Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Oklahoma State–Thank You Coach Gundy

Wednesday, September 26th, 2007

A member of the media took cheap shots at a college athlete. Like a father protecting a son that he may scold in private, Oklahoma State Football Coach Mike Gundy fiercely defended his recently benched quarterback Bobby Reid.

Oklahoma sports reporter Jenni Carlson may think twice before she writes her column. This is not a chilling day for free speech. It is a victory for responsible journalism. The media is despised because it gets the stories wrong, hits below the belt, engages in character assassination, does not verify its sources, and refuses to issue mea culpas in a manner that leads to being respected.

Ms. Carlson’s bile is attached below.

http://newsok.com/article/3131543

It may seem harmless, but why attack a young man because his mother is feeding him chicken in the parking lot? Does this make him a momma’s boy, and therefore less of a man? Pro Bowl Eagles Quarterback Donovan McNabb appears in Chunky Soup commercials with his mom feeding him soup. Should we berate him?

Coach Gundy benched his quarterback. The only issue about this story should be whether Bobby Reid needs to be play better. Questioning a young man’s heart after it has just been broken is simply beyond decency.

I will let Coach Gundy’s press conference speak for itself. He was looking right at Jenni Carlson when speaking.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=AUnY8oZBVR0&mode=related&search=

Finally somebody has said enough is enough. There are young men, many of them athletes, committing robberies, rapes, drug crimes, and murders. Why castigate a guy for loving his mother? Shall we ban crying after winning championships?

Before going further, a fascinating political angle on this story can be found at http://briantdavis.townhall.com/g/e42dc567-0689-45be-a6b7-5d16bb046086

As for me, I have never been to Oklahoma. I have never watched an Oklahoma State game. I had never heard of any of the people in this story until yesterday. However, if I were a player in Coach Gundy’s locker room, I would go through a brick wall for him.

This was not an attempt to distract from other issues. The Cowboys won the game 49-45, and the backup quarterback that was promoted seemed to justify making the switch. So why bother canceling a victory celebration of a press conference and get angry because a player that the coach himself benched got attacked in the press?

Because the player is a human being, and football is a team sport. Every member of the team counts. Many players that knew that their football career was ending were sent into the game for one final series, even one final play. Some players sign one day contracts…that’s right, one day…so they can retire with the team they love. Some players use that one day to put on the uniform, go on the field, salute the crowd one final time, and walk off with dignity.

Dignity. That is what this is about. Yes, winning and losing matters, but for once a coach put human decency over the final score. The player that was deemed not good enough to play in a game the team won mattered just as much as the players on the field.

Dignity means treating waiters and waitresses, shoe shine people, and building maintenance people like they matter…because they do matter. A million dollar salesperson might not close a sale if the potential customer sees his shoes are scuffed. The shoe shine person receives $4, but provides a service that helps the salesperson earn those millions.

Coach Gundy closed ranks. People do that. Families do this. I can say my cousin is an imbecile, but you will not mock them. Religions do it. Jews, Christians and Muslims argue fiercely within themselves, but tread lightly when criticizing other religions. Politicians have vicious primaries, but back the nominees to the hilt in the general election. Nations do it. Many Americans mock their leaders, but would not accept that mocking from Europe or anywhere else.

I have had employers take me in their office and ask me how I could have been so (insert bad word here). Yet when somebody else would try to pile on, that same boss would defend me to the hilt and let the criticizer know what a (worse word here) they were.

Dignity matters. So does loyalty. Coach Gundy gave it, and will get it back in spades.

Bobby Reid failed. He did not do his job well enough, and he was demoted. However, failing does not make one a failure. Bobby Reid is not a failure. Failing makes people human. Coach Gundy has a responsibility to help mold this man. Coaches, teaches and fathers matter. The boss was not happy, and he took steps that hurt. Yet Bobby Reid knows how the coach feels about him.

Some say this is not a life and death matter, but people commit suicide. They feel despair, feel like failures, and give up on life. I am not saying Bobby Reid was at that stage, but Jenni Clark kicked a man who was down. Mike Gundy lifted him back up. Saving a life does not mean stopping someone from jumping off a bridge. That is extreme. Saving a life can be as simple as finding somebody who let you and themselves down, and patting them on the shoulder. Sometimes my favorite word in the English language comes when somebody I have great respect for says, “atta boy!” Atta boys matter.

I have no idea what Oklahoma State’s record is on the football field is. What I do know is that Bobby Reid being benched does not make him a loser. Mike Gundy pointing that out makes him a winner.

Thank you Coach Gundy. If I am ever in Oklahoma, I might be talented enough to be the team’s waterboy for a day. It would be an honor.

eric

Yom Kippur Epilogue–Avenu Malkaynu

Saturday, September 22nd, 2007

Another Yom Kippur is in the books. I did fast for 24 hours, not even drinking water.

Because I have been battling a cold, I had to play fast and loose with the rules this year, even though I have fasted every year since I turned 13. Instead of fasting from sundown to sundown, which is about 7:30pm to 7:30pm, I started and finished earlier. I fasted from 4pm to 4pm. While this is still 24 hours, it is easier, especially if one is knocked out from cold medicine and sleeping until 2:30pm. By the time I woke up and showered, it was almost time to eat.

Given that I am typing in a Dimetapp induced haze, I will be mailing it in today, but hopefully still providing something of value. The following link contains a Jewish prayer known as “Avenu Malkaynu,” which translates into, “Our Father, Our King.”

Although some of the passages are distinctly Jewish, much of it applies to all people.  Avenu Malkaynu is said every Yom Kippur. It is a prayer for forgiveness.

http://www.shema.com/pdf/PrayersAvinuMalkaynu-1.pdf

What I will leave everybody with is that it is easy to say words. It is much more difficult to match those words with deeds. As I have said more than once, I am not a patient person. Tonight, before I go to sleep, I will face my first test of the Jewish New Year.

I have several televisions in my living room, with each one showing a different NFL game on Sundays. I have the DirecTV NFL package. Two of the televisions have High Definition, but not Tivo. However, the big screen has Tivo, but not High Definition. Since I Tivo stuff, I prefer watching it on the big screen. However, now that football season ha started, it would make sense to have the High Def tv showing football.

So why not just switch the wires? Because I am technologically incompetent. I am a reasonably bright guy with an advanced degree. I will screw this task up. All of my tvs will be messed up, and I will be cursing and spitting blood. Or will I?

My vow tonight is to be patient, look at the wires, reason it out, and successfully switch everything in time for NFL Sunday. I will not take the lord’s name in vain, and I will be patient. I have 3 hours before I go to sleep. I am an adult, and I will handle this in an adult matter.

I will say a four word prayer that I normally say when I wake up in the morning.

We…can…do…this.

Avenu Malkaynu, give me the strength to not only accomplish this task, but to do so with dignity, in a manner of a man worthy enough to be in your presence. Amen.

eric

Yom Kippur 2007

Friday, September 21st, 2007

On Friday night, September 21st, 2007, the holiest day of the Jewish calendar arrives. It is Yom Kippur.

During the day on Friday, I will perform the ritual of Tashlich. I will find a body of water, and toss bread into the water, which will be snatched up by cute lil duckies and fishies. As I toss the bread, I apologize for various sins. It is about casting my sins away, and then I start over sin free. I will need several loaves of bread.

Then starting at sundown I will be fasting for 24 hours. Let’s just say I will be sleeping in on Saturday the 22nd.  Then as soon as the sun goes down on Saturday night, I will gorge, and spend Sunday recovering. I might write a column on Saturday night if I am not too drained. Either way, one day of fasting a year is not a lot to ask. Ramadan is 30 days.

Yom Kippur is the day of atonement. I have made many mistakes, sinned many times, and have a list of transgressions I am not proud of. There is a time to be cavalier, such as my fake apology list.

https://tygrrrrexpress.com/2007/06/i-apologize-forwhat-am-i-supposed-to-be-sorry-for-again/

However, I mean it sincerely when I say that I do not wish God to shove a flamethrower up my rumpus. I really want to do better.

To quote John Cougar Mellencamp, in the song, “Check it out,” from the Lonesome Jubilee album, “Time to settle with my neighbor. Time to question my own behavior.”

I was going to post a list of all the things I did wrong, and how I plan to make amends, but I have decided to keep that between myself and God. It is not that I fear admitting my flaws. I am quite open about where I am deficient as a human being. It is just that even a loudmouth politico likes me needs some sincere private time with God.

I have said many things about people, and done things I wish I had not done. So for Yom Kippur, I am going to make several requests of my fellow Jews, and anybody else that wishes to atone for something.

To liberal Jews who preach tolerance and acceptance…I wish you would apologize for all the remarks you made about George W. Bush and Dick Cheney. Disagree with them all you want, but hatred is poison, and no matter how much you may hate the Iraq War, speaking ill of these men is simply wrong. I disagree with the Clintons, but refuse to bash them personally.  I did at one point. I apologized for this, and have made my peace. If one person who has maintained hatred for the Dub and the Veep gives up this hatred, the world is a better place.

To an ex-girlfriend of mine from 12 years ago…your husband is one of my closest friends, and your continued hostility towards me, which he acknowledges is undeserved, hurts him. You will be asking God for forgiveness, but you have never accepted my overtures of peace. I offered peace 12 years ago, and wonder why the USA and Russia can shake hands but you and I cannot get along. Your husband is so hurt by our not getting along, and he knows that it is one directional hostility. I again offer you a hand of peace.

To a woman I am currently getting to know very slowly, I just want you to know that you are a special human being. I hope in advance that I do not disappoint you. I genuinely respect you, and am glad we met. I will do my best to not make mistakes, but just know my heart is in the right place, even when my brain is not.

To the readers of my blog, I try to maintain a position as a moderator. I hope I contribute positively to the blogosphere, and for those who want more, I am willing to listen. This does not mean agree, but I will listen.

As for certain relatives, just please respect my wishes.

As for various Rabbis, while you have welcomed me into your homes and your hearts, some of you have political views that just do not mesh with me. I want you to accept me regardless of my views, but not despite them, because my views make me who I am. I am not the “republican Jew.” I am a Jew who happens to be a republican.

I want to go to temple without hearing about Darfur, animal rights, global warming, and other aspects of Social Justice. I am tired of being told that being politically liberal is required for being a good human being and a good Jew. I would not mind if just one Rabbi talked about the value of human life, and how our soldiers are struggling for freedom so that all religions may worship in peace.

I wish the Jewish members of Moveon, Kos, and the Huffington Post would apologize to General Petraeus. It is one thing to disagree with a man. It is another to denigrate that man. We have to respect those that disagree with us, or we lose our souls.

I pray for the good health of my parents and grandparents, and I wish that those who are in a position to visit them would simply do so. At the very least, pick up a telephone as much as possible. It is too late when people are gone to wish we had told them we loved them.

Again, it may seem strange to use a holiday about self improvement to demand more of others, but I drive myself harder than any of you can imagine. Every year I debate whether my vow should be to be more patient or less patient.

I am not a patient person, but I do not want to lower my standards either.

What I want is to be perfect, and that will never happen. However, that is no excuse to throw in the towel on trying to improve at all.

To quote the 1960s group The Animals (redone in 2003 by Santa Esmeralda), “I’m just a soul whose intentions are good…oh lord, please don’t let me be misunderstood.”

For the Jewish people of the world, a peaceful Yom Kippur to you all. For non-Jews everywhere that have goodness in your hearts, and zero malice towards another, I wish you happiness always.

eric

The University of Socialism

Thursday, September 20th, 2007

I apologize in advance if this column bores many people to sleep. Although Tip O’Neill said that “all politics is local,” arguing about potholes is not as exciting as the War on Terror. However, to get to our destinations in life, those potholes occasionally develop accidental relevance.

I received a letter in the mail the other day from the American Jewish University, formerly known as the University of Judaism. Although I graduated from the UJ in only four years, it took me about a decade to get my diploma, since they sent it around the country rather than around the block where I had my actual physical address.

This was the first time in 17 years that I had received a piece of mail from the UJ (now AJU), and it was a letter announcing that the AJU Alumni Association actually existed. More importantly, it actually was going to do things.

The head of the steering committee, a Brian David Goldberg, attended the college with me. He was as political as I was, and I figured one day he would be a senator, or perhaps the head of a powerful congressional committee. He is now the chairman of the college alumni association steering committee. In all fairness, it is tough to plan life at age 18. I knew what I wanted in life, and went out and got it, but not everybody does. Sometimes that can be a blessing.

This guy and I were not best buddies by a long shot, but the guy I knew was tenacious, hard nosed, and ambitious. He seems determined to turn the AJUAA from the joke it is into an actual real organization.

I bring this to the world because the UJ I attended was a classic example of how to not thrive as an organization. They have a very competent President in Robert Wexler (not the democratic congressman from Florida) and an equally capable head of the business department in Mark Bookman. Unfortunately, those two men are overrun by a business model that simply does not work. Like many Jewish institutions, it is liberal, aka socialistic. My memories of Brian Goldberg are that he has a capitalist streak in him. If he does, his venture to turn around the AJUAA may succeed. If he goes about it as a typical Jewish nonprofit, he will fail. Here is my letter to him.

“Brian,

It seems like only yesterday you and I were throwing punches at each other in class…warm fuzzy memories indeed. Ok, enough reminiscing. Let’s get down to brass tacks. It isn’t your fault that it took 13 years to get an alumni letter to an alumni living a few blocks away, but you have a big task ahead of you. I have created successful ventures from scratch, and you are basically trying to start something out of nothing.

I have always said that the UJ was academically outstanding, socially limiting, and philosophically bankrupt. The education was fine, and comparable to any accredited institution. The problem is that if the UJ had an actual mission statement, I never knew what it was. I donate to Chabad and to Hillel because I can figure out what their actual purpose is, and that they actually have a battle plan to implement it.

Is the purpose of the AJUAA to organize social functions? I am sure you are not dedicating time for sock hops and ice cream socials. So let’s assume that the entire reason this organization is rising from the grave is to make money. If the reasons are not financial, then it is a complete and utter waste and should be taken out back ‘Old Yeller Style.’

The University’s business plan has always been to hope that rich Jewish people die and leave a donation. This allowed the UJ to survive, but not thrive. It was losing money every year, and every attempt to get rid of dead weight in the budget failed because of sentimental attachments to various individuals that refused to exit the stage gracefully. Former Chairman Jack Ostrow (rest his soul) once said, ‘It’s better to have people question why you are leaving than when you are leaving.’

I bring this up because of the sentence in your letter that states, ‘The administration has decided that the Alumni Association is going to be decentralized.’ To me this reads, and please correct me if I am wrong, that the administration is saying, ‘Screw yourself, you’re on your own, we do not have the time or resources to back a losing venture that has never amounted to anything.’ Is anybody advocating that the University back the AJUAA to the hilt to give it a fighting chance? If you can make this thing succeed it will be impressive, but I wish it had more support.

Anybody can armchair quarterback, so here are some suggestions.

First of all, having steering committee meetings at 7:30am is fabulous if the goal is to limit turnout, which is ideal for National Security Council meetings. People work during the day, which makes evening meetings a more sensible option. I would avoid Monday nights during football season, but that is my personal bias…no matter. Anyway, those issues are cosmetic. The serious issues are financial.

Does the AJU have an annual fund? I received my MBA from USC, and frequently receive calls from their annual fund. Heck, the UCLA annual fund calls me, and I took one extension class there back in 1994! Setting up an internship program where college students get college credit for cold-calling alumni and other individuals could work. Work study programs put UJ students in the library and the computer center. Put them on a telephone and have them dial for dollars. For the students there on scholarships, it is the very least they can do.

Next, if you have a budget greater than zero, hire an administrative assistant. Secretaries are worth their wait in gold, and most high flying executives would be lost without their secretaries. It is impossible to focus on making money when bogged down in paperwork. Every lost phone message is lost revenue.

Next, train the people to understand that all money is good. Be apolitical at all costs. The UJ was always to the left of Leon Trotsky ideologically. It is one thing to have socialists running the political science department. It is another to have them anywhere near anything involving money. I called up a few years ago to get copies of my college transcripts. The registrar Jill L. (very pleasant woman) no longer worked there. When I jokingly explained to her replacement that I wished my grades were better, she replied, ‘Well President Bush is an idiot with low grades, and he did fine.’

Are you kidding me? I explained to her that in a very divided country, to bring up politics with a total stranger on the telephone was not only inappropriate, it was bad for business. On more than one occasion, the University of Socialism has held up a ‘republicans need not apply’ sign. Some of the biggest contributors to Jewish institutions are people who love Israel, and many of them are Israelis, Persian Jews, and evangelical Christians. Many of these people are republicans. The AJU might as well just take hundred dollar bills out and burn them.

Oh, wait a sec, we already did that. Michael Milken offered the UJ 6 million dollars, and we turned it down. Last time I checked, he was not a drug lord or a mad dog killer. He was simply a brilliant businessman who made his money in the 1980s. Profits are not the same as greed, and the Milken High School across the street is thriving thanks to him.

UJ students know who Noam Chomsky and Che Guevara are, but they don’t know who Charles Krauthammer, Bill Kristol or John Podhoretz are. They are Jewish intellectuals. Dianne Feinstein and Gray Davis were invited to the university. What about Bruce Herschenson, Norm Coleman, Eric Cantor and other powerful respected individuals who would be thrilled with an invitation? How about Dr. Thomas Sowell, who could teach economics better than anyone on Earth now that Milton Friedman is gone?

I talk to UJ students currently attending from time to time, and the UJ seems cut off from anybody that is politically to the right of Barbara Boxer. This is bad for business.

Brian, you may think this is irrelevant to what you are trying to do, but think about it. If the parent company has a track record of failure (failure is a harsh word, but it has not reached its potential by a long shot), then the subsidiary will most likely fail.

You need to rapidly find alumni who are going to get in front of students and give them lessons they simply will not learn in the classroom. Here are some quick lessons.

There are no ugly billionaires. There is nothing noble or romantic about being poor and struggling. Rich people give more to charity than poor people because they can. The secret to life is to find rich and powerful people and get them to like you. Rich and important people never get tired of hearing how rich and important they are. If I thought it would help me get to the top, I would find these people and kiss their hides in Macy’s window. I would pull at their trousers and ask them where they want to be kissed. I didn’t do it because I liked it. I did it because it worked. Promote yourself shamelessly and relentlessly. Nobody achieved wealth and power by being too shy to tell the world how fabulous they were. Don’t become schoolteachers or social workers under any circumstances unless you love financial mediocrity. Become investment bankers, stockbrokers, and lawyers. Not legal aid lawyers mind you, but corporate hired guns willing to defend tobacco, gun, and food and beverage companies.

Also, and this may seem trivial, but either have a Halloween dance or don’t, but having a ‘Hal Levine’ dance is what I mean by being philosophically bankrupt. When I look in the mirror, I know exactly who and what I am, and the AJU must do the same.

The Golden Rule is that he who has the gold makes the rules. I did not make these rules up, but again, they work.

I know you know all this, but it genuinely bothers me that USC could track me down on business in Singapore (to ask for money of course) while the UJ takes 15 years to build a rec center because the left hand doesn’t know what the far left hand is doing.

You have a big task ahead of you. Many of the students who graduated from the UJ have feelings towards the institution ranging from outright contempt to complete neutral detachment. I personally want your venture to succeed because a stronger alumni network puts more money in my pocket.

Lastly, anybody can offer criticism and suggestions without offering help. I don’t open my checkbook to losing venture, and like any VC guy, I want to see a solid business plan and a track record of success. Otherwise, it’s a waste of money.

I am willing to help in the form of free advertising. I frequently promote www.chabad.org and www.uschillel.org when they need my help. My blog is currently the # 4 political blog in Los Angeles (check http://krla870.townhall.com for verification), and I only started this 6 months ago. Send me a link to the AJUAA site, assuming one even exists, and I will add it to my site. If anybody who is a UJ alum wants me to promote something important to them, I am happy to do it provided it is not politically left wing. Let them screw up society without my help.

I back winners. Create one, and I will back you.

If you are wondering how I could have the time to write this lengthy letter, it is simple. This is my column for the day. The Tygrrrr Express can be found at http://www.blacktygrrrr.wordpress.com and supported at http://www.bloggerschoiceawards.com/blogs/show/21020.

I am never going to be warm and fuzzy, but I am pretty d@mn effective. So either use me as a resource or don’t. Either way, good luck. You’ll need it, and it is deserved.

I wish AJU and AJUAA a peaceful Yom Kippur and a productive year.

Eric”

I will leave my readers with the wisdom of two brilliant people. The first is my late grandfather, who was an Orthodox Rabbi and a businessman. He told me once that he wanted me to be successful by following in his footsteps. I told him that I did not wish to be a Rabbi. He replied, “I don’t want you to be a Rabbi. I want you to be a businessman. Never send a Rabbi to do a businessman’s job.”

The other person who helped me along was a man named Norman Lee. Before the incredibly long “College of Arts and Sciences at the University of Judaism,” existed, the undergraduate program was simply Lee College. Norman Lee gave me a merit scholarship. Boy did he understand merit. He told me, “Never be ashamed of making money. As long as you live life the right way, and you live an honest, ethical life, and you make sure to give back, make as much money as possible so you can help more people. People say wealth will not make you happy, but it absolutely can contribute to a blissfully happy life.”

Then he smiled, and in his aristocratic British accent, with his wife Sadie by his side, said one thing I will never forget.

“Eric…I’m rich…and I’m happy!”

Lord I miss that man. I hope the University of Socialism lets me spread his message to every student that passes through those doors, along with a lecture in Reaganomics.

eric

My Interview With Jackie Mason

Tuesday, September 18th, 2007

I had the pleasure recently of getting to know Jackie Mason through his trusty associate and technological genius Steve Sabaugh. Although I sent the questions by email as I always do, Jackie responded to me digitally. I was going to transcribe the video and turn it into a written format, but he has such an enjoyable presence that I decided to leave it as is. Also, transcribing is tedious work, I don’t have a secretary, and a lawsuit against Jackie for carpal tunnel syndrome was not a sure thing, even if I went before a left wing judge.

On 9/11 I met Jackie Mason for coffee. The interview had already been completed, so this was more of an informal get together. Jackie, Steve and I (in addition to a friend of Jackie’s who joined us) sat around talking about anything and everything, from politics to women to donuts. It was heartening to see that many Jewish republicans in the same room. Jackie and Steve have a relationship that is a comedy routine itself. They argue back and forth, but when all is said in done, beneath the jibes (there were plenty), there is a healthy degree of respect and admiration.

Jackie even spoke to my father on my cell phone for a few minutes. I called up my dad and asked, “Dad, have you got a sec?” He said he did, so I told him, “I have a friend who wants to say hello to you.” When Jackie asked what my dad did professionally, my dad stated that he was retired. Jackie didn’t miss a beat, challenging my dad. “You’re retired and your son needs to ask if you have a sec? Of course you have a sec. You don’t do anything.” I got nervous when Jackie and my dad commiserated that I was still single, but thank the heavens neither of them brought up my slightly longer than nice Jewish boy standards hair.

Although it is occasionally tough to hear the questions, Jackie repeats them in his answers, which is helpful. Jackie is also not shy about letting me know when my questions are not up to snuff. I was not expecting as the interviewer to be a target of some of his jokes, but I have to admit, he is as quick as he is funny. He is also very deep on certain issues as well.

http://www.jackiemason.com/showarchive/archives/9 

For those of you who have trouble with the link, stop being lazy and just cut and paste the thing. If I am forced to transcribe it, I will put in subliminal messages asking you all to elect me President for Life…actually, not a bad idea.

To say that Jackie Mason and his sidekick Steve were generous with their time would be an understatement. For further updates about the world that is Jackie Mason, including his upcoming comedy show in March, go to http://www.jackiemason.com

Despite his unwillingness to do Caddyshack 3, he remains the Ultimate Jew, a good republican, and one of the all time great comedians. In addition, his family and my family are both proud of him and expect more big things from him.

eric

http://www.bloggerschoiceawards.com/blogs/show/21020

 

The Rosh Hashanah Dilemma

Thursday, September 13th, 2007

To Jewish people everywhere, I wish you a peaceful and happy Rosh Hashanah. To Jewish people everywhere, I apologize for typing this on Rosh Hashanah. I hope you are not reading this on the High Holy Days.

My internal battle to be a better human being and a better Jew is never ending.

Jews are not supposed to work on Rosh Hashanah. I took two days off from work. However, we are not supposed to do anything that we normally do. For one, the bulk of our time should be spent in shul, also known as synagogue or temple.

I was not raised orthodox, although I have a deep respect for religious traditions. So many religious and secular people are at each other’s throats, and I respect those who obey the traditions as well as those who do not. However, some people refuse to obey traditions because they say those traditions themselves are archaic. Nonsense. Religion requires discipline, and I have shortcomings. It requires sacrifice, and I am lazy. I do not obey some of my own traditions, but I refuse to blame the traditions themselves for my inability to follow them. The traditions do not need to lower their standards or bend with the times. I need to raise my standards.

I remember one time on Passover, my friends and I went to Dennys. We were not allowed to eat bread, so when we were brought turkey plates with stuffing, we asked the waiter to take back the stuffing. He offered us cornbread, rolls, and other bread, and was confused that we refused them. He stated the bread was free. We did not wish to give a long explanation. We ate no bread that night.

My father, a secular man, found this to be a worthless gesture. We were trying to feel good about ourselves, and we should not have been eating in a non-kosher restaurant to start with. The plates were not kosher, and the turkey was not kosher either.

My grandfather, an Orthodox Rabbi, disagreed. He recognized that we would have eaten the stuffing had it not been Passover. He did not condone being in Dennys, but he stated that every little bit does matter. We did the right thing, and gradual positive change is better than an all or nothing approach, especially if it leads to nothing.

One dilemma I have always had is the Sabbath. God wants me to honor it and keep it holy. Since the National Football League is on Sundays, this is not normally a conflict. However, the playoffs also occur on Saturdays. It is not an easy choice, but I watch the games.

However, the High Holidays are more serious. In 1993, the Raiders played the Chiefs on Monday Night Football, which was also on Yom Kippur, the Holiest day. I decied to tape the game and watch it 24 hours later. This was not easy for me. I avoided all newspapers for the whole time. After 24 hours, as I was about to watch the game, somebody accidentally saw me and told me the score. They had assumed I watched it. Why God, why?

On several occasions ESPN announced Chris Berman started NFL Primetime by wishing the Jewish audience members a happy Rosh Hashanah, and then playfully saying, “For those of you watching this broadcast on the east coast, you should be in temple right now.” My friends and I on the west coast laughed heartily at that.

The spirit of the law says I should not be watching football on Rosh Hashanah. However, the letter of the law simply states I cannot turn on the television, since creating electricity is considered working. I could turn the television on before the holiday, but leaving it on for two days straight is not feasible. Several years ago I did what any rational person would do. I found the temple across the street from the sportsbar, and found out when the services were, and when the games were on. I ran back and forth like Mrs. Doubtfire, switching my Yamulkah (skullcap) with my baseball cap. I had my respectable shirt and necktie on in temple, and kept removing it to have only my Raiders shirt on in the bar.

Did I say rational? No, this is what idiotic people do. At some point, I had to start making choices. I had to stop kidding myself. Perhaps one day I will.

Wednesday Night, September 12th, was the beginning of Rosh Hashanah. I was not in temple. I was on a Jdate. Yes, two Jewish people skipped Temple to go on a date. I will refer to her as the “New York Nightingale,” and say that the date was a fabulous experience. I am not proud of ditching temple, but I want to find somebody special to lead a Jewish life with. God helps those who help themselves, and while I may not have done right according to God, I did what was right for me. Based on the quality of the evening, I would have much bigger regrets about missing out on meeting her than being in Temple, since all I would do in Temple is pray that I meet a special woman (in addition to praying for my family of course)!

I have decided that if I am too busy to blog, I will skip it for a couple days. However, if the breaks in the service are long, and I have free time, I might start typing away. The holiest day of the year, Yom Kippur, is easy to figure out. Jewish holidays are not from midnight to midnight, like Christmas is. We go from sundown the night before to the next sundown. Therefore, I can type before sundown before Yom Kippur starts, and then the next day wait until after sundown.

The problem with this is that I spent more time trying to figure out loopholes in the letter of the law then I did in actually obeying the law! Also, Judaism, unlike American law, highly values the intentions and spirit that the laws were intended for. Yom Kippur is a day about atoning and apologizing for bad behavior, and even typing this column is another thing to apologize for in what seems like a never ending list.

No, I am not one of those stereotypical, angst ridden Jews. Actually the opposite. I feel guilty for not feeling guilty enough. I do as I d@mn well please, which is certainly not going to endear me to the Big G (God, not Greenspan).

All I ask God for is to look after my family and friends, and to not shove a flamethrower up my rumpus any time soon. Somewhere out there is a bigger screwup than me. I drive too fast, but always make sure one car is driving faster than me. However, wishing for somebody to do something diabolical to let me slide down the list does not cut it. God does not play the lowered expectations game. He does not grade on a curve. I have to make myself better, regardless of what others do.

I picture John Cougar Mellencamp singing “Check it out.” He sings, “Time to settle with my neighbor. Time to question my own behavior.”

By the time people read this, I will be in temple. I had better be. As for my Jewish friends, I hope they wait until after the holiday to read it. As for my Muslim friends, I do not know what the rules are concerning Ramadan and the blogosphere. I often have to eat my words, but only figuratively. However, Christian America should read these words. I could use the traffic. Oh great, another shameless self promotion, which is being added to my Yom Kippur list.

May God look after his children, the Jewish people, and all the children of the world. May God look after my family and friends. May God look after good people everywhere, and love good people even if they disagree in part or in whole about God himself.

May God give me the strength to figure out who and what I am so that next year on Rosh Hashanah I will either write a column and shut up about it, or to the delight of many Jewish people I admire, not write a column at all.

Amen.

eric

Great Quotes

Monday, September 3rd, 2007

Today is Labor Day, so in the spirit of the working man, I am going to go gorge on red meat while leaving you all with some of my favorite quotes from a book by Glenn Liebman.

“I don’t hire anybody not brighter than I am. If they’re not brighter than I am, I don’t need them.”–Bear Bryant

“I just found out what ’emeritus’ means. It means working without pay.”–Moose Krause

“An Atheist in Alabama is one that doesn’t believe in Bear Bryant.”–Wally Butts

When asked if wanted to meet the Chicago Bears, he replied, “I always enjoy animal acts.”–Calvin Cooledge

“The Bears are so tough that when they finish sacking the quarterback, they go after his family in the stands.”–Tim Wrightman

“We didn’t have steroids. If I wanted to get pumped up, I drank a case of beer.”–Art Donovan

“I’m going to study Spanish so I can use a few expletives in my press conference next season.”–Francis Peay

“A football player is like a prostitute. Your body is only worth something for so long. When it’s no good anymore, nobody wants it.”–Larry Grantham

When asked the most profitable type of writing,he responded, “Ransom notes.”–Alex Karras

“The Rose Bowl is the only bowl that I didn’t have to clean.”–Erma Bombeck

“It’s a good thing Brian was a 3rd child, or he would have been the only one.”–Kathy Bosworth

“In the long run, the cream always rises and the crap always sinks.”–John Elway

“I left because of illness and fatigue. The fans were sick and tired of me.”–John Ralston

When asked after a bad game about the Buccaneers’ execution, he replied,” It’s a good idea. I’m in favor of it.”–John McKay

“The real make of a man is how he treats people who can never do anything for him.”–Darrell Royal

“If you’re a pro coach, NFL stands for ‘Not for long'”–Jerry Glanville

Asked if he was the best coach in the country he replied, “Absolutely. There are a 1000 better coaches in the cities, but I’m the best in the country.”–Lou Holtz.

Asked his college major, he replied, “I got a B.S. in B.S.”–Bubba Baker

“I never graduated college, but I was only there for 2 terms..Truman’s and Eisenhower’s.”–Alex Karras

“We’re as clean as any team. We wash our hands before we hit anybody.”–Nate Newton

“Al Davis is the kind of guy who would steal your eyes and then try to convince you that you looked better without them”–Sam Rutigliano

Asked what he wanted on his tombstone, he replied, “To my wife…I told you I was sick.”–Lou Holtz

“If defensive linemens’ IQs were 5 points lower, they’d be geraniums.”–Russ Francis

“Now that I’m retired, I want to say that all defensive linemen are sissies.”–Dan Fouts

“I’m a light eater. As soon as it’s light, I start to eat.”–Art Donovan

“Everyone is unhappy at times, even my wife. Only she doesn’t get interviewed about it.”–John McKay

“If I drop dead tomorrow, at least I’ll know I died in good health.”–Bum Phillips

“People say I’ll be drafted in the first round, maybe even higher.”–Craig “Ironhead” Heyward

“Asked if he ever dreamt about losing so much, he replied, “No, I dream about girls.”–Dexter Clinkscale

“Most players don’t mind drug testing once they realize they don’t have to study for it.”–Mack Brown

“My only request is that I draw my last dollar and my last breath at the exact same moment.”–Bobby Layne

“If I were a reporter, I’d want to talk to me.”–Todd Christiansen

“If you don’t have an ego, you’re a wino.”–Conrad Dobler

“If I didn’t enjoy gloating so much, I wouldn’t do so many interviews.”–Jimmy Johnson

“Emotion is overrated. There was a lot of emotion at the Alamo, and nobody survived.”–Ron Meyer

“I recruited a Czech kicker, and during the eye exam, when asked to read the bottom line, the kicker replied, ‘Read it? I know him.'”–Woody Hayes

“If ESPN had been around 18 years ago, I wouldn’t have any children.”–Gene Murphy

“If a man watches 3 football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.”–Erma Bombeck

“Football features 2 of the worst aspects of American life–violence and committee meetings.”–George Will

“The man who complains about the way the ball bounces is most likely the one who dropped it.”–Lou Holtz

When asked what he ran the 40 yard dash in, he replied, “Shorts.”–Chuck Doyle

“I normally run the 40 yard dash in 4.9, but when a 280 guy is chasing me, I run it in 4.6.”–John Elway

“I wish I could remember my halftime speech so I could forget it.”–Jerry Davitch

“When I look in the mirror in the morning, I want to take a swing at me.”–Woody Hayes

“He’s not small, he’s just short.”–Bum Phillips

“That boy don’t know the meaning of the word fear.” In fact, I just saw his grades, and that boy don’t know the meaning of a lot of words.”–Bobby Bowden

In discussing another player he said, “Physically he is a world beater. Mentally he is an egg beater.”–Matt Elliott

On another player, he said, “He has a lot of class. And all of it is 3rd.”–Conrad Dobler

“I haven’t heard from Elvis since his daughter married Michael Jackson. I think it killed him.”–Jerry Glanville

“Tom Landry is such a perfectionist that if he were married to Dolly Parton, he’d ask her to cook.”–Don Meredith

“The quality of a man’s life is in direct proportion to his commitment to excellence, regardless of his chosen field of endeavor.”–Vince Lombardi

Happy Labor Day everybody!

eric

Hurricane Howard Dean, Haiku, and Fraggle Rock Revisited

Thursday, August 23rd, 2007

I am not willing to imply that there is truly nothing going on in the world. There is a War on Terror. However, judging by the way half the nation acts, all is peaceful everywhere on Lollipop Lane in Candyland.

The Seattle Post Intelligencer, besides being misnamed (Seattle and intelligence do not belong in the same sentence, unless your IQ is a higher number than the cost of your coffee), has managed to turn a serious issue involving criminals being sought by the FBI into a Haiku contest. This smug, liberal paper (it is Seattle after all) admitted this was boneheaded after everyone else in America outside of Seattle pointed this out.

http://michellemalkin.com/2007/08/22/seattle-p-i-no-we-wont-help-the-fbiwell-hold-a-haiku-contest-instead/#comments

My first attempt at this 5-7-5 idiotic excuse for poetry was as follows.

Never liked Haikus

I find them very pointless

So is Seattle

Realizing that nothing else was relevant to the Seattle liberals of the world, and that it is easier to lower the level of intelligence than raise it, I decided to revisit an issue that affected children throughout the 1980s…Fraggle Rock.

In the past, while debating with the lads whether or not C3PO is gay, we also debated the political philosophies of the Fraggles.

https://tygrrrrexpress.com/2007/07/c3po-fraggle-rock-and-the-log-cabin-republicans/

I then realized the sheer of brilliance of why these issues converged. The theme to Fraggle Rock is in that wonderfully beautiful non-pointless Haiku format.

Dance your cares away

Worries for another day

Let the music play

Yes, Haiku folks…Down in Fraggle Rock.

Some may say that one should focus on serious matters, but given that there is an entire political party that speaks even more gibberish then anything in this column, why bother? They cannot raise the level of intelligence and discourse because they are led by a screaming megalomaniac. While watching the weather report, it seems that Hurricane Howard Dean is all the…rage.

The Chirac News Network had its version of Hurricane Howard Dean, but since I do not speak French, I have translated the CNN article into English.

“Once a monster Category 5 hurricane, Dean was downgraded to a tropical depression Wednesday evening as it rapidly lost strength after battering Mexico’s eastern coast.”

Once a monster who raised 40 million dollars from the dregs of society, Dean rapidly burned through all the money, and was downgraded to 4th place in Iowa.

“But the storm continued to be dangerous as it diminished.”

Howard Dean will not shut up and go away quietly.

“Authorities worried the influx of water, possibly coupled with rains over the mountains to the west, could lead to flooding.”

Authorities in the democratic party worried that Dean would lead them over the cliff, unable to relate to anybody in the South or Mountain West, triggering a republican tidal wave.

“It has been steadily weakening since. At 11 p.m. ET, Dean’s winds had dropped to 35 mph, the center said in its last public advisory on the system. The storm was moving west at near 21 mph.”

The democratic party disavows its own national committee chairman. He still rants as he disintegrates, but nobody listens. He is banned to rural areas far away from television cameras.

“All tropical storm and hurricane warnings have been canceled.”

Democrats try to scramble television stations when he is about to speak.

“After losing some intensity crossing the peninsula, Dean regained some strength Wednesday over the warm waters of the Gulf of Mexico.”

Dean’s socialist rhetoric plays well in Vermont and Mexico, and nowhere in between.

“In preparation, Mexican government officials on Tuesday traveled from beach to beach warning people to prepare for the weakened hurricane.”

Unlike Dean, many Mexicans like America and want to come here. They come to America for a dream, and do not understand why this white doctor is so angry.

“‘Fortunately, based on initial information, the damage is not as bad as we had expected it would be, thank God,’ (Mexican President) Calderon said. He credited preventive measures taken by federal and state workers.”

By ignoring and marginalizing Dean, Rahm Emanuel was able to give strict orders to Nancy Pelosi to prevent any democrat running for congress to discuss any policy or, program, or offer any idea whatsoever. Liberals at the state and federal level were ordered to call themselves progressives.

“Power was knocked out, but most of the city’s 130,000 residents appeared to have heeded government warnings to seek shelter or evacuate.”

The democrats lost their grip on power several days after they stumbled into a victory in the 2006 election, when moderate democrats that did not despise all republicans or think the President was the artist formerly known as Adolphus Schickelgruber ran for the hills every time Dean spoke or Pelosi embraced Syrian terrorist Assad.

“Dean is being blamed for at least nine deaths in its march across the Caribbean, including two in Jamaica, two in Haiti, two in Martinique, two in Dominica and one in St. Lucia.”

Dean’s support now consists of his wife in Vermont, a charming married gay couple in Massachusetts, a Rhode Island drifter, and five San Francisco teenagers that burn President Bush in effigy in the town square to raise money to buy marijuana.

“Ahead of the storm, the Mexican government deployed 4,000 troops to the area, and a state of emergency was declared in the state of Campeche.”

Howard Dean is still the head of the DNC. Panicked democrats insist that his referring to republicans as white Christians that never worked an honest day in their lives was taken out of context, and that hating everything these Christians stand for is only bad if one knows what hate actually is.

To put it in Haiku form, the issue is simple.

Quiet Mr. Dean

Hurricane Howard is done

Libs sit down, you’re wrong

For those who find Haiku to be more elitist and complex than a Jayson Blair Times crossword puzzle, I shall dumb it down one final time so that even Patricia Schroeder liberals do not cry due to a failure to understand it.

Reid, Pelosi, Drunken Kennedy, and Hurricane Howard Dean call the president everything from a liar to a loser.

The President laughs at them like the fun loving guy he is. They are beneath him on every level. In the world of Fraggle Rock, each one of them is a hopeless, failed, ignored, Doozer.

eric

My Interview With Evan Sayet

Monday, July 23rd, 2007

It was my pleasure this weekend to interview politically conservative satirist Evan Sayet. I have met Evan on several occasions, and have enjoyed his “Right to Laugh” comedy shows at the Friar’s Club in Beverly Hills, among other locations.

His website is http://www.evansayet.com. If any of you cheat and skip the interview, Evan will know about it somehow.

I was initially going to ask him what kind of tree or Al Gore he would be, or which Fox News anchor he most wanted to share a jello bath with, but he told me to leave Greg Gutfield out of this (No, he did not say that).

Although Evan has his roots as a stand up comedian, he has very serious notions and thoughts about very serious topics. Like most people, there is a lot more than meets the eye. Here is the transcript of my interview with Evan Sayet. 

1) You were not always politically conservative. What specific events led you to conservatism?

I call myself a 9-13 Republican.  I wasn’t surprised by 9/11.  Of course I was sickened by the carnage and the specific targets were stunning, knowing that the Islamists were murdering the Jews of Israel for decades for no other reason than that they were the CLOSEST infidels (and because of the Arab/Moslem world’s lack of accomplishment, the only ones they could reach), it didn’t surprise me that when they could they would begin to murder the BIGGEST infidels — Americans.
    No, what surprised me took place figuratively on what I call “9-12” — the days and weeks and months AFTER 9/11 and that was the response of my Liberal friends to the attacks.  The notion that we “deserved” them and that somehow we could avoid future attacks by being nicer to the terrorists and giving in to their demands made it clear that there was no place for me in the leftist party.
    I began, for the first time, to investigate the Republican and the conservative movement and discovered that not only were the caricatures of them that I’d been raised with weren’t true, they were smarter, more moral, more patriotic and much, much, much more reasonable in their positions than the hysteria I began to recognize was the whole of the Liberal movement. 

2) Who are your top 3 political heroes, and why?
   
    I’m not much of a hero-worshiper.  There are people who I respect for their intellect, their clarity and, because the leftists along with their Islamist allies are often violent or at least threaten violence, courage as well.  My unwitting mentor is Dennis Prager, for their clarity of thought I also turn a great deal to the works of Victor Davis Hanson and Charles Krauthammer.  I could list another score whose works inspire me and inform my own works and thinking. 

3) Who are your top 3 inspirations that led you to your career in the entertainment industry?
       I’m not sure that choice could be called “inspired.”  Frankly, I needed a profession where one wasn’t cooped up all day and this was the only job where, as comedian Rich Voss says, “where you can say to your friends ‘I have to go to work…I’ll be right back.'”  It was more the liberty that stand-up offered and the luck of the timing where a comedy “boom” was taking place that stand-up suddenly was a real profession where one could make a living. 

4) On stage you are funny but the world can be a serious place. What political issues are you most passionate about?
    There are two overriding concerns.  They are interrelated and virtually all other issues are but subsets.  There’s the need to defeat Islamic fascism for the world is truly threatened with a return to a dark age — “reprimitivization” I think Mark Steyn calls it and, despite the left’s inability to recognize it, it is real and it is spreading throughout the world and it is worse in ways than Nazism.
    Failing to defeat Islamism makes nothing else of any great importance.
    The other great issue has become known as “the culture war” in America and this is related to Islamism because the Democrats’ are so morally and intellectually perverted in their “thinking” they believe that it is America that is evil and the Islamists are the innocent victim of America’s evil prejudices and thus are (sort of) unwitting allies of the movement that threatens the existence of enlightened civilization.
    The leftists’ efforts to destroy Western Civilization through the perversion of our children, the promotion of indiscriminate and promiscuous sexual activities, the denigration of our society in their schools and movies, the undermining of the family unit and their portrayal of American patriotism as “xenophobia” are things that have to be beaten back.

 5) Who are your favorite 3 comedians, and what do you think makes them so special?      The comic whose style most influenced my own is Johnny Carson.  His reaction to the audiences’ reactions were often better than the jokes.  I also learned how to be a good interviewer from Carson because unlike, say, Leno, Carson allowed the show to speak for itself.  If the show worked then he saw it as a success.  For this reason, if the guest was doing well on their own he let them roll.  He would only insert himself if the guest needed some help (like being asked questions instead of telling a story.)
    I was a huge fan of Woody Allen’s stand-up when I was young as well.  His stories were well-crafted and intelligent.  I loved Rodney and Henny Youngman’s one-liners, but it was the stories of Woody Allen that let me know there was more.
    Please don’t think I’m denigrating Rodney because I’m not.  In fact I’d say he’d be the third of the three you asked for because his one-liners were as good as they get.

    

6) Liberal comedians such as Al Franken and Janine Garofolo can be funny when not discussing politics. Why in general are politically liberal stand up comics not successful in doing straight political routines as you are? Or are they? What went wrong with Air America in your opinion?
   

Liberals have the problem that they are so filled with hate for non-leftists that they cannot laugh at themselves and they cannot give their enemies human qualities.  It’s hard to be witty and clever when you consider anyone who disagrees with you to be nothing short of “Hitler.”  There just aren’t all that many good “Hitler jokes” out there.
    On the other side, they are terrified that if they point out foibles or failures of their own side they are somehow arming the enemy by pointing out their failures.  This leaves them very little to actually make jokes about.  This is why when John Kerry turned to the best leftist political comedian he could find, Whoopi Goldberg, for his big event at Radio City Music Hall a few years ago, the best joke she could make was to point to her crotch and say “Bush?  I have a bush in my pants.”    Air America failed because the Modern Liberal cannot compete in any forum where debate and discussion is allowed.  Their arguments are so devoid of truth that they only succeed in those venues where they can LECTURE to other people swearing that their lies are the truth.  This is why they do well on the 23-minute nightly news programs on the networks where the anchor dictates “the truth” but fail miserably on the hour-ling debate and discussion programs on the cable news channels.  On talk radio the host gives his opinion — and admits it’s his opinion — and then must be prepared to thoughtfully answer up to forty callers challenging his assumptions and facts.  Because the leftists’ assumptions and facts are wrong, they cannot survive the challenge. 

7) Which politicians past and present from a comedic standpoint are the “gift that keeps on giving?” Which are more difficult to have fun with?
     

It’s easier to make fun of George Bush both because he is the President and he stands out as opposed to Nancy Pelosi or Harry Reid whose jobs and personalities are lesser known.  For this reason I try to play to audiences who are extremely knowledgeable about politics. 
    Watch a Leno monologue and you’ll see that his punchlines almost invariably address the most obvious, well-known and caricatured aspect of the subject.  Boris Yeltsin being a drunk, George Bush being “stupid,” Bill Clinton being a philanderer, etc.  Lesser known politicians don’t tend to have that one thing that stands out.  Further, because they are protected by their co-ideologists in the media, those that would stand out, such as Nancy Pelosi’s staggering stupidity, are covered-up by the press and thus not of much use in front of a general audience. 

8.) Many funny individuals from Jim Carrey to Bill Murray to Adam Sandler have tried to grow beyond comedy, taking on serious roles. Do you want to stay on the comedy side, or do you want to branch out into more serious endeavors?
     I don’t bill myself as a stand-up comedian.  I call myself a “satirist” so that it’s understood that my shows aren’t going to be “joke-joke-joke” and that there’s going to be more heft to it.  I also have a very serious presentation of my unique understanding of the Modern Liberal “thinks” and why they side invariably and inevitably with evil, failure and wrong.  This more serious talk I call “Regurgitating the Apple: How Modern Liberals ‘Think'” as opposed to the “satire” which I call my “Right to Laugh” tour.  Sometimes, especially when I play colleges or symposiums, I’ll do the comedy one night and sit on or moderate a serious panel the next day. 

9) In your lifetime, what television comedies have you enjoyed the most? What made them so good?
    
   When I was young I loved the TV show “MASH.”  I didn’t realize how it was intended to indoctrinate people into the leftist mindset and enjoyed both the storylines with their life-and-death undertones and the sometimes smart, sometimes silly but always rapid-fire delivery of Hawkeye Pierce whom I fancied myself a disciple. 
      These days I find myself watching very little episodic TV but I do like “Monk” a lot for it’s clever twists and interesting characterizations and the animated shows like The Simpsons and even “Family Guy” (although I’ve grown sick of their gratuitous and hateful attacks on America and Americans).  These shows, though, have some of the cleverest lines and can do almost anything for they don’t have to worry about reality.
 
 

10) Do you feel the increased amount of sex, violence, and foul language in comedy routines is problematic for society, or are concerns about this much ado about nothing at all?
   

This is much of what I write about and I think that it’s part of the leftists’ plan to undermine the values of American society.  They hope to destroy the innocence of America’s youth and undermine the values that made the last century the “American Century” and which created “The Greatest Generation.”
     

11) If you had an invitation to the White House, would you prefer to do a stand up routine for the President, or interview him? What would you say to or ask him?
   

First I would thank the President for defending this nation, for being, according to Ariel Sharon (and he was right) “the best friend Israel has ever had,” and I would implore him to take off the gloves and start fighting back against the leftists who are not constrained in their attacks by such things as truth, morality and decency.  The left HATES America and because the President isn’t fighting back hard enough, they are winning the battle in the minds of many Americans.
    Thanks to their lies in the leftist media, for example, people think this economy — one of the best in human history — is in bad shape, they are unaware of the Islamists intentions because the media lies about their crimes by not calling them terrorists and covers-up the perpetrators by not calling them Moslem.
    I have often said that I think the President’s Christianity is his greatest strength and his greatest weakness.  It’s has greatest strength because, having a strong moral standard he doesn’t need to take a poll like Bill Clinton to determine what is right and he can continue to do the right things even if it means he’s “less popular.”  People who have no values care if they’re popular, people with values care only if they are right.
    But Bush’s Christianity, I think, prevents him from taking off the gloves and fighting back against the liars on the left.  He keeps “turning the other cheek” as Ted Kennedy slanders him and America, Jimmy Carter goes around the world lying against this nation and Michael Moore gets standing ovations for his lie-filled, anti-American propaganda movies. 

12) Do you think it is a positive or negative development that infotainment has become a staple of the nightly news? Should Hollywood celebrities be relegated to shows like “Access Hollywood,” with the news only covering hard news, or is the “dumbing down” of the news overblown, or a myth altogether?
   

 This, too, is a reflection of the lefts’ lack of values and intellect.  Because they believe in nothing, celebrity rather than intellect has become the measure of what is right.  Why would I care what Barbra Streisand thinks?  Because she sings “perty?”  It’s asinine — which is why it’s so much a part of the leftist news media these days. 

13) Do you belong to any religious faith, and what role does it play in your life? Does it play a role in your comedy routine?
   

 I was raised “culturally Jewish.”  What that means is that I was snipped at the age of eight days, was Bar Mitzvah’d 12 years and three hundred something days later with no knowledge whatsoever about what I was saying and with no obligation to actually be a man after that, but I ate my bagels and cream cheese with “lox” as opposed to “smoked salmon.”
    I was taught that all religions are basically the same — a lot of tradition, some ritual, a great deal of hocus-pocus, but really no different than any other.
    It was only after my rejection of the mindlessness that is behind these “thoughts” that came with my rejection of the utterly mindless Democratic Party after 9/11 that I began to seriously investigate religions, including my own.  I have since fallen in love with Judaism (and have the highest regard for Christianity — especially American Christianity which honors its Jewish heritage) and recognize that I have far more in common with a practicing Christian in America than I do with the “secular,” liberal Jew who is really an anti-Semite and America-hater (I explain all this in my forthcoming book).
    There are certain givens in my comedy routine and my serious lecture — truths I hold to be self-evident and these include that Judaism and American Christianity are good and the Islamism is evil.  It’s discussed and implied throughout my talks. 

14) Without mentioning any mediums or television shows in particular, how do you balance the desire to gain exposure, which is vital in the early going, versus protecting the quality of the “Evan Sayet Brand?”
   

Because I was starting over with my new take on the world, I have been promoting myself in a grassroots fashion.  My old rolodex from 20 plus years in show biz could get me a meeting over at “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy,” but didn’t include the Republican Jewish Coalition of the Women’s Federation of Republicans — people both knowledgeable enough to appreciate and be supportive of my efforts. 
     Mass exposure, then, hasn’t been my goal.  I’ve been building from the local to the state and now to the national by becoming the sort of “go-to guy” for high end, intelligent gatherings such as David Horowitz’s Restoration Weekend and CPAC and the like.  I’ve also gotten a great deal of support from the talk radio community where I can be both funny and serious depending on what needs to be said. 

15) Were you doing comedy or entertainment of any kind in 2001, and did 9/11 force you to make any alterations, especially in the short term? How did 9/11 affect you on a personal level?
   

I’ve answered this in detail above.  In 2001 I was working at an internet company providing content (yes, like so many others I’d been suckered into the dot com world) and writing and producing my documentary on the 70’s for the Discovery Channel (available at my website.) 

16) If you are on O’Reilly or Hannity for 5 minutes, what are you talking to them about?
   

Everything I talk about comes down to a single, overarching subject, how the Modern Liberal “thinks” and why they invariably side with evil over good, wrong over right and the behaviors that lead to failure over those that lead to success.  Thus, if the subject is their promotion of promiscuity in the schools or trying to undermine our efforts to defeat Saddam Hussein or any other specific issue, it is always approached from the point of my understanding of their agenda and methods. 

17) What other projects do you have in the works?
   

I say that I am in the “conservative thought industry.”  That means that I sell my thoughts in a variety of ways: as a guest on talk radio programs or TV (mostly Fox, of course, as the leftists don’t want to hear it), guest hosting these radio shows, writing articles, giving my serious lecture to groups small and large, participating in symposiums, doing the humorous version and right now I am writing the book “Regurgitating the Apple: How Modern Liberals ‘Think'” for publication by Regnery Press in 2008. 

18) What other up and coming comedians should America be on the lookout for in the next 2-3 years? What current comedians are the most underrated, and deserving of a breakout? What do you like about them?
   

I really don’t have the stomach for watching stand-up comedy much these days.  Remember, I was a road comic for a decade, eating, sleeping and breathing jokes, routines, other comics, watching the comedy shows to see if they were right for me, etc.  That being said, I think Chris Rock borders on the brilliant at times.  Jon Stewart is exceptionally funny (although because of his blatant leftist, New York, liberal, Jew, show biz POV the jokes can get old easily).
    As far as the “unknowns” go I haven’t the foggiest as I don’t spend any time in the clubs these days nor watch them on TV. 

19) What is most important to you in this world?
   

Right now it is fighting to preserve what Abraham Lincoln rightly recognized as “the last best hope for man on Earth.”  If the Islamists win — and that’s almost inevitable if the Democrats win the White House in 2008 as they will run around the world trying to appease them — then nothing else much matters.   

20) What do you want people to know about you most?
   

They don’t need to know anything about me.  I have my friends and my family and they need to know me.  All anyone else needs to know is my work and to recognize that it doesn’t come from a bearing political hatchet — I was one of them until I came out of my moral and intellectual coma.  It’s not a religious thing.  I was one of them in that way, too.  It’s not that I want “tax cuts for the rich,” for I am far from rich.  I have no reason whatsoever to believe what I have come through my studies to believe.  In fact, I wish it weren’t true.  I wish we had a loyal opposition in America instead of what the Democratic Party has become.
    I will never forget listening to a Holocaust survivor talk about her “happy childhood” before the Nazis.  Just because everything is wonderful in America today doesn’t mean the Islamists can’t and won’t create another dark age if we don’t stop them.  Too many on the left have lived such isolated and privileged lives and have no clue about the real world and the horrors that exist, that they are angry at America for not giving them — literally giving them — everything they want and, because of the narcissism induced in them in the schools and elsewhere through “self-esteem” programs — believe they are entitled to.
     I am a patriotic American not because I was born here and am “xenophobic” but because America has afforded me — and all Americans (even the ones taught to cry “victim” at every one of their failures) more freedoms and more opportunities than any other nation in human history.  I am grateful, the Democrat feels “entitled” to all that and more.

I would like to thank Evan Sayet for his graciousness and his time. Although he did not ask me to tell any of you this, I want the world to know that in the time it took to conduct and publish this interview, Al Queda formulated more plans to kill us and democrats in Congress did nothing to stop them. 

It is a rare pleasure to have somebody who can discuss the War on Terror, make us laugh, and know when each situation is appropriate. Much success Evan.

eric  

 

May God Bless the newest liberal to enter this world

Monday, July 2nd, 2007

I am declaring a ceasefire in politics for the next 6 hours. Why? because it’s my column, and I can. It is rare that something occurs that is more important than what I see on the news, but today God has taken his beautiful light and brought something fabulous into this world…a new baby boy, with the proud father being a local Rabbi who is a dear friend of mine.

Yes, like many good Jewish Rabbis, this fellow is a liberal, which means his child will mostly likely be as well. No, this is not a tragedy. A real tragedy is when a child is brought into this world without parents as wonderful as this young boy. He is too young to understand gambling games and game theory to know that he hit the jackpot in the parental department.

I have sat across from the Rabbi many times over dinner. Yes, he allows republicans into his home. We have debated the issues of the day, and while those debates are spirited, there is no acrimony. The others join in, some on my side, some on his side, and the evening ends with handshakes and hugs. On rare occasions, we are even on the same side, which we would never have found out if we did not engage each other in conversation.

I am not going to minimize politics. It is important. The disagreements are valid, and healthy. Yet those disagreements are the means, and the ends are the same. The goal is to make the world a better place. We want our children to grow up in a better world than we did.

Yes, there are bad things, and bad people, out there. The toughest job a parents has is balancing the appropriate level of paranoia. Parents worry every second of the day about their child, but they do not want the child to live in fear. Even as an adult, when I call and ask my dad how he is, he says he is fine, and that he is more worried about me.

This Rabbi took time to pray for my dad. He takes time for many people who need things from him. Whether it be a student complaining about how oppressive final exams are, or how their student romance is going, he listens and counsels. On the holidays, he might have an 85 year old congregant that has every ailment under the sun, and has been dying since 1937. He listens patiently. I know I would not have the patience. Yet this amount of patience is nothing compared to raising a child, because even the toughest congregants eventually leave his office. The family is always there.

This Rabbi has a healthy sense of balance. His child will not fall victim to the syndrome expressed beautifully by the late Harry Chapin (or for you young kids, rock band Ugly Kid Joe) in the song “Cats in the Cradle.”

“My child arrived just the other day…he came to the world in the usual way…but there were planes to catch, and bills to pay…he learned to walk while I was away.”

I have a deep respect for parents who have to be able to be away from their children in order to feed them. However, those who are there have the advantage. Showing up by itself is not enough, but it is a great start.

Parents are often powerless. They cannot make the schoolteachers be better. They cannot make every drug dealer in the world go to other neighborhoods. They certainly cannot improve the quality of television. They cannot prevent war.

Yet parents can play a vital role in making sure children are emotionally healthy and happy. My father and grandfather were both Holocaust survivors, yet when I was growing up, the biggest worries they expressed were my grades and the length of my hair (it is still too long for dad).

Even hiring a babysitter can be nervewracking. What if she turns out to be a CIA operative (stole that from an episode of “Falcon Crest,” another reason to watch television back then)? Every person that enters the home could be a potential threat. I mean what if they leave me alone with their child for five minutes while they answer the doorbell, and they come back to see me teaching the kid Reaganomics?

The most precious gift we have is life. It is not republican or democrat, but it is overwhelmingly beautiful. Newborn babies do not know how to hate. They only know how to return love, when that love is given.

This child is going to be well educated, well fed, and most importantly, given a set of values that would make any person proud. The child will be taught to love their neighbor, and they will be given beautiful religious traditions, all the while respecting others who hold different traditions.

As I said, I doubt I will agree any time soon with this Rabbi’s prescriptions for improving society. Yet this Rabbi has already bettered society by bringing children into this world. Some will say until the children are raised successfully, that society has not been improved. Given this Rabbi’s track record, I suspect society will be just fine.

May God Bless this new child that has entered the world. May his parents have many years of happiness and blessings. May the child be happy and healthy. Besides, who knows? When he becomes a teenager and rebels, he can always become a republican. I would be fine with that, provided he becomes the fine person I expect him to be. With parents like his, he is already off to a great start.

eric