THE TYGRRRR EXPRESS

Before the main event, some quick housekeeping notes from the People’s Republic of Los Angeles.

Today I am speaking to the Temecula Republican Women’s Federated at their annual fashion show.

I am glad to be escaping Los Angeles for the day, especially since last night in Los Angeles was chaos. Both President Obama and Ann Coulter were within walking distance of my home.

Ann Coulter spoke at UCLA. I did not attend, but the event must have gone off without incident. I would have heard the sirens and seen the smoke had their been any real fire. Perhaps leftist protesters were beaten into submission by campus police before the event started. If this is the case, I might donate to the local policeman’s ball this year.

As for President Obama, he slept down the block from my home. He was in town to try and save Barbara Boxer, his most harmful action since taking office (including health care reform).

The hysterical shrill one shrieked while the cool as a cucumber one did his thing. Only people in Los Angeles could appreciate this.

I should have stayed home last night, but I was dumb enough to think I could go out for a hot dog without incident. I came home just before 9pm, and on a normally quiet street facing the main street, cars were backed up a city mile. I was across the street from my home, unable to get there. There were police everywhere. When I asked why, they said “Obama.” I innocently asked “Couldn’t he just take side streets?”

At least the motorcade went past my building without stopping inside. All I needed was for the jacuzzi to be sealed off because the president wants to go for a poolside soak at the same time I do.

(Sadly enough, Ms. Coulter did not stop by for a jacuzzi soak either.)

Yet it is one thing to be held hostage by traffic. In all fairness to the president, he causes less congestion than Kobe Bryant. The Lakers, who I detest, are in the playoffs. Until basketball season is over, downtown Los Angeles will be even worse than its usual awful experience.

Now for the main event.

It is one thing to be held hostage by traffic. I work from home, and can stay indoors. It is quite another thing to be held hostage in a foreign city by a deranged lunatic still bitter over events that occurred in the 1860s.

I was in Oklahoma City one month ago. The National Federation of Republican Women had a spectacular winter conference. After the conference, I decided to visit the Oklahoma City Memorial. The memorial was in walking distance from my hotel, but it was cold outside. I decided to brave a 10 foot hotel walk to a cab instead for a less than 5 minute ride.

That is when I encountered a fellow that I will refer to as the Black Militant Cabbie.

Now I know that liberals think I am a provocateur, and that my ongoing tales of ideological bigotry are inside my head. I mean every once in awhile somebody on the left could do something bad, but could that many people do bad things to one man for no reason? How could this be?

Simple. The left is an entire cancerous ideology of hate. Bullying is what they do. The Black Militant Cabbie (BMC) was just one typical leftist, nothing more.

The exact words I said to this man were, “The Oklahoma City Memorial, please.”

5 words…The…Oklahoma…City…Memorial…please. That is all I said.

Within 60 seconds, this man explained that white people needed to understand that Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh were responsible for the culture of hate that caused the Oklahoma City bombings.

(Beck was a radio DJ at a morning show at the time, I think. He spun records.)

Timothy McVeigh was a typical white separatist who wanted to keep (n-word…which the cabbie said several times) down. McVeigh got his orders from talk radio. He then said that all Republicans were the cause of hate in America.

I could have let it go. Yet I clearly remember the 5 words I said…”The Oklahoma City Memorial please.”

I looked at the driver and said, “I am a Republican, and I don’t appreciate you blaming an entire group of people for this.”

He then looked at me and said, “Maybe I shouldn’t have mentioned my politics in the car.”

I angrily responded, “You think? Maybe you shouldn’t have. I did not ask for your politics. I asked for a cab ride.”

He then said, “Well yeah, I understand, but you have to understand, Republicans have been trying to keep the black man down since…”

I cut him off and said, “I am not here for a lecture.”

This was the longest 5 minute car ride in my life.

The fare was $2.30. I tried desperately not to give him a tip, but unfortunately I did not have a nickel on me. I ended up giving him $2.35. If he chokes on the extra 5 cents, I will not lose sleep.

Does anybody in their right mind think that this man is an isolated basket case? Does anybody with an ounce of credibility think his behavior is outside the norm of leftist behavior? Does anybody think that conservative Republicans behave this way?

No, we don’t. We shut up, do our jobs, and live our lives. We speak out in self defense from ranting lunatics like this.

I don’t discuss ideological bigotry in a vacuum. I offer real life experiences with real ideological bigots.

In 5 minutes, this man equated all Republicans with evil on Earth.

I still do not understand why this man was in Oklahoma. If a person hates whitey and Republicans, why live in an area populated with them? If I hated liberal New Yorkers and latinos, I would not live in Spanish Harlem.

I was a tourist in this man’s city. Yet for 5 minutes I truly felt like a hostage.

At the risk of offending every minority group under the sun (like I care), I don’t care about your problems. I don’t care about slavery, life before feminism, Palesimian suffering, or whether or not gay Malasian CPAs are being oppressed by gay Thai CPAs.

My dad is a Holocaust survivor. His favorite holiday is “shut the hell up and go to work day.”

It should be amended to “shut the hell up while at work day.”

I have minority sympathy fatigue. My relatives were tossed into ovens. You don’t give a d@mn. Why? Because you are worried about feeding your families and living your lives. How selfish of you, wanting to just be left alone to live in peace and quiet.

I don’t care what my auto mechanic thinks about Saudi Arabian lesbian golfers. If my car runs, he did his job just fine.

If there is a second leftist cabbie in America, perhaps he and this Oklahoma City BMC can crash into each other at top speed.

I want to get from point A to point B without being confronted by the worst aspects of leftist societal dregs.

I should have reported the BMC, but I wanted to focus on the Oklahoma City Memorial. I was relieved when the cabbie that picked me up to bring me back to the hotel was calm, pleasant, and non-militaristic.

The left blames every conservative for every problem on Earth. So while blaming every leftist for the decay of America may seem unfair, my justification is simple.

The left does not condemn their worst elements. They celebrate them.

I wonder how many liberals even find my experience problematic. After all, I must have said something to offend this man. I am a conservative. I have to be at fault.

Some will say that he had a bad day, or maybe a bad few years.

That is an explanation, not an excuse.

Until enough people throw pennies at him in his car and say, “Here is your fare, now do your (redacted) job and shut up,” the bullying will continue.

I should have said something. Because I did not report him, he is out bullying other innocent passengers and getting paid for it.

This is liberalism. It is a philosophy of intolerance and hostility.

I have hundreds of these examples. The behavior is not atypical. It is very typical.

I have had it.

eric

On April 19th, 1993, a neophyte Clinton administration made one of its worst blunders led by a stocky version of Inspector Clouseau, Janet Reno. David Koresh and the Branch Davidian cultists were hunkered down in their compound. Children were being violated. Something had to be done.

Bill Clinton and Janet Reno had every right to do something. They simply did it badly. The compound burned, with the government and the cultists each blaming the other side for starting the fire.

(This is where liberals immediately side with the government because the government was liberal. If George W. Bush was in charge at the time, it would have been seen as a Texas government plot sponsored by Enron and Halliburton. This makes as much sense as blaming Billy Joel, for singing, “We didn’t start the fire.”)

Angered by the siege at Waco, Texas, in addition to the shooting of Randy Weaver at Ruby Ridge, Idaho, two men decided to resort to domestic terrorism.

On April 19th, 1995, two events occurred. The “other” event rightfully got lost in the shuffle, but I point it out to show how history can be affected.

That morning, Indiana Senator Dick Lugar announced his campaign for the 1996 presidency. Lugar is a bright, thoughtful individual, but his dark horse candidacy never stood a chance as his campaign announcement was overshadowed. He was an expert in foreign policy, but this act of domestic terrorism led to a very normal rallying around the flag for President Clinton. Ever the gentleman, even Mr. Lugar himself would admit that the other occurrence on that day was more important.

On April 19th, 1995, Timothy McVeigh and Terry Nichols murdered 168 people by bombing the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City.

McVeigh and Nichols blamed the federal government, including Clinton and Reno. This was an outrageous train of thought. Clinton and Reno badly handled the Waco standoff, but their intentions were honorable. They were trying to save the lives of children. McVeigh and Nichols were mass murderers.

Yet while it was totally wrong to accuse Clinton of Oklahoma City, it was equally wrong of Clinton to be an accuser.

Long before Rahm Emanuel mentioned that a crisis should never go to waste, Bill Clinton and the left used the Oklahoma City bombing to demonize the right.

Dianne Feinstein tried to use the tragedy to push for tougher gun control laws, even though that had nothing to do with this situation.

Bill Clinton blamed Rush Limbaugh for the tragedy. After all, the left defines hate speech as anything they disagree with, and Limbaugh was very successful in helping the Republicans take over the congress in 1994. Attacking Limbaugh was a way to reenergize the Democrats before the 1996 elections.

(Fox News did not exist at the time, although future history books will blame them anyway for failing to rally to Clinton’s side before their first broadcast ever happened.)

As is the American tradition, we rallied around the good people of Oklahoma City. Governor Frank Keating kept a calm, steady hand. The real heroes were ordinary police officers, who quickly tracked down the killers. Luck played a role, as a routine traffic stop led to the plot being uncovered.

Oklahoma City is fresh in my mind because I took my first visit there one month ago.

On March 13th, I spoke to the National Federation of Republican Women at their Winter Conference. Ladies from all over the country came to the heartland. Time did not allow me to take in an Oklahoma Thunder basketball game, which was down the block from my hotel.

Yet with only hours before my flight took off, I was also only blocks from the Oklahoma City memorial.

The outdoor memorial contains a wall of pictures by young children. Children capture truth in a way that adults sometimes do not do.

There were sad faces with raindrops of tears. There were signs thanking the rest of America. There were kids asking the question that adults ask…Why?

None of these kids blamed Bill Clinton, Janet Reno, or Rush Limbaugh. They blamed the bad people.

Some kids drew pictures of sunshine peering out from clouds, to show better days ahead. Other kids just took imprints of hands shaking other hands. Stick figures of random strangers of all colors and sizes hugging each other were scattered throughout.

15 years later, some things have not changed.

What was the left doing in the days leading up to April 19th, 2010?

Bill Clinton and Barack Obama were blaming Rush Limbaugh, Fox News, and tea party attendees for conditions that caused Oklahoma City.

They just can’t stop.

The people of Oklahoma overwhelmingly vote Republican. They are by and large conservatives.

This is relevant because these people condemned the violence that killed their fellow Oklahomans. They would not vote for a party or support an ideology that supports terrorism and indiscriminate murder.

Nobody in their right mind or heart would believe that any television program, radio show, or mainstream politician had anything to do with this.

The ugliest strain of thought by some on the left offered the “chickens coming home to roost” argument. Oklahomans reaped what they sowed by supporting and “fanning the flames of hate” by being conservatives.

(Notice this argument does not get transmitted to liberals for 9/11 in NYC).

Some on the left will deny that anybody offered that argument, but they did.

This was a horrible act perpetrated by a pair of evil people. That is it.

It was not Christian terrorism. Timothy McVeigh was not a Christian, despite the best efforts of those wanting to show that Christianity is anywhere near as evil as Radical Islam.

For those who want to blame Clinton, Reno, Limbaugh, Gingrich, or anybody else but McVeigh and Nichols, just realize that you are dishonoring the victims in Oklahoma City and their families.

Have we learned anything from Oklahoma City?

I see the left accusing the right of stoking hatred. The left accuses the tea party attendees of racism, and then shows up with racist signs pretending to be conservatives. Every tragic act in this country is blamed on Limbaugh, Fox News, tea party attendees, and the new devil incarnate, Sarah Palin.

Cities are dying, and rather than analyze liberal mayors, Ronald Reagan is blamed.

George W. Bush was the governor of Texas at the time, but I am sure somehow he will shoulder some of the blame for failing to stop McVeigh during the Clinton years.

The world needs less blame and more love. The children that drew those pictures did not see left or right. They saw good and evil, hate and love.

Go to Oklahoma City. Look at the mural. See what the good kids of Oklahoma had to say to the rest of America.

They don’t want blame. They want peace and love.

On April 19th, 2010, that is what I wish for the people of Oklahoma City.

Peace.

eric

My column today has been “outsourced.” My mother forwarded me this letter from an Israeli citizen. I have never met the man. His message is delivered in a more gracious manner than I would deliver it, but his points must be heeded.

Avi Ifergan, Rehovot, Israel

“Dear Mr. President,

Earlier this month, your Secretary of State told a forum of Jewish leaders that ‘sometimes friends need to tell each other the hard truth’. Well Mr. President, allow me, on behalf of my people, to return the courtesy. You have always been rhetorically supportive of Israel, but the incongruence of your actions in the first year of your presidency have left us Israelis, and Jews worldwide, scratching their heads in bewilderment. Mr. President, here’s the hard truth from an Israeli father of 3 daughters, under the age of 6.

No we can’t take any chances when it comes to the physical security of our land, our people or my girls. There exists no room for error. Security is the primary priority.

You see, we learn from our history, and it teaches us a simple truth: No we can’t count on the promises or protection of other nations when our people face an existential threat. The world watched, immovable, as we were slaughtered by the Nazis;  In every decade of Israel ’s existence, its neighbors, or the Palestinians waged war on us, and the world watched in relative silence. In the years after the so-called Oslo Peace Treaty, the world remained silent as Israelis faced hundreds of Palestinian suicide bombings, stabbings, drive-by shootings, and kidnappings. The world did however feel free to openly criticize us when we set up check posts and built a security fence to protect ourselves.

No we can’t understand how, in 2006, when over 4,000 Hezbollah missiles rained down on a third of the Israeli population, the leaders of the world found it important to criticize Israel’s military reaction. Similarly we read their criticisms that were splashed across the headlines of the global media during Operation Cast Lead in Gaza in 2008. They remained silent during the preceding 6 years that the Kassam rockets from Gaza forced Israel ’s Southern population to sleep in bomb shelters, and did not commend Israel ’s military restraint. Of course, that changed as the Israeli military went into Gaza to locate and destroy the Hamas rocket launchers.

No we can’t believe that you would expect your governments to react any differently, if you and your children were faced with the similar threats.

No we can’t stomach the thought of a holocaust-denying, Hezbollah- and Hamas-funding Iranian President, who in the same breath openly states that his intentions are for Iran to achieve nuclear capabilities, and for the destruction of the ‘Zionist entity’.

No we can’t imagine you doing anything more than proposing more painful sanctions on Iran – and what do you call it – ‘containment’? This is where he ends up getting the nuclear weapons he seeks, right?

No we can’t accept a divided Jerusalem. Jerusalem is the eternal capital of Israel , and of the Jewish people. It is not ‘the third holiest city’, as it is for the Moslems. It is the only holy city of the Jewish people. It has been so for over 3,000 years. Since coming under Israeli sovereignty all religions have been able to visit and practice openly and freely. Oh – and you should know that the ‘Waqf’, those Palestinians who control the Temple Mount in Jerusalem , do not allow any other religions, Jew or Christian, to pray there. I even hear that swaying or the silent moving of the lips is forbidden.

So, no we can’t have friends dictating to us where in Jerusalem we can or cannot build – or feeling insulted when we do as we please in our own land.

No we can’t believe that giving the Palestinian people a land of their own is such a high priority on your foreign policy agenda. Considering their civil rights and terrorist track-record, and the growing influence of Hamas as the likely ruling party. Mr. President, did you know that when the Palestinian Authority came to power in 1994, the first piece of legislation that it passed was the death penalty for any Palestinian who sells land to Jews. Over 100 Palestinians have died, under sentence or extra-judicially, for such sales in the last 15 years. Is this the ‘two-state solution’™ that you imagine?

No we can’t comprehend why you would spend the first year of your presidency hugging, bowing and warming to those shining leaders of freedom and democracy Venezuela’s Chavez, King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia, or Mubarak of Egypt. I know you’re aware of the brutality and lack of freedoms in such non-democracies – the beheadings, the inability of a woman to bear witness in court, or to simply drive, the lack of tolerance when it comes to people who are different – be it culture, religion, or sexual orientation.

And No we can’t understand why, in Israel, where the opposite is true, where Arabs enjoy more freedoms than in any Arab country in the world – freedoms of speech and expression, the press, religion, tolerance to the gay and lesbian community, gender equality, you choose to make a big deal about Jews building in their holiest city – Jerusalem ? We’re an easy target, we know, but please, how about finding something more substantial to make an issue of – and about a non-democracy.

No we can’t fathom why on earth you don’t get us Israelis yet. We Israelis and our governments have repeatedly demonstrated an unwavering commitment to peace, and a willingness to pay a high price for it. In 1947, we accepted the UN’s ‘two-state’ resolution on the partition of Palestine, despite the fact that we would not have had any control of Jerusalem or the surrounding neighborhoods; The Arabs rejected it, and instead 6 Arab nations declared war on our fledgling state. In 1979 we gave up a piece of land greater than the size of the state of Israel , the Sinai, for peace with Egyptians. In 1999, we unilaterally withdrew from South Lebanon , allowing Hezbollah to set up its bases in our stead. A year later, Israeli PM Ehud Barak offered the Palestinians ‘the deal of the century’ – 97% of the West Bank, 100% of the Gaza strip, the dismantling of 63 settlements and agreeing that the East Jerusalem neighborhoods would become the capital of their new state. This too, was rejected by the Palestinians. In 2005, Israeli PM Sharon, without negotiations or demanding of concessions, unilaterally pushed through his disengagement plan that led to the dismantling of 21 settlements in the Gaza Strip and 4 in the West Bank .

No we can’t trust you….yet. Trust is earned. You see, Mr. President, I teach my girls to pay little attention to words and close attention to deeds. My people have demonstrated by deed that we are willing to pay a high price for peace and security. On more than one occasion you have said that you are committed to the Israel ’s security and will not tolerate a nuclear-capable Iran . Now it’s your turn to match your words with deeds. A two-state solution with the Palestinian people is of little relevance if Iran achieves its nuclear goals.”

All I can say is “Amen!”

eric

At lunch I am speaking to the Lamorinda GOP ladies. Then in the late afternoon I am headlining a San Francisco Tea Party in Union Square. I am sure the attacks will be launched against me any minute now for breathing while conservative. April 15th is the day when the government steals obscene amounts of money from productive people and wastes it on mostly nonsense. Yet on this tax day, I look forward to the left taking protests about economics and pretending like the tea parties have anything to do with hatred of people based on race or creed.

Yes, it seems the left is getting desperate to paint all conservatives as racist, sexist, bigoted, homophobes.

After much searching, I found the bigotry the left was referring to in their anti-conservative rantings.

A bunch of women were holding up signs that said “Lynch.” These women were fired up, and ready to raise political hay.

The ladies at the National Federation of Republican Women (who have been very nice to me) must be racists. After all, why would these mostly white women hold up signs that say lynch on them?

Oh wait…Sue Lynch is the current President of the NFRW.

Ok fine, but why are random men and women in Florida holding up signs that say “Lynch Congress?”

This must be racist. There are minority members of congress, so obviously the signs are violent.

Oh wait…The signs do not say Lynch Congress. They Say Lynch for Congress. That would be Ed Lynch.

Ok, but back to the NFRW. Why did they invite JC Watts to speak at their recent winter conference in Oklahoma City?

Sure, it could be because he played football at Oklahoma, served in Congress in Oklahoma, and was born and raised in Oklahoma. No. The real reason is because his last name is Watts. This was a reference to the 1965 Watts riots. JC Watts is black. Inviting him was a backhanded way of insulting the rioters.

Think about it. When Policeman Crowley was verbally accosted by a left wing gasbag Harvard professor (redundant, I know), what was the name of that professor? Gates. Who was the former police chief that presided over the 1992 Los Angeles riots? That’s right. Gates.

Furthermore, what do people objecting to illegal immigration want to build? Fences. What are fences? Gates.

Shazaam! It all ties together.

Racism has its roots deep in this country, but for those that remember the 1980s, the television show “Night Court” with Harry Anderson and John Larroquette was the prime practitioner. Think about it. You had Mac. He was black. He was not the guy in charge. He served under Judge Harry, who was White (Other white characters served under Harry, but this is irrelevant).

In addition, there was a character played by Richard Moll. His name was Bull. This is obviously a reference to Bull Connor.

Finally, since every thing in life comes down to Selma, the show did have a character named Selma played by an actress named Selma. She was replaced by a character named Florence, played by Florence Halop. Some will say that Selma was written out of the show because she died, but obviously Bull had something to do with it. Florence also died, so maybe Bull killed them both out of racism (They were both white and replaced with a black actress, but those are facts, and don’t matter).

Some will say I am making fun of racism. No. I am making fun of those that claim racism based on the slightest hint of manufactured outrage.

I guess I have minority sympathy fatigue.

Does real racism exist? Yes.

Do most decent people everywhere condemn it? Yes.

Do people on the left use racism as a sledgehammer to intimidate the right? Absolutely yes.

As another April 15th has come and gone, and the government has stolen more of my hard earned money, it would be nice to get through a week without the left claiming that supporting tax cuts is racist and protesting against tax hikes is bigotry.

I know, there are signs in Hawaii that say “Duke for Governor.” I know there are people on the left that confuse Hawaii with Louisiana, and that the people must be supporters of David Duke. Or perhaps they could be supporting Lt. Governor Duke Aiona in his bid to replace the retiring Linda Lingle.

Every bogus claim of racism undermines real racism in the same way that fake accusations of rape undermine real rape victims.

The left does not care. It is not about the real victims. It is about advancing a political agenda. The real victims are pawns.

Oh wait…I can’t use the word pawns. Pawns are the least important pieces on the chess board, and everybody knows that chess is a racist game since the white pieces move first.

We can’t play checkers, because Checkers was the name of Nixon’s dog, and Nixon advanced the Southern Strategy that drove black Americans into the waiting arms of the patronizing Demagogic Party.

Actually, I can prove that conservatives breathing is racist. Well not breathing, but drinking water is racist. Water is H20, which is HOH. HOH when sounded out is a slang terms used to refer to women, including black women, as prostitutes. Hos hang out with pimps, players, and mack daddies. These are basically guys that engage in illegal activities while wearing cool 1940s style fedoras.

(Full disclosure: I am a fedora guy.)

Now that everything except sitting silently, which the left wants us to do, has been eliminated, I will wait for my tax refund in the mail so I can get some of my stolen money back. I sure could use a tax cut.

Actually, that would be racist. Instead I will ask for a distribution reduction.

eric

I finally have proof that Barack Obama is a racist who hates Caucasians.

It was not easy, but I can finally say that the man has malice in his heart. He is no better than the Black Panthers or the KKK.

On the way to giving his eight billionth groundbreaking speech, his motorcade stopped. Apparently the president was hungry. With Secret Service around him, he walked into the establishment that has represented anti-white bigotry for decades.

If I were to walk into a store that had the n-word on it, I as a conservative would be vilified. Not President Obama. He gets a free pass.

Perhaps I should not use the word pass. Passes happen in sports, which Norah O’Donnell and other leftist imbeciles would extrapolate to mean that I am making remarks about black people and athletics.

I definitely cannot use the word free anymore. That is racist because it implies that black people get things for free. It must mean I am making a remark about government cheese. That would be a reasonable assumption given that all that cheese would affect any man’s system, which explains why the president is so full of (redacted).

There are many companies that make cheese, from Sargentos to Kraft to Cracker Barrel.

That is what this is all about…Cracker Barrel.

That is the name of the restaurant the president ate at for lunch.

Cracker Barrel is racist. It is anti-white bigotry. President Obama should know better than to eat at such an establishment. He does know. He just does not care.

To make matters worse, his Ipod (not the one he gave the Queen as an insincere gift, the one he owns now) contains music by the Rolling Stones. They sing the song “Honky Tonk Woman.”

The man is a bigot. Not since Sherman Helmsley as George Jefferson referred to Tom Willis’s daughter as a zebra has white America been so abused. What in the name of Roxie Roker is going on with this man?

If Weezie were alive today, she would not tolerate this (R.I.P. Isabel Sanford).

Well I am tired of being led by a Cracker Barrel eating, Honky Tonk listening anti-caucasoid.

How do I know these things are racist?

Because this is Obamaworld. Everything is racist.

What did Mr. Obama eat at this restaurant? Soup. What came with the soup?

That’s right…crackers! Not only that, he asked for extra crackers. This man has no shame.

He may be a lousy baseball player (Am I allowed to say that? What about criticizing his effeminate bowling?), but he certainly does not mind playing the race card at the ballpark by singing some song about crackerjacks and demanding that he be brought a box.

Given that many black people live in Seattle (actually they don’t), and that Seattle was famous for grunge, it would make sense why Barack Obama would listen to 1990s grunge group Nirvana. Kurt Cobain killed himself, which is one less white person for Mr. Obama to have to look at. Also, Mr. Cobain sang “Polly want a cracker.”

Mr. President, your bigotry must stop.

The man flies on a private airplane. The airplane was invented by the Wright Brothers. Orville and Wilbur were religious men (I have no idea), and their favorite prophet was Jeremiah. Jeremiah Wright is a racist pastor. Holy Louis Farrakhan, the coincidences cannot be ignored any more.

Barack Obama has had conversations with Al Sharpton. Sharpton needs to change his last name since his entire last name is bigoted. The word “sharp” can mean “tart,” which would imply that he is a racial prostitute. It can also be a type of cheese, which gets us back to Cracker Barrel. The anagram for sharp is harps, which are played by angels in heaven. This means people want him to die, since harps are played in heaven, which is racist. The second syllable is “ton,” which is a cheap shot at his being fat.

So now that we know that Mr. Obama is a skinny man of dark pigmentation, it makes sense why he hates fat, white people.

When does the madness end? Do I support the lynching of black women because I eat at Sizzler, which is short for “Sizzle Her?”

I am against burning black women. I like a good salad bar (them corn fritters is tasty). Is this that complex?

Liberals started this stupidity. They practice this to demonize conservatives, and to advance a politically correct agenda. They are even doing it in sports.

Memo to leftists: The Washington Bullets changed their name to the Wizards. They still suck.

Even if Barack Obama was shooting 3 point baskets for them, it would not matter.

Now I will not rest until the NBA allows enough white players to be in the league in proportion to their percentage in the general population. An 80% black league is proof of racism. It cannot be merit based.

So until the NBA is shut down for racial discrimination, Barack Obama is a racist for watching the games.

I bet they even serve Cracker Barrel cheese and white crackers at his annual NBA finals party.

What a racist.

eric

A scandal that I am reporting on for the first time has just been uncovered. In keeping with the tradition of the Jayson Blair Times, the sources are unverified and anonymous. The story is legitimate because I said so.

In retaliation for John Edwards making a sex tape and humiliating her, Elizabeth Edwards has just made  a sex tape. Shockingly enough, the hard core pornography session is between her and Barack Obama.

In between random acts of primal behavior, both Elizabeth Edwards and Barack Obama are heard making anti-Semitic comments. Elizabeth Edwards blames the Jews for her husband having an affair. Barack Obama has promised to lean harder on Israel than he does on Elizabeth as they both chant “Death to Israel” while jumping on a trampoline. Later in the video the president and almost first lady share a jello bath while celebrating all things European from Brie Cheese to Kristellnacht.

I would produce the tape, but when I say “tape,” I mean my photographic memory since I saw it with my own eyes. It happened.

Why would I lie? If you like me and dislike Obama and Edwards, then I have to be telling the truth. It must be true because I said so and I am a good guy. I am the force of everything pure and righteous in this world. My critics are evil trolls. Therefore, may the circular logic be unbroken, by and by lord, by and by.

(Go ahead, get that song out of your head. You can’t.)

Now some liberals will demand proof, but why does that matter? I said it, therefore it is so because I said so.

Isn’t this how liberals work?

They accuse tea party attendees of hurling racist and anti-gay epithets. What is their proof? The accusers said so, before refusing to address the media again.

Why should they be believed? Just because. They are liberals. They are good and noble and righteous. Why would they lie?

The tea party people are evil bad people motivated by racism. They have to be guilty.

So the left calls them racists, alleges racist slurs, and the evidence is that of course they did it because everybody knows they are racists.

Does anybody else see this wheel of stupidity?

If the left had an ounce of integrity, they would say “We disagree with the tea party people on issues. We accused them of making slurs. There is no evidence this occurred. We will continue to fight them on policy.”

The left will not have the guts or moral character to say they cannot prove their charges.

Andrew Breitbart offered $100,000 for evidence. The left simply declares Breitbart a bad, evil person. Therefore, he has to be lying.

Any reasonable person can say that if you make an assertion, you have to back it up.

Breitbart accused leftist thugs of throwing eggs at his bus. He produced a videotape.

The left does not care. They deliberately want to castigate any opponent of Barack Obama as a racist to intimidate them into silence.

There  is no difference between objections to Obama policies and what Al Gore or John Kerry would propose. Not a single, shred of difference.

When tax cheat Charles Rangel compares those who want tax cuts to those who want to lynch black people, that is pure poison. I want lower capital gains taxes. I am against setting black people on fire. Is this so incredibly complicated to grasp?

The left resorts to childish insults. Calling the opponents “teabaggers” is just part of the smug, superiority complex that the left loves. I can call the left “sh*theads. That adds nothing to the discussion.

The very essence of my struggle to end ideological bigotry stems from the fact that the left is unwilling and unable to see conservatives as human beings. Every single policy discussion ends with us being called Nazi, racist, bigoted, homophobes. Then the slur of “teabaggers” is added.

Liberals then say that this is just a funny “joke.” They hide behind words like joke and satire, which is just a way of being vicious while smiling. Hey, I could say that liberals should be sodomized with baseball bats, but laugh after I say it. I can nickname them Sodomites. It does not make it ok.

The demonization of conservatives for being alive, having a pulse, refusing to commit suicide, and disagreeing with the left has to stop.

If the left keeps crying wolf, the right may decide that if they are going to be accused of evil, they may just commit it so at least the slurs will be accurate. The left has already resorted to various forms of ecoterrorism and animal rights terrorism. Why shouldn’t the tea party attendees fight violence with violence?

Because that is not the solution. Also, it is just plain wrong.

I have decided to take action. I am going to enforce civility. Being gentlemanly has not worked. Kindness is seen as weakness. I have been way too lenient on my own blog. Part of it is because of my travel schedule. That is an explanation, not an excuse.

Any references to teabaggers or any other slurs will be deleted.

Why? Because I said so. It is my d@mn blog and I can.

I am headlining a tea party on April 15th, and I am not going to be referred to in that manner.

Individuals caught doing bad things are fair game. Labeling entire swaths of people as racists is beyond the pale, and not acceptable discourse.

I will listen to members of Congress throwing around racial and homophobic accusations the minute they produce some evidence. If it existed, the left would be blaring it everywhere and all the time.

Until then, I expect the left to apologize for Barack Obama and Elizabeth Edwards burning each other with candlewax and pretending that they were both Jewish so Jews would be burning.

As for the unicorn that took part in the sex act with both of them, it is too gruesome for me to show anybody. I said it happened, and I am morally superior to my critics solely because I said so. Therefore, it happened.

Enough already. Anti-Semitic leftist bestiality with fictional animals has to stop. Or maybe liberals are just scum, so now we can just call them scumbaggers.

Or they could knock it off, look in the mirror, and stop acting like themselves.

eric

President Obama should immediately nominate Alcee Hastings to fill the Supreme Court vacancy left open by the retiring John Paul Stevens.

Stevens, 90, hung on to the job like a pope until George W. Bush left the White House.

Liberals will claim that since an ultra-liberal is leaving, the replacement must be an ultra-liberal. Naturally they did not feel this way when Bill Clinton nominated ACLU uber-liberal Ruth Bader Ginsburg to replace conservative Byron White. The left makes up the rules as they go along, and this is one of their newer rules.

Barack Obama has shown that he has zero interest in merit, decorum, bipartisanship, or modesty. His least endearing traits are arrogance and a refusal to treat political opponents with dignity. Therefore, there is only one “qualified” nominee for the U.S. Supreme Court to cement the Obama “legacy.”

Alcee Hastings must be nominated.

Alcee Hastings is a corrupt former judge who was impeached and removed from the bench. Needing a job where corruption and a complete lack of integrity were not job requirements, he became a liberal member of Congress from Florida.

There are several reasons why Hastings is the perfect choice.

1) He is black and liberal. He cannot be criticized for any reason. Anybody that brings up his impeachment and removal is a racist.

2) Although he is not a woman, his first name is Alcee. That is close enough. The National Organization for Women is not known for doing research. Hastings supports the abortion of the month club, so they would support him. Mr. Obama will state that he support “women’s issues,” and is therefore a woman. Who can argue with someone named Alcee?

3) The right would be enraged. Yes they would be angry that Mr. Obama would again spit in the eye of the rule of law, but remember…Mr. Hastings might know somebody who marched with Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. He is therefore beyond reproach.

4) Bill Clinton proved that impeachment doesn’t matter. Neither does stealing documents, as Sandy Berger did. I could picture Clinton laughing and saying that Hastings was the victim of the right wing smear machine, and that his “misadventures” were “just Alcee being Alcee.”

5) Remember, Chuck Schumer and Joe Biden have long said that qualifications don’t matter. What they actually said was that judicial knowledge was not everything, and that ideology can and should be factored in to the confirmation process. Hastings is a liberal. Therefore, he has to be a legal genius.

Even by the typical mediocre standards of Barack Obama and Congress, Alcee Hastings is below the bar. So I say to heck with qualities such as intelligence, ethics, and merit. Mr. Obama has already said this, so he should prove how powerful he is. If he can get Hastings through, he truly can walk on water.

Besides, since the death of Thurgood Marshall, Mr. Obama will be under intense pressure by the Congressional Black Liberal Caucus and the National Association for the Advancement of Liberal Colored People to place a black man on the Supreme Court. Conservatives will argue that Clarence Thomas is black, but the CBLC and NAALCP do not agree with this. Being black is about liberal feelings and attitudes, not odd concepts such as pigmentation.

Again, since he is a CBLC member, they will champion him. The hags and harpies at the NOW will be too scared to object, blaming George W. Bush for the nomination.

I am tired of judges with lifetime appointments being judged by things such as knowledge of the law, judicial restraint, and honor. It is time for some good old fashioned liberal tokenism.

A corrupt, black, impeached and removed judge with a liberal voting record and a feminine sounding name is the best possible choice in the age of Obama. He is the very best possible pure and true representation of what the Democratic Party is today.

He is the anti-John Roberts. That is what the Democrats want.

Come on Mr. Obama. You know you want to do it.

Alcee Hastings and one more judge (Barney Frank perhaps) can help Mr. Obama pass any legislation he wants with zero judicial interference. Yes that would be judicial corruption, but again, I said in the beginning this man was perfect for the job.

Go, Alcee, go!

eric