This is the story of Alessandra.
Last night with Alessandra was about thirty minutes that will most likely never be repeated. Even being next to her in real life is most likely not going to happen. Yet life is about experiences, memories, and the people who create both of them for us. Even in the worst place on Earth, there can be some good.
eric
The Helen Thomas Top 10 Ugliest Women in Politics
On June 21, 2012, the Top 30 Hottest Political Women of 2012 were unveiled.
Weeks later, hate mail from over-privileged, white college girls from Brandeis who would not know the meaning of oppression poured in.
https://tygrrrrexpress.com/2012/07/the-radical-feminist-brandeis-july-hate-mail-edition/
On Independence Day, the idea to reveal the Top 10 Ugliest Women in Politics was born. To avoid repetition, the methodology was dealt with in great detail.
Here is the official list of the Helen Thomas Top 10 Ugliest Women in Politics.
eric
The Top 10 Ugliest Women in Politics–The Prequel
Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly cuts right to the bone. That is why America will soon have the list of the Top 10 Ugliest Women in Politics.
eric
July hate mail–feminist edition
First came the Top 30 Hottest Women in Politics. Then came the hate mail from spoiled, upper-middle class, over-privileged, white college girls. Here is a special Radical Feminist Brandeis edition of my hate mail.
“Kristina Jacobs
kacobs@brandeis.edu
I am writing with regards to your piece “The Top 30 Hottest Political Women of 2012.” In writing this article and participating in crude, blatant objectification of female politicians, you have belittled these women’s political successes by admiring their physical beauty more diligently than their political strides. Your misogynistic diction – “20 breasts and 20 hides per all three political denominations,” “Not all feminists are hideously ugly” – is extremely offensive. Women will never achieve political equality if articles like yours continue to denigrate their power and skills in the name of “harmless” beauty-based rankings.”
Analysis: Articles like mine can keep women down? If I had that much power, then my jacuzzi would be filled every night with Republican Jewish brunettes. Women who claim they can’t succeed because people like me keep them down are overlooking the fact they may have been failures before I wrote my column.
“Karen Lengler
karenlg@brandeis.edu
I am writing with regards to your piece “The Top 30 Hottest Political Women of 2012.” In writing this article and participating in crude, blatant objectification of female politicians, you have belittled these women’s political successes by admiring their physical beauty more diligently than their political strides. Your misogynistic diction – “20 breasts and 20 hides per all three political denominations,” “Not all feminists are hideously ugly” – is hideously offensive, and certainly serves to discredit the value of your work. Next time, instead of explaining that Kimberly Guilfoyle “bounces in her chair to the music, which she knows drives the male audience insane,” mention her skills and wit as a co-host of The 5. Women will never achieve political equality if articles like yours continue to denigrate their power and skills in the name of “harmless” beauty-based rankings.”
Analysis: Both complainers are college girls at Brandeis. They used the same language. This must be coincidental, but in a classroom it is called cheating. These women lack my ethical and moral compass. The drivel I write is original.
“Carla Smith
csmith@hakins.com
I am appalled by your article (if you could even call it that) "The Top 30 Hottest Political Women of 2012." These women who are on your "list" are important, respected, powerful political women who have worked incredibly hard to receive recognition in a white male's game. Your report disregards their achievements and completely objectifies them. I'm sure these women would feel disgusted and disrespected when/if they read this report. I am extremely disappointed in this article. Find something more worldly to write about.”
Analysis: A white male’s game? I did not mention race in the column. This commenter injected it into the conversation. How dare she discriminate against black men trying to keep women down! How dare she not give credit to the many Hispanic and Asian men honoring their paternalistic cultures by suppressing her! Her fake outrage over incorrectly perceived sexism is no match for my fake outrage over racial and ethnic identity politics of all kinds!
“Hailey Magee
hmagee@brandeis.edu
I am writing with regards to your piece “The Top 30 Hottest Political Women of 2012.” In writing this article and participating in crude, blatant objectification of female politicians, you have belittled these women’s political successes by admiring their physical beauty more diligently than their political strides. Your misogynistic diction – “20 breasts and 20 hides per all three political denominations,” “Not all feminists are hideously ugly” – is hideously offensive, and certainly serves to discredit the value of your work. Next time, instead of explaining that Kimberly Guilfoyle “bounces in her chair to the music, which she knows drives the male audience insane,” mention her skills and wit as a co-host of The 5. Women will never achieve political equality if articles like yours continue to denigrate their power and skills in the name of “harmless” beauty-based rankings.”
Analysis: Another woman at Brandeis offering the same comment? Don’t women at Brandeis do anything of value? No wonder it takes kids 6 years to get through college. They can’t read or write but they can cut and paste.
“Lindsay Ruck
lindsayruck@gmail.com
You're joking right? This is all some sarcastic ploy to show how stupid it would be to rate women by their looks in 2012 and act as though this is a good or empowering thing… Right?”
Analysis: If I was joking I would remark about a priest, a rabbi, and a mountain goat. I am going to put very little effort into this commenter and just make an immature remark. To paraphrase the dog from “The Jetsons,” Lindsay, go Ruck yourself.
“Gloria Stepp
gloria@gloriastepp.com
The Top 30 Hottest Political Women of 2012
Pathetic.”
Analysis: One word for you Gloria: Venderschwivel. Hey, it’s as good a word as any, and could be a triple word score.
“Marta De Angulo
martadeangulo@gmail.com
I am terribly disappointed at your recent article “The Top 30 Hottest Political Women of 2012”, where you dehumanize women by rating them and objectifying them. I hope your future writings give women the respect and dignity that they deserve.”
Analysis: I respect women. If you want to know who undermines women, look in the mirror. I have no power unless you give it to me. Let me try testing this. Show up at my door with a hamburger and a remote control. Be a Republican Jewish brunette. Be hot, since I will not be listening to you while focusing on the burger and the ballgame. I don’t want power over you. With power comes responsibility, and the last thing I want is to be responsible for you. I’m not Barack Obama.
“Lynda Julie
lyndajulie55@yahoo.com
Hello Mr. Golub,
I'm curious to know when you'll be publishing your "2012 list of the Top 30 Political Men"?
Thank you,
Ms. Meier”
Analysis: Ok, this woman was polite so politeness begets more politeness (the other commenters could learn from her).
Female colleagues of mine will be doing a column of the hottest men in politics. They offered to put me on the list, but I pointed out that would make the list invalid.
I am also willing to put out a list of people I have man-crushes on, but everybody knows I swoon over Charles Krauthammer, Thomas Sowell, Steve Moore, and a few others. Like most people, I look at Paul Ryan and Mitt Romney and think, “no man should be that handsome.”
“Anna Brower
brower_backfat@yahoo.com
You're a sexist asshole.”
Analysis: To be called a rumpus hole by a woman with the term “backfat” in her email address is just creepy. Perhaps if this woman did not have backfat, I and other men would be more interested. Now if it was a badonkadonk, that would be different. Those I like. A lot.
“Maya Flippen
maya.flippen@duke.edu
Your political women article is disgusting–encouraging people to objectify women in power. You should feel ashamed of yourself.”
Analysis: I feel a sense of shame for so many things, from the Macaroni Incident of 2007 (too painful to talk about) to my left leg that no longer tingles when Chris Matthews French-kisses pictures of Barack Obama. It use to feel so beautiful, but now in High-Def it just looks creepy.
The worst part of the social networking generation is that kids smart enough to get into Duke now waste their lives away talking to girls at Brandeis.
“Margaret Thomas
aria_95@yahoo.com
Mr. Golub,
Do not expect people to demonstrate any positive regard for your work as a journalist / pundit if your best efforts at contributing to political dialog entail evaluating the physical appearance of female candidates for office. These women are running for office on the basis of their professional credentials and stance on core issues facing their constituent territories, not as pageant runway contestants. If that is the best you have to offer, may your media career be short-lived.
– Margaret Thomas
Stillwater, MN”
Analysis: To steal a line from Fred Thompson, I am deeply offended and insulted that this woman would call me a member of the media. I have done radio off and on for over two decades, and I still reject the label. So I guess short-lived is too late. The best I have to offer is not for you. Only a much higher class of women get to reject that.
Forget Paulbots today. These are leftist feminists. This how they behave.
Based on personality alone, these women seem uglier than a Helen Thomas centerfold where the naughty bits are covered by shrapnel from Palestinian suicide bombers.
I think I just disgusted myself with that remark. Maybe these college girls complaining were right all along.
No, not really.
eric
Will feminists ever stop harping? (of course not)
Will feminists ever complain about anything important?
Is there a single feminist anywhere in this country who is complaining about anything important?
Do feminists even realize that their entire movement is the child of a cliche mated with a caricature? If they know this, do they even care?
So to the radical feminists out there, start focusing on what actually matters.
eric
The Top 120 Political Yummy Bouncies of 2012
Welcome to the first day of Summer, June 21st. That can only mean one thing. It is time for the 2012 list of the Top 120 Political Yummy Bouncies.
Warning: Parental advisory: Explicit lyrics and pics.
For those who want the clean, sanitized version, The Top 30 Political Women of 2012, here it is.
Now for the in the raw, uncensored version.
When high finance meets high society, we get finance movies such as “Stocks and Blondes,” where the woman is covered only in the ticker tape. Yet even more powerful than the cocktail of sex and Wall Street comes in the mixture of sex and politics.
It is in that spirit that I have compiled the list of the Top 120 Political Yummy Bouncies.
Technically this is not much different from listing the top 30 hottest political women, except that the focus is on their T and A.
From the front, I dream of playing sexual volleyball, bouncing them vigorously. From the backside, I hope to play Sir Mixalot’s “Baby Got Back,” while giving them the ketchup bottle treatment.
For those wondering why the girl I like is not on the list, the answer is simple. I value my existence. There is not a woman on earth that compares to her in my opinion. Her body is a temple, and I hope to enjoy worshiping at her altar. Yep, her holy grail is quite holy indeed.
Nevertheless, I had a life before encountering her, which basically consisted of uncontrollable sobbing knowing that the women on this list were not mine. To the best of my knowledge, I have had sex with none of them.
Compiling the list was more difficult than I expected. I thought the trouble would be narrowing the list. The reverse was the case. To even find that many women that caught my attention were rare. Politics is mostly powerful bald white guys, and I have never been attracted to the cue ball look.
The list has been divided into the top 10 liberals, centrists, and conservatives. Given that they were all anatomically correct, this added up to 20 breasts and 20 hides per all three political denominations.
Pictures of all of the women are included, but because they were all fully dressed in the pictures, some would say that makes the exercise pointless.
Several of these women are over 40, and even in some cases over 50. So what? Hot is hot.
Some women were left off of the list because they are so hot that it keeps others from having a chance. Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann winning the presidency or even the nomination would have merited the top spot. They are great ladies, and will absolutely return very soon to this list.
Michelle Malkin remains off of the list because I am still afraid of her.
Mary Katherine Ham has kept a lower profile, but could easily return next year. Andrea Tantaros is forever stunning but her Fox News co-hosts deserved their turn. Plus, there was an overload of Greek goddesses this year.
Ann Romney was left off of the list because I do not want to have President Mitt Romney sending predator drones up my rumpus. Ann Romney is a great lady and an inspiring woman who should be admired by all. Call off the dogs and the Secret Service, Governor Romney.
Shannon Doherty has a lifetime beauty award. The moment she gets back into politics, she rockets to the top because she is Shannon Doherty.
With that, here are the lists from 2008, 2009, 2010, and 2011.
2011: https://tygrrrrexpress.com/2011/06/the-top-120-political-yummy-bouncies-of-2011/
2010: https://tygrrrrexpress.com/2010/06/the-top-120-political-yummy-bouncies-of-2010/
2009: https://tygrrrrexpress.com/2009/06/the-top-120-political-yummy-bouncies-of-2009/
2008: https://tygrrrrexpress.com/2008/06/the-top-120-political-yummy-bouncies/
Now, without further delay I bring the Top 120 Political Yummy Bouncies of 2012.
Conservatives/Republicans:
10.) The New Media Goddesses–Social networking has brought a bey of new beauties onto the scene.
Tabitha Hale is on the Freedomworks circuit.
Bettina Inclan is the RNC Director of Hispanic Outreach.
Dana Loesch works for the Breitbart entities.
Amanda Read writes for the Communities at the Washington Times.
http://littlemissattila.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/tabitha.jpg
http://static5.businessinsider.com/image/4fa01275ecad04b451000007/bettina-inclan.jpg
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/5/54/Portrait_of_Dana_Loesch_.jpg
http://amandaread.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/DEphotoshoot4.jpg
9.) A pair of youthful Republican ladies are all grown up.
Dee Dee Benkie is the former President of the National Federation of Young Republicans. Now she is the National Committeewoman from Indiana.
Julia Hurley is a former Hooters waitress who is now a member of the Tennessee Legislature.
http://www.gop.com/mowbios/IN_Benkiephoto.jpg
http://gillreport.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/Julia-Hurley-Rope.jpg
8.) Fox News Legal Bombshells: There are so many Fox News lovelies, but this the year where a couple of prosecutors get their due after being incorrectly overlooked in the past.
Megyn Kelly lays down the law during the day.
Kimberly Guilfoyle is a co-host of The 5. She bounces in her chair to the music, which she knows drives the male audience insane.
http://diary-lifestyles.blogspot.com/2011/01/kimberly-guilfoyle-net-worth.html
7.) Kelly Ayotte–The United States Senator from New Hampshire is a rising star from a political and beauty standpoint.
http://images.politico.com/global/twentyten/100805_ayotte_ap_328.jpg
6.) Sethrida Greagea–This rabid right winger is the head of the Lebanon Forces Party. Her husband spent time in jail, and she is a determined warrior.
http://yalibnan.com/site/archives/2005/06/img/elections%20north%20strida%20geagea%203.jpg
5.) Pam Bondi–The Florida Attorney General is a tough as nails prosecutor who simply looks stunning. She is the lead plaintiff in the fight to derail Obamacare. If the Supreme Court overturns the law, she will rocket up this list next year.
http://media.miamiherald.com/smedia/2012/03/28/21/13/bCN43.Em.56.jpg
4.) Lisa Roper–The National Federation of Republican Women is the only reason the GOP ever wins anything as long as we live. Many of these ladies refer to themselves as “blue hairs,” but Lisa Roper is proof that the NFRW is getting younger and hotter. She is a member of the leadership, which the NFRW and men everywhere should be happy about.
http://www.nfrw.org/images/board/roper.jpg
3.) Victoria Delaguerra Seaman–She just ran for the Nevada Assembly. She lost by exactly nine votes, and now there is a recount. If only men could vote she would win by a landslide.
http://victoriafornevada.com/home
2.) Mara Carfagna–This former topless dancer entered politics. So who brought her to power? Who else? Bunga Bunga Sex Partier Silvio Berlusconi. Ms. Carfagna is the Italian Minister for Equal Opportunity. Do not be fooled by the title. Most people have zero opportunity to date her or have her job. She is one of the most beautiful women on Earth, and missed out on the top spot due to a very unique situation.
http://guy.com/a/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/MaraCarfagna3.jpg
1.) Rebecca Kleefisch–The Lieutenant Governor of Wisconsin faced a recall election with Governor Scott Walker. A loss would have hurt her on this list, but the decisive victory merits the top spot. The crush most men have on her is nothing compared to the crushing blow her win did to the public sector unions. They are as hellacious as she is heavenly. A top enemy of the left deserves to be the top of any list of loveliness.
http://www.rebeccaforreal.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/badger-tee-close.jpg
Centrists/Independents:
10.) Angela Gerekou–She is a member of the Greek Parliament and is also their Tourism Minister. The country would not be broke if more people knew about her.
http://eu.greekreporter.com/files/45.jpg
9.) Christa Markwalder–This Switzerland Liberal is actually a centrist, since Switzerland liberals are actually Libertarians.
http://www.wahlkampfblog.ch/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/christa_markwalder1_500_2011.jpg
8.) Yuri Fujikawa is a Japanese City Councilwoman. She had a life before politics, and the pictures show it to be a fascinating one.
http://hrudu.files.wordpress.com/2008/09/5eef48b2.jpg
7.) Nicole Petallides is a Fox Business beauty who gets paid to distract people from all of their market losses. With that look, she succeeds.
http://img3806.imagevenue.com/images/loc385/14686_hot_Nicole_Petallides_122_385lo_122_385lo.jpg
6.) Lauren Simonetti is another Fox Business beauty. The function is the same, and just as effective. The Doublemint Twins are now brunettes working for Fox Business. No wonder business is good.
http://static8.businessinsider.com/image/4fa7e4706bb3f79f44000004-400-300/lauren-simonetti.jpg
5.) Joanna Mucha is a member of the Polish Lower House. Poland does get overlooked from time to time, but now we know why it was so important for the Berlin Wall to come down.
http://d.wiadomosci24.pl/g2/a6/cb/a6/87718_1233345826_a8d3_p.jpeg
4.) Emma Kiernan is a young politico in Ireland. For some reason images of bangers and mash keep occurring, but that could be related to England only and not Ireland. Either way, rumors of the conflict in Northern Ireland being fought over her may or may not be true.
http://scamstop.files.wordpress.com/2009/05/emma_kiernan_facebook.jpg
3.) Kendra Carter is a rabid Ron Paul supporter who is one of the young guns helping to seize the GOP from the establishment. In her 20s and with several tattoos, she somehow comes across as different from so many of the other Paul supporters who face criticism. It could be her body. She is the Secretary of the Yellowstone County Republican Central Committee, the largest such group of its kind in Montana. She could storm the Mountain West just by flashing her eyes at people. Yet an extreme situation kept her out of the top spot.
2.) Erin Burnett works for CNN, which is why many people have not heard of her. If she left CNN their audience would approach absolute zero. She is a goddess of beauty and the only thing left at the last place Cable News Network worth focusing on.
http://freeimagesarchive.com/data/media/203/1_erin+burnett.jpg
1.) Colombian Call Girls–The Secret Service Scandal that rocked the White House is just another example of why women control this world. To prevent this scandal from happening again, the only solution is to ban men from becoming Secret Service agents. The whole point of having access to power is to gain access to sizzling South American women.
http://www.nypost.com/p/news/international/secret_service_pre_planned_party_rAI8n0Hyn8O3clKcN5vNCL
Liberals/Democrats:
10.) A pair of new media feminists. Not all feminists are hideously ugly.
Jill Filipovic is the woman behind the Feministe site.
Jessica Valenti started an in your face site entitled Feministing. Draw your own conclusions. Be afraid of these women. Be very afraid.
http://www.feministe.us/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/09/dsc02616_2.jpg
http://register-her.com/images/6/6f/Valenti-hatemonger.jpg
9.) Julia Bonk–This Germany legislator entered the political arena at age 18. Now she is 24 and her career is blossoming, among other things.
http://www.alletop10lijstjes.nl/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/Julia-Bonk.jpg
8.) A pair of Kirstens.
Kirsten Gillibrand is the junior Senator from New York. Any woman looks lovely compared to Chuck Schumer, but she is a beauty in her own right.
Kirsten Powers used to date Anthony Weiner. Now she that rare breed, a liberal Democrat who actually calls out her own side when they cross the line. Integrity is a very hot quality.
http://www.gillibrand.senate.gov/imo/media/image/newenergy.png
7.) Julie Roginsky–There are plenty of Democratic strategists, but she is one of the most tenacious. She looks hot when she does her righteous indignation pose, which is frequently.
http://images.politico.com/global/arena/101001_roginsky_376.jpg
6.) Stephanie Miller is the founder of the Sexy Liberal Comedy Tour. While it may be just a bunch of anti-Palin and anti-Bush jokes, perhaps she is better than most liberal comedians. To call oneself sexy requires backing it up. She does.
http://stuffboston.com/media/1773237/GetOut_stephanie-miller-2.jpg
5.) Margie Omero is another Democratic strategist. She takes a more pleasant approach, but still gets her points across effectively. Her looks do not hurt in this regard.
http://www.momentumdc.com/images/pic_margie_new.jpg
4.) Tamara Holder is a bleeding heart defense attorney who actually cares for the people she represents. Her unpretentiousness and lack of phoniness makes her a rare breed in the legal arena. She is also quite easy on the eyes.
http://www.theholderposition.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/2011-Feb1-Hannity-j.png
3.) Leslie Marshall is a liberal radio host. She may be the hottest liberal radio host, but with competition from Ed Schultz and Alan Colmes that is not too tough. She is a fierce debater. Her verbal combat skills are matched only by her pleasant nature and warm smile.
http://www.allaccess.com/assets/img/editorial/raw/lm/lmarshall.jpg
2.) Alina Kabaeva has lit up Russia. In 2011 she was rumored to be romantically involved with Vladimir Putin. Now she is a member of the Russian legislature. She belongs to…what else? Of course, the pro-Putin party. Her eyes could kill, but people should fear her alleged boyfriend even more.
http://www.mostbeautifulwoman.com/athletes/AlinaKabaeva/images/pic02.jpg
1.) A pair of Evas reign supreme.
Eva Longoria rocketed to stardom on Desperate Housewives. The entire first season of the show was about her frolicking around in her underwear. Yet this Latin sex goddess played Gabriele Solis, a vapid woman who got by on her looks. She announced after the show ended that she would dedicate the next few months solely to helping reelect President Obama. Sadly, art may be imitating life.
Eva Kaili is a Greek member of Parliament. The country is going down in flames, but she is a raging beauty among the financial carnage. Greece is known for the Acropolis and the Olympics. Now it is know for her.
http://www4.slikomat.com/11/0511/91-4.jpg
Staring at all of these women can be exhausting. A nap is now in order. Time to count sheep, or in my case, a certain brunette’s apolitical yummy bouncies. 4…8…12…zzzzzzzzzz
eric
Today is total and complete Nonsense Tuesday. This is where stories that deserve short shrift are given short shrift.
I just got off of a plane last night after 6 weeks on the road. So exhaustion is the culprit for me “mailing it in” today, although some would say I do that every day.
So let’s get to stories that others hyperventilate about that I can barely care about.
My work is done. Time to go back to sleep. This concludes Total and Complete Nonsense Tuesday.
eric
Farewell, Desperate Housewives.
After eight years, the ladies of Wisteria Lane said goodbye with a bang.
eric
Dear Mom,
I love you very, very much. You are the best mother a guy could possibly ask for. Although you and I live on separate coasts, you are in my thoughts and prayers often.
Mom, I know you hear this far too often, but I have a dilemma, one of those life altering issues you are so good at helping me with.
I am in Milwaukee, Wisconsin today and nowhere near a television set. Do you know anybody in Milwaukee showing Desperate Housewives tonight?
I know you do not watch the show, and I am not sure if you know a single person in Wisconsin. However, you know everything. The depth, width, and breadth of your knowledge astounds me.
Anyway, after eight years Desperate Housewives is coming to a conclusion. This is the series finale. Finale is Spanish for finale. I think it is finito in Italian and fini in Spain. In English that means done.
I tried finding the information myself but the internet did not want to cooperate.
I went on Craigs List and typed in Desperate Housewives. Stuff came up that young men from good families should not even know about, much less do. You don’t want to know.
The sportsbar I am typing this at will not be showing the finale. They are showing sports instead, as bizarre as that sounds.
I am posting this on Facebook, but you do not go on there. So hopefully you will read my column today and spring into action.
The fate of Gaby Solis, Lynette Sciavo, Susan Delfino, and Bree Van DeKamp could be affected if I do not watch. You most likely have no idea who those people are. They are played by Eva Longoria, Felicity Huffman, Teri Hatcher, and Marcia Cross. They live on Wisteria Lane.
I already placed calls into Goveror Scott Walker, Lt Governor Rebecca Kleefisch, and Congressman Paul Ryan to see if they knew if anybody in Milwaukee owned a tv set. I have not heard back from them yet. They may be busy.
Anyway mom, see what you can do to fix this like you fix everything else. I will let you know what happens in the finale as well as the NBA and NHL playoffs. After all, I know how much you care about that stuff.
Thank you for your help and your neverending supply of love.
I love you mom.
I would say more but if I am going to find a complete stranger willing to let me watch their tv set, I had better start now.
eric
Happy Cinco De Mayo Kentucky Derby Jewish Sabbath Day!
Saturday May 5th, of 2012 is a day where various cultures should realize we really are all the same. It is the Kentucky Derby, Cinco De Mayo, and the Jewish Sabbath.
eric
