THE TYGRRRR EXPRESS

Jimmy Carter will soon be traveling to the Middle East to meet with a leader of Palestinian terrorist group Hamas. Upon shaking hands with this particular genocidal Arab, Mr. Carter should be promptly arrested, brought back to the United States, and sent to jail until he can be given his right to a speedy trial.

I want to make it clear that Mr. Carter’s being a liberal is not my issue with him. His being an anti-semite, which yes folks, he absolutely is, is not the issue. He has freedom of speech, which involves the right to support group hatred in the great traditions of David Duke, Louis Farrakhan, and Robert Byrd in his younger years.

Jimmy Carter should be arrested solely based on one criteria, that being his willingness to violate the law.

This is worse than Nancy Pelosi’s trip to Syria to wear a burkha and sip tea with the world’s dumbest opthamologist, Bashar Assad. As awful as that trip was, it was authorized. It was politically unwise, but it was legal. Syria is a state sponsor of terrorism, but they are a nation.

Hamas is not a nation. It is a band of guerrilla fighters that wants to kill every Jew everywhere in the world. Israel is “Little Satan.” Once they destroy Israel, they can then implement Hitler’s “final solution” by attacking the “Great Satan,” that being the United States.

If this scares the hell out of people, well it should.

It was bad enough when America’s worst President Jimmy Carter decided to coddle Yassir Arafat. However, Mr. Arafat, while a terrorist, was given diplomatic status by certain misguided individuals that believed he was in favor of making peace. There are no such delusions about Hamas. No civilized people see Hamas as anything other than bloodthirsty killers.

There is no justification for Mr. Carter’s trip. At least when Nancy Pelosi went to Syria, she was almost connected to something relevant. If a left wing nut case had carried out on their verbal threats and murdered President Bush and Vice President Cheney, she would be setting policy. Mr Carter is a private citizen who is violating the law by doing business with a terrorist entity.

What happens if Hamas plans a terrorist action while Mr. Carter is in the vicinity? Should he be collateral damage? Or should Israel show restraint solely because a man who used to be important to a plurality of Americans 30 years ago happens to stumble in the way with the grace of Inspector Clouseau?

The Bush Doctrine states that anyone that aids, abets, or harbors terrorists is a terrorist. If we are in the same room with a terrorist, we are supposed to either kill them, arrest them, or at the very least, tattle tale on them. We are not supposed to break bread with them.

Jimmy Carter has a right to free speech. He has the right to socialize with whoever he pleases provided that they are not a criminal on the most wanted list of democracies around the globe.

If Jimmy Carter wants to stand at the local Federal Building and hold up signs condemning everything that is right with America, he can do that. If he wants to travel to the Middle East and meet with actual rulers, such as the Palestinian legislators, he can do that. He can meet with Saeb Ekerat, and they can have a verbal competition on who hates Jews more.

Americans are banned from dealing with Hamas. This extends to all Americans. Any private citizen breaking this law should be punished. Jimmy Carter should not get an exemption simply because he has a familiar face.

Giving aid and comfort to the enemy is not a phrase to be said lightly . Nevertheless, we are at war. Meeting with our enemies is illegal unless our government sanctions the trip.

Nancy Pelosi made an idiotic but legal decision. Jimmy Carter decided to place himself above the law.

If Mr. Carter retracts his decision and his mission, then he should be free to spout his hate speech with his fellow bigots. That should always remain repugnant, and legal.

If Mr. Carter insists on breaking the law, then the full weight of the law should crack down on him. He must be given a fair trial, and he absolutely should be given reasonable bail. As a misguided but nonviolent offender, remand might be too harsh. He is not a flight risk.

Yet he must be processed. The idea that he is too old, or too important, or that arresting him would result in a flood of support for him, is as irrelevant as he is.

The minute he steps off the plane and kisses the animal that will greet him, he should be detained.

One could make an argument that it would be better just to ban him from returning to the United States, but he would then do his imitation of Suha Arafat, living the high life like the despot lover he is.

It does not have to be this way. Mr. Carter could allow common sense to enter his life for the very first time, and simply decide not to cavort and frolic with terrorists. The choice is his and his alone, as are the consequences.

eric

Andy Rooney once said that he was often most embarrassed by people who agreed with him.

I am more dismayed by people who think they agree with me, although not as mortified as they would be when they find out I do not agree with them.

Yes, I am romantically involved with the Chicago Cannonball, and yes, she is politically liberal. She is a bright woman, and I am lucky. She is reasonable, clear thinking, and tolerant. I wish other liberals would learn from her.

It is not liberalism I object to most. It is stupidity. I respect intelligence, and have no patience for intellectual laziness.

I encountered an individual that is bizarre even by leftist standards. The guy linked to one of my columns, and when I looked at their site, I was stunned.

The column I wrote was entitled “General Petraeus, Please tell the entire truth.”

Somebody that was too lazy to read the column would assume I was against General David Petraeus and the War. They would be part of the lunatic fringe that refers to him in terms so disgusting only a Moveon cancer could love. A person who read the article would see it as a full throttled endorsement of the War in Iraq, and the General leading the counterinsurgency.

The fellow that linked to me has a blog called “The Lang Report.” While the blog is garbage, I do confess that at least the colors are pretty. I have decided not to provide the link because I am not in the habit of spreading hate speech, regardless of the forum. It also contains foul language, which I ban from my blog in an attempt to keep the discourse as civilized as possible.

The mission statement of the blog tells the entire story.

“The conscience of The Lang Report was born in the turbulent 60’s as that generation began to question everything desiring to build a better world. As our “pen is mightier than our sword”, we wield it to educate and stimulate our readers in an effort to spark solution-based dialogues. We believe that you are either part of the problem or part of the solution!”

As expected, a bunch of 1960s people…I will be generous and refer to these narcissistic spoiled brats as people…believe that cursing and using shrill rhetoric constitutes dialogue and education. These people are not part of the problem. They are virtually the entire problem.

It is not the liberalism by itself. It is the laziness.

This blogger (I am speculating it is one person based on their about page, although I have no desire to learn more about him/them) linked to my article thinking it supported his position, when it was completely opposed to his views.

Some would wonder why this bothers me. After all, it increases traffic on my blog. That argument would be valid if I valued ratings over integrity and quality. Also, it frightens me that blogs like his have any traffic at all. Then again, hate sells for some.

All this fellow had to do is read my article. He could have even condemned it. That would at least tell me that he values what he puts on his own site.

I would be mortified if I signed my name to something I disagreed with.

This is what irresponsible people do. They sign mortgages without reading the fine print. They buy something without knowing the true cost. They claim to not know what their pastor of 20 years is truly saying. While the last example is more likely to be dishonesty in the form of willful blindness, the campaign is claiming to be guilty of idiocy, so I will accept their explanation. Hillary’s billing records (actually almost everything about her) falls into one of those two categories.

I have said for years that the media is liberally biased. It is not because they are bad people. They are just intellectually lazy. Getting the story right does not matter.

This fellow who linked to me claims he wants to make people think. How can a thinker allow a post of mine to be given prominent mention on his blog, unless it is in an unflattering light. By the time many people go to his blog, he will have made the correction. Take my word for it. As this column was being written, it was there.

Related Post from Around the Web

Cenk Uygur: Why is General Petraeus Helping Iran?
General Petraeus, Please tell the entire truth
General Petraeus: “We Haven’t Turned Any Corners. We Haven’t Seen …
General Petraeus Iraq Hearings: Updates Here

My column is the second one. I am embarrassed to be linked to these crackpots. As I said earlier, the fellow from this blog is probably even more mortified. Nevertheless, when quality is job zero, interesting things can occur. Tomorrow I should publish an article on the positive aspects of Pol Pot and see who links to it. I mean he did have a cute name, and looked like a warm fuzzy fella, genocide notwithstanding.

It is not the leftism. It is not even the lunacy. Leftism and lunacy are often kindred drunken spirits. It is not even the linking by itself.

It is the laziness.

Like a sleazy record executive in a purple suit who shows up and puts his arms around the band and takes pictures with them, even though he has never heard of them or their music, I am not a fan of those that do not care enough about their own ideas to actually do minimal research.

I am a conservative republican blogger. If this Lang fellow truly puts in this amount of effort always, then he has a bright future ahead of him in the mainstream media, at least before that collapses due to the very problems that this blogger needs to fix.

Dude…take 5 seconds out and read something before you link to it.

You may not like me or my views, but you learned a valuable lesson. I expect you to ignore it and respond with venom. I get that view from your site itself.

I support President George W. Bush, General David Petraeus, Senator John McCain, and the War in Iraq.

People who spend seconds on this blog know this.

eric

As expected, some microscopic entities blathered in a language that can only be described as “pipsqueakian.” Across the table from them, standing tall in the saddle, was General David Petraeus.

The reason why this man is the very best is because he is in an industry where being the best and brightest actually matters. Dimbulbs can become Senators because the fate of human survival is not in their hands. Making speeches about things is not the same as actually doing them. If General David Petraeus gets his job wrong, the world could collapse. That is why that people had better listen when he speaks. They do not have to agree, but they had better listen closely.

There are three industries that are meritocracies. They are sports, sales, and the military. A person’s color, religion, or private beliefs do not matter. At the end of the day, these three industries ask one simple question. Did you get the job done?

Below are the entire remarks of General Petraeus’s testimony before the Senate.

http://www.realclearpolitics.com/articles/2008/04/gen_petraeus_testimony_to_the.html

For those that want to try and cherry pick the General’s comments, manipulate away at your own dishonest peril. I will take the man literally. Below are some of his comments.

“Since Ambassador Crocker and I appeared before you seven months ago there has been significant but uneven security progress in Iraq.”

Anti-war surrender children will focus on the word “uneven.” The words to focus on are “significant progress.”

“Since September, levels of violence and civilian deaths have been reduced substantially, Al Qaeda-Iraq and a number of other extremist elements have been dealt serious blows, the capabilities of Iraqi security force elements have grown, and there has been noteworthy involvement of local Iraqis in local security.”

What part of this do those that want America to lose not understand?

Before a bunch of left wing crybabies claim that I am attacking their patriotism, they should be forced to answer whether they want to win in Iraq. When they try to argue that we are losing, direct the question back. It is not whether we are winning in this question, but if they had a choice, would they want victory? If they fail to answer, then their patriotism should not be questioned. They are simply repulsive, and yes, unpatriotic. People can disagree about the war, but wanting to lose is not acceptable.

“Nonetheless, the situation in certain areas is still unsatisfactory and innumerable challenges remain.”

How the antiwar children can translate this into defeat is mind boggling. There are always problems in war.

No war is done perfect. Yet overall, significant progress is exactly that.

“Still, security in Iraq is better than it was when Ambassador Crocker and I reported to you last September, and it is significantly better than it was 15 months ago…”

That is what happens when the military is allowed to do its job.

“Al Qaeda’s senior leaders, who still view Iraq as the central front in their global strategy, send funding, direction and foreign fighters to Iraq.”

The left carps that Al Queda was not there when Saddam ruled. So instead the right took down Saddam and is defeating Al Queda. Fabulous, ridding both evils in the same decade. Only leftists could object to this from their comfortable Seattle and Boston homes, no doubt with the air conditioning cranked up.

“These challenges and recent weeks’ violence notwithstanding, Iraq’s ethno-sectarian competitions in many areas is now taking place more through debate and less through violence.”

Apparently Barack Obama’s meaningless platitude about “Yes, we can,” only applies to getting him elected. “Yes, we can” is supposed to be about improving the world. To give real meaning to another slogan, this is “change we can believe in.”

“No matter which data is used, civilian deaths due to violence have been reduced significantly, though more work clearly needs to be done.”

There was a time when democrats actually believed in rolling up sleeves and actually doing things for society that were positive and productive. They actually supported sending a man to the moon, the Peace Corps, and interventionism in the form of a muscular foreign policy. “More work needs to be done” does not mean that nothing has been done right. A lot has been done right.

One of the most dishonest acts of blogging is creating sensationalistic headlines offering provocative themes that are completely misleading. I am guilty as charged. Deal with it.

General David Petraeus is very diplomatic, but he will not tell the complete truth when he testifies. He will discuss the surge. He will give his assessment of how the War in Iraq is progressing. He will most likely state that he needs more time. We are making progress, we have a long way to go, but there is cause for cautious optimism. Yet there is one thing he will refuse to say, so I will say it for him.

The Senators with the most hostile questioning of him are not fit to lick his boots.

https://tygrrrrexpress.com/2007/07/unless-your-name-is-general-david-petraeus-your-opinion-on-the-war-is-irrelevant/

There. I said it.

I want to make it clear that what makes America work is that the military is under civilian control. That should never change. At the same time, it would be nice if the civilians questioning him actually knew something, anything, about what they were talking about.

It is one thing for Senators to rail against Alan Greenspan or Ben Bernanke. After all, the blowhards had no power to actually do anything about anything the Federal Reserve Chairman said that they found objectionable. With the military, there is a budget involved, and Congress controls it. It would be helpful if those determining whether General Petraeus gets the time he needs actually had life from the neck up.

Here is how I wish the testimony would go in my fantasy world.

“Senator Clinton, the fact that you are questioning me about how I do my job strains all credulity. It defies belief. At 3am, my men are asleep after a 20 hour day, and the 4 hours we sleep would be easier if you were no longer near that phone. Please take your stories about sniper fire in Bosnia and disappear. I know about sniper fire, and your trips around the globe are safe because of my men.”

I would pray that the general would pause long enough to allow me to get some soda and chips and enjoy the show.

“Senator Obama, you say you stand for change. Change comes through blood, sweat and tears, not platitudes. You have never been to Iraq, and as corrupt and dangerous as Chicago may be, it’s a civilized first world city compared to what Iraq was under Saddam Hussein. You may say I have no right to denigrate Chicago, and I will be happy to stop doing so when you stop denigrating Iraq. Either get on a plane and shake the hands of the men that keep you free enough to mouth vacuous campaign slogans, or sit there and smile so people do not figure out that you know nothing about the issue.”

In my fantasy conference, he would go through the liberals like the decorated trooper he is.

“Senator Boxer, if you are truly against torture, then be quiet, because your shrill voice is torture to me. Stop pretending you care about women’s rights. I am fighting for the right of women in the Middle East to avoid having to wear burkhas against their will. I am freeing women from the bonds of slavery and female circumcision. You know what female circumcision is about. It is why you never smile. Now take your ‘I am woman, hear me roar’ attitude and go fix my dinner. I’ve been in the field all day, that being the battle field. If my dinner isn’t ready by the time I am done speaking, I’ll remind the audience about all the women worldwide that are dying while you prattle on and on about nonsense.”

He would spare none of these miscreants.

“Senator Kennedy, I felt safer in Iraq then I would as a passenger in your car. Senator Byrd, you are the reason many American’s support euthanasia. I would say more but you can’t hear me, and if you could, you wouldn’t understand me. Senator Mikulski, just because you are tough enough to play defense for the Baltimore Ravens doesn’t mean you are qualified to take on Al Sadr.”

He would then knock over the table like an angry coach at halftime.

“Senator Boxer, get a mop and clean this mess up. I clean up messes around the globe for you, it’s time for you to start pulling your weight. Senator Kennedy, you can pull half your weight and make a difference.”

An angry, flustered Boxer would then start babbling about the search for truth. At that point General Petraeus would do his best Colonel Nathan R. Jessup impersonation, yelling “You can’t handle the truth!”

Once the Senators were done crying and insisting that they were not the least relevant people on Earth, General Petraeus would agree with them.

“Of course you’re not the most worthless. The House of Representatives makes you clowns look knowledgeable. I plan to kick their @ss tomorrow with more ferocity than we are kicking Al Queda’s @ss.”

The republicans in the Senate would give him a standing ovation, and ask if he had any closing remarks.

“Senator Boxer, you are not fit to lick my boots, but try and prove me wrong. Here they are. Now take your tongue and get to work. I want them spit shined by 6 hundred hours. Don’t worry if your mouth gets tired. It’s not like you use it for anything valuable anyway. You might learn more if you are too tired to talk.”

I eagerly await the real press conference, although it will contain less fireworks. In terms of the war, General Petraeus will be the most honest man in the room. In terms of what he should say to the liberals sitting in judgment of him, he will be too polite to be completely truthful.

eric

I had the pleasure yesterday of seeing Dr. Daniel Pipes. He is the head of the Middle East Forum, and is one of the preeminent global scholars on the issue of Islamofacism. He is truly one of the brightest thinkers in America today.

http://www.danielpipes.org/

At the Republican Jewish Coalition gathering in San Francisco this weekend, there were many speakers on several panels. Sunday was dedicated to Israel, with the theme being “Israel at 60.” The day started with the Consul General and Deputy Consul General of Israel. After that was a media presentation by Blue Star PR.

http://www.bluestarpr.org/

That organization is vital in helping fight the propaganda of Israel’s enemies. Israel is brilliant on the battlefield, and are now aggressively fighting the media war as well.

After that, Dr. Aryeh Green of Media Central spoke about Israel and the media.

http://m-central.org/site/

David Meir Levi spoke about his book “History upside down: The roots of Palestinian Facism and the myth of Israeli aggression.”

As valuable as the entire day was, the highlight was Dr. Daniel Pipes. I have heard him lecture several times, and his message needs to be repeated over and over. He speaks calmly, never raising his voice at all. Nevertheless, his message is deadly serious, and he delivers his message masterfully.

I once asked him what it would take for liberal Jews to wake up and realize how severe the Arab-Israeli conflict was, and his sobering answer was “more deaths.”

Today I asked him a question that could have been perceived as an attempt at humor, but I prefaced it by stating that I was very serious. I wanted to know if the Geneva Convention allows Israel to take captured Palestinians and sterilize them. He said that would not be permissible. It is ok to execute people in battle, but not what I proposed. I ask this because many Palestinians have given up on a two state solution. They want a one state solution, which would end Israel as a Jewish state since Palestinians breed much faster. He did acknowledge that the Geneva Convention does not apply to Palestinians, but that my suggestion was untenable.

Before getting to his remarks, I want to say that because I have so much respect for Dr. Pipes, I conduct myself with dignity around him. I tend to clown around, and he does not seem to be a man that has use for tomfoolery. He is a serious intellect, so I restrain myself. Yet for those who read my blog, I have to admit that every time I see his name on a place card I think of that song involving his name.

“Oh Danny Boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling…”

I think it would be best if I never sang that to him.

Anyway, for those that truly want to understand the Arab-Israeli conflict, Dr. Pipes provides a brilliant education. With that, I bring the wisdom of Dr. Daniel Pipes.

“Israel lives under a curse, that being the threat of extinction.”

“There is the crude form of threats and the polite form. The crude form comes from those such as Iranian President Armageddonijad (sic) saying that he wants to wipe Israel off of the map. The polite form comes in several ways. It involves the Palestinian ‘right of return.’ It comes from those that want to ‘liberate Jerusalem.’ It involves those supporting the ‘one state solution.’ It consists of world maps that do not show Israel. Other maps show an Arab state within Israel.”

Dr. Pipes divides Israel into two phases. The first phase was from its inception in 1948 to 1993. The second phase is from 1993 to the present. The second phase has been a disaster.

“So what went wrong in 1993? The rise of radical Islam, the rise of Iran, and the growing anti-Israeli left.”

“External Palestinians ranging from the Palestinian Authority Hamas is what determines Israel’s world standing.”

“From 1948 to 1993, Israel was concerned with victory. Victory was achieved through deterrence. Deterrence is demanding, slow, boring, and passive. Like the Cold War, deterrence ends when one side gives up. In 1993, the policy of deterrence was replaced with a peace process, which was a policy of appeasement. Israel grew weary of deterrence. They wanted immediate results, and felt a peace process would force peace. The United States allowed deterrence to eventually defeat the Soviet Union.”

“Yitzchak Rabin once said ‘You don’t make peace with your friends. You make peace with your enemies.’ He is wrong. You don’t make peace with your friends, but you make peace with your former enemies. You defeat the enemy, and then you make peace. One side must win. The Jewish state must be accepted or eliminated, but not both. Occasionally both sides in a war quit, such as when England and France ceased 70 years of war to unite against the looming threat from Germany. This is rare. Wars end when one side loses.”

“Deterrence is not about one side winning. It is about the other side giving up. The United States did not win the Cold War. The Soviets gave up. Israel must go back to deterrence until their enemies give up.”

“Palestinians must accept Israel as a Jewish state. Maps must show Israel, and Hebron must be safe from rocket fire.”

“Homicide bombers are not acting out of despair. They are acting out of exhilaration. They are exhilarated, not upset. They find strength in killing.”

“The Palestinian will must be crushed. America did not lose the Vietnam War on the battlefield. We lost Vietnam because we lost the will to continue.”

“Palestinians must taste the bitter crucible of defeat. They should get nothing until they lose. There should be no more pieces of paper. The answer is victory, not resolution. Oslo is fine after the Palestinians lose. Israel should win, which means triumph, not just defend.”

“The Iran threat would diminish if the Palestinians accepted Israel.”

“Palestinians can still send stiff diplomatic notes to newspaper editors. They just have to stop the violence.”

“This problem will end through victory, not diplomacy.”

“Palestinians are no longer pawns of the other Arab states. The states are tired of the conflict. They want no part of it. It is the people living in some of the states that want the conflict. Defeating the Palestinians is enough. It will not be necessary to go after all Arabs.”

“Relocating the Palestinians to Jordan is not possible. They do not want a homeland. They want to destroy Israel. If they were relocated to Jordan, they would simply invade Israel again.”

“A complete military victory is not necessary in terms of getting help from the outside world. The outside world except for the United States would not help in any situation. Israel has latitude. The strike on September 6th against Syria was met without a ‘boo’ from the world. Israel does not need to engage in mass killing. Israel must be clever, such as the targeted strike against Syria. It sent a message.”

“The U.S. or Israel must do something about Iran.”

“The Arab League gets upset when Israel breaks a Gaza window pane.”

“Islamists and the left are united. They are both anti-Bush and anti-west. This is a super thin short term alignment. The left is anti-religion and anti-family, preventing a long term association.”

“As for why Israel does not just cut off all water and electricity to the Palestinians permanently, I cannot explain the policies of Ehud Ohlmert’s government.”

A short video offered some frightening images. Also, if the Palestinians truly wanted a state, they would have accepted the chance to have one in 1948, and again in 2000.

Despite his calm demeanor, Dr. Pipes explains what many Jews are feeling…enough is enough.

There is no dialogue with genocidal lunatics. When their spirits are crushed, and they look in the mirror and say, “we can’t win,” only then will they come to the negotiating table.

If they fail to reach this point, then Israel must take any and all self defense measures. Any collateral damage will be the fault of the Palestinians.

The right of Israel to exist is not, and will never be, negotiable.

I thank God that Dr. Daniel Pipes is able to spread this message as effectively as he does.

eric

The Tygrrrr Express is Bay Area bound for the weekend. After all, nothing says republican, Jewish, heterosexual and proud like Northern California.

I frequently attend events involving the Republican Jewish Coalition, since I am a member of the leadership. I frequently get to witness panels of experts discussing various topics, and I take copious notes.

I have been invited to be a panelist myself. The topic will be “The case for the GOP in 2008.” I will be speaking from a blogger’s perspective.

Since I am not talented enough to take notes on myself while speaking at the same time, I can reveal that I will make the same points I have been hammering since day one as a blogger.

The main thing I will emphasize is that it does not matter how good ideas are. If the marketing is bad, people will ignore the ideas. Yes, there are those on the hard left that actually believe that if they changed a few words, their noxious prescriptions for America would be palatable. Most people have seen liberalism, and realize that the entire ideology needs to go the way of the horse and buggie.

Yet conservatism is still a relevant philosophy. When practiced right, it works. The problem is that conservatives have not had a good marketer since Reagan.

President Bush was brilliant in a debate, when asked about gun control in the wake of a Columbine style shooting. Rather than take the bait, he stated that one thing we need to do is put our arms around kids and tell them we love them.

I can picture Oprah wetting her underwear at such emotional claptrap. Yet it works. Trying to argue against gun control on ideas such as respecting the Constitution do not work. We have to pull heartstrings.

We also have to force democrats to define themselves. We have to verbally smoke them out by forcing them to answer questions they desperately do not wish to answer.

When they blather on about “tax cuts for the wealthy,” we need to ask them “Who are the wealthy?” I want to force them to give me an exact dollar amount, where above that number, a person is wealthy. My parents managed to earn six figures when their incomes were combined, which is not wealthy, especially with a mortgage on Long Island. Once people see that their own middle class lives are deemed wealthy, they recoil in horror.

Bill Clinton claimed he would only raise taxes on the wealthy. Even the Jayson Blair Times saw this as false. It might have been the only time they were right about anything.

We need to ask liberals “If success could be attained in Iraq, would you stay?” When they start crying about how we are failing, and mismanagement, and lies, and blood for oil, steer them right back to the point. If we can succeed, would they stay? Then we should watch them twist like pretzels. Feeling failure is pessimistic. Endorsing failure is morally vile. That is today’s democratic party.

Yet the main point I will emphasize on the panel I am on is that we absolutely must be pleasant. We must be likable. Virtually every issue can be defused with humor.

I am deadly serious about my conservative beliefs, but I am still able to explain my beliefs in a lighthearted manner. The biggest sins of anybody trying to communicate are stridency, viciousness, and especially…being boring.

Boring people stand up and talk about postulates. Interesting people captivate an audience. I must confess I am on the verge of boring people to tears to describe what makes people interesting. So here are some examples of captivation.

The problem of Jewish people dying off through lack of reproduction is the biggest threat the people of the book have faced in 50 years. Yet to describe in mind numbing detail the statistics of reproduction is torture that the Geneva Convention might take issue with. Yet my article, “Sir, I impregnated your daughter. No Need to thank me!” hits the issue home.

I have spoken about the Israeli-Palestinian conflict with columns entitled, “Burn, Gaza Burn, Disco Inferno,” which compares the problem to 70s disco music. “I’ll have Gaza Strip and Eggs for breakfast please, sunny side down and burnt to a crisp,” offered another angle. “Mr. Moderate Palestinian Leader, Meet Mr. Easter Bunny,” offered yet another take. The message was clear.

People who encounter me start out by saying, “This guy has some serious screws loose.” Yes, it scares away the more stodgy people, but some stick around because they like train wrecks. By the time they are done reading my column, they are thinking, “There is some serious common sense here.” Also, I am as likable as the average bear.

There is nothing wrong with the conservative message. What is wrong is when republicans betray our own message. Liberals win elections when they run away from themselves. Conservatives win when they show their true colors.

Americans are frustrated with the Iraq War. Yet at no time did the American people want to lose. They were not upset we were still there. They were upset at a perceived lack of progress. Americans demand success, and have every right to do so.

Americans do not hate rich people. They like living in a nation where they can become rich. Forcing the rich to pay their fair share is a tired slogan. Rich people provide jobs. They are producers. They already pay their fair share.

Not every CEO in America is greedy. Not every person with means is a bad person.

Most importantly, conservatives are happier people than liberals. Listen to those on the far left. They are often dour. The world is miserable, the sky is falling, and everything is wrong.

People do not want to hear this. They want to hear about what we can do. We put a man on the moon. We invented the internet. We have revolutionized medicine. People are living longer, and many diseases that killed 100 years ago now are cured with a pill.

We are a nation of manifest destiny, and the way to spread a message is to let people know what we are capable of achieving with good old fashioned American ingenuity.

I disagree with the politics of Barack Obama, but his slogan “Yes, we can!” is simply more inspiring than anything Hillary Clinton has come up with. John McCain’s personal heroism and sacrifice make for an amazing message about what happens when a brave man digs down deep and finds what he is made of. He has the style and the substance.

Americans believe in personal responsibility. Now if I were to write a column called, “Lost your home? Screw You!,” people would be angry with me. So instead, I can write a column about deliberately trying to lose as much money as possible, because the more I lose, the better chance I have of getting a government bailout. I will buy a 7 billion dollar home later in the week and then default. Like a Dilbert Manager, I will bungle my way to wealth and success.

Yes, it is the same message, but it is palatable, and self deprecating.

Trying to argue the intellect of global warming is exhausting, and changes nobody’s opinion. Yet when Howard Stern suggested we start recycling toilet paper, it was a way of poking fun at where to draw the line.

As for what I have just told all of you, I doubt I will get to it all. I only have a limited time to speak, which is best for pretty much most of Western Civilization.

I will make sure to brag about my three fatwas, one from a Palestinian group, one from the Daily Kos, and one from the National Organization for Women. Apparently they simply do not agree with my column advocating the repeal of the 19th Amendment.

The illegal immigration debate is entrenched, but a discussion of sealing off red states to protect them from blue state migration is a lighter approach.

Also, abortion is a less charged topic when the issue becomes one of eugenics. By allowing liberals to have more abortions, it helps conservatives win elections.

I may not always be right (although I very well could be), but I am always entertaining (or perhaps not).

When all is said and done, I only hope that the RJC sees my contribution to the panel as sheer brilliance. If I was writing the review, I know I would. Yet as I said earlier, trying to write my own notes while speaking will be next to impossible.

I could use this column as my pre panel notes. Or I could forget to bring it with me.

I may wing it, since I speak better on the fly. I just have to remember that discussing my plan to impregnate republican Jewish brunettes would not lead to a second panel experience. Plus, the Chicago Cannonball would be quite salty with me if I did.

So what is the case for the GOP in 2008?

I will let you all know after I say it, if I remember.

I know it has something to do with us being right and them being off their leftist rockers.

eric

Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton are ripping each other to shreds for the right to be irrelevant in November. The loser in the primary is better off based on historical trends. Losing in a primary is not a death sentence. Losing in the general election is a career ender. The days of coming back as Richard Nixon did are long gone. While Hillary would most likely not get another shot since she was the initial inevitable favorite, Obama could lose and get another chance, especially if people feel Hillary cheated him. Yet if Obama loses the general election, he is done.

Before getting into the lilliputians that the democrats consider party kingmakers later in the week, a couple lighthearted moments shall be dispatched.

Hillary is comparing herself to Rocky. She most likely means Rocky Balboa, an American hero. She is more like Rocky Squirrel, which would make sense since she seems to think that all republicans are Boris Badanoff. I wonder if she thinks Obama is Bullwinkle. He does seem to tower over her, and is funnier. She as Rocky Squirrel is the exasperated straight person. Hillary, Wassamatta U?

As for Obama, Obama is a terrible bowler. He bowled a 37 after only 7 frames. People do not bowl that horribly unless they have practically never bowled. Obama wanted to look like a regular guy, so he tried to engage in a sport that regular people do. He would not be the first politician to do this. Yet I have to admire at how he handled the situation. He laughed about it. He was dreadful, and he had fun. Ronald Reagan was the master at self deprecation, and Obama truly does seem like a man comfortable in his own skin. His bowling balls went into the gutter, but he still picked up votes.

Speaking of the gutter, Hillary Clinton is still running for President. One of her biggest flaws is that she has to be perfect. She will not allow herself to be vulnerable. She is seen as a robot, an android, a…non-human. She cannot allow herself to be bad at anything. Can anybody see Hillary putting on those bowling shoes and publicly failing?

Obama is the last guy I would want on my bowling team, but he seems like a guy that I would be happy to trade laughs with at the bowling alley. It makes me think of somebody else that was fun to be around, who is far away right now.
A dear friend of mine is getting married in Israel in several months. He is like a brother to me, and I am saddened by his living in Israel and not Los Angeles. I have never been to Israel, but I have to go to his wedding. I have so many memories of hanging out with him, but one memory was a Jewish singles event at a bowling alley.

The event was “Cosmic Bowling.” It is like trying to bowl blind. There are swirling disco lights, and blaring music. Between frames, people would dance in the aisles. I am the only person I know to bowl a strike while dancing to Hot Chocolate’s “You sexy thing.” I also remember leaving the 10 pin so many times that the last time it wobbled, stood up, cursed at me, and smiled, I told my friend that if it did not go down I was going to go kick it.

We all had a great time, but one thing I remember was that after 5 frames, his score was…1. That’s right. 5 frames. 10 balls thrown. 9 gutters, and one ball that somehow hit one pin. Ironically, I think it was the 10 pin I kept missing. Yet he was laughing about it, and we laughed with him, not at him.

He kept me very humble that night because as awful as his bowling was, he was a master of foosball. Perhaps he was not a master. Perhaps I was just that terrible. By the time I blinked, he had scored a goal. I still do not understand how he kept doing that. I think his side of the machine had twice as many players and controllers. Nevertheless, any whipping he took on the lanes was avenged by the foosball Gods.

We both had a great time, and we lifted each other up, rather than tear each other down. That is what friends do. The purpose of the event was to meet Jewish girls, and while neither of us found romance that night, we both ended up partying with a mixed group of 10-14 people until about four in the morning.

The girls did not see me as a lousy foosball player or a good bowler. They did not see my friend as a foosball king or a bowling disaster. They saw us as friends that were comfortable in our own skin. They liked us as people. As for why we did not find romance, I do not think either of us knew what to say to girls, although at least my friend realized that. I maintain that my “game” with the ladies was equivalent to foosball…misunderstood.

Hillary would argue that it is not about likability, but about effectiveness. This argument does not work, especially when the effectiveness argument is blown to kingdom come like a Bosnia sniper.

I still to this day wonder why Hillary’s advisers refused to even try and show her as likable. It would not have swayed me, but it could have swayed others on the fence. It almost seemed like her advisers conceded that she was unlikable.

She had slogans such as “Ready on day 1,” “Solutions, not speeches,” and other forgettable phrases. She even mentioned in one particularly boring speech (which says a lot for her) that she “knows how to run the bureaucracy.” People dislike bureaucracy. Bureaucrats are people that offer red tape and excuses rather than results.

Competence over ideology is a losing formula. People want bold visions, not nuanced wonkishness. They want to be led. They want to be inspired. They want to like the person they vote for.

Nobody disputes Hillary’s intelligence or her discipline. They simply find her cold, despite trying to seem girlish by saying “okee dokee artichokee.” She just comes across as the person who comes in the room, and ends the fun everybody is having.

Life is tough. There is suffering. Yes, we need a manager that can fix problems. Yet we also need a leader.

John McCain has great Navy stories about his bad behavior. . Barack Obama can share laughs over a dreadful day at the bowling alley.

Hillary has crickets chirping.

I have said in the past that I think Hillary is not a good human being. Yet she is a human being. Human beings fail. It is part of what makes us human.

My dear friend did not stop one of the worst games of bowling prevent him from being one of the most liked people on the planet. In fact, I do not know a person that dislikes him (I certainly cannot say the same about myself).

Barack Obama may have been 263 points from a perfect game, but he did understand one thing that regular people do understand.

Bowling is about having fun. He was having fun. The score took a back seat to the cameraderie.

Having fun? Perhaps somebody can show Hillary how. Perhaps she can hire a focus group and take a poll to learn how.

I am grateful I can just have fun naturally. It comes with being a regular person.

eric

After watching the Celebrity Apprentice, I became a fan of Trace Adkins. I am unfamiliar with his music, but will most likely (legally of course) obtain some this weekend and listen to it. I suspect I will like it. I did buy his book, and while I am only a few pages in, I am already a die hard fan of this guy. I know he is a busy guy, but if I am ever in Tennessee when he is, I will buy him a beverage.

http://www.traceadkins.com/main/

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4DyA0BSvyk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qc_uFqQ-LNg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NBz5jDSljvs

His book is entitled “Trace Adkins…A Personal Stand: Observations and opinions from a freethinking roughneck.” It should be mandatory reading for every American. It is simple common sense, which can often be found in the heartland.

As I said, I am only a few pages in, but I am already prepared to ask Mr. Adkins to run for President of the United States provided that he is willing to take a 90% pay cut and a loss of prestige.

Mr. Adkins is plainspoken, but the bottom line is that he “gets it.”

With that, I bring you the wit and wisdom of country music sensation, Celebrity Apprentice candidate, and all around good human being, Trace Adkins.

He starts out telling a poignant story about how he explained 9/11 to his then three year old daughter. To witness such an atrocity as 9/11 as an adult is horrifying enough, and thankfully for him, his daughter was too young to understand what had happened. However, he wanted to let her know in his own calm, reassuring manner that it was not a normal day.

“My little girl loved to watch the planes come over. I leaned over to Mackenzie and said, ‘Let’s see how many airplanes we can count.’ She was excited. So we waited. And we waited. There were no planes. No planes at all. Now you can’t keep a three year old’s interest for very long.

‘There are no planes,’ she finally said and jumped up. ‘C’mon daddy, let’s go do something else.’

I held Mackenzie in my arms for awhile. Then I said to her, ‘Look at me sweetheart, and I want you to remember this. There was a day when daddy took you outside to see the planes and there were no planes flying anywhere in the sky. No planes.’

‘Why Daddy?’

‘Today the President said, ‘No one can fly planes today,’ so there are none. Today’s the only day this will happen. You will never see this again. I want you to remember what daddy showed you on the day there were no planes.’

That was the only way I could impress upon a three year old the importance of that sad and terrible time.”

I am not a father, and cannot imagine how much bloodlust I would have if one of my children were harmed in any way. If someone comes after me, I can deal with that. I am a pretty tough hombre. Yet going after people I care about crosses the line. Ask those that have done so.

His reaction to 9/11 was exactly how I felt. It was a combination of immediate rage, but with an understanding that calm must carry the day. Like many people I wanted President Bush to simply blow up every nation that was a suspect, regardless of whether or not they had anything to do with it. Guilty until proven innocent was fine by me. I also understood that the President needed to be a cooler head than me. Thankfully, he was.

Trace Adkins would have immediately held a conference call with every Arab leader. He would have then laid it all on the line.

“Listen. If this is the first salvo, the first shot, and if this is going to continue, then let it be known today that it will not continue for very long. We have the firepower to end this, and we’re willing to use it. My children and my grandchildren will not live in fear for the rest of their lives because that’s not living. That’s just existing.

I’m warning you folks right now, I’m willing to end it all. I will incinerate this rock starting with Afghanistan, and I mean it. If you’re not going to get with the terrorist eradication program and get your sh*t (sic) together, and if you permit this stuff to go on in your own countries, by God, I will end this now. We will all go to our maker and we’ll let him decide who was right.”

Trace Adkins then lets the readers of his book know in parentheses that cooler heads around him would be necessary. He lets us know that after his fiery speech to the Arab leaders, “it would have been at that moment, hopefully, that some sensible person in my administration would have dropped a horse tranquilizer in my coffee.”

Self deprecation aside, President Bush waited over three weeks before hammering the Taliban. Yes, some people wanted us to carpet bomb everything in sight within three minutes, but we needed to get it right. We needed a plan in place. We needed cold, decisive leadership, and we got it.

As for Mr. Adkins, he is just another example of why conservative Christians are better for Jews and Israel than liberal Jews will ever be. I have often said that liberal Jews need cranial-glutial extraction surgery. Trace Adkins uses simpler words, but he is not afraid to tell somebody that they have their head up their hide.

One month after 9/11, Trace Adkins was a guest on the Bill Maher program “Politically Incorrect.” Playing the role of the typical no nothing cranial-glutial linked liberal Jew peacenik appeaser was Julian Epstein, a former chief Democratic counsel for the House Judiciary Committee.

The show usually featured three liberals and one token conservative that was there as an entertainment foil for the left wing Maher. Yet many liberals did not understand that after 9/11, this country did swing to the right. They did not want dialogue. They wanted to take the bad guys and b*tchslap them. After the three liberals spoke their typical nonsense, Trace Adkins offered his common sense.

“This is going to come down to a scrap, and it’s going to be big and we’re going to have to settle this thing once and for all. We’re gonna have to end this thing. We’re going to have to fight it out till it’s over and until they don’t do this anymore. We’re going to have to go into Afghanistan and take care of this, and if Pakistan doesn’t like it, we thump their @ss (sic) too. That’s what we have to do. It’s inevitable.”

As the liberals stayed shocked, he continued.

“I don’t care what it’s about. I don’t care if it’s about religion or politics or economics or what it is. I know that they want to kill us and we have to kill them to stop it from happening. I don’t care what the reason is. They want to kill us! That’s all they care about. If we don’t kill them, we might as well just give up and say, ‘Okay, come live over here with us.'”

Liberal Jew (I will continue referring to him in this manner. As the son of a Holocaust survivor, I want to call out those that destroy their own people through naivety) Julian Epstein said to Mr. Adkins, “Man, you are really off the deep end and barbaric about this.”

Once again, Mr. Adkins offered common sense to a man who should have known better.

“You’re d@mn (sic) right I am! And of all people, you should be too. Your last name is Epstein for God’s sake. Those anti-semitic monsters hate you a lot worse than they do me! They might not give a sh*t (sic) about me, but they wouldn’t even waste time talking to you. They’ll just kill you. All they have to see is your last name and you’re a dead man. And you’re going to sit here and try to figure out why they’re doing all this stuff? Give me a break, man. Get on board the train, Hoss. We’re pulling out, and we’re going to kill these expletive b@stards (sic).”

Mr. Adkins has a message for America today that is every bit as powerful as it was after 9/11, and every bit as relevant.

“I stand by those words I uttered one month after the invasion. I still believe the only way to fight Islamic terrorism is to crack skulls. After eight years, Al Queda is not going to go away through kindness, education and tolerance. We need to flush them out of their caves and kill them. Then stream that footage live over the internet.”

As I said, I would be happy to vote for Trace Adkins for President of the United States.

Given that he most likely would not want the job despite his being well qualified (any father of five daughters knows how to babysit liberals in Congress from a temper tantrum standpoint), the best we can do…and should do…is buy his book and his music.

God bless this man and his family.

eric