Of all the areas in society where being gay is still taboo, the National Football League may still be at the top of the list. While there is no prohibition on gay players, self-censorship exists out of fear. The locker room is an alpha-male dominated area where only tough guys should venture.
Once again, barriers are starting to break down. A pair of announcements got very little attention.
Robin Roberts was the first one.
eric
Today is John Kerry Belmont Saturday.
For those who would rather be outside doing things tonight, I question you. Tonight is a good time to be in a sportsbar.
For those who like hot female Russian tennis players, Maria Sharapova did what Anna Kournikova did not. Sharapova won grand slam matches. The grand slam is more than just a delicious meal at Denny’s. Ms. Sharapova won the French Open.
Hockey fans brings Game 5 of the Stanley Cup Finals. The Los Angeles Kings will have another chance to close out the New Jersey Devils for their very first championship. With the Lakers eliminated, it will be interesting to see which Hollywood celebrities pretend to have been Kings fans their whole lives.
Basketball offers Game 7 of the Eastern Conference Finals. The Celtics are led by Kevin Garnett. Mr. Garnett may be collecting social security checks, but he has a ton of heart. Yet the Heat are at home, and LeBron James wants to silence the doubters. If the Heat lose the team will be blown up. As for the Celtics, a pre-game nap would help the old men.
The Western Conference Finals saw the Oklahoma City Thunder defeat the San Antonio Spurs. The Thunder feature a black man named Harden who has a beard resembling that of an Orthodox Jew. As one fan pointed out, “fear the beard.” Black Jews everywhere should rally around Mr. Harden.
Yet for some it is all about horse racing. The Belmont Stakes are today, and sadly few will care. “I’ll Have Another” will not be having another. The triple crown will not be attempted. Despite winning the Kentucky Derby and the Preakness in thrilling fashion over “Bodiemeister,” both horses are scratched from the Belmont. Bodiemeister never entered the race while I’ll Have Another developed tendinitis and is now retired.
This makes John Kerry the favorite to win the Belmont, as he has been every year since 2004.
It all started when John Kerry walked into a bar and the bartender asked him “Why the long face?”
The Belmont is like a John Kerry speech. There is two hours of commentary with only two minutes of actual action.
That could also be a commentary on a Jimmie Johnson Enzyte commercial, but today is not about football or auto racing.
This concludes John Kerry Belmont Saturday.
Now get to a sportsbar and enjoy the action!
eric
Ron Paul and Rand Paul finally fall in line
Today is a day to praise Ron Paul and Rand Paul.
Yes, I said it. Yes, this Neocon still disagrees with Ron Paul on foreign policy. Yes, there is enough animosity between many Paul supporters and me to start a small undeclared war. Yet they did something positive and deserve credit.
eric
Non-Wisconsin news
While several states held primaries on June 5th, 2012, all eyes were on Wisconsin. Republican Governor Scott Walker and Lieutenant Governor Rebecca Kleefisch easily trounced the left. They crushed the unions in a big victory.
The left responded in their usual classy manner. Governor Walker received death threats on Twitter. These are liberals. This is how they behave.
Yet while the focus was on the left coming unhinged in Wisconsin, other states actually held primaries.
California was one of those states. The state received little to no attention because most of the country knows that California is finished. Wisconsin decided not to become California, giving it a chance to survive.
Anyway, here are the results of some California races.
Actually, never mind. California is toast.
One source of amusement came in the form of propositions 28 and 29. Prop 29 was a tax on cigarettes to fund cancer research. The voters knew this was phony, since the money raised would just be wasted on other programs. It was narrowly defeated by less than 51-49%.
Yet the real fun was the prop 28 item that supposedly enacted “term limits.” It was a joke, and the voters were fooled. It passed 61 to 39%, yet it actually does the opposite of what it pretends. Instead of being able to serve 6 years in one chamber and 8 years in another, now they can serve 12 years total in one chamber. So it actually doubles some terms. Only in California. The legislators who destroyed the state will now have more time to double down and make things worse.
Enough with California. It’s over. The only good news is that liberals Howard Berman and Brad Sherman will spend a few months killing each other in Los Angeles.
In the California presidential primary, Mitt Romney won 80% of the vote. The fellow from the Planet Rapulon had 10%. That came out to less than 150,000 votes in a state with 60 million people. Apparently either those screaming college kids are his only base of support, or they are the typical stoners and slackers who will go to rallies but not vote.
The Montana presidential primary saw Mr. Romney get 68% of the vote with the fellow from Rapulon getting 14%. An interesting note came on the side of the Democrats. Jon Tester was the only Democrat on the ballot, and the incumbent Senator got 99% of the vote. Yet President Obama was also the only Democrat in his category, and he only received 89%. About 10% wanted somebody else. Denny Rehberg easily won his race. Some surprise occurred in the Governor’s race on the GOP side. Rick Hill came in first with 34%. Ken Miller is very tall with good hair, yet he only came in second with 17%.
In New Jersey, Mitt Romney won 81% of the presidential vote with the Rapulons scoring their typical 10%. Further discussion of New Jersey is not necessary.
In New Mexico news, New Mexico is actually a state in America. It is not part of Mexico. Romney won the presidential primary, but the real action was in the state legislature. Incumbents were going down in flames, with several Democrats being defeated. At least one-quarter of the current legislature will not be back in the next session.
Yet June 5th was all about Wisconsin. For those who forgot, the leftists got their brains beaten in. Governor Walker and Lieutenant Governor Rebecca Kleefisch stood for principles, and were rewarded for this. As their reward, Wisconsin citizens can now proudly chant that they are not California.
eric
Scott Walker crushes liberal union rats.
To quote Wisconsin Lieutenant Governor Rebecca Kleefisch, “This is what democracy looks like!
In 2010, conservative Republicans Scott Walker and Rebecca Kleefisch defeated liberal Democrat Tom Barrett in a close election. In the 2012 recall, Governor Walker and Lieutenant Governor Kleefisch faced off against Barrett again. This time they crushed him.
eric
Queen Elizabeth, Barack Obama, and Sarah Jessica Parker
Ms. Sarah Jessica Parker has now added herself to the list of people who think that their political opinions matter just because people who don’t matter admire them. Now Ms. Jessica Parker, woman of the people that she is, is following in the footsteps of George Clooney and hosting a fundraiser for President Barack Obama. It will be like the Diamond Jubilee for Queen Elizabeth, but even less significant.
eric
Wisconsin showdown–End of the line
With 24 hours until the showdown in Wisconsin, there are only two things for conservatives all across America to do.
First of all, helping Governor Scott Walker is a must.
eric
NARCOTICS FOR LEATHERHEADS
My new NFL football column is entitled “Narcotics For Leatherheads.”
Welcome to Narcotics For Leatherheads.
This is for anyone around the world who is obsessed with the National Football League. I eat, sleep, bleed, and breathe the game of professional football. There is nothing else in this world like it.
Many of you may know me as the TYGRRRR EXPRESS. Since I started blogging in 2007, I discussed politics during the week and football on weekends. Out of respect for both audiences, total separation became necessary. This column is dedicated to the NFL. Period.
During the season, football happenings on Saturdays will be combined with analysis of the Sunday games with the point spreads included. Sunday evenings will contain extensive recaps of the day’s contests, with a final update once Monday Night Football concludes.
There is no off-season. From the Draft in New York City to the Hall of Fame Game in Canton, Ohio, to the Pro Bowl in Hawaii, every day is an NFL day.
Casual fans should be warned in advance: This is not a column for casual fans. This is for those obsessed with the greatest game on the planet.
This is not about cheerleaders or fantasy leagues. This is about actual games and actual teams.
This is for fans who get excited when a running back leaps over the top on 4th and goal at the one, only to get blasted backward in a game-saving goal line stand.
This is about seeing a quarterback get belted down hard, only to see that leader get up and throw the winning touchdown pass.
This is about special teams, whether it be Sebastian Janikowski leveling long kickoffs, Devon Hester returning them the distance, or Bill Bates flying down the field like a psychopath and blowing up a mini-wedge.
This is for those who understand why football matters. When the Saints blocked that punt against the Falcons in 2006, the entire Gulf Region was lifted. When the Giants won their first game after 9/11, Chris Berman channeled an entire nation in echoing what a classy performance it was.
This column is for those who love characters. It was Dennis Green who thundered “They are who we thought they were! If you want to crown ’em, then crown their @ss!” Jim Mora summed his best speech up in one word: “Playoffs?”
Characters will not be discussed if their oddball behavior came at the expense of their teams or winning. Characters only deserve credit in this column if they improved the game itself. Brett Favre, John Randall, Joe Namath, Ken Stabler, and Art Donovan are among the best characters.
This column is about the title of Jon Gruden’s book. “Do you love football? Well? Do you?!!!!”
This is about those who made the game what it is today long before the modern television era. From Jim Thorpe and Pudge Heffelfinger to Vince Lombardi and George Halas, appreciating the present requires respecting the past. Homer Jones invented the spike and Billy “White Shoes” Johnson is the father of the End Zone dance. Long before Peyton Manning and Ray Lewis, there was Johnny Unitas, Bart Starr, Dick Butkus, and Mean Joe Greene.
As an Oakland Raider fan myself, there will always be the controversy of the Immaculate Reception, the Tuck Rule, and the Holy Roller. The Sea of Hands and 17-Bob-Trey-O will always matter. “On came Marcus Allen, running with the night.”
I am just a mere mortal, a spectator like many of you. I do not possess the stamina of Peter King, the thoughtfulness of Don Banks, or the brilliant acid tongue of Jason Whitlock. The legendary career of John Madden eludes me. I am certainly not the voice of God. That would be John Facenda. “The Autumn Wind is a pirate.”
For some of you football is the offensive explosions that began with Sid Gillman, and were passed down to Don “Air” Coryell and Al “Just Win Baby” Davis. From them, Mike Martz created the Greatest Show on Turf.
For others it is bone-crushing defense, best exemplified by the head-knocker games between the current Steelers and Ravens. Yet long before Buddy Ryan created the 46 Defense, Dick “Night Train” Lane and Deacon Jones were blowing up opposing offenses.
For others it is special teams, the craziest of the crazies. Vai Sikahema, Mike Nelms, Mel Gray, and Steve Tasker paved the way.
For some it is just textbook power. Jim Brown colliding with Sam Huff was and always will be what football is about. Bart Starr had the winning sneak in the Ice Bowl, but it was Jerry Kramer with “the block” on Jethro Pugh that won it. Mike Jones saved a Super Bowl with “the tackle.” Jim Otto will forever be Double-Zero.
For some it is just those moments etched in time. It was Jeff Fisher getting down on one knee and whispering something in Steve McNair’s ear at the Super Bowl after the Titans came up one yard short. It was Bill “The Tuna” Parcells getting the Gatorade Bucket from Harry Carson. It was Steve Young screaming his lungs out while clutching the trophy many thought he would never win. “No one can ever take this away from us! Ever!”
For the purists, it is what Parcells would call a “parking lot guy.” This was a guy who would show up at 6:00am on a Wednesday morning in the parking lot if he was told a football game was being played. These people understand why Ed Sabol is in the Hall of Fame. Any leatherhead who is awake at that hour and not preparing for a game is probably watching an NFL Films Documentary. From the old “Football Follies,” to the phenomenal new series “America’s Game,” the chronicling of the NFL is better than ever. “The Missing Rings” episode about the 1998 Vikings must be watched.
For me it starts with that first September regular season game when the coin is flipped in the air. The opening kickoff is accompanied by the battle cry of “Let’s get it on!”
So let’s get it on. Let’s get down to the business of the National Football League.
Welcome to Narcotics For Leatherheads.
eric
While May was my best month for hate mail in terms of quantity, it was also good in terms of quality. In addition to leftists and Paulbots, Syrians and Frenchies also went after me.
June offers a more traditional batch of hate mail, that being more idiocy from Paulbots. These people claim to be original thinkers, yet they are automatons who all think and act the same way. They claim they want liberty, yet seem to think that means using foul language.
It needs to be said. The Paulbots for the most part are a bunch of savage baboons. My hate mail says it all. enjoy.
“Andy Patrick
[email protected]
Warmonger, Neocon, ZIONIST, there will come a day when JESUS will roast your ugly ASS !”
Analysis: Paubots deny the anti-Semitism in their movement. Most of the would not find the above comment anti-Semitic. Bigot is as bigot does.
“Bell
[email protected]
Can you tell me the difference between ignorant and stupid?
slava
[email protected]
Are you an idiot ore just ignorant prick go and f yourself moron
Hank
[email protected]
were you born retarded or did you suffer a brain casualty somewhere down the road? What an imbecilic writer(?) you are.”
Analysis: Can’t any of you count to three? Are you such lazy slobs that everything comes down to only two choices? Even three badly spelled epithets would be an improvement for these miscreants.
“steve frank
[email protected]
Question:
Which cereal box did you get your journalism degree from? (yes, it's a serious question)”
Analysis: Why Lucky Charms of course. After all, taking hallucinogens allows me to see red hearts, yellow moons, orange stars, green clovers, blue diamonds, and purple horseshoes. Oh wait, never mind. That would be Paulbots.” Someone should tell them that serious questions do not have to be announced as such.
“Willard Romney
[email protected]
y u no lyke ron paul?”
Analysis: The fake email address says it all. This is why Romney is the nominee while Paulbots have this individual. This is not only an anti-drug commercial but a great reason to support Ronmey.
“Eric Golub
[email protected]
Fuck You”
Analysis: Now this is original. Paulbots are as civilized as ever. This fellow pretending to be me should make love to himself. It would be much cheaper.
“Brad
[email protected]
Mitt Romney has an identical foreign policy. KILL, KILL, KILL. Your a bastard for not standing up for freedom and America!
How could you possibly know what or how a "Ron Paul fan" would feel with out ever being one to love their country enough
to not flush it down the toilet along with the rest of cronyism.
Find a life loser!!”
Analysis: Now I know why I support waterboarding, the use of predator drones, and rendition.
“Scott
[email protected]
I cant believe you lie about Mitt. He is horrible flipflopping religious idiot. I would much rather have a president who admits he had a healthy college life and experienced what most of us have. Plus he graduated from an ivy leave college. What has Mitt done? Flipflopped on everything and worse his success in private sector was at the expense of the middle class. HE assimilated companies and shipped jobs over seas. Your pathetic news article should have never made it to the google page! LAIR!”
Analysis: His email address reads “love don’t judge.” Then he goes on to spread hate in a judgmental manner. He ends his rant by calling me a “lair,” which I believe is a secret cave. If anybody besides Batman knows about underground caves and dwelling in them, it would be Paulbots in their parents’ basements typing this nonsense.
“The Front
[email protected]
How does it feel to be a failed journalist? Enjoy your Washington Times COMMUNITIES. Bahahaha.”
Analysis: It feels terrible at the moment, but that is due to my going crazy with the hors douvres in the hospitality suite of this lovely hotel. I have to be more disciplined. I will feel better after slugging down some Pepto Bismol.
“Mother
[email protected]
Son, you weren't born retarded, so what happened?
John
[email protected]
Did your mommy tell you that we are interested in your uneducated opinion? Do you actually get paid to not think? Your comments are garbage and are presented as if they are worthwhile news. Your manager should be fired immediately.”
Analysis: My mother? Really? I am surprised these geniuses did not make a remark about combat boots. 10 year olds should not be allowed to surf the internet unsupervised.
So when I say that too many people in the Ron Paul movement are a bunch of worthless scuzzbuckets, here are yet plenty more examples. I say send these college kids to Iran and see how quickly they mouth off. It is easy to be brave in America when hiding behind fake screen names and email addresses.
They are like Charlie Sheen on a cocaine binge. They think they are “winning” by typing these insults. Meanwhile, the rest of the world goes on without them, as civilized Republicans rally around Mitt Romney.
Paulbots, I publish your hate mail when I am too lazy to write an original column
I will say it again. Dear Paulbots…You don’t matter.
These are Paulbots in their natural habitat. This is how they behave.
Somebody get these simians some bananas.
eric
Jury finds John Edwards guilty of being rich, liberal and handsome
In a stunning development that shocked people who are oblivious to everything, a North Carolina jury found former Senator, Vice Presidential, and Presidential candidate John Edwards guilty of being wealthy, liberal, and handsome.
eric