THE TYGRRRR EXPRESS

After weeks of traveling, the Tygrrrr Express is spending Thanksgiving 2009 in solitary confinement in my Los Angeles condo. Please do not cry for me Argentina. I am fine. One set of friends had me over for a pre-Thanksgiving meal last week, and another set of friends did the same this past Tuesday. I had offers to go places this year, but I could use the rest. It is health for people to be comfortable in their own skin.

My parents never celebrated holidays, so a Swanson dinner is just fine. I can catch up on paperwork and plan the rest of my year and 2010.

Actually, this is my favorite time of year because it is the only time with five straight days of football. In addition to Thursday with the Lions and Cowboys, the regular games on Sunday and Monday night, and college games on Saturday, even Friday offers fare. Growing up was the annual Oklahoma vs Nebraska game. I miss that game. I have never been to either state, but I rooted for Nebraska because Tom Osborne was the good guy while Barry Switzer was the outlaw.

This Thanksgiving has the Green Bay Packers at the Detroit Lions at 9:30am, The Oakland Raiders at the Dallas Cowboys at 1:15pm, and the New York Giants at the Denver Broncos at 5:20pm. The Raiders game is another reason I am in solitary confinement. They have won one game in a row, and I do not want to be around children if I have to say bad words.

Before getting to those that I am thankful to know, the list only contains people who have helped me regarding my career as a blogger, author, and public speaker. So if you are a family member or longtime friend, let it go. Chances are I like you.

Since most of you have no idea who these people are that I am thanking, that is at the end. With that, I am now offering my (barely) annual updated list of what I am…and am not…thankful for.

Surely I can put aside partisan griping on this holiday. No, that is what Yom Kippur is for. Rather than give you something that flows, I feel you all deserve nothing less on this holiday than disjointed musings.

I am thankful that I belong to a rich religion in Judaism that has 6000 years of traditions.

I am not thankful for the fact that a bunch of crazy Arabs in the Middle East think they will get 72 virgins for blowing Jews up. Oh, and I wish we had the oil.

As awful as the Raiders are, I am thankful it is football season.

I am not thankful for the fact that I still get bored between February and September, mainly because baseball is boring. I say give the NFL players a month off, and have a second season.

I am thankful for the fact that any woman would want to sleep with me, and that enough have…well not enough ever, but enough for this moment.

I am not thankful for the fact that no woman I have ever dated has developed laryngitis. Can a guy watch the game in peace?

I am thankful for Republican Jewish brunettes.

I am not thankful for the fact that their Republican upbringing often involves being taught about chastity, abstinence, and other issues that make religious people zealots. It is also tragic that the women that want to get buck wild are liberal outside of the bedroom as well, and again, refuse to come down with laryngitis.

I am thankful to live in Los Angeles, where the weather is gorgeous, and the jacuzzi water is perfect year round.

I am not thankful for the fact that Los Angeles is the plastic capital of the world, where women visit my jacuzzi year round only because my dad is a movie producer (actually he is a retired schoolteacher, but mercenaries beget mercenaries).

I am thankful for the fact that I live in America, the greatest nation on Earth.

I am not thankful for the fact that half the population loves America not for what it is, but for what they want it to be. Their prescriptions may have us fleeing to Mexico for a better quality of life in a generation.

I am thankful for the fact that a guy with screws loose who has unhealthy fascinations with Susan Boyle and Monique from Showtime at the Apollo can become a successful blogger, author, and public speaker

I am not thankful for the fact that this country has sunk so low on the lowest common denominator scale that people would spend one minute of their life reading about some blogger that has unhealthy fascinations with Susan Boyle and Monique from Showtime at the Apollo.

I am thankful that in America, anybody can become President, regardless of race, gender, or ethnicity.

I am not thankful for the fact that so many guilty white liberals will vote for empty suits whose only noticeable quality is their race, gender or ethnicity.

I am thankful that I understand the beauty behind Thanksgiving, and how it represents the spirit of harmony and the resilience of the American spirit.

I am not thankful that I live in a nation where public schools are declining so rapidly that in 20 years they might not know what this holiday is about.

I am thankful for the fact that I am free to practice my religion, even though I am not Christian.

I am not thankful for the fact that Christmas starts two months in advance, and that the day after Thanksgiving, mothers who preach about peace and love will be trying to kill each other with shopping carts to get the last Elmo, Furby, Garbage Patch Kid, or whatever toy the toy stores tell these sheep to buy.

I am thankful that Ebay and Craigslist allow me to avoid the malls altogether.

I am not thankful for the fact that hot women in their 20s have to go to the mall, rather than just try on their miniskirts in front of my home mirror, with a rose in their teeth, and my teeth through their miniskirts.

I am thankful that America has the military force to blow up nations like Iran and Syria that could use a good @sskicking.

I am not thankful for the fact that bombing these nations into the stone age will not improve them because they are already there.

I am thankful that circumstances have led to a holiday that is marked by sleeping in late, watching football, eating meat, getting stuffed, and then going back to sleep. Heck, we even have a food that is named after the concept of getting stuffed, aka stuffing.

I would like to thank God, my family, my friends, and my readers, for indulging me. I have a platform, and I am grateful that I am still liked even though I have never once used this platform responsibly or in a way that would improve society.

Happy Politically Incorrect Overindulgent Eating Meat and Watching Football Day!

eric

The following people have led to the Tygrrrr Express as a full time existence.

Greg Neyman, aka the Hat, showed me in 1997 what the internet was. This led to eBay and Jdate, where I do most of my pleasure shopping.

Lara Berman in March of 2007 convinced me emphatically that I should become a blogger. Had she not been a Republican Jewish brunette, I may have ignored her insistence. She is still hot.

Jamie Krasnoo, who over a decade earlier built my first computer, taught me about WordPress, where setting up a blog was so easy that even a caveman could do it. Yeah, I know. I should shave.

Mark Harvey, a blogger himself known as Snooper, was the first person to read my blog and ask me for permission to copy my words onto his blog with proper credit. I had about 10 hits a day at that point, and it told me that somebody out there read me.

Micky2 is a guy living in Hawaii. I have never met him, but he became my first regular reader who did not know me in real life. He agrees with me on most issues, but more importantly he told me that I made a difference in my life. He definitely made a difference in mine. I now have many readers, but he was the first.

Jersey McJones became my first contrarian. I disagree with him on most issues, and he rips into my arguments on most days. Yet make no mistake about. Contrarians are good for America. He keeps me on my toes, which forces me to try and strengthen my own arguments. I have many critics, but he was the first.

In real life, my friendships are long term. It is humbling to know that when readers come to my site, whether publicly or privately, they stick around.

Susan Duclos, aka Spree, had me be a guest blogger on her site, increasing my readership.

Larry Greenfield in 2004 was Executive Director of the Republican Jewish Coalition. I met him at a party, and he got me involved with the RJC, which has led to lifelong friendships across America. I initially joined to meet Republican Jewish brunettes, but began caring about issues. In 2007 Larry put me on a panel in San Francisco with Richard Baehr and Thomas Lifson of American Thinker. That was my first public political speech.

Georgette Gelbard told me that I had a future as a public speaker. I never worked with her, but her enthusiasm got me excited about speaking more.That day she introduced me to Daniel Pipes of the Middle East Forum, and that Wekend I also met Cinnamon Stillwell. Both of them have helped me add serious blogging work as a counterbalance to my more lighthearted fare, while making a difference in the Jewish community.

Georgette also got me invited to Restoration Weekend, put on by David Horowitz and his Freedom Center. I met Ward Connerly at that event.

Doris Ohayon worked in Larry’s office at the RJC. She has been an amazing friend. Except for relatives and Nancy Reagan, no woman has my respect as much as Doris. She asked me to be the person to introduce Andrew Breitbart at an event. I would also like to thank Andrew Breitbart for the opportunity to blog at Big Hollywood. That really increased my readership.

The biggest spike in traffic I ever had by far came from Matt Drunk at the Drunk Report, a brilliant satire of the Drudge Report. I am beyond thankful for his link.

Larry Greenfield introduced me to radio host Hugh Hewitt. After vetting me for about a year, Hugh Hewitt linked to one of my columns, and had me as a guest on my radio show.

Through Larry I met conservative comedian Evan Sayet, who does a national “Right to Laugh” series of conservative comedians. He took a chance on me to do a ten minute set, and now I am a regular.

Klara Bergman got me my first paid speech, a 10 minute undercard to the Thousand Oaks Republican Women’s Federated. Rosemary Licata was the President of that group, and she gave the approval.

Chad Everson of the Grizzly Groundswell and Doug of the Stix Blog convinced me to cover the 2008 GOP Convention in Minneapolis as a blogger. I met tons of people that weekend, including radio host Armstrong Williams, who had me on as a guest. Oh, and me, Chad, and Doug slept in a sportsbar that week. It was awesome.

In April of 2009, my book, “Ideological Bigotry,” was published. Armstrong Williams and Ward Connerly wrote the endorsements on the back.

Celeste Greig of the Reseda-Tarzana Republican Women’s Federated gave me my first attempt to speak as a headliner of an event. This was in May of 2009.

In the Summer of 2009, the Simi Valley Republican Women’s Federated had their Golden Anniversary Gala at the Reagan Library. Sarah Palin was going to speak, and then it was announced that she would not. President Peggy Sadler and Vice President Patricia Saraceno took a chance on a virtual unknown in front of hundreds of people. That speech launched me.

Richard Baehr and Thomas Lifson offered kind words about me to radio host Dennis Miller, resulting in me being a guest on his show.

Jay Hoffman introduced me to Sean Hannity and other Fox News muckety mucks. We shall see. It was great of him to do so.

My boss, knowing how much I loved my job and public speaking, gave me his full encouragement to try and succeed full time as a public speaker. While I still consider myself a stockbrokerage professional, after 15 years, in September of 2009, I decided to become a full time public speaker.

I began traveling anywhere and everywhere, speaking to large groups of several hundred such as at the Reagan Library, and small groups such as one chapter of the Republican Women’s Federated in San Diego. It was me and ten ladies sitting around the table. They were delightful. I sold six books, and one of the women was on the county, which led to more speeches. I will not turn down small groups.

I traveled all throughout California, but wanted to go national. The Republican Jewish Coalition sent me to Chicago with encouragement of RIchard Baehr, Ventura County with support of Mitch Silberman, Ls Vegas and Reno with support from Leo Bletnitsky and Don Kaplan, and Arizona with support from Amy Laff.

I even got to meet Stevie Rivenbark, who is the current Miss Wilmington, and a top ten finisher in the Miss North Carolina pageant. I got to go to the 2009 National Young Republican Conference in Indianapolis, making new friendships and lining more YR events nationwide. I also struck of friendships with the College Republicans as well.

Sydelle Rothstein introduced me to radio host Elise Richmond, who has had me on her show.

Through Larry Greenfield and Evan Sayet I met Gary Aminoff, the Vice Chair of the California Republican Party. Through Celeste Greig I met Jane Barnett, the Chairwoman of the CRP. Through Evan Sayet I met Vladimir Cymbal. Val has told many people about my book. Val also helped me get to Indian Wells for the 2009 Spring CRP Convention, where I made many contacts.

At Indian Wells, I met Don Genhart, the Prince of Palm Desert. Don is the Dos Equis Guy without the Beard. He knows everybody, and they all find him fascinating. He has introduced me to many people.

Woody Woodrum and Ari David have both had me emcee kickoff events for them. Being the first speaker at a new organization or event is a thrill.

Finally, on November 13th, 2009, I was flown to Galveston, Texas, to speak to the 2009 Texas Federation of Republican Women’s entire state convention. I am so thankful for TFRW President Toni Ann Dashiell for taking a major chance on somebody unknown in Texas who lived in the People’s Republic of Los Angeles. I sold 100 books that weekend. When I got home, I looked in the mirror, and realized that I really can do this.

I met Scott Gluck through Doris Ohayon. He has me as an RJC Guest blogger. No matter where I go, I want my Republican Jewish identity to be a major part of everything.

Only 11 weeks after beginning to speak publicly full time, I now have plenty more speeches in California, Arizona, Nevada, Texas, Florida, and beyond coming up.

I have even been an undercard several times to Chuck DeVore, who hopefully will be the next U.S. Senator from California. He and his wife Diane are great. Being his opening act allowed me to open for Jim Rutledge, who is running for Senate in Maryland.

On December 16th, 2009, I speak at the Marin County GOP holiday party near San Francisco.

The Bay area contains dear friends Lisa and Bob Cohen, and David Blumberg. I met them through the RJC.

Yet beyond this, San Francisco matters for two reasons. First of all, that is where I had my very first speech two years ago. I actually have fans now. They tell me that they saw me at that first speech.

Secondly, I am the undercard at this event. The headliner is Tom Del Beccaro, the Vice Chairman of the Republican Party and most likely the next Chairman. In Indian Wells, he introduced me to Greg Poulos, who treated me with much kindness. I met Tom Del Beccaro at that first San Francisco speech through Larry Greenfield.

This incredibly small world really does tie together.

So as I enjoy the solace and solitude of a quiet Thanksgiving at home while watching football, I feel truly blessed. I am not alone. I have so many friends and supporters who believe in me.

Also, that is before getting to those long time friends and loved ones that could care less about politics but care about me. They are too numerous to mention, but I am the luckiest guy on this planet.

Happy Thanksgiving indeed.

eric