Archive for July, 2015

My 2016 presidential announcement

Friday, July 10th, 2015

My 2016 presidential announcement

Today I will be making my presidential announcement regarding the 2016 Election.

This is not the same as my making my decision. That will come later. Today is just my announcement.

I have been mulling a run, if navel gazing while drinking a soda counts as mulling.

I would campaign in South Carolina, Nevada and Florida, but not in Iowa or New Hampshire after Labor Day. I hate cold weather.

I would actually skip Iowa and Nevada Caucuses because I hate committee meetings.

I may have some bimbo eruptions, and I have not decided if I will be creating any new ones in the next few months. If I am, and I still ran, that would make me selfish enough…well, to be a presidential candidate actually.

I would form an exploratory committee, but again, I really hate committees.

I have been consulting with experts, if by experts I mean my friends and if by consulting I mean talking politics with them while watching the ballgame.

I am prepared to promise everything and deliver nothing or promise nothing and deliver everything, whichever sounds better and more believable. Maybe I will deliver less than nothing in keeping with our deficits.

Whatever the issue, I am against it or in favor of it, but most likely choose not to discuss it.

I would not have paid staff. I would run a true grassroots campaign, which I have been told is code for having no popular support.

As for my economic plan, I do not need one. The Wall Street Journal editors really do know everything.

My foreign policy would be about blowing up bad guys and lots of chest thumping. I would hire “The Expendables” to handle this.

There are no naked pictures of me online because when I looked in the mirror a few years back I realized “nobody wants to see this.”

Anyway, I may just flip a coin to make my decision, but I think I know which way I am leaning.

Again, I am much closer to an official decision than I was before, but for now things are still in the announcement stage.

This concludes my announcement. Like all of you, I await my decision.


Raider Nation will always love Ken Stabler

Friday, July 10th, 2015

Raider Nation will always love Ken Stabler



Hillary’s Hubby Bubba far worse than the Coz

Friday, July 10th, 2015

Hillary’s Hubby Bubba far worse than the Coz


Hillary Clinton confuses attending meetings with doing work

Wednesday, July 8th, 2015

Hillary Clinton confuses attending meetings with doing work


My Facebook block list

Tuesday, July 7th, 2015

These waste of human lives are on my Facebook block list. I mention them as a public service so you don’t have to deal with them.

Ahmed Kh Unblock

Alyssa Sepanek Unblock

Amy M K Goldman Unblock

Andrew Schildcrout Unblock

Antonio Reyes Unblock

Benjamin Stockton Unblock

Bev Brown Unblock

Bob Vanderet Unblock

Brad Crystal Unblock

Brian Whitman Unblock

Brock Waddington Unblock

Chrissie Teixeira Ginty Unblock

Count Jeffrey Grimshaw Unblock

Cynthia Dixon Unblock

Dan Gordon Unblock

Dana Quinn Unblock

Daniel A. Sichel Unblock

David Clark Unblock

David Weingast Unblock

Dean Adams Jr. Unblock

Denise Gallie Rollick Unblock

Don Legere Unblock

Donald Lovett Unblock

Doug Chapman Unblock

Doug Manahan Unblock

Drew Blakeman Unblock

Duane Kiser Unblock

Elizabeth Leventhal Unblock

Eric Koff Unblock

Erica Fishman Unblock

Erik Passoja Unblock

Eugene McGirt Jr Unblock

Felipe Olave Unblock

Guy Saperstein Unblock

Hal Feinstein Unblock

Henry Fowler Unblock

Isaac Lieberman Unblock

Jack Luber Unblock

Jeff Benson Unblock

Jeff McColly Unblock

Jeremy Buff Unblock

JIm Pestell Unblock

JJ Pearce Unblock

Joanne Bronson Unblock

Joe Adam Unblock

Joel Goodman Unblock

John LiPari Unblock

John Santoianni III Unblock

Jon Michael Van Wyk Unblock

Joyce Deprest Unblock

Justin Kiessling Unblock

KaJe Prate Unblock

Kanchan Mattoo Unblock

Karen Weil Unblock

Ken Johns Unblock

Kira Krupovlyanskaya Unblock

Lance Simmens Unblock

Larf Si Unblock

Larissa Kim Unblock

Larry Brown Unblock

Leslie Chasse Unblock

Link Belmont Unblock

Mandy Crosby Unblock

Mark Gurevich Unblock

Maryellen Huck Unblock

Mathew Burnstein Unblock

Matthew Smith Unblock

Melissa Lawrence Unblock

Michael Branella Unblock

Michael Falcone Unblock

Michael Miller Unblock

Michael Poirier Unblock

Mordechai Luchins Unblock

Neal Cowan Unblock

Nicholas Erickson Unblock

Nick Schaefer Unblock

Nini Sharp Unblock

Pat Mowatt Unblock

Patrick O’Driscoll Unblock

Paul S. Henderson Unblock

Peggy Reilly Unblock

Philip Möndellō Unblock

Randy Barnes Unblock

Reed Bunzel Unblock

Richard Fair Unblock

Richard Turnbow Unblock

Rodney Alton Davis Unblock

Roger Lloyd Unblock

Romie Sidabras Unblock

Russ DiBello Unblock

Sara Brittany Somerset Unblock

Scott Austin Unblock

Shawn Albertson Unblock

Stacey Dinner-Levin Unblock

Susan Corbett Unblock

Terissa Schor Unblock

Thomas Patrick O’Shaughnessy Unblock

Thomas Taylor Unblock

Timothy Bernardi Unblock

Tod Perry Unblock

Todd Shea Unblock

Ty Ferguson Unblock

William Collier Unblock

Yosi Sergant Unblock

Zack Shubb Unblock

You’re welcome, civilized America.


Tony Blair the adult vs Barack Obama the child

Tuesday, July 7th, 2015

Tony Blair the adult vs Barack Obama the child


239 decadent reasons to love America

Monday, July 6th, 2015

There are plenty of serious reasons to love America.

From 1776-2015, here are 239 decadent reasons to love America. God bless the USA.



1980 Olympic Gold Medal Hockey Team
1980s hard rock hair metal
2 Live Crew’s Banned in the USA
7-Eleven Big Gulps and Slurpees
ACDC’s You shook me, Thunderstruck, Moneytalks
Adam Sandler
Airheads band The Lone Rangers
Al D’Amato’s singing
America the Beautiful sung by Ray Charles
American soldiers and veterans
Anthony Clark
Bad Touch’s Discovery Channel
Batman: The Dark Knight
BB King and Lucille
Ben and Jerry’s Cherry Garcia
Biff Henderson
Bill Cosby, Himself video
Bill Murray’s Quick Change
Bill of Rights
Bill the Cat
Blue Collar Comedy Tour
Bluegrass Junction
Bounce houses
Bouncing 25 cent rubber balls
Boxing promoter Don King
Bubblebaths for two
Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck
Burt Reynolds and Dom DeLuise movies
Capture the flag
Cards Against Humanity
Chabad Houses
Charitable people
Cheers’s Sam Mayday Malone and Norm Peterson
Cherry Lime Rickeys
Chocolate covered cherries
Chris Berman
Chris Gardner’s The Pursuit of Happyness
Chris Noth’s Mike Logan
Chris Tucker singing Barry White
Coed touch football
Commando and pantsless Wednesdays (until HR intervened)
Conan O’Brien’s In the Year 2000
Corn Fritters
Cosmic Bowling
County Fairs
Dale Intimidator Earnhardt’s 1998 Daytona 500
Dana Carvey
Dann Florek’s Captain Donald Cragen
David Letterman’s Top Ten Lists
Dennis Farina
Desperate Housewives
Deuce Bigalow, Male Gigolo
Die Hard
DirecTV NFL Package
Dog-riding monkey
Donald Trump’s Apprentice
Dr. Brown’s Black Cherry Soda
Dr. Charles Krauthammer
Duck Dynasty
Edible underthings
Eye of the tiger
Flavored massage oil
Founding Fathers
Fox News
Fraggle Rock
Freedom, liberty, right of dissent
Gaga (dodgeball using closed fist and cherry ball)
Game nights
Garlic knots
Gatorade dumping on coaches
George W. Bush picks up bullhorn
Glow sticks as fake cigars
Golden Corral
GPS trackers
Greg the Bunny
Happy face emoticons
Henny Youngman
Hot Chocolate’s You sexy thing (I believe in miracles)
Hot scantily clad women
Howard Stern
I once finger-(blanked) a hermit crab (whoever said that)
In n Out Burger
Independence Day BBQs
Instant messaging
Internet dating
Italian ices
J. Geils Band’s Centerfold
Jack Nicholson’s Colonel Nathan R. Jessup
Jacuzzi romps
Jell-O wrestling
Jerry Orbach’s Lenny Briscoe
Jerry Reed’s Eastbound and Down
Jim Carrey’s Ace Ventura, Pet Detective
John Cougar Mellencamp’s Pink Houses and Hurts so good
John Facenda’s The Autumn Wind
John McEnroe’s tennis tantrums
Judaism celebrated in peace
Justice Scalia’s scathing dissents
Karl Rove’s whiteboard
KFC Popcorn Chicken
Kim Kardashian’s bare bottom
King of the Hill
Kosher imitation bacon and crab
Krispy Kreme Donut Hamburgers
Larry Hagman’s J.R. Ewing on Dallas
Las Vegas
Lee Greenwood’s God bless the USA and Bandit Express
Louisiana Cajun Cooking (Especially with Justin Wilson)
Lucky Charms
Madden Football
Magnum, P.I.
Mardi Gras, New Orleans
Mark Levin’s rants
Married with Children’s Al Bundy
Marvin Gaye’s Sexual Healing and Let’s get it on
Meat and potatoes
Michael J. Fox’s Alex P. Keaton on Family Ties
Mills Lane yelling Let’s get it on
Miniature golf
Morris Day and the Time’s Jerk Out
Mountain Dew Code Red
MTV’s Celebrity Deathmatch
Murder, She Wrote
Nathan’s Coney Island Hot Dog Eating Contest
National Federation of Republican Women
National Football League
New Years Eve noisemakers
New York Post front and back page
New York Stock Exchange opening and closing bells
NFL Films
NFL Network
Oakland Raiders
Old School with Will Ferrell and Vince Vaughn
Overtime playoff hockey
Pajama parties
Peaceful transition of political power
Phil Hartman
Political Conventions
Pool volleyball
Pro Football Hall of Fame in Canton, Ohio
Queen’s I want it all
Raider Nation
Rainbow Sherbert
Redeye with Greg Gutfeld
Republican Jewish Brunettes
Republican Party Animals
Robin Williams
Ronald Reagan’s self-deprecating jokes 
Rudy Giuliani’s New York toughness
Rush Limbaugh
San Diego Wild Animal Park
Satellite TV
Save a horse, ride a cowboy
Sean Hannity’s Freedom Concerts
Sherman Hemsley’s George Jefferson
Sky high skyscrapers
Slim Jims
Snoopy’s Joe Cool
Snow football
Social networks for building businesses
South Beach, Miami
South Park
Stock trading
Strip chess
Stuart Scott
Summer camp
Super Soakers
Supply-side tax cuts
T-shirt originals
Taco Bell
Talk radio
Thanksgiving with John Madden
The Color of Money
The Counter Build Your Own Burger
The Expendables
The Frat Pack
The Honeymooners
The Muppets
The Onion
Toby Keith’s Courtesy of the Red White and Blue
Train rides
Trampoline Dodgeball
Tygrrrr Express
USA Cartoon Express
Video Arcade Games
We’re not France
Weekend at Bernie’s
Western medicine
Whitesnake’s Here I go again video
Wifi on planes
XM Sirius Satellite Radio
Young Jewish Conservatives
Yummy bouncies and badonkadonks
ZZ Top’s Sleeping Bag and Sharp Dressed Man

Why the USA truly is America the Beautiful

Monday, July 6th, 2015

Why the USA truly is America the Beautiful

My grandparents & dad escaped the Nazis. Everything they had was taken in the Holocaust. My grandfather came to America and washed dishes. He lived in a 1 bedroom apartment and had holes in his socks. My father graduated college, became a schoolteacher, reached the American middle class, and is now retired with my mom living in a home they own outright. I managed to get an advanced degree MBA, become a Vice President in the stockbrokerage industry before going on the speaking circuit that has taken me to all 50 states. I live in a beautiful area and have a good life. I am still only 1/2 the man my grandpa was, but he had so much more to overcome.

Only in America is this dream a reality. I love this country because it has given me everything. My grandfather and father were hunted like dogs. I am free. I get misty eyed when I hear Lee Greenwood sing “God Bless the USA” because it rings truth.

As I watch fireworks tonight and munch on hamburgers and hot dogs, I thank our Founding Fathers, our fallen soldiers, our veterans, and our current soldiers.

I thank almighty God for creating this nation and the late Ray Charles for singing “America, God done shed his grace on thee.”

In any other nation, my story would be uncommon and heroic. My story is ordinary because America is extraordinary and exceptional.

God bless America, now and forever. Thank you America, for allowing a child of Holocaust survivor to experience what we call this American dream.



Election 2016: Chris Christie

Monday, July 6th, 2015

Election 2016: Chris Christie


Hillary’s LGBTQQQ Pride Parade

Monday, July 6th, 2015

Hillary’s LGBTQQQ Pride Parade