and trade is better because it is a mandate.

Obama agreed with Richardson and said that he proposed the cap and trade system, and that a 100% auction was necessary. Obama politely disagreed that there were costs to cap and trade in terms of retrofitting, which would be passed on to consumers.

I had no idea what either of them were talking about, but they sounded believable.

Obama insisted that the sacrifices would benefit us in the long run.

Hillary stated that the economy is slipping into recession. She is wrong, but she is not an economist. She said we have to require utilities to move towards conservation. I am not sure how she can force them to do this. We also need a low income heating oil program. She did not say how she would pay for it.

Charlie Gibson stated that consumers spend America out of recessions, and before he could mention why raising taxes was bad, Hillary jumped in. In fact, Gibson stated that two professors could make a combined $200,000, and they would get hit by the higher taxes on the supposed “wealthy.”

Hillary stated that George W. Bush’s tax cuts did not help the middle class. Yes they did, I am living proof.

Edwards used wildly inflated numbers to describe the destitute situation in America, and that trade deals are bleeding America. Edwards stated that 20-30 million people could lose their jobs in the next few years, especially college graduates. I am not sure if we even have that many college graduates. He stated the income gap is widening.

Obama offered a glimmer of honesty by stating that some of these problems preceded George. W Bush. Obama would close loopholes and havens. This is not original, but Edwards and Hillary were blatantly lying, and he was not.

Richardson for the Milli Vanillionth time mentioned his executive experience. He mentioned the line item veto, which was ruled unconstitutional. He stated we needed to invest more in math and science, pointing out that education was not dealt with in the debate. He stated that China and India are graduating many more engineers.

Charlie Gibson was fabulous, but the last question was lame. He asked the candidates what statements, if any, in past debates, they would take back.

Hillary ignored the question and attacked republicans. She stated the democrats actually talked about issues during the debates.

Richardson actually answered the question. He stated that he admired Byron WHite, who Kennedy appointed. He then found out Byron White was against civil rights and Roe vs Wade. He said he was totally wrong.

Edwards was wrong about teasing Hillary about her jacket in the past.

Obama danced around the question and offered platitudes. Obama is as Obama does. Actually, he does not do, but he says stuff.

While all the candidates are disasters on policy, debates are about performance. Obama was crisp and cool most of the time, but had a major foreign policy gaffe.

Richardson rambled, kissed rumpus, and repeatedly emphasized his experience, but he also had a major foreign policy gaffe as well.

Hillary was winning the first half of the debate, but her angry response midway through the debate should be seen as a meltdown. Whether the liberal media lets her off the hook for it, time will shortly tell. George Stephanopoulis noticed it. She looked angry.

John Edwards was his snake oil salesman self, but again, debates are about performance. He made no mistakes.

John Edwards won this debate.

Charlie Gibson gets a phenomenal review for asking tough questions, and being respectful. He was the best moderator in all of the debates.

eric

NFL 2007–2008 Wildcard Recap

Saturday, January 5th, 2008

Playoffs? Are you kidding me? Playoffs? Don’t talk to me about playoffs. Playoffs? We’ll be lucky if we win another game.

Jim Mora will live forever, and after 17 weeks, the NFL Playoffs are back. Enjoy it now, because after the Pro Bowl, there is a 7 month layoff. Layoffs? Are you kidding me?

All four of the road teams had a reasonable shot at winning their Wildcard games. I predicted Washington to lose at Seattle, despite riding a wave of emotion and a four game winning streak. Jacksonville, despite being a better team than Pittsburgh, will find it is tough to demolish a team twice in three weeks on the road. Nevertheless, Pittsburgh is depleted, and Jacksonville should win. Tennessee has what it takes to upset San Diego, and Jeff Fisher is a better coach than Norv Turner. Even if Vince Young can’t go, Kerry Collins will get the job done for Tennessee. New York is a much better team than Tampa Bay, so if Eli Manning does not have meltdown, always a big if, New York should have little difficulty.

Never mind. Playoffs do not require hyperbole, and my analysis is worthless. It’s game time! Let’s get it on!

Washington Redskins @ Seattle Seahawks–Early on the Seahawks won the battle of field position, and after starting a drive in Washington territory, Matt Hasselbeck’s passing and Sean Alexander’s running got Seattle into the red zone. Leonard Weaver ran it in from 17 yards out with 3:45 left in the opening quarter for a 7-0 Seattle lead. Twice in the first half, Washington began drives from inside their own 5 yard line, and this was the difference. Josh Brown connected on a 50 yard field goal with 9 minutes left in the half to extend the Seahawks lead to 10-0. Another field goal had the Seahawks up 13-0 after three quarters, but despite controlling the game, it was well within reach.

On the first play of the fourth quarter, Todd Collins threw a short touchdown pass to Antwaan Randle El, closing the gap to 13-7. After a Matt Hasselbeck interception, Washington started at the Seattle 42 yard line. Todd Collins, who has been on fire in the fourth quarter the last few games, went up top to Santana Moss for another touchdown and a 14-13 Redskins lead with 12 1/2 minutes remaining.

The next play of the game was bizarre. The kickoff was shallow, but the wind carried it past all the Seattle return men. Nobody was back far enough to field it, and the Redskins recovered it as if it were an onsides kick all the way at the Seattle 14 yard line. The opportunity was completely wasted when a 30 yard field goal was no good. Yet despite a promising drive, Hasselbeck was intercepted for a second time in the fourth quarter by Landry, this time at the Washington 9 yard line. As expected, the television cameras showed that Mike Holmgren was not a happy walrus. Under 10 minutes remained, and again Washington had awful field position.

After a 32 yard punt, Seattle started their next drive at the Washington 42 yard line with 8 minutes left. This set up Hasselbeck’s short touchdown pass to Hackett, followed by a successful 2 point conversion toss to Pollard. Seattle had a 21-14 lead with 6 minutes remaining. A strong kickoff return had Washington starting at their own 46 yard line. On the first play from scrimmage, Collins decided to go for all the marbles, and his ill advised deep pass was intercepted by Marcus Trufant. Awful tackling by the Redskins led to Trufant returning the interception 78 yards for a touchdown to ice the game. With 30 seconds left in the game, Babineaux intercepted Collins and returned it 57 yards for another touchdown.

The see-saw game had Seattle dominate for 3 quarters, Washington score twice in 2 minutes, and Seattle score twice in 30 seconds. The missed opportunity for Washington after the kickoff proved fatal. Seattle will travel to Green Bay next week, as Mike Holmgren and Hasselbeck face off against Holmgren’s former team and quarterback Brett Favre. The score will give the appearance of a blowout, but this game was tight after more than 3 1/2 quarters. 35-14 Seahawks.

Jacksonville Jaguars @ Pittsburgh Steelers–Pittsburgh took the opening kickoff 80 yards in 10 plays for a 7-0 lead 5 minutes into the game. Maurice Jones Drew returned the ensuing kickoff 96 yards, getting tripped up at the one yard line. Fred Taylor plunged over the goal line for the tying touchdown. The game then settled into a defensive slugfest as expected, with the tie being broken when Rasheed Mathis intercepting Ben Roethlisberger for a 63 yard touchdown and a 14-7 Jaguars lead 5 minutes into the second quarter.

A Bizarre play occurred when Mathis intercepted Roethlisberger again at midfield. He returned it to the 20 yard line, but the return came back because his hair…yes his hair…was out of bounds. If he had been bald or normally cropped, the rest of him was inbounds. However, his long dreadlocks were on the white chalk. Hair is part of the body. No matter how often I watch football, I learn something new. It did not matter, as David Garrard threw a pass to Maurice Jones Drew, who took it the distance for another touchdown and a 21-7 Jacksonville lead. The Jaguars missed an opportunity to turn the game into a route early when Josh Scobee missed a field goal just before the 2 minute warning. Nevertheless, Roethlisberger was intercepted for a 3rd time just before the end of the half.

In the third quarter, David Garrard was intercepted, and several minutes later, a 28 yard field goal had the Steelers within 21-10. The Jaguars, having beaten Pittsburgh only 3 weeks ago in Heinz Field, remained unrattled. Garrard took the Jaguars 82 yards in 5 minutes on the ensuing drive, and with 4 1/2 minutes left in the third quarter, the Jaguars were comfortably ahead 28-10.

On the first play of the fourth quarter, Pittsburgh faced 4th and 12 at the Jacksonville 37 yard line. A mistackle was the difference between the ball being turned over on downs, and a 37 yard touchdown pass, and a 28-17 ballgame. For some inexplicable reason, Jacksonville tried three straight passes on their next drive, rather than eat some clock. Roethlisberger drove the Steelers on a 10 play 70 yard drive that culminated on a touchdown toss to Heath Miller. A holding penalty nullified the 2 point conversion, and from the 12 yard line, Roethlisberger tried to run it. He got only 9 yards, and the score was 28-23 with 10 1/2 minutes left. Jacksonville kept throwing, and Garrard was intercepted again. Ike Taylor returned the bal all the way to the Jacksonville 16 yard line.

Pittsburgh faced 4th and goal at the one, when a controversial defensive pass interference penalty gave Pittsburgh a fresh set of downs. It was an awful call, as both players were locked up. Najeh Davenport barely broke the plane of the goal, and after another failed 2 point conversion, the Steelers led 29-28 with 6 1/2 minutes left. Yes, the Steelers came back from 28-10, but had they not tried the first 2 point conversion from the 12 yard line, they would not have needed to try the second one. Jacksonville went nowhere on their next drive, and the Steelers got the ball back with 3:43 to play.

Jacksonville held, and got the ball back at midfield with 2:38 to play and one timeout. A pass to the 25 yard line was ruled incomplete, and Jack Del Rio’s ill advised challenge ended up costing Jacksonville their last timeout. On 4th and 2 from the Pittsburgh 43 yard line, David Garrard lined up in the shotgun, and on a designed quarterback draw, executed it to perfection. Garrard ran 32 yards to the 11 yard line. The entire dynamic of the game changed, as Pittsburgh was forced to take a timeout. On 4th down and 1 from the 2 yard line, out of timeouts, Jacksonville took a deliberate delay of game penalty. The 25 yard field goal was good. The Jaguars led by two points with 37 seconds left. Pittsburgh took over at their own 29 yard line with 29 seconds left. On the first play from scrimmage, Roethlisberger was hit, fumbled, and saw the Jaguars fall on it. One kneel down later, and the Jaguars escaped with a win.

I believe the Jaguars are a stronger team, and hopefully they will play New England, and soften them up so that Indy can take them down and blow up their perfect season. Either team would have had to face questions had they lost. Jacksonville dodged questions about why they kept throwing in the fourth quarter instead of running. Pittsburgh instead will have to answer questions about the two point conversions. Mike Tomlin did an excellent job his first year on the job, and Pittsburgh lucked out in selecting him. Both of these teams will be back, and their future matches will be headknockers, featuring hard nosed running, defense, and coaches that preach toughness. Today Jacksonville was a bit better, by one play by David Garrard. 31-29 Jaguars

New York Giants @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers–Decisions made last week during the regular season would be watched closely today in terms of ramifications. The Bucs chose to rest everyone last week, deciding that the # 4 seed was no difference than the # 3 seed. The Giants decided to play their starters in a meaningless game against the Patriots, expending plenty of energy.

Both teams got off to a sluggish start, but Jeff Garcia eventually got Tampa Bay moving, and with two minutes left in the opening quarter, Graham plunged over from a yard out to give the Buccaneers a 7-0 lead. Eli Manning was able to bring the Giants back, and his 5 yard touchdown pass to Brandon Jacobs tied the score at 7-7 with 10 minutes left in the half. Manning settled into a groove, completing 11 of his first 14 passes. With 4 minutes left in the half, Brandon Jacobs barreled up the middle for a 9 yard touchdown run and a 14-7 Giants lead. Michael Spurlock fumbled the opening kickoff of the second half, and the Giants recovered. However, the Tampa Bay defense, still solid under respected defensive coordinator Monte Kiffin, held New York to a field goal and a 17-7 Giants lead five minutes into the third quarter.

While the Giants might be the least flashy team in the playoffs, they slowly but surely got the job done by avoiding mistakes. Eli Manning does not dazzle like his brother, but the goal is to win. He engineered a 15 play, 92 yard drive that ate up over 8 1/2 minutes of clock. The drive culminated with a short touchdown pass to Amani Toomer with 8 minutes remaining that put the game out of reach. Manning has faced much scrutiny this year, but neither he nor anyone else on the Giants turned the ball over against a ball hawking Tampa Bay defense. The Buccaneers scored a garbage touchdown late in the game, but it was not enough to save their season. The final score was close, but the game was not.The Giants, having lost to Dallas twice this year, will get a third shot at their hated division rival next week. 24-14 Giants

Tennessee Titans @ San Diego Chargers–Tennessee has perhaps the best coach in the league in Jeff Fisher. The Chargers have Norvelous Norv Turner, desperate to show he can win a game where his team is overwhelmingly favored.

Tennessee dominated the time of possession in the first quarter, hanging onto the ball for 11 minutes. Their opening drive led to a field goal, and San Diego could not move the ball. With six minutes remaining in the opening quarter, Vince Young got belted to the ground. It was a clean hit, and he did come back in the game, but he is one shot away form having Kerry Collins replace him. The Chargers started a possession at the Tennessee 42, but Philip Rivers went for the deep ball and was intercepted by Cortland Finnegan. Another deep ball attempt by Rivers later on was broken up, and Nate Kaeding’s 45 yard field goal attempt was a knuckleball that went way wide. In a game only a defensive guru could love, Rob Bironas added a second field goal on the last play of the half to put the Titans up 6-0. Then again, Jeff Fisher is a Buddy Ryan disciple, so he might have been loving it.

The Chargers took the second half kickoff and methodically drove down the field. On 3rd and 3 from the 4 yard line, they came up a yard short. Turner made the right decision, and decided to kick the 20 yard field goal, bringing the Chargers to within 6-3. The 88 yard drive took over 5 minutes. Later on in the period, with San Diego at midfield, a personal foul penalty on Albert Haynesworth for hitting Philip Rivers after the whistle had blown proved costly. On the next play, Rivers threw a 35 yard touchdown strike to Vincent Jackson. With 2 1/2 minutes left in the 3rd quarter, the Chargers led 10-6. Tennessee did come right back on their next drive, but one minute into the fourth quarter, Bironas missed a 38 yard field goal.

With 9 minutes left in the game, San Diego had a 3rd and goal that ended up inside the one yard line but short of the goal. Norv Turner challenged that the play was a touchdown. The call went against him, and San Diego was charged with their final timeout. On 4th and goal from inside the one, LaDanian Tomlinson went airborne. Initially he was stoned, but when he got knocked backwards he landed on another player, not all the way on the ground. The whistle had not blown, so he reached over on a second effort and stretched the ball past the plane for a touchdown. This time Jeff Fisher challenged the call, but the touchdown was upheld. Tomlinson was initially stopped, but the whistle had not blown, forward progress had not been stopped, and he was not on the ground. Tennessee was charged with their first timeout, and more importantly, trailed on the scoreboard.

Yes, Norv won where Marty Schottenheimer did not, but Norv survived barely at home against a # 6 seed with a wounded quarterback, while Marty’s team lost to the Patriots, as does everyone else. Next week the Chargers have a rematch with Indy, and we shall see if their lightning bolt strikes twice. I suspect otherwise. 17-6 Colts

Saturday January 12th and Sunday January 13th bring the divisionals.

AFC Divisionals: Jaguars @ Patriots on Saturday, Chargers @ Colts on Sunday.

NFC Divisionals: Seahawks @ Packers on Saturday, Giants @ Cowboys on Sunday.

eric

God Bless Major Andrew Olmsted

Saturday, January 5th, 2008

Today I will be relaxing, watching the NFL Playoffs and the Presidential debates.

Army Major Andrew Olmsted will not have that luxury. He was killed in Iraq on January 3rd, 2008.

He was a military blogger, and I only learned about him an hour ago. People on his blog happened to check out mine. Let’s just say that what he did was far more important than anything I write about.

It is for this reason that I want people to learn everything about this man. He did his job with honor, and he blogged with a humanity that only somebody deeply committed to his situation can write about.

May God bless his family, and may his writings live on forever.

I will go to my grave believing the Iraq War was…and is…the right thing to do.

https://tygrrrrexpress.com/2007/03/the-iraq-war-legally-morally-right-then-now/

Major Olmsted made the world a better place, and his fellow soldiers are still doing so.

With that, I bring you the blogging of Major Andrew Olmsted.

God bless you Major.

http://blogs.rockymountainnews.com/denver/iraqiarmy/archives/2007/06/why.html

http://blogs.rockymountainnews.com/denver/iraqiarmy/archives/2007/12/seeking_support_1.html

eric

Al Queda versus Al Gore

Saturday, January 5th, 2008

Mr. Alex Trebek said the following words: Iowa, New Hampshire, and Britney Spears.

I raised my hand and said, “Alex, what are things that nobody in their right mind should care about, and not worth any media coverage?”

So for those who have Iowa fatigue, there will be plenty of time to over analyze the next set of debates, and more importantly, the NFL Playoffs.

Until then, to quote Paul Simon, (the singer, not the late Senator), “If I can call you Betty, you can call me Al.” This column is dedicated to the only pair of Als that irritate me more than Al Sharpton. Al Queda and Al Gore, compare for yourselves.

http://michellemalkin.com/2008/07/17/limousine-liberal-video-of-the-day-gore-and-his-gas-guzzling-fans-exposed/#comments

Al Queda: Power obsessed individuals that want to destroy the world.

Al Gore: Power obsessed individual that wants to convince Americans that they are destroying the world.

Al Queda: Shave their beards to avoid being captured by U.S. Forces.

Al Gore: Shaved his beard to remain politically viable.

Al Queda: Hates republicans and President Bush, earning a runner up position as Time Magazine’s Person of the Year. He was denied the top position solely due to fear of people canceling their subscriptions.

Al Gore: Hates republicans and President Bush, earning a runner up position as Time Magazine’s Person of the Year. He was denied the top position solely due to fear of people canceling their subscriptions.

Al Queda: The people who knew thm best and initially supported them eventually turned against them, as the surge worked and Sunni Muslims got tired of being murdered.

Al Gore: The people who knew him best and initially supported him turned against him, as a surge of Tennessee votes for George W. Bush cost Al Gore his home state and the election.

Al Queda: Refers to America as the Great Satan, and blames America and President Bush for all the evil in the world.

Al Gore: Blames America for destroying the environment, and maniacally screamed that President Bush betrayed his country.

Al Queda: Tried to overthrow a fledgling democracy in Iraq by any means necessary, with 10,000 suicide bombers.

Al Gore: Tried to overturn an election in an established democracy by any means necessary, with 10,000 lawyers.

Al Queda: Bin Laden’s own family has distanced themselves from him.

Al Gore: His former boss President Clinton has distanced himself from him.

Al Queda: Recruits suicide bombers over the internet.

Al Gore: Invented the internet.

Al Queda: Against waterboarding.

Al Gore: Against waterboarding.

Al Queda: Uses murderers such as Khalid Sheik Mohammed to intimidate others to drop their opposition to him.

Al Gore: Used murderer Willie Horton to intimidate Michael Dukakis to try and remove him as political opposition.

Al Queda: Trying to establish a society with one religion, where we bow down to the Islamic Caliphate.

Al Gore: Trying to establish a society with one religion, where we bow down to to the Earth Goddess Gaea.

Al Queda: Failed to prevent the 2004 election win by George W. Bush. Bin Laden has almost no influence in 2008 despite his insisting otherwise. Is sliding into irrelevance.

Al Gore: Failed to prevent the 2000 election win by George W. Bush. Has almost no influence in 2008 despite his insisting otherwise. Is sliding into irrelevance.

Al Queda: Lampooned brilliantly on South Park. Terrorists hijacked our imagination, and Osama has fartypants.

Al Gore: Lampooned brilliantly on South Park. Terrorists hijacked our imagination, and the search for ManBearPig.

Al Queda: Osama speaks in a tongue only Arabs can understand. Normal Americans tune him out, find him grating.

Al Gore: Speaks in a tongue only liberal elitist snobs can understand. Normal Americans tune him out, find him grating.

Al Queda: Bill Clinton helped elevate them to power by doing nothing to stop them.

Al Gore: Bill Clinton helped elevate him to power by rescuing him from the ash heap of failed Presidential candidates.

Al Queda: Worth hundreds of millions of dollars while railing against American capitalism, through drugrunning, gunrunning, prostitution, gambling. Initially inherited the money from dad.

Al Gore: Worth hundreds of millions of dollars while railing against American capitalism, mainly through gambling in Google stock. Initially inherited the money from dad.

Al Queda: Blows up airplanes, wants to disrupt the world supply of oil.

Al Gore: Flies on private jets, eating up fuel and jacking up the price of oil.

Al Queda: Will be with us forever, they refuse to go away.

Al Gore: Will be with us forever, refuses to go away.

Al Queda: Like most terrorists, can be brought to their knees with the USA staying on offense in the War on Terror.

Al Gore: Like most liberals, can be brought to his knees with a phone call from Al Sharpton or Jesse Jackson.

Al Queda: If only General David Petraeus had stayed home and wrote books.

Al Gore: If only Hillary Clinton had stayed home and baked cookies.

Al Queda: Wants to destroy all Jews including Weird Al Yankovic.

Al Gore: Destroyed Weird Al Yankovic on MTV Celebrity Deathmatch.

Heck, for (e)mailing it in today, not bad. Off to watch the NFL Playoffs and the debates, and do recaps of it all. Life is peaceful, but we cannot be complacent. At this very minute, Al Queda and Al Gore are plotting to get our attention and dominate our news cycles.

eric

A Pope and a Hope! Huckleberry Hound and Obamarama met Andy Warhol!

Friday, January 4th, 2008

huckleberryhound.jpg

A Pope and a Hope, a Pope and a Hope, celebrate everybody, a Pope and a Hope!

On the republican side, Huckleberry Hound defeated Deputy Dawg, Dick Tracy, Rupaul, Grumpy and Rudy.

On the democratic side, the man who preached hope defeated the woman married to the man from Hope.

John Edwards came in second, and acted like he won. Hey, it worked for Bill Clinton in New Hampshire in 1992. Hillary Clinton came in third, and somehow says the same words as John Edwards, only without the human emotion. Don’t get me wrong, Edwards is a snake oil salesman. Yet he knows how to sell the stuff well. Hillary confuses loudness with emotion, and the moniker “Shrillary” is not without merit.

Christopher “thud” Dud dropped out of the race, and the five people supporting him are debating issues nobody cares about. Joe Biden and Bill Richardson combined for hundreds of votes more than Dodd, or about 3%. That 3% represents the adults in the democratic party. As for Dodd dropping out, this freaked out Al Gore, who immediately heard a tree falling in the forest, rushing in to save it before blaming George W. Bush. Good riddance to Ted Kennedy’s drinking partner, aka Dud the thud. Biden dropped out as well, further proof that substance is irrelevant in the democratic party.

Mike Huckabee and Barack Obama met Andy Warhol, and the clock is approaching 12:15am. Those dancing the Obamarama have been warned. By the time Hillary is done with Obama (through her surrogates of course), the voters will believe he is the singer who urinates on teenage girls (R. Kelly for those in tune with pop culture as me).

As for Huckeberry Hound, his “Oh my Darling Clementine” routine is officially done. He has peaked. There are two reasons he will go no further.

First of all, the democrats may be the party of donkeys, but the biggest braying jack@ss claiming to be a member of the republican party is Ed Rollins, who takes pride in engaging in gutter politics. Ed Rollins advised Ross Perot, abandoning his party. He also bragged (falsely, thank heavens) about paying black people to not vote in a close race between Christie Whitman and James Florio in the 1990s.

Yes, Ed Rollins was Ronald Reagan’s campaign manager in 1984, but I could have run that campaign. Bonzo the Chimp could have run that campaign. Come to think of it…maybe he did run that campaign. Now he will take a guy who is known as a good, decent, Christian man, and encourage him to act like the devil.

The second reason Huckabee has peaked is because not everybody in America is obsessed over the abortion issue. I am not saying abortion is completely irrelevant, but being pro-life is about valuing all human life, especially from people who wish to murder us. Islamofacism threatens every human being on Earth. Abortion directly affects less than 1% of the population, yet indirectly enrages many on both sides. Mike Huckabee is Pat Robertson, except with a tone that is more warm furry pal Grover and less Oscar the Grouch. Keeping with the Sesame Street themeMost Americans see Bert and Ernie as adorable critters, and do not see a threat in children watching them live together (of course if liberals win they might apply for domestic benefits on “Sesame Street”).

Parents worry that their children might be killed by terrorists, not that they may play with homosexual Teletubbies (Was it the purple or pink one that was gay?).

The big struggle was watching Bill Clinton, his hands placed over his genitalia, quietly listening to his wife with a stoned expression. No, that was not a marijuana joke. I mean stoned as in unmoved. He grimaced more than smiled. The reasons were obvious. The evening was killing him.

Bill Clinton would have given a much better speech than his wife. He would have dazzled the crowd, and tugged at their heartstrings. I am not saying that he would rather be married to John Edwards, but those two are melodic. Hillary is tone deaf.

Not only would he have spoken better, he would have gotten to speak. I was waiting for him to draw blood from biting his lip, knowing that he had to tand their like background scenery while other people…any other people…spoke. Like the kid who can’t win “the quiet game,” even if you promise him an extra marshmallow, he is truly suffering giving up the limelight, even to his life business partner.

In the “Hair-off Hypocrisy” moment in the media, why is it that a perfectly coiffed multimillionaire democrat can declare second place a victory while a perfectly coiffed multimillionaire republican must accept second place as a defeat. They both lived in the state, banked their campaigns on success there, and lost to candidates that will be historical footnotes in a few weeks. Yet Edwards is seen as a winner despite losing to somebody who will…repeat…will…lose…while Romney is seen as a loser despite losing to somebody who also…will…lose.

Once the fake excitement wears off like a romantic partner that was a 10 at 2(am) but a 2 at 10(am), the general election will be a boring, mainstream election between Hillary and Rudy, or perhaps McCain.

Besides, who cares about the Iowa caucuses? The real battle in the last 24 hours was between Huckabee and Hillary in the Hee-Haw Primary known as late night television. Who had higher ratings, Leno, or Letterman? Which person with connections to Arkansas would be the heir to Clintonism?

As for Obama, give Oprah’s pet some credit. He talked about how he united America in Iowa despite a fractured vote in his own party. The guy won, but more importantly is the reason why he won. It is the same reason Huckabee won.

They are both likable, inoffensive, and harmless. Let’s be honest, they are warm and fuzzy. Who cares that they say absolutely nothing? Apparently not Iowa voters. I was waiting for Iowa voters to compliment Obama on his tailor. His suit may be empty, but it does look stylish. Huckabee has plenty of substance, if deep conviction on one social issue counts.

There was no word on which one of the liberals military voters supported, because they were too busy defending our freedom in the last few months before a liberal might pretend to bring them home in disgrace.

Ok, the only people more tedious than Obama and Huckabee and the media who fawn over them are the Iowa voters and their illusion of self importance. Time to kick them out of bed like an Arkansas Governor (No Mr. Huckabee, of course I did not mean you) would, go lick the (redacted) of the 12 people living in Dix Hill Notch, New Hampshire, before getting rid of them and moving onto the real race.

My Darling Huckabamarama Clementine, you are sweet and adorable, but the voters want an adult relationship. Soon enough they will find one. Normally midnight ends it all. Andy Warhol gave you until 12:15am. Donald Trump will be firing you soon.

Hold on, this just in…in the spirit of Al Gore’s carbon credits, Bill Richardson is lobbying to have his 2% applied to 2012.

eric

Iowa–Praying for ice storms

Thursday, January 3rd, 2008

Folks, the Tygrrrr Express is reporting live from Iowa…well actually I am in Los Angeles, so this is completely fictional, but only an imbecile would trek thousands of miles in January ice storms for a non-story.

Tygrrrr Express: Anderson Cooper, what do you see?

AC: Well Eric, as you know, the Hillary Clinton campaign has been handing out shovels and providing sea salt to make the roads safer. Unfortunately, two elderly ladies slipped and fell, breaking their hips. The Hillary Clinton campaign was first on the scene, making sure both women were ok. One of them appears to be a Hillary supporter, and while she wants to be taken to a hospital, they are trying to drag her into a caucus van. The campaign insists that they will look for a hospital adjacent to a caucus precinct, and that they understand her willingness to stand in line for hours with a broken hip. They came prepared with wheelchairs.

The other woman seems to be an Obama supporter, and it appears the Hillary campaign is just leaving her there. A Hillary spokesperson stated that if they took the woman to the hospital, the Obama campaign would accuse them of stealing votes, and that the only ethical thing to do is to leave her there so the Obama people can get her. When asked what could happen to her if the Obama campaign does not get her, the spokeswoman for Hillary replied that “Barack Obama should be faulted in that case for not having a strong enough organization. He is obviously not ready for the rigors of the Presidency.”

John Edwards is now on the scene, and he has promised to sue whoever is responsible for this woman falling and hurting herself. The woman stated that she was not angry, but that she really did need medical attention. Edwards stated that he would start by suing God, and if that failed, he would sue the city. In fact, he stated that he would sue in Sioux City, because it sounded the same as Sue City. Realizing this would anger other caucus voters, he decided to sue South Dakota instead, since that is where the woman was born.

Back to you Eric.

Tygrrrr Express: Thank you Anderson, you’re an overglorified pretty boy. Ok, now that the Clinton News Network has reported on the democrats, let’s see what Fox News has to say about their lovers on republican lane. Bill O’Reilly, what are you seeing?

BO: Well Eric, first of all, I could kick Anderson Cooper’s @ss in a heartbeat. He thinks having perfect hair will get him viewers. He’s wrong.

On the subject of perfect hair, as you know, Mitt Romney is incredibly handsome. Some undecided elderly ladies were walking to the caucus. When they told him they were undecided, one of the ladies mentioned she had a granddaughter. Springing into action, Romney promised the woman his eldest son, who is also incredibly handsome. Another woman also has a granddaughter, and Romney has offered her his second eldest son, who is also incredibly handsome.

Fred Thompson is bald, and destined for success. He is in his hotel room with his feet on the coffee table with a lit cigar. He has made it clear that “only an idiot would go outside in this weather,” and that the room service is spectacular.

Rudy Giuliani is in Florida. From what his campaign has reported, the weather is gorgeous, and while their is no snow on the ground, most of the elderly voters still complain about the cold, and the quality of the local buffet. He feels ready to take on Al Queda based on his experiences cleaning up New York City, steering the city through 9/11, and driving on Highway 95 to Okeechobee at the same time as senior citizens. He is tested, and they are testy.

John McCain has just been offered the use of a wheelchair by one of the other campaigns mistaking him for a grumpy old Iowa voter. Apparently this was a prank by the Huckabee campaign, who insisted that he was against the prank from the very beginning even while doing it.

Wait, we are getting word that Mitt Romney’s 5th son is only 80% as handsome as his other sons, rendering him the black sheep of the family, or by normal standards, the eggshell white sheep rather than lily white. Luckily the fifth woman’s granddaughter is significantly more hideous than the other girls, so the 5th Romney son will be acceptable compensation for her vote. Rumors are flying that Romney has ordered his wife to start procreating again now because he is out of sons to pawn off.

Tygrrrr Express: Bill, that is fascinating, and your toupee is better than Letterman’s. Who is going to win on the republican side?

BO: Weren’t you paying attention? This whole state is one gigantic Church. Even the Jews and Muslims here are Christians. Huckabee will win, because as you know, Jesus just had his birthday. While this has nothing to do with Pakistan, Iowa is not about serious issues.

Tygrrrr Express: Fascinating Bill. Chris Matthews, you shill for left wing wackos, what is going on with the candidates that only you care about?

CM: Eric, I am going to scream at you like my caricature on “Saturday Night Live,” because that is what I do. This place is colder than Zell Miller after forgetting his meds and challenging me to a duel. Yet the action is so hot that it’s hotter here than Zell Miller forgetting his meds and challenging me to a duel.

Tygrrrr Express: Chris, let’s play softball like you and Larry King do every night. Has the cold weather affected your softballs?

CM: Yes, they are freezing, and quite salty. Speaking of salty, Dennis Kucinich is very upset that his one campaign staffer forgot to bring the t-shirts that read, “I’m Dennis Kucinich.” The original idea was to have Eddie Murphy campaign for him, but that plan was aborted when Eddie stood next to Kucinich and yelled, “I’m Gumby, d@mnit!”

Mike Gravel is yelling louder than I am, but he is actually gaining support here. Apparently when the Hillary campaign ordered tons of sea salt with instruction to use it to “support the gravel,” that confused the voters. Some giant trucks with “gravel” written on them were seen as an endorsement of the Alaska Governor. His support has doubled, and he could pull down four votes, or 80% of his family.

Tygrrrr Express: Anything else Chris?

CM: Yes, this vote is closer than a welldigger’s @ss.

Tygrrrr Express: That does not make any sense Chris. Do you mean it is colder than a welldigger’s @ss?

CM: Yes, this vote is witch teat cold. The situation is more tense than a Dan Rather-Katie Couric smackdown. I wouldn’t mind giving Katie a smackdown on her shapely…

Tygrrrr Express: Hold that thought Chris, we are getting a report in from Florida. Despite the fact that he will be out of office in a year, President Bush’s opponents are still counting ballots from seven years ago. Apparently a box of lost votes for Al Gore was found in the swamps of the Everglades. How ironic is that? If only Gore had searched the pristine nature he loves, he would have won. Actually, wait, scratch that. They found 10 votes. However, at this rate, they will have enough votes to reverse the 2000 election by 2010.

We now go to Larry King in Florida. Larry, is the action intense?

LK: No Eric, in fact, nobody is here except Mr. Giuliani. I know the action is in Iowa, but with my phlebitis, the warm Florida sun works better. As for the voters, they definitely prefer Tony Bennett to Frank Sinatra. Say, did you know about my love for Angie Harmon?

Tygrrrr Express: You mean Angie Dickinson? Angie Harmon is married to Jason Sehorn, the athlete.

LK: The baseball player?

Tygrrrr Express: No, that is Jason Giambi. Anyway, it seems that the Governor of Florida is having a beef with the Governor of Arkansas?

LK: You mean Jeb Bush and Hillary Clinton?

Tygrrrr Express: Larry, despite George W. Bush being all powerful, he could not keep his brother in office. Hillary Clinton was never Governor of Arkansas. She married a guy who became that, the only reason we know who she is. I was referring to the Huckabee-Crist conflict.

LK: Oh yes, that issue. Well Governor Huckabee keeps referring to the Governor of Florida as Charlie Christ. It is Crist, as in wrist. There seems to be confusion because Crist is supporting Giuliani, but Christ is supporting Huckabee. Also, given that Rudy is married to a lovely Hebrew woman who is the heir to the Nathan’s Hot Dog empire, there are rumors that he is changing his name to Rudy Jewliani. Christ was Jewish, and now Crist is supporting Jewliani.

Tygrrrr Express: Larry, his wife is a different Nathan, and that report was even more worthless than your normal show. Given that most of the voters there died a couple years ago and nobody told them, do you feel at home? Wait, hold that thought, we have returns coming in from Iowa.

http://michellemalkin.com/2008/01/03/iowa-place-your-bets/

It seems 10 people voted for the democrats. Hillary Clinton received 4 votes, with Obama and Edwards each receiving 3 votes. The Hillary Clinton campaign is calling it a landslide, and proof that George W. Bush is evil.

The republicans had 8 people vote. Mike Huckabee received 3 votes, with Mitt Romney, Fred Thompson, Rudy Giuliani, John McCain and Ron Paul each receiving one vote. Huckabee was prepared to take the oath of office, but Justice John Roberts explained to him that the Iowa Caucus does not directly elect the President. Upon realizing Iowa alone was not enough to get elected, Huckabee promptly quit the race.

The republican side is a mess, as the other 5 candidates scramble for Huckabee’s 3 votes. Ron Paul is claiming an avalanche of support, and his second place tie is impressive. Duncan Hunter was expected to drop out, in keeping with his promise to quit if he did not finish in the top 6, or get at least one vote.

Apparently Tom Tancredo is demanding that the other candidates address why all the illegal immigrants are being hidden, and why the Iowa police have not acted. Mitt Romney explained that their simply were only white people in Iowa, and that as an ultra white person himself, he was qualified to state with certainty as to the state’s homogeneity. Barack Obama absolutely agreed, and stated that he will not discuss his black heritage until he reaches South Carolina. Eager to jump on that bandwagon, Hillary Clinton will not go public with the news that she is actually a woman until she gets to California, a more progressive state. She will then ditch the pantsuits and go back to the girley girl hair she had in 1992.

Ok, for final thoughts…Pat Buchanan, go first.

PB: The problem with the Jews is…

Tygrrrr Express: Never mind, how about you Charles Krauthammer?

CK: This process is a complete joke.

Tygrrrr Express: Sir Charles of Krauthammer, right as always. Alan Colmes, your eyebrow creeps me out. Final thoughts?

AC: I have the same initials as Anderson Cooper.

Tygrrrr Express: Yes, but your nickname should be shared with Rob Reiner. Speaking of all in the family, Larry King, you have 20 families, any thoughts?

LK: Mitt Romney has handsome sons. I can’t wait to celebrate Hanukkah with them.

Tygrrrr Express…Umm, Larry…never mind. Susan Estrich…your thoughts?

SE: (High pitched inaudible screech that only dogs and Howard Dean can here)

Tygrrrr Express: Never mind. Bob Beckel, you like hookers. Why do you think George W. Bush is a moral failure?

SE: Eric, that was a cheap shot, and if there is anything I know, it’s cheap shots. I ran Walter Mondale’s campaign, so I think…

Tygrrrr Express: No you don’t. Greta Van Susteren, you do a fabulous imitation of “Beaker” from the Muppets. Final thoughts?

GVS: Well in talking to Scott Peterson on what Natalee Holloway’s mother thinks about Anna Nicole and Britney…

Tygrrrr Express: Greta, I wish you and Geraldo would be deported to Aruba permanently. I heard you did a cavity search of him and found some of the treasure in Al Capone’s vaults. Enough.

We have further news that private citizen and Yassir Arafat’s award winning compadre Al Gore claimed that there was a groundswell for him to enter the race, and that he had the support of Iowa football coach Hayden Fox. Apparently he got confused. Hayden Fry was a former football coach. He is deceased. Hayden Fox was a fictional football coach on the tv show “Coach,” played by Craig T. Nelson. Senator John Kerry claimed that he had the support of football coach Bo Schembechler, until it was pointed out that Mr. Schembechler is also deceased, and he was the coach of Michigan, not Iowa.

This concludes the waste of time that is the Iowa Caucus. As for the 18 people who voted, 18 is a lucky number in Jewish culture, but since none of you are Jewish, I hope you get hypothermia for forcing 18,000 journalists to cover your every movement from your morning shower to your evening bedtime tuck in. Mr. Clinton, stop pretending to be a journalist.

This concludes the Iowa Caucuses. On a side note, several terrorist attacks on American soil were foiled today, but the media was busy covering Iowa, given that there are no caucuses in Pakistan or Iraq today.

Dear God, I pray for ice storms to blanket them all, until their lips are too frozen to speak.

eric

Abolish the Iowa Caucuses

Wednesday, January 2nd, 2008

Abolish the Iowa Caucuses.

They are a disgrace. They mean nothing, they contribute nothing, and they are worth nothing. In fact, they are worse than nothing. They actually detract from the political process. The Iowa Caucuses are not democracy at its finest. They are the political equivalent of the “Lord of the Flies,” anarchy running wild.

Even worse than that, they do not represent the American electorate. Before everybody in Middle America pillories me as a coastal snob, Iowa may be Middle America, but the voters in the caucuses are not in the middle.

The Iowa republicans are a disgrace. They have proven this for the last three decades. They care about one issue, and one issue only, and that is abortion.

Abortion, abortion, abortion, abortion, abortion, abortion, abortion, abortion, abortion, abortion, abortion, abortion, abortion, abortion.

That is the only thing they factor into their decision.

It is not that there is anything wrong with being pro-life. What is wrong is neglecting every other issue and sacrificing conservative principles as a whole for one issue.

There is no other explanation for the support being given to Mike Huckabee.

I want to make it clear that I think Mike Huckabee is a good, decent man. He is an honorable person with a good family who leads a positive life that can and should be admired. So what? The same can be said about Barack Obama, and nobody in their right mind would call Obama a conservative republican.

Yes, Huckabee is a conservative compared to Obama, but he is well to the left of most republicans.

I made a vow to uphold Ronald Reagan’s 11th commandment of not attacking another republican. However, I do have the right to point out positions on issues without denigrating the person.

Rudy Giuliani, John McCain, Mitt Romney, and Fred Thompson all want an aggressive strategy regarding the War on Terror. They all have staunchly supported the War in Iraq, and are concerned about Iran. Mike Huckabee has not been in this category. The other four men want to reduce taxes, and have done so through executive action or legislative votes. Mike Huckabee was a tax raiser.

So what does Mike Huckabee offer that the others do not? A social conservative streak that he mentions in every speech.

Rudy Giuliani was a hero during 9/11, and his Mayoralty was one of the greatest examples of leadership ever. He is pro-choice, and therefore disqualified.

John McCain and Fred Thompson are both staunchly pro-life, but they are guilty of the sin of not mentioning it in every sentence. They actually speak about other issues.

Mitt Romney gets some support for his pro-life credentials that he repeatedly emphasizes, but faces suspicion from others for not being that way since birth himself.

Mike Huckabee may not have any answers for Islamofacists who want to kill people once they are born, but he will absolutely make sure children are born into this world of uncertainty.

Like a Harvard MBA that has to announce in every sentence of every conversation that they are from Harvard, Mike Huckabee continues to hammer the pro-life message, other messages be d@mned. He claims that he is running for President, not Pope, but his campaign displays the exact opposite message.

The democrats in Iowa are even more pathetic. Qualifications do not matter. Speaking in a clear voice, offering lofty rhetoric, and blathering about “hope,” matter more than any experience or grasp of foreign policy issues.

Yes, Barack Obama is a decent man. So is my local dry cleaner, and neither of them are qualified to be President.

On top of that, the caucuses for the democrats are designed to facilitate bullying, or as liberals call it, “discussion.” Any candidate not getting 15% of the vote will watch as their supporters are cajoled, bribed, and arm twisted into supporting one of the frontrunners. These are the same people that want to allow unions to do away with the secret ballots for workers. Private voting allows people to vote their conscience, free from intimidation. The democrats would rather have union bosses muscle out certain candidates and stifle dissent in the name of unity. Apparently the people who talk about the future still think that 2008 Iowa is 1930s Chicago.

http://michellemalkin.com/2008/01/02/countdown-to-iowa-let-loose-the-testosterone/

So the democrats have a broken process and the republicans have a single issue electorate. Democrats are held hostage by the unions and republicans by the Churches.

Past candidates that have been well received in Iowa include Pat Robertson and Alan Keyes. Ronald Reagan lost in Iowa, which people in the other 49 states cannot fathom.

Dick Gephardt and Tom Harkin won, proving that as Iowa goes, so goes Iowa.

As an added bonus, despite many politicians obsessing about diversity, Iowa is lily white.

Every once in awhile, an Iowa winner goes on to win other states, but they would have won those states anyway.

This year the frontrunners on both sides are the candidates that have unifying support–among the other party.

Republicans are salivating over the prospect of facing Obama. It is not his race, although anyone daring to criticize Obama gets the race card played against them (which proves it is the left that focuses on race). It is complete lack of a resume. His suit is emptier than John Edwards, and that is not an easy thing to achieve. Obama is the king of pablum. He thinks we should talk with Iran and Syria, and that hope is the answer to everything.

Democrats, not known for publicly admitting to anything involving prayer, are praying that they face Huckabee in the general election. They cannot wait to paint him as a knuckle dragging bible thumper. It will work. Anybody that thinks the pro-life issue and the culture wars are what every American focuses on have short memories. Pat Buchanan’s speech at the 1992 republican convention in Houston was the gift that kept on giving to the Clinton campaign.

I have a deep respect for Christian America, and Christianity. My objection is to sacrificing principles. The democrats can vote for Obama because they truly are that dense. They generally do not care about real issues that matter.

Republicans have always been better than that. Except in Iowa. Republicans claim to be free market conservatives, but then support welfare in the form of ethanol subsidies. Yet make no mistake about it. Abortion is what matters.

The republicans have a superb Mayor, a War Hero Senator, a brilliant business executive, and a high powered Washington lawyer. Then they have Huckabee.

The democrats have a Senator with years of experience on the Foreign relations committee. They have a former Energy Secretary. On a rung below they have a guy who sues hospitals and a lady who happened to be married to a President. Below that they have Obama.

Huckabee and Obama speak well. As Chris Rock says, “Speaks well is not a compliment.”

Yes, it has been over six years since 9/11. However, it has been less than six days since Benazir Bhutto was murdered by Al Queda terrorists. Can we really trust any candidate that is a deer in the headlights on how to handle terrorism? For those that want to change the channel, we can’t. Unlike the nonsense many fight about, this life and death struggle actually is important.

The other 49 states might even consider Islamofacism a serious matter. Not Iowa. They would rather hear empty rhetoric about hope and endless preaching from preachers.

This is what Iowa has brought us. There is no excuse for it.

The Iowa Caucus needs to go the way of Old Yeller.

Then we can focus on the uselessness that is New Hampshire. Then again, if New Hampshire does one thing right, which is debatable, it ignores Iowa.

So should we.

eric

We…can…do…this.

Tuesday, January 1st, 2008

What the heck is that beeping sound?

(knocks the phone off the hook, keeps banging the snooze alarm)

A voice tells me it’s my pager. My pager is black, so finding it in the dark is the needle haystack equivalent. A lucky smack knocks it against the wall, where it may or may not have shattered. The beeping continues.

Who the heck is texting me at this ungodly hour of…1pm?

Great, happy new year wishes. Thanks. Whoever you are, I hate you.

I remember once being awakened by somebody who insisted it was 1PM. I explained to them that they were on the East Coast, and that 1pm EST is 10AM in Los Angeles. The person explained that they knew how to tell time, and that it was 4PM EST, hence 1PM where I was.

Sure, I could get up and write my column. It’s a new year, and starting the year off with a flurry of brilliance might be helpful. Forget it. I wrote the column last night.

The Iowa Caucuses? The first candidate to call me gets blistered on my blog…tomorrow.

The Bowl games? I have Tivo. Besides, does anybody care who wins the Poulan Weed Eater Bowl, the Lack of Insight.com Bowl, the Fishbowl, the RU486 Morning After Bowl, or any other game that I may or may not have made up?

Speaking of the morning after, does anybody remember the David Byrne Talking Heads song from the movie “Less than Zero? (which the temperature feels like right now, even in LA)” The song is called “Once in a lifetime.”

“This is not my beautiful house. This is not my beautiful wife. What have I done? How did I get here?”

I then realize that the beeping sounds are the voices in my head telling me I am too old, even at 35, to stay out this late. I do not even drink alcohol, yet I remain exhausted.

I should get out of bed, but at 1pm, I have to be at work in 20 hours. I had better rest up.

Besides, if I get up now, and somehow stagger to the shower, and get dressed, I can make it out of my condo to go…nowhere, the stores are closed.

My birthday is in just over a week, I should pace myself.

Heck, I could work on my website. All that takes is staggering to my couch. Oh, no. My IT guy has not finished it yet.

I could go on Jdate and search for women. Not a bad idea, except that I am too exhausted to check their adams apples. I do not want a boyfriend, and am not sure that my eyes can tell the difference right now.

Perhaps I can shop on Ebay. No, bad idea. Buying stuff when not at full capacity is problematic. Do I really need another mountain goat? I think not. D@mn creature gets his horns in my hide. Not a comfy way to wake up. Calm down boy, I’ll get you some straw to graze on when I wake up.

I could work on my record album, although I keep telling the world that just because my hair is long, that does not mean I am in a band. The only instrument I like is the triangle, because that tells me lunch is ready.

Ahh, yes, lunch. I could get up and eat something. My microwave is slow, and a 5 minute tv dinner takes almost 15 minutes. I could read the paper, but it is cold outside my building where the stand is, and I can’t find any coins. Reading the paper online is tiring, and my printer is not working. I really could use the lifestyle section. It makes a great placemat for when I am eating.

If I stay in bed for only a couple more hours until 3PM, that would allow me to stay up all night so I am totally exhausted for work tomorrow. The boss might not like that plan.

Running errands…not gonna happen.

Every morning, I say a 4 word prayer to start my day. I use my elbows to try and leverage them against my bed to prop me up. I used to place my alarm clock on the other side of the room, but ripping the cord out of the wall solved that problem.

As for the Jewish brunette who stole the covers, her political liberalism was not a problem last night, although if she opens her trap today I will be more caustic than usual.

Oh wait, she already left. Here is a note. “I tried to wake you, but that was a losing battle. By the way, you have nothing but soda in your fridge. Talk to you soon.”

She is a liar. I have potato chips in my fridge as well. Why they are there, I am not sure, but it saves having to remember which cabinet they are in. One stop shopping, I tell you, is the way to go.

Besides, I combed my hair for her last night. I am not doing it this morning. I am a “retrosexual (Thank you Laree for teaching me my first vocab word of 2008).”

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=retrosexual

I should at least have the decency to say some morning prayers.

“Hey God…those people I pray for every night…yeah those people, the same ones…look after them again.”

I briefly go back to sleep, despite every attempt to wake up. The home phone is turned off, the cell is off as well, and the pager is still shattered, in addition to being disconnected a year ago.

There may have been a car crash outside my building followed by 911 calls and sirens, but telling everybody to “keep it down,” solved that problem. A brief nightmare of me being late for work was averted when I realized they would find me if needed.

Four tvs in the living room, and none in the bedroom. What was I thinking? Oh yeah, a tv in the bedroom would promote laziness. Besides, trying to figure out which remote to use would cause me to break them all as if they were my pager.

Ok, 3PM it is. Come on, elbows, do your stuff. Rise, young lad, rise! Awaken thy exhausted tired eyes!

Why is God shouting? Oh wait, that is my overdramatization of God.

I had better set the alarm now so I do not miss work tomorrow. I wonder where I threw it. Threw it? Oh, screw it.

Ok, time for my 4 word prayer. It has gotten me this incredibly terribly far. Time to contemplate getting out of bed.

“We…can…do…this.”

Happy 2008 all. Except for the person that woke me up earlier. Whoever you are, I still can’t stand you.

eric