Archive for March, 2009

Evan Sayet–Freedom to Laugh

Saturday, March 21st, 2009

Despite President Obama cracking down on dissent in ways that would make the Chinese government beam with pride, at this moment it is still legal to make jokes about the President.

Once a month, Evan Sayet performs a night of conservative comedy at the Laugh Factory.

A recent routine is below, along with his 2009 Heritage Foundation appearance.

“Michelle Obama was asked when life begins. According to her it’s when she and Barack take over the White House.”

“Jews were asked when life begins. For them it’s when they finally graduate medical school.”

“Tony Rezko and Bill Ayers should lead the Democratic Party. They are the only Democrats with any convictions.”

“What Democrats call ‘nuanced,’ most people refer to as ‘stupidity.'”

“Michelle Obama is like Janet Reno with a tan.”

“John McCain hears about Iran and pictures a noun. Barack Obama hears a two word verb.”

“Do we really need the ‘Vagina Monologues? I mean I think with my gonads, but they don’t talk.”

“I am tired of angry feminists. I like my women happy, gregarious…and bathed.”

“If men really were pigs, we would want women above the glass ceiling.”

“Barack Obama is so confused that that he recently mourned the passing of comedian Freddie Mac.”

“Academics act like they are important, but when something is academic it is meaningless. People say, ‘It’s academic, now let’s get work done.'”

“A xenophobe plays the race card, but right now we are down to two Jokers.”

“Barack Obama has raised tons of money. That is what he means by being green.”

“Liberals really do think the rest of us are stupid. Picture a leftist professor trying to inflict his world view on a poor conservative student.”

Student: “So again professor, I know you explained it, but how does 2 + 2 = 8?”

Professor: “Well, if you were not such a xenophobe, you would know that in French, 2 + 2 = deux es deux.

In sub-Saharan Africa, they developed ear infections from the French.

White Frenchman  gave black Africans ear problems. So sometimes they heard ‘Deux-e.’ Sometimes they heard ‘e-deux.’ Sometimes they heard ‘deux-deux.’

Deux-deux comes after eating and using the bathroom. So you cannot have deux-deux without having eaten-eaten. Eaten is the plural of ate.

Ipso-facto, you Nazi, racist clod, 2 + 2 = 8.”

“First there was racism. Then liberals created institutional racism and coded racism. You can only hear it with a dog whistle.”

“We are not imperialists. We don’t even try to take over Canada. It would be easy, although it might take a rear guard action to guard Anne Murray.”

“Between being politically correct, supporting social justice, social science, and fending off our image as cultural imperialists, we are getting to the point that Cleveland, Ohio will merely be known as ‘not beautiful.'”

“I thank Jimmy Brogan for that joke.”

“Jews don’t care about ancient rivalries. We worry about humidity in Miami.”

“Being in a room with 72 virgins is not paradise. They won’t know what to do. It’s like being in a room with 72 members of NOW.”

“Jews don’t need 72 virgins. We just want some from our wives.”

“Barack Obama says that we need to be humble toward terrorism. Yet he is the one we have been waiting for. That is humble?”

“Mitt Romney is a true Mormon. John Edwards and Bill Clinton are not real Mormons. It was not ‘Brigham Young’ they were chanting. It was ‘Bring ’em young.'”

“Jews are liberal because of circumcision. That makes you either always angry or very forgiving.”

“At the Olympics in China, every color was represented…and that was just the drinking water.”

As always, I wish Evan Sayet well. He is right. How could he not be. He agrees with me.


Jay Leno “Grills” Barack Obama

Friday, March 20th, 2009

Barack Obama claims that the world is crashing and we are in a depression. So he will go on Jay Leno to spread his platitudes. I guess Larry King was asleep.

If President Bush had done this while President during tough times, he would have been lambasted. I know this because he was lambasted for being a conservative and existing, breathing air all the time.

Jay Leno did point out the his own social studies teacher would be impressed with how he is doing today.

Also, Kevin does not wear a suit for just anybody.

The joke about how his life is like American Idol, except “now everybody is Simon Cowell” was funny.

The story about the Secret Servce was fine.

I have never claimed that President Obama was dislikable. I personally like him. I just disagree with his policies. I think he is in over his head, but am willing to wait and see.

They then got down to AIG. AIG is a great topic for President Obama because criticizing them is like criticizing people who kick puppies. They are an easy target.

He actually claimed it was the right thing to bail out AIG, without mentioning that President Bush and Hank Paulson made that decision (I disagreed with the decision). He is very good about deflecting blame on his predecessor but refusing to give the man an ounce of credit.

He made a joke at Hollywood’s expense, which is fine because they worship him.

He even claimed tat AIG made the right legal judgment, but the wrong “moral and ethical judgment.”

Huh? Companies have to follow the law. This is because liberals and trial lawyers sue everybody. I ell my own coworkers that when what is moral and what is legal are in direct conflict, always go by what is legal. Otherwise, resign. Muhammad Ali refused to serve in the military, but he was willing to go to jail for his beliefs. He made his moral stand. Companies cannot have all their personnel go to jail. They need to stay in business. This means following the law.

What’s worse, the same people crucifying AIG for bonuses are the ones that bailed them out in the first place. Do Barack Obama and Timothy Geithner not know how to structure a basic business agreement? Do they not have bankruptcy lawyers on the payroll? Jay Leno actually correctly pointed out that you can’t just tax people 0% ex-post facto “because you don’t like them.”

Barack Obama then went back into platitudes about horses, back in the barn, the 1990s, building foundations, etc. He truly says nothing.

Yet Jay Leno asked, “Shouldn’t somebody go to jail?”

Jay, only if they break the law. A flawed system is not justification.

Barack Obama even criticized credit card companies for fees that customers do not understand. How about customers just read the d@mn agreement?

He tried to compare it to the financial equivalent of a financial toaster exploding, but product liability has nothing to do with this.

He then offered his drivel about how he wants banks to succeed “because they are important to the financial system.”

Apparently he also believes that rackets are important to playing tennis.

He also claimed that the growth of the financial companies “was not real.” Why, because it went down? It went up in the 1990s. I thought everything about that decade was paradise.

“We don’t fully appreciate the plate that was handed him (Timothy Geithner).” Imagine President Bush saying that about Hank Paulson.

What is it about Republicans, that, like them or not, they shut up and do their jobs. Democrats need to announce how fabulous they are.

Barack Obama made me keel over when he said, “Everybody is looking for somebody to blame.”

Talk about the pot calling the kettle African-American. This guy is the blamer in Chief. Nothing is ever his fault. His predecessor is responsible for Armageddon if it happens, and if it doesn’t, it is because Mr. Obama saved us all.

His plan to separate good banks from bad banks was as substantive as his promise to go through the budget line by line and eliminate programs that do not work. So far, I am not sure he got rid of any programs, but perhaps he will find some run by Republicans and eliminate them.

Barack Obama is not a bad guy. He is just extremely self confident to the point of cockiness, without the result to back it up. Yes, he absolutely deserves time. However, he only risks his own legacy by talking himself up so high.

It is way too soon to say he has failed to deliver. However, if this were 1984, Clara Peller would be asking people “Where’s the beef?”

His rhetoric soars, but there is no there there. Yes, some people despise his predecessor so much that they will like Barack Obama just because he has a nice smile and good hair. Also, he has a “D” next to his name.

Yet it seems remarkably inconsistent that on the one hand we are in the midst of the next Great Depression (which is an outright lie), yet on the other hand he is laughing and joking with a late night comedian.

“Everybody should have complete confidence in the banks.”

What we lack is confidence in the Treasury Secretary.

Jay Leno asked, “How cool is it to fly on Air Force One?”

The only reason this question bothers me is because Republicans do not get these types of questions. I do not blame Barack Obama for this. The system is rigged in his favor, but he has every right to utilize that. It is the media that needs to one day show an ounce of balance.

Barack Obama is a great interviewee. However, most of his interviewers are terrible. Jay Leno was adequate, but he is a comedian. The problem is that the hard news anchors ask the ame questions.

I was genuinely amused when he said that as President, “he no longer gets hard fouls” when playing basketball.

Jay Leno was very funny when he asked the President if he picked the North Carolina Tar Heels to win the NCAA tournament because “North Carolina is a swing state.” I also picked North Carolina, showing that it takes no skill to pick the favorite.

The President was genuinely funny when he said that getting a dog for his daughters “was just a campaign promise.” His follow up of “if you want a friend in Washington, get a dog,” while not original, was funny.

Yet why, with limited airtime, is that even being asked?

Because Jay Leon is not the late Tim Russert, and the Late Show is not Meet the Press.

That is the problem. We shall see if he ever takes a tough question in his entire Presidency. More importantly, we shall see if he actually answers it.

The reason why Barack Obama is so dangerous is specifically because he is so incredibly likable.

This interview did nothing to change either of those attributes.


Fun with Al Sonja Schmidt

Thursday, March 19th, 2009

Several weeks go, at a conservative comedy night hosted by Evan Sayet, I had the pleasure of seeing one of Evan’s headliners, Al Sonja Schmidt.

Al Sonja Schmidt is a conservative comedian that happens to be a black woman. So how does a black woman become a Republican? Simple. She thinks for herself, and does not let society decide her beliefs.

Her comedy routine is below.

“I am not Michelle Obama. My face can crack a smile.”

“I refuse to be a liberal woman. I am pro-military, Pro-America…and pro-shaving.”

“Society has progressed so much. We have gone in several decades from the Marx Brothers to the White House run by a Marxist brother.”

“When I try to tell blacks that I ama  Republican, it is like trying to tell them about country music. It makes no sense.”

“My daughter is a liberal. Of course she is a liberal. She is 30 and she lives at home with me. She won’t even do laundry. She blames Bush.”

“Let me get this straight. I asked her, ‘Bush lied, so you can’t use Tide?'”

“Republicans see the cup as half full. Democrats see the cup as half empty, with people being entitled to a free refill provided the cup is biodegradable.”

“Global warming alarmists remind me of cannibals. Can you imagine global warming vegans? No meals for 30 years.”

“Have you heard there is now a white women’s movement? On dates, they want to pay their own way and work for everything they get and not rely ona  man. This movement already exists. It is called being a black woman.”

“Barack Obama is not an elitist. He likes his daily arugula smoothie like everybody else.”

“Can you imagine what would happen to Barack Obama if his teleprompter broke? He would be like…’Yes we…ummm…hope?'”

“Barack Obama is not a politician. He is a religion. People donate to politicians. They tithe to Obama.”

The best part of her act is when she sings about Barack Obama campaigning to the tune of “What a wonderful world this would be.”

“Don’t know much about geography…holes missing in my biography…

What a wonderful race this has been.”

She does the entire song, and she does it well.

She is a delightful and funny woman. Check out her act.


My Interview With Bernie Goldberg

Wednesday, March 18th, 2009

I had the pleasure recently of interviewing Bernie Goldberg.

Bernie Goldberg is the author of several bestsellers, including “Bias,” and “100 People Who Are Screwing Up America.” He eventually added more people, and a reprint of the book upped the list to 110 people. His newest book chronicles the mainstream media’s open and unapologetic cheerleading for Barack Obama to win the White House. The book is entitled “A Slobbering Love Affair,” and it is a must read.

I met Bernie Goldberg recently at the Nixon Library. He was very friendly, and agreed to an interview without hesitation. Although I was willing to do the interview by email to give him time, he liked the challenge of a rapid fire session over the telephone. It makes sense that a man who constantly criticizes journalists for shying away from tough questions and controlled settings would be willing to take a risk himself.

Bernie Goldberg is a proud Jewish Conservative. Like me, he does not shy away from controversy. The conversation lasted about 25 minutes, with none of it wasted. Yet at no time during the interview did he mention that he has won Nine…yes nine…Emmy awards for writing journalism, and political coverage. The truly best do not have to announce their accomplishments. I only found out about his achievements because I did what people are supposed to do…research.

Also, in the past he appeared with Jane Hall of American University on “The O’Reilly Factor”  in a weekly segment. While Ms. Hall appears less often, Bernie Goldberg still makes periodic appearances.

With that, I present my interview with the wise, witty, and spot on accurate Bernie Goldberg.

1) Does the media get anything right? Are they good at anything, and if so, what?

BG: “I am not making a blanket indictment of all journalists all the time. They are not engaged in a conspiracy. They are engaged in something worse, and that is groupthink. Groupthink is worse because it institutionalizes biases. Conservatives looking for a conspiracy will not find one.

Some journalists do or did a great job. Tim Russert of Meet the Press, rest his soul, was very fair.

The media are at their worst when it comes to social issues. Social issues are near and dear to liberals’ hearts, so they don’t see biases. They see their views as reasonable. Anything liberal is the center, and anything in the real center is described as being on the right.”

2) Who are your three journalistic heroes?

BG: “I don’t have journalistic heroes. I think heroes are for kids. As I said, Tim Russert was great. As hard as I am on him, what I give Dan Rather credit for is that he has covered every major story since JFK. He does have courage. He goes to the dangerous places to cover news. The reason he is not on this list is because of his problem. He does not take serious criticism seriously.

If we can expand the list beyond journalists, I like Charles Krauthammer. He is great. Brett Stephens of the Wall Street Journal does good work. For hard news, Jack Taperow of ABC News does the job well.”

3) Since you put out the list, if you could add to it, who else is screwing up America?

BG: “Excellent question. I am glad you asked that. Right now, at number freaking one, would be the District Attorney in the Duke rape case, Mike Nifong. Race is way too sensitive to fool around with. He did it for the worst reasons, to get reelected. At the time I wrote the book, I had Michael Moore at number one. However, if I were writing the book today, he would not be number one. My lists are based on time periods, and Michael Moore would be lower on the list now. Mike Nifong is simply a villain. He is a major villain.

There is one guy on MSNBC…I don’t want to mention his name, but he is angry and meanspirited. He brings people down when they see him, whether it be in real life or even on television. As I said, I am sure you can figure out a clever way to mention Keith Olbermann without me having to mention his name. It is not about being liberal. He is just plain nasty.”

4) Who are some people that are good for America?

BG: “People we don’t know. One man I admire is Aaron Feuerstein. He is an Orthodox Jew that owned Malden Mills in Massachusetts. When a fire burned Malden Mills to the ground, he kept the plant open and kept all of his employees on the payroll.

There is a Jewish group that collects money for Scandinavians who helped save lives during the Holocaust. Imagine being an elderly person, and then finding out that people you helped a half of a century ago are helping you in your golden years.

There are many good people. We don’t know them, but they make the world a better place.”

5) When Hamas and Fatah are fighting, I find it very difficult to take sides. I want them both to lose. In the same vein, who are you siding with between liberal democrats Jon Stewart and Jim Cramer?

BG: “Jim Cramer. Cramer got a big call very wrong. Yet even many big conservative financial institutions got it wrong. Lots of people got it wrong. I know plenty of people who got it wrong. Cramer is one of them, but he is public.

Also, this was a cheap shot by Jon Stewart. Stewart waited until after Cramer criticized Barack Obama. I have met Jon Stewart twice. He is very polite, very civil, and very liberal.

Cramer is one of many that got it wrong, but because he is public, he takes it between the eyeballs.”

6) Who are your three political heroes, be they American or global?

BG: “Tony Blair is one. He was courageous. He spoke eloquently, especially on saying that it was impossible for people to say that with regards to Muslim terrorists, even though they disapproved of the violence, that ‘they understood.’ That is contradictory, and Blair pointed this out brilliantly.

Newt Gingrich is one of the smartest people with regards to his ideas, but he could not win election to the Presidency. He has too much baggage. However, he is a real thinker.

Bill Bennett is another one. I like smart conservatives. I like the ones that are civil, decent, and listen to the other side. Charles Krauthammer, who I have mentioned more than once, is fabulous. He was a licensed psychiatrist, and he was the one who coined the term ‘Bush Derangement Syndrome.'”

7) If you had five minutes to talk to President George W. Bush or Vice President Dick Cheney, what would you say to them or ask them?

BG: “I would ask President Bush, with regard sto the Iraq War, ‘Was it worth it? Could we have contained Saddam?’ We have 4000 dead Americans, and President Bush’s popularity fell so low that it allowed Democrats to take over and shove their liberal agenda down our throats. If we could have contained Saddam Hussein, that might have been better for us economically, and President Bush would have had higher popularity. He would have been more beloved, which would have prevented the loss of Congress and the White House. So I would ask him today if based on everything, if he felt the Iraq War was worth it.”

8.) Where do you see the media in twenty years, and what role will the blogosphere play? Will the Jayson Blair Times even exist in twenty years?

BG: “The mainstream media will continue to become less and less relevant. Their problem is that they refuse to be introspective. I have said before that the guys at 7/11 selling Slurpees and Camels to insomniacs are more introspective than the mainstream media. The internet and cable television are killing newspapers and broadcast news.

I would be amazed if three evening newscasts even existed in the future. Newspapers in their current form may not exist in two years, much less twenty years. This is mainly due to technology, but also due to ideology.

As for the web, the best and the most vile journalism can be found on the web. The bad part is that people think that they can be nasty and vile, and that they do not have to do any research. If the worst of the web takes hold, it will be like hell. It will be the dark corner of a lunatic asylum.

I hope that growing pains allow those relying on anonymity to grow up.

As for the New York Times, Bill O’Reilly thinks it will be gone in a year. I am going to boldly say that they will still exist in twenty years. They may not exist in the same format, but to the consternation of conservatives, I am predicting that they will survive.”

9) Given that all conservatives must be categorized as either evil, or as complete imbeciles, with President George W. Bush somehow being both, I want to know about a conspiracy that might involve you since at some point you might become a target. I will just ask. She has not been on O’Reilly lately. What have you done to Jane Hall?

BG: “I will answer that off the record. I will tell you the story, but off the record.”

(What I can say without revealing anything Bernie Goldberg told me is that Jane Hall is alive and well. Therefore, I will not be sending Angela Lansbury or Andy Griffith to his house to investigate. At the risk of being almost as lazy as a mainstream journalist on the nightly news, I am exonerating him and declaring this matter closed.)

10) How would you like to be remembered 100 years from now? What would you want people to say about Bernie Goldberg the person?

BG: “I was an honest critic of the profession that I spent my entire adult life in. I had courage. I wrote things that put me in jeopardy.

My advice to people is to do something you believe in just once in your life and you will feel better about yourself. You don’t have to do it every week, or even twice in your life. Just do what you deeply believe at least once in your life.

In 1996, I wrote an op-ed about media bias. It changed my life, thankfully for the better.

I was an honest reporter who gave both sides a fair shot. I was an honest critic as well. I was a critic whose criticism of the media showed more than anything else how much i cares for my profession.

I meant well, and tried to do the right thing. I had courage. I hope people say that I stood up, did what I thought was right, and made the profession better for it.”

I would like to thank Bernie Goldberg for his time. I am occasionally in his stomping grounds of Miami, and at some point I look forward to meeting him again.

Until I am a regular guest on O’Reilly myself, I will happily declare his best guest segments to be the ones where the mainstream media is given their Castor Oil by Bernie Goldberg.

They may never learn, but he is absolutely right to keep speaking out.

My friends and I will also be extending an invitation for him to join our unofficial group, the Zionist Crusader Alliance For World Domination. We don’t actually do anything but sit and talk politics and football, but we are nominating Sir Charles of Krauthammer to lead the group.

Regardless of whether or not our membership increases by 33%, I will say that Bernie Goldberg is good for America, and great for his industry.

I wish him well always.


More hate mail from leftists gone wild

Tuesday, March 17th, 2009

The Tygrrrr Express is leaving Los Angeles for a few days, bound for New York today. A couple of days later will be a Thursday trip to Atlanta. That 24 hour pit-stop will be followed by several days in South Florida. My relationship with the Sacramento Queen prevents me from going completely crazy in South Beach, but I have more than fulfilled my quota of Spring Break fun over the years.

In addition to partying in Miami, the Republican Jewish Coalition Leadership has their quarterly meeting in Fort Lauderdale. Some political heavyweights will be there.

Of course, South Florida also means mom and dad. It is nice to be around people that care about me. Until then, it is time to open up the hate mail bag and expose some more liberals gone wild.

It is possible for somebody to be a political liberal, or even a political leftist, without being hateful.

I know this seems hard to believe. After all, like Palestinians, liberals seem to be born angry, live that way, and die that way.

I received some more hate mail from a pair of leftists.

I contact many people. I send out mass emails. This is legal.

Some people have road rage. Other people have air rage. Yet others have telemarketer rage. With some people, it is email rage.

I do not expect the world to agree with me. They have a right to be wrong. I just expect civility and politeness.

If somebody does not want to be contacted by me, I immediately remove them from the list.

Yet this nonsensical notion that I have “no right” to contact them is false. I have every right to contact people. Yet once they express to me that the contact is undesired, then the onus is on me to honor their request. On the rare occasions I failed to remove someone, it was an accident, and I profusely apologized.

I do have people ask me to remove them. Yet more often than not, people thank me for contacting them, and tell me that they like what I have to say. Some people forward my email to their friends. In some cases, their friends contact me and tell me that they heard about me through a friend, and want to hear more.

That is what marketing is all about. Everybody sells.

Now onto a pair of people that decided to unload as only a hateful person could.

Mr. Sean O’Neill needed expletives to get his point across. I altered his expletive ever so slightly since I abhor foul language.

“Who the f*ck are you and why are you sending me emails?  Take me off your mailing list.”

I responded in kind.

“Your request to take me off of your list is reasonable. Your hostility, incivility, and cursing are not reasonable.

I don’t care how many emails you get. No excuses. Your attitude screws up the entire world.

I had a right to contact you, you had a right to ask me not to do so again.

I will absolutely remove you, but be a better person in the future.

eric aka the Tygrrrr Express”

Naturally, he consulted his God of liberalism, and denied himself the chance for growth.
“You ‘had a right’ to contact me?  How?  I definitely didn’t sign up for any of your SPAM.  ‘Be a better person’?? Am I supposed to fellate every clown on the internet who thinks his thoughts are worth spamming to hundreds of people? Perhaps you should step off your pedestal and go F*CK yourself.  Meanwhile, I will happily continue screwing up the entire world with my bad attitude.
S, aka anti-semitic commie socialist pinko leftist fag-loving feminazi f*ck”

I do not recall ever asking Sean O’Neill to fellate me. I can refer him to Barney Frank. For those who think I took a cheap shot, shut up. Barney Frank is gay. Gay guys fellate other gay guys. I am not condemning this, just pointing out that I do not fellate guys. Also, only a leftist would wear his anti-Semitism like a badge of honor. I never brought that issue up. He did.

Sean O’Neill was significantly worse than Robin27095, but she was nasty as well.

She asked to be taken off the list. I did. I used to let people know I removed them, but decided along the line that sending another email was overkill. So I just remove them, and they see that they do not hear from me again.

If somebody wants me to email them, I add them to my inbox so that the spamblocker does not inconvenience them. Yet if they want to be removed, I do not add them, because it makes no sense to add somebody I will not be corresponding with again. Those capable of logical reasoning understand this.

Instead, Robin felt the need to contact me a second time.

“You twit.   You send out unsolicited email but you don’t take replies.

Take me off your distribution list NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How did you get my email??”

Angry leftists love capital letters and multiple explanation points.

I offered her my explanation.

“1) I DID get your first email.
2) I DID remove you from the list after I got your first email.
3) People who want to stay on the list get added to my inbox list of contacts.
4) People who want off the list do not get added to my inbox list of contacts because that would be pointless since we will not be corresponding again.
5) You overreacted and resorted to insults, which tells me you are most likely a liberal.

Liberals look for any excuse or perceived slight to lash out at conservatives.

I don’t expect you to apologize for your behavior. Again, you are a liberal, which means that civility towards conservatives is not necessary.

Don’t bother learning from this experience. Keep misjudging people. Otherwise you might accidentally improve the world.

eric aka the Tygrrrr Express”

Naturally she failed to learn from her rudeness.

“You are an @ss.  You don’t even know what ‘no reply’ emails you are sending out.  And I NEVER asked to be on YOUR distribution list.”

I redacted the bad word, but let me assure the world that I know exactly what “no reply” is. It is a song by Phil Collins.

Had this woman simply asked me to be removed and let it go, all she had to do was say the word. No, not “Sussudio,” the other word or set of words.

I did remove her, and she felt the need to lash out anyway.

Had she asked me to fellate her, I would have explained that I was in a relationship, but that had she asked me last month I would have requested pictures first.

Another fellow named MaxNam did not curse, but he resorted to the typical tried and true smugness. Either conservatives are evil, dumb, or both.

“My question to you is; Where did you get my e-mail address?  I read what you wrote. Nothing about what you said seems rational to me.  Don’t you realize that most of the citizens of the U.S. favor the positions taken by our new President and are thoroughly disgusted by what the conservative  Bush administration did to our beloved country? You must be one who simply does not comprehend how pathetic your appeal appears to someone like me.”

So because I view the world differently from this fellow, I am irrational. I cannot comprehend what he can. Oh, and my appeal is pathetic.
These people wake up in the morning, and they simply cannot get through the day without hate.

I told a friend of mine that for eight years, the entire existence of the Democratic Party was based on the hatred of one man, George W. Bush. My friend insisted that once President Bush left, the Democrats would calm down.

Nonsense. Whether Newt Gingrich or George W. Bush, Democrats cannot be for anything. They can only be against. They control all the levers of power, and they desperately need a conservative to despise. Rush Limbaugh filled the bill, but given that he has no policy role, Eric Cantor is becoming a new bogeyman. Unless Eric Cantor wants to be seen as evil personified, he had better become ineffective in a hurry.

Hatred is all they have. It is easier to hate than focus on something resembling an actual policy.

These are liberals. This is how they behave.


Robin Williams, Meet First Lady Barbara Bush

Monday, March 16th, 2009

One of the things that I tell people is that I separate my politics from my sports, music, and comedy.

I could care less what any athletes, musicians or comedians think about politics. However, I will not boycott them unless they are vicious or hateful. I judge them only by their ability in their profession.

I bring this up because two people that I have deep admiration for are comedian Robin Williams and former First Lady Barbara Bush.

I have always admired Barbara Bush. I voted for her husband and her son, but always thought she was the best of the bunch.

She was the tough old battleax in the mold of Elaine Stritch. Yet beneath all that discipline, somehow she remained likable.

Long before Hillary Clinton began her plan to take over America in 1992, Barbara Bush was asked why she did not communicate her views on abortion more forcefully to her husband. It seemed that they disagreed on the issue. She responded by saying, “I’m not the President.”

Yet she was not docile. When Her husband jumped out of an airplane to reenact his World War II jump, he found the thrill exhilarating. When family spokesman and former press secretary Marlin Fitzwater was asked if there would be another jump, he replied, “No. Barbara won’t allow it.”

She is such an earnest woman. About a year ago she and her husband were speaking to reporters, one of the few times they did after they left office. After forgetting some words, Barbara Bush, without hesitation said, “We’re old now. We forget stuff.”

When the twins got in trouble, they were sent to their grandmother’s house for the weekend. For most kids this would be a reward or an escape. Not these twins. I am sure some paint peeled off of the wall. They straightened up pretty quickly.

Yet this same woman who could be that tough let slip to reporters that she was delighted that her son, who himself was a handful growing up, was now having to deal with his own children misbehaving.

She also left the White House feeling a sense of peace. She moved back to Texas, and had no regrets. She did not need political power.

Barbara Bush is a woman I admire because she was always comfortable with herself. She let her hair turn white. She did not color it, even though people felt that people would think that her husband was her son.

Her white hair led her to become the target of a joke by comedian Robin Williams.

“President George Herbert Walker Bush has only been President a few short months, and already he has managed to put his wife on the dollar Bill.”

The “Barbara Bush looks like George Washington” crack became a staple of Williams’s routine.

This is where I separate my politics from my comedy.

I do not agree at all with the politics of Robin Williams. He is a staunch liberal.

Yet in terms of comed, the man is a genius. I rate him as the greatest comedian of all time. Of every comedian, he is the very best.

He is so lightning quick. I will never forget when a woman in the audience went to the ladies room, and he quickly left the stage, went into the audience, and took her fur coat. When she came back, she could not find it. She looked on stage and saw him prancing around, with her fur coat draped on him like the local pimp on the street corner.

As for comic genius, his closest resemblance to Barbara Bush came when he turned into “Mrs. Doubtfire.”

His three minute routine about Scottish people and golf still brings me laughter to the point of tears.

Yet it is more than a joke that links these two people.

They both had to face a serious health matter in March of 2009.  They both needed heart surgery.

My father had heart surgery twice. There is nothing funny about it. Yet he came through it at age 48, and again in 2007 at age 66. He is hanging in there.

I truly believe that some things are more than coincidental. Maybe it is a God with a sense of humor, but even for those that do not believe in God, I just cannot chalk it up to chance.

A fabulous comedian and a fabulous First Lady will hopefully both be with us for a long time to come.

I wish good health to Barbara Bush and Robin Williams.


The Eyes Have It

Sunday, March 15th, 2009

It is one thing to say something behind a man’s back. It is another to look into a man’s eyes.

When members of Congress debate legislation, and it passes, we are told that “the ayes have it.” Yet unfortunately, too many people voting with the ayes do not look at the people that they portend to help. They do not look into their eyes.

So many people across politics, sports, music, and other facets of life communicate without even needing words. Just look into their eyes. The message is crystal clear. While I never wish to imply that being an actor or an athlete is as consequential as defending and protecting America, there is a certain fierceness and seriousness of purpose that allow some to reach true levels of greatness in whatever they do.

Starting with acting, I have always admired Dennis Farina.

In 1985 and 1986, he played Lieutenant Michael Torello on a brilliant crime drama known as “Crime Story.” On Tuesday nights, I begged my dad to let me stay up late to watch it. I am still amazed to this day that the show only lasted two seasons. Torello grappled with Crime Boss Ray Luca in 1963 Chicago, and followed him all the way to Las Vegas and Latin America in 1964.

Ray Luca had a temper. When one of his lawyers tried to bring up a jurisdictional issue, Luca shot back, “Do I look lost?!!” The attorney calmly replied, “No. You look angry.”

The reason for Luca’s worry was because he knew not to underestimate Torello. Perhaps Farina played the role so well because he was a real life Chicago cop before turning to acting. In one scene, Luca is calling out for his henchman, “Paulie, I thought I told you to buy cheaper meat.” Torello then walks in the room, dumps Paulie on the table in front of Luca, and says, “You can’t get any cheaper than this.”

One of the very best scenes was when Torello has Prosecutor David Abrams hand Luca an injunction banning him from his own casinos. An angry Luca tries to throw the injunction in Abrams’s face, saying, “The hell I am banned!”

Torello takes over. “The hell you’re not! One step Ray…one step, into your own casino, to count your own money, drink your own booze, or bop one of your own broads, and you’re going to the joint! You want to start something tough guy? Start something with me.”

Neither man backed down, but when a subordinate mentioned to Luca that “Torello is a punk. He’s nothing.” Luca knew better. He calmly told the subordinate, “Torello is no punk. Try looking into his eyes some time.”

While Robert Deniro has the famous faces and stares, I still think Dennis Farina, from Crime Story to his stint on Law and Order, was a master at letting his eyes do the talking. That stare was real.

In real life, our soldiers capture my attention. It is one thing to carp from the sidelines. Look them dead in the face. Tell them what you feel. Then listen to them. Their presence is compelling.

The War on Terror is an ongoing struggle. It is the determination to win this war that turned me from a casual admirer to a defender forever of President George W. Bush.

This is not about politics for me, although many of his critics let their politics prevent them from even showing him the slightest amount of humanity and decency. When he picked up the bullhorn on September 14th, 2001, I saw his goodness. On September 20th, 2001, his speech to Congress was when I saw greatness.

The reason why I love this man is simple. I looked into his eyes when he spoke, and I believed him. His sincerity never left him. In his final speech, he looked into the camera and said, “Some people went back to normal after 9/11. I never did.”

It is not about uttering powerful words. It is about sincerity. His predecessor and his successor are both more eloquent. Yet eloquence is no substitute for being heartfelt. Some people said stuff. He actually meant it. That shines through.

That is why, long after the irrelevant ones disappear, Ronald Reagan remains revered. “Tear down this wall,” was not a slogan or a platitude. It changed the world. Look at a videotape, and look in Reagan’s eyes when he delivers that line.

On a lighter political note, one set of political eyes that I will never forget is that of a Florida judge whose name I do not even recall. During the 2000 recount, one judge was so exhausted that his eyes bulged out when looking at a ballot. That look was lampooned on a potato chip commercial. The recount ended, and that Florida judge had his eyes put back in the sockets, similar to when cartoon characters expand and contract. The moment was lighthearted, but the context was significant.

Toughness is not just as simple as acting. It is also not as vital as issues of war and peace. Yet somewhere in between comes the world of sports.

Various eyes have lit up photographs forever. In baseball, Carlton Fisk hit the winning home run and then gazed at it, not in ego, but in wonder. Although that was only game 6, and his team would lose game 7, it remains a classic photo.

In hockey, Mark Messier was the heart and soul of the New York Rangers. Trailing the New Jersey Devils 3 games to 2, and on the road, Messier guaranteed victory in game 6. He then went out and delivered, becoming a one man ice equivalent of a wrecking crew. Down 2-0, and later 2-1, Messier scored 3 goals himself in the final period for a 4-2 win. After the Rangers won game 7, and then won an epic 7 game finals against the Vancouver Canucks, it was Messier looking into the camera that solidified the moment. He vowed. He delivered.

Yet a bigger hockey moment would be the 1980 Miracle on Ice at the Olympics in New York. Yes, the USA beat the Russians. Al Michaels asked if we believed in miracles. We did. Yet the sight of every American player trying to get on the stage was a sight. The Russian players looked on in amazement. The eyes of every player on both sides showed the world that something far more significant than sports had just happened.

Many people forget that the game was only the semifinals. In the finals the USA defeated Finland. Before the game, American Coach Herb Brooks showed the most powerful eyes in hockey history. He told his players before the game that, “If you lose this game, you’ll take it to your graves…your f*cking graves.”

Basketball conjured up only one man…Michael Jordan. Some say it was the flu, but others said it was food poisoning from a bad slice of pizza. Either way, a wobbly Jordan could barely walk in game 5 of the 1997 NBA Finals against the Utah Jazz. During breaks, Scottie Pippen would towel off Jordan’s head. With the game tied 85-85, Jordan got the ball and launched a 3 point shot with seconds remaining. Nothing but net. The announcer said the phrase that was said so many times when talking about Michael Jordan.

“There’s the dagger!”

Jordan collapsed on the bench, and put his head on Pippen’s shoulders. The Bulls won the championship in 6 games, and even more amazingly, in 6 appearances in the finals, the Bulls never lost. “The dagger” may have been the clutch shots, but I maintain that Michael Jordan had a pair of daggers where most people have eyes. I have never seen another athlete with a will to win that intense. Tiger Woods in golf and Pete Sampras in tennis have come very close, but Michael Jordan truly stood alone. His stare penetrated before his shot.

Yet the toughest game has to be football. Mike Singletary is legendary on film. The famous photo of the Chicago Bears defensive standout breathing cold air, staring down an overmatched opponent, was epic. I still remember him screaming, “We’re gonna be here all day baby! I like this kind of party!” He eventually went on to Coach the San Francisco 49ers. Make no mistake about it. The players know the coach is in charge.

Dick Butkus was famous for his bloody hands and hard hits. Yet Singletary had the eyes. Only one other player comes close. That is middle linebacker Ray Lewis of the Baltimore Ravens.

He dances before the game, and he screams intently, at his own teammates as well as the opponents. Before every game, he asks his teammates, “Any dogs in the house?!!!” They all bark back in unison. He instills fear from the opening snap. I have only seen one player ever truly get in his face. I still remember the playoff game between the Tennessee Titans and Baltimore Ravens.

“Ray Lewis is in Eddie George’s face, and Eddie George isn’t backing down!”

The Titans won that game, but when told about how tough Eddie George was (the two players tangled many times and had a deep mutual respect for each other), Ray Lewis reminded the sports reporters and America watching that, “Yeah, that play was a three yard loss for him.”

Very little in music approaches the visual intensity of sports. While rock music can be intense, pop music is often fluff. Either way, music is more auditory than visual, even with videos playing a role.

Yet the power of the eyes can translate into powerful music. Kylie Minogue sings, “It’s in your eyes.”

Jeff Healey is a blind guitarist. He sings about “Angel Eyes.” Yet blindness does not diminish his swagger. His other song that got airplay was “Confidence man.” “I can talk old ladies out of all their money, talk young girls into calling me honey, you know my love, is just a flim flam…yet you can’t pull the wool over me, cause I’m a confidence man.”

Slyvester Stallone will forever be famous for being Rocky Balboa, but even his intense stare had considerable help from rock group Survivor. The story about never giving up or giving in gets off to a rocking start from the first notes. Victory then awaits the person that has the “Eye of the Tiger.” Later on in Stallone’s career, he was an arm wrestler that would not give in. His look was amplified by Sammy Hagar singing “Winner Takes it all” in the movie “Over the Top.”

Third Eye Blind brought us “Semi-Charmed Life.” “I want something else, to get me through this, semi-charmed kind of life.”

Peter Gabriel gave an understated performance of “In your eyes,” for the movie “Say Anything.”

Aerosmith also did a powerful song called “Angel Eyez,” for one of their many movie soundtracks. Steven Tyler and Joe Perry have long been known for their facial reactions, especially Tyler. The word “eye” is often his battle cry, although it comes in the form of “ayayayayayayayayayay.” It sounds like Chasidic Jews chanting, although either louder or not as loud depending on the holiday or celebration.

For pure rock music, Def Leppard offers the most intense staredown with the song “Mirror Mirror.”

“Take a look into my eyes…tell me what you see…tell me is it true…when I look at you…tell me is it me…mirror mirror.” The song fades out with lead singer Joe Elliott crooning over and over again “take a look into my eyes.”

As for me, this Tygrrr once offered the song “Eyes of Rain.” A completely fictional (I wonder where these visions come from) story of a broken relationship descending into rage and violence (again, fictional thank God), it leads the story teller to lament, “Eyes of Rain…love is so insane.”

For those who care, he catches her with somebody else. At first he debates whether to kill her or kill himself in front of her. Instead he decides to destroy all their property so that they could both sit and see everything they ever worked for become rubble. I swear, in a past life, I had it bad.

I think about all of this because my first week in college brought conflict. A guy accused me of calling him a “d*ck” behind his back. I looked straight in his eyes and told him that I would never say something behind somebody’s back. I was a standup guy. I would say it to their face. Three times he made the allegation, and finally I told him for one last time that I would only say something like that to a guy’s face. He asked me how he could be sure I was telling the truth. I loudly replied, with everybody watching, “Simple, because you’re a d*ck!”

When all was said and done, his attempt to get me to back down was not happening. I knew everything was ok when I overheard him talking to his friends.

I doubt they watched Crime Story, but when one of them pointed out that I was no big deal, one of the other guys had another take on the matter. “Did you look in his eyes? He’s crazy. That guy doesn’t give a f*ck. I would stay out of his way.”

Like many people in this world, I doubt one word I said that night had any impact. The words were just icing on a cake made of ice itself.

He got my message. He looked into my eyes.


Wit and Wisdom from Big Daddy Wayne

Saturday, March 14th, 2009

At the Laugh Factory several weeks ago, I had the pleasure of seeing Jeff “Big Daddy” Wayne.

Evan Sayet does the monthly “Right to Laugh” conservative comedy night, and on this night Big Daddy Wayne was the emcee.

For those who are fans of 1980s rap music, that is not him. You are thinking of Big Daddy Kane. His hit rap album was entitled “It’s a Big Daddy Thing.”

Anyway, back to Jeff Wayne. His routine is below.

“People who support illegal immigration say that walls don’t work. Look at the Great Wall of China. It’s worked for 2000 years.”

“I say we should fill the Rio Grande with battery acid and crocodiles.”

“Why did I vote for McCain? My first four choices didn’t make it.”

“John Edwards said he saw two Americas. I saw two John Edwards’s.”

“Look at a battle between Clinton and Edwards. That is like the death penalty versus life reassignment.”

“I looked at the Statue of Liberty the other day. The inscription said that we have enough tired, poor people.”

“Nancy Pelosi should have been burnt at the stake 200 years ago.”

“Of course Yogi Bear was a liberal. He lived in a park, stole picnic baskets, and had boo boo as his companion.”

“The Care Bears…they were definitely liberals.”

“Smokey the Bear was absolutely a liberal. He had a cushy government job. All he did was walk around all day and tell people not to start fires.”

“Imagine corporations marketing products to help us reduce crime. Westinghouse electric chairs…’It’s Westinghouse, it works.'”

“More people have died in Ted Kennedy’s car than from a U.S. nuclear reactor.”

“I have nothing against lesbians. They like some of the same things I do.”

“My mom calls the Speaker of the House Nancy Lugosi.”

“I want government out my pockets, and government out my bedroom. With this government, I have nothing in my pockets, and I have nothing in my bedroom.”

“Of course Democrats should tax porn. That’s their base.”

For those of you that have not had a chance to see him perform, do so. Big Daddy rocks the house.


Avoidance Friday

Friday, March 13th, 2009

Yes, today will be one of those days where I talk about what I don’t talk about, and then talk about it.

Huh? yeah, I confused myself with that one.

Before talking about what I am not talking about, awhile ago David Letterman was about to interview Bill O’Reilly. Before O’Reilly came out, Letterman told Paul Schaffer that he was not sure he could the interview. Paul asked him what the problem was. Dave replied as only he does.

“Well I don’t think he knows what he is talking about. Yet I know that I don’t know what I am talking about. So if he doesn’t know what he’s talking about, and I don’t know what I am talking about, what do we talk about?”

The bottom line is I freely admit to knowing nothing about virtually everything. I know a few things, and I know them cold, with much of life being a mystery to me.

It is for this reason that I deliberately avoid certain topics on my blog. I simply have nothing new in terms of information or fresh perspective to add to the discussion.

Therefore, I will give several stories short shrift.

I have said nothing about the whole Bernie Madoff thing. I feel the way many people do. He is a horrible man. Jews do not believe in hell, but if we did, there would be a special place there for him. He might be the most hated prisoner since Jeffrey Dahmer. Whatever bad things happen to Madoff, I will not lose sleep. I hope his wife and sons are held accountable.

As a Jew I am disgusted. Yet I am also relieved that most of his victims were Jews. Had he defrauded Christians or Muslims, I would be witnessing more stories abut greedy merchants, bankers, and moneylenders, aka attacks on Jews. I hope this does not lead to physical violence against Jews.

As a financial services professional I reject the notion that every stockbroker is a crook. I am an honest man who leads a clean life. I believe that Wall Street can be a force for good, and that a good financial professional can be as valuable to a person as their medical, legal accounting, and clergy person. With Wall Street under the gun, guys like Madoff are made out to be the rule and not the exception.

Lastly, people who say that Madoff did more to hurt the Jews than Hitler need to knock it off. No, he did not. Madoff did terrible things, and caused immense suffering. Hitler was far worse, and the hyperbole is insulting to people who faced the Holocaust.

Shifting gears in a most maladroit manner, Bristol Palin is now single.

If she and I are both single in five years, I will absolutely make an attempt, unless her mother Sarah is also single, at which point I will hit on them both, mom first.

Lustiness aside, the breakup of any relationship is tragic. Bristol Palin seems like a kind human being, and her pain should not be trivialized. Also, she is not a politician. She is a private citizen, and the media cruelty towards her is disgusting, and another example of ideological bigotry. The media was right to leave the son of Al Gore alone when he got drunk and drove a car into a tree. They were right to leave Joe Biden’s offspring alone. Bristol Palin is not a public figure, and her harshest critics should be violated by elephants.

I stayed far away from the Chas Freeman story. His final screed after withdrawing his name from a sensitive intelligence post was to blame the Jews. Yes, this guy is an anti-Semite. While I still maintain that President Obama is not an anti-Semite, his decency as a human being is being compromised by doing a terrible job vetting people.

Yes, the man is busy. Yes, some things have to be delegated. However, the buck stops with him. He needs to go to the people that nominated Mr. Freeman, and yell at them until paint peels off of the wall. Maybe he is already doing that. Nevertheless, men like Chas Freeman cannot be noninated for anything.

Even liberal Jews opposed him. Granted they did it quietly behind the scenes, but for once they sides with Republican Jews over their liberal friends that repeatedly throw them under the bus. As I said before, if it was not for Republican Jews doing the heavy lifting, liberal Jews would not be free to laugh and smile with their fake leftist brethren.

One story I have not covered ata ll is Chesney “Sully” Sullenberger. I will sometime soon, but every time I hear him tell his story, I get choked up. Thank God for this man. As awful as Bernie Madoff is, Sully Sullenberger is that far the polar opposite. To save a life is to save the world. I will have more down the line.

Switching to sports, I am not covering March Madness. I can’t stand Dick Vitale, and even when I pick the team that wins it, I lose anyway. I now refuse to join pools. Also, any school that does not tell me what state the school is in by their name should be banned. I know where Georgia Tech and Mississippi State are. Where the heck is Valparaiso? I am sure that is a made up school.

As for baseball season, unless the players go on strike, I remain bored. They should double the salaries of NFL players and have two seasons every year. Give them a month off, and let them do it again. I liked the USFL, and rooted for the Oakland Invaders and Oklahoma Outlaws. Had the USFL stayed playing in the Spring, they may have made it. It has been a long 25 years since.

Tiger Woods is back playing golf. Golf makes baseball seems interesting. That concludes my golf report.

In music news, the golden age of rock music was from 1986-1992. There has been music since then. I may have even heard it. Outside of those 80s bands still putting out new music, I remain oblivious. I recently learned of the Jonas brothers, but have no idea who or what they are. I only mentioned them to drive blog traffic, although I am sure they are nice boys worthy of the mention.

For the same reason, Chris Brown and Rihanna are mentioned this one time. As comedian Nick Dipaolo points out, guys named Brown are just trouble. Between James Brown, Jackson Brown, Bobby Brown, and now Chris Brown, not to mention various bad deeds caused by players on the Cleveland Browns (I threw that last one in), this was to be expected.

I am a dinosaur. I do not Google or Twitter myself, even in private. It just sounds inappropriate, especially for a Republican. Granted a Senator named Vitter got in trouble last year, and Vitter rhymes with Twitter, but even that does not change the fact that I officially typed myself into a corner.

Lastly, in awful news, Fox News has been attacking Spring Break as dangerous. As somebody who will be partying in Miami soon enough, I really wish they would stop. In this economy, the last thing I need is people discouraged from going on Spring Break.

This concludes my avoidance issues. I am grateful I have a platform to talk about what I don’t talk about.


Noura Erakat–The newest UCLA sleeper cell

Thursday, March 12th, 2009

The Sacramento Queen and I went to UCLA a couple of days ago and invaded another terrorist sleeper cell.

As for the Sacramento Queen, we are getting along great. She is a staunch Republican. In fact, she is third generation Republican. There is nothing politically liberal about her. Unlike the previous romantic administration, the Sacramento Queen sees the world much closer to the way I do.

It has only been a few weeks, but the future looks bright. We shall see (Oh yeah, and her T and A is nothing short of spectacular. She absolutely may make my list next year of political yummy bouncies.).

Our romantic dinner did not start until 9:30pm because we decided to take in a show before dinner. Dinner theatre on this night consisted of blood libel from terrorist enabler Noura Erakat.

Noura Erakat is the niece of terrorist Saeb Erakat, whose responsibilities included everything from supporting Jihad against infidels to finding sexual partners for Yassir Arafat, be they male human, female human, or other mammals of either gender.

As for Ms. Erakat, she might be one of the most dangerous speakers in America. She is very telegenic. She looks like a girl one might try to pick up in a club or bar (She should live in Gaza or under Taliban rule and see how quickly her wardrobe changes…oh those evil modern Westerners and their lack of murder due to dress code violations.).

Ms. Erakat looks like a moderate. She even almost sounds like a moderate. She is no dummy. She speaks in crystal clear English (Again, Israel must allow Benjamin Netanyahu and only Benjamin Netanyahu to speak. No Israeli shall be allowed to talk to the media until they learn perfect America or British dialect. Shimon Peres mumbling about the “p*ss process” does not help our cause.).

She even manages to fake empathy for innocent dead Jews, neglecting to mention how they are being murdered (Hint: by Palestinian savages).

She switches back and forth from a thick Arabic accent to an America sounding woman with ease.

She offers a compelling presentation, except that every word out of her mouth was a lie.

She also wants Palestinians to befriend leftist Jews, because she understands that they are “helpful” and “useful.”

(Conservative Republican Jews call these leftist Jews imbeciles for a reason. When Palestinians are overtly claiming that these bleeding hearts are tools, perhaps the tools may want to listen. Better yet, they should just be quiet and stay in the shed lest they do any more damage in the name of “peace.”)

With that, I present the ugliness that is a presentation by Noura Erakat, who neglects to mention why the “poor, suffering Palestinians” are poor and suffering. I will get to that obvious conclusion after the ugliness that is Palestinian “moderation.”

“Israel is deliberately targeting civilians and civilian infrastructure. This (information) is a tool we can use.”

No, Ms. Erakat, that would be Hamas, which you found time to make excuses for. At least I admire your willingness to admit to manipulating information right off the bat.

“There are two issues. First of all, we must distinguish civilians from combatants. Soldiers are one thing, but civilians get special protection.”

There are not Palestinian civilians. In fact, there is no such thing as a Palestinian. Yet rather than rehash why they are just defective Arabs from Jordan and Egypt, for now it is important to note that their civilians do enable terrorists, which revokes their status as “innocent civilians.”

“The second issue is one of proportionality. Stopping rockets can be done with diplomacy. Hamas was firing 400 missiles a month into Israel. This was reduced to 40 missiles per month through diplomacy. Diplomacy did work.”

Lady, are you our of your Palestinian mind? Oh wait, yes, you are. Do your people want a medal for only being 10% as psychotic as before? Also, what about the daily attempts at homicide bobmings? It is not that you stopped trying to murder Jews. It is just that Israel is more successful at stopping. You don’t get rewarded for caught with your suicide belt down.

Until there is 0% rocket fire into Israel, there is nothing to discuss.

“Force must be restricted to the laws of war.”

What laws of war have Hamas and Hezbollah ever obeyed?

“Destroying family homes, even when militants have stayed there, is collective punishment.”

Yes. It is also completely justified. If you house terrorists, the entire house is fair game. Also, rather than blow up the houses after giving warnings, the house should be blown up when the people are inside. This is the Palestinian method of fighting. It is called indiscriminate murder.

“Hamas is ‘termed’ a terrorist organization. Hamas is a political party. Hamas provides social services.”

This woman needs to have a suicide vest attached to her body now. She should be detonated over the ocean of her choosing. That would be a “social service” I could live with. Adolf Hitler loved Eva Braun, in addition to poetry and painting. That doesn’t invalidate his deeds that Noura Erakat’s people celebrate and emulate in speeches.

“Denying medical personnel is never justified.”

Yes it is. Palestinians try to use ambulances and medical personnel to smuggle in weapons and homicide bombers. It is their d@mn fault no decent society trusts them. They get treated like garbage because they act like it.

“A school was struck. 41 children died. Food and medicine were destroyed.”

This is a lie. The story of the school near the U.N. building has already been debunked. As for food and medicine, Israel has no obligation to help its enemy. If anything they should cut off all supplies. This will not create a new generation of terrorists. It will kill off future terrorists before they get big and strong. The malnourished do not make for good “freedom fighters.”

“White phosphorous is not a chemical weapon. It is an incendiary weapon. An AIS school was attacked. Yes, the attack was at ngiht, but a 24 year old security guard died.”

Oh big deal. Israel deliberately waited until school was out to minimize casualties, while Palestinians try to maximize casualties. Next time just wait until school is in session. Oh no, that would make us savage animals…Palestinians.

“You kill a school to kill hope.”

A school is a building. Also, I want the Palestinians to have their hope killed. I want them to feel that the battle is over and they have lost. I want them psychologically obliterated. I do not want them going to school and learning how to murder Jews. Show me a curriculum that lacks a trace of Jihad, and then perhaps the school can be reopened one day in the future after the rocket attacks stop.

The best thing that can happen for this world is for Palestinians, murderous animals that they are, to lose hope. Wars end and society improves when the evil people lose hope and the good people declare victory.

“The Palestinian Red Crescent Society has been impeded. There has been direct targeting of medical personnel and ambulance drivers.”

The Palestinian Red Crescent Society has either deliberately or unwittingly (I regret giving any Palestinian the benefit of the doubt, but just for entertainment I will this time.) allowed their organization to be used for smuggling weapons and homicide bombers. This does not mean that the society itself is deliberately culpable. However, if they can’t prevent sabotage, then their own trucks cannot come in.

What Ms. Erakat calls “direct targeting” is actually security checkpoint action that is necessary. Palestinians complain about the humiliation they feel about the various checkpoints.

Well then stop blowing stuff up! My desire as a Jew to live supersedes Palestinians feeling inconvenienced. Being murdered is the ultimate inconvenience.

At that moment the lights went off. I was sitting in the back, and was convinced that a deliberate attempt to prevent me from taking notes was underway. I looked back just to make sure that members of the audience, who saw I was Jewish, were not planning an ambush. After all, this was not a place where the rule of law existed. It was a UCLA classroom filled with angry Arab terrorist sympathizers.

Ok fine, the lights could have been a coincidence.

I thought my ears deceived me when I thought I heard Ms. Erakat mention “Haman.” Gi9ven that the Jewish holiday of Purim had just passed, I was tempted to wave a noisemaker and boo Haman. However, I did not have a noisemaker, and apparently she referred to a guy named “Hamad.” He was also bad, but I confess to briefly spacing out, so he might not be. He probably is or was.

Then I thought I heard her say that “plashettes,” are bad. I wondered if she meant Suzanne Pleshette, and if Bob Newhart was part of the Zionist conspiracy.

Look, I may daydream, but my brief lapse into fantasy land was still much less delusional than Ms. Erakat, whose presentation was 100% separated from truth and reality.

“Plashettes are banned…when white phosphorous hit one family, one son was beheaded, and one son melted.”

What was he, the Wicked Witch of the West? The white phosphorous allegation is false. It never happened. More importantly, the Palestinians are not against weapons. They worship weapons. They are angry that the enemy they want to annihilate allegedly has better weapons. These people do not care about life and death. They are not upset about dying. They are upset about losing. They would happily kill 90% of their own people if the remaining 10% could live without any Jews around.

They then get angry when Israelis have the nerve to verify that Palestinian “emergency supplies,” do not contain bombs, either in literal or human form.

As for beheading, that is what Palestinians do. Jews don’t behead people. They do not engage in homicide bombings. Those with evidence to the contrary should present it. If Ms. Erakat had it, she would.

“With Hezbollah, the allegation that they use children as human shields may be true…but the problem is that the children cannot be blamed because they had nowhere to go.”

May be true? Try 100% absolutely true with a capital T for terrorist, or as we call it in non-denying Jewish culture, Palestinians.

I am not blaming the children. I am blaming Hamas. Palestinians have two choices. They can blame Hamas for their own fate, or they can align themselves with Hamas and be eradicated. Neither option will cause me to lose sleep. The murdering of Jews must stop.

“Israel’s tactics only create more terror.”

Garbage. The death penalty is a deterrent. It prevents repeat offenders. If young children grow up seeking vengeance, they can be killed as well. So when does it stop? When enough Palestinians are killed that they surrender permanently. If they surrender now, they can save their next generation. They don’t value life. They will fight to the death. Therefore, Israel should oblige them. It really is that simple.

“Gaza should get aid for reconstruction. Gaza should get psychological attention. The people of Gaza get no sympathy.”

Hamas will spend any reconstruction money they get on munitions. Psychological attention sounds good except for the fact that basket cases don’t become normal just because they get attention. I have a couple relatives in my family that prove this. Basket cases need to be quarantined, which is exactly what Israel has done to the Palestinians. As for sympathy, I feel bad that Palestinian children have parents that want to sacrifice them as part of a Jewish sandwich of murder. I just care more about the Jews, since they love the Palestinian children more than the kids are loved by their own disgraceful excuses for parental units.

“My heart goes out to the people of Sderot and Ashkelon (Jews in Israel under constant rocket attack from Palestinian terrorists. This is an example of one of the social services that Hamas provides.). Yet there is a difference. Israel has a state. Israel has an army. Palestinians do not get the benefit of the doubt. They must prove that they are not terrorists before they can go anywhere.”

This is the same argument liberals use to justify why it is ok to steal from rich people to help poor people. The Palestinians are poor. They have nothing. Therefore, they are given carte blanche to engage in murderous behavior since Israel has more.

As far as not getting the benefit of the doubt, at some point the Palestinians must either understand, or be forced at gunpoint to understand, that nothing in their behavior makes them deserve the benefit of the doubt. Yes, they are guilty until proven innocent. Decades of genocidal lunacy justify Israeli suspicion.

“National security does not justify this disproportionate response. Similarly, the overwhelming response after 9/11 was excessive. One million Iraqis died because of an overwhelming response.”

Only in America could a terrorist get a hearing to air anti-American grievances. Only a university run by leftists would allow this.

“Nobody says Israel shouldn’t defend itself. It is about how they defend themselves.”

Palestinians are a culture of murderers. Nothing Israel could do would be too extreme for me. Palestinans don’t get to decide how Israel responds to Palestinian terrorism.

“All wars have destruction. Israel engaged in ‘wanton’ destruction.”

I just ordered some fried wantons the other day. When I opened up my fortune cookie it told me that Palestinian spokespeople are full of Palestinianism, aka garbage. This woman should run for president in the Democratic Party. It depends what “wanton” is.

“The Israel lobby outraises in dollars by a 100 to 1 ratio over Palestinians. Israeli Muslims and Christians need support.”

How about Jews? You know, most of the people living in Israel. Sheesh!

“Support Israeli human rights groups.”

Thank God Israel shifted to the right, reducing the effectiveness of the extreme faction of Jews that want to surrender.

“Support the 99% of Palestinians who are non-violent.”

Actually, 80% of Palestinians supported the second intifada, Hamas, and violence against Israeli Jews. It depends what the word “violence” is.

“Congresswoman Barbara Lee of Northern California has already done this.”

Nobody listens to Barbara Lee.

“Everybody for Palestine.”

There is no Palestine. There is Israel.

“The displacement of the indigenous people was a racist discourse.”

Palestinians are not indigenous to anywhere. Sometimes I think that when they are killed, at least it shuts those people up from spouting nonsense. Palestinians are squatters. They are Jordanians and Egyptians that were kicked out of these countries for being the same group of miserable wretches that they are now.

“Programs to encourage Jews to breed more are not taught to Palestinians. This is bigoted.”

Palestinians teach their children to kill indiscriminately. Jews don’t. Maybe we are bigoted. We must stop valuing life immediately. We must be proportional.

Besides, Palestinians multiply like cockroaches. They do not need to know how to breed. All they do is breed and kill. They have as many children as possible so that they can sacrifice half of them. How dare Israelis not do this. It is discrimination.

Before getting to my question, somebody asked Ms. Erakat about Avi Lieberman, who win a significant number of seats in the Israeli leection that shifted Israel to the right. I will say it again. Ms. Erakat is no dummy.

“I stay out of the Israeli election. It would be hypocritical to tell another nation who they can elect as leaders. The Israelis will not let us choose our leaders, refusing to recognize the legitimate government of Hamas. We will deal with whoever ends up in charge, but we should not get involved in their election.”

I then asked my question. Unlike Lisa Hajjar, Ms. Erakat managed to address me without blatant and overt anti-Semitism. She called on me and harmlessly addressed me as “the man in the back with the blue shirt.”

I even asked my question in an ambiguous way, rather than my usual outright hostile style. AFter all, there was no security in the room.

“In the most recent conflict, Egypt and Saudi Arabia among others gave Israel a free hand. Given that these nations are your fellow Arab brothers, doesn’t it undermine your claim of who is at fault? How can Palestinians ask for positive public relations when their own brothers allow Israel to do what it needs to do because they hate your Palestinian guts?

Noura Erakat gave an answer that was partially brutally honest and partially insane. She managed to involve President George W. Bush and Archbishop Desmond Tutu into the answer. Even boxing promoter Don King would have admired her verbal contortions.

“The Arabs in Egypt are not my brothers. They are absolutely culpable. We give Israel 3 billion dollars per year in aid. No other country gets more. That should change. Egypt gets the second most amount of aid at 2.1 billion dollars per year. That should change.

George W. Bush allowed Israel to commit apartheid. That does not excuse Egypt and Saudi Arabia. They did nothing to help. Yet when people told Archbishop Desmond Tutu to stop criticizing Apartheid in South Africa because there were also problems in Tanzania and the Congo, he made it clear that their issues do not mean we just ignore South Africa. Egypt and Saudi Arabia and others do not excuse what is Israel’s behavior in the occupied territories.”

I am actually relieved she is criticizing George W. Bush. Had she praised him I would be nervous. Knowing that some of the worst people on Earth hate him as well as Jews makes me know I am on the right side of decency.

The only way to conclude is to offer a cold hard dose of reality towards the little rats scurrying around in Gaza.

Yes, their situation is bad. Yes, there is suffering. Yes, suffering is bad.

However, the plight of the Palestinians is 100% their fault.

Until and unless these savages look in the mirror and admit that they are solely to blame for their plight, there will be no improvement.

The ironic thing is if by some bizarre scenario they actually try a sustained campaign of non-violence, they will benefit. If a decade went by without a single attack on Jews, Israel would have no leverage.

Every attack hardens Israel, and justifies their response.

I am delighted by this because either way Israel wins. If the Palestinians “knock it off,” and somehow become normal, then there will be peace. If they don’t, Israel will continue crushing them while their impotent Arab brothers watch and shrug their oil drenched shoulders. Israel will have victory.

Either true peace or total victory are acceptable outcomes. Surrender to Palestinian filth is the only option the filth will allow right now. Well too bad. They cannot have that option.

Palestinians want war. Bring it on Ms. Erakat. Tell your terrorist Uncle that Jews will never surrender. We survived Hitler and we will survive you.

Palestinians want war. They want all or nothing.

Besides, Jews are doing them a favor. If we left, like we did in Gaza in 2005, they just murdered each other. They are like Congressional Liberal Democrats in the sense that they need to hate somebody to exist.

They get nothing. If they want to kill each other, Jews will stay out of the way. After all, it would be discourteous to interfere in their internal “elections.”

If they want to kill Jews…then burn Palestinians burn.