Archive for May, 2008

Hillary–Insincere to the last drop

Wednesday, May 21st, 2008

A few years ago, the Oakland Raiders played the Tampa Bay Buccaneers in the Superbowl. It was the battle of Bays, and the battle of pirates.

Late in the game, the Raiders scored three straight touchdowns. Although they did not make any extra point conversions, those 18 points were impressive. The Buccaneers did score a pair of touchdowns at the end, but the Raiders 18 points outdid the 14 points of the Buccaneers.

Yet for some reason, the Buccaneers won the Superbowl instead of the Raiders. Despite outscoring the Buccaneers 18-14, apparently that was not enough to override the first three quarters of the game, in which the Buccaneers squeaked past the Raiders 34-3. The Raiders closed to within 34-21, and then lost 48-21.

As painful as this Superbowl was, it is almost as painful listening to Hillary Clinton explain to us why facts do not matter and numbers are mere inconveniences.

Below is her “victory” speech from her win in Kentucky. Despite her being thrashed in Oregon, and in many states across the country that she does not count for various reasons, in her world, the last few minutes can make up for the first three quarters.

At least this woman is consistent. She is ready to lie on day one. Why6 would she not be? She has had experience lying for 35 years.

“I am thinking about why we are all here. It is not just to win a primary, or even just to win an election; what propels us is the struggle to realize America’s promise.”

While this is harmless blather to some, somebody ought to tell Hillary that most people do not struggle with this issue. They already appreciate America for what it has been for more than a couple of centuries.

Nevertheless, if this was the worst one could say about Hillary, it would not be that bad. It is not even close, which is why she is that bad.

She spent much time making the obligatory comments praising Ted Kennedy, which is fine. However, he was supporting Barack Obama, not her. She does not have to mention this, but it is worth noting.

“It is not just Kentucky bluegrass that is music to my ears.”

Hillary has loved Kentucky bluegrass all her life. She has also been a lifelong New York Yankees fan.

Does Hillary know the name of one bluegrass artist or song?

It is not about music. It is about insincerity and a patronizing nature.

It is one thing to thank people. It is another to claim to be one of them. Hillary is a wealthy woman from a privileged background that somehow managed to position herself to the right of Barack Obama.

“Some have said your votes didn’t matter, that this campaign was over, that allowing everyone to vote and every vote to count would somehow be a mistake.”

Nobody of any credibility said that. Hillary loves to play the “us against them” card.

“This is one of the closest races for a party’s nomination in modern history.”

Horshoes and hand grenades Hillary. Close means zilch.

“We’re winning the popular vote…”

No you are not Hillary. You are turning into Al Gore’s evil twin. The real fun will be those that still think Gore won in 2000 trying to explain why the rules are different now. Sometimes I think liberals would even cheat at Monopoly, but then remember that they would refuse to play that game because some people get wealthy, making the game unfair.

“Though we have been outspent massively…”

As much as I hate using pop culture references, Justin Timberlake was right to tell Britney Spears to “Cry me a river.” The reason why she was outspent was because more people liked Barack Obama. Hillary loves the little people defeating the behemoths except when she is the behemoth. His supporters and their $25 donations beat out her fat cats and their $100,000 donations.

Hillary does not understand that rich people have a right to be rich. Obama played by the same rules of raising money, and he won fair and square. Yes, he will be a complete hypocrite when he inevitably starts bashing the rich, but that is for later. Life is not fair, no matter how desperately Hillary tries to spread the misery of equality. Obama should spend into the stratosphere, as is his right.

“We have to select a nominee who is best positioned to win in November, and someone who is best prepared to address the enormous challenges facing our country in these difficult times.”

The “electability” argument is pure fraud. The rules cannot be undone. John Edwards, Bill Richardson and Joe Biden are all more electable. The road is littered with candidates that would have been strong in a general election if only they did not have to go through the pesky nuisance of a primary. Rudy Giuliani in 2008, John Edwards and Joe Lieberman in 2004, and John McCain in 2000 all tried to play to the center. This is admirable, but passionate bases have every right to make their voices heard. If moderates are troubled by this, then they should speak up more forcefully. I detest activists, but respect the fact that they get things done because they are motivated. Hillary was rejected by a majority of voters in her own party. Barely being rejected is no different from a landslide rejection. A close loss is a loss.

“Now, I’m told that more people have voted for me than for anyone who has ever run for the Democratic nomination.”

That is also a lie Hillary. Stop manipulating the numbers. You may have turned $1000 into $100,000 playnig commodities, but in this game, 2 + 2 still does not equal 5.

Also, and this must be repeatedly reinforced, even if she did win the popular vote, that would be a symbolic victory that is meaningless from an electoral standpoint.

(The talk before the 2000 election was Al Gore losing the popular vote but winning the Electoral College. His supporters were fine with this, and the campaign’s last minute hit job about a drunk driving scandal almost made their concerns moot)

“Whether or not we will have a president who will rebuild the economy, end the war in Iraq, restore our leadership in the world and stand up for you every single day.”

The economy is actually doing well, and there is a chance that we might not have a recession at all. As for restoring our leadership in the world, Europeans are supporting conservative leaders in droves. Even if this was not the case, John Kerry’s “global test” is as useless now as it was in 2004. As for ending the war in Iraq, if support for the war upticks again, she will be for the war since the beginning anyway.

“For too long, too many Americans have felt invisible in their own country. Well, you’ve never been invisible to me. I’ve been fighting for you my entire life.”

Most people want to be left alone to make the most of their own lives. They are only invisible to the elites like Hillary who consider them “flyover country.” Just because Obama was even more condescending than she was does not make her the champions of ordinary Americans. The people who make this country great, who shop at Walmart, like NASCAR, go target shooting…Hillary has utter contempt for these people.

We are in this race because we believe everyone deserves a shot at the American Dream, the opportunity to work hard at a good job to get ahead, to save for college, for a home, for retirement.”

This would be true except for the fact that Hillary wants to raise capital gains taxes, which would decimate retirement accounts. Only people making less than a certain amount can open up IRAs, so hurting retirement accounts hurts the rich the least. She also wants to tax the profits of legal businesses, which would cripple the shareholders of these companies. Yes, the female version of Robin Hood will wreck a family owning a few shares of stock to teach rich powerful producers a lesson.

“a president with experience representing the people of the United States in more than 80 countries to restore our leadership and moral authority in the world.”

I have drank Coca Cola in many places in this world. Therefore, I am a world renowned food and beverage expert that should be the CEO of the Coca Cola company. I also own stock in Coca Cola, which makes me a part owner. Using Hillary’s math, I should be  the Chairman of the Board as well, since the fact that  my shares were bought more recently invalidates the millions of shares that the current CEO owns.

“This country needs our combination of strength and compassion to help people struggling with their bills.”

Strength? Democrats love using words like “toughness” and “strength” everywhere except where it matters. Even Barack Obama has a new meaningless phrase known as “tough diplomacy.”

John Kerry wanted a “stronger America.”

Republicans don’t have to announce how tough they are. It is taken at face value (Now if only republicans would promise to never again try to run on compassion. It makes me ill).

As for my bills, I have student loans, and I do not need nor want Hillary’s help. I want my taxes low, so I can pay the loans myself.  Period. Exclamation point. Let me keep my money, and mind your own business.

“I’m going to keep standing up for the voters of Florida and Michigan. Democrats in those two states cast 2.3 million votes and they deserve to have those votes counted.”

No they do not. The rules were crystal clear.

“Who is ready on Day One to lead?”

John McCain. He actually has a record of accomplishment, despite his not attending tea parties and ribbon cutting ceremonies across 80 nations.

“Just this week, I met 89-year-old Emma Hollis, an African-American woman, she has seen so many barriers crumble and fall in her lifetime, but she is not finished yet.”

Yes, the obligatory sop to a random black woman. While this is harmless, Obama is winning over 90% of the black vote, including black women. Hillary is cherry picking. There might be a white male gun owner that watches football that likes Hillary, but in statistics this would be called an aberration.

“I’m thinking about Andrea Steagall, a strong and composed young woman, 20 years old, who drove across Kentucky to meet me. Her husband, Justin, is deployed in Afghanistan.”

This is another aberration. John Kerry lost 75% of the military vote. Al Gore tried to have their ballots invalidated, since “counting all the votes” was only meant for his supporters. Hillary can claim every left of center military person aching for a photo op and a cushy pentagon job, but the rank and file are behind the war hero John McCain.

“I’m thinking again about Dalton Hatfield, the 11-year-old from Kentucky, who sold his bike and his video games to raise money to support my campaign.”

This is one time that I hope Hillary is lying. If this story is truthful, then I am appalled. I will not blame Hillary, but I will say that the boy’s parents are most likely disgusting human beings. 11 year old children are apolitical unless their parents indoctrinate them. Good parents who truly care about their children would prefer their child keep his bicycle and video games. Yes, the left cares about the children.

“The state motto of Kentucky is, ‘United we stand, divided we fall.'”

Hillary is all about division. She pits groups against each other.

“We won’t just unite our party; we will unite our country.”

All the while bashing republicans. You are a fighter who prides herself on defeating enemies. You are also a healer who will bring us together.

Hillary, with all respect to the people of Maxwell House Coffee, you truly are consistent in your insincerity. You are good to the last drop.

The percolator has been turned off. Now all we see is a drip.

I would not even let her iron my shirts. I know more about domestic life than she does. Perhaps her servants can show her how to do it.

Enough Hillary. Even democrats, who will believe anything, do not believe you. The most gullible have seen through you.

It is easy to see through when there is nothing actually there but a blank space.

More democrats found substance in Barack Obama than in Hillary.

While that makes me laugh, they have every right to nominate whoever they wish.

Hillary, the last drip has dropped.  The last drop has dripped.  The faucet has been turned off, and the lights have been turned out.

It is time for you to do the same.


Hillary Clinton, the Kentucky Derby, and Old Yeller

Tuesday, May 20th, 2008

Blue Moon of Kentucky, Keep on Shining…Shine on the one, that’s gone and proved untrue…

Blue Moon of Kentucky, Keep on Shining…Shine on the one, that’s gone and left me blue…

That wonderful song by Bill Monroe has nothing to do with this column. I just like it, although I prefer the Vince Gill version that was lip synched by Boomhauer on “King of the Hill.”

Anyway, Kentucky and Oregon are voting today, and I am going to pretend to care.

Oregon does their elections by mail, which makes for very efficient elections. This makes polls irrelevant, because with early voting, one cannot know exactly what percentage of people filled out their ballots when. They could have filled them out when either candidate was at the height of their popularity, or cratering at the bottom. Speaking of craters and bottoms, Hillary…never mind. This is not a sex column.

Anyway, the focus is on Kentucky. Obama is expected to Coast in Oregon, while Hillary is expecting a blowout in Kentucky similar to her romp in West Virginia.

The problem is that Kentucky has already predetermined this race, based on a race that occurred in Kentucky recently.

People often talk about the political horse race of a Presidential election season, but it was a literal horse race that doomed Hillary’s campaign.

The Kentucky Derby will be the day that Hillary’s quest for the White House ended in death.

For those who do not know, there are two significant occurrences regarding the Kentucky Derby, which is always held on a Saturday in early May. The Friday before the Derby, David Letterman has the voice of the racing announcer on his show by telephone. The man enthusiastically bellows out, “and down the stretch they come!” Letterman does this himself for several minutes before and after the announcer does it. In fact, the entire episode is Dave for no reason in particular randomly yelling out “and down the stretch they come!”

The other important aspect of the Kentucky Derby comes in the form of wagers. Yes, gambling is illegal in many areas, but some gambles are less harmful to society than others. If two mayors want to bet on the Superbowl in the form of wearing the t-shirt of the city, I do not lose sleep over it.

Nevertheless, Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton picked out their horses. For those who wondered if Hillary bet on the bobtail nag, I would say it was Bill Clinton that bet on the nag 30 years ago. Some would say she is a hag, but that is more a physical critique, while being a nag is more an attitude. To say she is a hag would be perhaps unfair. Perhaps. She is a nag.

Anyway, Obama bet on a horse known as “Big Brown.” Hillary bet on a filly known as “Eight Belles.” Either Obama deliberately picked a horse that sounded like the nickname of a macho black man, or he is an expert on horse racing. Either Hillary deliberately selected a horse that was female, or she is a horse racing expert. Given her character, she has been a horse racing fan her entire life.

In what became a perfect replica of the most recent primary season, Big Brown was far out in the lead. Eight Belles came hard charing down the stretch, and was a very close second as the race was winding down. As they were headed towards the finish line, Eight Belles pulled back. Big Brown won the race. Yet this was not the story of the 2008 Kentucky Derby.

Eight Belles was too injured to even survive. She had to be euthanized. Right after the race ended, she was killed. It was a mercy killing.

While I want to make it crystal clear that there is nothing funny about the death of an innocent animal (as opposed to all the guilty animals that absolutely had it coming and deserved it), there are two things that must cease now.

First of all, the terrorists at People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) should sit down and shut up. Yes, people who encourage bombing buildings, even to save furry lil critters, are terrorists. The only time anybody ever listened to PETA was when the hotter members of the group got naked. I saw Lisa Lange on television the other day. When she is fully dressed, she is no less useless than any other activist, or as I call them, lactivist. I wish it were legal for guys to ride members of PETA down the track and use the riding crops on their bare hides. Ok, maybe this is a sex column. I digress.

The other thing that must immediately cease is the Clinton campaign, or at least the media’s insistence on pretending it has viability.

Some may be wondering how I can engage in such specious and circular logic. Simple. The racetrack for the Kentucky Derby is a circle. Some may call it an oval, but upon getting elected, a President sits in the Oval Office. An oval is often an overglorified circle anyway.

“May the circle…be unbroken…by and by lord, by and by…”

That song also has nothing to do with anything. I just like it.

Anyway, those who liked the way that Old Yeller ended up would have loved the conclusion to the existence of Eight Belles. Hillary Clinton does not exit the stage gracefully. Like many other actresses that are past their prime, she needs to be taken out in the backyard and put out of her misery. The old female yeller at everybody who disagrees with her needs to go the way of Old Yeller. No, I am not advocating euthanizing the woman herself…just her campaign.

As for Hoss Hillary’s horse, there was a time when I felt that her campaign for President would never see this day. I still hold out fear and dread that she will find a way at the last second to steal the nomination. Yet that fear and dread is slowly lessening. Hillary might actually be dragged kicking and screaming from the stage. She might actually be close to being done.

When the stake is driven through her black heart (ok, even by my standards that was republican blogger hyperbole), I will believe it.

Hillary Clinton will win Kentucky by a large margin.

Unfortunately for her, the newest predictor of election results, that has a statistical sample of one and a current fallibility ratio of zero, showed her losing badly. The Kentucky Derby has as of now never failed to predict the Presidential race.

She could limp towards the Preakness, but Obama already won Maryland. As for the Belmont Stakes in New York, that race is irrelevant since John Kerry himself won that race by a long face.

One of the greatest horses of all time, even better than John “Smarty Jones” Kerry, was Seattle Slew. Seattle Slew was an elite horse. The city of Seattle is mainly elitist people. They support Obama.

Hillary may have thick hindquarters, but she cannot match the elegance of the younger steed that kicked dust in her face while kicking her rumpus.

Big Brown has won the first leg. Eight Belles has lost everything.

Her fate was a tragedy, but the fate of Hillary’s campaign is a cause for celebration.

The democratic donkeys can act like horse’s @sses, or they can get rid of her already. There is a glue factory for losing candidates waiting for her.

Like horses everywhere that will not stop braying, the time has come to do what should have been done a long time ago.

Hillary, you have brayed enough. It is time for your muzzle.

Blue Moon of Kentucky Keep on Shining.

Keep on shining indeed.


Republican Polling Data

Monday, May 19th, 2008

I had the pleasure of meeting a top republican pollster recently. I was asked to keep his name confidential.

While I often criticize the Jayson Blair Times and others for using anonymous sources, I hope my credibility will allow me to do so in this instance. I have not verified the statistics I will be citing. I find them believable.

Unlike politicians and television personalities, who prefer the spotlight,  pollsters are like mad scientists. They like being deep down below the surface. Karl Rove is all over the television now, but during his White House years he was the Prince of Darkness.

Therefore, it was requested of me not to mention the name of this pollster on my blog. I can only say that he is reputable and respected.

With that, below are some statistical bones to chew on regarding the 2008 Presidential election.

“In 1992, only 19% of the country thinks we are on the right track. We lost that election. In 2008, the number is even lower. Only 15% of the country thinks America is on the right track. That is the lowest number ever in this type of polling.”

“85% of republican men support Israel, as do 85% of Fox News watchers.”

“The lowest support for Israel came from ‘weak democrats,” college educated democrats, and CNN watchers.”

The pollster was not referring to all democrats as weak. The pollster was referring to democrats with a weak party affiliation. Also, the pollster did not state why the percentage of republican men supporting Israel was equal to the percentage of Fox News watchers. Not every republican man watches Fox News, although there is significant overlap.  One theory is that Fox News simply has more Pro-Israel news anchors and programming, while CNN offers Christian Amanpour and offensive series such as “God’s Jewish Warriors.”

I can offer analysis up the ying yang, but this pollster offered descriptive statistics, allowing the audience to come to their own analytical conclusions.

“John McCain only needs 30% of the anti-Bush vote to win the election.”

“Americans are against the Iraq War by a two to one margin, but 25% of people against the war want us to stay and finish the job. The democrats keep mistaking sentiment against the war with wanting to lose the war. Americans want to win.”

“McCain is ahead of Obama by 12 points among independents, but down by 3 points overall.”

To me, this suggest an unhappy base. The base will fall in line.  In 1992, some republicans acted like spoiled brats and stayed home. They claimed they were standing on principle. No, they were standing on ceremony, and electing the Clintons. Republicans can fight McCain after the election, but there are clear differences between Obama and McCain. Falling in line is vital.

Democrats are crowing about winning special elections in Louisiana and Illinois, including the district of former Speaker Dennis Hastert. These districts were held by republicans for 30 years. The pollster offered some positive news on this front.

“Most newcomers start with low negatives. Both republican candidates started with high negatives that were unusual in nature and unrelated to the national GOP.”

Translation…they were bad candidates. In tough years, good candidates are less inclined to run. Nevertheless, in tough times is when they are needed most.

“Obama is too risky. He is too liberal. He is out of step with Americans on the issue of values.”

“39% of the electorate thought Jimmy Carter was a liberal. He won. 56% of voters saw John Kerry as a liberal, and 49% saw Al Gore as a liberal. They lost. 49% see Obama as a liberal.”

Before people claim that Gore won, he should have coasted to victory the way George HW Bush did. Bill Clinton ran away from liberalism, and Gore ran back to it. This is why he lost during peacetime with a healthy, albeit slowing, economy. He lost because liberals lose.

“With Obama, the key will be how liberal he is perceived as.”

“Resources are precious. At the risk of upsetting the national party, this is a good year to donate to specific seats, not the overall party. We should give to John McCain and republican Senator Norm Coleman, not the National Republican Campaign Committee.”

“We should donate to incumbents and republican open seats. There are very few ‘challenge seats.'”

Sincere comments were then offered about Barack Obama regarding Pastor Jeremiah Wright.

“I don’t believe that Obama believes what Wright believes. I don’t believe Obama  believes the anti-American rhetoric or  the conspiracy theories regarding the GOP deliberately giving people Aids. Obama did not stay for 20 years at that church because he was anti-American. He stayed with that Church because in Chicago, that was one of the few churches that would give him street cred.

Pastor Wright’s most recent comments are devastating. Pastor Wright said that he was a Pastor, and would do what he had to do, and that Obama was a politician, doing what he had to do.”

It is one thing for republicans to call Obama a hypocrite and a cynic. It is another when one of his own former supporters, even acting out of vengeance, levels those same charges.

“Reverend Wright changed the game. Obama is no longer transcendent. He is just another politician.”

Good pollsters do not spin. They offer cold hard data. The numbers in a vacuum are not good. The democrats have the upper hand in generic matchups.

Yet the news is far from dire. In specific matchups, we have John McCain, and the democrats have another liberal. Yes, he speaks much better than past liberals did. However, even a brilliant messenger cannot obfuscate a flawed message forever.

Obama is a liberal, and if trends continue, Obama will lose because liberals lose.


Lesbos, Lesbians, Linguistics and Litigation

Sunday, May 18th, 2008

For those who did not know, Lesbos are not lesbians.

In a world where people are dying from war, hunger, natural disasters, and pestilence, there are actually people with enough free time and money to file lawsuits involving disputes that trace their origins back to the 7th Century before the common era. Yes, after 2700 years, the lawyers have finally gone too far.

It is one thing when a lady spills hot coffee on herself that she placed between her legs while driving, and then sues McDonalds. It is one thing when a man sues a dry cleaners place for 50 million dollars over one pair of pants. It is one thing when a student gets drunk, breaks into a university gymnasium, jumps on a trampoline, lands awkwardly, becomes a paraplegic, and sues the university.

Although it was completely fictional, it was one thing when a comic strip portrayed a paparazzi taking pictures of Sean Penn. Sean Penn punches the paparazzi, who sues the Minolta Camera Company for 10 million dollars.

It is one thing when the World Wildlife Fund sues the Worldwide Wrestling Federation over the initials WWF. Environmental conservationists have nothing to do with awkwardly dressed pugilists. Unless Jesse “The Body” Ventura killed the bird that was used to put the feather boa in his hair, there should be no conflict of interest between these groups. The wrestlers went from WWF to WWE. There is no news yet on how the World Wide Florists feel about this matter.

Nevertheless, the line of litigaton lunacy has finally been crossed. For the sake of alliteration, legal sanity has been leapfrogged.

For those too lazy to click on the link, much less read it, a brief synopsis is in order.

“ATHENS, Greece (AP) — A Greek court has been asked to draw the line between gay women and the natives of the Aegean Sea island of Lesbos.

Three islanders from Lesbos — home of the ancient poet Sappho, who praised love between women — have taken a gay rights group to court for using the word lesbian in its name.”

Yes folks, I am fighting the urge to wipe away hysterical tears of laughter over this one.

I have to side with the lesbians on this one. Not the Lesbians, aka the people of Lesbos, but the lesbians, aka homosexual women.

We could start calling them dykes, but that might be an insult to those that build dams. Also, when water starts to burst, an expression often used is “putting your finger in the dyke” to stop the flow. Therefore, that is a non-starter. Also, dams is short for damsels in distress. No, not really. However, one type of dam is the beaver dam. We could call women beaver dams, but that would be opening up a world of linguistic pain. Then these women might sue the “Beaver Mustard” company for reasons I do not want to even think about. Too late.

The plaintiffs had this to say.

“One of the plaintiffs said Wednesday that the name of the association, Homosexual and Lesbian Community of Greece, ‘insults the identity’ of the people of Lesbos, who are also known as Lesbians.”

Anyway, the lesbians responded to the Lesbians.

“‘My sister can’t say she is a Lesbian,’ said Dimitris Lambrou. ‘Our geographical designation has been usurped by certain ladies who have no connection whatsoever with Lesbos,’ he said.”

The bottom line is that the Lesbians are concerned that because lesbians are gay, everybody will think that Lesbians are also gay.

As for the lesbians, sometimes referred to as lesbian spear chuckers, while I happen to agree that this lawsuit is ridiculous, they cannot understand why anybody would object to being associated with them.

“‘I don’t see how the word can be an insult,’ Evangelia Vlami said.”

Let me explain this to the gay community, as somebody who supports them on some issues. Not everybody is gay. Despite the fact that gay is the new black, and that everybody and anybody on television is gay, there are people in society who are not gay. Despite the fact that every third episode of “Law and Order” involves some character being gay, straight people still exist in this world. Gay people are 10% (they can argue 30%, it does not change my point). That is why they are an “alternative” lifestyle. Straight people are the other 90%. They are “mainstream.”

This is not an insult or a pejorative of any kind. Alternative music by definition is music that is alternative to what is considered “popular” music or “mainstream” music. It has a smaller following, but that does not mean it is of a lower quality (For the sake of ethics, I detest alternative music, and think it is for teenage girls with nose rings and blue hair).

People that are “different” like to use words such as “special,” to make themselves feel better. When everybody is special, nobody is special. Handicapped people are not “handicapable.” They are handicapped. They have some limitations. The shame is not the handicap. The shame is the euphemism in covering it up.

So yes, if somebody were to imply that I was homosexual, I would think they were an idiot, and be offended. When a man whines, he is often told to “stop acting like a woman.” This is not to denigrate an entire gender. Women are more emotional. This is biologically factual.

So while the lawsuit is ridiculous, for gay people to deliberately fail to understand why straight people would not want to be labeled as gay is also ridiculous. Ask any gay person if they would choose to be gay if given the choice at birth (I personally believe people are born gay. They cannot be ‘made’ straight.), and they would say that they would opt for being straight.

The bottom line is that being gay should not be condemned nor should it be celebrated. The point is to get to a point in society where it is simply irrelevant. Some people prefer strawberry pancakes, others prefer blueberry. Neither of those choices mandate angst or balloons.

The Lesbians offered more concerns about female homosexuals, but not the lifestyle itself.

“‘This is not an aggressive act against gay women,’ Lambrou said. ‘Let them visit Lesbos and get married and whatever they like. We just want (the group) to remove the word lesbian from their title.'”

The lesbians pointed out that the people from the island of Lesbos do not have to call themselves Lesbians. They can call themselves “people from the island of Lesbos.”

In all fairness, that does take longer to say. More importantly, others can argue who came first, Lesbians or lesbians.

What makes things even more complex is that another name for lesbians that is not considered a pejorative is to refer to them as “daughters of Sappho.” A daughter of Sappho is a legitimiate term for a female homosexual. Sappho was a poet whose poetry express love for other women. However, Sappho lived on this island of Lesbos! She is from there!

Folks, stupidity is as old as the hills. It will be with us forever. It is how people from the nation of Turkey could organize a boycott against the Dole Pineapple Company in 1996 over anger at comments made by then Presidential candidate Bob Dole. A panicked executive for the company issued an immediate press release stating that their company was apolitical. They did not prefer republicans or democrats. They just wanted people of all stripes worldwide to enjoy delicious tasting pineapples and other fruit.

Speaking of the people of Turkey, labels do matter. It is one reason why they calls themselves Turks, as opposed to Turkeys. The turkey is not considered an intelligent creature.

When all is said and done, short of following Shakespeare’s advice and killing all the lawyers, people need to lighten up. No, that is not a reference to everybody becoming caucasian. Black people can retain their dark pigmentation and still chill out.

There are 250,000 people living on the island of Lesbos. Most of them, in keeping with statistics worldwide, are heterosexual. If they were to come to America and say they were Lesbians, we might giggle at first, but all they would have to say is “from the Island of Lesbos.”

With the exception of the many 14 year old boys that cannot handle such terminology without bursting into laughter, most people would be find with it.

After all, there is a town in Florida called Jupiter. Nobody thinks these people are from a different planet. They are citizens of Earth, and America.

I wonder if there is life on other planets. If so, I hope those other planets do not have lawyers. We might get somebody from Jupiter suing the town in Florida. People from Saturn will be suing the car company of the same name. People from Venus and Mars will be suing the author of the book, “Women are from Venus, men are from Mars.”

Normally I would say that the lesbians need to shut up and be quiet, but in this case, it is the Lesbians that need to take the equivalent of a time out.

As for the island of Lesbos, unless somebody can bring me back evidence that the island is filled with women making out all day while wearing mermaid type outfits, this issue should be put to bed, heterosexual Lesbian style.

If these female romps are occuring, then the Lesbians are liars, and are self hating. Then the only issue would be if they were attractive enough to be worth videotaping for a Girls Gone Wild video.

Ugly people can speak romance languages, and straight people can be Lesbians.

It all does work out in the long run, as long as one accepts that God (nature for atheists) exists, and has one fabulous sense of humor.

If only Lesbians and lesbians appreciated the joke.

Now it is time for dinner. Linguistics with clam sauce…my favorite.


A well dressed vagabond in Washington, DC

Saturday, May 17th, 2008

For those who know, I recently descended upon the nation’s capital, Washington, DC. I am as thrilled to be back in Los Angeles as DC was to get rid of me.

I had a plan in place. A 4pm flight would have gotten me to DC just before midnight. The rental car company is usually the least complicated aspect of my trips, allowing me to arrive around 1am at the DC apartment of the DC Vixen. The DC Vixen is a republican Jewish brunette, but I am happily involved with the Chicago Cannonball. At 1am, the DC Vixen had what any man in that situation would desire…a couch to sleep on and a warm shower in the morning. My meetings at the White House were supposedly to begin at 9am, giving me a good 7 hours of sleep. I prefer 14, but 7 would have to suffice.

Unfortunately, not everything in this world that is American is set up to allow plans to function properly. While I try to consider myself patriotic, I do not blindly follow my nation. I believe in America, but nothing bothers me more than something that claims to be American, and yet acts unamerican. I was the victim of the worst kind of American.

Yes, I am referring to that bastion of worthlessness, American Airlines. I detest flying them. If I ever had a positive experience flying them, I was too young to remember it. Although United is a close second, American stands alone at the bottom. In an industry as contemptible as the airline industry, that says a lot.

I have said on many occasions that I worship at the altar of big business. Therefore, if you are a big business, and I dislike you, then nobody in America likes you. If you are the worst in an industry I dislike, then you should quit. Nevertheless, American Airlines did not quit entirely. They just acted like they did, which led to a four hour delay of my flight. I did manage to get a whole row to myself, and thankfully I sleep very well on planes. Even American could not bother me while I was asleep.

Before taking off, I called the DC Vixen and let her know that I was arriving at 4am instead of 1am. She let me know, sweet angel that she is, that I was not going to be arriving at her place at that hour. I am still shocked to this day knowing how many women sleep comfortably without me showing up. I asked her if I could just drop by her place and use her shower. Unfortunately, she wakes up at 5:45am and leave at 6:30am. I asked if I could use her shower at 5am. She reminded me that she is not a morning person, and this was not going to work.

She did offer me a suggestion that actually seemed feasible at the time. I should just go straight to the hotel that was having the conference, and use the shower in their gym. I have to admit I did not think of that. I arrived at the hotelat 4:30am.

Just before reaching the hotel, I noticed that one area had a ton of security and do not enter signs. I needed to turn my car around, and on more than one occasion even high security areas would allow me to enter, make a u-turn, loop around, and promptly exit, so I would be headed in the right direction. Yet this place seemed like a fortress. I was curious as to what could be so special that I could not make a simple u-turn without enduring a conflict that I would not survive.

I looked up, and realized I was at the White House. Ok, fine. The extra security was merited. I turned my car around in the middle of the street, although there was no traffic at 4:30am. I pulled up to the hotel, and looked for the gym.

The Hotel was the St. Regis. For those who ever want to brag that they stayed in the hotel right next to the White House, it only costs $800 per night. For $700 a night less than that, a Courtyard Marriott has a comfortable bed and a tv set with enough channels to make life peaceful.

Looking at this hotel, I kept thinking that it looked like the type of place where people like Eliot Spitzer and Ted Kennedy kept their girlfriends. It is located on K Street, which is where all the lobbyists hang out. As much as I love politics, being that close to everything made me want to give myself a good scrubbing. Then again, it could have been the grime of being on a plane all night that gave me that feeling.

The gym was locked. Only guests were allowed to use the facilities. This hotel was not about to make an exception. I explained that while I was not staying at the hotel, I was attending the conference. They stated that if I wanted to rent a room, I could. When they quoted the $800 price, I had the concierge help me find my eyeballs on the floor. I popped them back in, and explained to them that I only really needed a bed for 4 hours, and that I knew they did not do discounts in such a ritzy area. To my surprise, they were willing to do a partial stay for only $565. Given these prices, I can see why Spitzer’s call girl charged so much. She lived in one expensive town.

Although I was not permitted to use the gym for a shower, I was allowed to use the bathroom. I completely missed the normal bathroom and wandered into a private bathroom that was bigger than my first dorm room in college. The napkins to wipe hands with were big, and they were thick. They were thick as…well…towels.

Yes, Skid Row had met the White House. I locked the door, stripped down, and used the sink to take a shower. Thankfully it was 4:30am, and nobody was awake. The lather from the hand soap was rich enough, and the sink faucets had water that was just lukewarm enough. I managed to lather, rinse, and dry off, and even have time to brush my teeth, hoping that the hotel management would not find out. A housecleaning lady did come by, but thankfully did not knock on the door. Before changing into my suit, I had to dry the floor. Whatever material is used to make those hotel napkins is a most impressive substance.

There is nothing like the feel of a nice suit over a body that has had an inadequate shower and most likely an even less adequate soap removal. Nevertheless, given how badly Washington reeks, the worst I could do was fit in.

It was now 5am, and the concierge told me I was welcome to read the paper, but sleeping in the lobby was not permitted. The guy seemed to empathize with my situation, but I know he would have gotten in trouble had other hotel guests seen a vagrant in the lobby. Granted I was quite the well dressed vagabond in my suit and patriotic American flag necktie, but putting lipstick on a pig doesn’t make it a gazelle. I definitely did not look my Wednesday best.

I went to the breakfast room, accepted a couple of complimentary newspapers, and found a chair on the other side of a divider that was obstructed from view. The chair was facing the outdoors, so that my back was to the public. It looked like I was reading the paper. I fell asleep in the chair, all the while aware that more than one episode of “Murder, She Wrote” had an episode where somebody spun aound a chair to find a dead guy sitting in it. In at least one case, the wrong guy was killed. Why can’t killers look and make sure that the right person is being targeted? Besides, at that moment the chair would have been a bigger loss to the hotel than me if anything had happened. It was an expensive chair.

After some more intermittent sleep, the meetings actually started at 10am instead of 9am. As someone who does not drink alcohol, I was surprised to see Bloody Mary’s being served. I truly was in a town filled with Kennedys. It turns out they were virgin drinks, which allowed me to try the Bloody Mary for the first time. They were miniatures, and I had 3 or 4 of them. Man, I hope they were non-alcoholic. Given that I was staggering due to exhaustion, I assume the drinks were virgin drinks because I was not any less coherent or dextrous after consuming them.

Despite burning eyes and searing exhaustion, I made it through the meetings. I departed for Dulles Airport, which might be one of the worst ones in the nation. American Airlines actually almost left on time, and again I had a whole row to myself.

Yes Dorothy, there truly is no place like home. My shower is mine, and nobody can ban me from using it. Sure, the building could have turned off the water for maintenance, but I would have just at that point killed an innocent bystander and taken their restroom. Or I would have sulked and accepted it, or something inbetween.

I still love politics, but DC is not for me. In the spirit of Randy Newman, all I can say is that I love LA.


RJC in DC–Wisdom from the White House

Friday, May 16th, 2008

I had the pleasure recently of attending the most recent leadership meeting of the Republican Jewish Coalition. This meeting was held in Washington, DC. It was held at the St. Regis Hotel on K Street, across the street from the White House. The initial plan was to meet people at the White House, but due to logistics, the members of the President’s staff came to the hotel instead.

There were fine minds as always, and it was an absolute thrill meeting Sir Charles of Krauthammer. Given the substance of these meetings, more than one day is required to give the events justice. Also, for reasons of confidentiality, some information is redacted. Nevertheless, below are some remarks from some of the speakers, all of whom contributed to a quality conference.

Senator John McCain was represented by his campaign manager, Rick Davis. While he acknowledged that 2008 could be a tough year, the Presidential race is up for grabs.

In speaking about our fine republican nominee, Mr. Davis stated that “John McCain’s life is about serving the Commander in Chief, not being one.”

“Some lament the length of Presidential races. The length of these campaigns is actually a good thing. Some people want it to be over, but in America our races get you into the soul of the person who would lead the free world over a two year period. We learn much about them, and this is positive.”

“Even with two years of studying, we cannot predict the future. We could not have predicted 9/11, or that President Bush would have become the most important foreign policy President of this century.”

“While he has raised less money, John McCain actually has more cash on hand than Hillary Clinton.”

“The key is to targe states that seem out of reach but are within reach. In 2000, George W. Bush had 11 target states. John McCain has doubled that. He has 22 target states. Also, California absolutely will be targeted. California usually is a place where republicans come, raise money, and leave. We will compete for California, forcing the other side to spend resources here.”

“John McCain has been underestimated throughout his life.”

The next speaker was President Bush’s Deputy Chief of Staff, Joel Kaplan. He is likable and funny. His remarks were mostly policy, but my question for him was about politics. The question was a softball regarding the President himself, but was meant to be a hardball question towards those that are supposed to be his defenders. 

“Mr. Kaplan, I am deeply concerned about the President’s poll numbers. Every day this guy is taking a battering from critics that I believe are not fit to lick his boots. What is being done to hit back hard so that 20 years from now people will know what a good, decent man he is?”

Again, this may appear to be a softball, but I am genuinely ticked off that the people that are his toughest critics are wrong, unfair, and often unkind.

Mr. Kaplan offered an acceptable answer.

“First of all, I am going to punt on this question, and let (White House Press Secretary) Dana Perino answer it. What I can tell you is that this President is guided by principles, not polls. Would he like to be popular? Of course, we all would. That does not change the fact that he is going to do what he believes is right. When he says he does not care about shaping his legacy, he means it. History will sort that out. He is going to do what he thinks is best for America in the long run. Others can obsess about polls. He is about principles.”

Mr. Kaplan then went on to tell an amusing story regarding a mistake in a transcript.

“A few weeks ago Dana Perino finished her daily briefing, and I read the transcript. A question was asked about the President being sapped of energy down the stretch. Ms. Perino responded that ‘The President will be absolutely fine, there’s a lot of Jews left in the White House.’ I beamed with pride, but felt this was a bit much. I went up to her and thanked her for her support, but wondered if she had overstated the role I and others had played. She told me that the transcript was a mistake, and that what she actually said was that ‘There’s a lot of juice left in the White House.'”

I found Mr. Kaplan after his speech. I told him point blank that, “I don’t care if the man’s polls drop to 10%. I know he’s right, and I know history will vindicate him.”

He thanked me, and let me know that he does relay messages of support to the President, and that the support absolutely helps. I finshed with one thought.

“I know he has an impossible job. Let him know I am praying for him.”

Mr. Kaplan told me to keep doing so.

White House Press Secretary Dana Perino was next.

“President Bush is gender blind. He is comfortable around strong women because he is surrounded by them. From his mother to his wife to his daughters to his Press Secretary, we are everywhere.”

“One problem with the internet is the coarseness of the public debate. I hope women can change that.”

“In the Middle East, women play a prominent role. Israel has women in power, and Mahmoud Abbas has a female Press Secretary.”

When asked about how she stands the daily grilling from the media, her answer was simple, yet sensible.

“The way to do well is to be more prepared than the reporters. Be prepared, consult more experts, and have more facts. Tough opinions can be countered with hard facts.”

“There has been a tidal wave of competition since 2000. Everybody wants to get the best dig in. Yet we are still here.”

“This may surprise some of you, but David Gregory is actually pretty fair. He is tough, but he asks fair questions.”

I remember David Gregory as the judgmental guy who got drunk and went on the air babbling nonsense. It is not fair to judge him by that one episode, but a man who asks tough questions sure did not want questions asked of him about that incident.

“Helen Thomas is exasperating. She wears her agenda on her sleeve. I now answer all her questions by starting out by mentioning her name. That way when the transcript comes out, everybody can point to one of her questions and know that she asked it. I will say, ‘Helen, now you know…’ She finally realized I was doing it and called me on it, but I still keep doing it.”

She was not interested in helping Barack Obama.

“I won’t give Obama advice because he might take it. Stop it Karl Rove. Don’t help them. They might listen.”

She then showed some self depracating humor.

“Obama has a glass jaw. I actually am not exactly sure what that means. I know it is a sports metaphor, and I just wanted to sound like I knew sports.”

She then turned to my earlier question of Mr. Kaplan.

“As for the person who asked about the President’s poll numbers, he is not dwelling on them. He is perfectly comfortable going on to the next chapter of his life after the next President takes over. He will go back to his ranch, and be perfectly content to live his life outside of Washington.”

Unlike democrats, who have a tendency to never let go, and think that they still are President, republican Presidents leave with dignity, and do what an ex-President should do…shut up and be quiet, and let their successor form their own path.

Her last comment was with regard to a rumor that the President has lost support in Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice.

“President Bush absolutely backs Condi Rice 100%.”

After her speech, when I met her, she stated that she would have somebody from her office contact me regarding an interview of her. I stated that I understood how busy she was. We shall see.    

The last speaker of the day was Richard Baehr from American Thinker. I have gotten to know him over the past year, and he is a friend. He is very solid on offering political analysis, and he does not sugar coat potential results.

“The democrats are having an internal debate right now on whether or not to give up on Florida. As close as Florida was in 2000, it is now fairly safe for the republicans. If the democrats give up on Florida, they would have to do a lot to win the White House. They would have to win Ohio. No republican has ever won the White House without Ohio. Another strategy that they would try to do is run the table of the four states of Iowa, New Mexico, Colorado, and Nevada. This is going to be tough because John McCain is a Westerner from Arizona.”

“One of the key hidden constituency group in this election is Asians. Republicans can do very well among this group. When Michelle Obama makes her remarks about America being unfair, and Asians are sitting at home with 1600 SAT scores and rejection letters, it bothers them.”

“California is not a lost cause. 35% of California voters belong to three groups that John McCain could do well with…Jews, Asians, and Hispanics.”

“Some would argue that republicans cannot do well with Jews, especially since George W. Bush was the best friend Israel ever had, and he still only received 25% of the Jewish vote. There are other reasons Jews did not support him. First of all, Jews did not like his father, and thought he would be like his father. Secondly, he wears his religion on his sleeve, and Jews are scared to death of religious Christians. They think that all Christians want to convert us. Most Jews that convert end up converting to nothing, not Christianity. Lastly, President Bush is a Texan, and Jews often sneer at Southerners. John McCain is a Westerner, and while he is a Christian, he does not go to Church that often or talk about his religious faith. Between that and his strong support for Israel, he could pick up more of the Jewish vote.”

In the coming days, the wisdom of Bill Kristol, and of course, Sir Charles of Krauthammer, will be offered.

Once again, the RJC made me proud to be a member of the leadership by putting on such a quality conference.



RJC in DC–Meeting Sir Charles of Krauthammer

Thursday, May 15th, 2008

At the most recent leadership meeting of the Republican Jewish Coalition, I insisted months earlier that I would not attend. I did not want to fly from Los Angeles to Washington, DC, for one day. To spend money on a plane ticket, and use up one vacation day from work, was not going to happen. I thoroughly enjoy RJC events, but I was absolutely not attending this meeting.  My time is valuable, and short of getting Charles Krauthammer as a speaker,  I was skipping this one.

Several days later, an email arrived in my inbox. The featured guest at the next RJC Leadership meeting would be none other than Sir Charles of Krauthammer himself. I shook my fist to the sky, said, “D@mn you Larry Greenfield!” (my dear friend at the RJC in Los Angeles, who keeps letting me know about such spectacular events), and immediately made plans to go to Washington. The event was directly next door to the White House, and with the exception of President Bush and Vice President Cheney, there is nobody that I wanted to meet more than Charles Krauthammer.

The word gets overused, but he is a genius. God has restricted him physically. He is confined to a wheelchair, and therefore rarely leaves Washington, DC. The rare times he has, the events were sold out to capacity. This was another reason I made the trip. As for limitations on his physical mobility, God compensated by simply giving him one of the finest minds on Earth.

The man is one of my intellectual heroes, and I do not have that many. I count the list on one hand.

Rather than offer any more well deserved effusive praise for this intellectual giant, I will let his words speak for themselves. With that, below is the wit, warmth, and wisdom of Solomon, or as he is known on Earth, Charles Krauthammer.

“I have gone in a quarter of a century from covering Walter Mondale to appearing on Fox News. My defense for my past is that I was young once.”

“I am a licensed psychiatrist. I have been a psychiatrist in remission for 25 years.”

“The world of psychiatry  and the world of Washington both involve dealing with people that have delusions of grandeur.  Washington is more dangerous because the people with delusions of grandeur have access to nuclear weapons.”

“Either God is a republican, or God has a good sense of humor. The democrats have nominated their weakest candidate. The republicans, by complete accident, have nominated their strongest candidate.”

“The republicans got lucky. First, Mike Huckabee had to defeat Mitt Romney in Iowa. Then John McCain  won New Hampshire.  Then Fred Thompson siphoned off just enough support in South Carolina to allow McCain to defeat Huckabee. In addition, heavy snowstorms affected the part of the state that was strongest for Huckabee.  In addition, the Giuliani strategy benefited McCain. Rudy Giuliani was his main competition. With John McCain, the republicans nominated the one guy who can win. None of the others could have won. Only McCain can.”

“Winning three straight elections is difficult. Only Ronald Reagan in the modern era won a third term,  in the form of George  Herbert Walker Bush.”

Mr. Krauthammer’s analysis of Barack Obama was equally brilliant.

“Obama may not believe the words of Pastor Jeremiah Wright, but Wright is correct when he says that Obama is just a politician.”

“It is interesting regarding the timing of Obama’s denunciation of Wright. He had 20 years to be offended, but only objected when he himself was attacked as a pandering politician by his former pastor. Insulting the United States of America is one thing. Insulting Obama himself really offends him.”

“Obama is not unpatriotic. He is a leftist academic, not a radical. He loves America, but he is an academic.”

“Obama has never expressed a gut position on Israel.”

“Pastor Wright said that ‘Zionism, not Judaism, is a gutter religion.’ This is quite the bizarre statement.”

“At the ABC debate, George Stephanopolis asked a clear question. ‘Is an attack on Israel an attack on the USA, requiring retaliation in line with the NATO Alliance?’ (Stephanopolis was not stating that Israel was a member of NATO. The question remains valid.) Hillary Clinton remarked that obliterating Iran would be the response.”

“‘Obliterating’ Iran was a ‘moderate’ way to put it (the crowd laughed hysterically), and an effective way to put it.”

“If we can make Persian History a memory, Iran might think twice.”

“Obama calls an attack on Israel ‘unacceptable.’ Now that is tough talk.”

“Obama is a rookie. He gave a non-answer to a new question. His answer was ignorance and prudence. Dilpomacy with Iran on the nuclear issue is nonsense and totally useless. We had three useless UN resolutions, then the EU 3 of Britain, France and Germany offered nothing. Obama is prepared to fly to Tehran, and tell them what? Is he naive or cynical? Unacceptable? That will scare the hell out of the Mullahs. Negotiation is an excuse to do nothing. He does not accept the premise that Iran is trying to go nuclear. Aggressive diplomacy?  That has meant nothing, and been tried for the last six years”

“Candidates spend time preparing for every possible questions in debates, and Obama was simply confronted  with an unexpected and new question. He chose what he thought was a safe, inoffensive answer, which is his general strategy.”

“President Bush has the legal authority to attack Iran. However, having the moral authority is tough with a 28% approval rating.”

“If we attack the Strait of Hormuz, oil will skyrocket to $200 to $300 per barrel, and Hezbollah will attack from Lebanon. In October of 2006 (When the NIE report came out and was manipulated to hurt the case for an attack), President Bush was resigned to no attack.”

“Some say Israel should attack Iran. Israel might not have the physical capacity to do it. This is not like attacking the Osirak reactor in 1981 or Damascus in 2007. Iran is further away from Israel. Refueling might be an issue. In September of 2007, Israel hit Syria through Turkey. Turkey allowed Israel to hit Syria. They might not be willing to do so again.  Iran is not a one day operation. It might take a couple of weeks.”

“The Mullahs will be overthrown. Half the population is under 25. They hate the Mullahs. The USA must simply have a ‘nuclear umbrella’ over Israel.”

“Israel at 60 is one of the great historical acts of all time. Israel is now in a stable situation from terror.  In 2002, there were 59 homicide bombings. In 2007, there was one.”

“President George W. Bush is the best on Israel since President Truman.”

“The Gaza withdrawal was a good thing, but Israel should have declared an immediate policy of deterrence. One rocket attack should have yielded 100 in response.”

“Why does Israel supply the Palestinians with electricity and food? Prime Minister Ehud Ohlmert botched the war in 2006, and Bibi (former and hopefully the next Prime Minister of Israel) would not tolerate such nonsense.”

“We must stay and succeed in Iraq. We have our General. The war is the most important issue for the United States and Israel.”

“Antisemites are pathological.  We’ve gone from  having no Holocaust at all to saying it was induced by the Zionists. Try understanding that one.”

“There is a certain psychosis in liberal Jews backing Obama, yet saying that they love Israel.”

“In April of 2002, President Bush gave Ariel Sharon free reign, not 48 hours. Yet liberal Jews see President Bush as the antichrist.”

Mr. Krauthammer was at his very best when he discussed the meetings at Annapolis, Maryland. Many stauch backers of President Bush wondered if the man who supported Israel fiercely for 6 1/2 years was beginning to waver. Was he so desperate for a peace agreement the way his predecessor was that he was willing to pressure Israel?

No, he was not. Annapolis meant nothing, and I personally was never worried. I kept telling my friends to calm down, that Annapolis was just feel good symbolism. President Bush every once in awhile needs to offer the mildest of criticism towards Israel to make it look like he is neutral. He has been a friend of Israel, and will remain so. One only needs to see Palestinians burning him in effigy with the passion of modern  liberals to realize that he had not changed his views.

I was thrilled when Mr. Krauthammer offered the same assessment I have offered since Annapolis. For a brief moment I felt like I was on his intellectual level. That disappeared when he expressed those sentiments in a much more eloquent manner.

“Do not worry about Annapolis. Annapolis is meaningless. It is a great photo opportunity, not a sellout. It looks great, and accomplishes nothing. It was completely useless. By diplomatic standards it was a total and complete success.”

The crowd howled with laughter.

“Jews support Obama over McCain by about 80%-20%. Liberal Jews see voting in their own self interest to be a violation of a moral principle. This is insane.”

As thrilling as his remarks were, meeting him was more of a thrill.

I asked him before his speech if I could give him a gift. He said, “not right now, afterwards is fine.”

It quickly occurred to me that if everybody placed gifts in his lap, it would make steering his wheelchair more difficult! He was appreciative, but wanted anyone offering gifts to wait until after his speech,  when it would be easier for him to navigate from the lobby to his car. He did so after his speech with several gifts sitting in his lap, including mine.

After his speech, I had my picture taken with him, and patiently waited my turn to speak to him. I allowed others to cut in front of me because I wanted more time, which comes to those who wait for the crowd to disperse. He was not pressed for time, allowing me to be gracious about it. He was being treated like a rock star, which I more than understood. Then I finally spoke to him.

I asked him if he had been knighted yet, and if he was now known as “Sir Charles of Krauthammer.”

He warmly responded, “I haven’t yet. I haven’t found a nation that has been willing to do it. That would be nice though.”

I then asked him a more serious question.

“Mr. Krauthammer, on a more serious note, given all the recent European leaders that are very friendly to Israel, such as Sarkozy (Nicolas, President of France), Berlusconi (Silvio, Prime Minister of Italy), and Harper (Stephen, Prime Minister of Canada), isn’t now the best time for Israel to attack Iran? Isn’t this a brief window of time with world leaders that would be ok with such a strike?”

Mr. Krauthammer empathized but reiterated an earlier point of his.

“It would be great, but I just don’t know if Israel has the physical capacity to do it.”

Lastly, I gave him my gift.

“Mr. Krauthammer, I am a republican blogger. Every day I take verbal brickbats to the Daily Kossacks and others (He thanked me for that). You are the model of how I want my column to be. I like that you raise the level of discourse while keeping your convictions. Forgive me, but my gift to you is more an attempt at shameless self promotion than a gift (he laughed). I hope you like some of my better columns (I gave him an envelope with some of those columns and a very nice note), and I hope they are up to your standards. If they are, I would be honored to interview you one day.”

He genuinely thanked me, and did not commit to a timetable for an interview. I certainly was not going to press the issue. In fact, I was concerned that even giving him the columns might be too aggressive. Nevertheless, I was not too concerned to refrain. I hope he found me polite about it.

When I went to shake his hand, he offered me a closed fist, which is what he did with everybody. I gently clasped his hand, and made sure not to accidentally hurt him. When he wheeled away with his gifts sitting in his lap, he seemed genuinely happy about receiving such a warm reception from the people at the conference.

Of course, this was to be expected. The Republican Jewish Coalition would offer extreme warmth to one of the greatest Jewish republicans in this country. In addition, he is a proud Neocon. Of course we love the guy.

To get to meet an intellectual titan was a thrill that even his words might describe. Well, maybe his could, but mine cannot.

He is a hero of mine, and I wish him well always.

I just hope that the Queen of England or some other dignitary finally takes my advice through osmosis and knights this man already.

I am absolutely not going to the next DC meeting. I don’t want to go. Short of getting Nicholas Sarkozy or Silvio Berlusconi, I am definitively and positively not going. Given what high caliber people go to these meetings, the RJC will most likely make me eat my words again.

After all, I was absolutely not attending this past meeting.

Then again, as a proud member of the (Republican) Zionist Crusader Alliance (For World Domination), it was a privilege to meet our unofficial leader, the honorable Sir Charles of Krauthammer.


Israel at 60

Wednesday, May 14th, 2008

On May 14th, 2008, Israel declared itself an independent nation.

On May 14th, 2008, I am beaming with pride.

I am proud to be a Jew. I am proud to be a supporter of Israel, the land of Milk and Honey.

I am proud that a nation could take uninhabitable land that nobody initially wanted, build some orange groves, and eventually become the Silicon Valley of the Middle East.

Israel is a fragile experiment in democracy. Surrounded by enemies that are technically human beings, but often fail to act like it, Israel is able to survive and thrive with dignity and toughness.

Below are some links of organizations that actually care about the survival of Israel as a Jewish state.

For those who wonder which world leaders have been best towards Israel over the last 60 years, below is a sample.

George W. Bush, Ronald Reagan, Winston Churchill, Nicolas Sarkozy, Silvio Berlusconi, Ariel Sharon, Bibi Netanyahu, Yitzchak Shamir, Menachem Begin, and John Howard, and Richard Nixon, among others.

The United States House has Eric Cantor, Mark Kirk, Michelle Bachmann, the late Tom Lantos, and former Speaker Newt Gingrich, among others.

The Senate has Norm Coleman, John McCain, Joseph Lieberman, the late Henry “Scoop” Jackson, and former Senator Alphonse D’Amato, among others.

Pundits and media people include Sir Charles of Krauthammer, Victor Davis Hanson, Sean Hannity, Ralph Peters, Dennis Prager, and John Podhoretz, among others.

Below are some blogs that care deeply about Israel.

There are a million things I want to say, but I am truly overcome with emotion.

Israel now and Israel forever.

Jews are here to stay. We are good people, and we will never leave this Earth.

May God bless the State of Israel and Jews everywhere.

60 years from now, I may still be among the living. I might have my sight and my hearing.

I will have my dignity.

I will also finally be putting my money where my mouth is 3 months from now. In August of 2008 I will be taking my very first trip to the Holy Land. From Tel Aviv to Jerusalem, I will be there.

Hineni. Here I am. I am proud to be a Jew, and proud to stand with Israel.

Happy 60th Israel. May the next 60 years bring joy, love, and security that allows for a true peace.



Black Arrogance Meets White West Virginia

Tuesday, May 13th, 2008

Barack Obama is being done in by his own arrogance. Yes, a man can be black and be arrogant. Attitudes are 100% uncorrelated with melanin content. Anybody can be smug.

To make things crystal clear, I have often stated that I personally like Barack Obama. I disagree with his views on taxes and trade, but find him to be a decent fellow. I wanted him to defeat Hillary Clinton in the democratic primary because I simply like him better than her. I am voting for John McCain, but am thrilled that Hillary is on the verge of being taken down.

Nevertheless, Barack Obama has not closed the deal. Every time Hillary is about to be counted out, she has survived. Yes, the Clintons are the political equivalent of Lazarus. Yet Obama does not help the situation by driving the stake through his own heart when he should be finishing her off.

The bottom line is every time Obama is on the verge of wrapping up the democratic nomination, he gets too full of himself, and takes a step backwards.

After Obama crushed Hillary in Iowa, he was supposed to cruise in New Hampshire. Then when Hillary was asked about her likability, her major weakness, Obama got pompous. He coolly looked barely at her and said, “You’re likable enough Hillary.”

Most people agreed with him, but realize he should not have said it. His nose was so high in the air that he was starting to look French (pre-Sarkozy). “Looking French” is a death knell criticism. It did in John Kerry. Americans want a man’s man, not a guy who eats Brie cheese and surrenders in war. Yes, this is a stereotype, but stereotypes are based on truths.

Had Obama won New Hampshire, Hillary would have folded. He would have crushed her. Instead, she survived.

This was after he asked an Iowa corn farmer if he planted arugula. This is akin to when former President George HW Bush looked befuddled by a scanner at a grocery store. Ordinary people know what a scanner is, and they don’t buy arugula at the grocery. How could anybody running for a serious office not know that Iowa corn farmers plant corn? That is why they are called corn farmers!

After these gaffes, in San Francisco of all places, he made remarks about how bitter people cling to guns and religion.

First of all, liberal politicians should not even be seen in San Francisco. If they have to walk the streets, they should wear disguises similar to politicians or celebrities who visit prostitutes or gay bath houses. They should absolutely not be seen hobnobbing with “celebrities.”

These “bitter” remarks allowed Hillary to portray herself as culturally conservative. Yes, this is ludicrous. No, Hillary does not have anything in common with average Americans. Yes, she has contempt for Middle America. Those are facts. Facts do not matter when the perception to the contrary is overwhelming.

Now Obama is making another arrogant mistake. He is barely campaigning in West Virginia.

Obama has conceded West Virginia. Yes, he is technically in the state, but he is already campaigning elsewhere. He is treating West Virginia the same way Hillary treated South Carolina.

Hillary refused to compete in states with large black populations. She discounted losses there as not counting. This was racially poisonous, and bad judgment from a delegate standpoint. Her race based campaign in South Carolina led Obama to gain 90% of the black vote in subsequent primaries. This was not the case beforehand.

Now Obama is dismissing West Virginia. Rural white voters are simply not his target.

This only feeds into the perception that Obama is an elitist.

First of all, the notion that black people cannot be arrogant because they have traditionally been abused by society is a nonsensical argument. Societies are not individuals. Individual black people are not monolithic. They have all the same traits that white people have. So yes, a person can have a dark pigmentation and still have negative qualities.

I am not convinced that Obama is an elitist. I just think that sometimes he gets too full of himself, and does not have somebody to remind him that he is a mere mortal, and not the guy who could take a trip to the toilet and then sell it on Ebay. His wife is certainly an elitist, and she seems to have a seething rage that would make Hillary proud.

The fact that Obama grew up under tough circumstances does not mean anything. People often forget where they come from.

He once remarked that if he wanted to gain advantages in society, he would not have his name, since being named Barack Obama does not give one built in advantages in life. That is a great line, but it is false. His unique name gives him branding, which is key in politics. A guy named “Barry,” which he used to be known as, is simply less unique than a guy named Barack. In the same way Lamar Alexander wore a flannel shirt to appeal to lumberjacks in Tennessee, Barack Obama emphasized his ethnic background to appeal to people. There is nothing wrong with this, and it worked.

As for his wife, I absolutely do not blame Obama for comments his wife makes. However, Bill Clinton muzzled Hillary when she kept opening her mouth in 1992. One “baking cookies” remark was enough. Winning was more important than keeping the missus happy.

John Kerry would not shut his wife up. He lost. Michelle Obama is a loose cannon, and her comments about how she was not proud of America until Barack started winning was off putting.

The bottom line is while front runners occasionally stumble even after victory is well in hand (such as Jerry Brown defeating Bill Clinton in Connecticut 37-36%), for a front runner to lose by 20, 30, or 40 points is mind boggling. This only happens when the leader has not closed the deal.

Some will say that West Virginia does not matter, because Obama has already won the nomination. This is wrong because the general election is not that far away. West Virginia was owned by democrats for decades, until President George W. Bush won the state in 2000 and 2004. West Virginia has reelected liberal Robert Byrd to the Senate forever. Their other Senator Jay Rockefeller is also a liberal. Yet West Virginia also has coal miners and gun owners. They like democrats, but not liberal elitists. Only Al Gore and John Kerry could lose that state…and perhaps Barack Obama.

Barack Obama should have given one of his major inspiring speeches like he did in other states. Instead, he conceded the state.

I have argued for years that republicans must go into black neighborhoods. It is always better to talk to people, rather than ignore them.

Barack Obama must go into culturally conservative white neighborhoods for one reason, and one reason alone. White people in West Virginia are human beings. The President has to lead everybody.

Democrats have been trying to win the White House with an 18 state strategy that ignores the 32 states that make up “flyover country.” Obama seems determined to run that same strategy. Even if it allows the democrats to eke out a victory, it does not allow for effective governance.

Barack Obama is basically a good, decent, likable man that occasionally gets too smug for his own good. Many of us are guilty of that on occasion. However, if he truly wants to lead all America, and his speeches are not phony platitudes, he must speak to all Americans. If he wants to transcend race, he has to reach out to the very people that do not automatically gravitate towards him.

West Virginia is not “white trash.” It is a state consisting of people.

Obama had better figure this out before he gets trounced in Kentucky.


Giant conclusions about God

Monday, May 12th, 2008

A thrilling debate about God took place several days ago at a Southern California Synagogue.

Dennis Prager offered Judaism. Dinesh D’Souza offered Christianity. Christopher Hitchens offered Atheism.

All three of these men offered sheer brilliance.

The opening statements and rebuttals were discussed with eloquent points and sharp counterpoints.

For those thinking that bringing the closing statements at the beginning of a column is further proof of a rumpus backwards column, those were transcripted days ago. Those that have the transgression of not having read them already shall scroll to the appropriate genius on their own time.

With that, some giant conclusions about God are below.

Hitchens: With regards to Kim Il Sung, it is said that on the date of his birth, birds sing in Korean. I do not know any birds that sing in Korean. As for Kim Jong Il, President Bush and other leaders refer to him as “Mr. Chairman,” not “Mr. president.” This is because for the last 13 years, the true supreme leader of North Korea is the deceased father. His son is merely carrying out his father’s instructions. This is not secular. This is mysticism, the result of believing in a supernatural intervention.

When God orders killing, you kill all, and spare nobody. Secularists do not even think about this stuff, or about things such as suicide bombing. The Founding Fathers were secular. How do you get from Deism to Theism? Theists care about who you sleep with and what you eat. Outside of religion, how does the big bang lead to virgin births? The fastest growing religion in America today is no religion.  Secularism is winning.

Prager:  The discussion tonight was the case for God, not the case for religion. We can debate religion another night, but this is about the case for God. If God created humans, then God would care how they fare. If we care and God does not, then we are greater than God. We are not, so God gives humans a conscience. The first two men created were Cane and Abel. One of them kills the other, and only then does God destroy all since he wants goodness.

Then comes Noah, and Noah gets laws. This is the second attempt that fails when laws are broken. God again destroys all. God’s third attempt at a good world comes in the form of the Hebrews. They were chosen not because they were the greatest, but specifically because they were the smallest. If even as the least among us, they can be a moral light, then all people can spread good. God wants goodness. From Adam to Noah to Abraham, we have the current Jews. There is more than one road to God, according to Jews. Christians have done God’s will. Yet while there is one empirical truth, there is not only one way to God. Jews must defend Christians for shared values.

D’Souza: Suffering is just as difficult for Atheism. The amount of evil is on a scale that is staggering. The lion may want to eat the antelope, but he does not want to kill them all. Serial killers are called bestialbut beasts do not act that way. Humans are worse. Secularists cite Neitzsche, but even Neitzsche said that “To remove God, and to hang onto the morality from God, is not possible.”

Darwinians ignore Rwanda. There is no bond. They are not family. Religion offers a final accounting, that current evil deeds do lead to future punishment, a type of caste system. Even Torquemada worried about a final judgment, but Mao or Stalin did not. Religion equals a ladder from man to God. It is God who comes down, not humans who go up. God is a bridge to human salvation.

The moderator then asked a few questions.

Moderaotr: WHy doesn’t God just reveal himself and end the argument? Will he?

Prager: If God performed a miracle, it would impact people for three days. Then scientists would explain cloud formations. God revealed himself to the Jews, and then we built a golden calf after he split the sea. People are ungrateful from birth. Babies do not shut up so parents can have peace. There is nothing new to be revealed or to be said. God gives an instruction manual. If we follow the manual, good things will happen.

Hitchens: There is nothing against child abuse or genocide in the 10 Commandments. There was no condemnation of slavery. Yet, coveting, yes, that is mentioned. That is man made.

Prager: The Egyptians celebrated death. The Pyramids are tombs. Jews celebrated life in a world centered around death. This tradition of Jews celebrating life when surrounded by a culture of death continues to this day.

Hitchens: I could not accept a loving God. You cannot design your own God, who owes no explanation. That is idolatry. Saying that one “has nothing to lose by believing” is dishonest. God looks kinder on someone who is not bribed by reward or punishment. If there was a God, I would like to think he would be kinder towards me for doing good deeds not because I want to make him happy or out of fear of making hi mad, but without caring about his opinion at all. We are responsible for caring for each other because it is decent, not because of Heaven or Hell.

D’Souza: Demanding material proof for the immaterial building is not practical. Gravity is inferred. Atheists remain unconvinced. They have a refusal to believe even if they were given evidence.

Moderator: What is the Atheist’s source of dignity?

Hitchens: The Golden Rule of doing unto others as you would want them to do unto you is Atheistic, despite religions claiming credit for it. Values are innate in all of us.

Moderator: How can Jews be saved without believing in Jesus?

D’Souza: All salvation is through Christ, but divine justice is unknowable. Christian theology can extend beyond Christians, but God may disagree.

Moderator: Who was Jesus?

Prager: Jesus was a religious Jew who would be baffled by decisions made in his name. One example would be religions that ban divorce. Judaism wants people to live a fulfilling life.  A bad marriage is unfulfilling. Looking at Jesus is not the same thing as looking at Christians. What brings one to the God of Israel is good. Jesus came to non-Jews. He had no reason to come to Jews. Judaism teaches that God never took a human form. Moses Maimonides, the Rambam, said that “Christians have brought more people to Judaism than the Torah.” Christianity in its goodness is better than some bad isolated acts by Christians such as the Inquisition.

Moderator: Atheism may offer no consolation, but why should there be any suffering, such as what happened to Job?

D’Souza: The premise is not God’s compassion, but compassion and justice. It is not about only belief, but about law. Physical laws exist. Moral evil exists because we have free will. The alternative is that we are automatons. Hitler was responsible for the Holocaust, not God. Atheism offers no moral explanation for evil, and that we are all just molecules. Religion offers hope and consolation.

Moderator: Where does the the Atheist’s morality originate? Why do we obsess about justice and fairness when little of either exists?

Hitchens: As I previously said, the Golden Rule is my guide. No society has savagery as a good, where goodness is despised. That will not be found.

D’Souza: What is the Darwinian explanation for the Golden Rule? How does it relate to business and family? It is religion that teaches us to give up our seat on a bus to an old person. It is religion that teaches us to give blood, and to engage in military service.

Hitchens: Saying that natural selection exists is not an endorsement. Look at the dinosaurs,  sheep, and rats. God did not care. The British Health Service never runs out of blood.  Blood replenishes, so one person’s gain is not  another person’s loss. Giving blood is not a self interest or a sacrifice. It is a rational calculation. The pleasure of doing good is based on the gift relationship. If I need blood, again, rational self interest kicks in. Higher primates adhere to the Golden Rule, yet we as humans are too lazy to study it. Giving God that credit denigrates man.

My ears are still ringing from the thunderous applause of the audience.

As for the Tygrrrr Express, no analysis could be as superb as the event itself in its descriptive form.

I remain a proud Hebrew with a deep respect for Christianity. Yet I can also appreciate the argument of a brilliant Atheist, regardless of my not being swayed.

All men may be created equal, but what they do with their gifts is unequal.

Mr. Prager, Mr. D’Souza, and Mr. Hitchens are absolutely brilliant, and their discussion was one for the ages.