Troubled pop star Whitney Houston has died at age 48. Her untimely death was predictable, but still tragic.
eric
Troubled pop star Whitney Houston has died at age 48. Her untimely death was predictable, but still tragic.
eric
Yesterday was Super Bowl Sunday.
The Giants beating the Patriots 21-17 was fantastic. Watching the Evil Empire of Football lose when it matters most is always nice.
Yet Super Bowl Sunday is also about gorging on tons of unhealthy and delicious food.
The Monday after the Super Bowl should be a national holiday. The next president should work on that.
So for those expecting insightful wisdom, come back Tuesday.
This concludes the 2011-2012 NFL season. Now for Recovery Monday.
I need a nap.
Goodnight.
eric
I am now 40.
Here are 40 happy memories as I turn 40.
eric
Tonight, friends and I will gather at a restaurant as we “celebrate” my being 39 and 363/365. On Monday, January 9th, 2012, at 3:28pm EST, my 30s will officially be gone forever.
The “f-word” is approaching any moment now.
http://communities.washingtontimes.com/neighborhood/tygrrrr-express/2012/jan/7/death-my-30s/
eric
We can do this 2012
I need a nap. Happy 2012.
zzzzz
eric
My 2012 State of the Blog Address
Happy New Year all!
eric
The Top 10 Bimbos of 2011
Some people are more vapid than Barack Obama. Here are the Top 10 Bimbos of 2011.
The First Gasbag in Chief held a press conference awhile back where he stated that his first two years in office “were the most productive two years in generations.”
He recently declared himself to be at worst the fourth greatest president of our time, and possibly the best.
To paraphrase one overrated NFL player, the president sure does love him some him.
Any further discussion of his press conferences are unnecessary, since (shockingly enough coming from his hollow majesty), he speaks plenty and says nothing.
Yet while Barack Obama is an empty suit who defines compromise as everybody shutting up and agreeing with him, he is not the least substantive person on the planet.
While it is true that he uses so many words to say absolutely nothing, he has competition in the uselessness department.
While he is the leader of the nation of Gasbagistan, there are people in existence who make him look and sound relevant.
There are people significantly more vapid and hollow than he is.
Well, not significantly, but slightly more.
Barack Obama is left off of the list solely out of respect for the office of the presidency itself. It would be nice if he had that same regard. Besides, it would be unfair to include him without his supporters. Also, for once, it is nice to have a discussion without having to include his rhetoric.
One criteria was that the people on the list had to be utterly useless, talentless, and worthless. For instance, Lady Ga-Ga may be a lunatic, but she does have talent. She can sing and dance. Some people on this list may have had talent at some point, but a long time ago. Jon Huntsman was left off the list because even mentioning him tenth would lead him to start claiming that he was on the verge of being first.
With that, I offer the people who are more vapid than Barack Obama.
Last year brought the Top 10 Bimbos of 2010.
Here are the Top 10 Bimbos of 2011.
10) Vince Young/Albert Haynesworth/Matt Leinart
These three NFL players are a disgrace. Leinart made the list last year. Despite throwing away his career in Arizona, he ended up in Houston as a backup. The starter went down due to injury, and Leinart had his chance to redeem himself. He lasted almost half of one game before getting injured again and missing another season. Young is worse. He quit on his team, walked away from headquarters, and then tried to make it up to his coach through a text message instead of a face to face meeting. He was cut, ended up in Philly, and blabbed to the media that they were a “dream team” destined for the Super Bowl. He was the backup, and the team began 1-4. He finally came in for one pass, and it was intercepted. Haynesworth has been lazy for much of his career. He went to New England, which has resurrected many players. He lasted a few games before getting cut for still being lazy. Tampa Bay picked him up and has lost nine straight games.
9) Katy Perry/Russell Brand–These detestable overexposed celebrities were much higher last year after a string of stupid comments ranging from her taunting a high school ex-boyfriend during a concert to his imbecilic comments about Israel oppressing the Palestinians. They are lower on the list this year because perhaps they realized that shutting up would do them some good. She is a singer and he is an actor, and they both take pride in lacking substance, especially her. She was even fired from Sesame Street for shaking her (redacted) on a children’s show. Despite a quiet year, they have to remain on the list due to their overall toxicity. Another silent year may get them removed.
8) John Edwards–The former North Carolina Senator, vice presidential candidate, and ambulance chaser was left off the list last year solely out of respect for his late wife. She died of cancer days before the list was released. Yet a year later, he remains the guy who cheated on his dying wife, got his mistress pregnant, and tried to get a staffer to claim fatherhood of the child. Now the man who used the courts to redistribute wealth is fighting for his freedom. He has been indicted for campaign finance violations, although his being the darling of progressives could get him a free pass.
7) Katie Couric–While Dan Rather had already destroyed the credibility of the CBS News brand of Edward R. Murrow and Walter Cronkite, Katie Couric took it to new lower levels. Perky pom-pom cheerleader Katie became a darling of the left when she did a hit job on Sarah Palin. Yet it was Couric who ended her first broadcast by asking what Will Ferrell’s Ron Burgundy from “Anchorman” would have to say about the news. Couric’s fluff was fine for a morning television show. It was not acceptable for a hard news show. The ratings collapsed and she was fired.
6) Lindsay Lohan–Putting this teenage actress on this lit almost seems gratuitous, but she deserves it. While Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, and Tara Reid all went through their phase, they eventually recovered. They were bimbos, and they decided to stop. For Hilton, it took time in jail. Britney became a mom. Lohan is more than an alcoholic, drunk-driving, drug addicted, jewelry stealing, community service avoiding mess. When she appeared in court, she had the f-bomb etched into her fingernails. The judge was not amused, and nobody in America should encourage this train wreck.
5) Susan Sarandon–This person used to be an actress who along with her boyfriend Tim Robbins would use their celebrity status to launch into leftist tirades. Now she has embraced Occupy Wall Street. The problem is the dregs of humanity infecting that movement have no idea who she is. She was famous a long time ago. Now she is a has-been who lost her boyfriend, and desperately wants to be seen as relevant. There comes a time when people need to grow up, not just grow old. She has done neither gracefully. Rumor has it when she returns to her wealthy home she does not invite OWS protesters over to eat and shower.
4) Occupy Wall St Protesters–These protesters should be beaten with as much force as possible until they disperse. They are not peaceful, and nobody has any Constitutional right to violent protest. They claim to be the 99%, yet then claim that the drug addicts, homeless people, and sexual predators in their midst do not represent them. Are they saying the filth is the 1%? Are they protesting Wall Street or their own? They have no idea what they are protesting. They just want free stuff. If they cared about Wall Street, they would go after Jon Corzine rather than ruin business for the local hot dog vendors and shoe shine people.
3) Kardashians–These people remain the trio from Hell. The original KKK burned people alive. This KKK of Kourtney, Khloe, and Kim just refuse to go away while burning the brain cells of their fans. Kim got married and divorced after about 22 days, all of it on video. The only reason anyone knows her is because of her video experience, found in X-rated areas on the internet. Every athlete from Reggie Bush to Miles Austin to Chris Humphrey should be boycotted due to guilt by association. A dishonorable mention also goes to Sinead O’Connor, whose fourth marriage just ended after only 16 days because her husband did not approve of her going on their wedding night looking for weed to get her stoned. Nothing compares to her idiocy, except perhaps the Kardashians.
2) Jon Corzine–This failed human being was fired from Goldman Sachs, then fired from the New Jersey Governor’s job, and then left after bankrupting that state to end up bankrupting MF Global. 1.2 billion dollars is missing, and customer funds appear to have been commingled with company money. Corzine will skate because the CFTC Chairman is a personal friend of his. Corzine used to run Goldman Sachs, making him above the law. Also, he is a leftist, giving him blanket immunity from prosecution because his intentions were good. He is the epitome of Wall Street greed, but luckily everybody from OWS to Barack Obama only pretend to care about that.
Yet as absolutely worthless as these people are, one person truly deserves his own hall of shame.
1) Anthony Weiner–This sex-crazed hound doggie was married less than a year before getting caught sending his appendage over Twitter to various women. Weiner is a leftist bully who never missed an opportunity to engage in the politics of personal destruction against anyone he disagreed with. At first he claimed that his account was hacked. He lied for a week, refused to resign, and was dragged kicking and screaming from power. He expressed surprise to one Jewish paramour that she would engage in certain sex acts, since he as a Jewish person stereotypically thought Jewish women were frigid. He also may have used his office to engage in lewd behavior, which is possibly illegal. His resigning prevented him from having to turn over his phone records. The biggest source of amusement was not his appropriately given surname. It is that he was kicked out of office, and he never even got to sleep with the women. He received all of the scandal with none of the actual sex.
So congratulations to one of the worst human beings to ever infect Congress, which starts out with the bar fairly low. Anthony Weiner is the Top Bimbo of 2011.
eric
Today is the Jewish holiday of Hal Levine, or as the non-Jews call it, Halloween.
The name Hal Levine was created by my former Jewish university where I attended college. They called it Hal Levine because they thought the Jewish students would be too dumb to know that made it ok to celebrate a pagan holiday. Actually most of them were.
Last year Halloween was a true nightmare. My girlfriend and I got in a fight and broke up that night. It was an acrimonious hostile breakup, and we were both better off going in different directions. Yet she used to quote the Dalai Llama and say that “the purpose of our lives is to be happy.” So I hope this Hal Levine finds her in a state of happiness.
For me, happiness means being with my friends. I drove yesterday from Des Moines, Iowa to Chicago, Illinois, a 6 hour drive, or in my case (allegedly) about 4 hours.
Today has me flying from Chicago to my home in Los Angeles, driving to see my friends, and attending the freak show in West Hollywood. Normally I have a girlfriend and we do matching costumes. This year I am flying solo, and I honestly do not know what costume I will break out. After sleeping in my own bed tonight the next day is a plane to Florida.
So a precious few hours in Los Angeles is just enough time to enjoy Halloween.
The whole point of Halloween is for men to enjoy young, attractive women of legal age and higher dressed as salaciously as possible. The trick is to get these French maids, lady cops, and Playboy bunnies to wear those costumes throughout the year and not just October 31st. In that sense women are a work in progress.
Anyway, here are some musings from Hal Levine’s past.
https://tygrrrrexpress.com/2007/10/hal-levine-wizards-and-scary-liberals/
https://tygrrrrexpress.com/2008/10/hal-levine-2008-terrorists-and-liberals-still-frightening-me/
https://tygrrrrexpress.com/2009/10/happy-2009-terrorists-and-liberals-still-frighten-me/
For those who choose to dress up like Occupy Wall Street protesters, just understand that the Monster Mash is more than a traditional Halloween song. Some monsters deserve to get mashed.
See you in November.
Happy Halloween, Hal Levine, and Hobgoblin hunting.
eric
Before getting to football, today is a day to celebrate Cherie Lombard.
One minute Jenn O’Neal was minding her own business as a college student. The next minute she was caught up in a whirlwind of social networking excitement as she became my 1000th Facebook friend.
https://tygrrrrexpress.com/2010/11/all-hail-jenn-oneal/
Like everybody else who cheers at the mere mentions of artificial useless metrics of social acceptance, she was so excited by the news that she could barely contain herself.
(I was not in the room, so maybe she just shrugged.)
Anyway, it is one thing to be Miss 1000. Yet to be Miss 2000 has to be three times as nice, or at least twice as nice if one managed to avoid public school.
The competition was fierce, as a pair of South Carolina women raced to be the chosen one. I spoke at a Labor Day picnic in Charleston. They both heard me, or at least pretended to so they could win the coveted award.
It is with a deep sense of sadness that I have to inform Paige Duffy Lewis that she was 33 seconds to late. She was number 2001. We can argue over when the millennium actually was, but people went with 2000 and not 2001. Historical accuracy is not as vital as symmetrical round numbers, even for those without ADD or OCD.
So while I would love to tell you all about Paige Duffy Lewis, ethics prevents this from happening. Of course, you could read her Facebook page.
Ms. Cherie Lombard is Facebook friend number 2000. I expect all of you out there to give her the emotional equivalent of a ticker tape parade.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=682745400#!/profile.php?id=1496582878
In honor of her, I am coming back to Charleston, South Carolina, again today to present her with the award.
Actually I was flying there anyway for speaking engagements, but my original proclamation sounds so much more lofty.
Ms. Lombard is married, and while she and her husband share a Facebook status, only the person who contacted me was eligible. Think of it as the McDonalds Monopoly game without the burgers, fries, game pieces or prizes.
As for Ms. Lombard, I would tell you all about her but her Facebook page says it all. Some will say that is a fancy way of saying I am uninformed, but the truth is you should check out her Facebook page since this whole contest is from that site.
So all Hail Cherie Lombard! She is number one in our hearts, but more importantly number 2000 in my official tally.
eric
Buffalo Bills @ New York Giants (3)
(Giants cover)
Indianapolis Colts @ Cincinnati Bengals (7)
(Colts win outright)
Jacksonville Jaguars @ Pittsburgh Steelers (13)
(Steelers win but fail to cover)
Philadelphia Eagles (3) @ Washington Redskins
(Eagles cover)
San Francisco 49ers @ Detroit Lions (4 1/2)
(Lions win but fail to cover)
St. Louis Rams @ Green Bay Packers (15)
(Packers win but fail to cover)
Carolina Panthers @ Atlanta Falcons (4)
(Falcons win but fail to cover)
Houston Texans @ Baltimore Ravens (8)
(Ravens win but fail to cover)
Cleveland Browns @ Oakland Raiders (7)
(Raiders win but fail to cover)
Dallas Cowboys @ New England Patriots (7)
(Patriots win but fail to cover)
New Orleans Saints (5) @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers
(Saints win but fail to cover)
Minnesota Vikings @ Chicago Bears (3) is the Sunday night game.
(Vikings win outright)
Miami Dolphins @ New York Jets (7) is the Monday night game.
(Jets cover)
eric
Now comes the hard part.
From North Carolina to New Hampshire, Hurricane Irene leveled homes, destroyed communities, and even took some lives. Outside of being alive, none of us can really offer a true silver lining to this black cloud of rain-drenched despair.
I was supposed to fly to New Hampshire on Friday, but decided to stay in Chicago. My friends and family in New York did not have such luxuries. As of now my friends in Manhattan and Nassau County are safe. My family in Staten Island is safe. Yet phone lines in Suffolk County were down, and those people I care about are unaccounted for.
I lived 18 years in Suffolk County, and remembered Hurricane Gloria in 1985. We had no power for 10 days because the Long Island Lighting Company (LILCO) was terrible even by agency standards. A quarter of a century later, and the Long Island Power Authority (LIPA, a slightly less ugly cousin of LILCO) naturally sees hundreds of thousands of people without power on their watch. It is convenient to blame the storms, but virtually every time it rained in Suffolk County my home suffered a brownout or blackout. Enough already. Can’t anybody in Suffolk County turn the lights back on like everybody else can?
Most of my family is in Brooklyn. The ones I care about are fine. They live in Coney Island, and Coney Island got belted.
Days like this make me wish I could just retreat into a log cabin and isolate myself from everything. Then I remember that I like people. Then I lament the fact that I like people. My speaking career takes me all around America, and I have made friends everywhere. I cannot call everybody, and I have no way of knowing if people who mean more to me than they will ever know are safe.
This is a hint people. If you know me, and you can tolerate my existence, let me know you are safe and sound. Yes, of course I am being selfish. I can empathize for complete strangers while being most concerned about friends and loved ones.
To make matters worse, “safe” is a very fluid term. People may have survived Hurricane Irene itself, but the flood nightmares are just beginning.
The worst aspect of natural disasters beyond the physical damage is the psychological toll magnified by the utter helplessness that we mere mortals are reduced to. We can fight terrorists and kill them. We can sue them in courts. We can freeze their bank accounts. Arguing with God has not worked since John Denver tried it in the movies. In real life, God wins and the questioner gets a padded cell with white rubber walls.
For Atheists, acts of nature are the same. Try arguing with a tree. If the tree responds, you are insane and lose the argument of life no matter who wins that particular argument.
While ordinary people are suffering, some politicians will try to use this to their advantage. Right now some of them are meeting with pollsters to tell them how and when to respond. “Never let a crisis go to waste” is a recent mantra. If I hear the current president tell us that this crisis would have been worse if not for his intervention, my head will explode.
I want to believe in the best of people from a moral and an intellectual standpoint, but it is easy to lose heart when some dolt asks New Jersey Governor Chris Christie when the casinos will reopen. It is one thing if you own the casino or depend on it for a paycheck. If you are worried about playing the slots, please do not reproduce because idiocy is exponential.
While there is very little optimism in this situation, one message I want to communicate to people is not to feel guilty if they are unable to directly help. Don’t beat yourselves up.
When I was eighteen and a freshman in college, several of my classmates felt guilty because they could not leave Los Angeles and get on a plane to Israel to defend it against scud missiles from Saddam Hussein’s Iraq. My dad put it in perspective. He said, “Everybody has a function in life. The soldiers in Israel need to fight. Your mother and I have to put food on the table to feed you. Our function in life is to fulfill our responsibilities. We are going to work. Your functions are to go to school and get good grades.”
(I did one out of two. I showed up. My grades were adequate.)
Would I like to fly from Chicago to New York today? Absolutely. Yet my responsibilities take me to Cleveland, South Carolina, and Iowa first. New York is next week. We can’t be everywhere, and we cannot help others by neglecting our own responsibilities.
So to those thinking of beating yourselves up, there is nothing you could have done to prevent this tragedy. Natural disasters are not preventable and often not even predictable.
The best things we can do at times like this are so incredibly cliche, and even mentioning them borders on banality. Yet sometimes the obvious is still the best course of action.
Call your loved ones. Donate money if you can. Donate time if you can. Donate blood if you can.
The key words “if you can” always apply because none of us are Superman. We may be more than mere specks in the universe, but perhaps not much more. We will do what we can, and look in the mirror privately later.
Optimistic pep talks are for football games. Real life does not need cheerleaders. It needs doers.
(Let me backtrack. If you inspire people with your words into action, do it. Bishop T.D. Jakes was magnificent after the Virginia Tech shooting. If your words are to please yourself, keep them to yourself.)
The rest of the world is not going to help us even though they would barely exist without American aid and comfort. Once again, it is up to the Americans to handle things. This time all Americans would agree the cause is worth it, because it is internal. It is us.
Our neighbors are hurting, some like they have never hurt before.
So let’s help them because we know they would help us. The America I know and love is proof of this.
Time to roll up the sleeves and get to work. We can do this.
Time for me to try and make more phone calls between plane flights.
To my relatives and friends I still cannot get ahold of, I offer love and prayers that you and your families are all right. Call when you can.
To the remaining 300 million members of my extended American family, God bless.
eric