Last night was the Academy Awards. The Oscar for best insignificant narcissist goes to…some insignificant narcissistic. Who the hell cares? Not me. To save the environment in 2010, here is my barely altered recycled column.
While Iraqis were voting in another election that again vindicated President George W. Bush, the imbeciles in our media were focused on gaudy outfits, red carpets, and ever pious millionaires pretending they cared about ordinary Americans. They were too busy bashing Sarah Palin to comment on the John Edwards sex tape. Perhaps some of them are on the tape. Charlie Sheen had no comment.
(The Bush comment was to see what liberals would try to hijack this thread that has nothing to do with him. Cherry pickers love doing that.)
As for me, I spent the weekend in Orange County at the California Republican Assembly 75th Anniversary Convention. There were no Hollywood celebrities present. It was excellent. I got to meet politicians that make decisions that affect many people. In other words, I prefer to talk to people that actually matter.
This morning I drive to Palm Springs for an event with Congresswoman Mary Bono Mack. Tonight I am on a redeye to South Florida for Spring Break. Why? Because I can. You wish you could. There will be no celebrities infecting my air.
Sarah Palin was on Jay Leno a few days ago. I do not have to watch the Oscars to know that several leftist parasites on society will make fun of her having notes on her hand. That is called being “edgy,” if edgy is defined as stale jokes in front of a supportive idiotic audience.
My rental car did get home in time to watch some of the Oscars, which of course I did not do. It was bade enough that “Desperate Housewives” was preempted. Fox News had reruns. Thankfully the NFL Network had the NFL Combine. Normally I do not watch that, but it was not the Oscars.
I was debating whether or not to put on the last 10-15 minutes of the broadcast with no sound on, like I do with the ninth inning of the seventh game of the World Series when there are two outs.
I am sure tomorrow I will read whether or not Bill Clinton showed up to play the saxophone while John Kerry gushes about the heart and soul of America in a building filled with people that have neither. I wonder if the John Edwards sex tape won for best documentary. The Oscar’s are even more leftist, boring and long winded than an Obama health care speech, although it is close.
Some say it is unfair to indict every person in Hollywood. After all, like Palestinians and liberals, why blame the 20% of entertainment industry that are not drenched in toxicity? After all, 80% is not a majority. Oh, wait. Yes, it is.
The reason why the industry is so disgusting is because left wing politics long ago replaced quality.
The first thing that all Academy voters should be required to do is sign an oath that they watched every movie that they voted on. If they are caught paying their relatives or others to watch the movies and report back to them, their voting privileges should be permanently revoked.
The Oscars are boring, predictable, and disgusting. Voters have a formula for what they like.
One way to get nominated is to play a homosexual. In fact, it cannot be any homosexual. It must be a homosexual activist, and the activist must be a hero. If it is played by a left-wing activist, all the better. Personally I would like to see a movie made about Sean Penn. A conservative actor would play him, and make sure to show the part where he engages in domestic violence against his wife and assaults cameramen. For “dramatic effect,” he can be shown praising Alec Baldwin while a tape runs of Baldwin verbally abusing his daughter. I personally thought “Milk,” was a movie about lactation. After all, the same people that praise the “Vagina Monologues” as “groundbreaking” must have thought that a movie about breast milk would be “courageous.”
Another way to get nominated is to play somebody that is dying from a politically correct disease. AIDS is a good choice. Cancer is not. After all, many homosexuals and drug users get AIDS. In fact, to really stir the emotional pot, the person has to suffer from discrimination, either from an evil corporation, vile Republican, or both. The exception to the cancer rule will be the El;izabeth Edwards life story, where she will be cast as the innocent victim.
Another option is to play a retard or a “handicapable” person. It works. After all, they are politically correct. Whether overcoming a physical or mental illness, provided that the story tilts leftward, it will do fine. Anti-war activists injured in battle make great Oscar nominees.
When the academy runs out of generic movies of leftists as heroes, the next option is to find an evil conservative villain. The actor playing the lead role should have a hostile attitude in real life towards Republicans. Barring that, anything that attacks Republicans works. I mean, “Frost-Nixon” is a movie that takes place three years after Nixon resigns in disgrace. Talk about kicking the dog while he is down. Listening to a conservative bellow, “I told you I didn’t want to take any questions on Watergate!” makes Academy voters cream their undies.
The last step is to ignore the movie altogether and find somebody that died “tragically” and “way too young.”
Look, the “Batman” movie was outstanding. It should have gotten nominations in every major category. Yet the movie was politically conservative. That is a non-starter for the Academy. Also, the snobs at the Academy would not think of deigning to let a “comic book” movie win where it counts.
Why should that matter? “The Dark Knight” was a stunningly brilliant movie that should have given Oscar nominations to Morgan Freeman (Lucius), Michael Caine (Alfred the Butler), Christian Bale (Batman), and especially Aaron Eckhart (Harvey Two-Face). Another almost certainty behind Eckhart should have been Gary Oldman (Commissioner Gordon). Michael Caine has been praised in the past by the Academy, but that was for playing the lead role in a movie that pushed a pro-choice activism on abortion. The movie was marketed as a sweet movie about children in an orphanage, but the agenda was clear.
Yes, Heath Ledger deserved a nomination. He was excellent as well, although not as brilliant as Oldman or Eckhart. Yet he got the nomination because he died too young, and tragically. The Academy said this loudly.
Forgive me, but Heath Ledger was a dumb (redacted) who killed himself, either accidentally or in a suicide. That must not have any impact on the voters. If anything, it cheapens his nomination because had he lived, he would have been worthy of a nomination anyway.
I am tired of people who die this way being glorified, whether it be Janis Joplin, Jimmy Hendrix, Curt Cobain, or Heath Ledger. This should have no bearing on Emmys, Grammys, or Oscars.
When all else fails, foreign love stories are the answer. In fact, anything foreign appeals to the Academy.
Whether it be Asians Crouching about tigers and dragons, or some people from India falling in love, foreign lovers are all the rage. If there is no love story, political activists are a global sensation. One year it is Irish revolutionaries. The next year it is Tibet.The less the story matters in the real world, and the fewer the number of people that watch it, the greater the chances for a nomination.
The worst part of this fiasco is the self-congratulatory left-wing blather. Yet in very tough economic times, the Academy tries to scale things down. They then congratulate themselves on how spectacular they are at scaling things down.
For those that want a recap from the California Republican Assembly Party Convention, that will occur this week.
For those that need a recap of events at the NFL Scouting Combine, there is a fabulous website.
For those that truly care about the self-indulgent spoiled brats that make up the Academy, just walk outside. There will be people bent over just enough to treasury the aroma of their own rumpuses. If that does not work, follow the trail of cocaine powder.
(Monique is exempt from criticism. My bizarre fascination with her still burns. If she ever says anything political I will add her to my list of yummy bouncies in the spring. She was is one plus size bag of beauty.)
At least the event is over with. Now the industry can get back to its day job, putting out left-wing crap and calling it art.
eric