Election 2013: Support Joe Lhota, Ken Cuccinelli and Chris Christie
Tuesday brings election 2013. While most of the country sees this as the year between the presidential and congressional elections, there are three critical races around the country. In all three cases, the choices are stark and the decision to endorse is an easy one.
eric
NFL 2013 Week 9 Wrapup
Broncos coach John Fox developed heart trouble, and is taking a bit of time off from the team. His heart troubles were discovered during Denver’s bye week. Defensive coordinator Jack Del Rio will guide the Broncos during the interim. Texans coach Gary Kubiak collapsed at halftime on the sideline on Sunday Night Football. Wade Phillips will lead the Texans as Kubiak recovers.
Real life matters most, but this was a good week of football on the field. Let’s not give it short shrift. Here is the NFL 2013 Week 9 Wrapup.
eric
While dropping off some papers at a local financial services firm, I accidentally went to the wrong suite and ended up in a proctologist’s office.
This was no ordinary rumpus doctor. He was a political proctologist, specializing in removing sensitive items from people in politically sensitive positions.
Thanks to a lack of security on the Obamacare website, it can now be confirmed who was in Dr. Seymour Buttman’s (thank you Bart Simpson) office on the date in question.
http://joeforamerica.com/2013/11/accidental-visit-political-proctologist/
eric
NFL 2013 Week 9 Recap
Cincinnati Bengals at Miami Dolphins was the Thursday night game. The Bengals have been rolling to a 6-2 record while the Dolphins are reeling with 4 straight losses after starting 3-0. What began as a boring football game had and exciting finish. After a scoreless first quarter that included a missed Miami field goal, the Bengals kicked a 44 yard field goal to strike first. Ryan Tannehill would bring the Dolphins 93 yards on 11 plays and 6 minutes, getting the final yard himself as the Dolphins led 7-3. With just over 30 seconds left in the half Andy Dalton was intercepted to give the Dolphins the ball at the Cincy 39. Miami kicked a field goal to lead 10-3 at intermission.
Dalton led the Bengals from their own 17 to start the third quarter on a 7 minute drive that led to a critical 3rd and 4 at the Miami 10. Dalton was then intercepted by Grimes, who returned it 94 yards for a touchdown the other way as the Dolphins led 17-3. Dalton brought the Bengals back again, this time going 80 yards in 12 plays and 5 1/2 minutes. A 3 yard touchdown to Bernard had the Bengals trailing 17-10 after three quarters. Early in the fourth quarter Bernard ran for a 35 yard touchdown to tie the game 17-17.
With 5 minutes left in regulation the Bengals were in field goal range at the Miami 34. Dalton was then intercepted for the third time. Cincinnati got it back with 3 minutes left and Dalton led the Bengals from their 29 to the Miami 36. With 90 seconds to play, Mike Nugent drilled a 54 yard field goal to give the Bengals the 20-17 lead. Tannehill then had his turn, quickly leading the Dolphins from their 24 to the Cincy 26. Sturgis nailed the 44 yard field goal with 12 seconds left to send the game into overtime.
Both teams played it very conservatively in the extra session. After a Miami punt, Marvin Lewis decided to punt it back rather than try a 57 yard field goal. Miami then faced 3rd and 1 from the Bengals 39. Miami lost a yard, and Joe Philbin decided against going for it or kicking a 58 yard field goal. A good punt pinned the Bengals back to their own 8. On 3rd and 10, with 6:42 left in the overtime, Dalton went back to pass in the end zone and was sacked for a safety. Just like that, the game was over and Miami had the win. 22-20 Dolphins
Kansas City Chiefs at Buffalo Bills—Kansas City is the NFL’s lone unbeaten, but they barely scraped by the last couple weeks at home. Now on the road, backup Buffalo quarterback Jeff Tuel threw a 59 yard touchdown to Marquise Goodwin as the Bills led 7-0. The second quarter saw both teams dive into the red zone but settle for field goals as Kansas City got close and Buffalo responded to lead 10-3.
In the third quarter the Bills were on the verge of a 14 point lead when the Kansas City defense instead created a 14 point swing. Tuel was intercepted at the goal line by Sean Smith, who returned it 100 yards to tie the game 10-10. Walrus Lite Andy Reid once again saw his game management dink and dunk West Coast Offense bailed out by a stifling defense.
In the third quarter Ryan Succop hit a 41 yard field goal to give the Chiefs a 13-10 lead and Dan Carpenter responded from 30 to tie it again 13-13. Yet again it was the defense that came through for the Chiefs as Tamba Hall returned a fumble 11 yards for a touchdown to put Kansas City up 20-13 early in the fourth quarter.
With 2:18 to play Succop came in for a critical 39 yarded. The kick was good and the Chiefs had another brutal hard-fought win. At 9-0, Andy Reid remains a happy Walrus Lite. 23-13 Chiefs
Atlanta Falcons at Carolina Panthers—An interception of Matt Ryan set up Carolina ad the Atlanta 39. Mike Tolbert ran it in from 4 yards out to make it 7-0 Panthers. A field goal by Atlanta in the second quarter cut the gap to 7-3.
In the second quarter Ted Ginn returned a punt 24 yards to the Atlanta 34. On 4th and 1 from the 14, Ron Rivers decided to go for it. Cam Newton hit Greg Olsen for the touchdown to make it 14-10 Panthers. Yet Ryan would hit Tony Gonzalez for a 17 yard score to get the Falcons within 14-10.
In the third quarter Graham Gano nailed a 55 yard field goal to give the Panthers some breathing room up 17-10. Newton ran for an 8 yard score in the fourth quarter to extend the lead to 24-10 Carolina with 9 minutes to play. A close game became a blowout as Ryan was intercepted by Drayton Florence, who returned it 38 yards for a touchdown to put the game away. Carolina added a field goal because they could.
After 5 straight winning seasons under Mike Smith including a pair of 13-3 top seeded years, the Falcons at 2-6 are done. First ballot Hall of Famer Tony Gonzalez will not get his Super Bowl trip as the Falcons, only one year after being ten yards from the Super Bowl, are finished. Meanwhile, Ron Rivera quietly has the Panthers moving in the right direction. 34-10 Panthers
Minnesota Vikings at Dallas Cowboys—Dan Bailey kicked a 41 yard file goal as the Cowboys led 3-0 and football fans everywhere were grateful this was not the Dallas Thanksgiving Day home game. Minnesota responded with 23 yard Blair Walsh field goal and a 3-3 tie. With 6 1/2 minutes left in the half another 41 yarded by Bailey had Dallas up 6-3.
Christian Ponder has been harshly criticized this year, but an 11 play, 79 yard, 5 minute drive led to Ponder running it in from 6 yards out as the Vikings led on the road 10-6.
Minnesota fell apart in the third quarter. First Tony Romo finally got into the end zone by hitting Jason Witten for a 26 yard score to give Dallas the lead. Then Ponder went back to pass from his own end zone, was hit and fumbled, and saw Nick Hayden recover for a gift Dallas touchdown and a 20-10 Cowboys lead.
Ponder fought back, and a 31 yard touchdown pass to Kyle Rudolph got Minnesota within 20-17. Minnesota got it back and Adrian Peterson rushed for a 52 yard gain. On 4th and inches from the Dallas 10, Leslie Frazier decided to go for it rather than kick the tying field goal. When a team is 1-6, going for it is fine. Peterson got the carry, and around the 5 yard line was met by several tacklers. He somehow dragged them all into the end zone in what will be one of the greatest short yardage rushing touchdowns in NFL history 100 years from now. With 5:40 to play, Minnesota had a 23-20 lead. Yet in another stunning turn of events, Walsh missed the extra point.
Romo was then intercepted, but Leslie Frazier on 4th and 5 from the Dallas 36 decided to punt rather than try a 54 yard field goal or go for it. Dallas took over at their 10 with 2:45 to play. Romo hit Jason Witten for 11, Harris for 6, Beasley for 18, Dez Bryant for 34, Beasley for 9, Witten for 5, and Harris for the 7 yard touchdown. With only 35 seconds to play, the missed extra point loomed large as the Vikings trailed by 4. Minnesota got it back at their own 42. With 2 seconds left from just past midfield, Ponder’s Hail Mary fell several yards short of the goal line incomplete as Dallas survived to get to 5-4 in the NFC Least. 27-23 Cowboys
New Orleans Saints at New York Jets—The Jets are a different team at home, beating New England before going on the road and getting blasted by 40 points by Cincy. Back at home, Nick Folk hit a 39 yard field goal to make it 3-0 Jets. Yet the Saints have Drew Brees, who plays well anywhere. A 51 yard touchdown bomb to Jimmy Graham made it 7-3 Saints in the second quarter.
The Jets got the ball at their own 4, moved back to the 2, and saw Chris Ivory break off a 52 yard run. Yet 1st and goal at the 4 yield only one more yard as an 11 play, 93 yard, 5 minute drive netted only a 21 yard field goal as the Jets trailed 7-6. Yet Brees quickly came back to Graham for a 10 yard touchdown to make it 14-6 Saints.
The Jets kept it close as Ivory ran it in from 3 yards out to get the Jets within 14-13. Then Brees was intercepted just before the 2 minute warning to give Gang Green the ball at the Saints 39. Geno Smith ran it in from 3 yards out as it was the Jets with the 20-14 halftime lead.
In the third quarter Folk added a 47 yard field goal as the Jets smelled upset with the 23-14 lead. Garrett Hartley drilled a 55 yard field goal to get the Saints within 23-17 after three quarters. Yet Folk hit his fourth field goal from 45 yards out as the Jets led 26-17 with 12 minutes left in regulation.
The Saints would get another field goal and get it back deep in their own territory with a chance to win it. Yet on 4th and 19 from their own 9, Brees was harassed into another incompletion as the Jets got to 5-4 with another tough win. Rex Ryan is now 5-0 against brother Rob Ryan. 26-20 Saints.
Tennessee Titans at St. Louis Rams—The Jeff Fisher Bowl saw his old team take it to his new team early as Shon Greene ran it in from 5 yards out to make it 7-0 Titans. In the second quarter Kellen Clemens led a 12 play, 80 yard, 8 minute drive as Zac Stacy ran it in from 3 yards out to tie the game 7-7.
The third quarter saw deja vu for the Rams as Clemens moved them 80 yards in 10 plays and 6 minutes with Stacy running it in from 9 yards out to make it 14-7 Rams. Chris Johnson ran it in for a 14 yard touchdown to tie the game 14-14.
Jake Locker led the Titans 71 yards in 10 plays and 5 minutes, running it in himself the final five yards to put the Titans up 21-14 midway through the fourth quarter. Clemens quickly brought the Rams back as a 10 yard touchdown to Jared Cook had the game tied for the third time 21-21 with 6 minutes to play.
With 3 minutes left in regulation, Clemens went back to pass on 3rd and 7 from his own 24. He was sacked and fumbled, giving the Titans the ball at the Rams 19. One play was all Johnson needed to run into the end zone and put the Titans in front.
The Rams got it back at their own 39 with 50 seconds to play. A 25 yard completion to Givens gave the Rams 2 Hail Mary chances from the Titans 26. Both tries were incomplete as the Rams lost a heartbreaker at home for the second time in six days and Mike Munchak saw the Titans take another step forward. 28-21 Titans
San Diego Chargers at Washington Redskins—RGIII led a 16 play drive that consumed over 9 minutes. The result was a blocked field goal. Early in the second quarter RGIII went back to pass from his own end zone. His pass was batted in the air, bounced off another defender’s shoulder pads and helmet, and was somehow amidst a scrum intercepted in the end zone for a gift Chargers touchdown as San Diego led 7-0 lead.
In the second quarter Alfred Morris broke off a 26 yard run and then took it in from 5 yards out to tie the game. Yet Philip Rivers brought the Chargers back 85 yards as a 15 yard touchdown to Eddie Royal make it 14-7 Chargers. On the last play of the half a 59 yard field goal try by the Redskins saw their second blocked kick in three attempts.
In the third quarter Washington moved 74 yards as a one yard run by Darrel Young tied the game 14-14. Washington did it again as an 11 play, 79 yard, 8 minute drive meant another one yard Young run and 21-14 Redskins lead early in the fourth quarter. Rivers was intercepted with 11 minutes left to play. Despite 2 blocked kicks, Kai Forbath hit a 47 yarded with 7 minutes left in regulation to give the Redskins breathing room up 24-14.
Rivers came back and got the Chargers within 24-21 with 4:16 to play with a 16 yard touchdown to Keenan Allen. The Redskins punted, and the Chargers took over at their own 8 just before the 2 minute warning.
Rivers put on a clinic, hitting Eddie Royal for 21, Danny Woodhead for 8, and Allen for gains of 22, 20 and 11. On 2nd and 1 from the Washington 6, Rivers hit Woodhead, who dove for the pylon. The referees signaled touchdown with 20 seconds to play as the Chargers went wild. Yet on further review it was correctly ruled that Woodhead hit the pylon with his knee and not the ball. The Chargers still had 1st and goal at the one.
Three plays later, and now it was 4th and goal at the one with time for one more play. Mike McCoy had seen enough, and opted for the field goal. Nick Novak sent the game into overtime.
The Redskins got the ball first and RGIII led them down the field. Everything came down to 3rd and inches at the San Diego 5. Under the current overtime rules, a field goal would still allow San Diego one possession with the ball but a touchdown would not. Darrelle Young got the carry and blasted into the end zone to end the game as Mike Shanahan pumped his fists. 30-24 Redskins
Philadelphia Eagles at Oakland Raiders—Almost every time in the last few years where the Raiders had a chance to get back to .500 and respectability, they have blown it. Today they had a chance at home against a struggling Eagles squad playing without Michael Vick.
Instead Nick Foles ripped the Raiders early and often. A 10 play, 84 yard drive ended with a 2 yard touchdown pass to Captain Morgan Brent Celek to make it 7-0 Eagles. Terrelle Pryor hit Rod Streater on a short pass that became a 66 yard gain. Yet at the 6 yard line the drive died and the Raiders settled for a 24 yard Sebastian Janikowski field goal and a 7-3 deficit.
In the second quarter Foles went to Riley Cooper for touchdowns of 17 and 63 yards as the Eagles led 21-3. Rashad Jennings ran it in from 8 yards out to get the Raiders within 21-10. Yet Foles threw his fourth touchdown pass of the first half, a 15 yarder to Zach Ertz to make it 28-10 Eagles. Seabass would hit another field goal as the Raiders trailed 28-13 at halftime.
In the third quarter Foles turned the game into a carpet-bombing. He threw touchdown passes of 25 yards to Lesean McCoy, 46 yards to Desean Jackson, and then back to Cooper for a 5 yarded. He tied the NFL record for 7 touchdown passes that was done in the 1960s by Joe Kapp and not tied until the season opener this year by Peyton Manning. Foles did this by completing 22 of his first 27 passes, and this was only in three quarters worth of work as Philly led 49-13.
Trailing by 36 points in the fourth quarter, the Raiders managed a garbage time touchdown to make the team 7 points less pathetic. A chance to get to 4-4 is now a 3-5 team that remain losers. As for Chip Kelly, he may have a quarterback controversy. 49-20 Eagles
Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Seattle Seahawks—The pathetic 0-7 Buccaneers traveled on the road to take on the 7-1 Seahawks as Seattle again had a chance to win 73-0. Yet early on the biggest NFL upset in years was taking place. Mike Glennon led a 90 yard drive that finished with a 12 yard touchdown to Tim Wright in the second quarter. Glennon then went to Tiquan Underwood for a 20 yard touchdown as Tampa Bay led 14-0 over a stunned home crowd.
Stunned turned to shellshocked when Seattle fumbled the ensuing kickoff to set Tampa up at the Seattle 31. A 27 yard completion to Wright led to a 2 yard touchdown pass by James to Crabtree as Tampa Bay led 21-0. Seattle finally woke up as Russell Wilson hit Jermaine Kearse for a 16 yard score to get the Seahawks within 21-7 with only 1:45 left in the half.
A 33 yard Ryan Lindell field goal in the third quarter extended the Bucs lead to 24-7, and the question would be if they would collapse. Wilson led an 86 yard drive and ran the final 10 yards himself to get Seattle within 24-14. Late in the third quarter a 71 yard punt return by Golden Tate had Seattle at the Tampa 25. Seconds into the fourth quarter, a 36 yard field goal by Steve Hauschka had the Seahawks within 24-17.
Wilson kept firing, and a 10 yard touchdown to Doug Baldwin tied the game with only 1:51 to play. Tampa Bay could not move the ball as what was supposed to be one of the biggest mismatches of the year was going into overtime tied 24-24.
In overtime, the Buccaneers began by running three plays and losing six yards. After a punt, Seattle took over at their own 40. The inevitable occurred as Hauschka hit the 27 yard field goal to win the game, get Seattle to an NFC best 8-1, and drop Tampa to 0-8 in Greg Schiano’s second and final season as an NFL head coach. 27-24 Seahawks, OT
Baltimore Ravens at Cleveland Browns—This once grudge match is now an underachieving team against a hapless team. Yet the lovable losers got the lead first as Jason Campbell hit Davone Bess for a one yard touchdown to make it 7-0 Browns. Justin Tucker would hit a 51 yard field goal to get the Ravens on the board. In the second quarter Campbell went back to Bess for a 20 yard score to make it 14-3 Browns.
With just over one minute left in the half, Joe Flacco led the Ravens 67 yards. A 19 yard touchdown to Marlon Brown with 15 seconds left in the half had Baltimore within 14-10. In the third quarter the Ravens fumbled a punt, giving Cleveland the ball at the Baltimore 11. Campbell hit Barnidge for a 4 yard touchdown to make it 21-10 Browns.
Flacco went back to Brown for a 7 yard touchdown and the 2 point conversion as Baltimore got within 21-18 with 12 minutes left in regulation. Campbell would lead a time consuming drive took 15 plays, gained 67 yards, and ate 6 1/2 minutes off the clock. The Browns got no further than the 4 yard line, but a 22 yard Billy Cundiff field goal put the Browns up by 6 with only 14 seconds left to play. Flacco had 2 plays and moved the Ravens from their 20 to just past midfield, but the clock ran out before the cannon-armed Flacco could try the Hail Mary. One year after winning it all, Baltimore is 3-5 and in trouble. 24-18 Browns
Pittsburgh Steelers at New England Patriots—The 2-6 Steelers traveled to take on the 6-2 Patriots in what was expected to be a major mismatch. New England had 4th and goal at the one, and Bolden got the carry. Initially ruled a touchdown, it was reversed. Yet Pittsburgh jumped offsides. So Bill Bellichick went for it gain, and this time Shawn Ridley got the carry and ran into a black and gold brick wall as the game stayed scoreless.
Yet Ben Roethlisberger was then intercepted at the Pittsburgh 34. One play and 6 seconds later Tom Brady hit Danny Amendola for the touchdown to make it 7-0 Patriots. In the second quarter Brady put New England up 14-0 with a 19 yard touchdown to Rob Gronkowski. Shawn Suisham hit a 30 yard field goal to get Pittsburgh on the board midway through the second quarter. A short Stephen Gostkowskifield goal with 4 minutes left in the half made it 17-3 Patriots.
Big Ben hit Antonio Brown for a 27 yard touchdown at the 2 minute warning to get Pittsburgh within 17-10. Yet Brady brought the Patriots right back, and Ridley crashed in from one yard out with 13 seconds left in the half to make it 24-10 Patriots.
Roethlisberger played pitch and catch with Jerricho Cotcherry in the third quarter, as touchdown passes of 20 and 8 yards tied the game 24-24. Yet Brady moved the Patriots again, and a 32 yard Stephen Gostkowski field goal put New England on top again 27-24.
One minute into the fourth quarter, Brady’s third touchdown pass of the day was 17 yarder to Aaron Dobson to give the Patriots some breathing room up 34-24. An 8 yard touchdown run by Ridley gave the Patriots the 41-24 lead to put the game on ice. Rothlisberger would throw a third touchdown pass to Cotchery to get Pittsburgh within 10, but Brady net bombs away to Dobson again for an 81 yard score to just kill the Steelers. A short touchdown run by Blount involved him bulling over several Steelers just to make the exclamation point as humiliating as possible. This was the most points Pittsburgh has given up in their team history as they fell to 2-7 and New England got to 7-2 with a bang. 55-31 Patriots
Indianapolis Colts at Houston Texans is the Sunday night game.
Chicago Bears at Green Bay Packers is the Monday night game.
eric
NFL 2013 Week 9 Prequel
An Orange and Pink Halloween: NFL 2013 Week 9 Bettor’s Guide
Normally Halloween is about orange and black, but for the National Football League, throw in a healthy dose of pink for one final day.
October is breast cancer month, and very few things are as ghoulishly scary as cancer.
So as players enjoy the orange and black of All Hallow’s Eve, look for one more game with pink mixed in.
With that, here is the NFL 2013 Week 9 Preview with point spreads courtesy of the Linemakers and all times EST.
eric
A shooting at Los Angeles International Airport on Friday morning used to be the type of event that made Americans recoil in horror. Now, to the detriment of humanity everywhere, far too many people are simply shrugging their shoulders. Murderous rampages are becoming the new normal.
First comes the self-praising news conference.
eric
Today is Sandra Fluke Fake Feminism Friday, dedicated to all the crying, hysterical shrieking women who make Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Lucretia Mott roll over in their graves. This is dedicated to the women who reduce women to crying weaklings and set women’s rights back a few decades.
We have gone from Helen Reddy’s “I am woman, here me roar” to Katy Perry’s “I have breasts, I sing ‘Roar.'” I remember when feminism was about intellect.
Anyway, a Washington, DC federal appeals court struck down the Obamacare contraception mandate, effectively telling Sandra to go Fluke herself. If she did, she would not need birth control to begin with.
Besides, I have seen her. There is not a man alive who would go out with her. My own list of women I would not date consists of Helen Thomas, Joy Behar and Sandra Fluke.
Sandra Fluke is not a fighter for freedom and women’s rights and equality.
She is a parasite who wants free stuff.
Thankfully this appeals court slapped her argument down hard. Given that she is an upper class white girl leading a cushy cakewalk existence, somehow she will be ok. She will probably find some feminized beta male to pay for her free stuff. As long as it is not me, I do not care.
Hopefully the U.S. Supreme Court will protect my wallet from her blood-sucking tentacles. That woman is scarier than anything on Halloween.
This concludes Sandra Fluke Fake Feminism Friday.
eric
If you like your Halloween costume, you can keep it…maybe
If you like your Halloween costume, you can keep your Halloween costume. President Obama will allow you to wear any costume you like, provided it fits within administration guidelines. However, Michelle Obama may be seizing your candy.
eric