THE TYGRRRR EXPRESS

Although Hanukkah, aka the Festival of Lights, does not start until Sunday evening, at this point I am begging for light. Between a power failure that fried my power supply and several hours without internet access, I am starting to have homicidal visions towards the imaginary culrits messing with my computer.

The internet did not exist in my world until 1997, and yet it seems that virtually everything I do requires that it work. So at this point I am asking God and everybody else to respect the law as described by rock group Slade. Yes the guys who brought brilliant lyrics such as “See the chameleon, lying there in the sun, all things to everyone, run runaway” are in my thoughts as every electrical device in my existence simultaneously goes haywire. The title to that album is “Keep your hands off my power supply.”

Now for some linkage.

Edwin Leap has been nominated for a medical blog award. My blog just makes people ill. His helps them get better I suppose!

http://www.edwinleap.com/blog

Kishore Jets writes intelligently about politics and economics from a fairly non-partisan point of view.

http://kishorejets.typepad.com/us_election_2008_controve/2008/12/when-will-the-us-economy-recover.html

For politics with a humorous bent, check out http://www.scoopthis.org

John Kodak sent me some fun from the troops. Taking a riff from Jeff Foxworthy of course.

“You May Be A Taliban If . . .

Our troops in Afghanistan prove they’ve retained their sense of humor with the following ‘

1.   You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.
2.   You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can’t afford shoes.
3.   You have more wives than teeth.
4.   You wipe your butt with your bare left hand, but consider bacon ‘unclean.’
5.   You think vests come in two styles:  bullet-proof and suicide.
6.   You can’t think of anyone you HAVEN’T declared Jihad against.
7.   You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.
8.   You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.
9.   You’ve often uttered the phrase, ‘I love what you’ve done with your cave.’
10. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least one.
11. You bathe at least monthly whether necessary or not.
12. You have a crush on your neighbor’s goat.”

Tsofah offers us the Christmas-Hanukkah connection.

http://tsofah.blogspot.com/2008/12/christmas-hanukkah-challenge.html

My old boss is recommending the movie “Defiance.” Defiance is the story of the Bielski brothers, and it is a heck of a tale. Also, my boss’s best friend is Mr. Bielski’s son, so there is a personal connection. I have spoken to the younger Mr. Bielski on the phone many times, and it is an honor that his father’s story is being told. The Bielskis saved 1200 Jews from the Germans.

Gary Graham has a book out entitled, “Acting and other flying lessons.”

http://www.garygraham.com

Renee from “American Truckers at War” did a post about shopping security.

http://familysecuritymatters.org/publications/id.2000/pub_detail.asp

Another nice guy is Jeff at Silver Republican. Check out his site on Townhall.

Well all, the office holiday party is hours away, so hopefully the Cowboys and the Ravens do not go into overtime.

Sunday will be a rewarding day of religion, aka NFL Football, followed by my other religion, Judaism, in the ritual of lighting Hanukkah candles.

Another friend of mine starts her new job at the Make a Wish Foundation. All I know is those kids with cancer force me to put things in perspective, and I hate doing that. After all, it is not easy to tell a child with cancer that the world is unfair because my internet has not been working.

I still plan on complaining, just not in front of them.

Hanukkah approaches. Let there be light. Happy Saturday.

eric

O J Simpson will be doing hard time in a Nevada prison, for a term of between 9 and 33 years. As much as many people will be surprised to hear a law and order conservative republican say it, I believe O J Simpson got screwed.

For the sake of ethics, disclosure requires that I am obsessed with the National Football League. While O J  was before my time, his close friend Marcus Allen was my hero when I was 11 years old. Marcus Allen wore the Silver and Black. I want to make it clear that my love for the Oakland Raiders does not cloud my judgment on this issue.

In 1994, in the beginning, I was positive that O J was innocent. AFter all, he was not some dumb jock that was down on his luck after football. He was a successful business executive. He had it all.

Also, the idea that he would be obsessed with one woman when he was out sleeping with gorgeous women all the time did not add up. Paula Barbieri was stunning.

My thought process on this was affected by a 33 year old black man that I worked with. When asked if he thought O J did it, he said, “I don’t know.” Yet he told me, “Man, you could have every woman on the planet, and one woman can just blow your heart up. Many men will have that one woman that blows their heart up, and they go crazy.”

By the time the trial had ended, I was not completely positive he was innocent. However, I would have still acquitted based on the timelines. The prosecution had a 45 minute timeline from arriving home to committing the murders and leaving. The defense reduced the timeline to 5 minutes. Based on both presentations, I believed the defense’s timeline. One I believed the defense’s timeline, I felt that O J could not have done it because killing two people in five minutes seemed virtually impossible. Also, how does a guy do this without having a scratch on his body?

If the prosecution’s timeline was accurate, then they should have presented it better. So while that does not prove his innocence, I had enough doubt where acquittal was my decision.

Once O J was acquitted, I immediately moved on. I believed in the rule of law. Our system of justice is not perfect, but it is all we have.

Yes, I have found O J’s behavior unctuous. That horrible idea for a book he was going to write turned many people against him. However, it is quite possible that he was acting in a disgusting manner without being guilty.

I hear people say that if you believe he innocent, then you are an imbecile. Well I don’t know. I will never know. I was not there.

What I do know is that in 2008, O J got screwed.

He was sentenced to a lengthy prison term for a crime that was simply not proportional to the sentence.

What we know is that O J Simpson took a gun and brought friends of his to another man’s home to take possessions, by force if necessary.

Was the gun illegally obtained? Did he have a permit? If not, that is a crime that would involve a few months of jail time. If he legally owned the gun, then that is a non-issue.

O J did illegally enter a person’s home. Yes, that is a crime. Yet what did he do when he was there? Did he shoot anybody? Did he tie anybody up? No. He stole stuff. More importantly, that point is debatable because he was stealing back his own stuff.

I am not justifying his methods, but how many people, if they were robbed, would become frustrated when the legal system failed to get their possessions back?

Again, this is where O J went off track. He did not operate within the legal system. He took the law into his own hands. He acted like a vigilante. While vigilantism is the choice of many, actions have consequences. So yes, as flimsy as the case was, he did bring a gun to a home to steal stuff.

Now as a tough on crime law and order conservative, I would normally be fine with someebody who acted like O J did being forced to do hard time. However, that would only be fair if we did that with everybody that acts this way. O J’s crimes do not lead to legnthy prison sentences for most people. The law has to be followed consistently.

So why did O J get such a harsh sentence?

Because of 1994. People are calling this “poetic justice,” and “karma.” I am not interested in poetic justice. I want actual justice.

So for those who do not understand, it must be made crystal clear that O J Simpson was found not guilty of the 1994 murders. His 2008 robbery attempt was his first offense.

Therefore, despite being a celebrity, O J is a first time offender, not a recidivist criminal. People can scream until they are blue in the face that O J “did it,” in 1994, but that is not what the law said.

The 2008 case should not have had anything to do with 1994. There was no conviction.

I am not in any way saying that O J is a good person. What I am saying is that to convict a man in 2008 based on vengeance for 1994 is a breakdown in the system. Some say the system broke down in 1994, but that remains irrelevant.

If Orenthal James Simpson the Football Hero was Oliver John Thompson the Bus Driver, the publicity would be zero, and the 2008 case would have been based on the 2008 facts, and that alone.

The 2008 case was not about a brutal double murder in Los Angeles. It was about a botched robbery in Las Vegas, with the victims having some culpability. The victims in Los Angeles were completely innocent.

The reason why this matters is because justice cannot and should not ever be a popularity contest.

Some say that O J was acquitted in 1994 because he was likable. I freely admit that I wanted him to be innocent. In 2008, O J was simply much less likable, base don his own behavior and comments.

Yet this popularity often explains why gorgeous female schoolteachers in their twenties can engage in statutory rape with underage male students and receive much lighter sentences than an old male teacher would get for sexually assaulting a female student.

Martha Stewart went to jail because she was arrogant, and unlikable. Yet her “crime,” was simply not as serious as it was made out to be. She was not the CEO of the company she illegally traded. She was not the big fish. She was simply famous.

O J Simpson did break the law, and was convicted. A sentenc eof 18 months would be fair, and maybe as much as three years would be tough but not unreasonable.

Yet a prison sentence lasting a decade for a botched robbery is simply not consistent with how our penal system normally metes out  punishment. The sentences could be longer, but at this moment they are not.

This is not about O J. It is about believing that every defendant will be treated fairly. People complained that O J had a better defense than most people would ever get in 1994. That is not his fault. This time he was given a tougher sentence than would normally be handed down.

O J Simpson should not be punishe din 2008 for a deadly event in 1994 that the law said he did not do.

O J got screwed.

I hope and pray that O J was guilty in 1994, because if he truly was innocent, then he was railroaded twice.

eric

Yesterday was Fun Friday. Today is Serious Saturday.

I can count the number of times on my hands that I have outsourced my column. Yet events in the last couple of days have rendered this necessary.

Regarding the terrorist attack in Mumbai, I am watching in horror along with everybody else.

The story has a Jewish angle for me because a Chabad Rabbi and his wife were hostages. By some miracle their infant son escaped with the nanny. The baby is now an orphan. For further information on this Rabbi and his family, Chabad is following this story extra closely. I am mourning the loss of more innocent people to bloodthirsty lunatics.

http://www.chabad.org

I still maintain that that the solution is to kill the leaders of Iran and Syria, and let the world know that running those nations will be the mot thankless job in the world. Then the terrorists will need to go elsewhere to get their money. In coming days this attack will be given more attention.

The other element of Serious Saturday comes from Chuck Grist, an American Patriot and retired soldier.

His story of Thanksgiving is poignant and meaningful.

http://www.americanranger.blogspot.com

With his permission, I present to you one example of what truly matters. It is actually Chick telling the tale of another soldier, Aaron Self. Perhaps he should be known as Aaron selfless.

“As a follow-up to my earlier post on Thanksgiving, I wanted all of my readers to see the following email I received from Aaron Self (Cobra Two from my Iraq tour). He gave me permission to post it, but it is one of the most heart-felt messages I have received from a war zone. (Aaron is pictured above in a recent photo.)

I must tell you that Aaron is a proud Texan and dedicated American who is also one of the finest men I have ever known. He and his wife, Kristi (who is deployed to another war zone with the Army Reserve), exemplify everything I know about what makes American warriors do what they do for all of us.

Say a prayer for Aaron’s and Kristi’s safety and for the safety of “Higg”, Chad Higginbotham (Cobra Three of the C.O.B.R.A. Team), who is serving with the U.S. Army not far from Aaron.

* * * *

Aaron Self
Kabul, Afghanistan
November 27, 2008

“I woke up this morning thinking that I would feel even further from home than usual. In the past few days, I had casually asked some of the local Afghan staff if they knew anything about the American tradition of Thanksgiving. Each time, I would have to explain, as no one had heard of it. In a few instances, I did my best to explain that a turkey was a bird, and it had nothing to do with the country Turkey. The best I could do was ‘Big Chicken’ followed by a ‘gobble’ noise. I still don’t know if they nodded in recognition, or just to placate the crazy American.

I received a phone call from an old war buddy, affectionately known as ‘Higg’. Higg was on my four-man team in Iraq in 2004. It is a small world, as he is also deployed in the area. Higg called to invite me to his base for a Thanksgiving. He went on about ham and velvet cake and cobbler. I could smell the food as he talked about it, and I imagined my belt feeling tight after a traditional feast. Part of me knew to not get too excited, as plans change in the blink of an eye.

Countless times, I have had to cancel travel plans due to attacks and intelligence reports of threats specifically against western ex-patriots and soldiers. The plan was to head down to his location with my boss in tow. My boss was especially excited because this was the first opportunity for him to get his hair cut in two months. That kind of thing is hard on a military man, even after he hangs up the uniform.

To my surprise, our cook, Javid, had somehow secured 5 turkeys! He asked me how to make mashed potatoes, and I was amazed that I actually remembered how. Javid’s gesture was incredible, but I still did not let myself get too excited. What passes as American food here is not even close to the real thing. I once had a ‘hamburger’ made of SPAM, cucumbers, Tabasco and potato bread. The attempt of a local cook to cook a bird he had only just heard of….well, my taste buds were in a holding pattern.

Soon, the familiar smell of Thanksgiving filled the air. I went to the kitchen to find Javid smiling ear to ear. His friend was pushing boiled potatoes through a meat grinder, because there was no other way to mash them. A pot of green beans was on the stove top, and one of the turkeys was being pulled from the oven. Javid asked me to try the mashed potatoes, and I was excited to find that they tasted almost as good as Mom’s (sorry Mom, you have to factor in that there is a sentimental element that effects the taste buds).

I called Higg and confirmed that Doug and I were going to meet him at the base at 2:00 PM. I was reminded of every holiday since I was 18, eating with Mom, then after, repeating the ritual with Dad. I guess the tradition would be continued between two new families. As I was walking down the stairs, I heard the rumbling ‘boom’ of an explosion. I hear them frequently, so it was nothing out of the ordinary.

Within five minutes, Bahir, a trusted Afghan friend, told me that there had just been a suicide attack at the U.S. Embassy. I went to the roof (better cellular reception) and called an Australian friend who lives close to the Embassy. He answered, and immediately said, ‘This thing is still going on, I need to call you back.’

Lunch was served, and I was surprised how eagerly the locals devoured the food. Doug said a few words about the history and meaning of the day, and I followed by sharing what I was thankful for. I spoke of new friends, and freedom, and family that was safe at home (all but one). A young man, Ali, then stood up, and shared what he was thankful for; friends and a chance to be included in our holiday. The spirit of Thanksgiving took root, and without coaching or provocation, the locals took turns standing and sharing what made them grateful. It was just like I had done every Thanksgiving, and I felt a little closer to home.

I called my Aussie friend to see if there were any developments regarding the attack. I needed to know the conditions if I was going to venture into that area. The news was grim. A coalition convoy was hit and there was intel suggesting more would occur. What’s more, four soldiers were killed. I informed Doug and called Higg to break the news that I was not coming. I don’t think Mom would like me taking such a risk for a piece of velvet cake.

I was disappointed at the thought of missing out on my plans to catch up with an old friend. And then I thought of the four soldiers and four empty chairs in four different homes. I thought of the time difference in the States, and how four families would get the news right about the time the turkey hit the table.

This is not one of those sappy patriotic emails that your republican friend forwards to you. I just wanted to share my feelings with those that matter to me. I am thankful for so many things, and it took being so far away from friends and family to truly feel that way.

Mom and Ernie: I picture myself there in Dallas, coming over way too early and long talks in the kitchen, weighing my options on how much Mississippi mud to eat, versus how much room to leave in my stomach for Amy’s green bean casserole.

I see Amy, Courtney and Mom, trying not to giggle as I ask the traditional Thanksgiving/Christmas question, ‘Do you know the best thing about eating corn?’ For those that are not familiar, the answer is not appropriate for the table.

I picture Dad and I sneaking out to go shooting, or begging Mary Jo to stop messing around in the kitchen and let us share her company.

I have counted my blessings today, and I came up with a few that I can only enjoy at home on Thanksgiving. I am thankful for triptafan-induced comas and Dr. Pepper burps. I am thankful for the only day I can stand to watch sports on TV. I am thankful for Kristi squeezing my hand the second everyone says ‘Amen’. I am grateful for that third piece of cake that no one saw me eat, the sound of my giggling nieces and nephews as Elisabeth asks Uncle Aaron to come play, and the smell of turkey on my fingers.

I am also thankful for Matt, Julie, Myriam, Pancho and Lefty for making me and Kristi a part of their family. I am grateful for my friends at Evans (teachers and students, alike) for your letters and concern. I am grateful for the largest family ever, from Austin, Dallas, Stillwater, Houston, Apache and Washington. In my travels over the years, I have never felt forgotten or left out, and I have felt your prayers cover me like a warm blanket. I am grateful to be married to the most resilient and wonderful woman in the world. Kristi, this is not our first Thanksgiving spent in different countries. I know George Bush is not there this time to serve you turkey, so I hope you don’t feel let down.

I just want to tell my wife, family and friends ‘Happy Thanksgiving’, and I am thinking of all of you.”

Aaron

* * * *

Aaron, we are grateful for you, for Kristi, for Higg and for all of soldiers, sailors, airmen and Marines who are risking your lives for all of us. It is only because of your efforts that we can sit at home today in freedom and safety.

Be safe and know we are all here for you.

Charles M. Grist
www.TheCobraTeam.com
www.AmericanRanger.blogspot.com   ”

I wish everybody a peaceful rest of the year. I pray to God that in the struggle of civilization vs. barbarism, that decency and humanity defeat evil and allow civilization to win.

eric

Like many of you, I am stuffed with Turkey, and ready to be mounted on a wall. Today is my last day in the Carolinas. Tomorrow it is back to Los Angeles.

Rather than deal with the seriousness of life in a state of food coma, I felt I had two options.

Since getting into fistfights with soccer moms over the newest toy at the mall is not my favorite hobby, a lighthearted post Thanksgiving Fun Friday is in order.

I rarely allow guest columns, but these were priceless. The second story is from one of our fine soldiers. The first one speaks for itself, and comes from Richard Baehr at American Thinker.

http://www.americanthinker.com/

“Somali Pirates in Discussions to Acquire Citigroup 2008-11-25 14:23:00.260 GMT

November 25 (Bloomberg) — The Somali pirates, known for hijacking ships for ransom in the Gulf of Aden, are negotiating a purchase of Citigroup.

The pirates would buy Citigroup with new debt and their existing cash stockpiles, earned most recently from hijacking numerous ships, including most recently a $200 million Saudi Arabian oil tanker. The Somali pirates are offering up to $2 per share for Citigroup, pirate spokesman Sugule Ali said earlier today. The negotiations have entered the final stage, Ali said. “You may not like our price, but we are not in the business of paying for things. Be happy we are in the mood to offer the shareholders anything,’ said Ali.

The pirates will finance part of the purchase by selling new Pirate Ransom Backed Securities. The PRBS’s are backed by the cash flows from future ransom payments from hijackings in the Gulf of Aden. Moody’s and S&P have already issued their top investment grade ratings for the PRBS’s.

Head pirate, Ubu Kalid Shandu, said ‘we need a bank so that we have a place to keep all of our ransom money. Thankfully, the dislocations in the capital markets has allowed us to purchase Citigroup at an attractive valuation and to take advantage of TARP capital to grow the business even faster.’ Shandu added, ‘We don’t call ourselves pirates. We are coastguards and this will just allow us to guard our coasts better.'”

With that, I now offer a story from one of America’s best.

“Here is a US Marine who is not afraid to tell it like it is..Political Correctness doesn’t mean beans to this tough young warrior.”

“From a Recon Marine in Afghanistan”

“It’s freezing here. I’m sitting on hard, cold dirt
between rocks and shrubs at the base of the Hindu Kush
Mountains along the Dar ‘yoi Pomir River watching a hole
that leads to a tunnel that leads to a cave. Stake out, my
friend, and no pizza delivery for thousands of miles.

I also glance at the area around my ass every ten to
fifteen seconds to avoid another scorpion sting. I’ve
actually given up battling the chiggers and sand fleas, but
them scorpions give a jolt like a cattle prod. Hurts like a
bastard. The antidote tastes like transmission fluid but God
bless the Marine Corps for the five vials of it in my pack.

The one truth the Taliban cannot escape is that, believe it
or not, they are human beings, which means they have to eat
food and drink water. That requires couriers and that’s
where an old bounty hunter like me comes in handy. I track
the couriers, locate the tunnel entrances and storage
facilities, type the info into the handheld, shoot the
coordinates up to the satellite link that tells the air
commanders where to drop the hardware, we bash some heads
for a while, then I track and record the new movement.

It’s all about intelligence. We haven’t even
brought in the snipers yet. These scurrying rats have no
idea what they’re in for. We are but days away from
cutting off supply lines and allowing the eradication to
begin.

I dream of bin Laden waking up to find me standing over him
with my boot on his throat as I spit into his face and
plunge my nickel plated Bowie knife through his frontal
lobe. But you know me. I’m a romantic. I’ve said it
before and I’ll say it again: This country blows, man.
It’s not even a country. There are no roads, there’s
no infrastructure, there’s no government. This is an
inhospitable, rock pit sh*t hole ruled by eleventh century
warring tribes. There are no jobs here like we know jobs.

Afghanistan offers two ways for a man to support his
family: join the opium trade or join the army. That’s
it. Those are your options. Oh, I forgot, you can also live
in a refugee camp and eat plum-sweetened, crushed beetle
paste and squirt mud like a goose with stomach flu if
that’s your idea of a party. But the smell alone of
those ‘tent cities of the walking dead’ is enough to
hurl you into the poppy fields to cheerfully scrape bulbs
for eighteen hours a day.

I’ve been living with these Tajiks and Uzbeks and
Turkmen and even a couple of Pushtins for over a month and a
half now and this much I can say for sure: These guys, all
of ’em, are Huns Actual, living Huns. They LIVE to
fight. It’s what they do. It’s ALL they do. They
have no respect for anything, not for their families or for
each other or for themselves. They claw at one another as a
way of life. They play polo with dead calves and force their
five-year-old sons into human cockfights to defend the
family honor. Huns, roaming packs of savage, heartless
beasts who feed on each other’s barbarism Cavemen with
AK47’s. Then again, maybe I’m just cranky.

I’m freezing my ass off on this stupid hill because my
lap warmer is running out of juice and I can’t recharge
it until the sun comes up in a few hours

Oh yeah! You like to write letters, right? Do me a favor,
Bizarre. Write a letter to CNN and tell Wolf and Anderson
and that awful, sneering, pompous Aaron Brown to stop
calling the Taliban ‘smart.’ They are not smart. I
suggest CNN invest in a dictionary because the word they are
looking for is ‘cunning.’ The Taliban are cunning,
like jackals and hyenas and wolverines. They are sneaky and
ruthless and, when confronted, cowardly. They are hateful,
malevolent parasites who create nothing and destroy
everything else. Smart. Pfft. Yeah, they’re real smart.

They’ve spent t heir entire lives reading only one book
(and not a very good one, as books go) and consider hygiene
and indoor plumbing to be products of the devil. They’re
still figuring out how to work a Bic lighter Talking to a
Taliban warrior about improving his quality of life is like
trying to teach an ape how to hold a pen; eventually he just
gets frustrated and sticks you in the eye with it.

OK, enough. Snuffle will be up soon so I have to get back
to my hole. Covering my tracks in the snow takes a lot of
practice but I’m good at it. Please, I tell you and my
fellow Americans to turn off the TV sets and move on with
your lives.

The story line you are getting from CNN and other news
agencies is utter bullsh*t and designed not to deliver truth
but rather to keep you glued to the screen through the
commercials. We’ve got this one under control The worst
thing you guys can do right now is sit around analyzing what
we’re doing over here because you have no idea what
we’re doing and, really, you don’t want to know. We
are your military and we are doing what you sent us here to
do.

You wanna help? Buy Bonds America.

Saucy Jack

Recon Marine in Afghanistan
Semper Fi”

Well all, Fun Friday will be followed by Sleep Saturday, followed by of course NFL Sunday.

eric

In 2007, I wrote a Thanksgiving Day column detailing what I was…and was not…thankful for.

Thanksgiving 2008 has me situated in North Carolina. Last night my plane landed, and I met the Chicago Cannonball’s parents for the first time. Although this column was pre-written, pretend otherwise and assume I am still alive to blog.

Below are my 2007 Thanksgiving Day musings with 2008 updates.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Ok, enough sugary nonsense. I am thankful for some things, and less thankful for other things. Surely I can put aside partisan griping on this holiday. No, that is what Yom Kippur is for. Rather than give you something that flows, I feel you all deserve nothing less on this holiday than disjointed musings.

I am thankful for the fact that I have the best parents a guy could ask for. I am thankful that they bought as many groceries as necessary, and never complained that I nearly ate them out of house and home as a teenager. My nickname at the local deli was “The Great White Shark.” My parents fed me well.

I am not thankful for the fact that I have no discipline in a grocery store. My mom had 8 hands, and could put everything back on the shelf. I can’t. I only go grocery shopping 3 or 4 times a year, and how a guy can spend on $193 on groceries and then use his club card and only save $4 is a mystery to me.

2008 Update: No comment.

I am thankful for the fact that there is a writers strike in Hollywood. Liberals cannibalizing their own is quite enjoyable.

I am not thankful for the fact that before, during, and after the strike, television was and remains garbage. Bruce Springsteen wrote “57 channels and nothing on.” I have close to 1000 channels, and outside of the NFL Network, it is slim pickings.

2008 Update: There might be another writers strike very soon. Baseball players and Hollywood personnel make the world a better place when they strike. Television remains garbage and baseball remains boring. I am almost at the point of taking up reading again.

I was thankful that I could finally turn on the news and not have to read about Natalee Holloway.

I am not thankful that the circus started up again. Either find the girl, find some evidence, or leave me alone. Fox News has The O’Holloway Factor at 5pm, Holloway and Colmes at 6pm, and Greta Van Der Sloat at 7pm. I might be forced to watch CNN. I would rather leftist bias that I can filter out on news I care about than a friendly network wasting my time with moldy oldy stories.

2008 Update: Thank God for Sarah Palin. Whether you adore her as much as I do is not the issue. Greta Van Susteren was not only watchable for a few weeks, but actually quite good. Unfortunately, there was a new non-development in the Natalee Holloway case, and she is back to being Greta Van Substanceless, or Greta Van Der Sloot, or whatever derogatory name can be attributed to anybody still covering this story.

I am thankful that I belong to a rich religion in Judaism that has 6000 years of traditions.

I am not thankful for the fact that a bunch of crazy Arabs in the Middle East think they will get 72 virgins for blowing Jews up. Oh, and I wish we had the oil.

2008 Update: They still exist. Oh well.

As awful as the Raiders are, I am thankful it is football season.

I am not thankful for the fact that I still get bored between February and September, mainly because baseball is boring. I say give the NFL players a month off, and have a second season.

2008 Update: Siggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh (uncontrollable sobbing).

I am thankful for the fact that any woman would want to sleep with me, and that enough have…well not enough ever, but enough for this moment.

I am not thankful for the fact that no woman I have ever dated has developed laryngitis. Can a guy watch the game in peace?

I am thankful for republican Jewish brunettes.

I am not thankful for the fact that their republican upbringing often involves being taught about chastity, abstinence, and other issues that make religious people zealots. It is also tragic that the women that want to get buck wild are liberal outside of the bedroom as well, and again, refuse to come down with laryngitis.

I am thankful to live in Los Angeles, where the weather is gorgeous, and the jacuzzi water is perfect year round.

I am not thankful for the fact that Los Angeles is the plastic capital of the world, where women visit my jacuzzi year round only because my dad is a movie producer (actually he is a retired schoolteacher, but mercenaries beget mercenaries).

2008 Update: The Chicago Cannonball and I are doing well. Her parents seem to like me (Again, this column was pre-written from my home in Los Angeles. It is now on the internet and therefore true). The Chicago Cannonball is a Jewish brunette, and 2 out of 3 aint bad.

I am thankful for the fact that I live in America, the greatest nation on Earth.

I am not thankful for the fact that half the population loves America not for what it is, but for what they want it to be. Their prescriptions may have us fleeing to Mexico for a better quality of life in a generation.

2008 Update: Mexicans do not bother me. I am aware that some come here illegally. I am not in favor of law breaking, but as long as illegal aliens don’t vote, they do less to harm America than American liberals. They are also less dangerous to our National Security. They are always hiding, so at least they don’t hold press conferences to complain about everything.

I am thankful for the fact that a guy with screws loose who has unhealthy fascinations with Bea Arthur and Monique from Showtime at the Apollo can become a successful blogger.

I am not thankful for the fact that this country has sunk so low on the lowest common denominator scale that people would spend one minute of their life reading about some blogger that has unhealthy fascinations with Bea Arthur and Monique from Showtime at the Apollo.

2008 Update: Don King is right…Only in America.

I am thankful that in America, anybody can become President, regardless of race, gender, or ethnicity.

I am not thankful for the fact that so many guilty white liberals will vote for empty suits whose only noticeable quality is their race, gender or ethnicity.

2008 Update: The people have spoken, and perhaps now every minority that plays the grievance card will be forced to shut up. A world without Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton…Happy Thanksgiving indeed.

I am thankful that I understand the beauty behind Thanksgiving, and how it represents the spirit of harmony and the resilience of the American spirit.

I am not thankful that I live in a nation where public schools are declining so rapidly that in 20 years they might not know what this holiday is about.

2008 Update: Love your children. Send them to private schools or home school them. Do not terrorize them by sending them to public schools.

I am thankful for the fact that I am free to practice my religion, even though I am not Christian.

I am not thankful for the fact that Christmas starts 2 months in advance, and that the day after Thanksgiving, mothers who preach about peace and love will be trying to kill each other with shopping carts to get the last Elmo, Furby, Garbage Patch Kid, or whatever toy the toy stores tell these sheep to buy.

2008 Update: Give these MILFs some bikinis and a jello wrestling ring and watch the fun.

I am thankful that Ebay and Craigslist allow me to avoid the malls altogether.

I am not thankful for the fact that hot women in their 20s have to go to the mall, rather than just try on their miniskirts in front of my home mirror, with a rose in their teeth, and my teeth through their miniskirts.

2008 Update: Trolling for barely legal mall @ss is so 2007.

I am thankful that America has the military force to blow up nations like Iran and Syria that could use a good @sskicking.

I am not thankful for the fact that bombing these nations into the stone age will not improve them because they are already there.

2008 Update: Pebble Beach is in talks with the PGA Tour to hold the 2010 Damascus open as soon as the 50,000 hole golf course is built.

I am thankful that circumstances have led to a holiday that is marked by sleeping in late, watching football, eating meat, getting stuffed, and then going back to sleep. Heck, we even have a food that is named after the concept of getting stuffed, aka stuffing.

2008 Update: I will not be watching football. While I am not thrilled about this, the Detroit Lions are 0-11 and getting worse. They play the Titans who are 10-0. It does not make for a competitive match. My flight back to Los Angeles is on Saturday, allowing Sunday to remain sacred.

I would like to thank God, my family, my friends, and my readers, for indulging me. I have a platform, and I am grateful that I am still liked even though I have never once used this platform responsibly or in a way that would improve society.

2008 Update: Insert semi-heartfelt platitudinous warm and fuzzy sentiment here.

Happy Politically Incorrect Overindulgent Eating Meat and Watching Football Day!

2008 Update: To make up for the lack of football, I might have to eat twice as much.

As for the Chicago Cannonballl’s parents, they are not into football, and don’t share my politics. I have no idea if I will have a single thing in common with them.

Then again, I do not have a single thing in common with my own parents, and I get along with them more than 50% of the time.

From the Carolinas, a Happy Thanksgiving to all.

eric

The Tygrrrr Express is Eastbound and Down, more specifically, Carolina Bound.

The Chicago Cannonball and I are traveling to Carolina for Thanksgiving with her family. We have been together for 8 months, and I am finally doing the “meet the parents thing.”

The trip almost did not come together. I could not figure out why the flight cost $2,500. Then I realized I entered CTL instead of CLT into the website and got Charleville, Australia, instead of Charlotte, North Carolina. Charlotte actually has the best sliding escalators at the airport. They are so long that I can sleep on them for a few minutes. If they would just turn the lights off it would be like the planetarium.

Then again, Charlotte is not the city they live in, so perhaps that will have to wait.

As for the visit itself, I am well prepared, and have been memorizing some scripture.

“Yay though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil for thou art with me.”

Ok, perhaps I am overstating the case.

I am sure they are good people. I mean they sure produced a daughter that is a kind human being.

Yet if I have anything in common with them, I hope to find out soon enough.

They are politically liberal. I am just going to keep my mouth shut. It is their home, and I will be respectful.

The Spencer Tracy and Katherine Hepburn movie “Guess who is coming to dinner?” is in my head for some reason, which is funny given that I have it on tape but have never seen it.

They are not into football, so watching football is not going to be part of this Thanksgiving. Thankfully, the Detroit Lions are not must see television. I will be Tivoing the games and watching them on Saturday when I get home. After all, I will not be near anything that will spoil it, so hobby delayed is not hobby denied.

Perhaps having nothing in common with them is not a disaster. I have practically nothing in common with my own parents. Besides, her parents live 3000 miles away, which is where parents are supposed to live.

The Chicago Cannonball has a warm relationship with her parents. To me that sounds abnormal and dysfunctional, but I will not judge her harshly for this.

Some people think it is nice to live right near their parents. Perhaps they should watch the television show “Everybody Loves Raymond” for a reality check.

I think my main concern is that I do not know what to expect. I mean I do not expect it to be like Ben Stiller in “Meet the Parents.” I doubt they will prod and probe me like a lab rat.

I also know that I will not be blogging about the experience. These people deserve their privacy.

Also, as beautiful as the nature is in the Carolinas, and even though I will see beautiful trees of green and skies of blue, singing Louie Armstrong at the dinner table might be an idea better left unexpressed.

I guess the only thing I want them to see is that I genuinely care about their daughter.

Besides, this experience will be nothing compared to what awaits us in South Florida some time between December and March.

We have to introduce her to my parents.

To quote Lloyd Bridges in the movie “Airplane,” he was right when he said that he “picked a bad week to quit drinking, smoking, and sniffing glue.”

In a way the visit to my parents will be the same. Both adults will love her, and will hopefully be happy to see me. Ok, so it is not that bad, but uncertainty is not my favorite feeling.

At least I will not have 6 hours on a plane to think about all of this. I sleep very well on planes, and will probably fall asleep 15 minutes into the flight like always. So at least their will be some relaxation.

My stopover is in Minnesota, so perhaps I can arrive at that airport and punch a picture of Al Franken, or at least find a Norm Coleman campaign worker and give them a hug. Then again, they might ask me for money, so perhaps the hugging can wait.

One thing I am definitely looking forward to is a family style Thanksgiving dinner. My family never really celebrated Holidays. We observed the Jewish ones, but Thanksgiving was just another day. I would watch football in my room, and at some point I would eat a Swanson Hungry Man Dinner. When I am a husband and father, I want a Thanksgiving dinner as depicted on “The Cosby Show.”

Thank the almighty that her family eats meat. To quote Ray Romano when observing a “Tofurkey,” he said that he “would rather eat the box that it came in.”

For those thinking that I am dreading this experience, the only thing I dread in life is April 15th. I just want to get there already.

Anyway, life is what we make of it, and I am sure that the parents of the love of my life are good people.

Either way, I had better get back to listening to my stress relaxation tape on the plane.

“Yay though I walk through the valley of the shadow…”

Or I could read the newspaper I brought on the plane. The front page has an article about Al Gore.

Yep, that did the trick. Better than knockout drops.

The Tygrrrr Express is now Carolina Bound and blissfully incoherent.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

eric

On Wednesday night, October 8th, 2008, the holiest day of the Jewish calendar arrived. Thursday, October 9th is Yom Kippur.

During the day on Wednesday, I will perform the ritual of Tashlich. I will find a body of water, and toss bread into the water, which will be snatched up by cute lil duckies and fishies. As I toss the bread, I apologize for various sins. It is about casting my sins away, and then I start over sin free. I will need several loaves of bread.

Then starting at sundown I will be fasting for 24 hours. Let’s just say I will be sleeping in on Thursday the 9th. Then as soon as the sun goes down on Thursday night, I will gorge, and spend Friday recovering. I might write a column on Saturday night if I am not too drained. Either way, one day of fasting a year is not a lot to ask. Ramadan is 30 days.

Yom Kippur is the day of atonement. I have made many mistakes, sinned many times, and have a list of transgressions I am not proud of. There is a time to be cavalier, such as my fake apology list.

https://tygrrrrexpress.com/2007/06/i-apologize-forwhat-am-i-supposed-to-be-sorry-for-again/

However, I mean it sincerely when I say that I do not wish God to shove a flamethrower up my rumpus. I really want to do better.

To quote John Cougar Mellencamp, in the song, “Check it out,” from the Lonesome Jubilee album, “Time to settle with my neighbor. Time to question my own behavior.”

I was going to post a list of all the things I did wrong, and how I plan to make amends, but I have decided to keep that between myself and God. It is not that I fear admitting my flaws. I am quite open about where I am deficient as a human being. It is just that even a loudmouth politico likes me needs some sincere private time with God.

I have said many things about people, and done things I wish I had not done. So for Yom Kippur, I am going to make several requests of my fellow Jews, and anybody else that wishes to atone for something.

To liberal Jews who preach tolerance and acceptance…I wish you would apologize for all the remarks you made about George W. Bush and Dick Cheney. Disagree with them all you want, but hatred is poison, and no matter how much you may hate the Iraq War, speaking ill of these men is simply wrong. I disagree with the Clintons, but refuse to bash them personally.  I did at one point. I apologized for this, and have made my peace. If one person who has maintained hatred for the Dub and the Veep gives up this hatred, the world is a better place.

To an ex-girlfriend of mine from 13 years ago…your husband is one of my closest friends, and your continued hostility towards me, which he acknowledges is undeserved, hurts him. You will be asking God for forgiveness, but you have never accepted my overtures of peace. I offered peace 13 years ago, and wonder why the USA and Russia can shake hands but you and I cannot get along. Your husband is so hurt by our not getting along, and he knows that it is one directional hostility. I again offer you a hand of peace.

To the Chicago Cannonball…you are the love of my life.  I pray that I do not disappoint you. I thank God we met. I will do my best to not make mistakes, but just know my heart is in the right place, even when my brain is not. I love you very much.

To the readers of my blog, I try to maintain a position as a moderator. I hope I contribute positively to the blogosphere, and for those who want more, I am willing to listen. This does not mean agree, but I will listen.

As for certain relatives, just please respect my wishes.

As for various Rabbis, while you have welcomed me into your homes and your hearts, some of you have political views that just do not mesh with me. I want you to accept me regardless of my views, but not despite them, because my views make me who I am. I am not the “republican Jew.” I am a Jew who happens to be a republican.

I want to go to temple without hearing about Darfur, animal rights, global warming, and other aspects of Social Justice. I am tired of being told that being politically liberal is required for being a good human being and a good Jew. I would not mind if just one Rabbi talked about the value of human life, and how our soldiers are struggling for freedom so that all religions may worship in peace.

I wish the Jewish members of Moveon, Kos, and the Huffington Post would apologize to General Petraeus. It is one thing to disagree with a man. It is another to denigrate that man. We have to respect those that disagree with us, or we lose our souls.

I pray for the good health of my parents and mourn my grandparents, the last of whom died 6 months ago. I wish that those who are in a position to visit loved ones would simply do so. At the very least, pick up a telephone as much as possible. It is too late when people are gone to wish we had told them we loved them.

Again, it may seem strange to use a holiday about self improvement to demand more of others, but I drive myself harder than any of you can imagine. Every year I debate whether my vow should be to be more patient or less patient.

I am not a patient person, but I do not want to lower my standards either.

What I want is to be perfect, and that will never happen. However, that is no excuse to throw in the towel on trying to improve at all.

To quote the 1960s group The Animals (redone in 2003 by Santa Esmeralda), “I’m just a soul whose intentions are good…oh lord, please don’t let me be misunderstood.”

For the Jewish people of the world, a peaceful Yom Kippur to you all. For non-Jews everywhere that have goodness in your hearts, and zero malice towards another, I wish you happiness always.

eric

The pressure of politics is in the Friday rear view mirror. It will poke its head out again on Monday, but not until football plays its proper role on Sunday.

Today is a Saturday of recognizing some heroes and acknowledging some friends. Two days ago I was in New York, and yesterday was Atlanta. Today begins a peaceful weekend in South Florida. Recharging the batteries does not prevent me from spreading some love across the blogosphere.

I shall begin by giving props to our military heroes. As vital as they are, I also support those that do more for them than I ever have.

The people at Soldiers Angels are angels themselves.

www.soldiersangels.com

For those wondering how to communicate with soldiers it is easy.

www.emailourmilitary.com

The most respected military blog in the country is Blackfive. i had the pleasure of meeting Matthew Burden, who runs it.

www.blackfive.net

For those who want to send care packages to the troops, there is Operation Gratitude.

www.operationgratitude.com

For those who truly care about our veterans, Vets For Freedom has some fabulous soldiers leading the way. Pete Hegseth, Jeremy Christiansen, Nathan Martin, and Jason Meszaros are some fine soldiers. It is an honor to have interacted with them.

www.vetsforfreedom.org

Tim Maxwell, an injured soldier, writes about injured soldiers. they have pride, dignity, and belief.

www.sempermax.com

A Leiutenant in the United States Navy informed me of his wonderful website, “Appeal for Courage.”

http://www.appealforcourage.org/

In addition to military heroes, the blogosphere consists of many people that have products that i may be adding to my blog in terms of style. I will not add every one of them, but they are all worth looking at.

www.precisenews.us

www.hotrantsmedia.com

www.outbrain.com

www.intensedebate.com

www.regator.com

www.goosegrade.com

One site that tries to take the fight against anti-Semitism to college campuses is Stand With Us.

www.standwithus.com

The quality improvements to my blog are solely the credit of a team led by a guy named Eliot. He is the fella behind Hotweazel.

www.hotweazel.com

Another fellow that has been enormously helpful, and is a good guy to boot, is Chad of the Grizzly Groundswell.

www.grizzlygroundswell.com

Evan Sayet has another comedy show coming up.

www.evansayet.com

His new site is Regular Folks United.

www.regularfolksunited.com

My friend Dr. Bill Smith is the place to go for information about Arkansas Politics.

www.arkansasgopwing.blogspot.com

My friend Michael runs a great website called Urban Conservative.

www.urbanconservative.com

My friend Laura has a new album out. She is a talented jazz singer.

www.laurawolfe.net

Lastly, I will be debating at USC Chabad on October 16th and UCLA on October 24th.

No, I did not forget that O.J. Simpson was found guilty at 11pm PST last night. Now Greta Van Susteren will never leave my television screen ever again. I will let Ms. Van Substanceless cover this story. I have better things to do. besides, today was a tough day for former running backs in general. Lawrence Phillips also was sentenced to a decade in prison.

I only get to see my parents a few days a year, so the rest of the day will be about them.

Happy Saturday everybody.

eric

Today was supposed to be a day about so many things, but right now sadness has entered the realm of the Tygrrrr Express.

Jerry Reed has passed away.

Yes, the Tygrrrr Express is about politics and football, but the very name of my blog comes from the Song “Bandit Express,” featured in “Smokey and the Bandit 3.”

From “Eastbound and Down,” to “Texas Bound and Flying,” Jerry Reed was the perfect bootlegging quarry for Burt Reynolds, aka “The Bandit.”

Other great songs by Jerry Reed include:

The Uptown Poker Club

Lord Mr. Ford

The Preacher and the Bear

I love you (What can I say?)

Alabama Jubilee (Hail the gang’s all here)

Guitar Man

Yet the Smokey and the Bandit movies will be his legacy.

Another great song from those movies includes:

The Legend

The Tygrrrr Express is grieving.

From the Adam Sandler movie, “The Waterboy,” to his many songs, he truly was “The Legend.”

Burt Reynolds is still with us, and I hope he lights a candle for his buddy.

Fred the Bassett Hound has his ears even droopier than usual tonight.

One guitar man has just entered Heaven, Eastbound and Down.

Farewell Snowman.

eric

Before getting to various political issues in a slipshod manner, I have some final thoughts on Israel.

Although it is a beautiful country with lovely people and an amazing history, I did not feel the emotional charge that I felt when I visited Canton, Ohio, in 2006. Canton Ohio is the home of the Pro Football Hall of Fame.

I know it sounds crazy, but the National Football League is my burning passion. I love football. I am proud to be Jewish, but I am not Israeli. Visiting Israel was similar to visiting Singapore in 2003. It was a pretty country with much beauty. Yet it is not my home. I am American.

So while visiting Israel did not reduce me to tears or cause me to kiss the ground like  I did in Canton,  it was still the trip of a lifetime.  I am better off for having gone.

I was not able to really deal with hard core politics during my trip. Now that I can, I shall now present Mish Mosh Thursday.

The Chairman of the Arkansas Democratic Party was shot to death. There is no evidence that politics had anything to do with this senseless tragedy.

What should be taken from this event is that a man died way too young, and that a family no longer has a husband and father. I offer them my deepest condolences. However, I have no patience for those on the left that blamed “hateful talk radio” in general, and Sean Hannity in particular, for this terrible murder.

This is another example of the left wanting to curtail freedom of speech for those on the right. It is not acceptable, and I will fight any attempt to inject partisan politics into what appears to be a random killing. If for any reason the killer turns out to be a republican, and even if that killer did listen to talk radio, the responsibility would be that of the killer and the killer alone.

If this is not immediately accepted by the left, then the Clintons should be blamed for every suicide during their administration of small business owners brought on by the despair of higher taxes and crippling regulations.

It is about personal responsibility people.

In other news, John Edwards is a hypocrite and a liar. My heart goes out to Elizabeth Edwards. She married a sleazebag.

I personally do not think that the infidelity itself should disqualify the man from being President. Waht should disqualify him is a recklessness of character. Had he won the nomination, and then the affair would have exploded, he could have damaged the entire democratic party. As a republican, I have no problem with this. As a human being, as I said, his behavior was reckless. I suspect that Elizabeth Edwards wanted him to be President more than he did, and that she was driving the train. This in some ways makes her as calculating as Hillary Clinton. However, I lack the evidence to say this for a certainty. Elizabeth Edwards is going through a personal hell I wish on nobody. Also, they lost a teenage son to a tragic car accident, the nightmare of every parent. This should allow us to empathize for them as human beings, but not to accept that John Edwards is anything but a snake oil salesman with little to zero ethics.

Hillary Clinton is trying to sabotage Barack Obama. Let me rephrase that. She already has. Bill and Hillary Clinton are narcissistic, self indulgent, spoiled brats. They have no grace or class. Obama won the nomination fair and square. Yet he has proven to be weak in giving Hillary everything she wanted.

I am not saying Hillary is a terrorist by any stretch, but one does not negotiate or bargain away advantages when they have all the leverage. Obama should have called Hillary’s bluff, and given her nothing. Her supporters would not have the guts to vote for John McCain because all they care about is abortion. They would fall into line. Obama is not fit to stand up to world leaders if he does not have the guts to stand up to Hillary Clinton. This is very similar to 1988, when Michael Dukakis had to kiss Jesse Jackson’s racist rumpus. Hillary is destroying the democratic party, which would be meaningful if she actually cared about that at all. She does not. Her people are probably still digging dirt on Obama, hoping to catch him in a situation mimicking Bill Clinton or John Edwards.

Hillary was the one who kept mentioning the 3AM phone call. Barack Obama and John McCain received theirs in the form of the conflict between Russia and Georgia. McCain was decisive and bold. Obama was equivocating and tentative. This is because John McCain is ready to be President, and Obama is ready to lead a global rendition of “Hands Across America.”

Democrats are capable of occasionally accomplishing things during peacetime. During war, they need to be given their pacificiers and told to wait until the adults handle the problems. The Russian situation is serious, and platitudes won’t cut it. Hillary Clinton may have falsely claimed it, but it is John McCain that is truly ready to lead on day one.

Having said that, I completely disagree with the degree of McCain’s Russia bashing. He needs to tone it down. Insulting Putin is not the answer. I admire McCain’s toughness, but too much can turn into bellicosity. Force and hard power are needed with places such as Iran and Syria. Diplomacy, while normally a waste of time, must be utilized with Russia. We cannot have the Cold War again. Russia and America and China need to unite to defeat Radical Islam.

Speaking of China, some of their athletes have been accused of cheating at the Olympics. It’s the Olympics, and therefore I don’t care. The spirit of the Olympics has been tarnished for a long time, whether it be the Russian Fencing team or the USA Basketball team using professionals instead of amateur athletes. True, the USA was open and honest about it, but the bottom line is professionals should not compete in these games. That is why they are the Olympic Games and not Olympic Sports. These are not sports. They are games, and often rigged games at that.

As for human rights issues, I hope China cracks down on any protesters that makes the Tianamen Square seem like child’s play. Politics should not be in the Olympics, and agitators should get their hides kicked. If anybody thinks America is different, look at what the democrats are doing to homeless people and protesters in Denver. They are being given movie tickets, and those whor efused will be “removed from the streets.” There will not be in any tanks, but these are the “compassionate” people showing compassion. Also, the liberal delegates are grumbling at a lack of limousines, when they could walk or bicycle to the events. They are true greeniacs, these environmentalists. Then again, running over homeless people is easier in a limousine. Perhaps Ted Kennedy can be in charge of this. 

Ok, Mish Mosh Thursday has had its say.

The Michele Bachmann interview has been completed, and will be published soon.

I am still tired from my trip to Israel. When that changes, I may become coherent.

No, not really.

eric